Named characters
4166 Jameson (454)/Emily (250)/Jameson Miles (79)/Emily Foster (40)/Em (21)/Miles (5)/Foster (4)/CEO (2)/Jameson Grant Miles (1)/JAMESON (1)/Screwing Jameson Miles (1)/Jameson Miles the CEO (1)/you’re Jameson Miles (1)/poor Jameson (1)/CEO of (1)/Jameson darling (1)/the Jameson Miles (1) sir (9)/This man (4)/my man (4)/This woman (2)/an asshole (2)/baby (2)/my girlfriend (2)/my beautiful man (2)/the hero (2)/the most attractive woman I ’ve seen in a long time (1)/Good girl (1)/darling (1)/an American businessman (1)/the eldest son of media mogul George Miles Jr. and the grandson of George Miles Sr (1)/the grandson of George Miles Sr (1)/the former executive chairman of Publishing and Consolidated Media Holdings , which predominantly owns media interests across a range of platforms (1)/the first woman I have been with in a long time who had no idea who I was (1)/a god (1)/this guy (1)/the CEO (1)/a businessman — successful and handsome (1)/this man (1)/a self - absorbed player who sleeps with whoever he wants , whenever he wants (1)/the king of Twatsville (1)/The man (1)/Oh man (1)/my only man (1)/sweetheart (1)/the man (1)/that snarky bitch (1)/woman (1)/my woman (1)/The CEO (1)/the most delicious man on the planet (1)/my God (1)/the control freak (1)/princess (1)/this woman (1)/the beautiful woman in my kitchen (1)/babe (1)/my Emily (1)/the paper man (1)/the CEO of a company (1)/you idiot (1)/this asshole (1)/Fucking asshole (1)/the fucking asshole (1)/my friend (1)/The man that Emily (1)/You idiot (1)
1328 Alan (77)/Ricardo (16)/Sammia (15)/Richard (7)/Mr. Peters (2)/That stupid fucking Ricardo (1)/Stupid fucking Ricardo (1)/trusty Alan (1) sir (20)/The man (4)/the man (2)/a young man (1)/the ticket man (1)/Oh man (1)/that man (1)/a man sitting next to the window (1)/you poor homeless person (1)/the layover guy who never asked for my number (1)/the fucking CEO (1)/this asshole (1)/The man at the desk (1)/a man (1)/a terrible liar (1)/the CEO (1)/that Uber guy (1)/gorgeous man (1)/the ultimate male specimen (1)/boss man (1)/dad (1)/an older woman who looks like she is scolding her husband (1)/the man who is looking at his phone (1)/your driver (1)/boss (1)
1104 Aaron (183)/God (56)/George (6)/Marjorie (3)/George Miles Sr (1)/Miles (1)/Marjorie Bishop (1)/Dear God (1)/Mrs. Miles (1)/[NARRATOR] dear (6)/babe (4)/baby (1)/this bartender (1)/This guy (1)/the fucking president (1)/the man who did n’t even want my number the last time we slept together (1)/the man (1)/the bastard (1)/My friend (1)/the one who sits next to me (1)/That fucking asshole (1)/you crazy bastard (1)/the blond god (1)/The blonde (1)/the brunette gushes (1)/sweetheart (1)/bitch (1)/darling (1)
703 Tristan (171)/Gabriel Ferrara (13)/Ferrara (12)/Gabriel (7)/Tris (4)/Mr. Ferrara (4)/Tristan Miles (3)/Mr. Gabriel Ferrara (1) man (6)/a great man (1)/the bastard (1)/The poor bastard (1)/that fucking asshole (1)/babe (1)/this idiot (1)/my poor man (1)/The hero of the day (1)/boy (1)/the DJ (1)
659 Robbie (27)/Robbie McIntyre (1) this man (15)/This man (3)/a man who ’s so dominant and commanding (1)/baby (1)/The man (1)/This guy (1)/the guy (1)/his brother (1)/a gorgeous man (1)/Thieving bastard (1)/The last man (1)/the same man who runs Miles Media (1)/The man with me (1)/an excellent breakfast chef (1)
623 Molly (176)/Moll (7)/Marjorie (4)/Molly stammers (1)/Keeley May (1)/Keely May (1) the woman (3)/a deplorable party girl (1)/woman (1)/this girl (1)/that girl (1)/the stupidest fucking man I ’ve ever known (1)/my friend (1)
450 Jim (44)/Hayden (30)/beautiful Jim (1)/Hayden Morris (1)/Morris (1) this guy (6)/This guy (2)/this man (2)/the type who reads trashy romance novels too (1)/sir (1)/This man (1)/The floor manager (1)/the funny , carefree man I spent the night with (1)/the person who I turn the news in to (1)/the only the person who has a shady past and the only person I can think of who would double - cross Miles Media (1)/the only person I can think of who would double - cross Miles Media (1)/the man you want me to be (1)
382 Jay (59)/Jake (55)/Jake Peters (1) baby (4)/the hottest man on earth (1)/the wrong man for the job (1)/the CEO of Miles Media (1)/a fucking idiot (1)/the investigator (1)/the only person who knows what we have (1)/My poor man (1)
290 Claudia (29)/Melina (5)/Claudia Mason (4)/Mason (4) this woman (3)/an English businesswoman and fashion icon (1)/a British journalist (1)/a normal girl from the suburbs (1)/a normal girl (1)/the woman (1)/my woman (1)/Good girl (1)
102 Mr. Miles (64)/Mr. Miles wo (1)/Dear Mr. Miles (1)/Mr. Miles the CEO (1)/Mr Miles (1)
95 Elliot (47)
75 Ava (33)
67 Chloe (13)/Whoever Chloe (1) your Chloe (1)
56 Mr. Fancy Pants (1) the guy at the desk (2)
52 Ms. Foster (11)/Miss Foster (1) Mr. Miles ’s driver (1)
51 Athena (11)
44 Michael (12)/Magic Mike XXL (5)/Magic Mike (2)/Mike (1)
38 Lindsey (19)
32 Christopher (20)/Christopher Miles (1)
28 Nobody (3) nobody (12)/Nobody (12)
28 Claud (8) You bastard (1)
25 Miles Media (18)/Miles (5) The family (1)/the market leader for thirty years (1)
24 Brad (4)
22 Mom (12) my beautiful mother (1)
22 Paul (8)
18 Matthew (4)/Matthew Price (1) the physio (1)
18 Baby (3)
16 Jesus (12)
12 Little Miss Snarky (1)
11 Ugh (11)
10 Jeez (4)
10 Mr. Nice Guy (2)/Dear Mr. Nice Guy (1)
10 Lauren (5)
10 Bessie (9)
9 Blair Witch Daniel (1)
9 Reiki (1)
8 Jessica (3)/JESSICA (1)
8 Yay (1) baby (5)
8 Stoneface (3)
8 Gosh (2)
7 Lara Aspin (7)
7 J (4)/Mr. J (1)/Dear Mr. J (1)/J xox (1)
7 Grindr (6) this asshole (1)
6 CEOs (1)/Two CEOs (1)
5 Frances (2) one of the floor managers (1)
5 Margaret (1)
5 Chanel (4)/Pure little Chanel (1)
5 Bitchy (3)
5 Tears (2)
4 Darling (1)
4 Danny Rupert (2)/Daniel (2)
4 Tenderness (1)
4 Renee (4)
4 Ha (4)
4 Kung Fu Panda (2)/the Kung Fu Panda (1)/the stupid Kung Fu Panda (1)
4 Cheesy (1)
3 HR (3)
3 Bastard (2)
3 Fiercely (1)
3 Bingo (1) this one (1)/This one (1)
3 Robert Day Daniels (3)
3 Rebecca (2)
3 Uber Eats (1)/Uber (1)/that damn cheesecake Uber (1)
3 Yum (1)
3 Buzz (3)
3 FB (2)/Dear FB (1)
3 Zuckerberg (3)
3 Dad (3)
3 Harry (1)/Harrison (1)
3 Empathy (1)
2 Lincoln (2)
2 Ryan Reynolds (1) my personal assistant (1)
2 Backseat Barbie (2)
2 Backseat Barbies (2)
2 Holy fucking shit (1)/Holy shit (1)
2 Mischa (2)
2 Ouch (2)
2 Everyone (2)
2 Lord (1)
2 Primal (1)
2 Lord (1)
2 Gorgeous (1)/Mr. Gorgeous (1)
2 Rocco (2)
2 Nutella (2)
2 Christ (2)
2 Somebody (2)
2 Babe (2)
2 Elizabeth (2)
2 Someone (1)
2 Arndell (1)/ARNDELL (1)
2 Media Guru (2)
2 Grace (2)
2 Aarons (1)
2 Idiot (2)
2 Steven King (1)
Major entities (proper, common)
FAC
29 Miles Media
5 Central Park
3 Park Avenue
3 Bryant Park
2 the Miles - High Club
2 Operation Flirty Office Slut
2 High Point State Park
1 Heathrow Airport
1 Magic Mike XXL
1 Mile - High Club
108 here/the office/The office/there/his office/my office/that area/Tristan ’s office/his place/park/my home/my apartment/Hayden ’s apartment/Emily ’s apartment/his apartment/the beautiful grounds/this place
86 home
47 the elevator/The elevator/the building/the office
47 the street/The street/the darkened street
35 the room/the hall/The room/his apartment/the lounge/a room/that room/the ballroom/my office
32 the building/the towering building above me/the huge office space/this building/his apartment/Emily ’s apartment building/her apartment
32 the bar/The bar/the club
28 the tent/The tent/a small tent/the outstretched tent/a tent
27 the bathroom/the bedroom/the apartment
25 the road/the highway/a dirt road/the main road/the track/the trail/this road/the rough road/The road
GPE
88 New York/Boston
19 London
5 California
5 Vegas
3 Viagra
3 Miles Media
2 Seattle
2 the United States
2 Brooklyn
2 Aspen
7 town
7 the city/the country/this city/This city/this place
7 the city/this city
3 the country
3 this place/This place
1 the same city
1 busy cities
1 cities
1 a city
1 the state
LOC
1 CEO heaven
1 Earth
27 the world/The world
10 earth
6 the forest/the dark forest
5 the water/The water
3 the planet
2 a different world
2 the living area
2 this world
2 the outside world
2 the lake
PER
864 Jameson/Emily/Jameson Miles/Emily Foster/Em/Miles/Foster/CEO/Jameson Grant Miles/JAMESON/Screwing Jameson Miles/Jameson Miles the CEO/you’re Jameson Miles/poor Jameson/CEO of/Jameson darling/the Jameson Miles
253 Aaron/God/George/Marjorie/George Miles Sr/Miles/Marjorie Bishop/Dear God/Mrs. Miles
215 Tristan/Gabriel Ferrara/Ferrara/Gabriel/Tris/Mr. Ferrara/Tristan Miles/Mr. Gabriel Ferrara
190 Molly/Moll/Marjorie/Molly stammers/Keeley May/Keely May
120 Alan/Ricardo/Sammia/Richard/Mr. Peters/That stupid fucking Ricardo/Stupid fucking Ricardo/trusty Alan
115 Jay/Jake/Jake Peters
77 Jim/Hayden/beautiful Jim/Hayden Morris/Morris
68 Mr. Miles/Mr. Miles wo/Dear Mr. Miles/Mr. Miles the CEO/Mr Miles
47 Elliot
42 Claudia/Melina/Claudia Mason/Mason
70 sir/This man/my man/This woman/an asshole/baby/my girlfriend/my beautiful man/the hero/the most attractive woman I ’ve seen in a long time/Good girl/darling/an American businessman/the eldest son of media mogul George Miles Jr. and the grandson of George Miles Sr/the grandson of George Miles Sr/the former executive chairman of Publishing and Consolidated Media Holdings , which predominantly owns media interests across a range of platforms/the first woman I have been with in a long time who had no idea who I was/a god/this guy/the CEO/a businessman — successful and handsome/this man/a self - absorbed player who sleeps with whoever he wants , whenever he wants/the king of Twatsville/The man/Oh man/my only man/sweetheart/the man/that snarky bitch/woman/my woman/The CEO/the most delicious man on the planet/my God/the control freak/princess/this woman/the beautiful woman in my kitchen/babe/my Emily/the paper man/the CEO of a company/you idiot/this asshole/Fucking asshole/the fucking asshole/my friend/The man that Emily/You idiot
48 sir/The man/the man/a young man/the ticket man/Oh man/that man/a man sitting next to the window/you poor homeless person/the layover guy who never asked for my number/the fucking CEO/this asshole/The man at the desk/a man/a terrible liar/the CEO/that Uber guy/gorgeous man/the ultimate male specimen/boss man/dad/an older woman who looks like she is scolding her husband/the man who is looking at his phone/your driver/boss
33 someone/the last person I want to hurt
30 this man/This man/a man who ’s so dominant and commanding/baby/The man/This guy/the guy/his brother/a gorgeous man/Thieving bastard/The last man/the same man who runs Miles Media/The man with me/an excellent breakfast chef
29 anyone/anyone I know
28 my girl/babe/sweetheart/this man/darling/dear/This guy/This man/all of this man/sir/Your princess/a pure sweetheart/the MC/boss/My girl/a bad liar/man/my beautiful girl
27 dear/babe/baby/this bartender/This guy/the fucking president/the man who did n’t even want my number the last time we slept together/the man/the bastard/My friend/the one who sits next to me/That fucking asshole/you crazy bastard/the blond god/The blonde/the brunette gushes/sweetheart/bitch/darling
25 The waiter/the waiter/the only person he ’s sleeping with
24 nobody/Nobody
19 people/People
ORG
1 Miles Media
3 the company
1 the biggest conglomerate media empire in the United States
1 the best companies in the United States
1 no other media company
1 Publishing and Consolidated Media Holdings , which predominantly owns media interests across a range of platforms
1 the police department
1 the Red Ribbon Killer
1 a corporate investigation firm
1 the debating team
1 the corporate investigation team
VEH
1 the Kung Fu Panda
56 the car/The car/her car/my car/his parked car/the moving car/a car/an average car/a poser car/his car
20 the bus/The bus/a bus/that fucking bus
17 the limo/The limo
16 the plane/The plane
11 a car/car/this car/This car
7 the truck
6 a cab
4 the limousine/the limo
4 the cab/a cab/The cab
4 the pickup/the huge , beat - up light - blue truck
Text
Chapter 1 “ Can [you]2281-you move ? ”[2959-i] a voice behind [me]2959-i growls . Startled , [I]2959-i turn toward [the man behind [me]2959-i]243-the man behind me in the line . “ [I]2959-i ’m sorry ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say in a fluster . “ Did [you]2281-you want to get past ? ”[2959-i] “ No . [I]243-the man behind me want these fucking idiots at the desk to hurry up . [I]243-the man behind me ’m going to miss [[my]243-the man behind me damn plane]2282-my damn plane . ”[243-the man behind me] [He]243-the man behind me sneers , and [I]2959-i smell the alcohol wafting off [him]243-the man behind me . “ [They]244-they make [me]243-the man behind me sick . ”[243-the man behind me] [I]2959-i turn back to the front . Great , a drunk in the check - in line . Just what [I]2959-i need . [Heathrow Airport]1-heathrow airport is bustling . Bad weather has delayed most of the flights , and to be honest , [I]2959-i wish [they]244-they would delay [mine]2959-i . Then [I]2959-i could turn around and go back to [the hotel]245-the hotel and sleep for a week . [I]2959-i am not in the mood for this shit . [I]2959-i hear [the man]246-alan turn and complain to [the people behind [him]246-alan]247-the people behind him , and [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . Why are [people]248-people so damn rude ? For another ten minutes , [I]2959-i listen to [him]246-alan bitch , sigh , and moan until [I]2959-i can take it no longer . [I]2959-i turn to [him]246-alan . “ [They]248-people are working as fast as [they]248-people can . There ’s no need to be rude , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ What ? ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan yells as [he]246-alan turns [his]246-alan anger on [me]2959-i . “ Manners are free , ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i mutter under [my]2959-i breath . “ Manners are free ? ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan cries . “ What are [you]246-alan , [a schoolteacher]2283-a schoolteacher ? Or just [a raving bitch]2284-a raving bitch ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i glare at [him]246-alan . Oh , [I]2959-i dare all right . [I]2959-i ’ve just spent the last forty - eight hours in hell . [I]2959-i flew across [the world]249-the world to go to a wedding , only to watch [[my]2959-i ex - boyfriend]250-his new girlfriend drape [himself]246-alan over [[his]246-alan new girlfriend]250-his new girlfriend . [I]2959-i ’m in the mood to cut [somebody]251-somebody today . Do n’t mess with [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i turn back to the front as [my]2959-i fury begins to boil . [He]246-alan kicks [my]2959-i suitcase at [my]2959-i feet , and [I]2959-i turn . “ Stop it , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . [He]246-alan gets right up in [my]2959-i face , and [I]2959-i wince at the smell of [his]246-alan breath . “ [I]2959-i ’ll do whatever [I]2959-i fucking like . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i see security come through [the lounge]252-the lounge as [they]253-the staff watch [him]246-alan . [The staff]253-the staff have seen what ’s going on here and called for backup . [I]2959-i fake a smile . “ Please do n’t kick [my]2959-i bag , [sir]246-alan , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say sweetly . “ [I]246-alan ’ll kick whatever [I]246-alan fucking like . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan picks up [my]2959-i suitcase and throws it across [the airport]254-the airport . “ What the hell ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i screech . “ Hey , ”[2959-i] [the man behind [us]256-us]255-the man behind us cries . “ Do n’t touch [her]255-the man behind us stuff . Security ! ”[255-the man behind us] [he]255-the man behind us says . [Mr. Drunk]51-mr. drunk and [Disorderly]52-disorderly throws a punch at [[my]2959-i savior]257-my savior , and a scuffle breaks out . Security comes running in from everywhere , and [I]2959-i am pushed back as [he]255-the man behind us throws punches and screams obscenities . Oh hell , [I]2959-i do not need this today . Eventually [they]258-they get [him]255-the man behind us under control , and [he]255-the man behind us is taken away in handcuffs . [The kind security guard]259-the kind security guard picks up [my]2959-i bag . “ Sorry about that , ”[255-the man behind us] [he]255-the man behind us apologizes . “ Come with [me]255-the man behind us , ”[255-the man behind us] [he]255-the man behind us says as [he]255-the man behind us unhooks the rope on the line . “ Thank [you]255-the man behind us . ”[255-the man behind us] [I]2959-i smile awkwardly at [everyone else in the line]260-everyone else in the line . [I]2959-i hate jumping [the queue]261-the queue , but at this point , [I]2959-i just do n’t care . “ Great . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sheepishly follow [him]255-the man behind us , and [he]255-the man behind us takes [me]2959-i to [a young man]246-alan ’s counter . [He]255-the man behind us looks up and smiles broadly . “ Hello . ”[255-the man behind us] “ Hi . ”[255-the man behind us] “ Are [you]255-the man behind us okay ? ”[255-the man behind us] [he]255-the man behind us asks . “ Yes , [I]255-the man behind us ’m fine . Thank [you]255-the man behind us for asking . ”[255-the man behind us] “ Look after [her]255-the man behind us , ”[263-the security guard] [the security guard]263-the security guard tells [the ticket man]246-alan , and [he]255-the man behind us gives [us]264-us both a wink and disappears through [the crowd]265-the crowd . “ Identification , please ? ”[246-alan] [the man]246-alan asks . [I]2959-i scramble through [my]2959-i purse and dig out [my]2959-i passport and pass it over ; [he]255-the man behind us smiles as [he]255-the man behind us looks at the photo . [Oh man]246-alan , that ’s the worst photo in all of history . “ Did [you]246-alan see [me]2959-i on Most Wanted ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ Possibly . That photo : Is it even [you]246-alan ? ”[255-the man behind us] [He]255-the man behind us laughs . [I]2959-i smile , embarrassed . “ [I]255-the man behind us hope not . [I]255-the man behind us ’m in trouble if it is . ”[255-the man behind us] [He]255-the man behind us types in [my]2959-i details . “ Okay , so [we]2285-we have [you]246-alan flying to [New York]385-new york today with a . . . ”[255-the man behind us] [He]255-the man behind us stops typing and reads . “ Uh - huh . Preferably not next to [that man]246-alan . ”[255-the man behind us] “ [He]255-the man behind us wo n’t be going anywhere today , ”[255-the man behind us] [he]255-the man behind us replies as [he]255-the man behind us continues to type at a ridiculous speed . “ Other than the lockup . ”[255-the man behind us] “ Why would [you]246-alan get drunk before coming to [the airport]254-the airport ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ [He]255-the man behind us has n’t even been inside to [the airport bars]2287-the airport bars yet . ”[2959-i] “ [You]246-alan would be surprised by what goes on around here , ”[255-the man behind us] [he]255-the man behind us sighs . [I]2959-i smile ; [this guy]266-jim is nice . [He]255-the man behind us prints off [my]2959-i tickets . “ [I]255-the man behind us ’ve upgraded [you]255-the man behind us . ”[255-the man behind us] “ What ? ”[255-the man behind us] “ First class , as an apology for [him]255-the man behind us mishandling [your]255-the man behind us bag . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes widen . “ Oh , that ’s not necessary . . . really , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . [He]255-the man behind us hands the tickets over and smiles broadly . “ Enjoy [your]255-the man behind us flight . ”[255-the man behind us] “ Thank [you]255-the man behind us so much , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i gush . [He]255-the man behind us gives [me]2959-i a wink , and [I]2959-i could just reach over and hug [him]255-the man behind us . But of course [I]2959-i wo n’t . [I]2959-i ’ll pretend that cool things like this happen to [me]2959-i every day . “ Thanks again . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ [You]255-the man behind us have access to [the VIP lounge]270-the house , which is located on level one . Lunch and drinks are on [the house]270-the house in there . Have a safe flight . ”[2959-i] With one last smile , [he]255-the man behind us looks back to the line . “ Next , please . ”[255-the man behind us] [I]2959-i walk through the baggage checks with a huge goofy grin on [my]2959-i face . First class — just what [the doctor]267-the doctor ordered . Three hours later , [I]2959-i walk onto [the plane]268-the plane like [a rock star]269-a rock star . [I]2959-i did n’t end up going into [the VIP lounge]270-the house because , well . . . [I]2959-i look like crap . [My]2959-i long dark hair is up in a high ponytail , and [I]2959-i ’m wearing black leggings , a baggy pink sweater , and tennis shoes , but [I]2959-i did fix [my]2959-i makeup a little , so that ’s something . If [I]2959-i had known [I]2959-i was going to be upgraded , [I]2959-i would have at least tried to look the part and worn something swanky instead of looking like [a homeless person]271-a homeless person . But anyway . . . who cares ? It ’s not like [I]2959-i ’m going to see [[anyone]272-anyone [I]2959-i know]272-anyone . [I]2959-i hand [my]2959-i ticket over to [the flight attendant]273-the flight attendant . “ Just through [the left aisle]2288-the left aisle and to the right . ”[2959-i] “ Thanks . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look at [my]2959-i ticket and walk through [the plane]268-the plane and see [my]2959-i number . 1B. Damn it , [I]2959-i do n’t have a window . [I]2959-i get to [my]2959-i seat , and [a man sitting next to the window]246-alan turns to [me]2959-i . Big blue eyes greet [me]2959-i , and [he]246-alan smiles . “ Hello . ”[246-alan] “ Hi , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say . Oh no . . . [I]2959-i ’m sitting next to [God]0-aaron ’s gift to [women]276-women . . . only [he]246-alan ’s hotter . [I]2959-i look like shit . Fuck it . [I]2959-i open the overhead , and [he]246-alan stands . “ Here , let [me]246-alan . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan takes [my]2959-i bag from [me]2959-i and carefully places it up . [He]246-alan ’s tall and built and wearing blue jeans and a white T - shirt ; [he]246-alan smells like the best aftershave in history . “ Thanks , ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i murmur as [I]2959-i pull [my]2959-i hand through [my]2959-i ponytail , trying to smooth out the knots . [I]2959-i mentally kick [myself]2959-i for not wearing something better . “ Do [you]246-alan want the window seat ? ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan asks . [I]2959-i stare at [him]246-alan as [my]2959-i brain misfires . [He]246-alan gestures to the seat beside the window . “ [You]246-alan do n’t mind ? ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i frown . “ Not at all . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan smiles . “ [I]2959-i fly all the time . [You]246-alan can have it . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i force a smile . “ Thanks . ”[2959-i] That was code for “ [I]2959-i know [you]246-alan got upgraded , [[you]246-alan poor homeless person]246-alan , and [I]2959-i feel sorry for [you]246-alan . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sit down in [my]2959-i seat and look nervously out the window , with [my]2959-i hands clasped in front of [me]2959-i on [my]2959-i lap . “ Are [you]246-alan going [home]2289-home ? ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan asks . [I]2959-i turn to [him]246-alan . Oh , please do n’t talk to [me]2959-i . [You]277-i make [me]2959-i nervous just sitting there . “ No , [I]277-i ’ve been at a wedding , and [I]277-i have a job interview in [New York]385-new york on the way [home]2289-home . [I]277-i ’m only there for the day , and then [I]277-i fly out again to [LA]3-la . [I]277-i live there . ”[277-i] “ Ah . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan smiles . “ [I]246-alan see . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i stare at [him]246-alan for a moment ; [I]2959-i should ask [him]246-alan a question now . “ Are . . . [you]279-you going [home]2289-home ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say . “ Yes . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i nod , unsure what to say next , so [I]2959-i choose the lame option and stare back out the window . [The attendant]273-the flight attendant walks around with a bottle of champagne and glasses . Glasses . Since when do airlines give [you]279-you a real glass ? Oh right , first class . [I]2959-i knew that . “ Would [you]279-you like some champagne to take off with , [sir]246-alan ? ”[246-alan] [the flight attendant]273-the flight attendant asks [him]246-alan . [I]2959-i notice that [her]273-the flight attendant name tag says [JESSICA]54-jessica . “ That would be lovely . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan smiles and turns to [me]2959-i . “ Make that two , please . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown as [she]273-the flight attendant pours two glasses of champagne and passes one to [him]246-alan and one to [me]2959-i . “ Thank [you]279-you . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . [I]2959-i wait for [Jessica]54-jessica to move out of earshot . “ Do [you]279-you always order drinks for [other people]2290-other people ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . [He]246-alan looks surprised by [my]2959-i statement . “ Did it bother [you]279-you ? ”[246-alan] “ Not at all , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i huff . Damn this [Mr. Fancy Pants]55-mr. fancy pants for thinking [he]55-mr. fancy pants can order for [me]2959-i . “ [I]55-mr. fancy pants do like to order [my]55-mr. fancy pants own drinks , though . ”[55-mr. fancy pants] [He]55-mr. fancy pants smiles . “ Well , [you]279-you can order the next ones , then . ”[55-mr. fancy pants] [He]55-mr. fancy pants raises [his]55-mr. fancy pants glass to [me]2959-i and smirks ; then [he]55-mr. fancy pants takes a sip . [He]55-mr. fancy pants seems amused by [my]2959-i annoyance . [I]2959-i stare at [him]55-mr. fancy pants deadpan . This could be victim number two of [my]2959-i cutting today . [I]2959-i am not in the mood for [some rich old bastard]280-some rich old bastard to boss [me]2959-i around . [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i champagne as [I]2959-i look out the window . Well , [he]55-mr. fancy pants ’s not really old . Maybe mid- to late thirties . [I]2959-i mean , old compared to [me]2959-i ; [I]2959-i ’m twenty - five . But whatever . “ [I]55-mr. fancy pants ’m [Jim]266-jim , ”[55-mr. fancy pants] [he]55-mr. fancy pants says as [he]55-mr. fancy pants holds [his]55-mr. fancy pants hand out to shake [mine]2959-i . Oh God , now [I]2959-i have to be polite . [I]2959-i shake [his]55-mr. fancy pants hand . “ Hi , [Jim]266-jim . [I]55-mr. fancy pants ’m [Emily]186-jameson . ”[55-mr. fancy pants] [His]55-mr. fancy pants eyes dance with mischief . “ Hello , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[55-mr. fancy pants] [His]55-mr. fancy pants eyes are big , bright blue , and dreamy , the kind [I]2959-i could get lost in . But why is [he]55-mr. fancy pants looking at [me]2959-i like that ? [The plane]268-the plane begins to travel slowly down [the runway]282-the runway , and [I]2959-i look between the earphones and armrest . Where do these plug in ? [They]283-the kind that overconfident youtubers ’re high tech , [the kind that overconfident YouTubers]283-the kind that overconfident youtubers use . [They]283-the kind that overconfident youtubers do n’t even have a cord . [I]2959-i look around . Well , this is stupid . How do [I]2959-i plug them in ? “ [They]283-the kind that overconfident youtubers ’re Bluetooth , ”[266-jim] [Jim]266-jim interrupts [me]2959-i . “ Oh , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i mutter , feeling stupid . Of course [they]283-the kind that overconfident youtubers are . “ Right . ”[2959-i] “ [You]2291-you have n’t flown first class before ? ”[55-mr. fancy pants] [he]55-mr. fancy pants asks . “ No . [I]2959-i got an upgrade . [Some weirdo]2292-some weirdo threw [my]2959-i bag across [the airport]254-the airport when [he]55-mr. fancy pants was drunk . [I]2959-i think [the guy at the desk]55-mr. fancy pants felt sorry for [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i give [him]55-mr. fancy pants a lopsided smile . [He]55-mr. fancy pants rolls [his]55-mr. fancy pants lips as if amused and sips [his]55-mr. fancy pants champagne ; [his]55-mr. fancy pants eyes linger on [my]2959-i face as if [he]55-mr. fancy pants has something on [his]55-mr. fancy pants mind . “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ Perhaps [the guy at the desk]55-mr. fancy pants thought [you]55-mr. fancy pants were gorgeous and upgraded [you]55-mr. fancy pants to try to impress [you]55-mr. fancy pants . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i had n’t thought of that . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i champagne as [I]2959-i try to hide [my]2959-i smile . That ’s an odd thing to say . “ Is that what [you]55-mr. fancy pants would do ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ If [you]55-mr. fancy pants were at the desk , would [you]55-mr. fancy pants upgrade [women]276-women to impress [them]276-women ? ”[2959-i] “ Absolutely . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk . “ Impressing [a woman [you]55-mr. fancy pants ’re attracted to is crucial]2295-a woman you ’re attracted to is crucial , ”[55-mr. fancy pants] [he]55-mr. fancy pants continues . [I]2959-i stare at [him]55-mr. fancy pants as [I]2959-i try to get [my]2959-i brain to keep up with the conversation . Why does that statement sound flirty ? “ And do tell . . . how would [you]55-mr. fancy pants impress [a woman [you]55-mr. fancy pants ’re attracted to]2295-a woman you ’re attracted to is crucial ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask , fascinated . [His]55-mr. fancy pants eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ Offer [her]2295-a woman you ’re attracted to is crucial a window seat . ”[55-mr. fancy pants] The air crackles between [us]284-us , and [I]2959-i bite [my]2959-i lip to hide [my]2959-i goofy smile . “ [You]55-mr. fancy pants ’re trying to impress [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . [He]55-mr. fancy pants gives [me]2959-i a slow , sexy smile . “ How am [I]55-mr. fancy pants doing ? ”[55-mr. fancy pants] [I]2959-i smirk , unsure what to say . “ [I]2959-i ’m simply saying that [you]55-mr. fancy pants ’re attractive , nothing more and nothing less . Do n’t read into it . It was a statement , not a question . ”[2959-i] “ Oh . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [him]55-mr. fancy pants , lost for words . What do [I]2959-i even say to that ? Statement , not a question . . . huh ? Do n’t read into it . [This guy]266-jim is weird . . . and utterly gorgeous . [The plane]268-the plane begins to take off with speed , and [I]2959-i hold on to [my]2959-i armrests and scrunch [my]2959-i eyes shut . “ [You]55-mr. fancy pants do n’t like takeoffs ? ”[55-mr. fancy pants] [he]55-mr. fancy pants asks . “ Do [I]2959-i look like [I]2959-i like takeoffs ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i wince as [I]2959-i hang on for dear life . “ [I]55-mr. fancy pants love [them]2296-them , ”[55-mr. fancy pants] [he]55-mr. fancy pants replies casually . “ [I]55-mr. fancy pants love the feeling of power as it surges forward . That g - force throwback . ”[55-mr. fancy pants] Okay . . . why is everything coming out of [his]55-mr. fancy pants mouth sounding sexual ? [God]0-aaron , [I]2959-i need to get laid . . . stat . [I]2959-i exhale and stare out the window as [we]287-we go higher and higher . [I]2959-i do n’t have the energy for [this guy]266-jim to play cute today . [I]2959-i ’m tired , [I]2959-i ’m hungover , [I]2959-i look crappy , and [[my]2959-i ex]289-my ex is a douche . [I]2959-i want to go to sleep and wake up next year . [I]2959-i decide [I]2959-i ’ll watch a movie . [I]2959-i begin to flick through the choices on the screen in front of [me]2959-i . [He]55-mr. fancy pants leans over and says , “ Great minds think alike . [I]55-mr. fancy pants ’m watching a movie too . ”[55-mr. fancy pants] [I]2959-i fake a smile . Just stop being all hot and in [my]2959-i space . [You]290-you ’re probably married to [a vegan yoga nut who does meditation and shit]291-a vegan yoga nut who does meditation and shit . “ Great , ”[290-you] [I]2959-i mutter deadpan . [I]2959-i should have flown [coach]292-coach ; at least [I]2959-i would n’t have had to inhale the scent of [beautiful man]293-beautiful man for eight long , sexless hours . [I]2959-i scroll through [my]2959-i screen and then narrow it down to [my]2959-i choices . How to Lose [a Guy]294-a guy in 10 Days . Pride and Prejudice . The Heat . [Jumanji]58-jumanji . . . well , that has the Rock in it — it has to be good . Notting Hill . The Proposal . 50 First Dates . [Bridget Jones]59-bridget jones ’s Diary . [Pretty Woman]295-pretty woman . Sleepless in [Seattle]4-seattle . [Magic Mike XXL]60-michael . [I]2959-i smile at the choices , all of [my]2959-i favorites lined in a row ; this flight is going to be a dream . [I]2959-i have n’t seen the sequel to [Magic Mike]60-michael yet , so [I]2959-i might start with that one . [I]2959-i glance over to look at what [Jim]266-jim has picked , and [I]2959-i see the heading come up . Lincoln . Ugh . . . a political movie . Who watches that stuff for fun ? [I]2959-i should have known [he]266-jim ’d be boring . [He]266-jim reaches up and taps the screen , and [I]2959-i catch sight of [his]266-jim watch . A chunky silver Rolex . [Ugh]61-ugh , and [he]266-jim has money too . Typical . “ What are [you]296-you going to watch ? ”[266-jim] [he]266-jim asks . Oh no . . . [I]2959-i do n’t want to appear ditzy . “ [I]2959-i ’m not sure yet , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply . Damn [you]296-you . . . [I]2959-i want to watch [men strip]297-men strip . “ What are [you]296-you watching ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ [Lincoln]62-lincoln . [I]2959-i ’ve been meaning to see it for a long time . ”[2959-i] “ Sounds boring , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say . [He]266-jim smiles at [my]2959-i answer . “ [I]266-jim ’ll let [you]296-you know . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim puts [his]266-jim earphones on and begins to watch [his]266-jim movie , and [I]2959-i scroll through [my]2959-i choices again . [I]2959-i really want to watch [Magic Mike XXL]60-michael . Does it matter if [he]266-jim sees ? No . . . that ’s just embarrassing . It makes [me]2959-i look desperate . Who am [I]2959-i kidding ? [I]2959-i am desperate . [I]2959-i have n’t seen a dick in over a year . [I]2959-i tap on The Proposal . [I]2959-i ’ll swap one fantasy for another . [I]2959-i ’ve always dreamed of having [Ryan Reynolds]63-ryan reynolds as [[my]2959-i personal assistant]63-ryan reynolds . The movie begins , and [I]2959-i smile at the screen . [I]2959-i love this movie . No matter how many times [I]2959-i watch it , [I]2959-i always laugh . [Gammy]64-gammy is [my]2959-i favorite . “ [You]2959-i ’re watching a romance ? ”[266-jim] [he]266-jim asks . “ A rom - com , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply . For [God]0-aaron ’s sake , [this guy]266-jim is nosy . [He]266-jim smirks as if [he]266-jim ’s better than [me]2959-i . “ More champagne ? ”[273-the flight attendant] [the flight attendant]273-the flight attendant asks . Blue Eyes looks over at [me]2959-i . “ Here ’s [your]2959-i chance to order for [us]2297-us . ”[266-jim] [I]2959-i stare at [him]266-jim flatly ; all right , [he]266-jim ’s beginning to piss [me]2959-i off now . “ [We]2297-us ’ll have two , please . ”[266-jim] “ What do [you]2959-i like about rom - coms ? ”[266-jim] [he]266-jim asks as [he]266-jim keeps [his]266-jim eyes on the screen in front of [him]266-jim . “ Men who do n’t talk during movies , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper into [my]2959-i champagne glass . [He]266-jim smiles broadly to [himself]266-jim . “ What do [you]2959-i like about . . . ”[266-jim] [I]2959-i pause because [I]2959-i do n’t even know what [Lincoln]62-lincoln is about . “ Political films ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ The fact that [they]2298-they ’re boring as all hell ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i just like true stories , regardless of what [they]2298-they are . ”[2959-i] “ So do [I]2959-i , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply . “ That ’s why [I]266-jim like romance . Love is true . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim chuckles into [his]266-jim glass as if amused . [I]2959-i glance over at [him]266-jim . “ What does that mean ? ”[2959-i] “ Rom - coms are as far from reality as [you]2959-i can get . [I]2959-i bet [you]2959-i ’re [the type who reads trashy romance novels too]266-jim . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [him]266-jim flatly . [I]2959-i think [I]2959-i hate [this man]266-jim . “ [I]2959-i am , actually . . . and if [you]2959-i must know , [I]2959-i ’m watching [Magic Mike XXL]60-michael after this so [I]2959-i can watch [gorgeous men]2299-gorgeous men take [their]2299-gorgeous men clothes off . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i champagne in annoyance . “ And [I]266-jim ’ll smile through the whole damn thing , regardless of [your]266-jim snooty judgment . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim laughs out loud , and it ’s deep and strong and does things to [my]2959-i stomach . [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i headphones back on and pretend to focus on [my]2959-i screen . [I]2959-i ca n’t , though , because [I]2959-i just totally embarrassed [myself]2959-i , and [I]2959-i can feel [myself]2959-i blushing . Stop talking . Two hours later , [I]2959-i sit and stare out the window . [My]2959-i movie is over , but [his]266-jim scent is not . It ’s surrounding [me]2959-i , taunting [me]2959-i with things that [I]2959-i should n’t be thinking about . How does [he]266-jim smell so good ? Unsure what to do without seeming awkward , [I]2959-i decide [I]2959-i ’ll take a nap , try to sleep through the next few hours , but first [I]2959-i need to go to [the bathroom]300-the bathroom . [I]2959-i stand . “ Excuse [me]266-jim . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim moves [his]266-jim legs a little but not enough for [me]2959-i to fit through , and [I]2959-i have to lean over [him]266-jim to get past . [I]2959-i stumble and fall and put [my]2959-i hand on [his]266-jim thigh ; it ’s large and hard to [my]2959-i touch . “ [I]2959-i ’m so sorry , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer , embarrassed . “ That ’s fine . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim smirks up at [me]2959-i . “ More than fine . ”[266-jim] [I]2959-i stare at [him]266-jim for a moment . Huh ? “ There ’s a method to [my]2959-i madness . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . What does that mean ? [I]2959-i make [my]2959-i way past [him]266-jim and go to [the bathroom]300-the bathroom , and then [I]2959-i walk around and stretch [my]2959-i legs a little as [I]2959-i ponder that statement . [I]2959-i ’m stumped — [I’ve]65-i’ve got nothing . “ What did [you]2959-i mean by that ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask as [I]2959-i fall back into [my]2959-i seat . “ Nothing . ”[2959-i] “ Did [you]2959-i give [me]266-jim the window seat so [I]266-jim would have to climb over [you]2959-i ? ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim tilts [his]266-jim head to the side . “ No , [I]266-jim gave [you]2959-i the window seat because [you]2959-i wanted it . Climbing over [me]266-jim was just an added bonus . ”[266-jim] [I]2959-i stare at [him]266-jim as [I]2959-i struggle to respond . Am [I]2959-i imagining this ? [Older rich guys]302-older rich guys do n’t usually speak to [me]2959-i like this . . . at all . “ Are [you]2959-i flirting with [me]2959-i , [Jim]266-jim ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . [He]266-jim gives [me]2959-i a slow , sexy smile . “ [I]266-jim do n’t know . Am [I]266-jim ? ”[266-jim] “ [I]266-jim asked [you]2959-i first , and do n’t answer [my]266-jim question with a question . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim smirks as [he]266-jim turns [his]266-jim attention back to the television screen . “ This is probably where [you]2959-i should start flirting back . . . [Emily]186-jameson . ”[266-jim] [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i cheeks flush with embarrassment as [I]2959-i try to hide [my]2959-i stupid smile . “ [I]2959-i do n’t flirt . [I]2959-i either want [a man]2300-a man or [I]2959-i do n’t , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i announce . “ Is that so ? ”[266-jim] [he]266-jim says as if fascinated . “ And how long after [you]2959-i meet [a man]2300-a man do [you]2959-i make that decision ? ”[266-jim] “ Instantaneously , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i lie . That ’s not true , but [I]2959-i ’ll pretend . Faking confidence is [my]2959-i superpower . “ Really ? ”[266-jim] [he]266-jim whispers as [the flight attendant]273-the flight attendant walks past [us]304-us . “ Excuse [me]266-jim , can [we]304-us have two more champagnes , please ? ”[266-jim] [he]266-jim asks [her]273-the flight attendant . “ Of course , [sir]266-jim . ”[266-jim] [His]266-jim eyes come back to meet [mine]266-jim . “ Well , do tell . What was [your]266-jim first impression of [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pretend to look around for [Jessica]54-jessica [the flight attendant]273-the flight attendant . “ [You]266-jim may need something stronger to drink to hear this , [Jim]266-jim . [You]266-jim ’re not going to like it . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim laughs out loud , and [I]2959-i find [myself]2959-i smiling broadly as [I]2959-i watch [him]266-jim . “ What ’s funny ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ [You]266-jim are . ”[2959-i] “ Why am [I]2959-i funny ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ This sense of righteousness that [you]266-jim have . ”[2959-i] “ Oh , like [you]266-jim do n’t have that too . . . Mr. [I]305-i ’ll Have Two Champagnes . ”[305-i] [Our]305-i drinks arrive , and [he]266-jim smiles as [he]266-jim passes [mine]2959-i to [me]2959-i . [His]266-jim eyes linger on [my]2959-i face as [he]266-jim takes a sip . “ What were [you]266-jim doing in [London]6-london ? ”[266-jim] “ Ugh . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . “ [I]2959-i flew over for [a friend]2302-a friend ’s wedding , and to be honest , [I]2959-i wish [I]2959-i had n’t gone . ”[2959-i] “ Why not ? ”[266-jim] “ [[My]266-jim ex]289-my ex was there with [his]289-my ex new squeeze , and [he]289-my ex was being over - the - top affectionate with [her]2302-a friend to piss [me]266-jim off . ”[266-jim] “ Which worked , obviously , ”[266-jim] [he]266-jim adds as [he]266-jim tilts [his]266-jim glass toward [me]2959-i . “ Hmm . ”[266-jim] [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i drink in disgust . “ Just a little . ”[266-jim] “ What did [she]2302-a friend look like ? ”[266-jim] “ Long bleached - blonde hair and huge silicone lips and boobs and eyelashes and fake tan and everything [I]266-jim ’m not . ”[266-jim] “ Hmm . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim listens intently . “ Like [Backseat Barbie]66-backseat barbie on crack . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim chuckles . “ [Everyone]2304-everyone loves [a Backseat Barbie]66-backseat barbie . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look over at [him]266-jim in disgust . “ This is probably where [you]2305-you should tell [me]2959-i that [all men]2306-all men hate [Backseat Barbies]67-backseat barbies , [Jim]266-jim . Do n’t [you]2305-you know anything about polite plane - conversation etiquette ? ”[2959-i] “ Obviously not . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim frowns as [he]266-jim considers [my]2959-i statement . “ Why would [I]266-jim do that ? ”[266-jim] [I]2959-i widen [my]2959-i eyes to accentuate [my]2959-i point . “ To be nice . ”[2959-i] “ Oh , right . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim frowns as if bracing [himself]266-jim to lie . “ [Emily]186-jameson . . . [all men]2306-all men are repulsed by [Backseat Barbies]67-backseat barbies . ”[266-jim] [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i tip [my]2959-i glass to [him]266-jim . “ Thank [you]266-jim , [Jim]266-jim . ”[2959-i] “ Although . . . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim pauses for a moment . “ If [they]2306-all men give good head . . . ”[266-jim] What the hell ? [I]2959-i snort [my]2959-i champagne up [my]2959-i nose and choke . That ’s the last thing [I]2959-i ever expected to hear come out of [his]266-jim mouth . “ [Jim]266-jim , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i splutter as it sprays everywhere . [He]266-jim laughs as [he]266-jim grabs [his]266-jim napkins and hands them over , and [I]2959-i wipe the drink dribbling from [my]2959-i chin . “ [Men who look like [you]2308-you are not supposed to talk about head]2307-men who look like you are not supposed to talk about head . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i cough . “ Why not ? ”[266-jim] [he]266-jim asks incredulously . “ And what do [you]2308-you mean , [men who look like [me]266-jim]2307-men who look like you are not supposed to talk about head ? ”[266-jim] “ All serious and stuff . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim looks at [me]2959-i deadpan . “ Define stuff . ”[266-jim] “ [You]2308-you know , older , rich , and bossy . ”[266-jim] [His]266-jim eyes dance with delight . “ And what gives [you]2308-you the impression that [I]2959-i ’m rich and bossy ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i exhale in an overexaggerated way . “ [You]2308-you look rich . ”[2959-i] “ How do [I]266-jim ? ”[266-jim] “ [Your]2308-you fancy watch . The cut of [your]2308-you shirt . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i glance down at [his]266-jim shoes . “ [I]2959-i ’ve never seen shoes like that before . Where did [you]2308-you even get those ? ”[2959-i] “ In [a shop]2309-a shop , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim looks at [his]266-jim watch . “ And [I]2959-i ’ll have [you]186-jameson know that this watch was a gift from [a girlfriend]2310-a girlfriend . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . “ [I]266-jim bet [she]2310-a girlfriend ’s a vegan yoga nut . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim smirks . “ [I]266-jim know [[your]266-jim type of woman]2311-your type of woman . ”[266-jim] “ Really . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim leans closer . “ Please go on — this character analysis is fascinating . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as a little voice from [my]2959-i subconscious screams , Stop drinking , [fool]306-fool ! “ [I]306-fool ’m assuming [you]186-jameson live in [New York]385-new york . ”[306-fool] “ Correct . ”[306-fool] “ In [an apartment]2312-an apartment . ”[306-fool] “ Affirmative . ”[306-fool] “ [You]186-jameson probably work at some ritzy company . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim smiles ; [he]266-jim likes this game . “ Perhaps . ”[266-jim] “ [You]186-jameson would have [a girlfriend]2310-a girlfriend or . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i glance down . “ [You]186-jameson do n’t wear a wedding ring . . . so perhaps [you]186-jameson cheat on [[your]186-jameson wife]2314-your wife when [you]186-jameson travel for work ? ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim chuckles . “ [You]186-jameson really should make a profession out of this . [I]2959-i ’m amazed at the accuracy . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i like this game too ; [I]2959-i smile broadly . “ What do [you]186-jameson think about [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ What was [your]186-jameson first impression when [I]2959-i walked onto [the plane]268-the plane ? ”[2959-i] “ Well . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim frowns as [he]266-jim considers the question . “ Do [you]186-jameson want the politically correct version ? ”[266-jim] “ No . [I]2959-i want the truth . ”[2959-i] “ Right . . . well , in that case , [I]2959-i noticed [your]186-jameson long legs and the curve of [your]186-jameson neck . The dimple in [your]186-jameson chin . [You]186-jameson are [the most attractive woman [I]2959-i ’ve seen in a long time]186-jameson , and when [you]186-jameson smiled , it brought [me]2959-i to [my]2959-i feet . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile softly as the air swirls between [us]307-us . “ And then [you]186-jameson spoke . . . and ruined everything . ”[2959-i] What ? [I]2959-i burst out laughing . “ [I]2959-i ruined everything ? How did [I]2959-i ruin everything ? ”[2959-i] “ [You]186-jameson ’re bossy , with a sarcastic snark . ”[2959-i] “ What ’s the problem with that ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer in outrage . “ Well , [I]2959-i ’m bossy and sarcastic . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i shrugs . “ And ? ”[2959-i] “ And [I]2959-i do n’t want to date [myself]2959-i . [I]2959-i like [sweet , demure girls]2316-sweet , demure girls , [the ones who do what [I]2959-i say]2317-the ones who do what i say . ”[2959-i] “ [Ugh]61-ugh . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . “ [The ones who clean [the house]270-the house and have sex on Saturdays]2317-the ones who do what i say . ”[2959-i] “ Precisely . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i laugh and hold [my]2959-i glass up to clink with [his]2959-i . “ [You]186-jameson ’re not bad for [a boring old guy with weird shoes]2319-a boring old guy with weird shoes . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i laughs . “ And [you]186-jameson ’re not bad for [a young , hot smart - ass]2319-a boring old guy with weird shoes . ”[2959-i] “ Do [you]186-jameson want to watch Magic Mike XXL with [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ [I]2959-i suppose , although [I]2959-i should let [you]186-jameson know . . . [I]2959-i am an ex - stripper [myself]2959-i , so this is nothing new for [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] “ Really ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i try to hide [my]2959-i smile . “ [You]186-jameson ’re good on a pole ? ”[2959-i] [His]2959-i eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ [My]2959-i pole work is the best in [the country]2320-the country . ”[2959-i] The air crackles between [us]308-us , and [I]2959-i have to concentrate on stopping [my]2959-i inebriated mouth from saying something slutty . [He]2959-i pushes the screen and taps through to [Magic Mike XXL]60-michael . . . and [I]2959-i smile broadly . [This man]56-robbie is so unexpected . [First class]310-first class is definitely the way to fly . Six hours later “ Okay , next question . The weirdest place [you]186-jameson ’ve ever had sex ? ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i whispers . [I]2959-i smirk . “ [You]186-jameson ca n’t ask [me]2959-i that . ”[2959-i] “ Yes , [I]56-robbie can . [I]56-robbie just did . ”[56-robbie] “ It ’s rude . ”[2959-i] “ Says who ? ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i looks around . “ It ’s just a question , and [nobody]2321-nobody is listening . ”[266-jim] [Jim]266-jim and [I]2959-i have talked and whispered and laughed [our]308-us way through the entire flight . “ Hmm . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i think out loud . “ That ’s [a tough one]2322-a tough one . ”[2959-i] “ Why ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i ’m on a bit of a drought at the moment . [I]2959-i can hardly remember any sex . ”[2959-i] “ How long ? ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i frowns . “ Oh . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look to the ceiling as [I]2959-i think . “ [I]2959-i have n’t had sex in like . . . eighteen months . ”[2959-i] [His]2959-i face falls in horror . “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ It ’s lame , is n’t it ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i wince . “ Very . [You]311-boy need to up [your]311-boy game . [They]2323-they ’re very bad statistics , indeed . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i know . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i giggle . [Boy]311-boy . . . [we]308-us ’re so tipsy . “ Why am [I]2959-i telling [you]311-boy all this stuff ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [You]311-boy ’re just [some random guy [I]2959-i met on [a plane]2325-a plane]2324-some random guy i met on a plane . ”[2959-i] “ Who happens to be very interested in the subject . ”[2959-i] “ Why is that ? ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i leans in and whispers to [me]2959-i so that the flight attendants ca n’t hear [us]308-us . “ [I]2959-i do n’t understand how [someone]2326-someone as hot as [you]311-boy does n’t get fucked three times a day . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [him]2959-i as [I]2959-i feel a tingle all the way to [my]2959-i toes . Stop it . [This guy]2959-i is too old for [me]2959-i and so not [my]2959-i type . [His]2959-i eyes drop to [my]2959-i lips , and the air between [us]308-us zaps with electricity . “ How long are [you]2327-you in [New York]385-new york ? ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i asks . [I]2959-i watch [his]2959-i tongue dart out and lick [his]2959-i bottom lip in slow motion . [I]2959-i can almost feel it between [my]2959-i . . . “ Just the afternoon . [I]2959-i have [my]2959-i interview at six tonight , and then [I]2959-i catch the last flight out , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Can [you]2327-you change [your]2327-you flight ? ”[2959-i] Why ? “ No . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i smirks as [he]2959-i watches [me]2959-i , and it ’s obvious [he]2959-i ’s imagining something . “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ [I]2959-i wish [we]2328-we were on a private jet . ”[2959-i] “ Why is that ? ”[2959-i] [His]2959-i eyes drop to [my]2959-i lips once more . “ Because [I]2959-i ’d break that drought of [yours]2329-yours and initiate [you]2329-yours into [the Miles - High Club]7-the miles - high club . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i get a visual of climbing on top of [him]2959-i , right here , right now . “ It ’s [Mile - High Club]8-mile - high club . . . not [Miles]68-miles media , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ No . . . it ’s [Miles]68-miles media . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i smirks as [his]2959-i eyes darken . “ Trust [me]2959-i — it ’s [Miles]68-miles media . ”[2959-i] Something inside [me]2959-i snaps , and suddenly [I]2959-i want to say something crazy and out of the ordinary . [I]2959-i lean forward and whisper in [his]2959-i ear , “ [You]2959-i know , [I]2959-i ’ve never fucked [a stranger]2330-a stranger before . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i inhales sharply as [his]2959-i eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ Do [you]2959-i want to fuck [a stranger]2330-a stranger ? ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i murmurs as arousal thrums between [us]312-us . [I]2959-i stare at [him]2959-i . This is so out of character for [me]2959-i . [This man]2959-i makes [me]2959-i . . . “ Do n’t be shy , ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i whispers . “ Tell [me]2959-i , if [we]312-us were alone right now . . . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i pauses as [he]2959-i chooses [his]2959-i words . “ What would [you]2959-i give [me]2959-i , [Emily]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes search [his]2959-i , and maybe it ’s the alcohol or the lack of sex or the fact that [I]2959-i know [I]2959-i ’ll never see [him]2959-i again . . . or perhaps [I]2959-i ’m just a total ho . “ [Me]2959-i , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i breathe . “ [I]2959-i would give [you]2959-i [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [Our]313-we eyes lock , and as if forgetting where [we]313-we are , [he]2959-i leans forward and cups [my]2959-i face in [his]2959-i hand . [His]2959-i eyes are so blue , and a wave of arousal sweeps through [me]2959-i at [his]2959-i touch . [I]2959-i want [this man]2959-i . [I]2959-i want [all of [this man]2959-i]2959-i . . . every last drop . “ Hot towel ? ”[54-jessica] [Jessica]54-jessica [the flight attendant]273-the flight attendant asks . [We]313-we jump back from each other , embarrassed . What must [they]313-we think of [us]313-we ? [They]313-we ’ve been watching [us]313-we flirt shamelessly for the entire trip . “ Thank [you]54-jessica , ”[313-we] [I]2959-i stammer as [I]2959-i take the towel from [her]54-jessica . “ There ’s a snowstorm in [New York]385-new york , and [we]313-we ’re going to circle for a while to see if [we]313-we can land , ”[54-jessica] [she]54-jessica says . “ What happens if [we]313-we ca n’t ? ”[266-jim] [Jim]266-jim asks . “ [We]313-we will fly on to [Boston]385-new york and have an emergency layover for the night . [You]2331-you will be accommodated in [a hotel]2332-a hotel , of course . [We]313-we ’ll know in the next ten minutes . [I]266-jim ’ll keep [you]2331-you updated . ”[266-jim] “ Thank [you]2331-you . ”[54-jessica] [She]54-jessica walks off to the other side of [the plane]268-the plane and out of earshot , and [Jim]266-jim leans over and whispers , “ [I]266-jim hope [New York]385-new york freezes the fuck over . ”[266-jim] Nerves dance in [my]2959-i stomach . “ Why is that ? ”[266-jim] “ [I]266-jim have plans for [us]2333-us , ”[266-jim] [he]266-jim whispers darkly . [I]2959-i stare at [him]266-jim as [my]2959-i brain misfires . [I]2959-i ’ve been prick teasing like a pro , but [I]2959-i ’m really [not that kind of girl]316-not that kind of girl . It ’s easy to be brave and slutty when there ’s no chance of anything happening . [I]2959-i begin to perspire . Why did [I]2959-i get so damn tipsy ? Why did [I]2959-i tell [him]266-jim about [my]2959-i drought ? That ’s supposed to be kept private , [fool]306-fool . “ Another drink ? ”[266-jim] [Jim]266-jim whispers . “ [I]266-jim can’t — [I]266-jim have a job interview this afternoon . ”[266-jim] “ That wo n’t be happening . ”[266-jim] “ Do n’t say that , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . “ [I]2959-i want this job . ”[2959-i] “ Good evening , [passengers]2334-passengers ; this is [the captain]2335-the captain speaking . ”[266-jim] A voice comes over the loudspeaker , and [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes . Shit . “ Due to a snowstorm in [New York]385-new york , [we]2336-we will be flying on to [Boston]385-new york tonight and staying there . [We]2336-we will return to [New York]385-new york early in the morning . Sorry for any inconvenience this has caused , but safety is [our]2336-we priority . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes meet [Jim]266-jim ’s , and [he]266-jim gives [me]2959-i a slow and sexy smile and raises [his]266-jim eyebrow . Oh no . Chapter 2 “ Do n’t look so excited . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim smirks . “ [Jim]266-jim . . . , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . Oh hell , how do [I]2959-i say this ? “ [I]2959-i ’m not really the kind of girl who . . . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i voice trails off . “ Who fucks on first dates ? ”[266-jim] [he]266-jim says , finishing [my]2959-i sentence . “ Yes . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i wince at the crudeness of that statement . “ [I]2959-i just do n’t want [you]2337-you to think . . . ”[2959-i] “ [I]266-jim know . [I]266-jim would n’t , ”[266-jim] [he]266-jim replies curtly . “ [I]266-jim do n’t . ”[266-jim] “ Good . ”[2959-i] Relief fills [me]2959-i . “ [I]266-jim was being flirty when [I]266-jim thought [we]2338-we were getting off and never seeing [each other]2339-each other again . ”[266-jim] “ Right . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim smirks in amusement . “ Not that [I]2959-i do n’t think [you]2337-you ’re great , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i add . “ Because if [I]2959-i were [that kind of girl]2340-that kind of girl , [I]2959-i would totally be into [you]2337-you . [We]2338-we would be fucking like . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pause as [I]2959-i try to think of an analogy . “ Rabbits ? ”[266-jim] [he]266-jim offers . “ Yes . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim holds both hands in the air . “ [I]266-jim understand ; [platonic humans]2341-platonic humans only . ”[266-jim] [I]2959-i smile broadly . “ [I]2959-i ’m so glad [you]2959-i understand . ”[2959-i] Seven hours later [He]266-jim slams [me]2959-i up against the wall as [he]266-jim struggles to pull [my]2959-i skirt up over [my]2959-i hips , and [his]266-jim open mouth ravages [my]2959-i neck . “ Door , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pant . “ Open the damn door . ”[2959-i] Oh God . . . [I]2959-i ’ve never felt this chemistry with [anyone]272-anyone before . [We]319-we ’ve laughed and danced and kissed [our]319-we way around [Boston]385-new york , and somehow [he]266-jim makes [me]2959-i feel at ease . It ’s as if [I]2959-i do this type of thing every day , and it ’s completely natural . The weird thing is , it feels right . The spontaneity of the situation [I]2959-i find [myself]2959-i in has [me]2959-i feeling all brave . [This man]266-jim is witty and funny and dirty as all hell , and in [my]2959-i opinion — which , in truth , could be totally screwed over with alcohol consumption at the moment — [he]266-jim ’s worth the risk . . . because [I]2959-i know [I]2959-i will never get the opportunity to be with [a man like [him]266-jim]320-a man like him again . [I]2959-i ’ve died and gone to [layover bad - girl heaven]321-layover bad - girl heaven . [Jim]266-jim fumbles with the key , and [we]319-we stumble into [[my]2959-i room]322-my room . Then [he]266-jim throws [me]2959-i onto the bed . [My]2959-i chest rises and falls as [we]319-we stare at each other , and the air between crackles with electricity . “ [I]2959-i ’m not [this kind of girl]2342-this kind of girl , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i remind [him]266-jim . “ [I]266-jim know , ”[266-jim] [he]266-jim breathes . “ [I]266-jim would n’t want to corrupt [you]266-jim . ”[266-jim] “ But there is a drought , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ So . . . so dry . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim raises [his]266-jim eyebrows as [he]266-jim pants along with [me]2959-i . “ This is true . ”[266-jim] [I]2959-i stare at [him]266-jim for a moment as [I]2959-i try to clear [my]2959-i arousal fog . [My]2959-i sex is throbbing and pleading for [his]266-jim body . “ It would be a shame to . . . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i voice trails off . “ [I]266-jim know . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim licks [his]266-jim lips in appreciation as [his]266-jim eyes roam over [my]2959-i body . “ Such a fucking shame . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim takes [his]266-jim shirt off over [his]266-jim shoulders , and [my]2959-i breath catches . [He]266-jim has a broad , muscular chest with olive skin and a scattering of hair that runs from [his]266-jim navel and disappears down into [his]266-jim pants . [His]266-jim hair is dark , and [his]266-jim eyes are a brilliant blue — but it ’s the power behind [them]323-them that has [me]2959-i aching for [him]266-jim to take [me]2959-i . There ’s an edge to [his]266-jim touch that [I]2959-i ’ve never felt before . [He]266-jim ’s all male and pure domination . There ’s no mistaking who ’s in charge here . Something about [this man]266-jim has opened up another side of [me]2959-i that [I]2959-i did n’t know existed . [I]2959-i know [he]266-jim could have [any woman in [the world]249-the world [he]266-jim wants]324-any woman in the world he wants . And at this moment , [he]266-jim wants [me]2959-i . There ’s no denying the chemistry between [us]326-us ; it ’s raw , honest , and all - consuming . [He]266-jim ’s hardly touched [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i already know that this night is special . Maybe fate has dealt [me]2959-i an ace for a change . With [his]266-jim eyes locked on [mine]2959-i and in slow motion , [he]266-jim unzips [his]266-jim pants and pulls [his]266-jim dick out . It ’s big and hard , and [my]2959-i chest rises and falls as [I]2959-i watch [him]266-jim . [My]2959-i heart is in overdrive . Is this really happening ? Oh . [My]2959-i . God . [He]266-jim begins to slowly stroke [himself]266-jim , and [my]2959-i mouth falls open as [I]2959-i stare , transfixed . [I]2959-i ’ve never had [a man]2300-a man touch [himself]2300-a man in front of [me]2959-i before . [Holy fucking shit]69-holy fucking shit . This is off the hook . [He]266-jim lifts one of [his]266-jim feet to the bed and really begins to let [himself]266-jim have it . The muscles in [his]266-jim shoulders and arms flex as [he]266-jim jerks [himself]266-jim hard , and [my]2959-i insides ripple in pleasure as [I]2959-i imagine it ’s [me]2959-i doing it for [him]266-jim . This is like reality porn . . . only ten times better . What the hell am [I]2959-i doing here ? [I]2959-i ’m [a good girl]328-a good girl , and [good girls]329-good girls do n’t do bad things with [men]330-men like this . [We]331-we do n’t know [the same people]332-the same people , [we]331-we do n’t live in [the same city]333-the same city , and [I]2959-i may never see [him]266-jim again , and there ’s an unexpected freedom in that . [I]2959-i can be different . Whoever [he]266-jim wants [me]2959-i to be . [His]266-jim eyes are locked on [mine]2959-i , and [his]266-jim jaw clenches . “ Get over here and suck [my]266-jim cock , [Emily]186-jameson , ”[266-jim] [he]266-jim murmurs darkly . [God]0-aaron , yes . [I]2959-i thought [he]266-jim ’d never ask . [I]2959-i scurry to [my]2959-i knees , desperate to please [him]266-jim . [I]2959-i do n’t know anything about [this guy]266-jim , but [I]2959-i do know that at this moment , [I]2959-i want to be the best sex [he]266-jim ’s ever had . [I]2959-i take [him]266-jim in [my]2959-i mouth as [I]2959-i pretend to be [the deep - throat champion of [the world]249-the world]334-the deep - throat champion of the world . [I]2959-i fist [him]266-jim hard as [my]2959-i hand follows [my]2959-i lips . It ’s been so long , and [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i sex clench , [my]2959-i orgasm close just from the taste of [his]266-jim preejaculate . “ Fuck . . . so good , ”[266-jim] [I]2959-i murmur around [him]266-jim . “ The taste of [you]266-jim is going to make [me]266-jim come . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim tips [his]266-jim head back to the sky and closes [his]266-jim eyes . “ Naked . [I]266-jim need [you]266-jim fucking naked , ”[266-jim] [he]266-jim growls with urgency . [He]266-jim drags [me]2959-i off the bed and in one moment has [my]2959-i skirt and panties on the floor . [He]266-jim pulls [my]2959-i shirt off over [my]2959-i head and throws [my]2959-i bra to the side . Then [he]266-jim stops still . . . and in slow motion , with [his]266-jim hands clenched by [his]266-jim sides , [his]266-jim eyes drop down [my]2959-i body . [He]266-jim drinks [me]2959-i in , and [I]2959-i feel the heat as [his]266-jim gaze skims [my]2959-i skin . [My]2959-i world stops spinning , and [I]2959-i stand before [him]266-jim naked and vulnerable , waiting for [his]266-jim approval . This is new for [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i ’ve never been with [a man who ’s so dominant and commanding]56-robbie . [His]56-robbie eyes , [his]56-robbie voice , [his]56-robbie every touch reminds [me]2959-i of who [I]2959-i am with and how much [his]56-robbie pleasure means to [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i feel like [I]2959-i want to rise to the challenge , and the primal urge to satisfy [him]56-robbie is taking [me]2959-i over . When [his]56-robbie eyes meet [mine]2959-i again , they ’re blazing with desire . An undercurrent of darkness and tenderness runs between [us]337-us . Perhaps [I]2959-i ’ve forgotten how [a man]2300-a man looks at [a woman]339-a woman when every ounce of [his]2300-a man being wants [her]339-a woman . Because [I]2959-i swear to [God]0-aaron , [I]2959-i ’ve never seen this look before in [my]2959-i life . “ On [your]0-aaron back , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie murmurs . [My]2959-i face falls in fear . [He]56-robbie takes [me]2959-i in [his]56-robbie arms and kisses [me]2959-i deeply as [he]56-robbie holds [my]2959-i face in [his]56-robbie hands . “ What is it ? ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie breathes . “ It ’s . . . it ’s been a long time , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pant . “ [I]56-robbie ’ll take care of [you]56-robbie , [baby]56-robbie , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie whispers softly , which eases [my]2959-i fears . [His]56-robbie mouth takes [mine]2959-i , [his]56-robbie tongue slowly sliding through [my]2959-i open lips with just the right amount of suction . [My]2959-i knees nearly buckle underneath [me]2959-i . [He]56-robbie lays [me]2959-i down and spreads [my]2959-i legs and smiles darkly as [he]56-robbie kisses [his]56-robbie way down [my]2959-i body . [I]2959-i stare at the ceiling as [I]2959-i try to control [my]2959-i erratic breathing ; no amount of alcohol could have prepared [me]2959-i for this . [He]56-robbie lifts [my]2959-i legs and puts [my]2959-i feet onto [his]56-robbie strong shoulders and then drops [my]2959-i knees wide . [I]2959-i am completely open for [him]56-robbie , and [he]56-robbie takes [me]2959-i with no reservations and sucks hard . [I]2959-i buck off the bed . “ Ah ! ”[56-robbie] [I]2959-i cry . But [he]56-robbie gives [me]2959-i no mercy as [he]56-robbie drives three of [his]56-robbie thick fingers into [my]2959-i sex and begins to pump [me]2959-i hard . Shit . . . ca n’t [we]340-we ease into it , at least ? [His]56-robbie tongue is on [my]2959-i clitoris , and [his]56-robbie fingers are on [my]2959-i G - spot . What the actual hell is going on here ? [My]2959-i body begins to quiver like a puppet . . . [his]56-robbie puppet . [The man]56-robbie ’s [a god]341-a god . [My]2959-i legs lift off [his]56-robbie shoulders by [themselves]342-themselves , and [I]2959-i convulse as a freight train of an orgasm rips through [me]2959-i . That took approximately five seconds . Oh hell . How embarrassing . Way to act cool . [He]56-robbie chuckles as if [he]56-robbie ’s proud , and [I]2959-i throw the back of [my]2959-i forearm over [my]2959-i eyes to hide [my]2959-i face in shame . [He]56-robbie pulls [my]2959-i arm away and takes [my]2959-i jaw in [his]56-robbie hand and drags [my]2959-i face back to [his]56-robbie . “ Do n’t hide from [me]56-robbie , [Emily]186-jameson . Not ever , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie commands . [My]2959-i eyes search [his]56-robbie . This is too full on . . . too much . [This guy]56-robbie is too intense . “ Answer [me]56-robbie . ”[56-robbie] “ What do [you]186-jameson want [me]2959-i to say ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Say yes so that [I]2959-i know [you]186-jameson understand . ”[2959-i] The air crackles between [us]343-us . “ Yes , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i breathe . “ [I]2959-i understand . ”[2959-i] “ [Good girl]186-jameson , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie whispers as [he]56-robbie leans in and kisses [me]2959-i again . [His]56-robbie tongue is soft stroking perfection , and [my]2959-i legs open by [themselves]344-themselves once more . [He]56-robbie gets up and takes four condoms from [his]56-robbie wallet , opens one , and hands it to [me]2959-i . “ Put it on [me]56-robbie . ”[56-robbie] [I]2959-i take it from [him]56-robbie and bend to kiss [him]56-robbie softly on [his]56-robbie dick before [I]2959-i roll the condom on . “ [You]56-robbie ’re very bossy . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk . [He]56-robbie smiles broadly as [he]56-robbie falls onto [his]56-robbie back , pulls [me]2959-i over [him]56-robbie , and drags [my]2959-i face to [his]56-robbie . “ [You]56-robbie ’ll fuck [me]56-robbie first , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie murmurs against [my]2959-i lips , “ and then [I]56-robbie ’ll fuck [you]56-robbie when [you]56-robbie ’re warmed up . ”[56-robbie] [I]2959-i smile against [his]56-robbie mouth . “ [I]56-robbie only fuck once , [big boy]2343-big boy , and then [I]56-robbie fall asleep . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie gives [me]2959-i a slow , sexy smile . [I]2959-i straddle [his]56-robbie large body as [our]345-our kisses become desperate . [His]56-robbie thick cock is up against [his]56-robbie stomach , and [he]56-robbie holds it in the air and guides [my]2959-i hips down over [him]56-robbie . Oh , the burn — [he]56-robbie ’s big . “ Ow , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whimper . “ It ’s okay , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie whispers . “ Wiggle from side to side . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie cups [my]2959-i breasts in [his]56-robbie hands as [he]56-robbie stares up at [me]2959-i in what seems like awe . [I]2959-i smile down at [him]56-robbie . “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ From the moment [I]2959-i saw [you]56-robbie on [the plane]268-the plane today , [I]2959-i wanted [you]56-robbie riding [my]2959-i cock . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i giggle down at [him]56-robbie . “ Do [you]56-robbie always get what [you]56-robbie want ? ”[2959-i] “ Always . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie grabs [my]2959-i hips and slams [me]2959-i down , and [our]346-our mouths fall open in pleasure . Oh . . . [he]56-robbie ’s . . . “ So fucking tight , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie grinds out . With [our]346-our eyes locked , [he]56-robbie slowly moves [me]2959-i up and down , and [I]2959-i can feel every vein on [his]56-robbie thick shaft . [His]56-robbie eyes are hooded as [he]56-robbie looks up at [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i lean forward and kiss [him]56-robbie softly . “ Do [you]56-robbie know how perfect [you]56-robbie feel inside [me]56-robbie ? ”[56-robbie] [I]2959-i whisper , and then [I]2959-i lick [his]56-robbie open mouth . [His]56-robbie eyes roll back in [his]56-robbie head . “ [You]56-robbie are one hot fuck . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie picks [me]2959-i up by the hip bones and slams [me]2959-i back down on [his]56-robbie cock , and [I]2959-i laugh out loud at the overwhelming sensation of being filled to the hilt . “ [God]0-aaron , fill [me]2959-i up , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i moan . “ Give it to [me]2959-i , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i beg . [I]2959-i love how [he]56-robbie ’s losing control . It ’s making [me]2959-i crazy . And then as if in some kind of alternate universe , [my]2959-i mouth latches on to [his]56-robbie neck , and [I]2959-i suck hard as [I]2959-i ride [him]56-robbie . [He]56-robbie hisses , and as if [he]56-robbie ’s completely losing control , [he]56-robbie bucks [me]2959-i off and pulls out and throws [me]2959-i onto [my]2959-i back . [He]56-robbie lifts [my]2959-i legs over [his]56-robbie shoulders and slams in deep — so deep that the air is knocked from [my]2959-i lungs . [I]2959-i smile . So [he]56-robbie likes dirty talk , does [he]56-robbie ? Well , that just happens to be [my]2959-i specialty . Game on . [I]2959-i hold [his]56-robbie face in [my]2959-i hands . “ [God]0-aaron , [you]0-aaron ’ve got a beautiful cock , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Is it weeping for [me]2959-i , [baby]0-aaron ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [I]2959-i clench around [him]56-robbie . “ [I]56-robbie can feel [your]0-aaron pulse in it . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie gives [me]2959-i a slow , sexy smile as [he]56-robbie pumps [me]2959-i . “ [I]56-robbie ’m going to rip this condom off and blow in [your]0-aaron dirty mouth in a minute . ”[56-robbie] “ Please . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i laugh as [he]56-robbie pumps [me]2959-i hard , and in a moment of perfect clarity , [he]56-robbie turns [his]56-robbie head and tenderly kisses [my]2959-i inner ankle . [We]347-we stare at each other as something intimate runs between [us]347-we . A closeness that the reality of the situation should n’t allow . “ Do n’t look at [me]2959-i like that , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper to break the seriousness of the moment , “ or [I]2959-i ’m going to give [you]2959-i another hickey . ”[2959-i] [His]56-robbie eyes widen . “ [I]56-robbie better not have a fucking hickey , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[56-robbie] [I]2959-i laugh out loud as [I]2959-i look at the huge purple welt rising on [his]56-robbie neck . God , what the hell ? [I]2959-i ’ve been reading way too many vampire romances . “ Will [you]2959-i be in trouble with [[your]2959-i mother]2345-your mother ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i tease . [He]56-robbie laughs and slams into [me]2959-i and hits just the right spot , and [I]2959-i moan . Oh . . . [this man]56-robbie knows [his]56-robbie way around [a woman]339-a woman ’s body . Every touch is perfectly placed and magnified . [He]56-robbie knows exactly how to take [me]2959-i apart at the seams . [He]56-robbie lifts [my]2959-i hip with [his]56-robbie hand and circles deep , and [my]2959-i body takes on its own agenda because [I]2959-i need to come . Hard . “ Fuck [me]2959-i , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i beg . “ Give [me]2959-i that beautiful cock of [yours]2959-i . Harder , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i moan . “ Fuck , [I]56-robbie need it harder . ”[56-robbie] [His]56-robbie eyes close in pleasure , and [he]56-robbie pumps [me]2959-i at piston pace . [I]2959-i grab on to [him]56-robbie as tightly as [I]2959-i can as [I]2959-i convulse . [He]56-robbie holds [himself]56-robbie deep and cries out into [my]2959-i neck , and [I]2959-i feel [his]56-robbie cock jerk as it releases . [We]349-we pant as [we]349-we cling to each other , wet with perspiration , [our]349-we hearts racing wildly together , and [he]56-robbie smiles up against [my]2959-i cheek as if remembering something . “ What ? ”[56-robbie] “ Welcome to [the Miles - High Club]2346-the miles - high club , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i giggle as [I]2959-i kiss [him]56-robbie . “ [First class]310-first class is the only way to fly . ”[266-jim] [Jim]266-jim smiles sexily down at [me]2959-i as [I]2959-i lie naked in bed . [He]56-robbie ’s dressed , and [his]56-robbie bag is packed and by the door . “ [I]56-robbie have to go . ”[56-robbie] [I]2959-i screw up [my]2959-i face and hold out [my]2959-i arms . “ No , do n’t leave [me]2959-i , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i tease in a whiny voice . [He]56-robbie chuckles as [he]56-robbie bends and takes [me]2959-i into [his]56-robbie arms one last time . [We]350-we ’re not on the same plane back to [New York]385-new york this morning ; [his]56-robbie flight leaves early , and [mine]2959-i leaves late . [He]56-robbie kisses [me]2959-i softly . “ What a night , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie whispers . [I]2959-i smile as [his]56-robbie head drops to the crook of [my]2959-i neck , [his]56-robbie teeth nipping down toward [my]2959-i collarbone . “ [I]2959-i wo n’t be walking for a month — actually , a year , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i mutter dryly . [He]56-robbie bends and bites [my]2959-i nipple hard , and [I]2959-i jump . Then [he]56-robbie comes back up , and [his]56-robbie eyes meet [mine]2959-i . [I]2959-i cup [his]56-robbie handsome face . “ [I]56-robbie had an incredible night . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie smiles softly . “ [Me]56-robbie too . ”[56-robbie] [I]2959-i reach up and put [my]2959-i finger on the huge hickey on [his]56-robbie neck , and [his]56-robbie fingers go to it too . “ What the fuck were [you]56-robbie thinking ? ”[56-robbie] “ [I]2959-i have no idea what came over [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i giggle . “ [Your]56-robbie dick was too good , turned [me]56-robbie into an animal . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie bites [me]2959-i again . “ How am [I]56-robbie supposed to get on [a plane]2325-a plane with a huge - ass hickey on [my]56-robbie neck ? ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie scolds . “ If [you]56-robbie knew how many important meetings [I]56-robbie have this week , [Emily]186-jameson . . . ”[56-robbie] [We]351-we both laugh , and then [his]56-robbie face falls as [he]56-robbie watches [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i ’m not joking — [I]2959-i do n’t want [him]56-robbie to leave [me]2959-i . [This man]56-robbie is everything [I]2959-i ’m not looking for , but [he]56-robbie ’s somehow ticking every box . What if [I]2959-i never see [him]56-robbie again ? How am [I]2959-i supposed to move on from a night like this , erase it from [my]2959-i memory bank , and pretend it never happened ? [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes in disgust with [myself]2959-i . This is why [I]2959-i do n’t do one - night stands . [I]2959-i ’m not cut out for sex without strings — it ’s not who [I]2959-i am . [I]2959-i will never be [that person]352-that person . [I]2959-i hate that [he]56-robbie is . “ Actually , [I]2959-i have a scarf in [my]2959-i bag . Do [you]2959-i want it ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ Yes , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie snaps . [I]2959-i climb out of bed and go to [my]2959-i suitcase and begin to rummage through it . [He]56-robbie takes the opportunity and stands behind [me]2959-i and grabs [my]2959-i naked hip bones in [his]56-robbie hands and pumps [me]2959-i with [his]56-robbie hips . [I]2959-i stand and turn to face [him]56-robbie . “ [I]56-robbie ’m not even joking now — stay another night . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie traces [his]56-robbie finger down [my]2959-i face and cups [my]2959-i jaw in [his]56-robbie hand as [our]353-our eyes lock . “ [I]56-robbie ca n’t , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie whispers , [his]56-robbie eyes searching [mine]2959-i . . . with something unspoken . Does [he]56-robbie have [someone]2326-someone at [home]2289-home ? Is that why [he]56-robbie has n’t asked for [my]2959-i number ? Uneasiness fills [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i ’m not made for this one - night stand crap . [I]2959-i turn [my]2959-i back on [him]56-robbie and dig out the scarf and hand it over . It ’s cream and cashmere , and it ’s initialed . E.F. [[My]2959-i mother]356-my mother ’s tennis group gave it to [me]2959-i as a gift when [I]2959-i finished college . [I]2959-i did love it . . . but oh well . [He]56-robbie frowns as [he]56-robbie looks down at the embroidered letters , and [I]2959-i take it from [him]56-robbie and wrap it around [his]56-robbie neck to cover the huge purple bruise . [I]2959-i smirk as [I]2959-i look at it . [I]2959-i did n’t even know how to give a hickey . [I]2959-i must have really been in the moment . “ What does the F stand for ? ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie asks . “ Fuck bunny . ”[56-robbie] [I]2959-i smile to cover [my]2959-i disappointment . [I]2959-i do n’t want [him]56-robbie to know that [his]56-robbie last comment upset [me]2959-i . [He]56-robbie chuckles and grabs [me]2959-i roughly into [his]56-robbie arms and walks [me]2959-i back toward the bed . “ What an apt description that is . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie takes [my]2959-i leg and wraps it around [his]56-robbie waist , and [we]357-we share one last lingering kiss . “ Goodbye , [my]56-robbie beautiful fuck bunny , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie whispers . [I]2959-i run [my]2959-i fingers through [his]56-robbie hair as [I]2959-i stare at [his]56-robbie gorgeous face . “ Goodbye , Blue Eyes . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie picks the scarf up and inhales deeply . “ This smells like [you]56-robbie . ”[56-robbie] “ Put it on every time [you]56-robbie jerk off . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile sweetly . “ Imagine it ’s [me]56-robbie doing all the work . ”[56-robbie] [His]56-robbie eyes flicker with excitement . “ [You]56-robbie know , for someone who has n’t had sex for eighteen months , [you]56-robbie ’re [a fucking sex maniac]2349-a fucking sex maniac . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i giggle . “ [I]56-robbie ’ll go back to [my]56-robbie drought now . It ’s safe there . . . and [I]56-robbie can walk unassisted . ”[56-robbie] [His]56-robbie face falls , and [I]2959-i feel like [he]56-robbie wants to say something but is stopping [himself]56-robbie . “ [You]56-robbie ’re going to miss [[your]56-robbie plane]2350-your plane . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i fake a smile . [We]358-we kiss once more , and [I]2959-i hold [him]56-robbie tight , and [God]0-aaron , [he]56-robbie really is incredible . [He]56-robbie stands , and with one last lingering look at [me]2959-i lying naked in the bed , [he]56-robbie turns and walks out . [I]2959-i smile sadly at the door [he]56-robbie just left through . “ Yes , sure , [you]56-robbie can have [my]2959-i number , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper into the silence . But [he]56-robbie did n’t want it . [He]56-robbie ’s gone . Twelve months later [I]2959-i exhale and put [my]2959-i hand over [my]2959-i heart as [I]2959-i stand on the curbside and look up at [the glass skyscraper in front of [me]2959-i]359-the glass skyscraper in front of me . [My]2959-i phone rings , and the name [Mom]70-mom lights up the screen . “ Hello , [Mom]70-mom . ”[70-mom] [I]2959-i smile . [I]2959-i get a vision of [[my]2959-i beautiful mother]70-mom . [She]70-mom has a perfect blonde bob and flawless skin , and [she]70-mom ’s always immaculately dressed . If [I]2959-i can look half as good as [her]70-mom at [her]70-mom age , [I]2959-i will be winning at life . [I]2959-i miss [her]70-mom already . “ Oh , [darling]2959-i , [I]2959-i just called to wish [you]2959-i good luck . ”[2959-i] “ Thank [you]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i tap [my]2959-i toe , unable to stand still . “ [I]2959-i ’m so nervous [I]2959-i was throwing up this morning . ”[2959-i] “ [They]2351-they ’re going to love [you]2959-i , [dear]2959-i . ”[2959-i] “ Oh God . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i exhale heavily . “ [I]2959-i hope so . It took [me]2959-i six damn interviews to get this job , and [I]2959-i had to move across [the country]2320-the country for it . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i screw up [my]2959-i face in fear . “ Have [I]2959-i done the right thing , [Mom]70-mom ? ”[2959-i] “ Yes , love , this job is [your]2959-i dream , and besides , [you]2959-i needed to get away from [Robbie]56-robbie . The distance from [him]56-robbie will do [you]2959-i good . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . “ [Mom]70-mom , do n’t bring [Robbie]56-robbie into it . ”[2959-i] “ [Darling]72-darling , [you]72-darling ’re dating a man who is unemployed and lives in [[[his]56-robbie parents]2353-his parents ’ garage]2354-his parents ’ garage . [I]2959-i do n’t understand what [you]72-darling see in [him]56-robbie . ”[2959-i] “ [He]56-robbie ’s just between jobs at the moment . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sigh . “ Then if [he]56-robbie ’s got nothing going on here , why would n’t [he]56-robbie move to [New York]385-new york with [you]72-darling ? ”[2959-i] “ [He]56-robbie does n’t like [New York]385-new york . It ’s too busy for [him]56-robbie . ”[2959-i] “ Oh , [Emily]186-jameson , can [you]186-jameson hear the excuses [you]186-jameson make for [this man]56-robbie ? If [he]56-robbie loved [you]186-jameson , [he]56-robbie would be there supporting [your]186-jameson dream , since [he]56-robbie does n’t have any of [his]56-robbie own . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i exhale heavily . [I]2959-i ’ve been thinking these things [myself]2959-i , but no way in hell would [I]2959-i admit it to [anyone]272-anyone . “ Are [you]186-jameson calling [me]2959-i to stress [me]2959-i out about [Robbie]56-robbie , or are [you]186-jameson calling [me]2959-i to wish [me]2959-i luck ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ [I]2959-i ’m calling [you]186-jameson to wish [you]186-jameson luck . Good luck , [darling]186-jameson . Go and show [them]2355-them what [you]186-jameson ’re made of . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i jiggle on the spot nervously as [I]2959-i look at [the towering building above [me]2959-i]361-the building . “ Thanks . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i ’ll call [you]186-jameson tonight for a full debrief . ”[2959-i] “ Okay . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ [I]2959-i ’m going to go in . ”[2959-i] “ Go get ’em , tiger . ”[362-she] [She]362-she hangs up . [I]2959-i stare up at [the building]361-the building and at the fancy gold letters over the large double front doors . MILES MEDIA [I]2959-i exhale and drop [my]2959-i shoulders . “ Right . [You]186-jameson can do this . ”[2959-i] This is the opportunity of all opportunities . [Miles Media]68-miles media is [the biggest conglomerate media empire in [the United States]10-the united states]68-miles media and one of the largest in [the world]249-the world , with over [two thousand staff based in [New York]385-new york alone]364-two thousand staff based in new york alone . [My]2959-i fascination with journalism started in the eighth grade when [I]2959-i witnessed a car accident on [my]2959-i way [home]2289-home from [school]366-school one day . Because [I]2959-i was [the only witness]367-the only witness , [I]2959-i had to give a statement to [the police]368-the police , and then when it turned out that [the car]369-the car was stolen , the local paper came and interviewed [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i felt like [a rock star that day , and the shine]370-a rock star that day , and the shine never dulled . [I]2959-i ’ve been to college to study journalism and done internships with [the best companies in [the United States]10-the united states]371-the best companies in the united states . But it was [Miles Media]68-miles media that [I]2959-i had [my]2959-i heart set on . [Their]372-their stories are a cut above the rest ; [no other media company]373-no other media company would do . [I]2959-i ’ve applied for every position that has come up for three years and only recently got a callback . And even then , [I]2959-i went to six interviews before [I]2959-i was offered the job , and [God]0-aaron , just do n’t let [me]2959-i screw this up . [I]2959-i take out [my]2959-i security card and put the lanyard around [my]2959-i neck , and [I]2959-i glance down at [my]2959-i phone . No missed calls . [Robbie]56-robbie did n’t even call [me]2959-i to wish [me]2959-i luck . [Ugh]61-ugh , [men]330-men . [I]2959-i make [my]2959-i way to reception . The security guard at the front desk accepts [my]2959-i identification , and [I]2959-i am given a code to work [the elevator]375-the elevator . [My]2959-i heart is beating so fast as [I]2959-i get into [the elevator]375-the elevator with all [the beautiful posh - looking people]376-the beautiful posh - looking people , and [I]2959-i push the button for the fortieth floor . [I]2959-i glance over at [myself]2959-i in the mirrored doors . [I]2959-i ’m wearing a black pencil skirt that hangs to midcalf , sheer black stockings with patent leather high heels , and a cream long - sleeved silk blouse . [I]2959-i wanted to look professional and elegant . [I]2959-i ’m not sure if [I]2959-i pulled it off , but here ’s hoping . [I]2959-i pull [my]2959-i hand through [my]2959-i thick dark ponytail as [the elevator]375-the elevator flies higher and higher . [I]2959-i take a side glance at [the others in [the elevator]375-the elevator]377-the others in the elevator . [The men]378-the men are all in expensive suits , and [the women]379-the women are ultraprofessional and wearing full faces of makeup . Damn it , [I]2959-i should have worn bright lipstick . [I]2959-i ’ll buy one on [my]2959-i lunch break . The doors open on the fortieth floor , and [I]2959-i stride out as if [I]2959-i do n’t have a fear in [the world]249-the world . Faking confidence is [my]2959-i superpower , and today [I]2959-i ’m totally faking it till [I]2959-i make it . Or at least die trying . “ Hello . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile at [the kind - looking woman standing by reception]381-the kind - looking woman standing by reception . “ [I]381-the kind - looking woman standing by reception ’m [Emily Foster]186-jameson . [I]381-the kind - looking woman standing by reception ’m starting today . ”[381-the kind - looking woman standing by reception] [She]381-the kind - looking woman standing by reception smiles broadly . “ Hello , [Emily]186-jameson , [my]381-the kind - looking woman standing by reception name is [Frances]73-frances , and [I]381-the kind - looking woman standing by reception am [one of [the floor managers]2356-the floor managers]73-frances . ”[381-the kind - looking woman standing by reception] [She]381-the kind - looking woman standing by reception steps over to [me]2959-i and shakes [my]2959-i hand . “ Lovely to meet [you]186-jameson . ”[381-the kind - looking woman standing by reception] Well , [she]381-the kind - looking woman standing by reception seems nice . “ Come through , and [I]381-the kind - looking woman standing by reception ’ll show [you]186-jameson to [your]186-jameson desk . ”[381-the kind - looking woman standing by reception] [She]381-the kind - looking woman standing by reception walks off , and [I]2959-i peer into [the huge office space]361-the building . The tables are grouped into lots of four or six with partitions separating [them]383-them from the others . “ As [you]186-jameson know , [each floor of [this building]361-the building]2357-each floor of this building is a different arm of [the company]2358-the company , ”[381-the kind - looking woman standing by reception] [she]381-the kind - looking woman standing by reception says as [she]381-the kind - looking woman standing by reception walks . “ [We]2359-we have internationals and magazines from floor twenty down . [Floors thirty to forty]2360-floors thirty to forty are news and current affairs , and above forty are television and cable . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i nod nervously . “ The two top levels of [the building]361-the building are senior management only , and [your]186-jameson security card wo n’t get [you]186-jameson up there . It ’s customary for [new employees]2361-new employees to be taken on a guided tour of [the building]361-the building , and [Lindsey]74-lindsey from human resources will come and get [you]186-jameson at two o’clock this afternoon . ”[2959-i] “ Okay , great . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i confidence seep out into the carpet . [God]0-aaron , this is all so professional . “ [Most people]2362-most people start on level four and work [their]2362-most people way up [the building]361-the building , so congratulations for starting on level forty . That in itself is amazing . ”[381-the kind - looking woman standing by reception] [She]381-the kind - looking woman standing by reception smiles broadly . “ Thank [you]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply nervously . [She]381-the kind - looking woman standing by reception leads [me]2959-i over to a group of four desks by the window and pulls out a chair . “ This is [your]186-jameson desk . ”[381-the kind - looking woman standing by reception] “ Oh . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i feel the blood drain from [my]2959-i face . [I]2959-i ’ve totally bitten off more than [I]2959-i can chew here . [I]2959-i fall into [my]2959-i seat as panic begins to rise in [my]2959-i stomach . “ Hello , ”[2300-a man] [a man]2300-a man says as [he]2300-a man sits in the seat beside [me]2959-i . “ [I]2300-a man ’m [Aaron]0-aaron . ”[2300-a man] [He]2300-a man reaches over and shakes [my]2959-i hand with a broad smile . “ [You]186-jameson must be [Emily]186-jameson . ”[2300-a man] “ Hi , [Aaron]0-aaron , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper , feeling totally inadequate . “ [I]73-frances ’ll leave [you]186-jameson in [Aaron]0-aaron ’s safe hands . ”[73-frances] [Frances]73-frances smiles . “ Thank [you]186-jameson . ”[73-frances] “ Have a great day . ”[73-frances] [She]73-frances returns to reception . And [I]2959-i stare at the computer on [my]2959-i desk as [my]2959-i heart begins to beat violently . “ Are [you]186-jameson excited ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron asks . “ Oh [[my]2959-i God]2363-my god , [I]2959-i ’m petrified , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [I]2959-i turn to [him]0-aaron . “ [I]0-aaron ’ve never done this job before . [I]0-aaron usually find the stories with [[my]0-aaron group]2364-my group . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron smiles warmly . “ Do n’t worry ; [we]2365-we all felt the same when [we]2365-we started , but [they]2365-we would n’t have given [you]0-aaron the job if [they]2365-we did n’t think [you]0-aaron could do it . ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i give [him]0-aaron a lopsided smile . “ [I]0-aaron just do n’t want to let [anyone]272-anyone down . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron reaches over and puts [his]0-aaron hand on top of [mine]2959-i . “ [You]0-aaron wo n’t . [This team]2367-this team is great , and [we]2365-we help [each other]2339-each other . ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i glance down at [his]0-aaron hand on [mine]2959-i . “ Oh . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron pulls it away as [he]0-aaron notices [my]2959-i discomfort . “ [I]0-aaron ’m totally gay and way too touchy , apparently . Tell [me]0-aaron if [I]0-aaron get in [your]0-aaron space . [I]0-aaron have no sphere of reference . ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i smile , grateful for [his]0-aaron honesty . “ Okay . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look around [the office]385-new york as [people]248-people file in . “ How long have [you]0-aaron worked [here]385-new york ? ”[2959-i] “ Four years . [I]0-aaron love it . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron shivers [his]0-aaron shoulders to accentuate [his]0-aaron point . “ Best job [I]0-aaron ’ve ever had . [I]0-aaron moved from [San Fran]11-san fran for it . ”[0-aaron] “ [I]2959-i moved from [California]12-california . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile proudly . “ [You]0-aaron here by [yourself]0-aaron ? ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron asks . “ Yeah . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . “ [I]2959-i got [a little one - bedroom apartment]2369-there . [I]2959-i arrived on Friday . ”[2959-i] “ What did [you]0-aaron do all weekend ? ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron asks . “ Freaked out about today . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron laughs . “ Do n’t worry . [We]2370-we ’ve all been [there]2369-there . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look around at the two other empty chairs . “ Who else do [we]2370-we work with ? ”[2959-i] “ [Molly]198-molly . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron points to the chair behind [me]2959-i . “ [She]198-molly does n’t start until nine thirty . [She]198-molly ’s [a single mom]2371-a single mom and has to get [[her]198-molly kids]2372-her kids off to [school]366-school first . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile ; [I]2959-i like that . “ And [Ava]77-ava — [she]198-molly ’s just late because [she]198-molly probably went out last night partying . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . [He]0-aaron rolls [his]0-aaron eyes . “ [She]198-molly ’s [a deplorable party girl]198-molly , and [she]198-molly ’s never at [her]198-molly desk — always finds somewhere [she]198-molly has to be . ”[0-aaron] “ Hello , ”[387-a girl] [a girl]387-a girl says as [she]387-a girl runs up [the aisle]388-the aisle and sits down in [her]387-a girl chair . [She]387-a girl ’s panting and holds out [her]387-a girl hand . “ [I]387-a girl ’m [Ava]77-ava . ”[387-a girl] [I]2959-i shake [her]387-a girl hand and smile . “ [I]77-ava ’m [Emily]186-jameson . ”[77-ava] [Ava]77-ava is younger than [me]2959-i and very attractive , with a honey - colored bob and dramatic makeup . [She]77-ava ’s trendy and very [New York]385-new york . “ Open up [your]186-jameson computer , [Emily]186-jameson , and [I]0-aaron ’ll show [you]186-jameson through [our]2374-our programs , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron says . “ Okay , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply as [I]2959-i concentrate on [my]2959-i task . “ Oh [my]77-ava God , [Aaron]0-aaron , ”[77-ava] [Ava]77-ava says . “ [I]77-ava met [the hottest fucking guy]2375-the hottest fucking guy last night . ”[77-ava] “ Here [we]2374-our go . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron sighs . “ [You]0-aaron meet [the hottest fucking guy]2375-the hottest fucking guy every night . ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i find [myself]2959-i smiling as [I]2959-i listen to [them]389-them . “ No , seriously , this time [I]2959-i mean it . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i glance over at [Aaron]0-aaron , and [he]0-aaron smirks at [me]2959-i and rolls [his]0-aaron eyes as if [he]0-aaron ’s heard it all before . [She]77-ava gets to work , and [Aaron]0-aaron goes through and explains the programs as [I]2959-i take notes . “ At ten o’clock the stories will start coming in . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i listen intently . “ [We]2376-we , as [reporters]2377-reporters , go through [them]389-them and all say yay or nay as to whether it ’s got legs and if [we]2376-we go and report on it . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ But how will [I]2959-i know that ? ”[2959-i] “ [We]2376-we just vote yes for stuff that interests [us]2376-we , [I]77-ava suppose , ”[77-ava] [Ava]77-ava says . “ Obviously , news stories that are breaking are crucial , but it ’s the other content that [they]389-them pay [us]2376-we for . ”[77-ava] [She]77-ava reads an email . “ For example , [three coffee shops]2378-three coffee shops have closed down in one week within two blocks from each other . ”[77-ava] [She]77-ava rolls [her]77-ava eyes . “ Honestly , who gives a fuck ? This is n’t news . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i giggle . “ Here ’s one . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron reads out , “ [A driver]2379-a driver has been clocked traveling at one hundred fifty - five miles per hour , and [he]2379-a driver ran a police stop sign . [He]2379-a driver was involved in a hot pursuit and ended up crashing into [parked cars]2380-parked cars in [Brooklyn]13-brooklyn . ”[77-ava] [Ava]77-ava nods . “ Yeah , that ’s good . ”[77-ava] “ [We]2376-we ’ll go with that . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron types something and puts the file into a saved folder . “ So how does this work ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ [We]2376-we collect stories , and then [we]2376-we discuss collectively what [each of [us]2376-we]2381-each of us has done and put together a list of stories . [You]2382-you research [your]2382-you stories and have [them]2381-each of us in by four each day for the next day ’s news . Then [we]2376-we send [them]2381-each of us on to [Hayden]266-jim , and [he]0-aaron sends [them]2381-each of us to editing . Obviously , if a good story comes in , it will take priority over everything else , and it will go to live news immediately . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i listen . “ So [we]2376-we each get [our]2376-we own stories and leads sent to [us]391-us ? ”[2959-i] “ Yes , by email . By [others on this level]2383-others on this level . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i glance around at [all the workers surrounding [us]391-us]390-all the workers surrounding us . “ [We]391-us keep [our]391-us finger on the pulse of what sells and what news really is , ”[77-ava] [Ava]77-ava replies . “ It ’s the coolest job ever . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . Maybe [I]2959-i really can do this . “ Open [your]0-aaron emails . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron reaches over and opens something for [me]2959-i on [my]2959-i computer , and then [I]2959-i watch as it keeps pinging . “ Those are all possible stories ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ Yes . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron throws [me]2959-i a playful wink . “ Get reading , [baby]336-yay . [They]391-us come in thick and fast . ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i smile as excitement runs through [me]2959-i . “ Just make sure [you]2385-you get story details right . Nothing pisses management off more than incorrect names . [You]2385-you will get into huge trouble . ”[2959-i] “ Got it . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ’ve just gotten back from lunch when [my]2959-i phone rings . “ Hi , [Emily]186-jameson , this is [Lindsey]74-lindsey from human resources . [I]2959-i ’ll be up in about five minutes to get [you]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] the kind voice says on the phone . [I]2959-i wince . Oh , that ’s right — [I]2959-i have that damn building tour . “ Okay , thank [you]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hang up . “ Oh no , [I]2959-i have to go on the office tour , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper to [[my]2959-i colleagues]392-my colleagues . “ That ’s okay , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron replies as [he]0-aaron continues reading [his]0-aaron emails . “ [I]2959-i ’ve got so many leads , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . “ [I]2959-i ca n’t keep up . ”[2959-i] “ Do n’t worry . It ’s fine , ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron comforts [me]2959-i . “ What if [I]0-aaron miss a really important story ? ”[0-aaron] “ [You]186-jameson won’t — it ’s fine . [I]2959-i ’ll go through [yours]186-jameson while [you]186-jameson ’re gone . ”[2959-i] “ Really ? ”[2959-i] “ Of course it is . [You]186-jameson are n’t expected to know everything on day one . ”[0-aaron] “ Oh no , [you]186-jameson have to go to the top . ”[77-ava] [Ava]77-ava grimaces . “ What ’s the top ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ Upper - management offices . ”[2959-i] “ [They]2386-they ’re not nice ? ”[0-aaron] “ No , [they]2386-they ’re fucking horrible , and [you]186-jameson have a good chance of being fired on the spot . ”[2959-i] “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ Oh , bullshit . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron rolls [his]0-aaron eyes . “ [They]2386-they just do n’t . . . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron screws up [his]0-aaron face as [he]0-aaron chooses [his]0-aaron words . “ [They]2386-they do n’t fluff . If something is going to be said , [they]2386-they just say it how it is . [They]2386-they do n’t take any shit from [anyone]272-anyone . ”[0-aaron] “ Who are [they]2386-they ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Well , [Mr. Miles wo]79-mr. miles n’t be there . [He]79-mr. miles never is . [I]2959-i think [he]79-mr. miles ’s in [London]6-london . ”[2959-i] “ [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask as [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i nerves dance . “ [The CEO]2388-the ceo . ”[2959-i] “ Yes , [I]2959-i know who [he]79-mr. miles is . [I]2959-i think [everyone]2304-everyone does . Although [I]2959-i ’ve never seen a picture of [him]79-mr. miles . It ’s [him]79-mr. miles and [[his]79-mr. miles brothers]2390-his brothers , right ? ”[2959-i] “ Yes , it ’s [the Miles family who owns everything]2391-the miles family who owns everything . [He]79-mr. miles and [[his]79-mr. miles three brothers]2390-his brothers . ”[2959-i] “ And [they]2390-his brothers ’re all [upstairs]2392-upstairs ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [I]2959-i quickly take out the bright lipstick [I]2959-i bought at lunch and reapply . [I]2959-i need some courage here . “ Just do n’t say anything stupid up in the management levels , ”[77-ava] [Ava]77-ava says . [My]2959-i eyes widen . “ Like what ? What do [they]2390-his brothers consider stupid ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ’m really beginning to panic . “ Just keep [your]2959-i mouth shut , take the tour , and do n’t tell [HR]80-hr anything . ”[2959-i] “ Why not ? ”[2959-i] “ Because [they]2390-his brothers ’re on speed dial to the management levels . This whole tour [you]2959-i ’re taking now is just so [they]2390-his brothers can do a personality assessment on [you]2959-i in the two hours it takes [them]2390-his brothers to show [you]2959-i around . ”[2959-i] “ Oh [[my]2959-i God]2363-my god . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sigh . “ Hi , [Emily]186-jameson , is it ? [I]2959-i ’m [Lindsey]74-lindsey . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i turn to see [a beautiful blonde]393-a beautiful blonde , and [I]2959-i stand immediately and put out [my]2959-i hand . “ Hello . ”[393-a beautiful blonde] [She]393-a beautiful blonde smiles at [my]2959-i coworkers . “ Let ’s get started . [We]397-we will go down to level one and work [our]397-we way up . ”[393-a beautiful blonde] [I]2959-i give [my]2959-i new work [friends]394-friends a nervous wave and follow [her]393-a beautiful blonde out of [the office]385-new york and into [the elevator]375-the elevator . Here [we]397-we go . An hour and a half later “ And this is [the gymnasium]400-the gymnasium , for [[our]397-we staff]2394-our staff ’s own personal use . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look around at [the expansive and swanky - looking gym on level sixty]398-the expansive and swanky - looking gym on level sixty . “ Wow . ”[2959-i] “ It ’s open from six in the morning until six thirty at night . It ’s busiest before work , obviously , but [you]2395-you can come here on [your]2395-you lunch break also . A lot of [people]248-people take a late or early lunch so that it ’s not as busy when [they]248-people come . ”[2959-i] [This place]399-sky bar is ridiculous . [A cafeteria on level two that is the entire floor]400-the gymnasium , [a movie theater]401-a movie theater , [a gymnasium]402-a gymnasium , a mailroom floor , a computer geek floor . Everything has been thought out with such care . “ Okay , let ’s get going . ”[74-lindsey] [Lindsey]74-lindsey smiles . “ [We]397-we will head up to [the management floors]2397-the management floors now . ”[74-lindsey] [My]2959-i stomach dances with nerves as [we]397-we head back into [the elevator]375-the elevator . [She]74-lindsey gets in and looks at the buttons . “ Oh look , [you]2395-you ’re in luck . ”[74-lindsey] [I]2959-i frown in question . “ [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles is here . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i fake a smile . “ [I]2959-i ’ll take [you]2395-you to meet [him]79-mr. miles first . ”[2959-i] Oh God . Do n’t speak . Do n’t say anything stupid , [I]2959-i remind [myself]2959-i . [I]2959-i twist [my]2959-i fingers in front of [me]2959-i nervously as [we]397-we ride to the top floor . The doors open , and [I]2959-i step out of [the elevator]375-the elevator and stop still . What the hell ? White marble for as far as [I]2959-i can see , floor - to - ceiling glass , and luxurious white leather furnishings . “ Hello , [Sammia]246-alan . ”[74-lindsey] [Lindsey]74-lindsey smiles as [I]2959-i look around in awe . [This place]399-sky bar is insane . [A beautiful woman]404-a beautiful woman looks up from [her]404-a beautiful woman computer at reception , and [she]404-a beautiful woman smiles warmly . “ Hello , [Lindsey]74-lindsey . ”[404-a beautiful woman] “ This is [Emily]186-jameson . [She]186-jameson ’s new and started on level forty today . ”[246-alan] [Sammia]246-alan comes around and shakes [my]2959-i hand . “ [Lovely]82-lovely to meet [you]246-alan , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[246-alan] “ Is [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles taking [visitors]2398-visitors ? ”[74-lindsey] [Lindsey]74-lindsey asks . “ [He]79-mr. miles is . ”[74-lindsey] [She]74-lindsey smiles . “ [I]74-lindsey ’ll just announce [you]246-alan . ”[74-lindsey] Announce [me]2959-i . . . jeez . [Lindsey]74-lindsey hunches [her]74-lindsey shoulders as if [she]74-lindsey ’s nervous too . [Sammia]246-alan picks up the phone . “ [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles , [we]2399-we have [a new staff member]2400-a new staff member to meet [you]246-alan in reception . ”[246-alan] [She]74-lindsey listens for a moment and smiles . “ Yes , [sir]246-alan . ”[74-lindsey] [She]74-lindsey puts the phone down . “ Just go in . ”[74-lindsey] “ This way , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[74-lindsey] [Lindsey]74-lindsey directs [me]2959-i across a huge boardroom , and [my]2959-i heels click on the marble . Why do n’t [Lindsey]74-lindsey ’s shoes click ? Okay , buy rubber - soled shoes tomorrow . [We]405-we get to the end of [the huge room]406-the huge room and down [another corridor]407-another corridor , and [my]2959-i heels are clicking like [I]2959-i do n’t know what . [They]408-they ’re even annoying [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i sound like a horse . [I]2959-i feel like taking them off and throwing them in the trash . Just be quiet . [I]2959-i ’m trying to appear professional here . [We]405-we get to a set of black double doors , and [Lindsey]74-lindsey knocks as [my]2959-i heart pounds in [my]2959-i chest . Just . . . do n’t say anything stupid . “ Come in , ”[74-lindsey] a deep voice calls . [Lindsey]74-lindsey opens the doors , and [I]2959-i step into [the office]385-new york . Familiar blue eyes rise to meet [mine]2959-i from behind the large mahogany desk , and [I]2959-i stop dead still . What ? “ [Emily Foster]186-jameson , [I]74-lindsey would like to introduce [you]186-jameson to [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles , ”[74-lindsey] [Lindsey]74-lindsey says . [I]2959-i stare at [him]246-alan , unable to speak because there ’s no air in [my]2959-i lungs . [His]246-alan eyebrow rises , and [he]246-alan sits back in [his]246-alan chair as [he]246-alan smirks . “ Hello , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[246-alan] [His]246-alan big eyes hold [mine]2959-i , the same beautiful deep - blue eyes that hypnotized [me]2959-i twelve months ago . It ’s [him]246-alan . Chapter 3 Oh [[my]2959-i God]2363-my god . [He]246-alan stands and walks around to [my]2959-i side of the desk and holds [his]246-alan hand out to shake [mine]2959-i . “ [Jameson Miles]186-jameson . ”[246-alan] It ’s [him]246-alan , [the layover guy who never asked for [my]2959-i number]246-alan . [I]2959-i stare at [him]246-alan as [my]2959-i brain completely misfires . [I]2959-i ca n’t believe this . [He]246-alan ’s [the fucking CEO]246-alan ? “ [Emily]186-jameson , tell [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles all about [yourself]186-jameson , ”[74-lindsey] [Lindsey]74-lindsey says , as if to prompt [me]2959-i to speak . “ Oh . ”[74-lindsey] [I]2959-i catch [myself]2959-i and shake [his]246-alan hand . “ [I]246-alan ’m [Emily Foster]186-jameson . ”[246-alan] [His]246-alan hand is strong and warm , and [I]2959-i ’m instantly reminded how it felt on [my]2959-i skin . [I]2959-i pull [my]2959-i hand out of [his]246-alan grip as if [he]246-alan ’s given [me]2959-i an electric shock . [His]246-alan mischievous eyes hold [mine]2959-i , and [he]246-alan keeps [his]246-alan face straight . “ Welcome to [Miles Media]14-miles media , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan says calmly . “ Thanks , ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i croak . [I]2959-i look over at [Lindsey]74-lindsey . Oh God , does [she]74-lindsey know [I]2959-i ’m [a dirty - talking whore bag who fucked [[our]413-our boss ’s boss ’s boss]414-our boss ’s boss ’s boss]412-a dirty - talking whore bag who fucked our boss ’s boss ’s boss ? “ [I]74-lindsey ’ll take it from here , [Lindsey]74-lindsey . [Emily]186-jameson will be out in a moment , ”[74-lindsey] [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles states . [Lindsey]74-lindsey frowns and looks over at [me]2959-i . “ [I]74-lindsey ’ll just — ”[74-lindsey] “ Wait outside , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan says as [he]246-alan dismisses [her]74-lindsey . Shit . “ Yes , [sir]246-alan , ”[74-lindsey] [she]74-lindsey says as [she]74-lindsey scurries for the door . It closes behind [her]74-lindsey , and [I]2959-i drag [my]2959-i eyes back to [him]246-alan . [He]246-alan ’s tall , with dark hair , and [he]246-alan ’s wearing the most perfectly fitted navy suit in the history of all suits . [His]246-alan blue eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ Hello , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i twist [my]2959-i fingers in front of [myself]2959-i nervously . “ Hi . ”[2959-i] [He]246-alan never asked for [your]415-your number . Screw [him]246-alan . [I]2959-i tilt [my]2959-i chin to the ceiling as [I]2959-i act brave . [I]2959-i did n’t want [him]246-alan to call [me]2959-i anyway . [His]246-alan eyes blaze , and [he]246-alan rests [his]246-alan behind on [his]246-alan desk and crosses [his]246-alan feet in front of [him]246-alan . [I]2959-i glance down at [his]246-alan shoes . [I]2959-i remember those pretentious expensive shoes . “ Given any poor unsuspecting travel companions hickeys lately ? ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan asks . Oh hell on a broomstick — [he]246-alan remembers . [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i face flush with embarrassment . [I]2959-i ca n’t believe [I]2959-i did that . Shit , shit , shit . “ Yes , just last night , actually . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pause for effect . “ On [my]2959-i flight here . ”[2959-i] [His]246-alan jaw clenches , and [he]246-alan raises [his]246-alan eyebrow , unimpressed . “ So [you]246-alan ’re not [Jim]266-jim ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ To [some people [I]2959-i ’m [Jim]266-jim]2401-some people i ’m jim . ”[2959-i] “ [Women]276-women [you]246-alan pick up for one - night stands , [you]246-alan mean . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan crosses [his]246-alan arms in front of [him]246-alan as if annoyed . “ What ’s with the attitude ? ”[246-alan] “ [I]2959-i do n’t have an attitude , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i fire back . [He]246-alan raises [his]246-alan eyebrow again , and [I]2959-i feel like slapping it down to [his]246-alan chin . [I]2959-i look around [[his]246-alan over - the - top luxurious office]416-his over - the - top luxurious office . It ’s ridiculous , with a 360 - degree view out over [New York]385-new york . It has [a large lounge area with a fully stocked bar and leather stools lined up in front of [it]417-a large lounge area with a fully stocked bar and leather stools lined up in front of it]417-a large lounge area with a fully stocked bar and leather stools lined up in front of it and a conference table area . [I]2959-i can see [a hallway with a private bathroom]418-a hallway with a private bathroom , and then [another few rooms]419-another few rooms are off that . [He]246-alan runs [his]246-alan fingertips over [his]246-alan bottom lip as [he]246-alan assesses [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i feel it all the way to [my]2959-i toes . [God]0-aaron , [he]246-alan ’s so gorgeous . [I]2959-i ’ve thought of [him]246-alan often over the last year . “ What are [you]2403-you doing in [New York]385-new york ? ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan asks . “ Working for [Miles Media]68-miles media . ”[246-alan] A thought crosses [my]2959-i mind , and [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i remember something [he]246-alan said to [me]2959-i back then . Welcome to [the Miles - High Club]2346-the miles - high club . . . Dear God , [I]2959-i thought [he]246-alan meant sex - in - a - plane club . . . [he]246-alan meant [women who had slept with [him]246-alan]421-women who had slept with him . [Miles]68-miles media . . . [he]246-alan ’s the Miles . . . and there ’s [a club]422-a club ? Damn it , the hottest sex of [my]2959-i life was just an initiation into [some sleazy bedpost club]423-some sleazy bedpost club . For the past twelve months , the night that [we]424-we spent together was something special that [I]2959-i held [dear]0-aaron . [He]246-alan awakened something inside [me]2959-i that [I]2959-i did n’t even know existed , and now [I]2959-i find out that [I]2959-i ’m one of many . [My]2959-i heart drops in disappointment , and [I]2959-i clench [my]2959-i jaw to stop [myself]2959-i from lashing out to try to hurt [him]246-alan back . [Bastard]84-bastard . [I]2959-i ’ve got to get out of here before [I]2959-i get [myself]2959-i fired on [my]2959-i first day . “ Nice to see [you]84-bastard again . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i fake a smile , and with [my]2959-i heart beating hard in [my]2959-i chest , [I]2959-i turn and walk out of [[his]246-alan office]426-his office and close the door behind [me]2959-i . “ All done ? ”[74-lindsey] [Lindsey]74-lindsey smiles . “ Yes . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i nod . [We]427-we walk out through reception and into [the elevator]375-the elevator and begin to go back down to [my]2959-i level . “ Do n’t feel rattled , ”[74-lindsey] [Lindsey]74-lindsey says softly . [I]2959-i frown over at [her]74-lindsey in question . “ [He]246-alan ’s very abrasive and not good with [people]248-people , but [his]246-alan mind is beyond incredible . ”[2959-i] Like [his]246-alan dick . “ Oh , okay , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply as [I]2959-i stare at the ground . “ Good to know . ”[2959-i] “ Did [he]246-alan say anything to [you]246-alan ? ”[2959-i] “ No , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i lie . “ Just polite chitchat . ”[74-lindsey] [She]74-lindsey smiles . “ [You]246-alan should feel very privileged . [Jameson Miles]186-jameson does n’t make polite chitchat with [anyone]272-anyone . ”[74-lindsey] “ Oh . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . The door opens , and [I]2959-i scurry out to evade this conversation . “ Thank [you]246-alan so much for showing [me]2959-i around . ”[2959-i] “ [You]246-alan ’re welcome , and if [you]246-alan have any human resource issues , please call [me]74-lindsey immediately . ”[74-lindsey] “ [I]2959-i will . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shake [her]74-lindsey hand . Does being initiated into the Miles dick - riding club classify as a human resource issue ? “ Thank [you]246-alan so much . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i take off in the direction of [my]2959-i desk , and [I]2959-i discreetly grab [my]2959-i phone from [my]2959-i drawer . “ Back in a moment . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i head to [the bathroom]300-the bathroom and bang the stall door open and lock it . Then in the privacy of [the bathroom]300-the bathroom , [I]2959-i type into Google : [Jameson Miles]186-jameson . [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes as [I]2959-i wait for the information to load . [My]2959-i heart is hammering in [my]2959-i chest . Please do n’t be married . . . please do n’t be married . [I]2959-i ’ve beat [myself]2959-i up over this for the last year , and it ’s played on [my]2959-i mind as to why [he]430-he did n’t even pretend to want [my]2959-i number . [I]2959-i felt like [we]431-we had a connection , but there was something [he]430-he did n’t tell [me]2959-i . And for some reason , afterward , [I]2959-i got the feeling [he]430-he was married . . . or in a relationship . And that makes [me]2959-i a dirty ho . [I]2959-i ’ve never been with [a person who is in a committed relationship to [someone else]433-someone else]432-a person who is in a committed relationship to someone else , and [women who knowingly do that make [me]2959-i sick]434-women who knowingly do that make me sick . If [I]2959-i had known how much it was going to play on [my]2959-i mind , [I]2959-i would n’t have gone near [him]430-he that night . [Jameson Grant Miles]186-jameson is [an American businessman]186-jameson and [investor]435-investor . Aged 37 , [Miles]186-jameson is [the eldest son of media mogul [George Miles Jr.]85-george miles jr. and [the grandson of [George Miles Sr]0-aaron]186-jameson]186-jameson . In 2012 , [he]186-jameson inherited control of [the family empire]436-the family empire , [Miles Media Holdings Ltd.]15-miles media holdings ltd. , as well as investments in television , film , and multiple other companies . [He]186-jameson is [the former executive chairman of [Publishing and Consolidated Media Holdings , which predominantly owns media interests across a range of platforms]437-publishing and consolidated media holdings , which predominantly owns media interests across a range of platforms]186-jameson , and also [a former executive chairman of [Netflix]87-netflix]438-a former executive chairman of netflix . In May 2018 , [Miles]0-aaron ’s net worth was assessed as $ 5.50 billion , ranking [him]186-jameson among the top 100 richest Americans , alongside [[his]186-jameson three brothers]2390-his brothers . Oh hell . [I]2959-i read on . Personal life . [Fiercely]88-fiercely private , [he]88-fiercely is known for a penchant for [beautiful women]440-beautiful women . [He]88-fiercely dated [Claudia Mason]57-claudia from 2011 to 2015 and has had no known personal relationships since . [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i hand on [my]2959-i chest and breathe out in relief . Thank God . [I]2959-i click on the link for [Claudia Mason]57-claudia . Who is [she]57-claudia ? A barrage of images comes up , and [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i confidence run down the drain . [Claudia Mason]57-claudia is [an English businesswoman and fashion icon]57-claudia . Aged 34 . [Mason]57-claudia is [a British journalist]57-claudia . [She]57-claudia is the editor - in - chief of the British edition of Vogue and also the youngest editor in the history of British Vogue . [She]57-claudia took the helm of Vogue in 2014 . [Mason]57-claudia is one of [the country]2320-the country ’s most oft - quoted voices on fashion trends . In addition to [her]57-claudia work with [Vogue]90-vogue , [Mason]57-claudia has written columns for [Miles Media]68-miles media and has ten published books . Personal life . [Mason]57-claudia is [the eldest of [five children]443-five children]442-the eldest of five children and is [the daughter of [French politician [Marcel Angelo]91-marcel angelo]444-french politician marcel angelo]442-the eldest of five children . [She]57-claudia dated and was engaged to media heir [Jameson Miles]186-jameson from 2011 to 2015 , but the relationship broke down and ended , which [she]57-claudia cited was due to [their]445-their individual workloads and commitments on different sides of [the world]249-the world . [She]57-claudia is currently dating [Edward Schneider]92-edward schneider , [a solicitor who resides in [London]6-london]447-a solicitor who resides in london . Engaged . . . [they]448-they were engaged ? [I]2959-i exhale heavily and click out of [my]2959-i search in disgust . Of course [he]447-a solicitor who resides in london dated [her]57-claudia . Well , that ’s depressing . [She]57-claudia ’s [the damn editor of British Vogue]449-the damn editor of british vogue . [I]2959-i ca n’t compete with that shit . It took [me]2959-i three whole years to get a crappy job at [Miles Media]14-miles media . [I]2959-i wash [my]2959-i hands and fix [my]2959-i hair in the mirror . Not that it matters anyway , [I]2959-i guess . [I]2959-i have [a boyfriend]450-a boyfriend , and [Jameson Miles]186-jameson is nothing to [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i storm back to [my]2959-i desk with a fire in [my]2959-i belly . [I]2959-i wo n’t even see [him]447-a solicitor who resides in london . [I]2959-i fall into [my]2959-i seat . “ How was the tour ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron asks . “ Yeah , good . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i open [my]2959-i email . “ Did [you]93-jeez go up to the top levels ? ”[2959-i] “ Uh - huh . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i begin to glance through [my]2959-i five thousand emails that arrived in the two hours since [I]2959-i left . [Jeez]93-jeez , there ’s a lot of news around [here]385-new york . “ What about [the offices]2406-the management offices ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron replies . “ [They]2406-the management offices ’re something else , right ? All that white marble . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i lips as [I]2959-i try to act casual . “ Uh - huh . ”[2959-i] “ [I]198-molly did n’t get to see [the management offices]2406-the management offices when [I]198-molly started , ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly says . “ [He]0-aaron was n’t taking [visitors]2398-visitors that day . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i glance over at [her]198-molly . “ [I]0-aaron went into [[his]0-aaron office]426-his office , but [he]0-aaron was n’t there , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron chimes in . “ Who ? [Jameson]186-jameson , [you]0-aaron mean ? ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i pretend to be uninterested in this conversation . “ Yeah , did [you]0-aaron see [him]0-aaron at all ? ”[2959-i] “ Yep . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i open an email . “ [I]2959-i met [him]0-aaron . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i fucked [his]0-aaron brains out too . “ Was [he]0-aaron a rude pig ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly frowns . “ [Everyone]2304-everyone is so scared of [him]0-aaron . ”[198-molly] “ No , [he]0-aaron seemed fine . [I]0-aaron was in [[his]0-aaron office]2369-there , and [he]0-aaron seemed okay . ”[0-aaron] “ [You]0-aaron were in [[his]0-aaron office]2369-there while [he]0-aaron was [there]2369-there ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron frowns . “ Uh - huh . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i keep typing . Please stop talking about [him]0-aaron . “ What are [you]0-aaron guys doing tonight ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly asks . “ [The kids]452-the kids are with [[their]452-the kids dad]2411-their dad , and [I]198-molly could do with pizza and beer . Screw the diet and [the gym]2412-the gym . ”[198-molly] “ Yeah , [I]0-aaron ’m in , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron replies . “ Really ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . [I]2959-i ca n’t believe [they]452-the kids are asking [me]2959-i out on [my]2959-i first day . “ Yeah , why not ? Do [you]0-aaron have anything else going on ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly asks . “ Well , seeing as [[you]0-aaron two]2413-you two are [the only people [I]2959-i know in [New York]385-new york]2413-you two , what else could [I]2959-i possibly have going on ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug happily . “ Pizza and beer it is , ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly replies as [she]198-molly continues typing . [I]2959-i begin to scroll back through [my]2959-i email list , and the name [Jameson Miles]186-jameson pops up as [a sender]453-a sender . What ? [I]2959-i glance around guiltily and click to open it . It ’s probably a welcome email sent to [everyone]2304-everyone . [Emily]186-jameson , [You]186-jameson are required in [[my]2959-i office]455-my office at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow for a private meeting . Go through security and tell [them]2304-everyone [you]186-jameson are coming to see [me]2959-i . [They]2304-everyone will buzz [you]186-jameson up to [my]2959-i floor . [Jameson Miles]186-jameson CEO Miles Media [New York]385-new york “ What the hell ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ What ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly asks . “ Nothing , ”[198-molly] [I]2959-i stammer as [I]2959-i minimize [my]2959-i screen . Shit . What does [he]186-jameson want ? Just play dumb . [I]2959-i write back . [Dear Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles , Would [you]79-mr. miles like [me]2959-i to bring [[my]2959-i team]456-my team ? [Emily]186-jameson [I]2959-i tap [my]2959-i pen on the desk and look around nervously as [I]2959-i wait for [his]186-jameson reply . [Emily]186-jameson , No . [I]2959-i do not want to see [[your]79-mr. miles team]456-my team , nor do [I]2959-i want [you]79-mr. miles to tell [anybody]457-anybody about [our]458-our scheduled meeting . This particular meeting is of a private nature . Jameson Miles Miles Media [New York]385-new york [My]2959-i eyes widen . Oh [my]2959-i God . . . private nature ? What the hell does that mean ? [I]2959-i pinch the bridge of [my]2959-i nose . [I]2959-i need pizza and beer too . Hurry up , five o’clock . [The bar]459-the bar is noisy and a hive of activity , and [I]2959-i can hardly wipe the goofy grin from [my]2959-i face as [I]2959-i look around at [all the people who have just come from work]460-all the people who have just come from work . [I]2959-i ’m sitting at a bench table with [Molly]198-molly and [Aaron]0-aaron in [a sports bar]461-a sports bar , and [I]2959-i ’m feeling oh so [New York]385-new york . It ’s a Monday night , and [I]2959-i ’m out and about with what feels like [a million cool people]462-a million cool people . “ All [I]198-molly ’m saying , ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly says as [she]198-molly chews [her]198-molly pizza , “ is that if [you]2414-you did n’t see [him]464-aaron ’s new boyfriend all weekend , and [he]464-aaron ’s new boyfriend has no problem with that , there ’s an issue . ”[198-molly] “ Maybe [he]464-aaron ’s new boyfriend was just busy , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron scoffs . “ Maybe [he]464-aaron ’s new boyfriend ’s just lame , ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly huffs . [We]463-we ’re discussing [[Aaron]0-aaron ’s new boyfriend]464-aaron ’s new boyfriend , and for some reason , [I]2959-i feel comfortable enough to make [Aaron]0-aaron feel better about [his]0-aaron situation because [mine]465-mine is worse . “ Well , get this . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i finish [my]2959-i mouthful . “ [You]2414-you want to hear lame ? [I]2959-i ’m dating [a guy [I]2959-i ’ve crushed on since [I]2959-i was thirteen years old]2415-a guy i ’ve crushed on since i was thirteen years old . [A football star who was only interested in [me]2959-i after [he]2415-a guy i ’ve crushed on since i was thirteen years old injured [himself]2415-a guy i ’ve crushed on since i was thirteen years old]2415-a guy i ’ve crushed on since i was thirteen years old . [We]463-we had a few great months together , but then [he]2415-a guy i ’ve crushed on since i was thirteen years old dove into some kind of life crisis . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i beer . “ [He]2415-a guy i ’ve crushed on since i was thirteen years old does n’t know what [he]2415-a guy i ’ve crushed on since i was thirteen years old wants to do outside of football . [He]2415-a guy i ’ve crushed on since i was thirteen years old ’s unemployed with no prospects . [He]2415-a guy i ’ve crushed on since i was thirteen years old lives in [[[his]2415-a guy i ’ve crushed on since i was thirteen years old parents]2353-his parents ’ garage]2354-his parents ’ garage and just recently wrote [[his]2415-a guy i ’ve crushed on since i was thirteen years old car]2354-his parents ’ garage off . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shake [my]2959-i head in disgust and pull [my]2959-i phone out of [my]2959-i bag . “ [He]2415-a guy i ’ve crushed on since i was thirteen years old would n’t move here with [me]2959-i because [he]2415-a guy i ’ve crushed on since i was thirteen years old does n’t like [busy cities]2418-busy cities . [He]2415-a guy i ’ve crushed on since i was thirteen years old did n’t call [me]2959-i this morning to wish [me]2959-i luck , and it ’s now”—I[2959-i] glance at [my]2959-i watch—“nine forty p.m. , and [he]2415-a guy i ’ve crushed on since i was thirteen years old has n’t even bothered to call to see how [my]466-they first day went . ”[466-they] [They]466-they both groan in disgust . “ What the fuck are [you]466-they doing with [him]2415-a guy i ’ve crushed on since i was thirteen years old ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron winces . [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i beer with an eye roll and shrug . “ Who knows ? ”[466-they] [They]466-they both chuckle . “ Well , all [I]198-molly want is some good sex . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly sighs . “ Every time [I]2959-i see someone [I]2959-i ’m attracted to , [I]2959-i ’m with [the kids]452-the kids . So then [I]2959-i ca n’t act on it . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ [You]466-they would n’t introduce [anyone]272-anyone to [[your]466-they kids]452-the kids ? ”[2959-i] “ No . [[My]0-aaron God]2363-my god , [they]452-the kids make [[their]452-the kids father]2422-their father ’s life hell with [[his]0-aaron new girlfriend]250-his new girlfriend . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron laughs as if remembering something . “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . [Molly]198-molly smirks . “ [[My]2959-i children]452-the kids are so fucking naughty [you]452-the kids would n’t even believe . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i giggle . “ How old are [they]452-the kids ? ”[2959-i] “ [Mischa]94-mischa is thirteen , and [Brad]95-brad is fifteen , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly replies . “ [They]452-the kids ’ve decided between [the two of [them]452-the kids]452-the kids that [they]452-the kids are going to make life a living hell for [[their]452-the kids father]2422-their father and [me]198-molly unless [we]2424-we get back together . ”[198-molly] “ How so ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i laugh . “ [Brad]95-brad has been suspended from school twice this year , and now [Mischa]94-mischa is going off [the rails]2425-the rails too . A few weekends ago [they]452-the kids each had [a friend]2426-his girlfriend stay over at [[their]452-the kids father]2422-their father ’s while [he]2426-his girlfriend and [[his]2426-his girlfriend girlfriend]2426-his girlfriend went out to dinner . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i listen . “ [They]452-the kids got drunk from [[his]2426-his girlfriend bar]2427-his bar and cut the crotches out of all of [[his]2426-his girlfriend girlfriend]2426-his girlfriend ’s underwear . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron laughs , and [my]2959-i eyes widen in horror . “ [And”—she]96-and”—she[467-she] sips [her]467-she drink—“when [[their]452-the kids father]2422-their father asked [them]452-the kids about it , [they]452-the kids said that the underpants had rotted because [her]467-she vagina was contaminated . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i burst out laughing . “ No . ”[467-she] [She]467-she shakes [her]467-she head in disgust . “ [I]467-she wish [I]467-she was joking . ”[467-she] [Aaron]0-aaron throws [his]0-aaron head back and laughs . “ [I]0-aaron fucking love [[your]0-aaron kids]2419-the two of them , [man]2430-tristan . That ’s a classic . ”[0-aaron] “ No , it ’s a nightmare , ”[467-she] [she]467-she replies flatly . “ Why did [you]0-aaron divorce [him]2430-tristan ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ [You]0-aaron know , [I]467-she do n’t actually know . ”[467-she] [She]467-she thinks for a moment . “ [We]2431-we just kind of lost [our]2431-we way . [We]2431-we were both working so hard , so [we]2431-we were always too tired for sex . [We]2431-we had [two kids]2432-two kids and a mortgage . ”[467-she] [She]467-she shrugs . “ [We]2431-we never went on date nights or made an effort for each other . [I]467-she do n’t have a precise moment that [we]2431-we knew it was over . [We]2431-we just kind of fell apart . ”[467-she] “ That ’s sad . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sigh . “ [He]2430-tristan met [someone else at work]2433-someone else at work , and [he]2430-tristan talked to [me]2959-i about it . Nothing had happened at that stage , and [he]2430-tristan said [he]2430-tristan told [me]2959-i because [he]2430-tristan wanted to fight for [us]2431-we to get back what [we]2431-we once had . ”[2959-i] “ [You]2434-you did n’t fight ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ No , ”[467-she] [she]467-she says sadly . “ And neither did [he]2430-tristan . [We]2431-we just kind of walked away from each other . It was all too hard at the time . ”[467-she] [She]467-she thinks for a moment . “ [I]467-she regret it now . [He]2430-tristan ’s [a great man]2430-tristan . And in hindsight , [I]467-she think a lot of the problems [we]468-great friends had just come from getting older . Sex drive is something [you]2434-you both need to work at , but [we]468-great friends did n’t realize that until it was too late . ”[467-she] [She]467-she smiles softly . “ [We]468-great friends ’re [great friends]468-great friends now . ”[467-she] Hmm . [We]468-great friends all fall silent . “ Lucky [you]2434-you ’ve got [those kids]2435-those kids to cut up [your]2434-you competition ’s underwear . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron smiles . [We]468-great friends all laugh out loud . “ [Contaminated vagina]97-contaminated vagina . Where do [they]2435-those kids come up with this shit ? ”[468-great friends] [I]2959-i hold the black dress up against [my]2959-i body and stare at [my]2959-i reflection in the mirror . Hmm . [I]2959-i throw it and the coat hanger it ’s on onto the bed . [I]2959-i grab the gray skirt and jacket and hold it up to [myself]2959-i . Maybe black ? Shit . What the hell do [you]469-you wear when [you]469-you want to be sexy without trying to look sexy ? It ’s just now eleven o’clock , and [I]2959-i ’m deciding what to wear to [my]2959-i meeting with [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles in the morning . What does [he]79-mr. miles want to see [me]2959-i about anyway ? [I]2959-i think [I]2959-i ’ll go with the black dress . [I]2959-i lay it out on the chair . [I]2959-i pick up [my]2959-i patent leather pumps and put them on the floor under the dress . What earrings ? Hmm . [I]2959-i twist [my]2959-i lips as [I]2959-i think . Pearls . Yes , pearls do n’t scream fuck [me]2959-i like the gold ones do . Pearls are sensible working earrings . Right . [I]2959-i ’ll wash [my]2959-i hair and curl it in the morning . [I]2959-i look at [my]2959-i reflection and hold [my]2959-i hair up in a high ponytail . Yes . . . high ponytail . [He]79-mr. miles likes high ponytails . Stop it . [I]2959-i sit on the end of [my]2959-i bed and look around [[my]2959-i little apartment]470-my little apartment . It ’s one bedroom and on the thirtieth floor — tiny and quaint . It is modern , though , and is in [a nice building]471-a nice building . It ’s different from what [I]2959-i ’m used to ; this [New York]385-new york – living thing is all so foreign , living alone and drinks and places to go on a Monday night . [I]2959-i pick up [my]2959-i phone and flick through [my]2959-i messages . [[My]2959-i three best girlfriends]472-my three best girlfriends all messaged [me]2959-i tonight to see how [my]2959-i day was . So did [[my]2959-i mom]473-my mom . [Robbie]56-robbie did n’t . Sadness sweeps over [me]2959-i . What ’s going on with [us]474-us ? Maybe [I]2959-i should call [him]56-robbie . [I]2959-i am the one who left , after all . [I]2959-i dial [his]56-robbie number , and it rings . Eventually , [he]56-robbie picks up . “ Hey . ”[56-robbie] “ Hi . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ How are [you]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] “ Sleeping , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie mutters . “ What time is it ? ”[56-robbie] [My]2959-i face falls as [I]2959-i glance at [my]2959-i watch . “ Sorry . ”[56-robbie] “ Yeah , no matter . [I]2959-i ’ll call [you]2959-i tomorrow , [babe]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i heart drops . “ Okay . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pause . “ Sorry to wake [you]2959-i . ”[2959-i] “ Bye . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie hangs up . [I]2959-i exhale heavily . “ [My]2959-i first day at work went great ; thank [you]2959-i for asking , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i mutter dryly . With a heavy heart and a stomach full of nerves , [I]2959-i crawl into bed , and [I]2959-i smile into the darkness as [I]2959-i remember [my]2959-i night with [Jim]266-jim . [I]2959-i ’ve thought of [him]266-jim many times when [I]2959-i ’m alone at night . [He]266-jim was hands down the most amazing sexual experience of [my]2959-i life — not that [I]2959-i ’ll ever admit that to [anyone]272-anyone , but [I]2959-i know it [myself]2959-i . [I]2959-i ’m going to see [him]266-jim in the morning . [I]2959-i feel the nerves dance in [my]2959-i stomach . [I]2959-i wonder what [he]266-jim ’s going to say ? [Jameson]186-jameson [I]2959-i sit at [my]2959-i desk and go through the folder , [Emily Foster]186-jameson ’s file . [I]2959-i read through [her]186-jameson details , school grades , references , and then [her]186-jameson application letter . Was this the job [she]186-jameson was trying to interview for twelve months ago ? Buzz . [I]2959-i press the intercom to security on the ground floor , and [I]2959-i glance up at the mirror on the wall and push the remote . It instantly turns into a television screen . “ Yes . ”[2959-i] “ [We]2436-we have an [Emily Foster]186-jameson here to see [you]186-jameson , [sir]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i catch sight of [her]186-jameson , and [I]2959-i smile . There [she]186-jameson is . “ Send [her]186-jameson up . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i watch as [she]186-jameson is led through to [the elevator]455-my office with [the guard]477-the guard , and [he]477-the guard puts [her]186-jameson into [[my]2959-i elevator]455-my office . [I]2959-i make [my]2959-i way out into reception , and soon the doors open , and [she]186-jameson comes into view . “ Hello . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i smirk . “ Hi , ”[186-jameson] [she]186-jameson whispers . [She]186-jameson looks nervous . [I]2959-i hold out [my]2959-i hand and gesture toward [[my]2959-i office]455-my office . “ Please come through . ”[186-jameson] [She]186-jameson walks in front of [me]2959-i , and [my]2959-i eyes drop to [her]186-jameson backside . [She]186-jameson ’s wearing a black fitted dress , sheer stockings , and high - heeled pumps , and [her]186-jameson hair is in a bouncy ponytail . . . just ready to drag down to [my]2959-i . . . stop it . “ Take a seat , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say as [I]2959-i sit down at [my]2959-i desk . [She]186-jameson takes a seat and clutches [her]186-jameson bag on [her]186-jameson lap as [her]186-jameson eyes find [mine]2959-i . [I]2959-i swivel on [my]2959-i chair as [I]2959-i watch [her]186-jameson . [She]186-jameson ’s as gorgeous as [I]2959-i remember , and a potent sexual aura oozes out of [her]186-jameson like a concealed weapon . Long dark hair , brown eyes , and big fuckable lips . [I]2959-i ’ve thought of [her]186-jameson often — [she]186-jameson was impossible to forget . [Nobody]2321-nobody has ever ridden [my]2959-i cock the way [she]186-jameson did , not before , not since . Not ever . The hickey on [my]2959-i neck was n’t the only thing [she]186-jameson branded [me]2959-i with that night . “ [You]186-jameson wanted to see [me]186-jameson ? ”[186-jameson] [she]186-jameson asks softly . The sound of [her]186-jameson voice has a physical effect on [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i remember [her]186-jameson sex talk and what a turn - on it was to hear [her]186-jameson sweet voice say such dirty things . “ Yes . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i stare at [her]186-jameson . “ [I]186-jameson did . ”[186-jameson] [Emily]186-jameson was [the first woman [I]2959-i have been with in a long time who had no idea who [I]2959-i was]186-jameson . Strangely enough , [I]2959-i did n’t need to be [anyone]272-anyone that night . Being [Jim]266-jim was enough . “ What about ? ”[266-jim] [I]2959-i sit back in [my]2959-i chair , annoyed with [her]186-jameson attitude . [The majority of women gush over [me]2959-i]480-the majority of women gush over me — this one , not so much . “ What are [you]186-jameson doing in [New York]385-new york ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask [her]186-jameson to try to make polite conversation . “ [You]186-jameson asked [me]186-jameson that yesterday , ”[186-jameson] [she]186-jameson snaps . “ Get to the point . ”[186-jameson] “ [I]186-jameson am asking [you]186-jameson again now . Stop with the fucking attitude . ”[186-jameson] [She]186-jameson narrows [her]186-jameson eyes as if annoyed . [I]2959-i sit forward in [my]2959-i seat . “ What is [your]186-jameson problem ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sneer . “ [You]186-jameson . [You]186-jameson are [my]2959-i problem . ”[2959-i] “ [Me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask , affronted . “ What did [I]2959-i do ? ”[2959-i] “ Do [you]186-jameson have something work related to talk to [me]2959-i about or not , [Jim]266-jim ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i glare at [her]186-jameson . “ [You]186-jameson ’re very rude . ”[2959-i] “ [You]186-jameson ’re very rich . ”[2959-i] “ And ? ”[186-jameson] [She]186-jameson shrugs . “ What does that mean ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ Nothing . ”[186-jameson] [She]186-jameson straightens [her]186-jameson back . “ If [you]186-jameson do n’t have anything work related to talk to [me]186-jameson about , [I]186-jameson ’ll get going . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i clench [my]2959-i jaw as [I]2959-i stare at [her]186-jameson ; the air crackles between [us]481-us . “ Can [I]186-jameson see [you]186-jameson tonight ? ”[186-jameson] [Her]186-jameson eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ No . ”[186-jameson] “ Why not ? ”[2959-i] “ Because [I]2959-i ’m [a professional]2437-a professional , and [I]2959-i have no intention of mixing business and pleasure . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i clench [my]2959-i jaw to stop [myself]2959-i from smirking . [My]2959-i interest in [her]186-jameson is growing by the second . “ What makes [you]186-jameson so sure it would be a pleasure ? ”[2959-i] “ History has a way of repeating itself , ”[186-jameson] [she]186-jameson whispers as [her]186-jameson dark eyes drop to [my]2959-i lips . [I]2959-i get a vision of [her]186-jameson naked and on top of [me]2959-i in [my]2959-i chair , and [I]2959-i inhale sharply as [my]2959-i cock begins to thump . “ History will be kind to [me]2959-i , for [I]2959-i intend to write it , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say . “ Quoting [Winston Churchill]98-winston churchill now , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles ? ”[186-jameson] [she]186-jameson breathes . [I]2959-i smirk , amused by [her]186-jameson intelligence . “ [You]186-jameson must look at the facts because [they]2438-they look at [you]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ [I]186-jameson never worry about action , but only inaction , ”[186-jameson] [she]186-jameson fires back without hesitation . “ Exactly , so as [a fellow Churchill tragic]2439-a fellow churchill tragic , [I]186-jameson demand [you]186-jameson have dinner with [me]186-jameson tonight . ”[186-jameson] [She]186-jameson smiles and stands . “ [I]186-jameson ca n’t . ”[186-jameson] “ Why not ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]186-jameson ’m washing [my]186-jameson hair . ”[186-jameson] “ Why would [you]186-jameson want to wash it when [you]186-jameson could be getting it dirty ? ”[186-jameson] [She]186-jameson shrugs casually . “ [I]2959-i ’m just not interested in [you]186-jameson . [You]186-jameson ’re not [my]2959-i type . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [her]186-jameson as [her]186-jameson words roll around in [my]2959-i head . [Ouch]99-ouch . [I]2959-i purse [my]2959-i lips as [my]2959-i eyes hold [hers]186-jameson . That ’s the first time [I]2959-i ’ve ever been flat - out rejected . “ Very well ; [your]186-jameson loss . ”[2959-i] “ Maybe . ”[186-jameson] [She]186-jameson turns to leave . “ Nice to see [you]186-jameson again , though . [You]186-jameson must be very proud of [your]186-jameson achievements . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i rise and open the door in a rush . [She]186-jameson looks up at [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i clench [my]2959-i hand at [my]2959-i side to stop [myself]2959-i from touching [her]186-jameson . “ Goodbye , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ Goodbye , ”[186-jameson] [she]186-jameson breathes as the air swirls between [us]482-us . “ Thanks for giving [me]186-jameson a job . ”[186-jameson] [She]186-jameson smiles . [I]2959-i nod once . It ’s not the only job [I]2959-i have for [you]483-you . [She]186-jameson turns and walks out and into [the elevator]375-the elevator , and [I]2959-i slam the door and storm back into [[my]2959-i office]385-new york . [I]2959-i ’m not [her]186-jameson type . . . since when ? [I]2959-i hold the remote up to the security television screen and turn it back on . “ Get [me]2959-i [the fortieth floor]2440-the fortieth floor , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask the voice control . It flickers , and then a picture comes up with the fortieth floor . [I]2959-i watch as [she]186-jameson steps out of [the elevator]375-the elevator . “ Follow [her]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] The camera follows [her]186-jameson as [she]186-jameson walks up [the aisle]388-the aisle and then to [her]186-jameson seat at [her]186-jameson desk . “ Camera above [that area]385-new york , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i command . The screen flickers , and [she]186-jameson comes into view . [The office]385-new york is empty , and [she]186-jameson takes out [her]186-jameson phone and begins to scroll . [She]186-jameson crosses [her]186-jameson legs , and [I]2959-i sit forward as [her]186-jameson thigh becomes visible through the split . [I]2959-i watch [her]186-jameson as arousal swirls between [my]2959-i legs . So . . . fucking hot . [She]186-jameson ’s looking something up . “ Zoom in , ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i command . The camera zooms in , and [I]2959-i squint as [I]2959-i try to read what [she]186-jameson ’s googling . [Jameson Miles]186-jameson . [I]2959-i sit back and smile . [Bingo]100-bingo . Chapter 4 [Emily]186-jameson “ What about [this one]100-bingo ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron smiles . “ [Hot firefighter]2441-hot firefighter rescues kitten from a drain . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . “ [I]0-aaron ’ll do that story for sure . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron smirks . “ [Me]0-aaron too . ”[0-aaron] “ What are [you]0-aaron guys doing over the weekend ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly asks as [she]198-molly works . “ Nothing , ”[198-molly] [Aaron]0-aaron replies . “ Hopefully seeing [Paul]101-paul . ”[0-aaron] “ [Me]2959-i neither . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sigh . [Molly]198-molly looks up . “ [I]2959-i thought [you]0-aaron were going [home]2289-home to see [[your]0-aaron boyfriend]2443-your boyfriend ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . “ Well , [I]2959-i was supposed to , but [I]2959-i ’ve spoken to [him]2443-your boyfriend for four minutes in total in ten days , and [he]2443-your boyfriend has n’t called [me]2959-i once . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i swivel on [my]2959-i chair as [I]2959-i consider [my]2959-i depressing situation . “ [God]0-aaron , [you]0-aaron need to dump [him]2443-your boyfriend and move on to [Ricardo]246-alan . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . [Ricardo]246-alan works on this floor , and for the last few days [he]246-alan ’s been loitering around [my]2959-i desk and making idle chitchat . “ [He]246-alan ’s into [you]0-aaron , ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly mutters . “ [He]246-alan ’s hanging around [your]0-aaron desk like a fly . ”[198-molly] “ It ’s a shame . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk as [I]2959-i watch [him]246-alan talk to [someone]2326-someone at [their]2326-someone desk . “ [He]246-alan ’s actually very good looking . ”[246-alan] [Ricardo]246-alan ’s Italian and has the whole tall , dark , and handsome thing perfected to a tee . Unfortunately , [his]246-alan personality is n’t half as pretty as [his]246-alan face . [He]246-alan ’s either making fun of [someone]2326-someone or talking about [himself]246-alan in [the third person]489-the third person . “ [Yuck]103-yuck . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron widens [his]0-aaron eyes in disgust . “ What would [you]0-aaron even talk to [him]0-aaron about ? ”[0-aaron] “ [You]0-aaron would n’t talk to [him]0-aaron — [you’d]2444-you’d stick a ball gag in and fuck [him]0-aaron stupid , ”[77-ava] [Ava]77-ava says as [she]77-ava watches [him]0-aaron . “ [I]77-ava bet [he]0-aaron ’s hung like a horse , ”[77-ava] [she]77-ava whispers . [We]490-we all burst out laughing . “ What are [you]0-aaron doing this weekend ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask [Ava]77-ava . “ [She]77-ava ’ll be chasing [rich boys]2445-rich boys , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron says . “ Damn right . ”[0-aaron] [My]2959-i eyes flick to [her]77-ava . “ What does that even mean ? ”[0-aaron] “ [I]0-aaron hang out at clubs where [the men]378-the men have money . ”[0-aaron] “ Why ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ [I]2959-i am not ending up with a broke loser . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i mouth falls open in horror . “ So . . . [you]2959-i would marry [a guy just for money]2447-a guy just for money ? ”[2959-i] “ No . ”[77-ava] [She]77-ava shrugs . “ Maybe . ”[77-ava] [She]77-ava looks up . “ Oh no , here [he]266-jim comes , ”[77-ava] [she]77-ava whispers . [Ricardo]246-alan comes over and sits on the corner of [my]2959-i desk . [The floor manager]266-jim has gone [home]2289-home for the day , so [he]266-jim ’s not even bothering to pretend to work anymore . “ Hey there . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim smiles . “ Hi , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply flatly . Please go away — you’re embarrassing . “ [Ricardo]246-alan wanted to come and check on [his]246-alan favorite coworker . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at the stupid human being in front of [me]2959-i . “ Why do [you]2959-i speak about [yourself]2959-i in [the third person]489-the third person ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . [Aaron]0-aaron snickers as [he]266-jim pretends not to listen . “ [Ricardo]246-alan wonders why [you]2959-i never come to [his]246-alan desk to see [him]246-alan . ”[266-jim] “ [Emily]186-jameson likes to get [her]186-jameson work done , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i mutter flatly . “ Oh . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim laughs as [he]266-jim points at [me]2959-i . “ [Ricardo]246-alan likes [your]2959-i style , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i begin to work , and [he]266-jim stays sitting on the corner of [my]2959-i desk while [he]266-jim rambles , hardly coming up for air . Every now and then the four of [us]493-us exchange looks , unable to believe what a tool [this guy]266-jim is . From the corner of [my]2959-i eye [I]2959-i see the elevator doors open , and then [I]2959-i see [somebody]251-somebody run back to [their]251-somebody workstation . Huh ? [I]2959-i look up to see [Jameson Miles]186-jameson striding down [the carpeted corridor]495-the carpeted corridor toward [my]2959-i desk . [His]266-jim jaw is clenched , and [he]266-jim is glaring at [Ricardo]246-alan . [People]248-people are standing up in [their]248-people cubicles to see who it is , and when [they]248-people see [him]266-jim , [they]248-people immediately drop into [their]248-people chairs in fear . What the hell is [he]266-jim doing here ? [I]2959-i watch in slow motion as [he]266-jim comes to a halt in front of [my]2959-i desk . [Ricardo]246-alan glances over and then nearly swallows [his]246-alan tongue and stands immediately . “ [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan stammers . “ Hello , [sir]246-alan . ”[246-alan] “ What are [you]246-alan doing ? ”[79-mr. miles] [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles growls . “ [I]246-alan was training [[our]2449-our new employee]2450-our new employee , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan splutters . “ This is [Emily]186-jameson , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan says , introducing [me]2959-i . [Aaron]0-aaron ’s eyes meet [mine]2959-i in horror . “ [I]246-alan am well aware of who [Emily Foster]186-jameson is and how often [you]186-jameson frequent this desk . This is [your]186-jameson first and final warning , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan growls . “ Get back to work , and do not let [me]246-alan catch [you]186-jameson here again . ”[246-alan] The blood drains from [Ricardo]246-alan ’s face . “ Yes , [sir]246-alan , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan whispers . [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles glares at [him]246-alan and clenches [his]246-alan jaw in anger . “ Go . Now . ”[246-alan] [Ricardo]246-alan practically runs back to [his]246-alan desk , and [I]2959-i stare at the gorgeous creature in front of [me]2959-i . Gray suit , white shirt , paisley tie . [He]246-alan really is the epitome of suit porn . “ [Emily]186-jameson , [I]246-alan need to see [you]186-jameson in [[my]246-alan office]455-my office . Now , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan snaps before [he]246-alan turns and strides back toward [the elevator]375-the elevator , not bothering to wait for [my]2959-i reply . [I]2959-i swallow the lump in [my]2959-i throat as [I]2959-i stand . [Aaron]0-aaron ’s , [Ava]77-ava ’s , and [Molly]198-molly ’s eyes are wide with fear . “ What the fuck ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron mouths as [he]246-alan squeezes [my]2959-i hand in sympathy . [I]2959-i exhale heavily and turn and follow [the office god]498-the office god into [the elevator]375-the elevator as [everyone]2304-everyone watches . The doors close behind [us]500-we . [Jameson]186-jameson glares at the doors , and [I]2959-i twist [my]2959-i fingers nervously in front of [me]2959-i as [we]500-we fly up through [the floors]501-the floors . [Oh man]262-oh man , [he]262-oh man ’s going to fire [me]2959-i . [That stupid fucking Ricardo]246-alan has gotten [me]2959-i into trouble . This is all [his]246-alan fault . [I]2959-i was n’t even talking back to [him]246-alan . . . [you]503-you know . When [we]500-we get to the top floor , the doors open , and once again [he]246-alan strides off . [I]2959-i hesitate . Does [he]246-alan expect [me]2959-i to run after [him]246-alan ? [I]2959-i ’m not a fucking puppy . Who in the hell does [this asshole]246-alan think [he]246-alan is ? [I]2959-i fake a smile at [[his]246-alan receptionist]504-his receptionist and storm in after [him]246-alan . [He]246-alan holds the office door open for [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i brush past [him]246-alan . [He]246-alan closes the door and flicks the lock . “ What are [you]246-alan doing ? ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan snaps . “ Is that a trick question ? ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i hold [my]2959-i arms out wide . “ [I]2959-i ’m standing in [[your]2959-i office]2452-your office . What does it look like ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]246-alan mean , why the hell are [you]246-alan openly flirting with [that idiot]2453-that idiot from [downstairs]2454-downstairs ? ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan demands . [My]2959-i mouth falls open in horror . “ [I]2959-i was n’t flirting . ”[2959-i] “ Bullshit . [I]2959-i saw it with [my]2959-i own fucking eyes . ”[2959-i] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ Do n’t tell [me]2959-i [you]246-alan dragged [me]2959-i all the way up here to chastise [me]2959-i about talking at [my]2959-i desk while [I]2959-i work . ”[2959-i] “ [I]246-alan am not paying [you]246-alan to get hit on , [Emily]186-jameson , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan growls . [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i hands on [my]2959-i hips as fury begins to pump through [my]2959-i bloodstream . “ Listen here , [you]246-alan . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hold [my]2959-i finger up . “ Firstly , [I]246-alan ’ll get hit on by whomever [I]246-alan want . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan narrows [his]246-alan eyes and puts [his]246-alan hands on [his]246-alan hips , too , mirroring [my]2959-i stance . “ [Secondly”—I]104-secondly”—i[2959-i] put [my]2959-i second finger up—“as [[my]2959-i boss]2455-my boss , [you]246-alan do not get to comment on [my]2959-i dating life . ”[2959-i] “ Ha , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan huffs as [he]246-alan rolls [his]246-alan eyes in disgust . “ [Thirdly”—I]105-thirdly”—i[246-alan] hold three fingers up—“I’m new in [town]2456-town , and [I]2959-i have [no friends]2457-no friends , so if [he]246-alan ’s being nice , [I]2959-i ’m not going to be rude , am [I]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] “ Not on [my]246-alan time , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan growls . “ Did [you]246-alan really drag [me]2959-i all the way up here just to say that ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ No , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan barks . “ [I]246-alan want to know why [you]246-alan wo n’t go out with [me]246-alan . ”[246-alan] [My]2959-i face falls . “ Are [you]246-alan serious ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Deadly . ”[2959-i] The mood between [us]505-us changes and turns from anger to something else . “ Because [I]246-alan ca n’t risk losing [my]246-alan job if [we]505-us do n’t work out . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan stares at [me]2959-i for a moment . “ That job interview [you]246-alan were going for twelve months ago . Was it here ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pause for a moment . Now [I]2959-i ’m going to sound like [a loser]506-a loser . “ Yes . ”[2959-i] “ How long have [you]246-alan been trying to get a job here ? ”[2959-i] “ Three years , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i huff . “ So forgive [me]2959-i if [I]2959-i do n’t want to throw it away for a one - night stand . ”[2959-i] “ Why would [you]246-alan think [I]2959-i would fire [you]246-alan ? ”[2959-i] “ Is n’t that what [CEOs]106-ceos do when [they]106-ceos have finished with [[their]106-ceos secretaries]2458-their secretaries ? Throw [them]106-ceos to the side ? ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan frowns as [he]246-alan watches [me]2959-i . “ [I]246-alan would n’t know — [I’ve]2959-i never been attracted to [someone [I]246-alan work with]2459-someone i work with . And besides , [I]246-alan think [this place]399-sky bar is big enough that [we]2461-we could stay out of each other ’s way . ”[246-alan] “ [You]246-alan ’re still attracted to [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [You]246-alan know [I]246-alan am , and it ’s just dinner , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan snaps . “ [Nobody]2321-nobody would even know , and [I]246-alan most certainly would n’t fire [you]246-alan in the morning . ”[246-alan] “ So . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i try to work out what the hell it is that [he]246-alan wants . “ [You]246-alan would keep [me]246-alan a dirty little secret ? ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan steps forward so that [our]507-our faces are only an inch apart ; [our]507-our eyes are locked . Energy begins to spark between [us]507-our , and [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i arousal sweep in . “ Were [you]246-alan in a relationship when [we]507-our spent the night together ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ What makes [you]246-alan say that ? ”[2959-i] “ [You]246-alan never asked for [my]246-alan number . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan gives [me]2959-i a slow , sexy smile as [he]246-alan tucks a piece of [my]2959-i hair behind [my]2959-i ear . “ Does [everybody]2463-everybody ask for [your]246-alan number , [Emily]186-jameson ? ”[246-alan] [His]246-alan voice has dropped to a deep , sexy tone . “ Pretty much . ”[246-alan] “ [I]246-alan was n’t looking for anything back then , and [I]246-alan most definitely do n’t tell [people]248-people [I]246-alan ’m going to call [them]248-people if [I]246-alan ’m not . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan dusts [his]246-alan thumb over [my]2959-i bottom lip as [I]2959-i stare up into [his]246-alan big blue eyes . “ Tonight , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan whispers . [I]2959-i smile softly as [his]246-alan breath tickles [my]2959-i skin . [He]246-alan really is quite . . . “ [I]246-alan ’ll pick [you]246-alan up . Dinner at [[my]246-alan favorite Italian restaurant]2465-my favorite italian restaurant . . . ”[246-alan] [His]246-alan voice trails off as if [he]246-alan ’s imagining something else . Oh , that sounds good . [I]2959-i smile as [he]246-alan leans closer . [His]246-alan lips tenderly touch [mine]2959-i as [he]246-alan holds [my]2959-i jaw in [his]246-alan hand . [My]2959-i eyes close as [my]2959-i feet lift from the floor . [Robbie]56-robbie . . . what the hell am [I]2959-i doing ? Damn [this man]56-robbie . What is this spell that [he]246-alan has over [me]2959-i that makes [me]2959-i do the most random things ? Like one - night stands and forgetting [I]2959-i ’m in a committed relationship . . . and breathing . Oh [[my]2959-i God]2363-my god . [I]2959-i have [a boyfriend]450-a boyfriend . Shit . “ [I]2959-i ’m so sorry if [I]2959-i gave [you]2959-i the wrong idea . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i take a step back from [him]246-alan . “ [I]2959-i have [a boyfriend]450-a boyfriend , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i blurt out . [His]246-alan face falls in horror . “ What ? ”[246-alan] “ [I]2959-i know . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i wince . “ [I]2959-i . . . [I]2959-i . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shake [my]2959-i head because [I]2959-i have no words that can get [me]2959-i out of this . “ [I]2959-i have [a boyfriend]450-a boyfriend , and [I]2959-i ca n’t go out with [you]450-a boyfriend . ”[2959-i] “ Dump [him]246-alan , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan fires back . “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i croak . “ [You]450-a boyfriend heard [me]246-alan . Dump [him]246-alan . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan reaches for [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i step back to create distance between [us]510-us . “ Are [you]450-a boyfriend crazy ? ”[2959-i] “ Maybe . ”[246-alan] “ [I]2959-i ca n’t dump [a boyfriend]450-a boyfriend for one night of sex . ”[2959-i] “ Yes . [You]450-a boyfriend can . ”[2959-i] “ [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i drag [my]2959-i hands through [my]2959-i hair . “ Have [you]450-a boyfriend completely lost [your]450-a boyfriend mind ? ”[2959-i] “ Quite possibly . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan hands [me]2959-i a business card . “ Call [me]186-jameson , and [I]186-jameson ’ll come and get [you]450-a boyfriend . ”[186-jameson] [JAMESON]186-jameson MILES MILES MEDIA 212 - 639 - 8999 [I]2959-i stare at the card in [my]2959-i hand , [my]2959-i mind a clusterfuck of confusion . [My]2959-i eyes rise to meet [his]246-alan . [I]2959-i know what this is to [him]246-alan — it ’s just another one - night stand . One night that could ruin every plan [I]2959-i ’ve made for [myself]2959-i and jeopardize [my]2959-i career . [I]2959-i ’ve worked too damn hard to get to [New York]385-new york to throw it away now for one night with [a player]511-a player . It ’s the weirdest thing — [I]2959-i never picked [him]246-alan as [a player when [we]512-we were together]511-a player , but the more [I]2959-i get to know [him]246-alan , the more [I]2959-i realize [I]2959-i never knew [him]246-alan at all . The worst part about it is that [I]2959-i know [Jameson Miles]186-jameson is the kind of drug that [I]2959-i do n’t need an addiction to . The memory of [our]512-we night together is bad enough . “ [I]2959-i ’m sorry . [I]2959-i just ca n’t . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i turn to walk out of [the office]385-new york . [My]2959-i body screams for [me]2959-i to go back , and then [I]2959-i stop as a thought crosses [my]2959-i mind . [I]2959-i turn back toward [him]246-alan . “ How did [you]2959-i know ? ”[2959-i] [He]246-alan lifts [his]246-alan chin as [my]2959-i eyes search [his]246-alan . [I]2959-i walk back toward [him]246-alan . “ How did [you]2959-i know that [Ricardo]246-alan has been at [my]2959-i desk ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i glance around [the room]514-the room and see nothing but a mirror on the wall . “ Are there cameras in [here]385-new york ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ Never mind . ”[2959-i] “ Oh , but [I]2959-i do , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sneer . “ [I]246-alan think [I]246-alan have a right to know , if it concerns [me]246-alan . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan picks up a remote from [his]246-alan desk and pushes a button . “ Give [me]246-alan level forty , please , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan commands . The mirror turns into a television screen . It rolls a few times , and then a vision of [my]2959-i office floor appears . [I]2959-i see [Aaron]0-aaron and [Molly]198-molly and . . . [my]2959-i desk . What the hell ? “ [You]0-aaron ’ve been watching [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i gasp . “ Why ? ”[246-alan] [His]246-alan dark eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ Because it turns [me]246-alan on . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan grabs [my]2959-i hand and puts it over [his]246-alan crotch , and [I]2959-i can feel [his]246-alan rock - hard erection in [his]246-alan suit pants . The air leaves [my]2959-i lungs as [I]2959-i stare up at [him]246-alan , and unable to help it , [I]2959-i wrap [my]2959-i hand around [his]246-alan hard length . [We]515-we stare at each other as [our]515-we bodies ’ desires take over . “ [I]2959-i just ca n’t , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [His]246-alan hand cups [my]2959-i face . “ [I]246-alan want [you]246-alan . ”[246-alan] “ [You]246-alan do n’t always get what [you]246-alan want , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i breathe . “ [I]246-alan do . ”[246-alan] [His]246-alan mouth drops to [my]2959-i neck , and in slow motion , [he]246-alan licks from [my]2959-i collarbone up [my]2959-i neck and then whispers in [my]2959-i ear , “ Get rid of [him]246-alan . ”[246-alan] Goose bumps shoot up [my]2959-i spine , and [I]2959-i step back , overwhelmed by the physical effect [he]246-alan has on [me]2959-i . [He]246-alan grabs the erection in [his]246-alan pants and rearranges it as [we]516-we stare at each other . “ [I]2959-i ’ve got to get back to work , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i breathe . [He]246-alan glares at [me]2959-i , [his]246-alan face cold , and [my]2959-i chest rises and falls as [I]2959-i fight [my]2959-i arousal . It ’s taking every inch of [my]2959-i self - control not to jump on [him]246-alan , right here , right now . [He]246-alan ’s so hard under that suit . . . such a waste . No . [I]2959-i turn and walk out , take [the elevator]375-the elevator , and before [I]2959-i know it , [I]2959-i ’m back down to [my]2959-i floor . [My]2959-i heart is beating heavily in [my]2959-i chest , and [I]2959-i ’m in complete and utter shock . That may just be the hottest thing that ’s ever happened to [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i fall into [my]2959-i seat , visibly shaken . “ Oh [my]0-aaron God , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron whispers . [Molly]198-molly slides [her]198-molly seat over to [me]2959-i . “ Holy shit , what happened ? ”[198-molly] “ [I]2959-i have no idea , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i murmur as [my]2959-i eyes go to the ceiling . Where are the cameras ? [I]2959-i think back to what angle [I]2959-i saw on [his]0-aaron screen , and [I]2959-i look in that direction and see it . A small black glass dome . [I]2959-i glare at it , and [I]2959-i know [he]0-aaron ’s watching [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i can feel [his]0-aaron eyes on [my]2959-i skin . What ’s [he]0-aaron thinking about as [he]0-aaron watches [me]2959-i ? An unwelcome wave of excitement rushes through [me]2959-i as [I]2959-i imagine [him]0-aaron up there , hard and watching [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i feel like taking off [my]2959-i clothes and lying back on [my]2959-i desk and opening [my]2959-i legs to give [him]0-aaron something to really look at . Can [he]0-aaron hear what [we]518-we ’re saying ? Is there audio on that thing ? “ What happened ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron whispers . “ [I]2959-i ca n’t talk now . There are cameras , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i murmur with [my]2959-i head down . “ But [we]518-we need to have some seriously strong drinks after work . ”[2959-i] “ [Jesus]107-jesus , ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly whispers as [she]198-molly turns back to [her]198-molly computer . “ [Stupid fucking Ricardo]246-alan , ”[77-ava] [Ava]77-ava huffs . “ [He]246-alan ’s going to get [us]518-we all fired . Why did n’t [he]246-alan get hauled into [the damn office]2467-the damn office ? ”[77-ava] “ [I]2959-i know . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i open [my]2959-i email and stare at it for a moment as [I]2959-i try to calm [myself]2959-i down . [I]2959-i know exactly why . Because [Jameson Miles]186-jameson does n’t want to fuck [Ricardo]246-alan — [he]246-alan wants to fuck [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i bite [my]2959-i bottom lip to keep [my]2959-i slutty smile from escaping onto [my]2959-i face . [New York]385-new york is so fun . It ’s five thirty , and [we]519-we ’ve just left work and are standing on [the curb outside [the Miles Media building]521-the miles media building]520-the curb outside the miles media building while [we]519-we decide where to go for dinner . It ’s the weirdest thing ; it ’s as if along with this job , [I]2959-i was [gifted three friends]522-gifted three friends and unlimited options . Every night is Saturday night in [New York]385-new york . [We]519-we ’re all different ages , with different lifestyles , but somehow [we]519-we get along famously . [Ava]77-ava has a date and is n’t coming with [us]519-we , but [Aaron]0-aaron and [Molly]198-molly are by [my]2959-i side . “ What do [you]198-molly feel like eating ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly says as [she]198-molly scrolls through [her]198-molly phone . “ Something fattening and greasy . [Paul]101-paul has n’t called [me]0-aaron . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron sighs . “ [I]0-aaron ’m off [him]101-paul . ”[0-aaron] “ Oh God , will [you]198-molly dump [him]101-paul already ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly huffs with an eye roll . “ [I]198-molly swear [he]101-paul ’s seeing [someone else on the side]2468-someone else on the side , and besides , [he]101-paul ’s nowhere near hot enough for [you]198-molly . ”[198-molly] The front door of [the building]361-the building is opened by [a man in a black suit]524-a man in a black suit , and [the three of [us]2390-his brothers]2390-his brothers turn . [Jameson Miles]186-jameson walks out with [another man]526-another man . [The two of [them]2390-his brothers]2390-his brothers are deep in conversation and oblivious to [anyone else]527-anyone else . “ Who ’s that with [him]101-paul ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ That ’s one of [[his]101-paul brothers]2390-his brothers , [Tristan Miles]2430-tristan . [He]101-paul ’s in charge of global acquisitions , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron whispers as [his]0-aaron eyes stay glued to [them]2390-his brothers . “ [I]0-aaron swear to [God]0-aaron , [these men]2390-his brothers are so fucking hot it ’s unbearable . ”[0-aaron] [They]2390-his brothers have this charismatic air about [them]2390-his brothers , [their]2390-his brothers stances the epitome of power . [[Everyone]109-everyone around [them]2390-his brothers]528-everyone around them stops and stares . Fitted expensive suits , handsome as all hell , cultured , and wealthy . [I]2959-i swallow the lump in [my]2959-i throat as [I]2959-i watch in silence . In slow motion , [they]2390-his brothers walk out and get into the back of [the waiting black limousine]529-the waiting black limousine . [The driver]530-the driver shuts the door behind [them]2390-his brothers , and [we]531-we watch as it drives away . [I]2959-i turn to [[my]2959-i new friends]532-my new friends . “ [I]2959-i really need to talk to [somebody]251-somebody . ”[2959-i] “ About what ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron frowns . “ Can [you]0-aaron two keep a secret ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [They]2390-his brothers exchange looks . “ Yeah , of course [we]531-we can . ”[2390-his brothers] “ Let ’s get to [the bar]459-the bar . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sigh as [I]2959-i link [my]2959-i arms through [theirs]2390-his brothers and begin to drag [them]2390-his brothers to cross [the road]533-the road . “ [You]0-aaron ’re not going to believe what [I]198-molly have to tell [you]0-aaron . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly arrives with [our]534-our drinks on a tray and drops into [her]198-molly seat . “ So go . Did [he]0-aaron give [you]0-aaron a warning letter ? ”[198-molly] [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i margarita . “ Hmm , this is good . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i inspect the icy yellow fluid . [Aaron]0-aaron sips [his]0-aaron . “ Ew , [I]0-aaron hate [this bartender]0-aaron . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron winces . “ Will [you]0-aaron stop whining ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly snaps . “ It ’s like hanging out with [[my]198-molly fucking kids]2471-my fucking kids . ”[198-molly] “ This drink is too strong , ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron chokes . “ [I]198-molly notice [you]0-aaron did n’t get one . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly ’s attention comes back to [me]2959-i . “ Anyway , what ’s this secret ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [them]535-they . [God]0-aaron , [I]2959-i do n’t even know if [I]2959-i should be saying anything to [anyone]272-anyone , but [I]2959-i need [someone]2326-someone to talk to . “ Promise [me]2959-i [you]0-aaron wo n’t say anything to [anyone]272-anyone . Not even [Ava]77-ava , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ Yes . ”[535-they] [They]535-they both roll [their]535-they eyes . “ Okay , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i continue . “ [You]0-aaron know how [I]2959-i told [you]0-aaron [I]2959-i have been trying to get a job at [Miles Media]14-miles media for over three years ? ”[2959-i] “ Uh - huh . ”[0-aaron] “ Well , just over twelve months ago [I]0-aaron went to a wedding in [London]6-london , and [I]0-aaron was flying directly back to [New York]385-new york for an interview [here]385-new york . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron frowns as [he]0-aaron concentrates on [my]2959-i story . “ At [the airport in [London]6-london]2473-the airport in london , [this fruitcake man behind [me]0-aaron in the line]2474-this fruitcake man behind me in the line was having some kind of episode and started throwing [my]0-aaron bag around . ”[0-aaron] [They]535-they both stare at [me]2959-i , confused . “ Anyway , [the security guard]263-the security guard ushered [me]535-they to the check - in counter and told [the guy]56-robbie to look after [me]535-they . [I]535-they was given an upgrade to first class . ”[535-they] “ How cool . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron smiles and raises [his]0-aaron drink happily . [I]2959-i brace [myself]2959-i for the next part of the story . “ [I]2959-i was seated next to [this man]56-robbie , and [we]2477-we began drinking champagne and . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . “ The more [we]2477-we drank , the more inappropriate [we]2477-we got , and [we]2477-we began talking about [our]2477-we sex lives . ”[2959-i] “ Did [you]2959-i get kicked off [the plane]268-the plane ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron says , with wide eyes . “ No . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i drink . “ Could have easily , though . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron puts [his]0-aaron hand to [his]0-aaron chest in relief . “ Then there was a blizzard in [New York]385-new york , and [we]2477-we had to fly on to [Boston]385-new york for an overnight layover . [This guy]0-aaron was like . . . ridiculously hot . ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i remember [him]0-aaron . “ [He]0-aaron was so not [my]2959-i type , and [I]2959-i was n’t [his]0-aaron , but somehow [we]2477-we ended up fucking like rabbits all night long . It was the best sex [I]2959-i ’ve ever had in [my]2959-i life . ”[2959-i] “ [I]198-molly love this story . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly smiles . “ Go [you]198-molly . ”[198-molly] “ [I]198-molly never saw [him]0-aaron again . ”[198-molly] [Her]198-molly face falls . “ [He]0-aaron did n’t call ? ”[198-molly] “ [He]0-aaron never asked for [my]198-molly number . ”[198-molly] “ [Ouch]99-ouch . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron winces . “ [I]0-aaron know ; so [you]198-molly can imagine [my]0-aaron horror when [I]0-aaron saw [him]0-aaron at work this week . ”[0-aaron] “ What ? ”[538-they] [they]538-they both gasp . “ Oh [my]0-aaron God , it ’s fucking [Ricardo]246-alan , is n’t it ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron frowns as [he]0-aaron takes a big mouthful of [his]0-aaron drink . “ [I]0-aaron ca n’t handle this story . Please do n’t tell [me]0-aaron [you]198-molly fucked [him]0-aaron , and [he]0-aaron gave [you]198-molly an STD . [I]0-aaron wo n’t be able to cope . ”[0-aaron] “ It was [Jameson Miles]186-jameson . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly ’s eyes nearly bulge from [her]198-molly head . “ What ? ”[198-molly] “ Are [you]198-molly fucking kidding [me]0-aaron ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron gasps and accidentally snorts [his]0-aaron drink up [his]0-aaron nose and has a coughing fit . [They]539-they both stare at [me]2959-i , wide eyed . “ When [I]198-molly went to [[his]0-aaron office]426-his office on the tour , [he]0-aaron asked to be left alone with [me]198-molly . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly shakes [her]198-molly head . “ Is this real ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i nod . “ [I]198-molly have no words for this story , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly whispers . “ [I]0-aaron do — oh [[my]0-aaron fucking God]2480-my fucking god . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron hits [her]198-molly on the arm in excitement . “ What happened ? ”[0-aaron] “ [He]0-aaron asked [me]198-molly out to dinner . ”[198-molly] “ What the actual fuck ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly cries really loud . “ Shh , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [I]2959-i look at [the people around [us]541-us]540-the people around us . “ Keep [your]0-aaron voice down . ”[2959-i] “ Are [you]0-aaron serious ? ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly whispers . “ [I]198-molly said no . ”[198-molly] “ What ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron cries this time . “ Keep . [Your]0-aaron . Voice . Down , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i demand . “ [I]2959-i ca n’t go out with [him]0-aaron . [I]2959-i have [a boyfriend]2443-your boyfriend . ”[2959-i] “ [[Your]0-aaron boyfriend]2443-your boyfriend ’s a dick . [You]0-aaron even said so [yourself]0-aaron , ”[198-molly] [Molly stammers]198-molly . “ [I]0-aaron know , but [I]0-aaron ’m not wired like that . [I]0-aaron would never cheat on [somebody]251-somebody . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron shakes [his]0-aaron head . “ [Jameson Miles]186-jameson could wire [me]0-aaron any way [he]0-aaron wanted to . ”[0-aaron] “ Right ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly agrees . “ What happened today ? ”[198-molly] “ [He]0-aaron marched [me]542-me up to [[his]0-aaron office]426-his office and accused [me]542-me of getting hit on in [my]542-me working time . ”[542-me] [Their]542-me mouths fall open in horror . “ And . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pause . [I]2959-i probably should n’t tell [them]542-me [we]543-we are being watched . [I]2959-i ’ll keep that one to [myself]2959-i . [I]2959-i dig out [his]0-aaron card from [my]2959-i wallet and slide it across the table , and [Molly]198-molly picks it up and stares at it . “ Even [his]0-aaron name is hot . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly reads the card out loud . “ [Jameson Miles]186-jameson . Miles Media . 212 - 639 - 8999 . ”[198-molly] “ [I]2959-i told [him]0-aaron [he]0-aaron could n’t have everything [he]0-aaron wanted , and [he]0-aaron said [he]0-aaron does , and then [he]0-aaron licked [my]2959-i neck , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i blurt out . “ [He]0-aaron licked [your]2959-i neck ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron shrieks . “ Oh [Lord]2484-lord have mercy . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron picks up the menu and begins to fan [his]0-aaron face . “ Please tell [me]0-aaron [you]2959-i ’re going out with [him]0-aaron tonight . ”[0-aaron] “ No . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . “ [I]2959-i ca n’t , and besides , it ’s the fastest way [I]2959-i know how to get fired . ”[2959-i] “ No job is that good , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron snaps . “ [I]544-we would n’t turn [him]0-aaron down to be [the fucking president]0-aaron . ”[544-we] [We]544-we all giggle , and then [my]2959-i phone vibrates across the table . “ Oh . . . [my]198-molly fucking God , ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly whispers as [she]198-molly stares at [my]2959-i phone . “ It ’s [him]0-aaron . ”[198-molly] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer as [I]2959-i look down at the number lighting up the screen . [She]198-molly holds up the business card in [her]198-molly hands , and [we]544-we compare them . “ The number calling [you]0-aaron is fucking [him]0-aaron . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes widen . Holy shit . Chapter 5 “ Answer it , answer it , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron cries . “ What do [I]0-aaron do ? ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i flap [my]2959-i arms around in a panic . “ Holy fuck . Answer it , ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly demands as [she]198-molly picks it up . “ Do n’t answer it , ”[198-molly] [I]2959-i stammer as [I]2959-i try to grab it from [her]198-molly hands . [She]198-molly holds it in the air and waves it around . “ Answer it , [woman]198-molly , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly demands . [I]2959-i snatch it from [her]198-molly and stare at it while it buzzes . “ [I]0-aaron ’m not going to answer it . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron snatches the phone from [me]2959-i and hits answer . “ Hello , ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron says in [a fake girl]545-a fake girl ’s voice , and then [he]0-aaron passes it over to [me]2959-i . “ What the fuck ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i mouth . “ Hello , [Emily]186-jameson , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson ’s velvety voice purrs . [My]2959-i eyes widen as [I]2959-i look at [[my]2959-i friends]546-my friends ’ awestruck faces . [Aaron]0-aaron crosses [himself]0-aaron as if [he]0-aaron ’s in [church]547-church and makes a praying gesture . “ Hello . ”[0-aaron] “ Where are [you]186-jameson ? ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron asks . “ In [a bar]2485-a bar . ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i glance around as [I]2959-i hold [my]2959-i hand over [my]2959-i other ear to try to hear [him]0-aaron better . Shit , [I]2959-i ’m not telling [him]0-aaron where [I]2959-i am ; [I]2959-i look like crap . [I]2959-i hold [my]2959-i breath as [I]2959-i listen . “ [I]2959-i want to see [you]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i bite [my]2959-i bottom lip , and [Molly]198-molly hits [me]2959-i on the arm to snap [me]2959-i out of [my]2959-i nervous freeze . “ [I]2959-i told [you]2959-i [I]2959-i have [a boyfriend]450-a boyfriend , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i blurt out . “ [I]2959-i ca n’t see [you]2959-i . ”[2959-i] “ Holy fucking shit , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron mouths to [Molly]198-molly as [he]0-aaron scrunches [his]0-aaron hands in [his]0-aaron hair . “ And [I]0-aaron told [you]2959-i to get rid of [him]0-aaron . ”[0-aaron] “ Who do [you]2959-i think [you]2959-i are ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . [Molly]198-molly and [Aaron]0-aaron listen intently . “ Go outside . [I]0-aaron ca n’t hear [you]2959-i , ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron barks . [I]2959-i stand and walk through [the bar]459-the bar and outside onto [the curb]549-the curb , and it falls silent . “ That ’s better , ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron says . [I]2959-i glance up [the street]550-the street at [the cabs]551-the cabs all in a row . “ What do [you]2959-i want , [Jameson]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] “ [You]2959-i know what [I]0-aaron want . ”[0-aaron] “ [I]2959-i have [a boyfriend]450-a boyfriend . ”[2959-i] “ And [I]2959-i told [you]2959-i what to do . ”[2959-i] “ It ’s not that simple . ”[0-aaron] “ Yes , it is . Give [me]2959-i [his]56-robbie number , and [I]2959-i ’ll save [you]2959-i the job . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk at the audacity of [this man]56-robbie . “ [You]2959-i know , [your]2959-i arrogance is a turnoff . ”[2959-i] That ’s a blatant lie — not even close . “ And [you]2959-i ’re a turn - on . [I]2959-i ’ve been hard all day . Get over here , and put [me]2959-i out of [my]2959-i misery . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hear [my]2959-i heartbeat in [my]2959-i ears . Is this really happening ? [A drunk couple]553-a drunk couple totter past [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i have to move so [they]553-a drunk couple do n’t run into [me]2959-i . “ Sorry , ”[553-a drunk couple] [they]553-a drunk couple call . “ [I]2959-i ’m flying out to [California]12-california in the morning , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i blurt out . “ To see [him]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] “ Yes . ”[2959-i] “ [He]2959-i stayed behind ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i scrunch [my]2959-i face up tight . Damn it . Why did [I]2959-i say that ? “ Yes . ”[2959-i] “ When [you]2959-i see [him]2959-i , [I]2959-i want [you]2959-i to do something for [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] “ What ’s that ? ”[2959-i] “ Ask [him]2959-i if [he]2959-i feels like [he]2959-i might die if [he]2959-i does n’t get to touch [you]2959-i again . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ Why would [I]2959-i ask [him]2959-i that ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Because there ’s [another man who does]2488-another man who does . ”[2959-i] The phone clicks as [he]554-he hangs up . [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i stare at the phone in [my]2959-i hand as [I]2959-i feel tingles all the way to [my]2959-i toes . Holy fucking shit . [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i hand over [my]2959-i mouth ; [I]2959-i ca n’t believe this . [I]2959-i stumble back into [the bar]459-the bar to find [[my]2959-i two friends]556-my two friends bouncing in [their]556-my two friends chairs as [they]556-my two friends wait for [my]2959-i return . “ What happened ? ”[556-my two friends] [they]556-my two friends all but scream . [I]2959-i slump and put [my]2959-i hands in [my]2959-i hair . “ [He]0-aaron wanted [me]2959-i to go over to [[his]0-aaron place]2489-his place and put [him]0-aaron out of [his]0-aaron misery . ”[2959-i] “ Holy fucking shit , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron cries . “ Can [I]0-aaron have [your]0-aaron autograph ? ”[0-aaron] “ Are [you]0-aaron going ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly stammers . “ Please tell [me]2959-i [you]0-aaron ’re going . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shake [my]2959-i head . “ No . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i think for a moment . “ [He]0-aaron told [me]557-me to ask [[my]557-me boyfriend]2490-my boyfriend if [he]0-aaron felt like [he]0-aaron would die if [he]0-aaron did n’t get to touch [me]557-me again . ”[557-me] [They]557-me frown as [they]557-me listen . “ Because there is [another man who does]2488-another man who does . ”[557-me] “ What ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly screeches . “ Oh holy hell , [we]557-me need tequila . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly gets up and disappears to [the bar]459-the bar . “ [He]0-aaron asked [you]0-aaron to [[his]0-aaron place]2489-his place ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron squeaks . [I]2959-i nod . “ Do [you]0-aaron know where [he]0-aaron lives ? ”[2959-i] “ No . ”[557-me] “ [Park Avenue]16-park avenue , overlooking [Central Park]17-central park . ”[2959-i] “ How do [you]0-aaron know that ? ”[2959-i] “ [Google]110-google . [He]0-aaron used to live in [the One57 Billionaire Building]2493-the one57 billionaire building , but [he]0-aaron moved out of there and into [a building on [Park Avenue]16-park avenue]2494-his apartment . [[His]0-aaron apartment]2494-his apartment is worth something like fifty million . ”[557-me] “ Fifty million , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i gasp . “ Are [you]0-aaron serious ? How could anything be worth fifty million dollars ? That ’s just ridiculous . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron shrugs . “ Beats [me]2959-i . Must have gold toilets or something . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i giggle as [I]2959-i get a vision of [someone]2326-someone sitting on a gold toilet . [Molly]198-molly sits back in [her]198-molly seat and hands [me]2959-i a shot of tequila . “ Drink this , and then go and fuck [him]0-aaron stupid . ”[198-molly] “ [I]2959-i ’m not going , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ Well , what ’s the plan of attack ? ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly asks . “ Are [you]0-aaron playing hard to get ? ”[198-molly] “ No attack . [I]2959-i ’m going [home]2289-home to see [Robbie]56-robbie tomorrow . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i exhale heavily . “ [I]0-aaron need to sort out [our]2496-our relationship , and hopefully [he]0-aaron will come back with [me]0-aaron . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron rolls [his]0-aaron eyes in disappointment . “ Ca n’t [you]0-aaron at least be as excited about [Jameson Miles]186-jameson as [we]2496-our are ? ”[0-aaron] “ No . [I]2959-i ’m not . And remember , not a word to [anyone]272-anyone . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i drink . “ [I]2959-i know exactly what will happen with [Jameson Miles]186-jameson . [I]2959-i ’ll sleep with [him]0-aaron once , and then [he]0-aaron will move on to [[his]0-aaron next victim]2498-his next victim , and [I]2959-i ’ll be conveniently fired . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shake [my]2959-i head in disgust . “ [I]0-aaron ’ve worked too damn hard to get this job , and this is [the man who did n’t even want [my]0-aaron number the last time [we]2499-we slept together]0-aaron . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron turns up [his]0-aaron nose . “ God , why are [you]198-molly so sensible ? ”[0-aaron] “ [I]2959-i know , it totally sucks . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sigh . [Molly]198-molly ’s phone rings . “ Please let it be [Jameson Miles]186-jameson looking for a backup plan , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly huffs with an eye roll . “ Hello . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly frowns as [she]198-molly listens . “ Oh hello , [Margaret]111-margaret . Yes , [I]198-molly remember who [you]111-margaret are . [You]111-margaret ’re [[Chanel]112-chanel ’s mother]2500-chanel ’s mother . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly smiles as [she]198-molly listens , and then [her]198-molly face falls . “ What ? ”[198-molly] [Her]198-molly eyes widen . “ Are [you]111-margaret serious ? ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly pinches the bridge of [her]198-molly nose . “ Yes . ”[198-molly] It sounds like [she]198-molly ’s unable to get a word in . “ [I]198-molly can understand why [you]111-margaret ’re upset . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly narrows [her]198-molly eyes and shakes [her]198-molly head at [us]560-us . “ [I]0-aaron ’m so sorry . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron and [I]2959-i frown at each other . “ What ’s happened ? ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i mouth . “ How explicit are [we]560-us talking ? ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly asks . [Her]198-molly eyes widen . “ Oh [my]198-molly God , [I]198-molly ’m so sorry . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly listens . “ No , please , do n’t go to [the principal]2501-the principal . [I]198-molly appreciate [you]2501-the principal calling [me]198-molly first . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly closes [her]198-molly eyes as [she]198-molly listens . “ Once again , [my]198-molly sincere apologies . Thank [you]2501-the principal . [I]198-molly ’ll handle it , yes . Goodbye . ”[198-molly] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . [She]198-molly puts [her]198-molly head in [her]198-molly hands . “ Oh [[my]198-molly God]2363-my god . That was [[Chanel]112-chanel ’s mother]2500-chanel ’s mother , the girl [[my]198-molly son]2504-my son is crushing on . [She]2500-chanel ’s mother went through [Chanel]112-chanel ’s phone and found provocative messages between [them]2505-them . ”[198-molly] [I]2959-i bite [my]2959-i lip to stop [myself]2959-i from smiling as [I]2959-i listen . “ That ’s pretty normal in this day and age , is n’t it ? ”[198-molly] [I]2959-i try to make [her]198-molly feel better . “ [I]2959-i think [they]2505-them all do it . ”[2959-i] “ How old is [this girl]198-molly ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron asks . “ Fifteen , ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly cries . [I]2959-i giggle as [I]2959-i listen . God , [I]2959-i ca n’t imagine what it ’s like to have [a teenage son]561-a teenage son . [She]198-molly dials [[her]198-molly ex - husband]562-her ex - husband ’s number . “ Hello , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly snaps . “ Go into [[[your]0-aaron son]561-a teenage son ’s bedroom]2506-your son ’s bedroom , and grab [his]561-a teenage son phone , and throw the damn thing in [the toilet]2507-the toilet . [He]561-a teenage son is grounded for life . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly listens . [Aaron]0-aaron and [I]2959-i begin to giggle uncontrollably . “ [Michael]60-michael , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly says as [she]198-molly inhales deeply to try to calm down . “ [I]198-molly know [he]60-michael ’s been seeing [her]198-molly , and [I]198-molly know [she]198-molly probably likes it . [He]60-michael ’s fifteen years old , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly whispers angrily . “ Take [his]60-michael phone , or be prepared for [me]198-molly to come over and smash it . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly hangs up in a rush and puts [her]198-molly head down on the table and pretends to bang it continually . [Aaron]0-aaron and [I]2959-i burst out laughing , and [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i hand on [her]198-molly back . “ Do [you]2508-you want some more tequila , [Moll]198-molly ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask sweetly . “ Yes . . . [I]198-molly do . Make it a double , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly snaps angrily . [I]2959-i stand at the bar as [I]2959-i look over at the table , and [Aaron]0-aaron has [his]0-aaron hand over [his]0-aaron mouth in uncontrollable giggles . [I]2959-i drop [my]2959-i head to hide [my]2959-i goofy smile . This is hilarious . . . because it ’s not happening to [me]2959-i . “ Hey . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as [Robbie]56-robbie opens [his]56-robbie front door . “ Hey , [you]56-robbie . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie smiles as [he]56-robbie wraps [me]2959-i in [his]56-robbie arms . “ This is a surprise . ”[56-robbie] “ [I]56-robbie know . [I]56-robbie was missing [you]56-robbie , so [I]56-robbie flew [home]2289-home this morning for the night . ”[56-robbie] “ Come in . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie drags [me]2959-i into [[his]56-robbie converted garage]563-his converted garage . [I]2959-i could n’t sleep last night . [I]2959-i was worried about [my]2959-i feelings , and [I]2959-i ca n’t stop thinking about stupid [Jameson Miles]186-jameson . [I]2959-i got up and went straight to [the airport]254-the airport and caught the flight out . [I]2959-i look around [[Robbie]56-robbie ’s tiny studio apartment]565-robbie ’s tiny studio apartment and at the empty pizza boxes and dirty glasses lying around . “ What have [you]56-robbie been doing ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ Nothing much . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie smiles ; [he]56-robbie lies on the bed and taps it beside [him]56-robbie . [I]2959-i lie down , and [he]56-robbie slides [his]56-robbie hand up [my]2959-i top as [he]56-robbie looks down at [me]2959-i . “ Did [you]56-robbie go to any job interviews this week ? ”[56-robbie] [I]2959-i ask . “ Nah , nothing suited [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ Any job is a good job . . . is n’t it ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask hopefully . “ [I]56-robbie ’m waiting for the right one . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie kisses [me]2959-i softly . [I]2959-i stare up at [him]56-robbie as [I]2959-i feel [his]56-robbie erection grow up against [my]2959-i leg . “ [Robbie]56-robbie , come back to [New York]385-new york with [me]56-robbie . There are so many jobs [there]385-new york , and it would be a fresh start for [you]56-robbie . [We]2510-we could discover [the city]385-new york together . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie snatches [his]56-robbie hand away from [my]2959-i breast and pulls away from [me]2959-i . “ Do n’t start [your]56-robbie fucking shit . [I]56-robbie told [you]56-robbie [I]56-robbie ’m not moving to [New York]385-new york . ”[56-robbie] [I]2959-i sit up in a rush . “ What ’s stopping [you]56-robbie ? [You]56-robbie have no job here . What ’s holding [you]56-robbie back ? Explain it to [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] “ [I]56-robbie like living here . [I]56-robbie do n’t pay rent , and [[my]56-robbie mother]356-my mother cooks all [my]56-robbie food . [I]56-robbie have a good deal here . Why would [I]56-robbie leave ? ”[56-robbie] “ [You]56-robbie ’re twenty - five , [Robbie]56-robbie . ”[2959-i] “ What ’s that supposed to mean ? ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i snaps . “ Do n’t [you]56-robbie want to support [yourself]56-robbie and experience something different ? ”[2959-i] “ No . [I]56-robbie like it here . ”[56-robbie] “ [You]56-robbie need to grow up , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap , and [we]566-we both stand up . “ And [you]56-robbie need to come back to fucking earth . [The world]249-the world does n’t revolve around [you]56-robbie . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i want to live in [New York]385-new york . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i take [his]2959-i hand as [I]2959-i try to get through to [him]2959-i . “ [You]56-robbie should see [New York]385-new york , [Robbie]56-robbie . [You]56-robbie would love it [there]385-new york . It has this vibe like [I]2959-i ’ve never felt anywhere else . ”[2959-i] “ [New York]385-new york is [your]56-robbie dream , [Emily]186-jameson , not [mine]186-jameson . [I]2959-i ’m never moving there . ”[2959-i] Oh hell . [We]567-we are [worlds apart]568-worlds apart . “ How are [we]567-we supposed to be together from [different sides of [the country]385-new york]2513-different sides of the country ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask softly . [He]2959-i shrugs . “ [You]56-robbie should have thought of that before [you]56-robbie applied for this stupid job . ”[2959-i] “ It ’s not a stupid job . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i plead , “ Do n’t [you]56-robbie want to support [me]2959-i in [my]2959-i dream ? Are [you]56-robbie going to come and visit [me]2959-i at all ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i told [you]56-robbie — [I]2959-i do n’t like [cities]2514-cities . ”[2959-i] “ So what [you]56-robbie ’re saying is , if [I]2959-i do n’t fly back to [California]12-california , [I]2959-i wo n’t see [you]56-robbie at all . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i shrugs and sits down and picks up [his]2959-i PlayStation remote . “ Are [you]56-robbie serious ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap as [I]2959-i begin to see red . “ [I]2959-i flew all the way [home]2289-home to discuss [our]2516-our future , and [you]56-robbie ’re going to play fucking Fortnite . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i rolls [his]2959-i eyes and starts the game . “ Quit [your]56-robbie nagging . ”[2959-i] “ Quit [my]2959-i nagging , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ [I]2959-i do n’t want to live in [[[your]56-robbie fucking parents]2517-your fucking parents ’ garage]2518-your fucking parents ’ garage , [Robbie]56-robbie . ”[2959-i] “ Do n’t , then . ”[2959-i] “ What is wrong with [you]56-robbie ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i cry in outrage . “ Why do [you]56-robbie want to waste away here ? [You]56-robbie ’re twenty - five , [Robbie]56-robbie . [You]56-robbie need to grow up . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i rolls [his]2959-i eyes . “ If [you]56-robbie flew all the way back here to be [a bitch]2519-a bitch , [you]56-robbie need n’t have bothered . ”[113-steam] [Steam]113-steam shoots from [my]2959-i ears . “ If [I]2959-i walk out that door , [Robbie]56-robbie , [we]2520-we are over , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say . [His]2959-i eyes rise to meet [mine]2959-i . “ [I]2959-i mean it , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [I]2959-i want [you]56-robbie in [my]2959-i life , but [I]2959-i wo n’t sacrifice [my]2959-i happiness because [you]56-robbie are too fucking lazy to get off [your]56-robbie ass and make a future for [yourself]56-robbie . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i clenches [his]2959-i jaw and goes back to [his]2959-i game . [He]2959-i begins to play . [I]2959-i watch [him]2959-i through tears as [I]2959-i hear [my]2959-i angry heartbeat in [my]2959-i ears . “ [Robbie]56-robbie , please , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Come with [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i keeps [his]2959-i eyes on the screen as [he]2959-i begins to shoot [people]248-people in [his]2959-i game . “ Close the door on [your]56-robbie way out . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i puts [his]2959-i headphones on to block [me]2959-i out . [I]2959-i get a lump in [my]2959-i throat as [I]2959-i finally see [our]570-our relationship for what it really is . A sham . [I]2959-i take a long look around [[his]2959-i room]571-his room as [he]2959-i plays [his]2959-i game , and [I]2959-i know that this is it . The defining moment where [I]2959-i decide what [I]2959-i ’m worth . What [I]2959-i want from life . [I]2959-i ca n’t save [him]2959-i . . . if [he]2959-i does n’t want to be saved . What [I]2959-i want is [someone who wants to grow with [me]2959-i]572-someone who wants to grow with me , and [I]2959-i do n’t even know what growth [I]2959-i want . But [I]2959-i ca n’t be stagnant here in [[[his]2959-i parents]2353-his parents ’ garage]2354-his parents ’ garage any longer . [I]2959-i do n’t even know who [he]2959-i is anymore . . . but this is n’t [me]2959-i . [The woman [I]2959-i want to be lives in [New York]385-new york]575-the woman i want to be lives in new york and has the job of [her]575-the woman i want to be lives in new york dreams . Sadness overwhelms [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i know what [I]2959-i have to do . [I]2959-i walk over to [him]2959-i and take [his]2959-i headphones off . “ [I]2959-i ’m going . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i stares at [me]2959-i . “ [You]2959-i ’re better than this , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [He]2959-i clenches [his]2959-i jaw . “ [Robbie]56-robbie , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [You]2959-i ’re much more than just [a football star]2521-a football star . [You]2959-i need to believe that . ”[2959-i] [His]2959-i eyes search [mine]2959-i . “ Go and get some help . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look around [[his]2959-i room]571-his room . “ It ’s going to be too late for [us]2522-us , but [I]2959-i want it for [you]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i drops [his]2959-i head and stares at the floor . [I]2959-i take [his]2959-i hand in [mine]2959-i . “ Come with [me]2959-i , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Please , [Robbie]56-robbie , pull out of this . . . if not for [me]2959-i , for [yourself]2959-i . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i ca n’t , [Em]2523-em . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes fill with tears , and [I]2959-i bend and kiss [him]2959-i softly one last time . [I]2959-i rub [my]2959-i fingers through [his]2959-i stubble and stare into [his]2959-i eyes . “ Go and find whatever it is that makes [you]2959-i happy , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [You]2959-i too , ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i breathes sadly . [I]2959-i realize [he]2959-i does n’t even want to fight it ; [he]2959-i knows this is for the best . [I]2959-i smile at the bittersweet moment , and [I]2959-i kiss [him]2959-i softly , with tears rolling down [my]2959-i cheeks . [I]2959-i get into [[[my]2959-i mother]356-my mother ’s car]578-my mother ’s car and stare at [[his]2959-i house]369-the car for an extended time . That was much easier and much harder than [I]2959-i imagined . [I]2959-i slowly start [the car]369-the car and pull out onto [the road]533-the road . [I]2959-i wipe [my]2959-i tears with [my]2959-i forearm as [I]2959-i feel a chapter of [my]2959-i life close . [I]2959-i drive down [the road]533-the road and out of [Robbie McIntyre]56-robbie ’s life . “ Goodbye , [Robbie]56-robbie , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper out loud . “ When it was good , it was great . ”[2959-i] Monday morning “ And what do [you]56-robbie think would happen if [you]56-robbie told the police of [your]56-robbie suspicions ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ Nothing . Nothing at all , ”[581-the frail old woman] [the frail old woman]581-the frail old woman replies . [She]581-the frail old woman has to be at least ninety . [Her]581-the frail old woman white hair is in perfect finger waves , and [her]581-the frail old woman dress is a pretty shade of mauve . “ [They]2524-they ’re useless . ”[581-the frail old woman] [I]2959-i dutifully scribble down [her]581-the frail old woman reply on [my]2959-i notepad . [I]2959-i ’m out in [the field]582-the field today , following up [my]2959-i own lead . There has been a string of satanic graffiti on the fronts of [houses]583-houses lately , and [[this particular woman]581-the frail old woman ’s house]584-this particular woman ’s house has been done three times . Fed up with the lack of support from [the police department]585-the police department , [she]581-the frail old woman contacted [Miles Media]68-miles media , and [I]2959-i was the lucky one who picked up the phone . “ So . . . tell [me]2959-i when this all began , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ Back in November . ”[581-the frail old woman] [She]581-the frail old woman pauses as [she]581-the frail old woman tries to remember . “ November sixteenth was the first time . A huge mural of the devil [himself]2525-himself . ”[581-the frail old woman] “ Right . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look up from [my]2959-i notes . “ What did it look like ? ”[2959-i] “ Evil . ”[581-the frail old woman] [She]581-the frail old woman gets a faraway look in [her]581-the frail old woman eye . “ Pure evil , so lifelike , with huge fangs and blood dripping everywhere . ”[581-the frail old woman] “ It must have been terrifying for [you]2526-you . ”[2959-i] “ It was . That was the night when [a jewelry store]2527-a jewelry store got robbed around the corner , so [I]2959-i remember it well . ”[2959-i] “ Oh . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . [She]581-the frail old woman did n’t mention this before . “ Do [you]2526-you think it ’s related ? ”[581-the frail old woman] [She]581-the frail old woman stares at [me]2959-i blankly . “ The graffiti and the robbery , [I]2959-i mean , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i clarify . “ Do n’t know . ”[581-the frail old woman] [She]581-the frail old woman pauses for a moment and then contorts [her]581-the frail old woman face as if in pain . “ [I]581-the frail old woman ’ve never thought of that before , but it ’s all making sense now . [The police]368-the police are in on this conspiracy . ”[581-the frail old woman] [She]581-the frail old woman begins to pace . “ Yes , yes , that ’s it . ”[581-the frail old woman] [She]581-the frail old woman taps [her]581-the frail old woman hand on the top of [her]581-the frail old woman head as [she]581-the frail old woman walks back and forth . Hmm . There ’s something off here . Is [this woman of sound mind]581-the frail old woman ? “ What did [you]2526-you do when [you]2526-you found the graffiti on [[your]2526-you house]579-my house ? ”[581-the frail old woman] “ [I]581-the frail old woman called [the police]368-the police , and [they]368-the police told [me]581-the frail old woman that [they]368-the police do n’t have time to come out for graffiti but to take a picture of it and email it to [them]368-the police . ”[581-the frail old woman] “ And [you]2526-you did that ? ”[581-the frail old woman] “ Yes . ”[581-the frail old woman] “ What happened then ? ”[581-the frail old woman] “ [[My]581-the frail old woman son]2504-my son got [[my]581-the frail old woman house]579-my house acid washed and removed it , but three nights later it happened again . But this time it was an image of [someone getting murdered]2531-someone getting murdered . [A woman]339-a woman had been stabbed . The graffiti was so intricate that it looked like a painting . ”[581-the frail old woman] “ Oh . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i continue to take notes . “ What did [you]2526-you do this time ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]581-the frail old woman went down to [the police station]2533-the police station and demanded [someone]2326-someone come and look at [[my]581-the frail old woman house]579-my house . [[My]581-the frail old woman neighbor]2535-my neighbor had [[his]2959-i house]579-my house vandalized too . ”[581-the frail old woman] “ Okay . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i scribble down [her]586-her story . “ What ’s [[your]2526-you neighbor]2535-my neighbor ’s name ? ”[2959-i] “ Robert Day Daniels . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i glance up from [my]2959-i notes , surprised by [his]2959-i name . “ [His]2959-i name is [Robert Day Daniels]114-robert day daniels ? ”[2959-i] “ Or is it [Daniel Day Roberts]115-daniel day roberts ? ”[586-her] [Her]586-her voice trails off as [she]586-her thinks . “ Hmm . ”[586-her] [I]2959-i stare at [her]586-her as [I]2959-i wait for [her]586-her to decide which it is . “ [I]586-her forgot [his]2959-i name . ”[586-her] [She]586-her scrubs [her]586-her hands in [her]586-her hair as if about to launch into a panic . “ That ’s okay . [I]586-her ’ll just write [Robert Day Daniels]114-robert day daniels for the moment , and then [we]2536-we ’ll come back to it a little later . ”[586-her] “ Yes , okay . ”[586-her] [She]586-her smiles , pleased that [I]2959-i ’m not pushing [her]586-her for an exact name . “ What was drawn on [[his]2959-i house]2537-the entire house ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ One of those horrible devil stars . ”[2959-i] “ [I]586-her see . Tell [me]586-her , what did [the police]368-the police do this time ? ”[586-her] “ Nothing . [They]368-the police did n’t even come out here . ”[2959-i] “ [They]368-the police ’re very busy , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reassure [her]586-her as [I]2959-i write . “ Tell [me]2959-i about the last time it happened . ”[2959-i] “ [The entire house]2537-the entire house was painted red . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i glance up in surprise . “ [The entire house]2537-the entire house was red ? ”[2959-i] “ [The whole street]2539-the whole street . ”[2959-i] Uneasiness sweeps over [me]2959-i . “ That is weird . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . [She]586-her leans in close so that only [I]2959-i can hear [her]586-her . “ Do [you]586-her think it ’s [the devil]2540-the devil ? ”[586-her] [she]586-her whispers . “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ No , it ’s probably just [kids]2541-kids acting up , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say , trying to reassure [her]586-her . “ Have [you]586-her told [anyone else]527-anyone else about this ? ”[2959-i] “ No , only [Miles Media]14-miles media . [I]2959-i want [you]586-her to publish this story so that [the police]368-the police will actually pay some attention . [I]2959-i ’m getting scared that it ’s something more sinister . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i take [her]586-her hand in [mine]2959-i . “ Yes , [I]2959-i think [we]2544-we have enough to go forward with the story . ”[2959-i] “ Oh , thank [you]2959-i , [dear]2959-i . ”[586-her] [She]586-her holds [my]2959-i hand tightly . “ Is there anything else [you]2959-i can think of that may be relevant ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ Just that [I]2959-i ’m living in fear every night that [the devil]2540-the devil is coming back . [[My]2959-i neighbors]2546-my neighbors said to go and speak to [them]2546-my neighbors too . ”[2959-i] “ Okay , great . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hand [her]586-her [my]2959-i card . “ If [you]2959-i think of anything else , please call [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] “ Yes , [I]586-her will . ”[586-her] [She]586-her clutches the card . [I]2959-i go down [the street]550-the street and interview [seven more people]588-seven more people , and the stories all correlate . [I]2959-i definitely have enough evidence to go forward . [I]2959-i go back to [the office]385-new york and type the story up and hand it in to [Hayden]266-jim . It feels good breaking news . [I]2959-i sit at [my]2959-i desk and stare at [my]2959-i computer screen . It ’s four o’clock on Monday , and [I]2959-i ’m in a funk . Since [I]2959-i got back to [New York]385-new york late last night , [I]2959-i ’ve had a bad case of the guilts . Even though [I]2959-i knew that [Robbie]56-robbie and [I]2959-i were reaching [our]590-we expiration date , [I]2959-i kind of feel like [I]2959-i sped it up and did n’t let it run its course . But then , on the other hand , [we]590-we ’d been stagnant for months , and if [I]2959-i took this job knowing [he]56-robbie was n’t coming with [me]2959-i . . . [I]2959-i think [I]2959-i subconsciously knew [we]590-we were close to the end . “ [The god]2547-the god is here , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron whispers . [I]2959-i glance up . “ Who ? ”[0-aaron] “ [Tristan Miles]2430-tristan , ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron whispers . [I]2959-i spy over the screening above [my]2959-i desk as [he]0-aaron talks to [the manager of the floor]591-the manager of the floor , [Rebecca]116-rebecca . [He]0-aaron ’s wearing a pin - striped navy suit , [his]0-aaron brown wavy hair is in just - fucked perfection , and [he]0-aaron has this dreamy smile on [his]0-aaron face as [he]0-aaron talks . [He]0-aaron has the whitest teeth [I]2959-i ’ve ever seen and huge dimples . “ [She]116-rebecca ’s giggling like [a schoolgirl]2548-a schoolgirl . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron frowns . “ [He]0-aaron ’s never on this level , ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly says . “ What do [you]198-molly reckon [he]0-aaron ’s doing here ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron whispers as [his]0-aaron eyes stay glued to the fine specimen . “ [His]0-aaron job , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply flatly . “ [He]0-aaron does work here , [you]198-molly know . ”[2959-i] The more [I]2959-i think about it , the more [I]2959-i know [I]2959-i ’ve romanticized this whole Jameson Miles thing . [He]0-aaron does n’t like [me]2959-i — [he]0-aaron ’s just horny , and there ’s a big difference . [He]0-aaron ’s probably had sex with [five women]592-five women since Friday night when [I]2959-i spoke to [him]0-aaron . [I]2959-i have n’t heard from [him]0-aaron since , and [I]2959-i do n’t want to either . [I]2959-i did n’t leave [Robbie]56-robbie because [Jameson]186-jameson told [me]2959-i to ; [I]2959-i left [Robbie]56-robbie because [he]0-aaron ’d stopped putting in any effort . If [Jameson]186-jameson knows [we]593-we broke up , [he]0-aaron ’s going to assume it ’s because [I]2959-i want to sleep with [him]0-aaron . . . and [I]2959-i do n’t . [I]2959-i really do n’t . [Stupid men]594-stupid men . [I]2959-i ’m not telling [my]2959-i coworkers that [we]593-we broke up . [I]2959-i do n’t want to make a fanfare of it . [I]2959-i want to take [my]2959-i time to get [my]2959-i head around it . [Tristan Miles]2430-tristan says something , and [Rebecca]116-rebecca laughs . Then [he]0-aaron disappears into [the elevator]375-the elevator , and [we]593-we all get back to work . [I]2959-i struggle with [my]2959-i umbrella as [I]2959-i trudge down the pavement in the rain . [New York]385-new york is n’t as dreamy in the wet . [I]2959-i grab [the Gazette]596-the gazette while [I]2959-i ’m waiting for the lights to change and stuff it in [my]2959-i bag . [I]2959-i ’ll read this while [I]2959-i wait for [my]2959-i coffee . [My]2959-i phone rings . “ Hello , [Emily Foster]186-jameson speaking , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i answer as [I]2959-i power walk among [the crowd]265-the crowd . “ Hello , [Emily]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] a familiar voice says . [I]2959-i frown , unable to place who it is . “ Who ’s speaking , please ? ”[2959-i] “ This is [Marjorie]198-molly . [We]2549-we spoke yesterday . ”[598-the graffiti lady] Oh shit — [the graffiti lady]598-the graffiti lady . “ Oh yes , hello , [Marjorie]198-molly . It ’s a bad line , and [I]2959-i could n’t hear [you]598-the graffiti lady properly , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i lie . “ It ’s [Danny Rupert]117-danny rupert , ”[598-the graffiti lady] [she]598-the graffiti lady replies . “ [I]2959-i ’m sorry ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ [[My]2959-i neighbor]2535-my neighbor ’s name is [Danny Rupert]117-danny rupert . [I]2959-i could n’t remember it yesterday . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i screw up [my]2959-i face and cringe . Oh God . [I]2959-i hope it has n’t gone to print . [I]2959-i completely forgot to go back to it . Panic begins to swirl in [my]2959-i stomach . Shit . “ [I]2959-i think the story has already gone to print , [Marjorie]198-molly . [I]2959-i ’m so sorry [I]2959-i did n’t recheck it with [you]0-aaron . ”[2959-i] “ Oh , that ’s okay , [dear]0-aaron . It does n’t matter — no harm done . [I]2959-i felt foolish being unable to remember , and [I]2959-i wanted to call [you]0-aaron . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i stomach rolls . It does matter — [you]0-aaron do n’t get names wrong in a story . Reporting 101 . Fuck . [I]2959-i puff air into [my]2959-i cheeks as disappointment in [myself]2959-i runs through [me]2959-i . Damn it . This is not a little mistake ; it ’s a major fuckup . “ Thanks for the call , [Marjorie]198-molly . [I]2959-i ’ll call [you]0-aaron when [I]2959-i get into [the office]385-new york and let [you]0-aaron know when it ’s running . ”[2959-i] With any luck it wo n’t be until tomorrow , and [I]2959-i will have time to change it . [I]2959-i hang up and internally kick [myself]2959-i . Damn it . Focus . [I]2959-i walk into the café opposite [the Miles Media building]521-the miles media building and order [my]2959-i coffee . [I]2959-i drag the paper out of [my]2959-i bag and slam it onto the table . [I]2959-i am not going to hold on to this job with sloppy mistakes like that . [I]2959-i ’m so annoyed at [myself]2959-i . [I]2959-i flick through the paper , and then something catches [my]2959-i eye . Satanic Graffiti in [New York]385-new york A spate of bizarre graffiti attacks on houses in the [West Village]18-west village has [the residents]601-the residents running scared . [[Marjorie Bishop]0-aaron ’s house]602-marjorie bishop ’s house has been graffitied three times , and [the police]368-the police are refusing to take action . [Another resident]604-another resident , [Robert Day Daniels]114-robert day daniels , has been suffering too . [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i read the story . What ? [Marjorie]0-aaron said [she]0-aaron did n’t tell [anyone]272-anyone about this other than [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i read it again and again . It quotes [my]2959-i story almost word for word , and each time [I]2959-i get more confused . Did [she]0-aaron tell [another reporter the same wrong name]606-another reporter the same wrong name ? [I]2959-i take out [my]2959-i phone and dial [her]0-aaron number , and [she]0-aaron answers on the first ring . “ Hello , [Marjorie]0-aaron , this is [Emily Foster]186-jameson . ”[0-aaron] “ Oh hello , [dear]0-aaron ; that was quick . ”[0-aaron] “ [Marjorie]0-aaron , did [you]0-aaron speak to [anyone else]527-anyone else from another paper about this graffiti story ? ”[0-aaron] “ No , [dear]0-aaron . ”[0-aaron] “ [You]0-aaron have n’t told [anyone]272-anyone ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ Not a soul . [The street]550-the street and [I]2959-i made a collective decision that [we]2555-we only wanted [Miles Media]68-miles media to report on [it]68-miles media . That way [we]2555-we knew [the police]368-the police would have to listen . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i begin to hear [my]2959-i heartbeat in [my]2959-i ears . What the hell is going on ? “ Coffee for [Emily]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] the cashier calls . “ Thank [you]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i take [my]2959-i coffee and head back out into the rain , confused as all hell . It ’s one o’clock , and [I]2959-i ’m on [my]2959-i lunch break . [I]2959-i arrive at [the top floor]607-the top floor and walk through to reception . “ Hello . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile nervously . “ [I]2959-i ’m here to see [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles . It ’s an urgent matter . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ’ve been racking [my]2959-i brain all day , and the only theory [I]2959-i can come up with is n’t pretty . [I]2959-i need to talk to [Jameson]186-jameson . [The blonde receptionist]608-the blonde receptionist smiles . “ Just a moment , please . [Your]186-jameson name is ? ”[608-the blonde receptionist] “ [Emily Foster]186-jameson . ”[608-the blonde receptionist] [She]608-the blonde receptionist pushes the intercom . “ [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles , [I]608-the blonde receptionist have an [Emily Foster]186-jameson here to see [you]186-jameson . ”[608-the blonde receptionist] “ Send [her]608-the blonde receptionist in , ”[186-jameson] [his]186-jameson velvety voice purrs without hesitation . [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i stomach dip with nerves , and [I]2959-i follow [her]608-the blonde receptionist out into [the corridor]609-the corridor and across [the marble]610-the marble . Damn it , [I]2959-i still have n’t bought rubber - soled shoes yet . [I]2959-i try to tiptoe so [I]2959-i do n’t click as [I]2959-i walk . “ Just knock on the end door . ”[2959-i] Holy shit . [My]2959-i heart begins to pump , and [I]2959-i force a smile . “ Thank [you]2959-i . ”[608-the blonde receptionist] [She]608-the blonde receptionist disappears up [the hall]611-the hall , and [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes as [I]2959-i stand in front of the door , bracing [myself]2959-i . Okay , here goes . Knock , knock , knock . “ Come in , ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i hear [Jameson]186-jameson call . [I]2959-i scrunch [my]2959-i eyes shut as nerves dance deep in [my]2959-i stomach . [I]2959-i open the door , and there [he]186-jameson sits in a navy suit . With [his]186-jameson white shirt , dark hair , and piercing blue eyes , [he]186-jameson looks like [God]0-aaron ’s gift to [women]276-women . Maybe [he]186-jameson is . “ Hello , [Emily]186-jameson , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers as [his]186-jameson sexy eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ Hello . ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson stands and stares at [me]2959-i . [Our]613-our eyes are locked , and the air swirls between [us]613-our . “ Please , take a seat . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i fall into the chair , and [he]186-jameson sits behind [his]186-jameson desk and leans back in [his]186-jameson chair ; [his]186-jameson eyes do n’t leave [me]2959-i . “ [I]2959-i wanted to see [you]186-jameson about something , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say as [I]2959-i glance at the glass of scotch beside [him]186-jameson . [I]2959-i do n’t know what kind of work has scotch involved , but where ’s [my]2959-i glass ? [I]2959-i could do with a drink or ten right now . [He]186-jameson sits back and smirks as if amused . “ Umm . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i pause and swallow the sand in [my]2959-i throat . “ So something has happened , and [I]2959-i know [I]2959-i could get into trouble for it , but [I]2959-i feel like [you]186-jameson need to know , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i blurt out in a rush . “ Such as ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]186-jameson got a name wrong in a story . ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson ’s unimpressed eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ But it ’s the weirdest thing , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . “ Today the Gazette has published the same story . . . with [my]186-jameson error in it . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson frowns . “ What ? ”[186-jameson] “ Look , [I]2959-i do n’t know , and [I]2959-i could be totally wrong , and [I]2959-i do n’t know why [I]2959-i ’m even telling [you]186-jameson this , but [I]2959-i think . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pause . “ [You]186-jameson think what ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson snaps . “ [I]2959-i just know for certain that [the Gazette]596-the gazette did n’t get that story [themselves]596-the gazette , and [they]596-the gazette most definitely could n’t make the same mistake as [I]2959-i have . [The old lady in the story]2558-the old lady in the story contacted [me]2959-i directly because [she]2558-the old lady in the story would only talk to [Miles Media]68-miles media . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i put the Gazette down on the desk in front of [him]186-jameson , and [he]186-jameson reads it and stares at [me]2959-i for a moment as if processing [my]2959-i words . “ Are [you]2558-the old lady in the story sure ? ”[186-jameson] “ Positive . [I]2959-i got the name wrong . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i point to the name where [my]2959-i mistake was made . “ This here is [my]186-jameson error . ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson brushes [his]186-jameson thumb back and forth over [his]186-jameson bottom lip as [he]186-jameson stares at the paper before [him]186-jameson , deep in thought . “ Thank [you]2558-the old lady in the story . [I]186-jameson ’ll discuss this with [Tristan]2430-tristan and get back to [you]2558-the old lady in the story . ”[186-jameson] “ Okay . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stand . “ [I]2959-i ’m sorry for making the error . It was unprofessional , and it wo n’t happen again . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes go to [Jameson]186-jameson , and [I]2959-i wait for [him]186-jameson to say something . Is that it ? “ Goodbye , [Emily]186-jameson , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson says flatly . Oh , [he]186-jameson ’s dismissing [me]2959-i . “ Goodbye . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i turn , feeling dejected , and make [my]2959-i way [downstairs]2454-downstairs . [I]2959-i do n’t know whether [I]2959-i just did the right thing by telling [him]186-jameson [my]2959-i theory . Maybe it will only work against [me]2959-i . It ’s four o’clock , and [I]2959-i ’m drinking [my]2959-i afternoon coffee . [My]2959-i phone rings , and [I]2959-i answer it . “ Hello . ”[2959-i] “ Hello , [Emily]186-jameson , this is [Sammia]246-alan . [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles would like to see [you]186-jameson in [[his]186-jameson office]426-his office , please . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ Now ? ”[2959-i] “ Yes , please . ”[2959-i] “ Okay . [I]2959-i ’m on [my]2959-i way up . ”[2959-i] Ten minutes later , [I]2959-i knock on [Jameson]186-jameson ’s door . “ Come in , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson calls . [I]2959-i walk in and find [him]186-jameson sitting behind [his]186-jameson large desk . [His]186-jameson face breaks into a sexy smile as [his]186-jameson eyes find [mine]2959-i . “ Hello . ”[186-jameson] [My]2959-i stomach dances with nerves . “ Hi . ”[186-jameson] “ Have [you]2959-i had a good day ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson asks , and in slow motion [I]2959-i watch as [his]186-jameson tongue swipes over [his]186-jameson bottom lip . [He]186-jameson ’s different this afternoon . [He]186-jameson has a playful air about [him]186-jameson . “ [You]2959-i wanted to see [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ Yes , [I]186-jameson ’ve spoken to [Tristan]2430-tristan , and [we]2560-we have a special project that [we]2560-we would like [you]2959-i to work on , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson says as [he]186-jameson leans back in [his]186-jameson chair . “ [You]2959-i do ? ”[186-jameson] “ Yes . [We]2560-we want [you]2959-i to write a story to publish . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i swallow the lump in [my]2959-i throat . “ Okay . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . “ What ’s the story on ? ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson narrows [his]186-jameson eyes as [he]186-jameson thinks . “ [I]186-jameson was thinking . . . something along the lines of lovebites . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i frown in confusion . “ Love bites ? ”[2959-i] Amusement flashes across [his]186-jameson face as if [he]186-jameson ’s trying to keep it straight . “ [Lovebites]119-lovebites , one word . [Plural]120-plural . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [him]186-jameson for a moment in confusion . [I]2959-i do n’t get it . Oh [my]2959-i God . [He]186-jameson ’s talking about the hickey [I]2959-i gave [him]186-jameson . Of all the nerve . Trust [him]186-jameson to bring that up . [I]2959-i tilt [my]2959-i chin to the sky in defiance . “ [I]2959-i think [I]2959-i ’m better equipped to write a story on premature ejaculation . That way [you]2561-you could help [me]2959-i with it . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile sweetly . [Jameson]186-jameson ’s eyes dance with delight . “ Is that so ? ”[186-jameson] “ Yes , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply straight faced . “ News stories are so much better when [they]2562-they have evidence to back [them]2562-they up . ”[121-amusement] [Amusement]121-amusement crosses [his]186-jameson face as [he]186-jameson sips [his]186-jameson scotch . [I]2959-i have no idea what ’s going through that head of [his]186-jameson this afternoon . Maybe [he]186-jameson ’s had too many scotches . [We]615-we stare at each other , and [I]2959-i want to blurt out , “ Did [you]2563-you ever think of [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] But [I]2959-i ca n’t because this is work , and [I]2959-i ’m acting uninterested . Actually , let [me]2959-i rephrase that . [I]2959-i ’m not interested — [I’m]2959-i slightly fascinated . Huge difference . “ How was [your]2563-you weekend ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson asks . “ Fine . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson eyebrow rises . “ Just fine ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i nod . “ Uh - huh . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i do n’t want to tell [him]186-jameson that [I]2959-i broke up with [Robbie]56-robbie , but then [I]2959-i do n’t want to lie to [him]186-jameson either . “ [You]186-jameson got back Sunday night ? ”[2959-i] “ Yes . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson eyes hold [mine]2959-i , and [I]2959-i know [he]186-jameson wants to ask about [Robbie]56-robbie and [me]2959-i but is holding [his]186-jameson tongue . “ How was [your]186-jameson weekend ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ Great , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson replies as [his]186-jameson eyes drop to [my]2959-i lips . “ [I]2959-i had a great weekend . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . Does great mean just generally great , or does great mean “ [I]186-jameson had great hot sex with [a gorgeous , great woman all weekend ”]2564-a gorgeous , great woman all weekend ”[186-jameson] ? Stop it . “ Sorry about that , ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan says as [he]186-jameson breezes into [the room]514-the room . [He]186-jameson smiles warmly and shakes [my]2959-i hand . “ [I]186-jameson ’m [Tristan]2430-tristan . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson ’s slightly younger than [Jameson]186-jameson , and [his]186-jameson hair is a lighter brown and has a curl to it . [His]186-jameson eyes are big and brown . [He]186-jameson ’s very different from [Jameson]186-jameson but has that same power thing going on . “ [I]186-jameson ’m [Emily]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ Hello , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson and [Jameson]186-jameson make eye contact , and at that moment , [I]2959-i know that [he]186-jameson knows [Jameson]186-jameson and [my]2959-i history together . [I]2959-i swallow the nervous lump in [my]2959-i throat . Why would [he]186-jameson have told [[his]186-jameson brother]56-robbie about [me]2959-i ? [Tristan]2430-tristan glances at [Jameson]186-jameson ’s scotch . “ What time is it ? Has happy hour started ? ”[2430-tristan] “ Four thirty , and yes , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson replies . [Tristan]2430-tristan goes to [the bar]459-the bar and pours [himself]186-jameson a glass of the amber liquid . [He]186-jameson holds a glass up . “ Would [you]2565-you like a drink , [Emily]186-jameson ? ”[186-jameson] “ No thanks . [I]2959-i ’m working , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply nervously . Amusement crosses [Jameson]186-jameson ’s face as [he]186-jameson lifts [his]186-jameson drink to [his]186-jameson lips . Okay , what the hell is that look ? Is it a condescending smirk or nearly a smile ? [I]2959-i ca n’t read [this man]56-robbie at all . [Jameson]186-jameson sits still and stares at [me]2959-i . [Our]619-we eyes are locked , and the air swirls between [us]619-we . “ [You]620-you wanted to see [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . [I]2959-i really do n’t know what kind of meeting has scotch involved . Maybe [I]2959-i should have had a glass . [God]0-aaron , no . Remember what [you]620-you did last time [you]620-you got drunk with [this man]56-robbie . [You]620-you tried to suck all the blood out of [him]56-robbie . “ As [we]619-we just discussed , [we]619-we have a special project [we]619-we would like [you]620-you to work on , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson says . [I]2959-i nod as [I]2959-i look between [them]621-them . “ Yes . In light of what [you]620-you told [me]2959-i this morning , [we]619-we want [you]620-you to write a story for [us]619-we to publish . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i swallow the lump in [my]2959-i throat . “ Okay . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look between [them]621-them . “ What ’s the story on ? ”[2959-i] “ Name a subject . ”[2959-i] [His]2959-i tongue slips out and runs across [his]2959-i bottom lip , and [I]2959-i feel it all the way to [my]2959-i toes . “ [We]619-we have a secret project coming up , and [I]2959-i wanted [you]620-you to be involved , but [I]2959-i need to know if [you]620-you can report on a subject . ”[2959-i] “ [You]620-you know [I]2959-i can . [I]2959-i ’ve worked for regional papers for five years as [a reporter]2566-a reporter . ”[2959-i] “ This is strictly off the record , ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan says . “ [You]620-you can not tell a soul . It ’s imperative . ”[2430-tristan] “ [I]2959-i wo n’t , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say as [I]2959-i look between [them]621-them . “ For some time , [we]619-we have thought that [somebody]251-somebody on [your]620-you floor is selling [our]619-we stories to [[our]619-we competitors]2568-our competitors so that [they]2568-our competitors are breaking before [us]619-we . What [you]620-you told [us]619-we this morning all but confirms it . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ How do [you]620-you know ? ”[2959-i] “ Trust [me]186-jameson ; [we]619-we know , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson replies . “ [Our]619-we stocks are falling and so is [our]619-we credibility . It needs to stop . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i listen . “ [We]619-we want [you]620-you to make up a fake news story and submit it through the normal channels , and [we]619-we will see if it turns up in [our]619-we competitor ’s papers . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [him]186-jameson as [I]2959-i try to get [my]2959-i brain to keep up . “ What would [I]2959-i write about ? ”[2959-i] “ Something worth selling . It does n’t have to be real . [The faker]2569-the faker the better — then it ’s more easily traceable . ”[2959-i] “ Who do [you]620-you think it is ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask as excitement runs through [me]2959-i . This is [my]2959-i chance . If [I]2959-i do well here , [I]2959-i can prove [myself]2959-i as [a valuable employee]622-a valuable employee . Imagine if [I]2959-i cracked the case . [I]2959-i bite [my]2959-i bottom lip to hide [my]2959-i smile . [I]2959-i need to act as if exciting things like this happen to [me]2959-i every day . “ [We]2570-we have no idea , but [we]2570-we know it ’s not [you]2571-you . ”[2959-i] “ How do [you]2571-you know that ? ”[186-jameson] “ Because it began before [you]2571-you started , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson says as [he]186-jameson stands and goes to [the bar]459-the bar . “ Okay . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i think for a moment . “ [I]2959-i could do that . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look between [them]624-them . “ When do [you]2571-you want the story by ? ”[2959-i] “ Tomorrow afternoon , if possible . ”[186-jameson] “ Okay . ”[2959-i] A voice comes through the intercom . “ [Tristan]2430-tristan , [you]2571-you have [London]6-london on line two . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson stands and pushes the button . “ Give [me]186-jameson a moment to get back to [[my]186-jameson office]455-my office . ”[186-jameson] “ Okay , ”[625-the receptionist] [the receptionist]625-the receptionist answers . “ Sorry , [I]186-jameson have to take this call . [We]2573-we are settling today on a new company . [We]2573-we ’ll talk more tomorrow afternoon , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson says . “ Sure . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . Oh , [I]2959-i like [him]186-jameson . [He]186-jameson ’s friendlier than [[his]186-jameson brother]617-his brother . [He]186-jameson shakes [my]2959-i hand . “ Remember , not a word to [anyone]272-anyone . [I]186-jameson would hate to have to fire [you]272-anyone . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson gives [me]2959-i a playful wink , but something tells [me]2959-i [he]186-jameson ’s not joking . [I]2959-i frown . What the hell ? “ Okay . ”[2959-i] “ [I]186-jameson look forward to reading [your]272-anyone story , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson says . [He]186-jameson turns and walks out of [the office]385-new york and closes the door behind [him]186-jameson . [I]2959-i turn to [Jameson]186-jameson . [His]186-jameson eyes are dark , and [he]186-jameson ’s holding [his]186-jameson glass of scotch . [He]186-jameson sips it in slow motion , and [I]2959-i smile nervously as [my]2959-i heart begins to race . [He]186-jameson raises [his]186-jameson eyebrow and sips [his]186-jameson scotch again . The electricity in the air between [us]628-us is palpable . “ [I]2959-i should get back to [my]2959-i desk , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [His]186-jameson eyes stay fixed on [me]2959-i as if [he]186-jameson wants to say something , but [he]186-jameson remains silent . “ Is there anything else [you]2575-you wanted , [sir]186-jameson ? ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i whisper as [I]2959-i stand . [He]186-jameson puts [his]186-jameson drink down on the desk and walks toward [me]2959-i . “ Yes , actually . There is . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson stops in front of [me]2959-i so that [our]628-us faces are only an inch apart , and [I]2959-i stare up at [him]186-jameson . [His]186-jameson close proximity steals [my]2959-i breath , and like a wave in [the ocean]629-the ocean , arousal swims between [us]628-us . “ Can [you]2576-you feel that ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson breathes . [I]2959-i nod because it ’s undeniable . “ [I]186-jameson ’m so sexually attracted to [you]2576-you that it ’s insane , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers . “ From the first moment [I]186-jameson saw [you]2576-you on [that plane]2577-that plane . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i stare at [him]186-jameson as [I]2959-i get a vision of [him]186-jameson throwing [me]2959-i across [his]186-jameson desk . [He]186-jameson trails [his]186-jameson index finger down [my]2959-i face , over the center of [my]2959-i chest between [my]2959-i breasts , and then lower to [my]2959-i stomach , and then [he]186-jameson skims it over [my]2959-i pubic bone before resting [his]186-jameson hand on [my]2959-i hip . “ [I]186-jameson have a request . ”[186-jameson] “ Yes . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes as [I]2959-i feel [myself]2959-i melt under [his]186-jameson touch . [He]186-jameson leans forward so that [his]186-jameson lips are almost touching [my]2959-i ear . [His]186-jameson breath tickles and sends goose bumps down [my]2959-i spine . “ [I]186-jameson want [you]186-jameson to wear [your]186-jameson gray skirt tomorrow , the one with the split . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i listen to [his]186-jameson whispered words . “ [Your]186-jameson white silk blouse , and the lace bra that [you]186-jameson wear underneath it . ”[2959-i] Holy shit . . . “ No stockings . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson hand grips [my]2959-i hip bone , and [I]2959-i clench [my]2959-i sex . [He]186-jameson licks [my]2959-i ear . “ [I]186-jameson want [you]186-jameson to wear [your]186-jameson hair in a ponytail so [I]186-jameson can wrap it around [my]186-jameson hand . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i get a vision of [him]186-jameson wrapping [my]2959-i ponytail around [his]186-jameson hand , and [I]2959-i nearly combust . [This man]186-jameson is [a god]186-jameson . [I]2959-i stare up at [him]186-jameson . “ Anything else ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i breathe . “ Yes . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson eyes darken , and [he]186-jameson reaches up and rubs [his]186-jameson pointer finger over [my]2959-i bottom lip . “ Tonight , [I]186-jameson want [you]186-jameson to take [your]186-jameson vibrator . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson voice is deep and hushed and doing things to [my]2959-i insides that [I]2959-i did n’t know were possible . [My]2959-i eyes widen as [he]186-jameson slightly parts [my]2959-i lips with [his]186-jameson finger . Then [he]186-jameson puts it in [my]2959-i mouth , and [I]2959-i find [myself]2959-i sucking it . [His]186-jameson eyes darken as [he]186-jameson watches [me]2959-i , and a slow , sexy smile crosses [his]186-jameson face . “ [I]186-jameson want [you]186-jameson to fuck [yourself]186-jameson . Long . . . deep and slow . ”[186-jameson] Oh . . . [Lord]630-lord have mercy . “ Why would [I]630-lord do that ? ”[630-lord] [I]2959-i breathe . “ Because [I]186-jameson know it will be [my]186-jameson face that [you]186-jameson will see when [you]186-jameson come . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson bends and licks up [my]2959-i neck , and then [he]186-jameson bites [my]2959-i ear , and [my]2959-i legs nearly buckle underneath [me]2959-i . “ Do [your]186-jameson homework , and [you]186-jameson will be well rewarded , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers in [my]2959-i ear before tenderly kissing [my]2959-i neck with an open mouth . [I]2959-i ’m like putty in [his]186-jameson hands . [I]2959-i ca n’t even pretend to fight this . . . whatever this is . [He]186-jameson dusts [his]186-jameson lips across [mine]2959-i but then steps back , and [my]2959-i body jerks at [his]186-jameson withdrawal . [I]2959-i pant as [I]2959-i stare at [him]186-jameson . “ Do [your]186-jameson homework , [Emily]186-jameson . [I]2959-i ’ll see [you]186-jameson tomorrow . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [him]186-jameson for a moment ; [he]186-jameson ’s dismissing [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i frown as [he]186-jameson turns and goes back to sit at [his]186-jameson desk as if nothing ever happened . [He]186-jameson picks up [his]186-jameson scotch and sips it as [his]186-jameson eyes hold [mine]2959-i . [He]186-jameson slides a security key across the desk . “ This will get [you]2578-you to this floor . ”[122-huh] [Huh]122-huh . What in the hell was that ? [I]2959-i snatch the key and leave [[his]186-jameson office]426-his office in a fluster . [I]2959-i get into [the elevator]375-the elevator with [my]2959-i heart hammering . For fuck ’s sake . [I]2959-i need to find some self - control , and [I]2959-i need to find it quick . Because [he]186-jameson has it all . Chapter 6 [I]2959-i sit in the café across [the road]533-the road from [the Miles Media building]521-the miles media building . [I]2959-i told [myself]2959-i [I]2959-i came [here]385-new york to get some takeout for dinner . But the truth is , [I]2959-i want to see [him]186-jameson leave . [I]2959-i want to see [his]186-jameson face , to see if it ’s as flushed as [mine]2959-i . [I]2959-i ’m so close to orgasming in public ; it ’s not even funny . How can one finger through clothes arouse [me]2959-i so much ? [This man]186-jameson turns [me]2959-i into a puddle , a wet , soppy , pliable puddle . [I]2959-i have absolutely no resistance when [he]186-jameson touches [me]2959-i . For twelve months [I]2959-i ’ve dreamed about [Jim]266-jim , [the funny , carefree man [I]2959-i spent the night with]266-jim . And now that [I]2959-i ’ve met [another version of [him]186-jameson]636-another version of him , [I]2959-i ’m not sure that [I]2959-i like [him]186-jameson . [I]2959-i mean , [he]186-jameson ’s hot , hotter than hot . Blazing fucking inferno . Who is [Jameson Miles]186-jameson ? [I]2959-i sit on the bench seat by the window and stare across [the street]550-the street , and then [I]2959-i see [the limousine]638-the limousine arrive and pull into [the parking bay]639-the parking bay . [I]2959-i sit up . [My]2959-i stomach flips , and [I]2959-i hold [my]2959-i breath as [I]2959-i watch the door open . In slow motion [he]186-jameson walks out ; [he]186-jameson ’s like [a rock star]269-a rock star , and [everyone]2304-everyone turns to watch [him]186-jameson . [Mr. Orgasmic]123-mr. orgasmic . [I]2959-i watch as [he]186-jameson gets into the back of [the limousine]638-the limousine and [the driver]530-the driver closes the door behind [him]186-jameson , and then it slowly pulls away . [I]2959-i watch it all the way up [the street]550-the street as it disappears , and [I]2959-i feel a wave of disappointment roll over [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i wonder what [he]186-jameson ’s doing tonight . It ’s late , nearly six thirty , and [the Miles Media building]521-the miles media building is emptied out for the day . [I]2959-i ca n’t believe [I]2959-i waited around to get a glimpse of [him]186-jameson leaving . . . what [a loser]506-a loser . [I]2959-i guess [I]2959-i may as well order something to eat here . [I]2959-i ’m only going to go and eat alone at [home]2289-home anyway . [I]2959-i pick up the menu and scan the choices , and then the front doors of [Miles Media]14-miles media open again , and [Tristan]2430-tristan walks out . [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i watch [him]186-jameson . [He]186-jameson ’s with [a woman]339-a woman ; [she]339-a woman ’s blonde and beautiful and wearing a gray woolen fitted dress and high - heeled short black boots . [She]339-a woman has a trendy vibe about [her]339-a woman , and [her]339-a woman hair is in a bouncy ponytail . [She]339-a woman says something , and [he]186-jameson laughs out loud . [They]648-they walk around the corner but are still in [my]2959-i view , and [he]186-jameson puts [his]186-jameson hand on [her]339-a woman behind and leans in and kisses [her]339-a woman . Who is [she]339-a woman ? [He]186-jameson then takes [her]339-a woman hand in [his]186-jameson , and [they]648-they disappear up [the street]550-the street together . Does [she]339-a woman work in [the building]361-the building ? [I]2959-i would have thought [they]648-they had some no - dating - the - staff kind of rule . Maybe not ? Maybe it ’s a free - for - all , and [they]648-they ’re fucking [their]648-they way through [the floors]501-the floors ? Am [I]2959-i [the only girl [he]186-jameson ’s flirting with]652-the only girl he ’s flirting with ? Does [he]186-jameson summon [anyone else]527-anyone else up to [[his]186-jameson office]426-his office ? [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes in disgust . Stop it . [God]0-aaron , [I]2959-i need to get a grip . [I]2959-i go through [my]2959-i wardrobe and take out [my]2959-i clothes for tomorrow . It ’s late , and [I]2959-i ’ve been working on that story that [they]648-they want . [I]2959-i hope it ’s all right . [My]2959-i preparation is different this time . What should [I]2959-i wear tomorrow ? Do [I]2959-i do as [I]2959-i was told ? [I]2959-i lay out the clothes [Jameson]186-jameson told [me]2959-i to wear , and [I]2959-i stare at them on [my]2959-i bed . The gray skirt with the split , the white silk shirt . How does [he]186-jameson know that [I]2959-i wear a white lace bra with this shirt ? How does [he]186-jameson even know about this outfit ? [He]186-jameson watches [me]2959-i . A sick thrill runs through [me]2959-i . Fuck , [this guy]186-jameson is playing with [my]2959-i head . [I]2959-i ’m walking around , a raging mass of hormones , and [he]186-jameson hardly touches [me]2959-i . Imagine if [he]186-jameson did . [I]2959-i think back to this afternoon and the way [his]186-jameson finger traced [my]2959-i body and then how [he]186-jameson put it in [my]2959-i mouth and [I]2959-i sucked on it . [His]186-jameson words come back to [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i want [you]655-you to fuck [yourself]655-you . Long . . . deep and slow . [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes as arousal begins to heat [my]2959-i blood . [He]186-jameson wants [me]2959-i to think of [him]186-jameson while [I]2959-i come . [I]2959-i go to [my]2959-i bedside and take out [my]2959-i vibrator , and [I]2959-i hold it in [my]2959-i hand and look at it . “ It ’s a very cold substitute , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper into the silence . [I]2959-i have a good mind to call [him]186-jameson and tell [him]186-jameson to come over and get the job done in [person]656-person . But of course [I]2959-i wo n’t . [I]2959-i turn off the light and crawl under the covers , and [my]2959-i hand brushes across [my]2959-i naked breast . [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes and open [my]2959-i legs and imagine [Jameson Miles]186-jameson is here with [me]2959-i . “ Do [[you]198-molly guys]2579-you guys want to get some dinner after work ? ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i ask [Molly]198-molly and [Aaron]0-aaron . “ Yeah , all right . Something healthy , though , ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly replies as [she]198-molly types . “ [I]198-molly ’m never going to get laid if [I]198-molly do n’t start working on this fat ass . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly types some more . “ [I]198-molly have to be done by eight , though . [I]198-molly have to pick up [the kids]452-the kids . ”[198-molly] “ Yeah , okay . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron sighs . “ Sounds good . ”[0-aaron] “ [I]2959-i have training this afternoon , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply as [I]2959-i try to sound casual . [They]657-they both look up from [their]657-they work . “ Where ? ”[657-they] “ In [the management offices]2406-the management offices . ”[198-molly] “ Oh [my]198-molly God . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly smirks . “ Did [he]0-aaron say anything ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i drop [my]2959-i head . [I]2959-i glance up at the cameras . “ [I]2959-i ’ll tell [you]2959-i tonight . ”[2959-i] “ [God]0-aaron , [I]0-aaron live for these stories , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron whispers . “ Please tell [me]2959-i [you]2959-i fucked [him]0-aaron on [his]0-aaron desk ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i giggle as [I]2959-i finalize what [I]2959-i ’m doing . “ No , do n’t be stupid . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i grab [my]2959-i manila folder with [my]2959-i fake news story . “ [I]2959-i ’ll see [[you]2959-i guys]2579-you guys later . ”[2959-i] [They]2579-you guys both look up at [me]2959-i and smirk . “ Good luck . ”[2579-you guys] In five minutes , [I]2959-i find [myself]2959-i on the top floor with a ferociously beating heart . [I]2959-i decided not to wear what [he]0-aaron told [me]2959-i to wear ; that ’s just way too eager . What makes [him]0-aaron think [he]0-aaron can tell [me]2959-i what to wear , anyway ? [Sammia]246-alan smiles when [she]246-alan sees [me]2959-i . “ [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles , [you]79-mr. miles have [Emily Foster]186-jameson [here]385-new york to see [you]79-mr. miles . ”[246-alan] “ Send [her]186-jameson in , ”[0-aaron] [his]0-aaron velvety voice replies . [I]2959-i walk through the marble hall on [my]2959-i tiptoes as [I]2959-i make another mental note to buy rubber - soled shoes . How do [I]2959-i keep forgetting to do this ? [I]2959-i knock on [his]0-aaron door . “ Come in , ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron calls . [I]2959-i open the door and find [him]0-aaron sitting at [his]0-aaron desk on the phone ; [his]0-aaron eyes find [mine]2959-i . “ Hello , [Emily]186-jameson , ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron mouths . “ Hi . ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i clutch [my]2959-i folder . “ Please take a seat . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron gestures to a chair and holds up [his]0-aaron finger . “ One minute , ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron mouths . [I]2959-i smile and nod as [I]2959-i sit down . “ [I]0-aaron understand that , [Richard]246-alan . Yes , [I]0-aaron know . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron listens . “ [I]2959-i do n’t care if [she]186-jameson ’s hardworking . [She]186-jameson broke protocol , and there are consequences . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . What the hell ? Who ’s [he]0-aaron talking to ? “ [Richard]246-alan , ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron snaps . “ [You]246-alan will fire [her]186-jameson this afternoon , or [I]0-aaron will . And [we]2583-we both know who ’s going to make it less painful . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron rolls [his]0-aaron eyes . “ [Tristan]2430-tristan is aware , yes , ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron snaps . “ But as the CEO [I]0-aaron have the control . [You]246-alan have two hours to escort [Lara Aspin]125-lara aspin from [the building]361-the building , or [I]0-aaron ’ll come down [myself]0-aaron . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron hangs up angrily . [I]2959-i stare at [him]0-aaron , wide eyed . What did [she]659-she do ? [He]0-aaron bites [his]0-aaron bottom lip angrily as [his]0-aaron eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ [I]2959-i ’ve got the story [you]2959-i requested , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i murmur . “ Good . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron takes the folder from [me]2959-i and rolls [his]0-aaron chair back as [he]0-aaron opens it and begins reading . [He]0-aaron ’s different today , angry . But maybe it ’s just that call [he]0-aaron came off from . [He]0-aaron inhales deeply and flicks the pages , clearly frustrated . “ Is it okay ? ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron raises [his]0-aaron eyebrows as if unimpressed . [I]2959-i frown . “ A seismic weather event is hardly breaking news , is it ? ”[2959-i] “ Well , what do [you]2959-i want [me]2959-i to write about ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . “ [I]2959-i ca n’t name [a person]2585-a person or place or anything because it ’s fake news . [I]2959-i do n’t want to get [us]2586-us sued . ”[2959-i] “ [I]0-aaron am well aware of what it is , [Ms. Foster]126-ms. foster , ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron snaps . “ What ’s wrong with [you]2959-i today ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [He]0-aaron flicks the pages as [he]0-aaron reads . “ Nothing . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron reads on . “ This wo n’t do . [I]2959-i ’ll write it [myself]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ [I]0-aaron spent four hours on that last night . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron looks up from the papers , and [I]2959-i wither under [his]0-aaron glare . “ Well , what do [you]2959-i want [me]2959-i to write about , then ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ Anything but fucking weather . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron closes the folder as if disgusted and places it on the table . [He]0-aaron pushes the intercom . “ [Tristan]2430-tristan , come in here , please . ”[0-aaron] “ Yep . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrivel in [my]2959-i chair a little . [God]0-aaron , [he]0-aaron ’s mean when [he]0-aaron ’s angry . [Tristan]2430-tristan comes into [the office]385-new york , and [Jameson]186-jameson exhales heavily . “ [Ms. Foster]126-ms. foster has written [her]126-ms. foster story . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron gestures to the folder . “ Good . ”[0-aaron] [Tristan]2430-tristan smiles , and [he]0-aaron picks it up and begins to read . “ A seismic weather event wo n’t do , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson barks . [Tristan]2430-tristan twists [his]2430-tristan lips as [he]2430-tristan reads on . “ It ’s very good , though , ”[2430-tristan] [he]2430-tristan comments . Hmm , [I]2959-i ’m totally crushing on [the wrong brother]661-the wrong brother . . . [[my]2959-i one]662-an asshole is [an asshole]662-an asshole . “ Thank [you]662-an asshole . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i fake a smile . “ With all due respect , [Jameson]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i state , “ if [we]2587-we name this weather event and hype it up as coming in the next four months and that it ’s going to cause extensive damage , it will have legs . No names to trace , [people]248-people , or places . [I]2959-i do n’t see how [I]2959-i could have written a story about something else without jeopardizing [our]2587-we integrity . ”[2959-i] “ [We]2587-we are not here to prove [our]2587-we integrity , ”[2430-tristan] [he]2430-tristan growls . “ [We]2587-we are trying to withhold it . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sit back in [my]2959-i chair , annoyed . “ [I]2430-tristan want a story on an FBI murder case . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan narrows [his]2430-tristan eyes as [he]2430-tristan thinks . “ Make up a fake murder and name and a fake investigation and how close [they]2589-they are to closing it . ”[2430-tristan] [My]2959-i anger bubbles . “ If [you]2590-you knew what [you]2590-you wanted [me]2959-i to write , why did n’t [you]2590-you say that yesterday ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ [You]2590-you told [me]2430-tristan to do what [I]2430-tristan wanted , and [I]2430-tristan spent four hours writing that for [you]2590-you . ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan rolls [his]2430-tristan lips to hide [his]2430-tristan smirk . “ [I]2430-tristan have things to do . Let [me]2430-tristan know what story [we]2591-we ’re going with , ”[2430-tristan] [he]2430-tristan says as [he]2430-tristan walks toward the door . “ Thanks , [Emily]186-jameson . Great work . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan closes the door behind [him]2430-tristan . [I]2959-i glare at [the asshole]663-the asshole in front of [me]2959-i . “ So what do [you]186-jameson want [me]2959-i to do ? ”[2959-i] [His]2430-tristan cold eyes rise to meet [mine]2959-i . “ [I]2959-i told [you]186-jameson what [I]2959-i wanted [you]186-jameson to do yesterday , but [you]186-jameson did n’t do that . . . did [you]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . Wait , what ’s [he]2430-tristan talking about now ? [I]2959-i ’m confused . [He]2430-tristan does n’t have to be so damn rude . [I]2959-i snatch the folder from the table . “ All right , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ [I]2430-tristan ’ll write a fake story about a fake murder of [a fake CEO]2592-a fake ceo by [a fake new employee]2592-a fake ceo . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan glares at [me]2959-i . “ With a fake ax . ”[2430-tristan] “ Well . . . , ”[2430-tristan] [he]2430-tristan says with a sneer , “ just make sure [she]2592-a fake ceo has a fucking gray skirt on . ”[2430-tristan] [My]2959-i mouth falls open ; [he]2430-tristan ’s pissed that [I]2959-i did n’t do what [he]2430-tristan asked . The nerve of this jerk . “ No , [she]2592-a fake ceo does n’t wear gray skirts on demand . [She]2592-a fake ceo ’s naked because [she]2592-a fake ceo ’s just had wild sex with [[her]2592-a fake ceo hot boyfriend]2593-her hot boyfriend right before [she]2592-a fake ceo chops off [that spoiled - brat CEO]2592-a fake ceo ’s dick . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan narrows [his]2430-tristan eyes in contempt . [I]2959-i stand . “ [You]2430-tristan will have [your]2430-tristan story by five . [I]2959-i ’ll email it over . ”[2959-i] “ No , [you]2430-tristan ’ll deliver it up here in [person]656-person . ”[2430-tristan] “ With all due respect , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say as [I]2959-i smile sweetly , “ [I]2959-i do n’t feel like seeing [you]2430-tristan again today . [I]2959-i ’ll deliver it to [Tristan]2430-tristan . ”[2959-i] “ Deliver it to [Tristan]2430-tristan , and see what happens , ”[2430-tristan] [he]2430-tristan barks . [I]2959-i turn and storm out of [the office]426-his office with red steam shooting out of [my]2959-i ears . [The man]246-alan ’s a fucking pig . It ’s five thirty , and [I]2959-i sit at [my]2959-i desk as [I]2959-i type the last word of [my]2959-i fake story . [I]2959-i hate to admit it , but this one is better . [[My]2959-i coworkers]2369-there have gone to [the bar]459-the bar , and [I]2959-i ’m meeting [them]2369-there [there]2369-there . [I]2959-i ’m supposed to be taking it up to [[his]246-alan office]426-his office , but [I]2959-i ’m not . Screw [him]246-alan . [I]2959-i hit send to email it over , and [I]2959-i turn off [my]2959-i computer and pack up [my]2959-i desk . [My]2959-i phone rings , and the letter [J]127-j lights up the screen . [I]2959-i saved [his]246-alan initial so [I]2959-i ’d know if [he]246-alan calls [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i pick up [my]2959-i phone and hit decline , and then [I]2959-i smile sweetly at the camera , knowing full well [he]246-alan ’s watching [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i did not just break up with [one selfish asshole]668-one selfish asshole to go out with another . [He]246-alan can kiss [my]2959-i ass . A text comes through . Answer [your]669-your fucking phone . [I]2959-i glare at the text and write back . [I]2959-i have nothing to say to [you]669-your . [I]2959-i ’ve finished work for the day . [You]669-your have [your]669-your story . Good luck with it . A reply bounces back . This is a personal call . [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes in disgust and reply . Find someone else in a gray skirt to suck [your]669-your dick on demand . [I]2959-i ’m not interested in the position . [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i phone on silent and then into [my]2959-i bag and continue to pack up [my]2959-i desk . [I]2959-i take the elevator down to [the foyer]670-the foyer , and as [I]2959-i walk through , [a security guard]263-the security guard is on the phone . “ Excuse [me]263-the security guard , [miss]263-the security guard , ”[263-the security guard] [he]263-the security guard calls . “ Yes . ”[263-the security guard] “ [I]263-the security guard ’ve been instructed to tell [you]263-the security guard to wait here . ”[263-the security guard] Shit . [He]263-the security guard ’s on [his]263-the security guard way down . “ Um , no , [I]263-the security guard ca n’t . [I]263-the security guard ’m sorry . Apologize for [me]263-the security guard , ”[263-the security guard] [I]2959-i stammer as [I]2959-i brush past [him]263-the security guard and out through the front doors . [I]2959-i run around [the corner]672-the corner , and then when [I]2959-i ’m out of sight of [the security guard]263-the security guard , [I]2959-i run across [the street]550-the street and duck into the café [I]2959-i was in yesterday afternoon so [I]2959-i can see . What does [he]263-the security guard want ? [I]2959-i take a seat in the café by the window , and then [I]2959-i see [Jameson]186-jameson come out the front doors in a rush and then look up and down [the street]550-the street . [He]186-jameson takes out [his]186-jameson phone and calls [someone]2326-someone . [My]2959-i phone starts to vibrate in [my]2959-i bag . Shit . [I]2959-i ’m going to totally screw up this opportunity and get [myself]2959-i fired . Is that why [that other girl]675-that other girl got fired today ? Was [she]675-that other girl sleeping with [him]186-jameson , and things turned bad ? [I]2959-i watch [him]186-jameson look up and down [the street]550-the street and dial the number again . [I]2959-i let it ring . [He]186-jameson ’s openly furious . The front doors of [the building]361-the building open , and [Tristan]2430-tristan comes out . [Jameson]186-jameson says something to [him]186-jameson , and [Tristan]2430-tristan laughs . What did [he]186-jameson say ? [I]2959-i watch with [my]2959-i heart beating hard as [they]677-they both look up and down [the street]550-the street , and then [the limousine]638-the limousine pulls in . [He]186-jameson calls [me]2959-i again , and [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes . Stop calling [me]2959-i . [They]677-they finally get into [the limo]638-the limousine , and [I]2959-i watch as it pulls away . [I]2959-i drag [my]2959-i hand down [my]2959-i face in despair . [His]186-jameson temper and [my]2959-i temper are a bad combination . [We]679-we are officially a bad idea . An hour later “ What do [you]198-molly mean ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly frowns . “ [I]198-molly ’m confused . ”[198-molly] “ It ’s all just one big mess . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sigh . “ [I]2959-i went [home]2289-home to [California]12-california , and it turns out that [Robbie]56-robbie did n’t actually give a crap , so [I]2959-i ended it . But [I]2959-i did n’t tell [Jameson]186-jameson that because [I]2959-i do n’t want [him]186-jameson to think that it was because of [him]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ Yeah , [I]198-molly get that . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly frowns . “ But why is [Jameson]186-jameson being such [an asshole]662-an asshole now ? ”[198-molly] “ Because [she]198-molly did n’t wear the gray skirt , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron interrupts . “ Do n’t [you]0-aaron listen ? ”[0-aaron] “ But why ? ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly gasps . “ That ’s ridiculous . ”[198-molly] “ [I]2959-i know , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ It ’s not about the skirt , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron replies as [he]0-aaron chews . “ It ’s a power thing . [He]0-aaron wants [her]198-molly to do as [he]0-aaron asks . ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i listen . “ [You]0-aaron think ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]198-molly still do n’t get it . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly frowns . “ It ’s symbolic to [him]0-aaron . [He]0-aaron wants [her]198-molly to submit . ”[198-molly] “ Well , [I]2959-i ’m not , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i huff . “ Honestly , [the man]0-aaron is fucking stupid if [he]0-aaron thinks that [I]198-molly will . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly rolls [her]198-molly eyes . “ Oh God , if [he]0-aaron asked [me]198-molly to wear a skirt made of kidneys , [I]198-molly would , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly huffs as [she]198-molly stares into space . “ [I]0-aaron would even kill [fifty men]2597-fifty men to get the said kidneys . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron chuckles . “ Right ? [Me]0-aaron too . There is n’t actually anything that [he]0-aaron could n’t ask [me]0-aaron to do . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron holds [his]0-aaron hands in the air . “ [I]2959-i would do it all . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes , and [we]680-we all think for a moment . “ [You]0-aaron know what [I]198-molly would do if [I]198-molly were [you]0-aaron ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly says . “ What ? ”[198-molly] “ [I]2959-i would wear the gray skirt tomorrow , and [I]2959-i would ignore the fuck out of [him]0-aaron . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [her]198-molly . “ Make [the bastard]0-aaron weep . ”[2959-i] “ Yeah . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron smiles broadly . “ Flirt [your]0-aaron ass off in that gray skirt . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk as the idea rolls around in [my]2959-i head . “ [You]0-aaron know , [guys]546-my friends . . . that ’s not actually a bad idea . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hold [my]2959-i glass up in the air as [I]2959-i smile at [[my]2959-i two friends]546-my friends . “ To [Operation Flirty Office Slut]19-operation flirty office slut . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly smiles as [she]198-molly clinks [her]198-molly glass with [mine]2959-i . [I]2959-i smirk as [I]2959-i stare at [her]198-molly . “ Game on . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i march into [the office]385-new york like a rock star . No stockings . . . check . White lace bra . . . check . White silk shirt . . . check . High ponytail . . . check . Gray skirt with split . . . check , check , double check . “ Good morning . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile at [[my]2959-i friends]546-my friends as [I]2959-i arrive at [my]2959-i desk . [Their]546-my friends eyes come to [me]2959-i , and [they]546-my friends smirk as [they]546-my friends see [I]2959-i ’m wearing the requested outfit . [Aaron]0-aaron gives [me]2959-i a wink and turns back to [his]0-aaron computer . “ Does [anybody]457-anybody want coffee ? ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i ask . “ Yes , please , ”[546-my friends] [they]546-my friends both reply . [I]2959-i walk into [the kitchen]683-the kitchen , and [Ricardo]246-alan follows [me]2959-i in . “ Hey , chickie , [I]246-alan ’ve been waiting for [you]246-alan . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i smile an over - the - top fake smile . [God]0-aaron . . . ca n’t [I]2959-i have someone better to fake flirt with than [this guy]266-jim ? “ Hi , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply excitedly . “ How are [you]246-alan ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]0-aaron ’m good . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron smiles at [my]2959-i enthusiasm . “ Listen , [I]0-aaron ’m so sorry [I]0-aaron got [you]246-alan into trouble the other day . ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i smile and pull [my]2959-i hand through [my]2959-i ponytail . “ That ’s okay . Come and see [me]0-aaron later , though , wo n’t [you]246-alan ? ”[0-aaron] [His]0-aaron eyes light up . “ Okay , it ’s a deal . ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i walk back to [my]2959-i desk and take a seat with [our]685-our three coffees , and [I]2959-i open [my]2959-i emails and get to work . [Jameson]186-jameson called [me]2959-i six times last night , and [I]2959-i do n’t know why . [I]2959-i ’m not sure if [he]0-aaron wanted to apologize or fight . . . but [I]2959-i ’m not giving [him]0-aaron the satisfaction of answering [his]0-aaron call so [he]0-aaron can do either . [I]2959-i ’m going to have a good day , and [I]2959-i ’m not going to think about [Jameson Miles]186-jameson once . It ’s three o’clock , and [Operation Flirty Office Slut]19-operation flirty office slut is in full swing . [I]2959-i ’ve smiled and laughed with every loser in [the building]361-the building today . [I]2959-i ’m not sure if [he]0-aaron ’s even watching , but [I]2959-i ’m about to up the ante . [I]2959-i ’m on [my]2959-i way up to see [Tristan]2430-tristan about the story [I]2959-i wrote . The elevator doors open , and [I]2959-i smile sweetly at [the receptionist]625-the receptionist . “ Hello , [I]2959-i ’m here to see [Tristan]2430-tristan . ”[2959-i] “ Sure , just a moment . ”[625-the receptionist] [She]625-the receptionist frowns as [she]625-the receptionist tries to remember [my]2959-i name . “ It ’s [Emily Foster]186-jameson . ”[625-the receptionist] “ That ’s right . [I]625-the receptionist ’m sorry . ”[625-the receptionist] [She]625-the receptionist calls through . “ [Tristan]2430-tristan , [I]625-the receptionist have [Emily Foster]186-jameson here to see [you]186-jameson . ”[625-the receptionist] “ Okay , send [her]186-jameson in , ”[2430-tristan] [he]2430-tristan replies happily . “ Just go through to [the main conference room]2599-the main conference room , but instead of turning left to go to [[Jameson]186-jameson ’s office]2600-jameson ’s office , turn right , and go down [the corridor]609-the corridor on the other side of [the building]361-the building . ”[2430-tristan] “ Thank [you]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i follow [her]625-the receptionist directions and head down to the other end of [the building]361-the building . [I]2959-i frown ; there are four office doors . [I]2959-i hesitate . Which door did [she]625-the receptionist say ? [I]2959-i walk down [the corridor]609-the corridor , and a door is open . [I]2959-i see [Jameson]186-jameson is in there , talking to [a man]2300-a man . “ Sorry to bother [you]186-jameson . Is [[Tristan]2430-tristan ’s office]385-new york down [here]385-new york ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . [Jameson]186-jameson ’s face falls as [he]186-jameson sees [me]2959-i . “ Next door , ”[2300-a man] [the other man]2300-a man replies . [I]2959-i smile sweetly . “ Thank [you]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i head over and knock on [Tristan]2430-tristan ’s door . “ Come in , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson calls , and [I]2959-i walk in and close the door behind [me]2959-i . “ Hello . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ Hi , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smiles warmly as [he]186-jameson gestures to the chair in front of [his]186-jameson desk . “ Please take a seat . ”[186-jameson] As [I]2959-i sit down , [I]2959-i come to the realization that [Tristan]2430-tristan does n’t make [me]2959-i nervous at all ; [I]2959-i wish [[his]2430-tristan brother]617-his brother did n’t . “ [I]2959-i just was wondering if [you]186-jameson had time to look at the story [I]2959-i wrote ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]2430-tristan did , yes , and [I]2430-tristan loved it . Were [you]186-jameson happy with it ? ”[2430-tristan] “ Yeah , [I]186-jameson think it was better . [I]186-jameson was n’t sure what [you]186-jameson wanted [me]186-jameson to do with it next . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson frowns . “ [We]2602-we ’ll need to submit it as if it has come to [you]186-jameson . Did [you]186-jameson talk to [Jameson]186-jameson ? ”[186-jameson] “ Umm . ”[186-jameson] The office door opens , and [Jameson]186-jameson marches in . “ Hello . ”[186-jameson] “ Speak of [the devil]2540-the devil . ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan smiles . “ Hello , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply as [I]2959-i turn [my]2959-i attention back to [Tristan]2430-tristan . It ’s hard not to stare at [Jameson]186-jameson when [he]186-jameson ’s in [a room]692-a room ; [he]186-jameson overtakes any space . This playing hard to get is harder to do than it looks . “ [Emily]186-jameson is here to talk about the story [she]186-jameson wrote . ”[186-jameson] “ [I]186-jameson see . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson stares at [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i feel the magnetic pull to [him]186-jameson as it begins to surround [me]2959-i . “ Was it okay ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ It was . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ It was very good . ”[186-jameson] “ Are [we]693-the two men just going to submit it now as if it has come to [her]186-jameson as news ? ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan asks . [Jameson]186-jameson ’s eyes stay fixed on [mine]2959-i . “ Yes , [I]186-jameson think so . ”[186-jameson] [My]2959-i eyes flick between [the two men]693-the two men . “ Okay . [I]186-jameson ’ll submit it and let [you]186-jameson know what happens . ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson ’s eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ [I]2959-i have something [I]2959-i need [you]186-jameson to add with it . It ’s on [my]2959-i computer . Come with [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i ’ll get it now . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i nerves tingle . “ Okay , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply as [I]2959-i stand . [Jameson]186-jameson holds [his]186-jameson hand out . “ [Ladies]2604-ladies first . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i turn to [Tristan]2430-tristan . “ Thank [you]2430-tristan . See [you]2430-tristan later . ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan smiles broadly . “ Goodbye . Have a nice afternoon . ”[2430-tristan] [I]2959-i walk to [[Jameson]186-jameson ’s office]426-his office , and [I]2959-i can feel the heat of [his]186-jameson stare on [my]2959-i behind . Just play it cool . . . no flirting . . . no touching . Just play it cool . [I]2959-i am here to prick tease [the bastard]2430-tristan . . . nothing more and nothing less . [We]695-we get to [[his]186-jameson office]426-his office , and [he]186-jameson opens the door . [I]2959-i walk past [him]186-jameson , and then [he]186-jameson closes it and flicks the lock . [I]2959-i turn to [him]186-jameson as [he]186-jameson steps toward [me]2959-i in slow motion . [His]186-jameson face comes to within an inch of [mine]2959-i . [Our]695-we eyes search [each other]2339-each other ’s , and without a word said , [he]186-jameson grabs [my]2959-i ponytail and wraps it around [his]186-jameson hand and pulls [my]2959-i head back to [his]186-jameson face . “ Do n’t fight with [me]186-jameson , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson breathes , then leans down and licks [my]2959-i lips . “ Do n’t be [an asshole]662-an asshole , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [He]186-jameson bends and runs [his]186-jameson hand up [my]2959-i bare leg as [he]186-jameson holds [my]2959-i hair in [his]186-jameson hand . [His]186-jameson tongue licks up the length of [my]2959-i neck , which is stretched out for [him]186-jameson , as [his]186-jameson hand grabs [my]2959-i behind . “ Tell [me]186-jameson [he]186-jameson ’s gone , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers in [my]2959-i ear as [he]186-jameson kisses it softly . Ah . . . this is not how the plan went in [my]2959-i head . [I]2959-i ’m supposed to be rejecting [him]186-jameson right about now . Abort mission . . . “ [He]186-jameson ’s gone , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i breathe . [His]186-jameson lips take [mine]2959-i , and [his]186-jameson tongue slides effortlessly through [my]2959-i mouth as [my]2959-i senses awaken . [His]186-jameson hand grinds [me]2959-i onto [his]186-jameson waiting erection as [our]697-our kiss turns frantic . [He]186-jameson pushes [me]2959-i up against the wall and tears [my]2959-i skirt up and slips [his]186-jameson thick fingers underneath [my]2959-i panties . [His]186-jameson dark eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ Tonight , [we]697-our fuck . ”[186-jameson] Chapter 7 “ Jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Will [you]697-our behave ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pull [my]2959-i skirt down over [my]2959-i hips . [He]186-jameson smiles into [my]2959-i neck and pulls [me]2959-i closer ; [his]186-jameson lips brush against [mine]2959-i as [he]186-jameson takes [my]2959-i face in [his]186-jameson hands . The kiss is slow , long , and deliberate , and [I]2959-i find [my]2959-i feet floating in the air . “ Dinner ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson breathes . “ Hmm . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i smile against [him]186-jameson as [he]186-jameson holds [my]2959-i face . There ’s no mistaking that kiss . It ’s tempting , sensual , and a promise of sexual satisfaction . “ What time will [I]186-jameson pick [you]186-jameson up ? ”[186-jameson] “ That depends . ”[186-jameson] “ On what ? ”[186-jameson] “ On whether [you]186-jameson think [you]186-jameson can tell [me]186-jameson what to wear and what to do . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smiles softly , and [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i heart skip a beat ; [he]186-jameson has n’t smiled at [me]2959-i like that since the first night [we]698-we met . “ Forgive [me]186-jameson , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers as [he]186-jameson leans in and kisses [me]2959-i again . “ [I]186-jameson simply wanted [you]186-jameson to wear [my]186-jameson favorite outfit so [I]186-jameson could admire [you]186-jameson in it . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson lips drop to [my]2959-i neck as if [he]186-jameson ’s unable to stop [himself]186-jameson . “ [I]186-jameson did n’t mean to offend . ”[186-jameson] “ Do [you]186-jameson have to be so abrasive with [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [his]186-jameson teeth skim [my]2959-i jawline . “ [Abrasive]128-abrasive is who [I]2959-i am . ”[2959-i] “ [The man [I]186-jameson met]2606-the man i met was funny and carefree . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smiles down at [me]2959-i as [he]186-jameson brushes the hair back from [my]2959-i forehead . “ [Our]699-our meeting was a luxury that [I]186-jameson ’ve never been afforded . ”[186-jameson] “ How so ? ”[186-jameson] “ [I]186-jameson had the gift of anonymity . ”[186-jameson] [Our]699-our lips touch , and [I]2959-i rub [my]2959-i fingers through [his]186-jameson stubble . “ Why are [you]2606-the man i met so different here ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [He]186-jameson pulls out of [my]2959-i grip and walks over to [his]186-jameson desk . “ [I]186-jameson am who [I]186-jameson have to be , [Emily]186-jameson . Funny and carefree ca n’t successfully run an empire . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i stare at [him]186-jameson as [I]2959-i think for a moment . “ Okay , then [I]186-jameson guess [I]186-jameson ’ll have to decline dinner . ”[186-jameson] “ Why is that ? ”[186-jameson] “ Because [I]186-jameson want to spend a night with [Jim]266-jim . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ [Jameson Miles]186-jameson [the CEO]186-jameson does n’t interest [me]186-jameson . [I]186-jameson could n’t care less about [your]186-jameson money or [your]186-jameson power . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson stares at [me]2959-i for an extended time as if processing [my]2959-i words . [I]2959-i walk over and kiss [him]186-jameson softly . “ Tell [Jim]266-jim to pick [me]2959-i up at seven , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [I]2959-i run [my]2959-i tongue through [his]186-jameson lips . “ [I]129-tenderness ’m aching for [him]186-jameson . ”[129-tenderness] [Tenderness]129-tenderness crosses [his]186-jameson face . “ [I]129-tenderness ’ll see what [I]129-tenderness can do . ”[129-tenderness] [I]2959-i walk back down to [my]2959-i floor and take a seat at [my]2959-i desk . “ How did it go ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron whispers as [he]0-aaron types . “ Did [you]0-aaron make [him]0-aaron beg ? ”[0-aaron] “ [God]0-aaron , [I]2959-i ’m totally crap at playing hard to get . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sigh . [Molly]198-molly smirks . “ Are n’t [we]2607-we all ? ”[198-molly] [I]2959-i open [my]2959-i computer . “ Well ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron whispers as [he]0-aaron stops working . “ Tell [us]2607-we . ”[0-aaron] “ [We]2607-we ’re having dinner tonight , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply as [I]2959-i try to sound casual . “ Oh [my]198-molly God , ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly whispers in excitement . “ What the hell are [you]198-molly wearing ? ”[198-molly] “ [I]2959-i do n’t know . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ Something insanely hot . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hold [my]2959-i hand over [my]2959-i heart as [I]2959-i try to will it to slow down , and [I]2959-i glance at the clock on the wall—6:55 p.m. [He]0-aaron ’ll be here any minute . [I]2959-i shake [my]2959-i hands around and pace back and forth . “ Just be cool . . . do n’t sleep with [him]0-aaron . Whatever [you]198-molly do , do n’t be easy , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i remind [myself]2959-i out loud . [I]2959-i walk back to the mirror in [the bathroom]300-the bathroom and reapply [my]2959-i lipstick . “ Get to know each other , and then make an informed decision based on [his]0-aaron personality and not how much [he]0-aaron turns [you]198-molly on . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk at the ridiculous girl talking to [her]701-her reflection . If [his]0-aaron dick was n’t so perfect , [I]2959-i would n’t be thinking about it at all , then . . . would [I]2959-i ? [My]2959-i phone buzzes . “ Hello , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i answer as [my]2959-i heart races . “ [I]0-aaron ’m [downstairs]2454-downstairs , ”[0-aaron] [his]0-aaron deep , velvety voice purrs . “ What number are [you]0-aaron ? ”[0-aaron] “ [I]2959-i ’ll come down now . See [you]0-aaron soon . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i walk back to the full - length mirror and take one last look . [I]2959-i ’m wearing a black fitted dress that hangs to just below [my]2959-i knees . It has spaghetti straps and a low back . It goes with [my]2959-i black stilettos and matching clutch . [My]2959-i long dark hair is set in big Hollywood curls and pinned back on one side . [I]2959-i ’ve gone all out with [my]2959-i makeup and have smoky gray eyes and glossy red lips . And of course , [I]2959-i ’m waxed to within an inch of [my]2959-i life . . . just in case . [I]2959-i take [the elevator]670-the foyer , and when [I]2959-i walk out through [the foyer]670-the foyer , [I]2959-i see [him]0-aaron through the glass front doors of [[my]2959-i building]703-my building . [He]0-aaron ’s wearing a navy sports coat and blue jeans with a white T - shirt . [He]0-aaron looks like [he]0-aaron ’s stepped straight out of a magazine . [My]2959-i breath catches at the sight of [him]0-aaron , and [I]2959-i smile as [he]0-aaron turns toward [me]2959-i . “ Hi . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron smiles . “ Hi . ”[0-aaron] [His]0-aaron eyes roam down the length of [my]2959-i body as [he]0-aaron takes [my]2959-i hand in [his]0-aaron . “ [You]0-aaron look beautiful . ”[0-aaron] “ Thank [you]0-aaron . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile bashfully . [We]704-we stare at each other . . . and it ’s there again . The electric current that runs between [us]704-we whenever [we]704-we ’re alone . “ What do [you]0-aaron want to do ? ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron asks as [his]0-aaron eyes drop to [my]2959-i lips . [I]2959-i smile . [Jim]266-jim ’s here — [Jameson]186-jameson would n’t ask [me]2959-i what [I]2959-i wanted to do . “ Did n’t [you]0-aaron mention [Italian]130-italian ? ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron leans in and kisses [me]2959-i , with just the right amount of suction to raise [my]2959-i feet from the floor . [My]2959-i arms go around [his]0-aaron neck , and [we]704-we stand in [the street]550-the street and stare at each other . “ [You]0-aaron really do turn [me]0-aaron on , [Emily Foster]186-jameson , ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron breathes . [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i pull [my]2959-i fingers through [his]0-aaron dark hair . “ Did [you]186-jameson come all the way across [town]2456-town to make out with [me]2959-i on [the street]550-the street ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask innocently . “ No . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron smirks . “ But now that [I]0-aaron ’m here , it ’s the only thing [I]0-aaron want to do . ”[0-aaron] [We]704-we kiss again , and it ’s slow and tender , and [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i arousal fly in like a 747 . [His]0-aaron hard length makes an appearance up against [my]2959-i stomach , and [I]2959-i smile broadly . “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ Is [he]0-aaron coming to dinner ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . [He]0-aaron chuckles . “ Well , [he]0-aaron does seem to want to hang around whenever [you]2610-you are near . ”[0-aaron] “ Hanging is n’t a word that [I]0-aaron would use to describe that thing . ”[0-aaron] [His]0-aaron eyes sparkle with a certain something , and [he]0-aaron takes [my]2959-i hand in [his]0-aaron . “ Let ’s go this way . ”[0-aaron] “ [We]706-we ’re walking ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask in surprise . “ [I]0-aaron got dropped off . [They]706-we ’ll pick [us]706-we up later . [We]706-we ’ll catch [a cab]707-a cab from [here]385-new york to [the restaurant]2612-the restaurant . ”[0-aaron] “ Okay . ”[706-we] [We]706-we walk around the corner , and [he]0-aaron hails [a cab]707-a cab , and [we]706-we climb into the back of it . “ [Waverly Place]20-waverly place , please . ”[0-aaron] “ Okay . ”[530-the driver] [The driver]530-the driver pulls out into [the traffic]709-the traffic . “ How long have [you]2613-you lived in [New York]385-new york ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ [My]2959-i whole life . ”[2959-i] “ [[Your]2959-i parents]2614-your parents live here ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . [I]2959-i ca n’t imagine growing up in [a city]710-a city like this . “ Yes , although [I]2959-i went to [school]366-school elsewhere . ”[2959-i] “ Where did [you]2959-i go to [school]366-school ? ”[2959-i] “ Many places — finished in [Aspen]21-aspen . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [him]530-the driver . What the hell ? “ [You]2959-i went to [school]366-school alone in [Aspen]21-aspen ? ”[2959-i] “ No , [I]530-the driver always had [[my]530-the driver brothers]2616-my brothers with [me]530-the driver . ”[530-the driver] [He]530-the driver picks [my]2959-i hand up and kisses the back of it with a soft smile . [I]2959-i stare at [him]530-the driver . [We]711-we come from completely different worlds . [I]2959-i ca n’t even fathom [his]530-the driver upbringing . “ What ’s that look ? ”[530-the driver] [he]530-the driver asks . “ [I]530-the driver was n’t even allowed to have a sleepover at [[[my]530-the driver friend]2617-my friend ’s place]2618-my friend ’s place . ”[530-the driver] “ [Independence]131-independence has always been encouraged in [[my]2959-i family]2619-my family . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i think of something . “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ If [you]2620-you ’ve been living on [your]2620-you own since [you]2620-you were . . . ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pause as [I]2959-i wait for [his]530-the driver answer . “ Twelve . ”[2959-i] “ [You]2620-you should have the emotional intelligence of a ninety - year - old . Is that right ? ”[530-the driver] [He]530-the driver throws [his]530-the driver head back and laughs out loud . “ Should being the operative word . ”[530-the driver] [His]530-the driver eyes dance with delight . “ And what would [your]2620-you emotional intelligence be at ? ”[530-the driver] “ Hmm . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i think . “ Emotionally [I]2959-i think [I]2959-i would be about age thirty . ”[2959-i] “ Physically ? ”[530-the driver] [He]530-the driver smirks . “ Oh God , eighteen . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i laugh . “ [I]530-the driver ’m not very experienced at all . ”[530-the driver] [His]530-the driver eyes hold [mine]2959-i , and [I]2959-i feel the burn from [his]530-the driver gaze . “ What would [your]2620-you physical experience be at ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [I]530-the driver ’m more of a show than tell kind of person . ”[530-the driver] [He]530-the driver gives [me]2959-i a slow , sexy smile . “ Happy to give [you]2620-you a demonstration , though . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i giggle as [the cab]712-the cab pulls to a stop . “ [I]2959-i bet [you]2620-you are . ”[2959-i] [We]713-we climb out of [the cab]712-the cab , and two minutes later [Jameson]186-jameson pulls [me]2959-i by the hand into [a restaurant named [Babbo]132-babbo]2612-the restaurant . It kind of looks like [a mini English pub]715-a mini english pub from the outside , all quaint and cute , but when [we]713-we walk through the door , it ’s a lot bigger than it seems . The space is dark and moody , and gold light fixtures add to the ambience . Fresh flowers are in giant vases everywhere , and it feels super romantic . “ Hello , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles . ”[246-alan] [The man at the desk]246-alan smiles . “ [Your]246-alan table is this way , [sir]246-alan . ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson takes [my]2959-i hand and leads [me]2959-i through to the corner of [the restaurant]2612-the restaurant ; [the waiter]717-the waiter pulls out [my]2959-i chair . “ Thank [you]246-alan . ”[717-the waiter] “ Would [you]246-alan like something to drink to start ? ”[717-the waiter] “ Yes . ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson peruses the wine menu . “ Red ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson asks [me]2959-i . “ Whatever . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug with a nervous smile . “ [We]718-we ’ll have a bottle of [Henschke]133-henschke . ”[2959-i] “ Yes , [sir]186-jameson ; which one ? ”[186-jameson] “ Hill of Roses , please , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson replies as [he]186-jameson closes the menu . [The waiter]717-the waiter disappears , leaving [us]718-we alone . “ [I]2959-i ’m guessing that [you]246-alan know [your]246-alan wine ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . [He]186-jameson pours [us]718-we both a glass of water . “ [I]186-jameson only go to [restaurants]2621-restaurants that stock the wine [I]186-jameson like . So yes , [I]186-jameson suppose [I]186-jameson know wine . ”[186-jameson] “ Ah . [I]2959-i see . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk . “ One of those . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smiles . “ Perhaps . ”[186-jameson] [Our]718-we eyes linger on each other ’s faces for a moment . “ [I]186-jameson ca n’t believe [you]246-alan ’re the frigging CEO . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson chuckles and rests [his]186-jameson face on [his]186-jameson hand . “ [I]186-jameson thought [you]246-alan wanted a date with [Jim]266-jim tonight ? ”[186-jameson] “ [I]186-jameson did . . . [I]186-jameson mean , [I]186-jameson do . ”[186-jameson] “ Well , why are [we]718-we talking about [CEOs]2622-ceos ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile softly . “ [I]717-the waiter do n’t know . ”[717-the waiter] [The waiter]717-the waiter returns and opens the bottle of wine and pours a little in a glass . [Jameson]186-jameson tastes it . “ That ’s fine . ”[717-the waiter] [The waiter]717-the waiter fills [our]718-we glasses and disappears . [Jameson]186-jameson holds [his]186-jameson glass up , and [I]2959-i softly clink it with [mine]2959-i and take a sip and taste the rich , velvety flavor . “ Hmm . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i nod . “ [I]2959-i ’m impressed . ”[2959-i] “ [I]186-jameson have excellent taste . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smiles before falling serious again . “ In all things . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile bashfully ; [he]186-jameson ’s talking about [me]2959-i . “ Tell [me]186-jameson about last weekend , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson asks . “ Not much to tell . ”[186-jameson] “ [You]186-jameson broke up with [him]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] “ It was a long time coming . ”[186-jameson] “ [You]186-jameson were n’t happy ? ”[186-jameson] “ No . Not for a long time . ”[2959-i] “ What ’s [his]186-jameson name ? What does [he]186-jameson do ? ”[186-jameson] “ [I]2959-i ’m not telling [you]186-jameson [his]186-jameson name , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ [He]186-jameson ’s [a businessman — successful and handsome]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i lie . [He]186-jameson sips [his]186-jameson wine as [he]186-jameson watches [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i know [he]186-jameson has something else on [his]186-jameson mind . “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ Did [you]2959-i ever think about [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] “ Yes . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile softly . “ Did [you]2959-i ever think about [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]186-jameson did , actually . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ What did [you]2959-i think about ? ”[2959-i] A slow , sexy smile crosses [his]186-jameson face . “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ [You]2959-i do n’t want to know . ”[2959-i] “ No , [I]2959-i do . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ Tell [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] “ [I]186-jameson was thinking that [you]2959-i were probably the hottest sex [I]186-jameson ’d ever had . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson eyes drop to [my]2959-i lips . The air crackles between [us]720-us . “ And even now , every time [I]2959-i ’m in [a room]692-a room with [you]2959-i , it ’s as if [my]2959-i body takes on a need of its own . ”[2959-i] Time stops as [we]720-us stare at each other . [He]186-jameson sips [his]186-jameson wine in slow motion . “ When [I]186-jameson look at [you]2959-i . . . [I]186-jameson have one thing on [my]186-jameson mind , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson murmurs . “ [I]134-primal ca n’t help it . It ’s almost primal . ”[134-primal] [Primal]134-primal . “ It ’s getting damn hard to control , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers darkly . Damn , [this man]56-robbie is something else , but every warning signal is telling [me]2959-i to run away as fast as [I]2959-i can . If [he]56-robbie can affect [me]2959-i the way [he]56-robbie did after one night . . . what could two nights do ? [Our]720-us eyes are locked , and arousal heats [my]2959-i blood . Suddenly [I]2959-i do n’t want to play hard to get ; [I]2959-i do n’t care if [we]722-we do n’t know [each other]2339-each other . [I]2959-i do n’t care about the risks . [He]186-jameson has something that [I]2959-i need . . . and damn it , [I]2959-i ’m taking it without questions . “ [We]722-we should order , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [He]186-jameson opens the menu with a sense of urgency . “ What do [you]2624-you want ? ”[186-jameson] “ Whatever ’s the quickest . ”[186-jameson] An hour later , [he]186-jameson pulls [me]2959-i up [the sidewalk]724-the sidewalk by the hand . “ [[My]186-jameson car]2625-my car is parked around here . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson turns and takes [me]2959-i into [his]186-jameson arms and aggressively kisses [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i smile against [his]186-jameson lips . The way [we]725-we laughed and talked over dinner tonight reminded [me]2959-i of the Jim [I]2959-i remember , [the man on [the plane who was interested in everything about [me]2959-i and [my]2959-i life]727-the plane who was interested in everything about me and my life]726-the man on the plane who was interested in everything about me and my life . As if [he]726-the man on the plane who was interested in everything about me and my life felt it , too , [we]725-we nearly made out in the middle of [a crowded restaurant]728-a crowded restaurant . [He]726-the man on the plane who was interested in everything about me and my life ’s not wrong ; this attraction is insane . “ Hurry , ”[726-the man on the plane who was interested in everything about me and my life] [I]2959-i whisper against [his]726-the man on the plane who was interested in everything about me and my life lips . It ’s one thing to go out to dinner with [a gorgeous man]56-robbie — it ’s another to imagine [yourself]730-yourself under the table , sucking [his]56-robbie dick the entire time . [I]2959-i do n’t know if it ’s that [he]56-robbie told [me]2959-i that [I]2959-i was the best sex [he]56-robbie ’s ever had , but . . . damn it , [I]2959-i want to blow [his]56-robbie frigging mind . [I]2959-i ’m desperate to get [him]56-robbie naked . [I]2959-i want to be [that girl [he]56-robbie turned [me]2959-i into in [Boston]385-new york]731-that girl he turned me into in boston again . [I]2959-i ’ve missed [her]731-that girl he turned me into in boston . [We]732-we turn the corner , and [I]2959-i see [the big black limousine parked by [the curb]549-the curb]385-new york . [I]2959-i stop still . “ What ? ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie frowns . “ [The limo]385-new york is [here]385-new york ? ”[56-robbie] “ Yes . So ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [him]56-robbie for an extended moment . [He]56-robbie rolls [his]56-robbie eyes and opens the back door . “ Get in . ”[56-robbie] [I]2959-i climb in , and within two seconds , [he]56-robbie ’s in [the car]369-the car and has [me]2959-i straddled over [his]56-robbie lap with [my]2959-i dress up around [my]2959-i waist . The security screen is up , providing [us]732-we with privacy . [His]56-robbie cock is hard , and [he]56-robbie grabs [my]2959-i hip bones and guides [my]2959-i sex back and forth over [him]56-robbie as [we]732-we kiss . [His]56-robbie hands are on [my]2959-i behind and then trailing up and down [my]2959-i back as [my]2959-i body takes on a rhythm of its own . [His]56-robbie eyes are dark , and [his]56-robbie fingers dip into [my]2959-i panties , and [he]56-robbie slides them through [my]2959-i flesh . “ Fuck , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie whispers . “ [I]56-robbie could blow just by feeling this beautiful , hot pussy . ”[56-robbie] [I]2959-i begin to rock down on [him]56-robbie with force , searching for a deeper connection , and [his]56-robbie jaw hangs slack as [he]56-robbie stares up at [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i do n’t know what the hell kind of nympho pills [someone]2326-someone slipped into [my]2959-i drink at dinner , but [I]2959-i find [myself]2959-i on the floor between [his]56-robbie legs , and [I]2959-i unzip [his]56-robbie jeans with force . [He]56-robbie hisses as [I]2959-i push [him]56-robbie back into [his]56-robbie seat and spread [his]56-robbie legs aggressively . [Our]737-our eyes lock , and [I]2959-i lick the end of [him]56-robbie and taste the preejaculate as it oozes from [his]56-robbie head . [He]56-robbie cups [my]2959-i face , and [I]2959-i take [him]56-robbie deep down [my]2959-i throat as [he]56-robbie clenches . “ Fuck , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie growls in a whisper as [his]56-robbie stomach contracts . “ Fucking hell , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[56-robbie] [I]2959-i begin to fist [him]56-robbie hard , and [he]56-robbie lurches underneath [me]2959-i . [He]56-robbie ’s going to come . [I]2959-i want [him]56-robbie to come hard , quick . . . and unbridled . [I]2959-i need to own [him]56-robbie tonight . Pleasing [him]56-robbie makes [me]2959-i feel good about [myself]2959-i , and this new version of [Emily]186-jameson is [someone [I]2959-i like]738-someone i like . [I]2959-i want to keep [her]186-jameson . “ [Emily]186-jameson , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie growls as [he]56-robbie grabs a handful of [my]2959-i hair . “ [We]740-we ’re [home]2289-home . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie pushes the lock down on the door just before [[his]56-robbie driver]739-his driver tries to open it . [I]2959-i scramble to the seat , and [he]56-robbie zips [his]56-robbie jeans up as [we]740-we both pant , gasping for air . What the hell ? [This man]56-robbie makes [me]2959-i an animal . [He]56-robbie turns to [me]2959-i and smirks as [he]56-robbie fixes [my]2959-i hair . “ Let ’s just get to [the apartment]2627-the apartment , shall [we]740-we ? ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie kisses [me]2959-i tenderly ; [his]56-robbie lips linger over [mine]2959-i as [we]740-we stare at each other . “ It ’s good to see [you]56-robbie again , [Emily Foster]186-jameson , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie whispers . [I]2959-i lick [my]2959-i lips as [I]2959-i climb back over to straddle [him]56-robbie . “ It ’s good to taste [you]56-robbie again , [Jameson Miles]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i rock [my]2959-i sex over [him]56-robbie , and [he]56-robbie grabs [my]2959-i hip bones and holds [me]2959-i still . “ Stop , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie commands . “ Stop now . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i lips up to [his]56-robbie ear . “ [I]2959-i want [you]56-robbie to blow [your]56-robbie load in [[your]56-robbie car]2628-your car , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper before biting [him]56-robbie . “ Fuck [me]2959-i right here . ”[2959-i] “ Jesus Christ . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie pushes [me]2959-i off and opens the door in one swift movement , and [the driver]530-the driver drops [his]56-robbie head as [he]530-the driver pretends not to know what [we]742-we were doing in [there]2369-there . “ Thank [you]2959-i , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson says as [he]530-the driver pulls [me]2959-i out and marches into [the building]375-the elevator . [We]742-we get into [the elevator]375-the elevator , and [the attendant]278-the attendant stares straight ahead . [I]2959-i ’m panting , dripping wet , and [my]2959-i sex is throbbing . [I]2959-i ’m a hot mess . [Jameson]186-jameson ’s eyes are dark as [he]186-jameson stares straight ahead at the closed doors . [God]0-aaron , [I]2959-i need [him]186-jameson . The doors open , and [he]186-jameson pulls [me]2959-i out by the hand . [Our]742-we lips are locked , and [he]186-jameson walks [me]2959-i into [[his]186-jameson apartment]514-the room backward . “ Is n’t this how [we]742-we got into [the room]514-the room last time ? ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i smile as [he]186-jameson lifts [me]2959-i . “ Similar . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson puts [me]2959-i down , and [I]2959-i look around , and [my]2959-i heart drops . “ What the hell , [Jim]266-jim ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper through shock . “ What ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson frowns . “ This is [[your]266-jim house]2529-your house ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask as [my]2959-i eyes scan [the room]2627-the apartment . [His]186-jameson lips drop to [my]2959-i neck as [he]186-jameson licks and sucks down [my]2959-i collarbone ; [he]186-jameson ’s completely preoccupied . [The apartment]2627-the apartment is huge and modern , with floor - to - ceiling windows and the lights of [New York]385-new york twinkling everywhere [I]2959-i look . Lamps are strategically placed to give a warm feeling . [I]2959-i ’ve never been anywhere so beautiful . . . or foreign . The floors are a light timber parquetry , and luxurious velvet and leather furnishings fill the space . [The living room]2627-the apartment has a fireplace with a huge gilded mirror hanging over it and a beautiful antique rug . “ Stop looking at [the apartment]2627-the apartment , and look at [me]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson grabs [my]2959-i face and drags it back to [his]186-jameson . [I]2959-i stare at [him]186-jameson . “ What ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson murmurs . “ [This apartment]2627-the apartment . ”[186-jameson] “ What about it ? ”[186-jameson] “ [You]186-jameson come from [a different world]2630-a different world than [me]2959-i , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Who cares ? ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ [I]748-our want [you]186-jameson , and [you]186-jameson want [me]748-our . What else is there ? ”[748-our] [Our]748-our kiss turns desperate as [he]186-jameson slams [me]2959-i up against the wall and tears [my]2959-i dress from [my]2959-i body in one quick movement . [I]2959-i push [his]186-jameson jacket over [his]186-jameson shoulders and grab [his]186-jameson T - shirt and lift it off and then unzip [his]186-jameson jeans , and [he]186-jameson kicks them to the side . [We]748-our stare at each other , both in [our]748-our underwear , both panting , both craving a deeper connection . It ’s like Christmas morning . . . only better . Next thing [I]2959-i know , [I]2959-i ’m being dragged through [[his]186-jameson apartment]2494-his apartment and thrown onto the bed . [He]186-jameson tears [my]2959-i underwear from [my]2959-i body . [His]186-jameson hungry gaze drops down the length of [my]2959-i body as [he]186-jameson drinks [me]2959-i in . And there it is — the heat that [this man]186-jameson creates with [his]186-jameson stare could light up the earth . The way [he]186-jameson looks at [me]2959-i is something [I]2959-i ’ve never forgotten . [He]186-jameson lifts [my]2959-i legs and puts them around [his]186-jameson waist and then begins to slide [his]186-jameson thick cock through [my]2959-i swollen flesh . A sexy smile crosses [his]186-jameson face as [he]186-jameson looks down at [me]2959-i . “ [I]186-jameson remember now . ”[186-jameson] “ [You]186-jameson remember what ? ”[186-jameson] “ What the F stands for in [your]186-jameson initials . ”[186-jameson] “ What ’s that ? ”[186-jameson] “ Fuck bunny . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i burst out laughing . “ [I]2959-i ’d forgotten about that . ”[2959-i] “ How could [you]186-jameson forget anything ? Every detail from that night is burned into [my]186-jameson brain . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson hands [me]2959-i a condom . “ Put it on [me]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [My]2959-i lips softly kiss [his]186-jameson dick before [I]2959-i follow [his]186-jameson instruction . So bossy . “ Like what ? ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i whisper up at [him]186-jameson . [I]2959-i lie down , and [he]186-jameson crawls back over [me]2959-i . “ Like the way [you]186-jameson looked at [me]186-jameson , the way [you]186-jameson tasted under [my]186-jameson tongue . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson lips take [mine]2959-i , and [our]750-our kiss deepens . “ [I]186-jameson remember how every muscle deep inside [you]186-jameson felt when [your]186-jameson body rippled around [mine]2959-i . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i smile up at [him]186-jameson in wonder as [I]2959-i run [my]2959-i fingers through [his]186-jameson stubble . Please do n’t be any more gorgeous . [I]2959-i wo n’t be able to deal with [you]186-jameson at all . “ But it was the way [you]186-jameson kissed [me]2959-i that [I]2959-i remember the most . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes search [his]186-jameson . “ How did [I]2959-i kiss [you]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] “ Like [you]186-jameson ’d been waiting [your]186-jameson whole life to kiss [me]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson slides in deep , and [my]2959-i heart constricts . [I]2959-i bring [my]2959-i legs higher . “ Maybe [I]2959-i had . ”[2959-i] [We]751-we stare at each other , [his]186-jameson body inside [mine]2959-i , and even though [I]2959-i know that this is just sex and that it means nothing , it feels intimate and special . . . more than it should . Stop it . Stop overthinking this . “ Are [you]186-jameson going to keep jabbering on , or are [you]186-jameson going to fuck [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i tease to lighten the moment . [He]186-jameson chuckles and pulls out and slams into [me]2959-i , knocking the air from [my]2959-i lungs . [I]2959-i cry out . Oh . . . dear God . [I]2959-i think [I]2959-i just woke [the devil]2540-the devil . [He]186-jameson pumps [me]2959-i with [his]186-jameson knees spread wide , harder and harder , and with every slam [he]186-jameson lifts [my]2959-i legs a little higher and a little wider . [He]186-jameson holds [himself]186-jameson still and then circles deep inside [me]2959-i . [My]2959-i head tips back to the sky as [I]2959-i lose all coherent thought . “ Oh God , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whimper as [his]186-jameson teeth graze [my]2959-i neck . “ That ’s so good . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson keeps doing the delicious movement as [his]186-jameson thumb circles over [my]2959-i clitoris . [My]2959-i body begins to shudder , and [he]186-jameson grabs [my]2959-i face and brings it to [his]186-jameson . [Our]753-our eyes lock as [my]2959-i body arches and writhes beneath [him]186-jameson . “ Look at [me]186-jameson while [you]186-jameson come on [my]186-jameson cock , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson commands as [he]186-jameson straightens [his]186-jameson arms and puts [my]2959-i legs over [his]186-jameson shoulders . The change in position deepens [him]186-jameson inside of [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i convulse as [he]186-jameson slams into [me]2959-i . [His]186-jameson body begins to take [mine]2959-i at piston pace , and [I]2959-i grip [his]186-jameson arms as [I]2959-i stare up at [him]186-jameson . “ Fuck yeah , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson growls . “ Fuck . . . fuck . . . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson tips [his]186-jameson head back and cries out as [I]2959-i feel the telling jerk as [he]186-jameson comes deep inside [me]2959-i . [We]754-we ’re wet with perspiration , and [he]186-jameson bends and tenderly takes [my]2959-i lips with [his]186-jameson . [My]2959-i heart races out of control as [I]2959-i stare at the ceiling , gasping for air . [His]186-jameson head is in [my]2959-i neck , [his]186-jameson lips trailing along [my]2959-i collarbone . What the fuck was that ? That was n’t sex — that was an apocalyptic event . [I]2959-i ’m ruined . [I]2959-i wake in the darkness ; the glow of the [New York]385-new york city lights illuminates through [the room]514-the room . It ’s late — or early . About four in the morning , [I]2959-i think . [We]754-we did n’t shut the drapes before going to sleep . What a night . [We]754-we devoured each other until [we]754-we had nothing left . [I]2959-i stare at [him]186-jameson as [he]186-jameson lies flat on [his]186-jameson back in an exhausted sleep . [I]2959-i do n’t know what [we]754-we are to each other , but [I]2959-i do know that [he]186-jameson ’s [[my]2959-i sexual soul mate]756-my sexual soul mate . Is that even a thing ? [Our]754-we bodies are like animals with each other ; [neither of [us]754-we]757-neither of us could get enough . The thirst just could n’t be quenched . If [he]186-jameson were to wake up now , [I]2959-i would be instantly aroused , as [I]2959-i know [he]186-jameson would be . [He]186-jameson ’s right , this is primal . [I]2959-i ’m thirsty , so [I]2959-i climb out of bed and throw on [his]186-jameson robe and make [my]2959-i way out to [the kitchen]2627-the apartment in search of water . [We]754-we left the lamps on , so [the rooms]2627-the apartment are partially lit . [I]2959-i do n’t even remember getting to [the bedroom]2627-the apartment . [I]2959-i find a glass and pour [myself]2959-i some water from the fridge , and as [I]2959-i look around , [my]2959-i heart drops . What the hell kind of [kitchen]759-kitchen is this ? It ’s like [a restaurant]760-a restaurant . [I]2959-i walk back out to [the living room]2627-the apartment and stare out over [the city]2-the city way down below . [My]2959-i eyes roam over [the apartment]2627-the apartment , and [my]2959-i heart flutters . This is real money . Stupid money . [[My]2959-i entire apartment]2627-the apartment would fit into [[his]2627-the apartment bedroom]2627-the apartment alone . What does a place like this cost ? [Our]754-we clothes are strewn all over the floor , and [I]2959-i pick them up and fold them and put them onto the coffee table . [I]2959-i see something light up on the floor . [I]2959-i frown and bend to pick up [Jameson]186-jameson ’s phone . It must have fallen out of [his]186-jameson pocket as [we]754-we were undressing . The screen lights up as a message comes through , and the name [Chloe]135-chloe flashes on the screen . Where are [you]762-you ? Did [your]762-you meeting go late ? [I]2959-i stare at the phone . What the fuck ? Who ’s [Chloe]135-chloe ? [Jameson]186-jameson [I]2959-i wake to the sound of [my]2959-i alarm , and [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i stretch ; [I]2959-i ’m sated and sleepy . Relaxed for the first time in a long time . What a night . . . what [a woman]339-a woman . [I]2959-i reach for [Emily]186-jameson and frown when [I]2959-i realize [she]186-jameson ’s not in bed with [me]2959-i . [She]186-jameson must be in [the bathroom]300-the bathroom . [I]2959-i doze for another twenty minutes , and eventually when [she]186-jameson does n’t return , [I]2959-i get up . “ [Emily]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i call as [I]2959-i walk into [the bathroom]300-the bathroom . It ’s empty . [I]2959-i walk out into [the living area]765-the living area . “ [Emily]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i call . Silence . “ Where is [she]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look around to see [my]2959-i clothes folded on the coffee table and notice that [hers]186-jameson . . . are gone . “ [Emily]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i call as [I]2959-i do a 360 of [[my]2959-i apartment]766-my apartment . “ [Emily]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i clench [my]2959-i jaw as [my]2959-i anger begins to escalate . [I]2959-i dial [her]186-jameson number as a shade of red clouds [my]2959-i vision . [I]2959-i hear [my]2959-i furious heartbeat in [my]2959-i ears as adrenaline fills [my]2959-i bloodstream . “ Hello , ”[186-jameson] [she]186-jameson answers . “ Where the fuck are [you]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sneer . Chapter 8 [Jameson]186-jameson “ [I]186-jameson had to go , ”[186-jameson] [she]186-jameson stammers . “ Why ? ”[186-jameson] “ [I]186-jameson needed to be at work early . ”[186-jameson] “ [You]186-jameson did n’t think to wake [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ [You]186-jameson piss [me]2959-i off . ”[2959-i] “ Do n’t start [your]186-jameson righteous shit with [me]186-jameson . [I]186-jameson ’ll leave when [I]186-jameson fucking want to . ”[186-jameson] The phone goes dead . [I]2959-i inhale sharply ; [nobody]2321-nobody hangs up on [me]2959-i . [Nobody]2321-nobody . [I]2959-i clench [my]2959-i jaw and throw [my]2959-i phone onto the couch . [This woman]186-jameson is fucking infuriating . [I]2959-i walk into [[my]2959-i office]455-my office , open [my]2959-i laptop , and log in to [my]2959-i security footage . [I]2959-i take a seat as [I]2959-i wait for it to load . An image of [my]2959-i front door comes up , and [I]2959-i hit rewind and watch as it goes back in fast - forward . [I]2959-i catch sight of [her]186-jameson leaving , and [I]2959-i stop the film . What time was it ? It was 3:58 a.m. [She]186-jameson had to go to work early ? Bullshit . [She]186-jameson waited for [me]2959-i to fall asleep and then immediately left . [I]2959-i sit back in [my]2959-i chair as [my]2959-i anger escalates . “ [I]2959-i do n’t know what the fuck [you]2631-you ’re playing at , [Emily Foster]186-jameson , but [I]2959-i wo n’t have it . If [you]2631-you ’re with [me]2959-i , [you]2631-you ’re with [me]2959-i . And [you]2631-you ’ll do as [I]2959-i fucking say . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i slam [my]2959-i computer shut and storm [upstairs]2392-upstairs . [She]186-jameson ’s looking for a fight . [She]186-jameson just found one . An hour later , [I]2959-i walk through [the foyer of [[my]2959-i building]703-my building]770-the foyer of my building and out to [[my]2959-i car]2625-my car . “ Good morning , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles . ”[246-alan] [Alan]246-alan smiles as [he]246-alan opens the door of [[my]2959-i limo]2625-my car . “ Morning , ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i say as [I]2959-i get in . The usual pile of newspapers is on the seat , along with [my]2959-i coffee , and [I]2959-i begin [my]2959-i morning ritual . It takes [us]773-our forty minutes to drive the thirteen miles to [[my]2959-i building]703-my building , so [I]2959-i use this time to keep track of [[our]773-our competitors]2568-our competitors . [I]2959-i flick through the pile and pick up [the Gazette]596-the gazette , [[our]773-our closest competitor]776-our closest competitor , and [I]2959-i scan the front page . “ Their formatting is appalling , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i mutter under [my]2959-i breath as [I]2959-i flick it open . [I]2959-i read page one and two , and then [I]2959-i get to page three . Breaking News [The NYPD]777-the nypd has closed in on a top - secret investigation . The murder was originally attributed to [a man police had nicknamed [Stoneface]138-stoneface , who has been linked to more than 85 burglaries in [Brooklyn]13-brooklyn , [New York]385-new york]778-a man police had nicknamed stoneface , who has been linked to more than 85 burglaries in brooklyn , new york . But with DNA evidence , [investigators]779-investigators now believe the crimes were committed by [the same suspect that has been called [the Red Ribbon Killer in other parts of [the state]781-the state]780-the red ribbon killer]780-the red ribbon killer . “ With this filing , [we]2632-we have officially linked [Stoneface]138-stoneface to [an individual known as the Red Ribbon Killer]2633-an individual known as the red ribbon killer , ”[139-matthew] said [Matthew Price]139-matthew , [[Brooklyn County]22-brooklyn county district attorney]782-brooklyn county district attorney . [Stoneface]138-stoneface , [an auto mechanic]783-an auto mechanic , is wanted after [police]784-police tracked [him]138-stoneface down by matching [his]138-stoneface DNA with a genealogy website . [He]138-stoneface has been accused of killing 5 and raping [45 people]785-45 people in what [police]784-police are describing as a premeditated crime spree . [He]138-stoneface was nicknamed [the Red Ribbon Killer]780-the red ribbon killer because [the victims]786-the victims had a red ribbon tied around [their]786-the victims neck after [they]786-the victims were murdered . [Police]784-police have tracked [his]138-stoneface whereabouts , and an arrest is expected today . “ Fuck . ”[186-jameson] It ’s [Emily]186-jameson ’s story , just worded differently . [I]2959-i take out [my]2959-i phone and call [Tristan]2430-tristan as [my]2959-i blood pressure rises to boiling point . “ Hey , ”[2430-tristan] [he]2430-tristan answers . “ Page three of the Gazette , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ [You]2430-tristan ’re joking ? ”[2959-i] “ Nope . ”[135-chloe] “ Fucking hell . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan sighs . “ See [you]2430-tristan soon . ”[2430-tristan] [I]2959-i hang up , and [my]2959-i phone vibrates . The name [Chloe]135-chloe lights up the screen ; [I]2959-i hit decline . [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i coffee and stare out the window as contempt drips from [my]2959-i every pore . It ’s one thing to be deceived , but to be sold out by [one of [[our]788-our own staff members]789-our own staff members]787-one of our own staff members is a whole new level of betrayal . When [I]2959-i get [my]2959-i hands on [whoever]790-whoever is responsible for this , there will be fucking hell to pay . Half an hour later , [I]2959-i walk into [[my]2959-i office]455-my office and find three of [[my]2959-i favorite people]792-my favorite people inside . [[My]2959-i brothers]2616-my brothers . “ Hello . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk . “ [Jesus]107-jesus , [you]107-jesus ’ve both got uglier since [I]2616-my brothers last saw [you]107-jesus . [I]2616-my brothers did n’t think it was possible . ”[2616-my brothers] [They]2616-my brothers chuckle , and [we]788-our hug . [I]2959-i miss [[my]2959-i brothers]2616-my brothers . [Their]2616-my brothers role in [the company]2358-the company requires [them]2616-my brothers to live in [the UK]795-the uk ; [they]2616-my brothers work out of [the London office]2369-there . [I]2959-i only get to see [them]2616-my brothers once a month when [I]2959-i travel over [there]2369-there , [Tristan]2430-tristan the same . Although [he]2430-tristan gets to stay longer , so [he]2430-tristan gets more time with [them]2616-my brothers . [I]2959-i slap the Gazette onto [my]2959-i desk . “ What the hell is this ? ”[2959-i] “ Fucking hell , ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan whispers as [they]2616-my brothers all take a seat around the board table . “ What ’s going on ? ”[140-elliot] [Elliot]140-elliot snaps . “ [I]2959-i do n’t believe this . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i exhale heavily . “ [We]2634-we got [a new staff member]2400-a new staff member , [Emily Foster]186-jameson . ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan smirks , and [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . “ And ? ”[141-christopher] [Christopher]141-christopher interrupts . “ [She]186-jameson ran a story on [her]186-jameson second day and was n’t sure of the name of [the suspect]2636-the suspect , so [she]186-jameson made one up on the spot and planned on changing it when [she]186-jameson got back to [the office]385-new york . ”[2616-my brothers] [They]2616-my brothers frown as [they]2616-my brothers listen . “ Only [she]186-jameson forgot . ”[2616-my brothers] “ [Jesus]107-jesus . ”[140-elliot] [Elliot]140-elliot rolls [his]140-elliot eyes . “ Useless . ”[140-elliot] “ No , ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan says . “ Diabolical . The exact same story ran in the Gazette the next day . . . with the bogus name . ”[140-elliot] [Elliot]140-elliot and [Christopher]141-christopher frown as [they]2616-my brothers listen . “ How do [you]2430-tristan know this ? ”[141-christopher] [Christopher]141-christopher asks . “ [I]2959-i know [the reporter]2638-the reporter . [We]797-we met a while ago . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pause , not wanting to elaborate . “ [You]2430-tristan know who [she]2638-the reporter is ? ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan smirks . “ Who ? ”[2430-tristan] [Elliot]140-elliot ’s eyes flick between [us]797-we . “ Remember ages ago [Jay]108-jay got [a motherfucking huge hickey]2639-a motherfucking huge hickey ? ”[2616-my brothers] [Their]2616-my brothers faces fall . “ No . ”[140-elliot] [Elliot]140-elliot pinches the bridge of [his]140-elliot nose . “ Please . . . do n’t tell [me]140-elliot . ”[140-elliot] [He]140-elliot laughs out loud . “ What did [you]140-elliot call it ? Stopover shame . ”[140-elliot] “ [I]2959-i had to wear a fucking turtleneck for two weeks . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sigh in disgust . “ Remember the black - tie dinner for [[Mom]70-mom ’s charity]2640-mom ’s charity ? ”[2959-i] [Tristan]2430-tristan throws [his]140-elliot head back and laughs . “ And [you]140-elliot had the hugest hickey [anyone]272-anyone had ever seen . ”[140-elliot] [He]140-elliot chuckles at the memory . “ And [you]140-elliot had to hide from [Mom]70-mom all night and wear cover - up on [your]140-elliot neck . That was fucking hilarious , [man]2430-tristan . ”[140-elliot] “ [Mortifying]143-mortifying . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shiver as [I]2959-i think back . “ Anyway , back to the story . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i glare at [Tristan]2430-tristan for bringing it up . “ [Emily]186-jameson — that ’s [her]186-jameson name — unbeknownst to [me]2959-i got a job [here]385-new york . [She]186-jameson started three weeks ago , and then this mishap with the name happened . [She]186-jameson came to [me]2959-i with suspicions that something fishy was going on . A fake name that [she]186-jameson made up on the spot was no coincidence . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look around at [[my]2959-i brothers]2616-my brothers . “ [Our]2616-my brothers stories are being sold on [the black market]2644-the black market . ”[2959-i] “ For fuck ’s sake , ”[140-elliot] [Elliot]140-elliot snaps . “ [Our]2616-my brothers share prices are dropping because [we]2616-my brothers are no longer breaking news . ”[140-elliot] [Elliot]140-elliot shakes [his]140-elliot head in disgust . “ Because the reporters that [we]2616-my brothers are paying for are working for [our]2616-my brothers competition , ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan snaps . “ [We]2616-my brothers tested the theory this week . [We]2616-my brothers got [Emily]186-jameson to write a bogus story and submit it through the regular channels , and look . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hit the paper with the backs of [my]2959-i fingers . “ Here it is , page three of the Gazette . ”[2959-i] [They]799-they all stare at the paper in front of [us]800-we , deep in thought . “ So . . . what do [we]800-we do ? ”[799-they] “ Firing [everyone]2304-everyone works for [me]2959-i , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ No , [we]800-we have to do this properly . There are [a hundred people on that floor]2646-a hundred people on that floor . Not to mention IT and [the mailroom]2647-the mailroom . ”[801-the boys] [The boys]801-the boys break into chatter as [they]801-the boys discuss [our]800-we options . [I]2959-i push [my]2959-i intercom . “ Can [we]800-we get [Richard]246-alan from legal up here , please ? ”[2959-i] “ Yes , [sir]246-alan . ”[2959-i] “ Should [Emily]186-jameson write another story so [we]800-we can track it more closely ? ”[140-elliot] [Elliot]140-elliot asks . “ No , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ [I]2430-tristan do n’t want [her]186-jameson involved again . [I]2430-tristan do n’t want [her]186-jameson up here at all . ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan smirks . “ [I]2959-i ’m going to wipe that stupid smirk off [your]2430-tristan face in a minute , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ Scared [she]186-jameson ’s going to give [you]2430-tristan another hickey ? ”[140-elliot] [Elliot]140-elliot jokes . “ Must have some pretty good suction going on . ”[802-they] [They]802-they all laugh . [I]2959-i glare at [him]140-elliot . “ Cut the shit . [I]2959-i ’m not in the fucking mood for this today . ”[2959-i] There is a knock on the door . “ Come in , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i call . [Richard]246-alan comes into view . “ Please take a seat . ”[246-alan] “ How can [I]140-elliot help [you]2430-tristan ? ”[140-elliot] [He]140-elliot smiles . “ [We]803-we have reason to believe that [someone on the news floor]2648-someone on the news floor is selling [our]803-we stories to [a competitor]2649-a competitor . How do [we]803-we legally handle this ? ”[246-alan] [Richard]246-alan frowns as [he]140-elliot looks between [us]803-we . “ Are [you]2430-tristan sure ? ”[246-alan] “ Yes . ”[140-elliot] “ Well . ”[140-elliot] [He]140-elliot exhales as [he]140-elliot thinks . “ [You]2430-tristan would hire [a corporate investigation firm]2650-a corporate investigation firm . ”[140-elliot] “ What do [they]2651-professionals do ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ [They]2651-professionals are [business - centric]2652-business - centric and can involve verifying the legitimacy of [a business partner]2653-a business partner or deal , looking into loss or theft of proprietary information , identifying the potential of a damaged reputation , things like that . ”[2959-i] “ No , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say as [I]2959-i stand . “ [I]2959-i do n’t want [a stranger]2330-a stranger in here sniffing around . What if the story breaks ? It will do more damage to [our]803-we reputation . ”[2959-i] “ With all due respect , [Jameson]186-jameson , [I]246-alan do n’t see how [you]2430-tristan have any other choice , ”[246-alan] [Richard]246-alan says . “ Do [you]2430-tristan know any ? ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan asks . “ No . But [I]2430-tristan can find out who to use . ”[2430-tristan] “ [I]246-alan do n’t like it . ”[246-alan] “ [They]2651-professionals ’re [professionals]2651-professionals . [They]2651-professionals deal with things like this all the time . [You]2430-tristan wo n’t even know [they]2651-professionals are in [the building]361-the building , ”[246-alan] [Richard]246-alan continues . “ How does it work ? ”[246-alan] “ [They]2651-professionals usually come in undercover , act as [one of [the workers]2657-the workers]2656-one of the workers while [they]2651-professionals watch and trace . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes in disgust . “ How ridiculous . This is n’t a fucking MacGyver episode . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [[my]2959-i brothers]2616-my brothers , and [I]2959-i know [I]2959-i ’ve been forced into a corner . There is no other way around this , and [I]2959-i know [I]2959-i must concede . “ Fine . ”[186-jameson] [Emily]186-jameson An hour earlier [I]2959-i power walk up [the street]550-the street among [the crowd]265-the crowd . [I]2959-i ’ll never get used to these busy [New York]385-new york sidewalks no matter how long [I]2959-i live [here]385-new york . [I]2959-i ’m exhausted . [I]2959-i was up half the night having sex , and [I]2959-i have n’t been back to sleep since [I]2959-i left [Jameson]186-jameson ’s at four o’clock . God , what a nightmare this whole situation is . And who the fuck is [Chloe]135-chloe ? [I]2959-i order [my]2959-i iced coffee , and as [I]2959-i wait , [I]2959-i buy the Gazette at the newsstand . [I]2959-i ’ll read it at lunch . [I]2959-i wonder if [they]808-they have any jobs available . [I]2959-i ’m probably going to need one soon . With a heavy heart , [my]2959-i mind goes to [Jameson]186-jameson . Damn it , why does something always have to go wrong with [the men [I]2959-i like]809-the men i like ? If only [he]810-he were just [a normal guy]811-a normal guy — with [a normal shitty apartment]812-a normal shitty apartment and [a shitty car]813-a shitty car and [no women]814-no women texting [him]810-he — [he]810-he would be perfect . In every way . [I]2959-i get a vision of [us]815-we last night as [we]815-we made love and kissed for hours , and sadness sweeps over [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i hate that [we]815-we connect so deeply on a physical level . It ’s just sex , [you]816-you idiot . Bone - shattering , awesome , toe - curling sex . [I]2959-i imagine [Jameson Miles]186-jameson would have that with [every woman [he]186-jameson ’s with]817-every woman he ’s with . [He]186-jameson ’s that kind of guy with that kind of a dick . [Ugh]61-ugh . [I]2959-i take [my]2959-i coffee and make the depressing walk to [the office]385-new york . [I]2959-i ’m not thinking about [him]186-jameson today , and [I]2959-i ’m most definitely not telling [him]186-jameson that [I]2959-i know about [Chloe]135-chloe . [Whoever Chloe]135-chloe is . All [I]2959-i know is that if [she]135-chloe ’s texting [him]186-jameson with where - are - [you]819-you messages in the middle of the night , something ’s going on , and [he]186-jameson ’s all [hers]135-chloe . [She]135-chloe can have [him]186-jameson . [I]2959-i may be a lot of things , but [a man stealer [I]2959-i ’m not]820-a man stealer i ’m not . [Douchebag]144-douchebag . How dare [he]186-jameson use [me]2959-i for sex ? The bitter taste of betrayal lines [my]2959-i mouth ; [I]2959-i can act brave all [I]2959-i want , but the truth is [I]2959-i ’m upset . Last night was perfect — more than perfect — and then [he]186-jameson had to go and wreck it . [I]2959-i thought [I]2959-i spent the night with [Jim]266-jim , but instead [I]2959-i got the sleazebag [Jameson Miles]186-jameson version . How did n’t [I]2959-i see it ? [I]2959-i trudge into [the building]361-the building and up to [my]2959-i floor , and [I]2959-i fall into [my]2959-i seat in disgust . “ Hi , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say . “ Hey . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron spins on [his]0-aaron chair toward [me]2959-i . “ How did it go ? ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i glance up at the camera above . Is [he]0-aaron watching ? “ Good , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i lie . “ [I]2959-i ’ll tell [you]2959-i about it tonight . [We]2658-we are drinking . ”[2959-i] “ Drinking ? ”[0-aaron] “ Everything [we]2658-we see . ”[0-aaron] [His]0-aaron face falls . “ Oh . . . it went that kind of good . ”[0-aaron] “ Precisely , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i mutter flatly . “ What ’s going on around here today ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron whispers . “ What do [you]2959-i mean ? ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i look up from [my]2959-i computer . “ [Tristan]2430-tristan is buzzing around , and [Jameson]186-jameson has been down to the floor already . ”[2959-i] “ What time is it ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i glance at [my]2959-i watch . “ It ’s only eight forty - five . [They]2658-we are never down here at this hour , if at all . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i know . ”[2959-i] “ Hmm . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i watch [Tristan]2430-tristan as [he]2430-tristan talks to [the floor manager]491-the floor manager , and [he]2430-tristan seems to have a stern face on . “ Do [you]2959-i think something ’s wrong ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ [I]2959-i do n’t know . Did [you]2959-i piss [Mr. J]127-j off last night ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk . “ Maybe [he]2430-tristan ’s [upstairs]2392-upstairs throwing a tantrum . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i ’m probably about to get fired . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile happily as [I]2959-i open [my]2959-i computer . Good , [I]2959-i hope [he]2430-tristan ’s pissed . Two hours later , [I]2959-i glance up and see [two men [I]2959-i have n’t seen before]823-two men i have n’t seen before . “ Who are [they]823-two men i have n’t seen before ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [Molly]198-molly looks up , and [her]198-molly face falls . “ Oh [Lord]2660-lord have mercy . . . thank [you]2660-lord , [God]0-aaron . ”[198-molly] “ Huh ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ That ’s [Elliot]140-elliot and [Christopher Miles]141-christopher . [They]823-two men i have n’t seen before ’ve flown in from [the UK]795-the uk . Must be a board meeting or something going on this week . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes widen . “ [[Jameson]186-jameson ’s brothers]2662-jameson ’s brothers ? ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly smiles dreamily as [she]198-molly watches [them]823-two men i have n’t seen before . “ Uh - huh . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly looks over to [Aaron]0-aaron , who is also openly staring . “ [I]198-molly call [Elliot]140-elliot . ”[198-molly] “ Good , because [I]0-aaron call [Christopher]141-christopher , ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron whispers right back . “ Can [you]141-christopher please set [us]2663-us up on a brother date ? ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly whispers . “ Yes , and [we]2663-us need to swing , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron replies . “ Because [I]0-aaron want all four . [I]0-aaron ca n’t choose . ”[0-aaron] “ Can [you]141-christopher imagine ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly murmurs . “ Makes [me]198-molly blush just thinking of it . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly fans [her]198-molly face with [her]198-molly manila folder as [her]198-molly eyes stay glued to [the brothers]824-the miles brothers . “ Imagine all of [them]824-the miles brothers in bed together . . . taking turns with [your]141-christopher body . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes in disgust . “ [The Miles brothers]824-the miles brothers are overrated , if [you]141-christopher ask [me]824-the miles brothers . ”[824-the miles brothers] [They]824-the miles brothers ’re not , though . [I]2959-i ’m lying through [my]2959-i teeth . All with dark hair , tall , and built . . . square jaws in [their]824-the miles brothers designer playboy suits . Everything about the four of [them]824-the miles brothers screams power and gorgeousness . [Assholes]145-assholes . [Jameson]186-jameson has n’t been to see [me]2959-i today . [I]2959-i have n’t heard from [him]186-jameson , and if the truth be known , [he]186-jameson ’s probably [upstairs]2392-upstairs making out on [his]186-jameson office couch with [Chloe]135-chloe as [we]826-we speak . [Ugh]61-ugh . [I]2959-i ’m off [all men]2306-all men . How could [I]2959-i have been so stupid ? 4:30 p.m. “ Oh [my]198-molly God , did [you]198-molly see the story in [the Gazette]596-the gazette ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly says . “ No , what ? ”[198-molly] “ [The Red Ribbon Killer]780-the red ribbon killer . [I]2959-i do n’t even feel safe on [the subway]2666-the subway tonight . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes flick to [her]198-molly . “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ Yeah , it ’s one of [their]828-their lead stories today . [I]198-molly was reading it online just now . ”[198-molly] “ Are [you]198-molly kidding [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i click onto [their]828-their website and search for the story , and sure enough , the story comes up , almost word for word . . . [my]2959-i words . [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i hand over [my]2959-i mouth in horror as [I]2959-i read it . Oh [[my]2959-i God]2363-my god . That ’s why [they]830-they ’re all [here]385-new york today ; [they]830-they ’re in damage control . [I]2959-i stare at the story on [my]2959-i computer . It ’s there in black and white , but [I]2959-i ca n’t actually believe it . [I]2959-i look at [all the people in [the office]2600-jameson ’s office]832-all the people in the office acting calm and professional . Who is it ? [Thieving bastard]56-robbie . “ [I]56-robbie ’ve got to go and see [someone]2326-someone . Back in a minute . ”[56-robbie] [I]2959-i practically run to [the elevator]375-the elevator and take it to the top floor . Why did n’t [he]56-robbie say anything to [me]2959-i ? “ Hello , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say as [I]2959-i brush through reception . “ Excuse [me]625-the receptionist , [Emily]186-jameson , ”[625-the receptionist] [the receptionist]625-the receptionist calls . “ [He]56-robbie ’s not taking [visitors]2398-visitors right now . ”[625-the receptionist] “ Whatever . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i storm through to [[Jameson]186-jameson ’s office]2600-jameson ’s office , and [I]2959-i knock on the door . “ Yes ? ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie barks . [I]2959-i open the door to find [him]56-robbie sitting behind [his]56-robbie large desk ; blue eyes rise to meet [mine]2959-i . “ What is it ? ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie asks coldly . [I]2959-i walk in and close the door behind [me]2959-i . “ [I]2959-i saw the story . ”[2959-i] “ And ? ”[56-robbie] “ Well . . . why did n’t [you]186-jameson tell [me]56-robbie ? It was [my]56-robbie story . [I]56-robbie thought [you]186-jameson would have at least told [me]56-robbie . ”[56-robbie] “ [Ms. Foster]126-ms. foster . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie clenches [his]56-robbie jaw as if [I]2959-i ’m a huge annoyance . “ [I]56-robbie do n’t have time to play [your]126-ms. foster juvenile games . ”[56-robbie] “ What does that mean ? ”[56-robbie] “ It means [I]56-robbie ’m very busy . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie goes back to typing . [I]2959-i stare at [him]56-robbie for a moment . What ? “ Close the door on [your]126-ms. foster way out , please . ”[56-robbie] The fucking nerve of [this man]56-robbie . [He]56-robbie sleeps with [me]2959-i while [he]56-robbie ’s seeing [someone else]433-someone else and then has the audacity to treat [me]2959-i like this . Something snaps deep inside [me]2959-i . “ Who the hell do [you]126-ms. foster think [you]126-ms. foster are ? ”[56-robbie] “ Here [we]2669-we go , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie mutters under [his]56-robbie breath . “ What ? ”[56-robbie] [I]2959-i cry . “ Here [we]2669-we go ? Are [you]126-ms. foster fucking serious ? ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie rests [his]56-robbie chin on [his]56-robbie hand as [he]56-robbie glares at [me]2959-i . “ What was last night ? Huh ? ”[56-robbie] [I]2959-i cry . Alarm bells start screaming around [me]2959-i . This is the worst thing [I]2959-i could possibly do , but [I]2959-i ’ve lost all control . “ [You]126-ms. foster ’re seeing [someone else]433-someone else ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . “ Who ’s [Chloe]135-chloe , [Jameson]186-jameson ? ”[56-robbie] [His]56-robbie eyebrow rises , and [he]56-robbie stands and walks toward the door . “ Out . ”[56-robbie] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap in disbelief . “ [You]126-ms. foster ’re kicking [me]2959-i out ? ”[2959-i] “ What [I]56-robbie ’m doing is being professional . [I]56-robbie suggest [you]126-ms. foster do the same thing . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie stands over [me]2959-i . “ [You]126-ms. foster know what ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper up at [him]56-robbie through tears of rage . “ [You]126-ms. foster can go fuck [yourself]126-ms. foster . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie glares at [me]2959-i . “ Not that it ’s any of [your]126-ms. foster business , but [Chloe]135-chloe is [my]56-robbie masseuse . [I]56-robbie had an appointment with [her]135-chloe last night that [I]56-robbie was n’t [home]2289-home for . Those text messages came through hours after [she]135-chloe sent [them]2672-them . ”[56-robbie] [I]2959-i stare at [him]56-robbie as [my]2959-i heart hammers in [my]2959-i chest . “ Do not check [my]56-robbie fucking phone ever again . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie sneers as [he]56-robbie turns [his]56-robbie back on [me]2959-i and goes and sits back at [his]56-robbie desk . [I]2959-i stare at [him]56-robbie through tears . [I]2959-i feel . . . used . “ [I]2959-i thought [we]2673-we had something . ”[2959-i] “ So did [I.]2959-i ”[56-robbie] [His]56-robbie cold eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ But [you]56-robbie fucked that up this morning when [you]56-robbie left like a two - year - old . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie turns back to [his]56-robbie computer . “ Do [you]56-robbie sleep with [your]56-robbie masseuse ? ”[56-robbie] [His]56-robbie eyes come to [mine]2959-i . “ That is none of [your]56-robbie business . Now get out . ”[56-robbie] Chapter 9 [I]2959-i storm out of [[his]56-robbie office]426-his office and down [the hall]611-the hall , and [I]2959-i fall into [the ladies ’ room]840-the ladies ’ room . [I]2959-i burst into [the stall]611-the hall , sit down , and put [my]2959-i head into [my]2959-i hands . Embarrassment fills [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i just completely lost control and made [a fool of [myself]2959-i]841-a fool of myself . [[You]842-you stupid fucking idiot]843-you stupid fucking idiot . [My]2959-i heartbeat sounds through [my]2959-i body , and [I]2959-i ’m so angry right now that [I]2959-i ca n’t even see straight . [His]56-robbie words come back to [me]2959-i : But [you]842-you fucked that up this morning when [you]842-you left like a two - year - old . [God]0-aaron . Angry tears stream down [my]2959-i face , and [I]2959-i wipe them away as quickly as [they]844-they appear . Stop crying , [[you]842-you baby]845-you baby . [I]2959-i ’m not even upset — [I’m]2959-i angry . Now [I]2959-i have to get off this floor without [anyone]272-anyone seeing [me]2959-i . Why am [I]2959-i fucking crying ? [I]2959-i know why . Because [I]2959-i ’m sleep deprived , and [I]2959-i deserve to be treated better , that ’s why . [The fucking asshole]847-the fucking asshole . Who the hell does [he]847-the fucking asshole think [he]847-the fucking asshole is ? The longer [I]2959-i ’m in here , the worse it is . [I]2959-i wash [my]2959-i face , dry [my]2959-i eyes , and drop [my]2959-i shoulders as [I]2959-i steel [myself]2959-i to walk past reception . [I]2959-i ’m fine , fine . . . totally fine . [Jameson Miles]186-jameson does not have the power to affect [me]2959-i at all . [I]2959-i open [the bathroom]300-the bathroom door and walk out , and [Tristan]2430-tristan comes around the corner . [His]2430-tristan face falls when [he]2430-tristan sees [me]2959-i . “ [Emily]186-jameson ? ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan frowns . “ Are [you]186-jameson all right ? ”[2430-tristan] “ Yes , of course . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i storm past [him]2430-tristan . “ [He]2430-tristan ’s had a bad day , ”[2430-tristan] [he]2430-tristan calls after [me]2959-i , and [my]2959-i eyes fill with tears anew . Yeah , well . . . so have [I.]2959-i “ Where have [you]186-jameson been ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly asks on [my]2959-i arrival back to [my]2959-i desk . “ [I]2959-i went and saw [Ricardo]246-alan , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i lie . “ So where do [you]186-jameson want to go tonight ? ”[2959-i] “ Oh . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i wince . [I]2959-i ca n’t think of anything worse . “ [I]2959-i ’m sorry , [guys]681-guys . [I]2959-i ’m going to bail . [I]2959-i need to sleep . ”[2959-i] “ But [we]681-guys want to hear all the juicy details . ”[2959-i] “ Oh . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i heart sinks . [I]2959-i do n’t want [them]849-them to know that [I]2959-i ’m [the world]249-the world ’s biggest loser . “ [We]681-guys did n’t meet up last night . [He]0-aaron pulled out . ”[2959-i] “ What ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron frowns . “ Whatever . [I]2959-i do n’t care . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug , acting casual . [I]2959-i wish [I]2959-i had n’t told [them]849-them anything at all about [him]0-aaron now . “ Yeah , that ’s okay . [I]0-aaron need to save money anyway . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron sighs as [he]0-aaron packs up [his]0-aaron computer . “ [You]0-aaron coming ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly asks . “ [I]198-molly ’m just going to finish this up . ”[198-molly] [I]2959-i open [my]2959-i computer back up . The last thing [I]2959-i want to do is give [the bastard]75-the bastard a reason to fire [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i finish [my]2959-i task , and finally , an hour later , [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i computer and head [downstairs]2454-downstairs . [I]2959-i walk through the front doors and glance up to see the black limo parked at [the curb]549-the curb . Shit . [I]2959-i look around nervously . Is [he]0-aaron in there ? Damn it , [I]2959-i do n’t want to see [him]0-aaron . [I]2959-i power walk across [the street]550-the street to [the safe haven of the café]855-the safe haven of the café . [I]2959-i order a drink and take a seat at the window . Great . [I]2959-i drag [my]2959-i hand down [my]2959-i face . Seriously , what next ? This is the last thing [I]2959-i need . “ Here [you]717-the waiter go . ”[717-the waiter] [The waiter]717-the waiter smiles as [he]717-the waiter puts [my]2959-i iced tea down in front of [me]2959-i . “ Thank [you]717-the waiter . ”[717-the waiter] [I]2959-i watch [the driver]530-the driver across [the road]533-the road as [he]717-the waiter leans on [the limo]678-the limo , and [I]2959-i think back to the other night when [I]2959-i was on [my]2959-i knees , and [he]717-the waiter tried to open the door , and it was locked . [I]2959-i wonder how long [he]717-the waiter ’s worked for [him]717-the waiter , how much [he]717-the waiter ’s seen . [I]2959-i watch as [he]717-the waiter answers the phone and then gets in [the car]369-the car and drives off . Huh ? Was [Jameson]186-jameson already inside [the car]369-the car ? Why did [he]717-the waiter drive off ? That ’s weird . . . The front doors of [the building]361-the building open , and [a group of [men]330-men]862-a group of men walk out . Shit , it ’s [them]862-a group of men . [I]2959-i pick up the menu and cover [my]2959-i face as [I]2959-i peer through the window and across [the street]550-the street . [Tristan]2430-tristan , [Elliot]140-elliot , [Christopher]141-christopher , and [Jameson]186-jameson . . . and [the blonde girl who was with [Tristan]2430-tristan the other night]865-the blonde girl who was with tristan the other night . [She]865-the blonde girl who was with tristan the other night ’s super trendy , and [her]865-the blonde girl who was with tristan the other night work clothes look like [they]862-a group of men belong in a modeling shoot . [The boys]801-the boys look so similar . [Elliot]140-elliot is the most like [Jameson]186-jameson , with dark hair and piercing blue eyes . Then [Tristan]2430-tristan and [Christopher]141-christopher look alike , lighter hair with a curl . [They]801-the boys ’re talking as [they]801-the boys walk , and [Jameson]186-jameson says something with a straight face , and [they]801-the boys all laugh out loud . What did [he]140-elliot say ? [They]801-the boys walk around the corner . [Elliot]140-elliot puts [his]140-elliot hand affectionately on [Jameson]186-jameson ’s back as [they]801-the boys cross [the road]533-the road while deep in conversation . [I]2959-i watch [them]801-the boys walk up [the street]550-the street and then into a cocktail bar . [I]2959-i pinch the bridge of [my]2959-i nose and close [my]2959-i eyes with a huge sad sigh . [Ugh]61-ugh , [I]2959-i just want this day to be over . It ’s amazing what a weekend and some sleep can do for [a girl]387-a girl . [I]2959-i march into [the building on Monday]870-the building on monday like [the most powerful woman on [earth]872-earth]871-the most powerful woman on earth . “ Good morning . ”[2959-i] [The security guard]263-the security guard smiles as [I]2959-i walk through the security screen . “ Morning . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ Lovely day , is n’t it ? ”[2959-i] “ Sure is . ”[263-the security guard] [He]263-the security guard winks as [I]2959-i walk past [him]263-the security guard . To hell with [Jameson Miles]186-jameson . So what ? [We]874-we had sex . So what ? It was great . But guess what ? [I]2959-i do n’t care . [I]2959-i ’m not letting [him]263-the security guard dull [my]2959-i [New York]385-new york shine . [I]2959-i moved here to start a new and exciting life , and to be honest , the first three weeks have been pretty amazing . . . well , except last week . But [I]2959-i ’m scratching that from the record , so it does n’t actually count . [I]2959-i ’m moving onward and upward , and twelve months from now [I]2959-i ’ll probably look back at this and laugh . [I]2959-i make it to [my]2959-i floor to find [Ava]77-ava and [[her]77-ava friend]875-her friend [Renee]146-renee talking by [the elevator]375-the elevator . “ Hi , [girls]2675-girls . ”[146-renee] “ Hi . ”[77-ava] [Ava]77-ava smiles . “ How are [you]2675-girls ? ”[77-ava] “ Good . Great , actually . What are [you]2675-girls guys up to ? ”[146-renee] “ [We]2675-girls ’re discussing where [we]2675-girls want to go this weekend . ”[77-ava] “ Oh . ”[77-ava] “ Hey , [you]2675-girls should come clubbing with [us]2675-girls , ”[77-ava] [she]77-ava offers . “ Really ? ”[77-ava] “ Yeah , for sure . [We]2675-girls have a blast . ”[77-ava] “ [You]2675-girls know what ? [I]2959-i ’d love to . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ Awesome . ”[77-ava] [She]77-ava takes [her]77-ava phone out of [her]77-ava pocket and puts [my]2959-i number in . “ [We]2675-girls usually meet up about eight or nine on Saturday night . ”[77-ava] “ For dinner first ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ No . ”[77-ava] [She]77-ava smirks . “ [We]2675-girls eat mac and cheese before [we]2675-girls go out and then buy hella expensive drinks . [Priorities]147-priorities . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i laugh . “ Okay , sounds good . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i make [my]2959-i way to [my]2959-i desk and find [Aaron]0-aaron already working . “ Hi . ”[2959-i] “ Hi . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron says sadly . “ What ’s wrong ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i take [my]2959-i seat . “ [I]0-aaron got stood up again last night . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron sighs . “ [I]0-aaron ’m just getting sick of this , [you]0-aaron know ? ”[0-aaron] “ Have [you]0-aaron talked to [him]0-aaron ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ No , [he]0-aaron ’s always working or got things going on or a legitimate excuse . Maybe [I]0-aaron ’m looking for problems that are n’t there . ”[0-aaron] “ Maybe , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply . “ Anyway , [you]0-aaron ’ll be glad to know that [I]2959-i ’m in a much better mood today . ”[2959-i] “ Really ? ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron smirks . “ What ’s [your]0-aaron secret ? ”[0-aaron] “ Sleep , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply . “ And [I]2959-i ’m even going to start going to [the gym]2412-the gym on level three next week . Want to come with [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] “ Maybe . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron thinks about it . “ [We]2677-we could become [superhot fitness freaks]2678-superhot fitness freaks . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron chuckles . “ Yeah , okay . Are [you]0-aaron high ? ”[0-aaron] “ [I]2959-i had such a shitty day on Friday , and [I]2959-i ’m determined to change [my]2959-i mind - set . ”[2959-i] “ Good for [you]0-aaron . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly arrives and puts [her]198-molly bag onto the desk with a bang . “ [Anybody]457-anybody want [a kid]2680-a kid ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i giggle . “ What now ? ”[2959-i] “ [Ugh]61-ugh . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly flops into [her]198-molly chair . “ So [you]0-aaron know how [Brad]95-brad got caught messaging [that girl]198-molly . [I]198-molly took [his]95-brad phone from [him]95-brad because [[his]95-brad father]2681-his father would n’t do it , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly snaps . “ Yeah . ”[198-molly] “ Well , [he]95-brad was angry , but [he]95-brad was n’t that pissed off , [you]0-aaron know ? ”[198-molly] “ What do [you]0-aaron mean ? ”[198-molly] “ Well , [he]95-brad was n’t hassling [me]2959-i for [his]95-brad phone back all the time like normal , and [he]95-brad wanted to go to bed really early last night . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i listen . “ [I]0-aaron felt like something was off , so [I]0-aaron checked the hiding spot to see if [his]95-brad phone was still there , and it was . Then [I]0-aaron had this strange thought to check the SIM . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron chuckles , already knowing where this story is going . “ [The little shit]2682-the little shit had taken the SIM out and put it into an old phone . ”[0-aaron] “ Oh , crap . ”[0-aaron] “ [I]2959-i barge into [[his]95-brad bedroom]758-the bedroom , and sure enough , [he]95-brad is on [his]95-brad phone , and it is hidden under the covers . [I]2959-i snatch it off [him]95-brad and lock [myself]2959-i in [the bathroom]300-the bathroom while [I]2959-i go through it . [He]95-brad ’s banging the door down , so [I]2959-i know there is something on there that [he]95-brad does n’t want [me]2959-i to see . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes widen as [I]2959-i listen . “ Get this , ”[877-this fifteen - year - old little girl] [she]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl sneers . “ [Pure little Chanel]112-chanel has been sending [him]95-brad nudes too . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ [This fifteen - year - old little girl]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl is built like [a fucking Penthouse Pet]2685-a fucking penthouse pet . ”[878-we] [We]878-we chuckle . “ Oh , it gets worse , ”[877-this fifteen - year - old little girl] [she]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl continues . “ While [I]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl ’m looking through [his]95-brad phone , a new message comes through from [her]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl . ”[877-this fifteen - year - old little girl] “ What was it ? ”[877-this fifteen - year - old little girl] “ [I]2959-i got a Brazilian like [you]2959-i wanted . [You]2959-i like ? ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i mouth falls open . “ Can [you]2959-i believe that message ? ”[2959-i] Unable to help it , [I]2959-i burst out laughing . “ [I]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl would find this funny , too , if it were n’t [[my]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl child]2686-my child , ”[877-this fifteen - year - old little girl] [she]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl whispers as [she]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl sits down at [her]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl desk . “ Then [Brad]95-brad had a complete meltdown and told [me]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl that if [I]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl call [[Chanel]112-chanel ’s parents]2687-chanel ’s parents , [I]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl ’m effectively committing social suicide for [him]95-brad as [his]95-brad whole reputation will be ruined and that [he]95-brad ’s never going to [school]366-school again . ”[877-this fifteen - year - old little girl] [She]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl hits [her]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl computer keyboard with a hard bang . “ That ’s true , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron replies . “ [You]0-aaron ca n’t call [[her]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl mother]2689-her mother . ”[0-aaron] “ So it ’s all right for [her]2689-her mother to call [me]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl , but [I]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl ca n’t call [her]2689-her mother ? ”[877-this fifteen - year - old little girl] [she]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl stammers . “ [I]2959-i do n’t know , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [I]2959-i probably would n’t call [[her]2689-her mother mother]2689-her mother either . ”[2959-i] “ Well , what would [you]0-aaron do ? ”[877-this fifteen - year - old little girl] [she]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl asks . “ [I]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl ’d buy [him]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl a box of condoms , that ’s what [I]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl ’d do . ”[877-this fifteen - year - old little girl] [She]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl stares at [me]2959-i , wide eyed . “ Because imagine if [he]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl got [her]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl pregnant , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i add . “ Oh [my]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl God . ”[877-this fifteen - year - old little girl] [She]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl drags [her]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl hand down [her]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl face . “ [I]877-this fifteen - year - old little girl ca n’t deal with [boys]2690-boys . [They]2690-boys are so stupid . ”[877-this fifteen - year - old little girl] “ The amount of testosterone in [a male teenager]2691-a male teenager is ridiculous , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron replies casually . “ [I]198-molly was jerking off four times a day when [I]198-molly was fifteen . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly and [I]2959-i wince . “ Four times a day ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . “ Do n’t [girls]2675-girls do that ? ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i frowns in surprise . “ No , ”[330-men] [we]330-men both gasp . “ [Men]330-men are gross . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i fake a shiver in disgust . The phone on [my]2959-i desk rings . “ Hello , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i answer . “ Hello , [Emily]186-jameson , this is [Sammia]246-alan , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles ’s PA . ”[198-molly] What does [she]198-molly want ? “ Hi . ”[198-molly] “ [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles asked [me]198-molly to let [you]186-jameson know that [you]186-jameson have a meeting in [[his]2959-i office]426-his office in an hour . ”[198-molly] “ [I]198-molly ’m very busy today . Can [you]186-jameson tell [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles that , unfortunately , [I]198-molly wo n’t be able to make it ? ”[198-molly] “ [He]2959-i told [me]2959-i that [your]186-jameson attendance is mandatory , and [he]2959-i ’s already spoken to [[your]186-jameson manager]2694-your manager to get clearance . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . Stupid twat . “ Fine . [I]2959-i ’ll be there . Thank [you]2959-i . ”[2959-i] Knock , knock . [I]2959-i tentatively knock on [Jameson]186-jameson ’s door . “ Come in , ”[186-jameson] [his]186-jameson strong voice calls . [My]2959-i stomach flips with nerves , and [I]2959-i open the door . [Jameson]186-jameson sits alone at [his]186-jameson desk . [His]186-jameson eyes rise to meet [mine]2959-i . “ [You]2959-i wanted to see [me]186-jameson ? ”[186-jameson] “ Yes , please take a seat . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i drop to the chair as [I]2959-i clasp [my]2959-i hands together with white - knuckle force . [His]186-jameson eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ How are [you]2959-i ? ”[186-jameson] “ Good , thanks . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i drop [my]2959-i eyes to the desk . [I]2959-i ’m not looking at those beautiful blue eyes . [He]186-jameson ’s like the snake from [The Jungle Book]880-the jungle book — one look in those hypnotic suckers , and [your]881-your panties drop to the floor . “ Look at [me]186-jameson , please , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson commands . “ What do [you]2959-i want , [Jameson]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ [I]2959-i do n’t have time for [your]2959-i games . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i want [you]2959-i to look at [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i drag [my]2959-i eyes to [his]186-jameson . “ Why do n’t [you]2959-i want to look at [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [him]186-jameson for a moment . “ Because [I]186-jameson just find [your]2959-i face really . . . punchable . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smirks and leans back in [his]186-jameson chair , clearly amused . “ Is that so ? ”[186-jameson] “ Yeah , it is . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look around [[his]186-jameson office]426-his office . “ Can [we]2695-we talk about work ? ”[2959-i] “ Later . Right now [I]186-jameson would like to talk about [your]2959-i tantrum on Friday . ”[186-jameson] “ [I]186-jameson would n’t . ”[186-jameson] “ [She]2696-she ’s [my]2959-i masseuse . ”[2959-i] “ Like [you]2959-i said , it ’s none of [my]2959-i business . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i glare at [him]186-jameson , [my]2959-i resting bitch face in full swing . “ [I]2959-i was going to call [you]2959-i last night . ”[2959-i] Now it ’s [my]2959-i turn to be amused . “ Do n’t waste [your]2959-i time . [I]186-jameson would n’t have answered . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson runs [his]186-jameson thumbnail back and forth over [his]186-jameson bottom lip as [he]186-jameson watches [me]2959-i , as if fascinated . “ Why are [you]2959-i so snarky ? ”[186-jameson] “ [I]186-jameson ’m not snarky . [I]186-jameson ’m just not about to put up with shit from [an entitled asshole]2697-an entitled asshole . [You]2959-i may be [a CEO here]2698-a ceo here , but . . . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson sits back and raises [his]186-jameson chin as if angered . “ Finish what [you]2959-i wanted to say . ”[186-jameson] “ No . [I]2959-i ’m good . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i clench [my]2959-i teeth together to stop [myself]2959-i from elaborating . “ [I]186-jameson may be [the CEO]2388-the ceo here . . . but what ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson demands as [he]186-jameson swivels on [his]186-jameson chair . “ [I]186-jameson was n’t angry with [you]2959-i on Friday . [I]186-jameson left in the middle of the night because [I]186-jameson was confused . . . about a lot of things . [I]186-jameson was going to talk to [you]2959-i when [I]186-jameson was thinking clearly because [I]186-jameson did n’t want to be [a drama queen]2700-a drama queen . ”[186-jameson] [Our]883-our eyes are locked . “ And then [I]186-jameson came to [[your]2959-i office]2452-your office , and [you]2959-i treated [me]186-jameson like a two - bit whore that [you]2959-i ejaculated in the night before . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson clenches [his]186-jameson jaw . “ [I]186-jameson ’m [[nobody]2321-nobody ’s whore]2703-nobody ’s whore , [Jameson]186-jameson , least of all [yours]2959-i . No job is worth [my]186-jameson self - respect . ”[186-jameson] The air crackles between [us]883-our . “ So excuse [me]186-jameson if the privilege of sucking [[your]2959-i golden CEO]2704-your golden ceo dick does n’t excite [me]186-jameson any longer . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson rubs [his]186-jameson thumbnail back and forth over [his]186-jameson bottom lip as [his]186-jameson eyes hold [mine]884-mine . “ Were [you]2959-i on [the debating team]2705-the debating team , [Ms. Foster]126-ms. foster ? ”[186-jameson] “ What does that have to do with anything ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap , annoyed . “ [You]2959-i make a good argument . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson licks [his]186-jameson bottom lip as [he]186-jameson tries to hide [his]186-jameson amusement . “ Impressive . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . [Sarcastic asshole]885-sarcastic asshole . [God]0-aaron , [he]885-sarcastic asshole infuriates [me]2959-i so bad . [I]2959-i get an image of [myself]2959-i diving over the desk and punching [him]885-sarcastic asshole in the nose as hard as [I]2959-i can . It would wipe that smug smirk off [his]885-sarcastic asshole stupid face . [I]2959-i ’m not even joking ; [his]885-sarcastic asshole face really is punchable . “ Please , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i mutter under [my]2959-i breath . “ Please what ? ”[2959-i] “ Please stop insulting [my]2959-i intelligence . Run [your]2430-tristan meeting so [I]2959-i can get back to work . [You]2430-tristan ’re wasting [my]2959-i time . ”[2959-i] Knock , knock . “ Come in , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson calls . [Tristan]2430-tristan puts [his]2430-tristan head around the door and looks between [us]886-us . “ Are [we]886-us on ? ”[2430-tristan] [I]2959-i get the feeling that [Jameson]186-jameson told [them]886-us to give [us]886-us ten minutes alone before [they]886-us joined [us]886-us . “ Yes , come in , ”[2430-tristan] [he]2430-tristan replies coolly as [he]2430-tristan rearranges some papers on [his]2430-tristan desk . [They]886-us all pile into [the office]385-new york , and [I]2959-i straighten in [my]2959-i chair . [These four men]888-these four men together are an extreme sucker punch . [Gorgeous]148-gorgeous overload . “ Hello . ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan smiles . “ [Emily]186-jameson , this is [Elliot]140-elliot and [Christopher]141-christopher , [[our]886-us brothers]888-these four men . ”[2430-tristan] [I]2959-i stand and shake both of [their]888-these four men hands . “ Hello . ”[140-elliot] [Elliot]140-elliot and [Christopher]141-christopher smile . “ Hi . ”[140-elliot] “ Please be seated , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson commands . “ [Tristan]2430-tristan , [you]2430-tristan can do the honors , please . ”[186-jameson] “ Okay . So as per [our]886-us meeting on Friday , [we]886-us have recruited [a private corporate investigator]2706-a private corporate investigator to work on [your]2430-tristan floor and get to the bottom of [this mess]2707-this mess . ”[140-elliot] “ Okay . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look between [them]888-these four men . “ What [we]886-us want [you]2430-tristan to do is keep sending in bogus stories . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ Why ? ”[2959-i] “ Because if there are a lot of stories going through that are bogus , it will be easier for [us]886-us to trace . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sit back in [my]2959-i seat , annoyed . “ And as [you]2430-tristan can see — ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan continues . [Jameson]186-jameson holds [his]186-jameson hand up . “ Stop there . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson turns [his]186-jameson attention to [me]2959-i . “ What is it , [Emily]186-jameson ? ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i stare at [him]186-jameson . “ What did [you]2430-tristan want to say , then ? ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes flick between [the four men]889-the four men . “ With all due respect , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles , [I]2959-i did n’t apply for [my]2959-i dream job to do bogus stories . ”[2959-i] “ Fair point , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson snaps as [he]186-jameson rubs [his]186-jameson thumb over [his]186-jameson fingertips . “ What ’s going to happen when this is all over ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ [You]2430-tristan will return to [your]2430-tristan normal duties . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i would like that in writing , please , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . [Elliot]140-elliot smirks and drops [his]140-elliot head . [Jameson]186-jameson ’s eyes hold [mine]140-elliot . “ Very well . ”[140-elliot] [He]140-elliot turns [his]140-elliot attention back to [Tristan]2430-tristan . “ Please continue . ”[140-elliot] “ [The investigator]2708-the investigator will be starting next week on Monday , and [Emily]186-jameson , [we]2709-we would like [you]186-jameson to be [his]140-elliot eyes on the floor . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ [I]2959-i do n’t really want to get involved in all this . ”[2959-i] “ [You]186-jameson involved [yourself]186-jameson the moment [you]186-jameson stepped through [my]186-jameson office door , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson replies . [I]2959-i drop [my]2959-i head . [God]0-aaron . “ [Emily]186-jameson , if [you]186-jameson could give [us]2709-we a few bogus stories to start with next Monday , that would be great . ”[2959-i] “ Okay , what would [you]186-jameson like [me]186-jameson to write about ? ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson ’s eyes meet [mine]2959-i . “ The first story [I]2959-i would like to be about a fake prostitution racket . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown in question . “ Call [the ringleader a two - bit whore]2710-the ringleader a two - bit whore . ”[56-robbie] The fucking nerve of [this man]56-robbie . “ Okay . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile sweetly . “ [I]2959-i have enough material to work with on that one . ”[2959-i] “ Good . ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan smiles . “ Work on those stories , and [we]2709-we will touch base next Monday afternoon . ”[2430-tristan] “ Yes , okay , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply as [I]2959-i stand and walk toward the door . “ Sounds good . ”[2959-i] “ [Emily]186-jameson , [I]186-jameson ’d like to see [you]186-jameson for a moment , please , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson replies calmly . [I]2959-i stop on the spot . Seriously ? [The boys]801-the boys file out of [the office]385-new york . “ Bye , [Emily]186-jameson , ”[801-the boys] [they]801-the boys call . “ Bye . ”[801-the boys] The door closes behind [them]801-the boys , and [Jameson]186-jameson stands and walks up behind [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i can feel the heat from [his]186-jameson body . The power [he]186-jameson emanates is like nothing [I]2959-i ’ve ever felt . [He]186-jameson takes [my]2959-i ponytail in [his]186-jameson hand and wraps it around [his]186-jameson knuckles three times and pulls [my]2959-i head to the side to give [him]186-jameson access to [my]2959-i neck . In slow motion , [he]186-jameson licks from [my]2959-i collarbone to [my]2959-i jaw with [his]186-jameson thick , strong tongue . [His]186-jameson lips go to [my]2959-i ear . “ [I]186-jameson did n’t get to taste [you]186-jameson yet . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes as arousal runs through [my]2959-i blood like a river rapid . Goose bumps scatter up [my]2959-i spine . [I]2959-i turn to [him]186-jameson , and [he]186-jameson takes [my]2959-i hand and puts it over [his]186-jameson large erection in [his]186-jameson pants . Electricity zaps between [us]893-us , and [our]893-us eyes are locked . [My]2959-i breathing becomes ragged . “ Can [I]186-jameson see [you]186-jameson tonight ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson breathes . [I]2959-i squeeze [his]186-jameson dick as [my]2959-i sex clenches in appreciation . “ No , [Jameson]186-jameson , [you]186-jameson ca n’t . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i turn and walk out of [[his]186-jameson office]426-his office with [my]2959-i heart hammering in [my]2959-i chest . [I]2959-i get into [the elevator]375-the elevator as [my]2959-i body screams for [me]2959-i to go back . Every molecule in [my]2959-i body wants [that man]262-oh man . But [he]262-oh man ’s just [an asshole]662-an asshole . . . and [I]2959-i ’m just [another groupie]898-another groupie . It ’s not going to happen . It ’s Saturday night , and [we]899-we are lined up to get into [Sky Bar]399-sky bar . [I]2959-i ’m with [Ava]77-ava and [Renee]146-renee , and this is [[our]899-we third club]900-our third club . It ’s nearly midnight . [I]2959-i ’m having the best time ever . [We]899-we have laughed and danced and prick teased [every stupid man in [New York]385-new york]901-every stupid man in new york . “ Why are [we]899-we waiting here in line again ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ What was wrong with the last place ? ”[2959-i] “ Nothing . [This place]399-sky bar is better , but it does n’t heat up until eleven . ”[2959-i] “ Oh . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . [Gosh]149-gosh , [I]2959-i know nothing about [New York]385-new york nightlife . [The doorman]902-the doorman removes the red rope blocking the door and ushers [us]899-we in , and [my]2959-i breath catches . Wow , [this bar]399-sky bar is way up on the fiftieth floor and has [a huge balcony overlooking [the city lights]904-the city lights]903-a huge balcony overlooking the city lights . There ’s a dance floor and numerous cocktail bars , and [the girls]378-the men are right — [the men]378-the men here are another caliber . [I]2959-i glance down at [myself]2959-i nervously ; [I]2959-i hope [I]2959-i look all right . [My]2959-i long dark hair is down , and [I]2959-i ’m wearing a cream - colored fitted dress . It has long sleeves and a plunging neckline . [I]2959-i splurged and bought [myself]2959-i a new dress for tonight ; [I]2959-i wanted to look nice . It ’s paying off ; [I]2959-i ’ve never gotten so much male attention in [my]2959-i life . Amazing what a tight dress and a little cleavage can do for [a girl]387-a girl . [We]899-we order drinks and go and find a space to stand as [I]2959-i look around in awe . [I]2959-i ’ve never been in [such a cool nightclub]399-sky bar before . “ [This place]399-sky bar is insane . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile at [the girls]378-the men . “ Right ? ”[77-ava] [Ava]77-ava smiles . “ [The men]378-the men here are off the hook . ”[77-ava] “ And filthy rich , ”[146-renee] [Renee]146-renee adds . “ Who cares about rich ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk as [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i drink . “ [Me]378-the men , ”[378-the men] [they]378-the men both reply in unison . “ If [you]378-the men ’re going to be with [a guy]294-a guy , [he]294-a guy may as well be wealthy , if [you]378-the men ask [me]77-ava . Fuck being with [a poor bastard]294-a guy . [I]77-ava ’m poor , and opposites most definitely attract , ”[77-ava] says [Ava]77-ava . [I]2959-i laugh as [I]2959-i listen to [them]378-the men . “ So who do [we]2712-we have [here]385-new york tonight ? ”[77-ava] [Ava]77-ava says as [she]77-ava looks around [the club]909-the club . “ What do [you]378-the men mean ? ”[77-ava] [I]2959-i ask as [I]2959-i watch [her]77-ava eyes scan [the room]399-sky bar . “ [This place]399-sky bar is a huge celebrity hangout . ”[2959-i] “ Really ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i look around . “ [I]2959-i would n’t even know [any celebrities]2714-any celebrities . ”[2959-i] Over the next hour , [we]911-we dance and laugh , and [Ava]77-ava explains to [me]2959-i in great detail about who is who . Apparently , [the men]378-the men are all very impressive . [None]913-none take [my]2959-i fancy , though . [A gorgeous man]729-a gorgeous man comes up through [the crowd]265-the crowd and puts [his]729-a gorgeous man hands on [my]2959-i thighs . “ Do [you]729-a gorgeous man want to dance ? ”[729-a gorgeous man] [he]729-a gorgeous man asks . [He]729-a gorgeous man ’s blond and big and totally in [my]2959-i space , but the way [he]729-a gorgeous man looks , [I]2959-i think [I]2959-i can deal with it . “ Yes , [she]77-ava does , ”[77-ava] [Ava]77-ava stammers as [she]77-ava stares at [the god in front of [us]917-us]916-the god in front of us . [He]729-a gorgeous man grabs [my]2959-i hand and drags [me]2959-i to the dance floor , and [I]2959-i give [[my]2959-i friends]546-my friends a scared wave with [my]2959-i fingertips as [my]2959-i eyes widen . [Ava]77-ava blows [me]2959-i a kiss and jiggles on the spot in excitement . “ What ’s [your]77-ava name ? ”[729-a gorgeous man] [he]729-a gorgeous man asks as [he]729-a gorgeous man wraps [his]729-a gorgeous man arms around [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i hands on [his]729-a gorgeous man shoulders as [I]2959-i stare up at [him]729-a gorgeous man . “ [Emily]186-jameson . What ’s [yours]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] “ [Rocco]150-rocco . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile up at [him]729-a gorgeous man . What a weird name . [Gosh]149-gosh , [I]2959-i feel tipsy . [I]2959-i need to stop drinking . “ This is [your]149-gosh first time here ? ”[729-a gorgeous man] [he]729-a gorgeous man says , as if [he]729-a gorgeous man already knows the answer . “ How do [you]149-gosh know that ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk . “ [I]2959-i would have noticed [you]149-gosh if [you]149-gosh were here before . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile bashfully . [His]729-a gorgeous man hands roam down to [my]2959-i behind , and [I]2959-i lift them back to [my]2959-i waist . “ [You]149-gosh ’re very forward , [Rocco]150-rocco . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i know what [I]2959-i want when [I]2959-i see it . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as [he]729-a gorgeous man leans in and puts [his]729-a gorgeous man lips to [my]2959-i ear . “ [I]729-a gorgeous man want [you]149-gosh , ”[729-a gorgeous man] [he]729-a gorgeous man breathes . Chapter 10 [Jameson]186-jameson “ Hmm , not bad , ”[141-christopher] [Christopher]141-christopher murmurs as [an attractive redhead]919-an attractive redhead walks past [us]920-us . [We]920-us both watch [her]919-an attractive redhead as [she]919-an attractive redhead saunters over to [the bar]459-the bar . [She]919-an attractive redhead ’s wearing a tight black dress , and [she]919-an attractive redhead has a perfectly rounded ass . [I]2959-i scrunch [my]2959-i nose up in distaste . “ Average . ”[2959-i] “ [She]919-an attractive redhead is not average . ”[729-a gorgeous man] [His]729-a gorgeous man eyes drop to [her]919-an attractive redhead behind and stay firmly fixed . “ Far from it , actually . ”[729-a gorgeous man] “ Not doing it for [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sigh against [my]2959-i glass as [I]2959-i look around [the crowded club]922-the crowded club . It ’s a rarity that [a woman]339-a woman catches [my]2959-i attention these days , with the exception of [Little Miss Snarky]151-little miss snarky . [I]2959-i ca n’t get enough of [her]151-little miss snarky . . . even if [she]151-little miss snarky is completely unmanageable . [Our]924-our exchange in [[my]2959-i office]455-my office on Monday runs through [my]2959-i mind , and [I]2959-i exhale heavily . [She]151-little miss snarky ’s so fucking difficult . It would help if [I]2959-i could keep [my]2959-i mouth shut when [I]2959-i see [her]151-little miss snarky . For some reason , [she]151-little miss snarky has [me]2959-i blurting out demands and grabbing [her]151-little miss snarky by the hair ; it ’s as if [my]2959-i body takes on a need of its own and completely leaves [my]2959-i brain out of the equation . Every time [Emily]186-jameson leaves [[my]2959-i office]455-my office in a huff , [I]2959-i kick [myself]2959-i for handling [her]151-little miss snarky the wrong way . [I]2959-i know [women]276-women ; [I]2959-i know how [they]276-women think , and [I]2959-i can usually get [them]276-women to do whatever [I]2959-i want . [Her]151-little miss snarky . . . not so much . [Christopher]141-christopher licks [his]141-christopher lips as [he]141-christopher watches [the redhead]927-the redhead . “ [I]141-christopher ’m going in . ”[141-christopher] [He]141-christopher strides across [the club]459-the bar and says something to [her]151-little miss snarky as [she]151-little miss snarky stands at [the bar]459-the bar , and in slow motion , [she]151-little miss snarky smiles up at [him]141-christopher . [I]2959-i smirk and sip [my]2959-i drink as [I]2959-i watch [him]141-christopher in action . [He]141-christopher loves [women]379-the women — [all women]930-all women . It seems to be a family trait ; [we]931-we ’re all wired the same way . Something ’s changed for [me]2959-i lately , though . [My]2959-i appetite for variety has waned . Something ’s off , and [I]2959-i ca n’t quite put [my]2959-i finger on it . [I]2959-i glance over to [Tristan]2430-tristan and [Elliot]140-elliot as [they]932-they talk to [two girls in [the lounge]514-the room]933-two girls in the lounge . [The women]379-the women are being all animated and laughing on cue at everything that comes out of [the boys]801-the boys ’ mouths . [Bimbos]152-bimbos . [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i drink as [I]2959-i look around [the room]514-the room . “ Hey , ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan says as [he]2430-tristan comes to stand beside [me]2959-i . “ Look who ’s here . ”[2430-tristan] “ Who ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i mutter , uninterested . “ Cream - colored dress , hair down , and looking absolutely fucking sensational . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i look over to where [he]2430-tristan is gesturing . It ’s [her]936-her . [Emily]186-jameson is [here]385-new york . A broad smile crosses [my]2959-i face . “ Well , well . The night just got interesting . ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan chuckles . “ That ’s if [you]2715-you do n’t kill each other first . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan slaps [me]2959-i on the back . “ [I]2430-tristan ’m going to [the bar]459-the bar . ”[2430-tristan] “ Yeah , okay . ”[936-her] [She]936-her ’s with [two women [I]2959-i ’ve never seen before , although [they]938-two women i ’ve never seen before , although they do look vaguely familiar do look vaguely familiar]938-two women i ’ve never seen before , although they do look vaguely familiar ; [they]938-two women i ’ve never seen before , although they do look vaguely familiar might be from work . [They]938-two women i ’ve never seen before , although they do look vaguely familiar ’re talking and laughing . [Emily]186-jameson is wearing a tight cream - colored dress with long sleeves and a plunging neckline . [I]2959-i can see every curve on [her]186-jameson delicious body , and [my]2959-i cock swells in appreciation . [Her]186-jameson hair is down , and [she]186-jameson pulls it over to one side as [she]186-jameson talks , and [I]2959-i see the curve of [her]186-jameson bare neck ; [my]2959-i stomach clenches in excitement . Fuck . . . [she]186-jameson ’s hot . [I]2959-i ’ve never had such an intense physical reaction to [a woman]339-a woman like this before . [I]2959-i just ca n’t get enough of [her]339-a woman body . The more [I]2959-i have [her]339-a woman , the more [I]2959-i want [her]339-a woman . If only [she]339-a woman did n’t have the snarkiest damn attitude [I]2959-i ’ve ever seen . Maybe that ’s the appeal ? [Most women]940-most women fall at [my]2959-i feet ; [she]339-a woman seems determined to push [me]2959-i away . Hmm . That ’s something to think about . If the truth be known , [I]2959-i should stay away from [her]339-a woman . [She]339-a woman works for [me]2959-i , [she]339-a woman ’s a firecracker , and who knows what [she]339-a woman will do if [we]941-we fight again . [I]2959-i smirk . [I]2959-i already know that [we]941-we will fight again — the writing is on the wall . [She]339-a woman has a way of pissing [me]2959-i off like no other . A song comes on that [she]339-a woman obviously likes , and [she]339-a woman starts to dance on the spot . [Her]339-a woman ass slowly moves to the tantric beat , and [I]2959-i stand and stare , transfixed by [the goddess in front of [me]2959-i]942-the goddess in front of me . [She]339-a woman has no idea how fucking sexy [she]339-a woman is . “ [New York]385-new york sour , ”[339-a woman] [Tristan]2430-tristan says as [he]2430-tristan hands [me]2959-i [my]2959-i drink . “ Thanks . ”[2430-tristan] [I]2959-i take it from [him]2430-tristan . “ [You]2430-tristan know , the way [you]2430-tristan ’re looking at [her]339-a woman is illegal in [some countries]2717-some countries , right ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i watch [her]339-a woman hips roll , and [I]2959-i imagine them over [me]2959-i doing the same thing . [I]2959-i inhale sharply as [my]2959-i arousal starts to thump between [my]2959-i legs . “ Have [you]2430-tristan ever been so physically attracted to someone that [you]2430-tristan lose the ability to think around [them]2717-some countries ? ”[2959-i] “ No . Thank fuck , ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan replies as [he]2430-tristan watches [her]339-a woman dance . “ Although with that ass , [I]2430-tristan can imagine — ”[2430-tristan] “ Do n’t even fucking look at [her]339-a woman ass , or [I]2959-i will sit [you]2430-tristan on [yours]2430-tristan , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say , cutting [him]2430-tristan off . [He]2430-tristan chuckles . “ Look at [you]2430-tristan getting all territorial . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan sips [his]2430-tristan drink as mischief fills [his]2430-tristan face . “ [She]339-a woman did want to report to [me]2430-tristan with that story , [you]2430-tristan know . ”[2430-tristan] [I]2959-i look at [him]2430-tristan flatly . “ And [you]2430-tristan report to [me]2430-tristan , [fucker]2718-fucker . Go near [her]943-a blond man , and [you]2430-tristan will fucking die . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan throws [his]2430-tristan head back and laughs out loud . [A blond man]943-a blond man walks over to [her]943-a blond man and says something , and [she]943-a blond man smiles up at [him]943-a blond man . “ Oh , look out , ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan teases . “ Competition is on the horizon . ”[2430-tristan] [I]2959-i watch as uneasiness begins to swirl . [His]943-a blond man hands go to [her]943-a blond man thighs , and [I]2959-i clench [my]2959-i jaw . [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i drink as [I]2959-i watch . [He]943-a blond man says something , and [she]943-a blond man laughs out loud before [he]943-a blond man takes [her]943-a blond man hand and leads [her]943-a blond man to [the dance floor]944-the dance floor . Are [you]945-you fucking kidding [me]2959-i ? [Tristan]2430-tristan turns and laughs when [he]943-a blond man sees [my]2959-i face . “ Well , this is about to get interesting . ”[2430-tristan] [The blond]946-the blond slides [his]946-the blond hands down to [her]943-a blond man behind , and [she]943-a blond man lifts [his]946-the blond hands back to [her]943-a blond man waist . [I]2959-i watch as the sky turns red . Get [your]947-your fucking hands off [her]943-a blond man . [He]943-a blond man says something , and [she]943-a blond man laughs out loud . [I]2959-i swallow the lump in [my]2959-i throat . So this is what [she]943-a blond man ’s [here]385-new york for , is it ? To pick up [a man]2300-a man . Fury begins to fill [me]2959-i . “ Looks like [your]947-your territory is about to be stolen . ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan smirks . “ Shut the fuck up , [Tris]2430-tristan , before [I]2959-i knock [you]2430-tristan out , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap as [my]2959-i eyes stay glued to [them]950-them . [The blond]2455-my boss leans down and kisses [her]2455-my boss neck . Something inside [me]2959-i snaps , and before [I]2959-i know what [I]2959-i ’m doing , [I]2959-i ’m on the dance floor beside [them]950-them . “ Fuck off , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i growl . [Emily]186-jameson turns to [me]2959-i , and [her]186-jameson face instantly drops . “ [Jameson]186-jameson , ”[186-jameson] [she]186-jameson stammers . [My]2959-i arm goes around [her]186-jameson waist , and [I]2959-i pull [her]186-jameson from [his]2455-my boss grip . “ [She]186-jameson ’s here with [me]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [Emily]186-jameson Oh [[my]2959-i God]2363-my god , what the hell is [Jameson]186-jameson doing here ? [I]2959-i step back from [the blond god]953-the blond god , and [he]2455-my boss grabs [me]2959-i and pulls [me]2959-i back toward [him]2455-my boss . “ Do n’t , ”[2455-my boss] [he]2455-my boss snaps . “ Do n’t [you]2455-my boss , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson growls . [He]2455-my boss pulls [me]2959-i out of [the guy]2455-my boss ’s arms and holds [me]2959-i against [his]2455-my boss chest . “ [I]2455-my boss said [she]2455-my boss ’s with [me]2455-my boss , ”[2455-my boss] [he]2455-my boss repeats . [The guy]2455-my boss stares at [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i nod softly . [I]2959-i do n’t want any trouble , and [I]2959-i just want [this guy]2455-my boss to disappear . “ [I]2959-i ’m with [him]2455-my boss , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . With one last look between [Jameson]186-jameson and [me]2959-i , [he]2455-my boss turns and storms off toward [the bar]459-the bar . [I]2959-i turn [my]2959-i attention to [Jameson Miles]186-jameson , [the infuriating prick]955-the infuriating prick , and [I]2959-i pull out of [his]2455-my boss arms . “ What do [you]2959-i think [you]2959-i ’re doing ? ”[2959-i] “ What do [you]2959-i think [you]2959-i ’re fucking doing ? ”[2455-my boss] [he]2455-my boss growls . “ Do n’t [you]2959-i swear at [me]2455-my boss . ”[2455-my boss] “ [You]2959-i came here to pick up [a man]2300-a man ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i hands on [my]2959-i hips in outrage . “ [I]2959-i came here to dance . What are [you]2959-i doing here ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]2455-my boss ’m here with [[my]2455-my boss brothers]2616-my brothers . ”[2455-my boss] “ So go back to [[your]2959-i brothers]2616-my brothers and ruin [their]2616-my brothers fun , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i huff . [I]2959-i go to turn , and [he]2455-my boss grabs [my]2959-i arms and pulls [me]2959-i to the side of the dance floor and pushes [me]2959-i up against the wall . [His]2455-my boss body covers [mine]2959-i , and [I]2959-i can feel [his]2455-my boss hard erection up against [my]2959-i stomach . [We]956-we stare at each other , and instantly the air between [us]956-we changes . “ Do n’t , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper up at [him]2455-my boss . “ Do n’t what ? ”[2959-i] “ Hypnotize [me]2455-my boss with that magical dick . ”[2455-my boss] [He]2455-my boss gives [me]2959-i a cheeky wink . “ [You]2455-my boss ’ve got that the wrong way around , [baby]2455-my boss . [I]2455-my boss ’m [the only one who ’s hypnotized around here]2721-the only one who ’s hypnotized around here , ”[2455-my boss] [he]2455-my boss whispers as [he]2455-my boss leans down toward [me]2959-i . [His]2455-my boss tongue slowly slides through [my]2959-i lips . [He]2455-my boss kisses [me]2959-i again , with just the right amount of suction , and [my]2959-i knees begin to buckle beneath [me]2959-i . [Dear God]0-aaron . . . [the man]2455-my boss can kiss . “ [Jameson]186-jameson , ”[2455-my boss] [I]2959-i breathe against [him]2455-my boss . “ [We]2722-we should n’t . ”[2455-my boss] [His]2455-my boss hands roam up and down [my]2959-i body , and [God]0-aaron , [he]2455-my boss feels so good . “ Do n’t fight [me]2455-my boss on this , ”[2455-my boss] [he]2455-my boss murmurs as [he]2455-my boss grinds [me]2959-i up against the wall with [his]2455-my boss hips . “ [I]2455-my boss ca n’t . ”[2455-my boss] “ [You]2455-my boss can , and [you]2455-my boss will . Why would [you]2455-my boss deny [your]2455-my boss body what it so desperately needs from [me]2455-my boss ? ”[2455-my boss] Oh God , [he]2455-my boss ’s so right . [My]2959-i body does need [his]2455-my boss body . . . hard . So fucking hard . [Our]957-we kiss turns desperate , and [my]2959-i hands go to [his]2455-my boss hair . [I]2959-i know this is crazy , but [I]2959-i want [him]2455-my boss . . . all of [him]2455-my boss , and not just [his]2455-my boss body . For a long time , [we]957-we kiss like [we]957-we ’re [the only two people left on earth]958-the only two people left on earth . Hidden up against the wall , [his]2455-my boss body grinding on [mine]2959-i . Two bodies chasing [their]958-the only two people left on earth own pleasure in the darkness . “ [I]2455-my boss need [you]2455-my boss , ”[2455-my boss] [he]2455-my boss murmurs against [my]2959-i lips . [I]2959-i pant as [his]2455-my boss open mouth drops to [my]2959-i neck . [God]0-aaron . . . the way [he]2455-my boss touches [me]2959-i is just so . . . “ [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[0-aaron] “ Now . ”[2455-my boss] [He]2455-my boss pins [me]2959-i to the wall , and [I]2959-i feel [his]2455-my boss cock pulse . [Jesus]107-jesus , [he]2455-my boss ’s close . [He]2455-my boss does need [me]2959-i . “ [My]2455-my boss place , ”[2455-my boss] [he]2455-my boss pants against [my]2959-i lips . “ [My]2959-i place , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i fire back . “ No , [my]2455-my boss place , ”[2455-my boss] [he]2455-my boss demands . [I]2959-i pull back to look at [his]2455-my boss face . “ It ’s [my]2455-my boss place or nothing . Take it or leave it . ”[2455-my boss] [He]2455-my boss clenches [his]2455-my boss jaw ; it ’s obvious [he]2455-my boss hates losing a fight . . . any fight . “ Fine . ”[2455-my boss] [He]2455-my boss grabs [my]2959-i hand . “ This way . ”[2455-my boss] “ No . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pull [my]2959-i hand out of [his]2455-my boss grip . “ [I]2455-my boss do n’t want [anyone]272-anyone to see [us]2724-us . ”[2455-my boss] [He]2455-my boss frowns in question . “ [You]2455-my boss ’re [[my]2959-i boss]2455-my boss , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i remind [him]2455-my boss . “ [I]2455-my boss ’m here with [work friends]2725-work friends . ”[2455-my boss] [He]2455-my boss rolls [his]2455-my boss eyes . “ Fine . Go and say goodbye , and [I]2455-my boss ’ll wait for [you]2455-my boss [downstairs]2454-downstairs . [You]2455-my boss have two minutes before [I]2455-my boss come up and drag [you]2455-my boss out . ”[2455-my boss] [He]2455-my boss gives [me]2959-i a long , lingering kiss , and [I]2959-i turn , and [he]2455-my boss swats [me]2959-i on the behind . Adrenaline courses through [my]2959-i veins as [I]2959-i walk over to [[my]2959-i friends]546-my friends . [He]2455-my boss ’s here . [I]2959-i ’m going with [him]2455-my boss . It ’s on . Excitement fills [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i try to act casual . “ Hey , where ’s [the god]2547-the god ? ”[146-renee] [Renee]146-renee asks . “ Oh . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ [He]2455-my boss was a dick , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i lie . [Ava]77-ava rolls [her]77-ava eyes . “ Typical . Men who look that good ca n’t be blessed with brains too . ”[77-ava] [I]2959-i smirk . [I]2959-i know [someone who was blessed with both]960-someone who was blessed with both , but [I]2959-i ’ll just keep that under [my]2959-i hat . [I]2959-i look over and see [Jameson]186-jameson walking toward [the elevator]375-the elevator , and [he]186-jameson gives [me]2959-i the hurry - up look . [I]2959-i smile ; the pull to [him]186-jameson is strong . “ [Guys]681-guys , [I]2959-i ’m going to go . ”[2959-i] “ What ? ”[186-jameson] [Their]962-they faces fall . “ Why ? The night is young . ”[186-jameson] “ [I]2959-i know . [I]2959-i ’ve had such a great time , but [my]2959-i feet are killing [me]2959-i . These stupid new shoes are hell on earth . Next weekend [I]2959-i ’ll make it up to [you]2959-i . [I]2959-i promise . [I]2959-i ’ll just jump in [a cab]707-a cab [downstairs]2454-downstairs . ”[2959-i] “ Okay . ”[962-they] [They]962-they roll [their]962-they eyes and kiss [me]2959-i on the cheek . “ Text [me]77-ava when [you]2959-i get [home]2289-home , ”[77-ava] [Ava]77-ava says . “ [I]2959-i will . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile , grateful that [they]962-they are n’t bothered at all . “ Thanks for asking [me]2959-i to come . ”[2959-i] [Two guys]905-the girls walk up to [us]905-the girls , and [the girls]905-the girls both smile broadly . [I]2959-i take that as [my]2959-i out . “ See [you]2959-i , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i call as [I]2959-i walk toward [the elevator]375-the elevator . “ Bye , ”[962-they] [they]962-they call . [I]2959-i jump in [the elevator]375-the elevator . “ Where to ? ”[278-the attendant] [the attendant]278-the attendant asks . “ Ground floor . ”[278-the attendant] [He]278-the attendant pushes the button , and [we]905-the girls make [our]905-the girls descent . [My]2959-i heart is hammering in [my]2959-i chest . [Jameson Miles]186-jameson makes [me]2959-i nervous as all hell . [I]2959-i ca n’t remember when [a man]246-alan made [me]2959-i this excited to get [him]246-alan alone . Act cool . . . just act cool . [The elevator]375-the elevator doors open , and [I]2959-i walk out and look around . Where is [he]246-alan ? [I]2959-i continue through [the foyer]670-the foyer and peer out to [the busy street]968-the busy street ; [I]2959-i ca n’t see [him]246-alan . What the hell ? Did [he]246-alan leave without [me]2959-i ? “ Lose something ? ”[246-alan] a deep voice asks from behind [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i turn to see [Jameson]186-jameson leaning up against the wall , and [my]2959-i heart somersaults in [my]2959-i chest . [I]2959-i walk over , and [he]246-alan takes [me]2959-i in [his]246-alan arms . “ [I]246-alan did , actually . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i smile up at [him]246-alan . [We]969-we kiss softly , and it ’s different from how [we]969-we normally kiss ; it ’s tender and sweet , as if [he]246-alan ’s been waiting to get [me]2959-i alone too . “ Let ’s go [home]2289-home , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan whispers . [I]2959-i smile . That sounds so good . “ Okay . ”[246-alan] [We]969-we walk out the front , and [he]246-alan hails [a cab]707-a cab . Ten minutes later , [we]969-we pull up in front of [[my]2959-i apartment]766-my apartment . “ Thank [you]246-alan , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say as [I]2959-i climb out . [I]2959-i turn and hand [Jameson]186-jameson twenty dollars , and [he]246-alan shakes [his]246-alan head as if annoyed . “ [I]246-alan ’ve got it , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan says . [He]246-alan climbs out , and [we]969-we walk through [the foyer]382-this building , hand in hand , as [he]246-alan remains silent . “ Where are [the doormen]2733-the doormen ? ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan asks as [he]246-alan looks around . “ There are [no doormen]2734-no doormen . ”[246-alan] “ There ’s no security in [this building]382-this building ? ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan frowns in surprise . “ There ’s security . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i point to the intercom on the wall . “ [Nobody]2321-nobody can get up without being let in . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan frowns as [he]246-alan assesses it . “ [Any fucker]2735-any fucker could walk in here . ”[246-alan] “ [You]2735-any fucker are said fucker tonight . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk . [He]246-alan chuckles as [he]246-alan wraps [his]246-alan arms around [me]2959-i . “ That [I]246-alan am . ”[246-alan] [We]973-we ride to [my]2959-i floor and walk down [the corridor]609-the corridor ; [my]2959-i heart is beating so fast . This is different from the other times [we]973-we ’ve been together . Normally [we]973-we ’re so blinded with arousal that [we]973-we do n’t even remember walking through the front door . [I]2959-i open the door and lead [him]246-alan into [[my]2959-i apartment]758-the bedroom , and [I]2959-i hold [my]2959-i breath as [his]246-alan eyes scan the space . [[My]2959-i apartment]758-the bedroom is tiny — it would literally fit into [[his]246-alan bedroom]758-the bedroom . “ It ’s nice , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan says . [I]2959-i giggle . “ [You]246-alan ’re [a terrible liar]246-alan . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan chuckles and takes [me]2959-i into [his]246-alan arms . “ Anywhere with [you]246-alan is good . ”[246-alan] [Our]973-we eyes lock , and something changes between [us]973-we . The anger and animosity between [us]973-we has been replaced with tenderness . [The man [I]2959-i met in [Boston]385-new york]976-the man i met in boston is [here]385-new york . “ Are [you]246-alan hungry ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ [We]973-we could get some Uber Eats . Caramel cheesecake . ”[2959-i] “ What the fuck ? [You]246-alan do n’t actually get [Uber Eats]153-uber eats , do [you]246-alan ? ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan asks , horrified . “ All the time . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . “ Are [you]246-alan serious ? ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan stammers . “ [You]246-alan actually give [strangers]2736-strangers access to [your]246-alan food ? ”[246-alan] “ [They]2736-strangers ’re delivery [drivers]2737-drivers . Why would n’t [I]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] “ [They]2736-strangers see a meal for one . Put some [Rohypnol]154-rohypnol into [your]246-alan food , wait for half an hour until [they]2736-strangers know [you]246-alan ’ve eaten it and are unconscious , and then come back , break in , and take advantage of [your]246-alan body . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan dusts [his]246-alan hands in front of [him]246-alan . “ Boom , easiest crime in history . ”[246-alan] [My]2959-i face falls . “ What ? ”[0-aaron] [God]0-aaron , [I]2959-i ’ve never thought of that . “ True story , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan says as [he]246-alan walks around [[my]2959-i apartment]766-my apartment . “ If [I]246-alan were [a rapist]2738-a rapist , that ’s what [I]246-alan would do . ”[246-alan] “ [I]246-alan do n’t know whether to be impressed or terrified by [your]246-alan evil thought process . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan turns back to [me]2959-i , and [his]246-alan face softens . “ Impressed — let ’s go with impressed . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i giggle as [he]246-alan takes [me]2959-i into [his]246-alan arms . “ Okay , ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i murmur . “ Impressed it is . Why have [you]246-alan been so cranky with [me]2959-i this week ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask softly as [I]2959-i run [my]2959-i fingers through [his]246-alan dark hair . “ Because [you]246-alan ’re fighting with [me]246-alan , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan whispers . “ [I]246-alan do n’t like it . ”[246-alan] [His]246-alan lips take [mine]2959-i , and [his]246-alan tongue swipes softly through [my]2959-i lips . “ [I]246-alan ’m not fighting now . ”[246-alan] “ And look how fucking beautiful [you]246-alan are , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan says tenderly as [he]246-alan cups [my]2959-i face in [his]246-alan hands . [Our]978-our kiss deepens , and [I]2959-i want [him]246-alan naked . In [my]2959-i bed and naked . [I]2959-i slide [his]246-alan shirt off over [his]246-alan head and unzip [his]246-alan pants ; [his]246-alan lips stay locked on [mine]2959-i as if [he]246-alan ’s unable to drag them away . [His]246-alan chest is broad with a scattering of dark hair , and [his]246-alan stomach is rippled . . . but it ’s [his]246-alan dick that ’s a standout . [The man]246-alan ’s hung like a horse . [I]2959-i do n’t know if this thing even goes down . [I]2959-i most definitely have never seen it soft . “ [You]246-alan need to get on [my]2959-i bed on [your]246-alan back now , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [my]2959-i eyes drop down [his]246-alan delicious naked body . [He]246-alan smiles broadly . “ That ’s the best thing [you]246-alan ’ve ever said to [me]246-alan . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan drags [me]2959-i through [the apartment]2627-the apartment by [my]2959-i hand and into [[my]2959-i bedroom]980-my bedroom ; in one quick movement , [he]246-alan ’s unzipped [my]2959-i dress , and then [he]246-alan slowly slides it down . [He]246-alan holds [my]2959-i hand as [I]2959-i step out of it , and [his]246-alan eyes drop hungrily down [my]2959-i body . “ [You]246-alan are so fucking beautiful , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[246-alan] [My]2959-i heart swells at the way [he]246-alan is looking at [me]2959-i . [He]246-alan lays [me]2959-i down and spreads [my]2959-i legs and slowly strokes [himself]246-alan as [he]246-alan stares down . [I]2959-i writhe as [I]2959-i wait for [his]246-alan touch . [His]246-alan lips take [my]2959-i nipple into [his]246-alan mouth , and [my]2959-i back arches off the bed . [His]246-alan fingers slide through the lips of [my]2959-i sex . [He]246-alan hisses in approval as [he]246-alan feels how wet [I]2959-i am . [My]2959-i breath quivers on the inhale . [He]246-alan ’s just so . . . [Jameson Miles]186-jameson knows how to touch [a woman]339-a woman . Everything is magnified , to the point where even [his]246-alan blazing stare could make [me]2959-i orgasm . [His]246-alan lips make a delicious trail down [my]2959-i body , and [he]246-alan kisses [my]2959-i inner thighs with [his]246-alan open mouth . [My]2959-i hands go to the back of [his]246-alan head . [His]246-alan hands hold [my]2959-i legs wide open , and [his]246-alan thick , strong tongue swipes through [me]2959-i . [My]2959-i back arches in pleasure as [my]2959-i head tips back to the ceiling . “ Oh God . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan licks [me]2959-i , slowly at first , and then as if [he]246-alan ’s unable to control [himself]246-alan , [he]246-alan begins to really eat [me]2959-i . [His]246-alan stubble burns [my]2959-i sex as [my]2959-i body begins to ride [his]246-alan face . “ Oh . . . so good , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whimper . [He]246-alan lifts [my]2959-i legs to sit over [his]246-alan shoulders , and the change in position has [my]2959-i body trembling with need . “ Oh God , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whimper as [my]2959-i hands fist in [his]246-alan hair . “ Come . [I]246-alan want to taste [you]246-alan , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan moans into [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i convulse and shudder deep inside [my]2959-i body as [I]2959-i cling to [him]246-alan . [He]246-alan laps [me]2959-i up like [I]2959-i ’m [his]246-alan last supper . [He]246-alan pulls back and unwraps a condom and passes it to [me]2959-i ; [I]2959-i slide it on [him]246-alan with a soft kiss to [his]246-alan cock . With [his]246-alan eyes locked on [mine]2959-i , [he]246-alan lifts [my]2959-i legs around [his]246-alan waist and in one strong movement slides deep into [my]2959-i sex . [We]982-our stare at each other as the air is knocked from [our]982-our lungs . “ So fucking good , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan whispers as [our]982-our eyes search each other . [He]246-alan pulls out and then slowly slides back in . [My]2959-i mouth hangs slack at the feeling of [his]246-alan possession . [Nobody]2321-nobody fucks [me]2959-i like [Jameson Miles]186-jameson . . . [nobody]2321-nobody . [I]2959-i can try to deny this emotional attachment all [I]2959-i want , but the physical . . . [I]2959-i just ca n’t . [He]246-alan circles deep inside and then slams back in . [I]2959-i cry out as the air is knocked from [my]2959-i lungs . Then [he]246-alan ’s riding [me]2959-i — deep , punishing hits — and [my]2959-i bed is hitting the wall so hard it may knock it down . “ Fuck , fuck , fuck , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan moans into [my]2959-i neck . [He]246-alan lifts one of [my]2959-i legs , and [I]2959-i ca n’t hold it any longer . [My]2959-i body contracts around [his]246-alan , and [he]246-alan hisses as [he]246-alan comes with [me]2959-i . [We]983-we cling to each other as [we]983-we pant , and [I]2959-i smile up against [his]246-alan cheek as euphoria runs through [my]2959-i blood . [Jameson Miles]186-jameson is [my]2959-i new drug . And [I]2959-i am [[his]246-alan crack whore]984-his crack whore . [I]2959-i wake to the gentle breathing beside [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i roll over and smile . [Jameson]186-jameson is flat on [his]186-jameson back and asleep . [We]983-we had an incredible night . [The tender , witty guy]985-the tender , witty guy was back . . . with no sight of [the asshole CEO]986-the asshole ceo . [I]2959-i lean up onto [my]2959-i elbow as [I]2959-i watch [him]985-the tender , witty guy . [His]985-the tender , witty guy dark hair hangs over [his]985-the tender , witty guy forehead , [his]985-the tender , witty guy big red lips are slightly open , and [his]985-the tender , witty guy eyelashes flutter as [he]985-the tender , witty guy sleeps . [He]985-the tender , witty guy has one arm behind [his]985-the tender , witty guy head , and the other is splayed on [his]985-the tender , witty guy stomach . [He]985-the tender , witty guy ’s beautiful — everything about [him]985-the tender , witty guy physically is beautiful . Last night [I]2959-i got a little peek that maybe [he]985-the tender , witty guy ’s as beautiful on the inside as well . Stop it . [You]987-you ’re getting clingy and attached . [Jameson]186-jameson is not [the kind of man [you]989-you get attached to]988-the kind of man you get attached to . [He]186-jameson inhales deeply as [he]186-jameson wakes , and slowly [his]186-jameson eyes open and focus on [me]2959-i . “ Hey , beautiful , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers in a husky voice as [he]186-jameson cups [my]2959-i face in [his]186-jameson hand . [I]2959-i smile and lean over and kiss [him]186-jameson . “ Good morning , [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ Call [me]2959-i [Jay]108-jay . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown in question . “ [[My]2959-i friends]546-my friends call [me]2959-i [Jay]108-jay . ”[2959-i] “ So [we]546-my friends ’re friends ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson pulls [me]2959-i over [his]186-jameson body onto [his]186-jameson chest . “ No , [you]186-jameson ’re [my]2959-i fuck bunny . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i kiss [his]186-jameson chest beneath [me]2959-i . “ What ’s planned for today ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson asks . “ Nothing . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson frowns as if trying to focus [his]186-jameson eyes , and [he]186-jameson pinches the bridge of [his]186-jameson nose . “ [I]186-jameson ’ll get [[my]186-jameson driver]2740-my driver to pick [us]2741-we up , and [I]186-jameson ’ll make [us]2741-we some breakfast at [[my]186-jameson place]2742-my place . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i lean up onto [my]2959-i elbow and look down at [him]186-jameson . “ What ’s wrong with here ? [I]2959-i ’ve got breakfast things [you]2743-you can cook . ”[2959-i] “ Nothing . [I]2959-i just feel more comfortable at [[my]2959-i place]2742-my place . [We]2741-we will hang there today . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i ’m more comfortable here , [Jameson]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply , slightly annoyed . “ What ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson winces . “ How could [you]2743-you be ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sit up , affronted . “ What ’s that supposed to mean ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . [He]186-jameson rolls [his]186-jameson eyes . “ Here [we]2741-we go a - fucking - gain . ”[186-jameson] “ What ’s that supposed to mean ? ”[186-jameson] “ [You]2743-you asked that question twice , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson replies dryly . “ Do [you]2743-you have to argue about every fucking thing that [we]2741-we do ? ”[186-jameson] “ [I]186-jameson ’m not arguing . [I]186-jameson ’m just saying [I]186-jameson want to stay [here]385-new york today . [[Your]2743-you apartment]2745-your apartment may be fancy , but it does n’t impress [me]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson stares at [me]2959-i for a moment . “ And for the record , [I]186-jameson do n’t argue about everything . [I]186-jameson was annoyed that [your]2743-you masseuse is on personal terms to message [you]2743-you the way [she]2746-she did . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson rolls [his]186-jameson eyes and puts the back of [his]186-jameson forearm over [them]990-them . “ Here [we]2747-we go . ”[186-jameson] “ Will [you]2743-you stop saying that ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap as [I]2959-i get out of bed and put on [my]2959-i robe . “ [I]2959-i was just lying here thinking how gorgeous [you]2743-you are , and then [you]2743-you go and open [your]2743-you big mouth and ruin the whole thing . ”[2959-i] “ [I]186-jameson ’m thinking the same thing , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson snaps as [he]186-jameson gets out of bed . “ And stop going on about [Chloe]135-chloe — it ’s not a relationship . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stop still . What the hell does [he]186-jameson mean by that ? “ What do [you]135-chloe mean , it ’s not a relationship ? Do [you]135-chloe and [she]135-chloe have sex ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson bends and picks up [his]186-jameson jeans , ignoring [me]2959-i . “ Jameson . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i hands on [my]2959-i hips as [I]2959-i watch [him]186-jameson . [He]186-jameson pulls [his]186-jameson jeans on and zips them up . “ Sometimes . ”[186-jameson] “ [You]135-chloe have sex with [her]135-chloe ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i gasp . “ [I]2959-i have a standing appointment on Tuesdays and Thursdays . [She]135-chloe does n’t come for sex , but sometimes it just happens . [She]135-chloe ’s touching [me]2959-i , [I]2959-i ’m oiled up . . . it just happens . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i mouth falls open . “ Did [you]135-chloe have sex with [her]135-chloe this last week ? Since [you]135-chloe ’ve been with [me]186-jameson ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson rolls [his]186-jameson eyes . “ Stop rolling [your]135-chloe fucking eyes at [me]2959-i , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ No . [I]2959-i did n’t have sex with [her]135-chloe this week . ”[2959-i] “ Did [you]135-chloe have [your]135-chloe regular two massages ? ”[2959-i] “ Yes . ”[2959-i] “ So [you]135-chloe had [someone else]433-someone else ’s hands all over [your]135-chloe body ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i fume . “ Like [you]135-chloe did last night on the dance floor . Stop looking for a fucking fight , [Emily]186-jameson . [You]135-chloe are pissing [me]2959-i off . ”[2959-i] “ Well , [you]135-chloe ’re pissing [me]2959-i off . Get out . ”[2959-i] “ [I]186-jameson ’m already fucking leaving , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson barks . “ Go and have a massage today , [you]135-chloe big sleazebag . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson shakes [his]186-jameson head in disgust . “ [You]135-chloe know what ? [You]135-chloe ’re perfect for this fake news job . This drama thing is right up [[your]135-chloe alley]2749-your alley . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson throws [his]186-jameson shirt over [his]186-jameson head and then sits on the bed to put [his]186-jameson shoes on . Rage fills [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i pick up one of [his]186-jameson shoes and throw it to the other side of [the room]514-the room . “ So tough , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson huffs . [I]2959-i narrow [my]2959-i eyes as fury boils in [my]2959-i blood . “ Yeah , like [your]135-chloe [Chloe]135-chloe ’s vagina . How many clients does [she]135-chloe fuck each week ? ”[2959-i] “ [She]135-chloe is n’t [my]186-jameson Chloe . ”[186-jameson] “ [You]135-chloe know what ? Make [her]135-chloe [[your]135-chloe Chloe]135-chloe , because [I]2959-i have no intention of taking [her]135-chloe sloppy seconds . ”[2959-i] “ What ’s that supposed to mean ? ”[2959-i] “ It means that [you]135-chloe sleep with [me]186-jameson and only [me]186-jameson , or [you]135-chloe get out of [my]186-jameson life . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson puts [his]186-jameson hands on [his]186-jameson hips in outrage . “ [I]186-jameson ’m not looking for a relationship . ”[186-jameson] “ Good . There ’s [my]2959-i answer . Get out . ”[2959-i] “ [You]135-chloe know what ? This little [Dr. Jekyll]155-dr. jekyll and [Mr. Hyde]156-mr. hyde thing [you]135-chloe ’ve got going on here is a real turnoff . ”[186-jameson] “ And [your]135-chloe overshared dick is n’t ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shriek . “ [You]135-chloe ’re an insult to [my]2959-i intelligence , [Jameson]186-jameson . Go [home]2289-home to [[your]135-chloe fancy apartment]2751-your fancy apartment in [[your]135-chloe fancy car]2751-your fancy apartment and have sex with whoever [you]135-chloe want . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i wrap [my]2959-i robe around [me]2959-i in disgust . “ [I]2959-i ’m too good for [you]135-chloe anyway . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i glares at [me]2959-i . “ Why are [you]135-chloe such [a fucking bitch]2752-a fucking bitch ? ”[2959-i] “ Because [you]135-chloe ’re [a self - centered asshole]2752-a fucking bitch . Get the hell out ! ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i scream . [I]2959-i pick up a pillow and throw it at [him]2959-i . [He]2959-i brushes past [me]2959-i in a rush . “ [Nobody]2321-nobody treats [me]2959-i as bad as [you]135-chloe do , [Emily]186-jameson ! ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i yells as [he]2959-i storms toward the door . “ Because [you]135-chloe pay [them]2754-them ! ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i screech . “ Good thing [you]135-chloe ’ve got lots of money , [Jameson]186-jameson . [You]135-chloe ’re going to need it . [Nobody]2321-nobody would put up with [your]135-chloe shit for free . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i turns and glares at [me]2959-i . “ That ’s a low blow . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i fake a smile . “ Have a nice life , [asshole]2756-asshole . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i turn and walk into [[my]2959-i bathroom]992-my bathroom and lock the door . Screw [him]2959-i . Chapter 11 [I]2959-i turn the spoon upside down , put it into [my]2959-i mouth , and suck the [Nutella]157-nutella from it as [I]2959-i stare at the television . It ’s four in the afternoon , [I]2959-i ’m still in [my]2959-i pajamas , and [I]2959-i ’ve had a shitty day . After [I]2959-i woke up in a dream lying next to [the most gorgeous man on [the planet]994-the planet]993-the most gorgeous man on the planet , [Jameson]186-jameson Miles [the asshole CEO]986-the asshole ceo decided to make an appearance and ruined everything . To be honest , [I]2959-i ’m regretting not going to [[his]993-the most gorgeous man on the planet place]2489-his place for breakfast , but then , on the other hand , [I]2959-i ’m glad [I]2959-i did n’t because [I]2959-i would n’t have found out about [Chloe]135-chloe , [his]993-the most gorgeous man on the planet masseuse . [They]997-they fuck . [I]2959-i hate that it bothers [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i hate that [I]2959-i can feel [myself]2959-i getting attached to [him]993-the most gorgeous man on the planet when [he]993-the most gorgeous man on the planet clearly is n’t feeling the same . [I]2959-i dig into [my]2959-i jar of [Nutella]157-nutella again . The smooth chocolate melts on [my]2959-i tongue , offering a momentary distraction . [I]2959-i stare at the television in a daze , a horror movie . [My]2959-i favorite rom - com category is scratched from the viewing repertoire . [My]2959-i mind goes back to the first time [I]2959-i met [Jameson]186-jameson , when [he]186-jameson told [me]2959-i that [he]186-jameson did n’t believe rom - coms were true . Maybe [he]186-jameson was on to something ? Maybe [I]2959-i ’m just [a romantic fool]998-a romantic fool ? Does [he]186-jameson have feelings for [Chloe]135-chloe ? Who cares ? [He]186-jameson ’s [an asshole]186-jameson . [I]2959-i need to cut this out . Stop thinking about [him]186-jameson . [He]186-jameson ’s [a self - absorbed player who sleeps with whoever [he]186-jameson wants , whenever [he]186-jameson wants]186-jameson . [I]2959-i look around [[my]2959-i shitty apartment]999-my shitty apartment , and sadness fills [me]2959-i . If [he]186-jameson liked [me]2959-i , it would n’t matter where [we]1000-we were — [he]186-jameson would want to spend time with [me]2959-i regardless . But [he]186-jameson could n’t get out of here quick enough . [My]2959-i mind goes over [our]1000-we fight this morning . “ [Nobody]2321-nobody treats [me]2959-i as bad as [you]2758-you do , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ Because [you]2758-you pay [them]2759-them . Good thing [you]2758-you ’ve got lots of money , [Jameson]186-jameson . [You]2758-you ’re going to need it . [Nobody]2321-nobody would put up with [your]2758-you shit for free . ”[2959-i] “ That ’s a low blow . ”[2959-i] Did [I]2959-i go too far ? Was it a low blow ? Probably , but what does [he]186-jameson expect ? And [I]2959-i ca n’t believe that [nobody]2321-nobody treats [him]186-jameson as badly as [I]2959-i do . If [he]186-jameson treats [other women]1002-other women the way [he]186-jameson treats [me]2959-i , surely [they]1002-other women would n’t put up with it ? [Nobody]2321-nobody is that stupid . . . are [they]1002-other women ? “ [I]2959-i ’m not looking for a relationship . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i punch the pillow on [my]2959-i lap in disgust . Six words have never made [me]2959-i feel so cheap . Monday morning , [I]2959-i ride in [the elevator]375-the elevator to [the top floor]607-the top floor . [We]1006-we scheduled this meeting last week so that [I]2959-i could meet [the private investigator]1007-the private investigator , but it ’s the last thing [I]2959-i want to do now . [I]2959-i want to forget [Jameson Miles]186-jameson , forget [I]2959-i ever met [beautiful Jim]266-jim . . . or [Jay]108-jay , or whatever the heck [I]2959-i ’m supposed to call [him]266-jim . [I]2959-i ’ve come to the realization that [they]1002-other women ’re a package deal , and unfortunately , [I]2959-i ca n’t have [Jim]266-jim without [Jameson]186-jameson , even though it ’s only [Jim]266-jim [I]2959-i want . So [I]2959-i ’m doing what ’s best for [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i ’m cutting ties ; [I]2959-i ’m not falling into the pattern of sleeping with [Jameson]186-jameson without strings in the hope that [I]2959-i get a glimpse of [Jim]266-jim every now and then . It would be easy . . . too easy . But [I]2959-i already know [my]2959-i poor heart could n’t take it . [I]2959-i ’m not wired for casual sex . It ’s just not who [I]2959-i am . [I]2959-i ’m going to be professional and try to concentrate on [my]2959-i job . If [I]2959-i did n’t have to see [him]186-jameson , it would be so much easier , but it is what it is . [I]2959-i need to learn to deal with it . [He]186-jameson ’s not going anywhere , and [I]2959-i really want this job . Damn it , [Emily]186-jameson , why do [you]186-jameson always take the hard way ? Why do [you]186-jameson always fall for [the wrong guy]1008-the wrong guy ? [The last man]56-robbie had no motivation , and [this man]56-robbie has too much . [Both men]1010-both men did n’t care enough to go the extra mile for [me]2959-i . Maybe [my]2959-i expectations are too high from [[my]2959-i book boyfriends]1011-my book boyfriends in [my]2959-i romance novels — maybe [Jameson]186-jameson was right on that one . But damn it , [I]2959-i want the fucking fairy tale for once . [The elevator]375-the elevator door opens , and [I]2959-i walk out and through reception . “ Good morning , [Emily]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [Sammia]246-alan says . “ Morning . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ Just go through to [[his]186-jameson office]426-his office . ”[2959-i] “ Thanks . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i walk down [the corridor]609-the corridor and knock on [his]186-jameson door . “ Come in , ”[186-jameson] [his]186-jameson deep voice calls . [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes and brace [myself]2959-i . [I]2959-i drop [my]2959-i shoulders and open the door . [I]2959-i stop on the spot . Shit . [The room]514-the room is full of [men]378-the men . “ Come in , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson says , devoid of emotion . “ Take a seat . ”[186-jameson] “ Thanks . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i drop nervously into the seat near the end of the large rectangular table . [Jameson]186-jameson sits at the head , and [Tristan]2430-tristan , [Elliot]140-elliot , [Christopher]141-christopher , and [an older man]1016-an older man are on [Jameson]186-jameson ’s left . Then there are [another six men [I]2959-i have never seen before]1017-another six men i have never seen before . [Jameson]186-jameson ’s eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ This is [Emily Foster]186-jameson , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson introduces [me]2959-i . “ Hello , ”[378-the men] [the men]378-the men all say . [I]2959-i smile awkwardly as [I]2959-i look around the table . “ [Emily]186-jameson , this is [[my]186-jameson father]1016-an older man , [George]0-aaron . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson gestures to [the older man]1016-an older man . “ Hello , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper nervously . “ Hello , [dear]0-aaron . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smiles warmly ; [he]186-jameson ’s in [his]186-jameson sixties and looks like an older version of [Jameson]186-jameson and [Elliot]140-elliot . Gorgeous and distinguished with those piercing blue eyes . “ This is [Martin]158-martin and [Gerrard]159-gerrard , [Max]160-max and [Barry]161-barry , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson says as [he]186-jameson points around the table . “ And on the end are [Calvin]162-calvin and [Jake]108-jay . ”[186-jameson] “ Hello . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i force a smile . [I]2959-i ’ll never remember all these names . “ This is [the corporate investigation team]2762-the corporate investigation team , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson continues . “ [Jake]108-jay will be the eyes on the floor , and [the other five men]2763-the other five men will be assessing the data that ’s collected . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i watch [him]186-jameson as [he]186-jameson talks , devoid of emotion , and [my]2959-i heart cracks a little . [He]186-jameson ’s completely unrattled by [me]2959-i . . . by [us]1018-us . There is no [us]1018-us . “ Okay . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i look around at [the team]1019-the team . “ Nice to meet [you]108-jay all . ”[2959-i] “ [We]1018-us are going to hit the ground running this morning , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson continues . “ [Emily]186-jameson , [you]108-jay are going to show [Jake]108-jay around , and then [you]108-jay will be reporting directly to [Tristan]2430-tristan in regards to the stories [you]108-jay are putting forward . ”[186-jameson] [My]2959-i heart drops , and [I]2959-i nod . [My]2959-i eyes go to [Tristan]2430-tristan , and [he]186-jameson smiles warmly . [He]186-jameson knows why [I]2959-i ’ve been designated to [him]186-jameson . [I]2959-i feel like throwing [myself]2959-i on the floor and having a crying tantrum . “ Thank [you]186-jameson . That ’s great , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i lie . For the next fifteen minutes , [I]2959-i sit in [my]2959-i chair and stare at [the CEO]246-alan as [he]246-alan runs through the day ’s events with [a controlled detachment]1021-a controlled detachment . [He]246-alan ’s assertive , hard , and fiercely intelligent , and [the room]514-the room hangs on to [his]246-alan every word . And [he]246-alan fucks [his]246-alan masseuse on Tuesdays and Thursdays . [I]2959-i do n’t know how [I]2959-i got [myself]2959-i into this messed - up situation , but it has to end . Well . . . it ’s already ended , so [I]2959-i do n’t need to bother anyway . “ Thank [you]2764-you ; that wraps it up . [I]246-alan would like a report on [my]246-alan desk at four thirty every afternoon , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan tells [the men from [the investigation company]1024-the investigation company]1023-the men from the investigation company . “ Yes , [sir]246-alan , ”[1023-the men from the investigation company] [they]1023-the men from the investigation company reply as [everyone]2304-everyone stands . [I]2959-i wait at the back , unsure whether to leave or not . “ [Emily]186-jameson , just a minute , please , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson asks . [My]2959-i heart flips . “ Yes . ”[2959-i] “ Can [you]2764-you take [Jake]108-jay down to [your]2764-you floor under the guise that [he]108-jay ’s new and that [you]2764-you two are going through a training program together ? ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes search [his]246-alan . [He]246-alan stares at [me]2959-i blankly , cold as ice . “ Sure . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i turn to [Jake]108-jay and smile . “ Are [you]108-jay ready now ? ”[2959-i] “ Show [me]108-jay the way , ”[108-jay] [Jake]108-jay says playfully . “ After [you]108-jay . ”[108-jay] [I]2959-i turn and walk out of [the office]385-new york with [my]2959-i heart dripping into [my]2959-i high - heeled pumps . Well , that ’s the end of that . [He]246-alan ’s done . [I]2959-i wish [I]2959-i were . [I]2959-i ’ll get there — [I]2959-i always do . [I]2959-i sit in the café at the bench seat by the window and stare at the limo waiting outside [Miles Media]14-miles media from across [the street]550-the street . It ’s been a long week , and today was especially flat . It ’s Thursday , massage day . [I]2959-i get a vision of [Jameson]186-jameson oiled up on the table and [another woman roaming [her]1028-another woman roaming her hands over his body hands over [his]1028-another woman roaming her hands over his body body]1028-another woman roaming her hands over his body ; [my]2959-i stomach clenches as [I]2959-i picture it so clearly . [My]2959-i mind ’s playing evil games with [me]2959-i and showing [me]2959-i the worst reality - porn scenario in history . [Jim]266-jim . . . being touched by [another woman]1029-another woman . Is [she]1029-another woman dressed while [she]1029-another woman massages [him]266-jim ? Do [they]1030-they talk ? Do [they]1030-they laugh like [we]1030-they do ? [I]2959-i need to stop this ; it ’s so destructive . [I]2959-i want [a man who does n’t even exist]1031-a man who does n’t even exist . [The driver]739-his driver opens the front door of [the building]361-the building , and [I]2959-i watch in slow motion as [Jameson Miles]186-jameson walks out , navy suit , perfect posture , dark hair . . . emanating power . [Everyone]109-everyone stops what [they]1030-they are doing and watches [him]739-his driver get into the back of [the limo]678-the limo . [[His]739-his driver driver]739-his driver shuts the door , and it slowly pulls out and disappears down [the street]550-the street . [I]2959-i stare back at [my]2959-i ham - and - cheese toasted sandwich in front of [me]2959-i , [my]2959-i dinner . Deflation fills [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i just lost [my]2959-i appetite . It ’s three o’clock on Friday , and [I]2959-i stare at the bogus story in front of [me]2959-i . [Ha]163-ha . . . what a joke . [I]2959-i moved all the way to [New York]385-new york to make up fake news for a twat and [[his]739-his driver twat media company]1036-his twat media company . . . and [[his]739-his driver twat brothers]1037-his twat brothers . [I]2959-i hit the keys on [my]2959-i computer with force . [Twat]164-twat , twat . . . fucking twat . So much for [my]2959-i years of university study . [[My]2959-i parents]1038-my parents must be so proud . When [they]1038-my parents offered [me]2959-i the chance to do this , [I]2959-i thought it was going to be exciting and a chance to prove [my]2959-i worth . Maybe not ? “ Down the end , ”[2326-someone] [I]2959-i hear [someone]2326-someone say . [I]2959-i glance up to see [a man with a big brown paper bag]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag . “ Uber Eats for [Emily Foster]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look around , embarrassed . “ [I]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag did n’t order anything . ”[1040-a man with a big brown paper bag] [He]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag reads [the docket]1041-the docket . “ It says here that . . . ”[1040-a man with a big brown paper bag] [He]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag pauses as [he]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag reads and frowns as if confused . “ It says here that this Uber Eats delivery is quality controlled and safe for human consumption . ”[1040-a man with a big brown paper bag] [I]2959-i stare at [him]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag and take the bag from [his]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag hands . [He]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag squints as [he]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag continues to read the docket . “ This does n’t make sense . . . ”[1040-a man with a big brown paper bag] “ What does n’t ? ”[1040-a man with a big brown paper bag] “ Sugar to sweeten [you]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag up . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i open the bag to find a huge passion fruit cheesecake in its entirety , and [I]2959-i look up at the camera and smirk . Is [he]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag kidding ? “ Who sent this ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ It says here , [the sender]1041-the docket is a [Mr. Nice Guy]165-mr. nice guy . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [him]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag deadpan . “ [Mr. Nice Guy]165-mr. nice guy ? ”[2959-i] “ Yeah , weird , huh ? ”[2959-i] “ Thank [you]165-mr. nice guy . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i try [my]2959-i hardest not to smile . [I]2959-i know [he]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag ’s watching . [Molly]198-molly and [Aaron]0-aaron peer into the bag . “ Score , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron screeches . “ [I]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag ’ll get the plates . ”[1040-a man with a big brown paper bag] [He]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag takes off to [[our]1042-our staff kitchen]1043-our staff kitchen . “ Thank God for cheesecake , ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly sings in excitement . Okay . . . [he]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag ’s made the first move . What do [I]2959-i do ? [I]2959-i take out [my]2959-i phone and text [him]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag . [Dear Mr. Nice Guy]165-mr. nice guy Thank [you]165-mr. nice guy . Although , [I]2959-i should have [you]165-mr. nice guy know [I]2959-i ’m already sweet enough . [I]2959-i hit send and wait . A reply bounces back . [I]2959-i have no doubt . Can [I]2959-i take [you]165-mr. nice guy out to dinner tonight ? [I]2959-i sit back in [my]2959-i chair , surprised by [his]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag request . This is a no - win situation . [He]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag wants [a fuck buddy]1044-a fuck buddy to join [his]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag harem , and [I]2959-i want [him]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag all to [myself]2959-i . [I]2959-i write back . [I]2959-i think [we]1045-we both said all [we]1045-we needed to on Sunday morning . God . . . why ca n’t [he]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag just be normal ? A reply bounces back . [I]2959-i have a proposal for [you]165-mr. nice guy . [I]2959-i stare at the message but do n’t reply . A proposal ? What , does [he]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag want [me]2959-i to be [his]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag new masseuse ? [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i anger bubble at the mere thought of [her]1046-her . Ten minutes later , another text comes in . Hear [me]2959-i out , please . Please . [He]1040-a man with a big brown paper bag said please . [Ugh]61-ugh , okay . [I]2959-i reply . Fine . [I]2959-i wait . [I]2959-i ’ll pick [you]165-mr. nice guy up at seven . “ Here [you]165-mr. nice guy go , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron says as [he]0-aaron passes [me]2959-i a plate with the biggest slice of cheesecake [I]2959-i ’ve ever seen . [He]0-aaron passes [Molly]198-molly [hers]1047-hers and then takes a seat with [his]0-aaron . “ This is fucking delicious , ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly mumbles with [her]198-molly mouth full . [Aaron]0-aaron moans in appreciation . “ Oh [my]0-aaron fuck , foodgasm . ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i take a bite as [I]2959-i concentrate hard on not smiling too hard — just in case [he]0-aaron ’s watching . Well played , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles . . . well played . Sometimes [you]1048-you just know in [your]1048-you gut that [you]1048-you should n’t be doing something . The outcome is already written in the stars , and sometimes [you]1048-you should just be stronger and say no . But what if [you]1048-you ca n’t ? [I]2959-i ca n’t physically bring [myself]2959-i not to go tonight . The masochist in [me]2959-i wants to see [him]0-aaron . The same masochist wants [him]0-aaron to take [me]2959-i and throw [me]2959-i onto [his]0-aaron fancy bed and fuck [me]2959-i till [I]2959-i forget [my]2959-i own name . It ’s been a long and lonely week . But [I]2959-i have to stay strong tonight . If [I]2959-i cave in now , the last week has been for nothing . And [I]2959-i still stand by what [I]2959-i said on Sunday . [I]2959-i am too good for [him]0-aaron with the way [he]0-aaron is at the moment , and [I]2959-i wo n’t share , and money means nothing to [me]2959-i at all . [He]0-aaron needs to step up or step away . The security buzzer sounds , and [my]2959-i stomach dances in excitement . “ Hello . ”[2959-i] “ Uber Eats . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hear [his]0-aaron velvety voice . [I]2959-i smile broadly . “ What have [you]0-aaron got for [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] “ Italian sausage . ”[2959-i] “ Hmm , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i tease . “ Are [you]0-aaron going to drug [my]2959-i sausage and take advantage of [my]2959-i body after [I]2959-i fall unconscious ? ”[2959-i] “ [Undoubtedly]166-undoubtedly . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile and push the button to let [him]0-aaron up , and then [I]2959-i begin to pace as [I]2959-i wave [my]2959-i arms around in the air . Play it cool . . . play it cool . . . play it cool . Knock , knock . [I]2959-i open the door in a rush , and there [he]0-aaron stands , gray shirt and black jeans . . . blazing blue eyes . A slow , sexy smile crosses [his]0-aaron face . “ Hello . ”[0-aaron] “ Hi , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [I]2959-i stare at the beautiful specimen in front of [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i just want to throw [myself]2959-i at [him]0-aaron , the pull to [him]0-aaron unbearable . [He]0-aaron leans down and kisses [my]2959-i cheek as [he]0-aaron walks past [me]2959-i into [[my]2959-i apartment]766-my apartment . “ Are [you]0-aaron ready ? ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron asks . “ Uh - huh . ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i grab [my]2959-i purse and wrap . [His]0-aaron eyes drop down [my]2959-i body in [my]2959-i black dress . “ [You]0-aaron look lovely . ”[0-aaron] “ Thanks , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i breathe . “ Let ’s go . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron holds [his]0-aaron arm out , and [I]2959-i link [mine]2959-i with [his]0-aaron . [We]1050-we take [the elevator]375-the elevator in awkward silence . [He]0-aaron is pensive , and [I]2959-i ’m just nervous as all hell . Playing cool , calm , and collected is terrifying , and [I]2959-i remind [myself]2959-i not to drink too much tonight . [We]1050-we walk out the front of [the building]361-the building , and [the limo]678-the limo is parked at [the curb]549-the curb . [He]0-aaron opens the door , and [I]2959-i climb in . Memories of the first time [I]2959-i was in this back seat accost [me]2959-i , and the phrase dirty ho rolls around in [my]2959-i head . [I]2959-i slide in , and [he]0-aaron gets in beside [me]2959-i , and then [he]0-aaron picks up [my]2959-i hand and takes it in [his]0-aaron and rests them on [his]0-aaron lap . Okay . . . [he]0-aaron ’s touchy . What does that mean ? [I]2959-i do n’t know what to say or where this sits in [my]2959-i playing - hard - to - get act , but the warmth of [his]0-aaron touch is so comforting that [I]2959-i let [him]0-aaron . [The limo]678-the limo drives through [the city]2-the city , and [I]2959-i stare out the window as a million thoughts run through [my]2959-i head . Tonight is important ; [we]1056-we either have to come to some sort of understanding or cut [our]1056-we losses . [We]1056-we ca n’t keep fighting over nothing like [we]1056-we do . [The car]369-the car comes to a stop , and [the driver]530-the driver opens the door . [I]2959-i climb out , and [Jameson]186-jameson takes [my]2959-i hand and leads [me]2959-i into [a fancy restaurant]2612-the restaurant , [Lucino]167-lucino ’s . “ Booking for Miles , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson says as [he]186-jameson holds [my]2959-i hand tightly in [his]186-jameson . “ This way , [sir]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [The waiter]717-the waiter smiles as [he]186-jameson leads [us]1056-we through [the restaurant]2612-the restaurant to a cozy little table in the corner . [He]186-jameson pulls out [my]2959-i chair , and [I]2959-i take a seat . [Jameson]186-jameson sits opposite [me]2959-i ; [the restaurant]2612-the restaurant is dark , with candles flickering on the tables and fairy lights hanging from the ceiling . It ’s very romantic . Do n’t get excited . It ’s probably just a coincidence . “ Can [I]717-the waiter get [you]717-the waiter something to drink ? ”[717-the waiter] [the waiter]717-the waiter asks . “ Yes , [we]1056-we ’ll have a bottle of S Salon please . ”[717-the waiter] [He]717-the waiter closes the menu and hands it over . [I]2959-i stare at [him]717-the waiter . Here [we]1056-we go again . [The waiter]717-the waiter disappears , and [Jameson]186-jameson ’s big blue eyes come to [mine]2959-i . [He]717-the waiter takes [my]2959-i hand over the table again . “ Hello . ”[717-the waiter] [He]717-the waiter smiles softly , as if finally relaxing . [Drop]168-drop arguing about the drinks . It does n’t fucking matter who orders the drinks . “ Hi . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . [He]717-the waiter dusts [his]717-the waiter thumb over the back of [my]2959-i knuckles as [his]717-the waiter eyes search [mine]2959-i . “ How are [you]2959-i ? ”[717-the waiter] “ Good . ”[717-the waiter] Oh , [his]717-the waiter touch makes [me]2959-i weak . [I]2959-i just want to blurt out that [I]2959-i ’m lying and that [I]2959-i ’ve had a shit week and [he]186-jameson ’s [the king of [Twatsville]24-twatsville]186-jameson . [We]1061-we stare at each other across the table . It ’s as if [both of [us]1061-we]1062-both of us do n’t want to speak in case [we]1061-we break out into all - out war . “ What ’s this proposal , [Jameson]186-jameson ? ”[717-the waiter] [He]717-the waiter sits back , seemingly annoyed at [my]2959-i tone . [I]2959-i grip [his]717-the waiter hand . “ And [I]2959-i ’m not giving [you]2959-i attitude . [I]2959-i just want to know what [you]2959-i ’re thinking , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say softly . “ Stop being on the defensive with [me]717-the waiter . ”[717-the waiter] [He]717-the waiter relaxes a little , and [the waiter]717-the waiter returns with the bottle of champagne and opens it . [He]717-the waiter pours a little into the champagne flute , and [Jameson]186-jameson tastes it . “ That ’s fine . ”[717-the waiter] [The waiter]717-the waiter then fills [our]1061-we glasses and leaves [us]1061-we alone . “ [I]717-the waiter ’ve been thinking about what [you]2959-i said last weekend . ”[717-the waiter] “ And ? ”[717-the waiter] [He]717-the waiter sips [his]717-the waiter drink . “ [I]2959-i canceled [my]2959-i massages this week . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk as [my]2959-i eyes hold [his]717-the waiter ; [I]2959-i stay silent . “ The thing is with [me]717-the waiter . . . ”[717-the waiter] [His]717-the waiter voice trails off . [I]2959-i wait for [him]717-the waiter to speak , and when [he]717-the waiter does n’t , [I]2959-i squeeze [his]717-the waiter hand in [mine]2959-i for reassurance . “ [I]2959-i ’m married to [my]2959-i job , [Em]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ When [I]717-the waiter said [I]717-the waiter was n’t looking for a relationship , [I]717-the waiter did n’t mean . . . ”[717-the waiter] [He]717-the waiter shrugs as if lost for words . “ [You]2959-i did n’t mean what ? ”[717-the waiter] “ [I]717-the waiter did n’t mean that [I]717-the waiter do n’t want to see [you]2959-i . [I]717-the waiter meant that [I]717-the waiter am a workaholic , and [I]717-the waiter know [that very few women]2765-that very few women can deal with how much [I]717-the waiter work . ”[717-the waiter] “ [Jameson]186-jameson , [I]717-the waiter do n’t care about how hard [you]2959-i work . [I]717-the waiter just do n’t want to be one of many . ”[717-the waiter] [He]717-the waiter frowns . “ Meaning what ? ”[717-the waiter] “ [I]717-the waiter ’m not wired for one - night stands , [Jameson]186-jameson . It ’s not who [I]717-the waiter am . But [I]717-the waiter ’m not looking for a deep and meaningful relationship either . [You]2959-i ’ve misunderstood [me]717-the waiter . ”[717-the waiter] “ What do [you]2959-i want , then ? ”[717-the waiter] “ [I]717-the waiter want to have a friendship with [a man]2300-a man and know [I]717-the waiter ’m [the only person [he]2300-a man ’s sleeping with]717-the waiter . ”[717-the waiter] [He]717-the waiter listens . “ And [I]717-the waiter most definitely do n’t want to share [you]2959-i with [a fucking masseuse]2767-a fucking masseuse . ”[717-the waiter] [He]717-the waiter rolls [his]717-the waiter eyes . “ And [I]717-the waiter do n’t want [you]2959-i to roll [your]2959-i fucking eyes at [me]717-the waiter . ”[717-the waiter] [He]717-the waiter clenches [his]717-the waiter jaw , unimpressed . “ Watch [your]2959-i tone , ”[717-the waiter] [he]717-the waiter warns . “ See that ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say . “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ This defensive shit . It has to stop between [us]2768-we . [We]2768-we ca n’t keep fighting over every little thing like [we]2768-we do . ”[717-the waiter] “ [You]2959-i ’re just as bad , ”[717-the waiter] [he]717-the waiter fires back . “ [I]717-the waiter know , and [I]717-the waiter ’m trying to stop it . Just now [I]717-the waiter held [my]717-the waiter tongue because [you]2959-i ordered [my]717-the waiter drink without asking what [I]717-the waiter wanted . ”[717-the waiter] “ [I]717-the waiter ’m used to being in control , [Emily]186-jameson , ”[717-the waiter] [he]717-the waiter snaps . “ So am [I.]717-the waiter That wo n’t change . ”[717-the waiter] [His]717-the waiter eyes search [mine]2959-i , and [he]717-the waiter rearranges the napkin on [his]717-the waiter lap as if [he]717-the waiter ’s thinking . “ [I]2959-i ’m not asking [you]2959-i to be [[my]2959-i boyfriend]2490-my boyfriend , [Jameson]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ That ’s not what this is about . [We]2770-we have a great sexual connection , and [I]2959-i want it . [I]2959-i feel like [I]2959-i have to have it . . . but [I]2959-i ca n’t , not if [I]2959-i know [you]2959-i have it with [other women]1002-other women . [I]2959-i need to be [the only one]2772-the only one . ”[2959-i] “ Fine , [I]717-the waiter wo n’t sleep with [anyone else]527-anyone else , ”[717-the waiter] [he]717-the waiter snaps in exasperation . “ And ? ”[717-the waiter] [I]2959-i ask . [He]717-the waiter rolls [his]717-the waiter eyes . “ And [you]2959-i can order the fucking drinks . ”[717-the waiter] Chapter 12 [I]2959-i giggle . “ This is n’t about the stupid drinks , [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ What is it about , then , for [Christ]169-christ ’s sake ? Speak English . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i want [you]2959-i to drop being defensive with [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i ’m not . ”[2959-i] “ Yes , [you]2959-i are , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [I]2959-i hold [his]717-the waiter hand in [mine]2959-i . “ So are [you]2959-i . ”[2959-i] “ [I]717-the waiter know [I]717-the waiter am , because [I]717-the waiter feel like [you]2959-i will walk all over [me]717-the waiter if [I]717-the waiter ’m not . ”[717-the waiter] [His]717-the waiter brow furrows . “ [I]717-the waiter would never walk all over [you]2959-i . ”[717-the waiter] “ Not purposely . ”[717-the waiter] [He]717-the waiter clenches [his]717-the waiter jaw , and [I]2959-i know that ’s exactly how it is . “ [I]717-the waiter just want [the guy [I]717-the waiter met on [the plane]268-the plane]2774-that guy . [The one who let [himself]717-the waiter go]2776-the one who let himself go . ”[717-the waiter] [His]717-the waiter eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ [I]717-the waiter do n’t know how to be [that guy]2774-that guy all the time , [Em]186-jameson . It ’s a very small part of [my]717-the waiter personality . ”[717-the waiter] “ Then just save that small part for [me]2959-i , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i breathe . A soft smile crosses [his]717-the waiter face as [he]717-the waiter watches [me]2959-i , and [he]717-the waiter sips [his]717-the waiter drink . “ What was so good about [that guy on [the plane]268-the plane]2774-that guy , anyway ? ”[717-the waiter] “ [He]717-the waiter made [me]2959-i laugh . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i remember . “ And [he]717-the waiter gave [me]2959-i the best sex of [my]2959-i life . ”[2959-i] “ Of [your]2959-i entire life ? ”[717-the waiter] “ Uh - huh . ”[717-the waiter] [He]717-the waiter smiles , pleased with [himself]717-the waiter . “ So do [we]2778-we have a deal ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ Let [me]2959-i get this straight — [you]2959-i want to have [friends]394-friends with benefits but only with each other ? ”[2959-i] “ Yes . ”[717-the waiter] “ What happens when [I]717-the waiter ’m at work all the time or away and [you]2959-i ’re out and . . . ”[717-the waiter] [His]717-the waiter voice trails off . “ Then [I]717-the waiter ’ll call [you]2959-i and tell [you]2959-i [I]717-the waiter need [you]2959-i . ”[717-the waiter] [His]717-the waiter eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ And [you]2959-i ’ll talk [me]717-the waiter through it over the phone , or [I]717-the waiter ’ll wait till [you]2959-i come [home]2289-home . ”[717-the waiter] [He]717-the waiter rubs [his]717-the waiter thumbnail over [his]717-the waiter bottom lip as [he]717-the waiter listens , as if fascinated . “ [I]717-the waiter do n’t want to have sex with [anyone else]527-anyone else , [Jameson]186-jameson . [I]717-the waiter ’m [not that kind of girl]316-not that kind of girl . [You]2959-i are the only one - night stand [I]717-the waiter ’ve ever had . ”[717-the waiter] [He]717-the waiter squeezes [my]2959-i hand , pleased with that answer . “ [I]717-the waiter ’ve had sex with [four people in [my]717-the waiter whole life]2783-four people in my whole life , and [you]2959-i ’re [one of [them]2783-four people in my whole life]2784-one of them . ”[717-the waiter] [He]717-the waiter leans onto [his]717-the waiter hand and smiles dreamily at [me]2959-i . “ What ? ”[717-the waiter] “ Do [you]2959-i know how often [I]2959-i think about fucking [you]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i giggle , surprised by that statement . “ How often ? ”[2959-i] “ All the time . [I]717-the waiter ’m like [a starstruck eighteen - year - old]2785-a starstruck eighteen - year - old . ”[717-the waiter] “ [You]2959-i would n’t know it . ”[717-the waiter] “ Why ? ”[2959-i] “ [You]2959-i acted like [you]2959-i hated [me]717-the waiter all week . [You]2959-i can be so cold when [you]2959-i want to be . ”[717-the waiter] [He]717-the waiter sits up in [his]717-the waiter chair and straightens [his]717-the waiter back . “ [I]717-the waiter do n’t like to be challenged for the sake of it , [Emily]186-jameson . [You]2959-i fought with [me]717-the waiter last weekend just to prove a point . It angered [me]717-the waiter . ”[717-the waiter] “ No . [I]1064-he fought with [you]2959-i last weekend because [I]1064-he wanted to spend the day at [[my]1064-he apartment]2751-your fancy apartment , and [you]2959-i just assumed that [your]2959-i place was better than [mine]1064-he . [Your]2959-i money does n’t impress [me]1064-he , [Jameson]186-jameson . [I]1064-he do n’t care for [[your]2959-i fancy apartment]2751-your fancy apartment . [Mine]1064-he is just as good . ”[1064-he] [He]1064-he rolls [his]1064-he eyes . “ Are [we]2787-we going to fight now about why [we]2787-we fought ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . [He]1064-he ’s right ; this is ridiculous . “ No . No more fighting . ”[1064-he] [I]2959-i pick up [his]1064-he hand and cup it around [my]2959-i face . “ [We]2787-we ’re going to have dinner , and then [we]2787-we ’re going to go back to [[your]2959-i place]2751-your fancy apartment , and then [I]2959-i ’m going to ride [your]2959-i cock . . . just the way [you]2959-i like it , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [He]1064-he inhales sharply as [his]1064-he eyes flicker with excitement . “ [You]2959-i fucking turn [me]1064-he on . ”[1064-he] [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i thumb into [my]2959-i mouth and suck it in slow motion , [our]1065-our eyes locked . “ As [your]2959-i dedicated fuck bunny , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles , [I]2959-i take [my]2959-i job very seriously , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper darkly . “ [Your]2959-i wish is [my]1064-he command , [sir]2959-i . ”[1064-he] [He]1064-he gives [me]2959-i a slow , sexy smile . “ Now [you]2959-i ’re talking . ”[1064-he] Two hours later [Lathered]170-lathered with a sheen of perspiration , [I]2959-i rock forward onto [his]1064-he cock . [Jameson]186-jameson is sitting with [his]186-jameson back against [his]186-jameson headboard . One hand is on [my]2959-i hip , the other cupping [my]2959-i breast . [He]186-jameson ’s so big that [I]2959-i can feel every inch of [him]186-jameson deep inside [my]2959-i body . [He]186-jameson took [me]2959-i hard and fast the first time , [me]2959-i on [my]2959-i knees and [him]186-jameson behind [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i watched [us]1066-us in the mirror . Every muscle in [his]186-jameson torso contracted as [he]186-jameson pumped [me]2959-i , and [his]186-jameson dark eyes held [mine]2959-i . It was the hottest thing [I]2959-i ’ve ever seen . [His]186-jameson hand has a strong grip on [my]2959-i hip bone as [he]186-jameson rocks [me]2959-i back and forward with force . [Our]1066-us eyes are locked , and this is one of those moments where neither of [us]1066-us speaks — it ’s perfect without words . [He]186-jameson grabs a handful of [my]2959-i hair and drags [me]2959-i down to [him]186-jameson ; [his]186-jameson lips take [mine]2959-i , and [we]1066-us kiss . [His]186-jameson tongue is sliding into [my]2959-i mouth at just the right angle . “ Legs up , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers as [he]186-jameson lifts [my]2959-i knees to a squatting position . [My]2959-i face falters . “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ Be careful . ”[186-jameson] “ [I]186-jameson wo n’t hurt [you]186-jameson — [you]186-jameson know that . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson kisses [me]2959-i again with just the right amount of suction ; [my]2959-i body knows who ’s in control here . [Jameson Miles]186-jameson may have given [me]2959-i control of drink ordering , but it ’s glaringly obvious [he]186-jameson will never give [me]2959-i control in [the bedroom]758-the bedroom . Not that [I]2959-i want [him]186-jameson to ; what [he]186-jameson does is sheer perfection . [He]186-jameson begins to lift [me]2959-i , slowly and carefully at first , and [we]1068-we go at a controlled speed . [He]186-jameson looks up at [me]2959-i in awe . “ Oh , ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i moan . “ So . . . good , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whimper . [His]186-jameson eyes roll back in [his]186-jameson head as [he]186-jameson lifts [me]2959-i higher and slams [me]2959-i down harder . [My]2959-i hands are on [his]186-jameson broad shoulders , and [I]2959-i feel the muscles contract beneath [me]2959-i . [He]186-jameson begins to moan as [he]186-jameson slams [me]2959-i onto [his]186-jameson body , the look on [his]186-jameson face one of sheer ecstasy . [I]2959-i tip [my]2959-i head back as a freight train of an orgasm comes shuddering deep within [me]2959-i . “ Oh fuck , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson cries out as [he]186-jameson holds [himself]186-jameson deep inside [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i feel the telling jerk as [his]186-jameson body empties itself in [mine]2959-i . [His]186-jameson eyes search [mine]2959-i , and in slow motion , [he]186-jameson reaches up and cups [my]2959-i face and brings [my]2959-i lips down to [his]186-jameson . [We]1069-we kiss , and it ’s slow , tender , and intimate — nothing like the detached version [we]1069-we talked about . [He]186-jameson ’s right here with [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i know [he]186-jameson is . “ [You]186-jameson are so fucking beautiful , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson murmurs against [my]2959-i lips as [he]186-jameson pulls [me]2959-i close . [I]2959-i lie down on [his]186-jameson chest and smile against [his]186-jameson skin as [his]186-jameson arms wrap around [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i can feel [his]186-jameson heart beating hard against [mine]2959-i , and [I]2959-i feel so safe and cherished . [I]2959-i know this is supposed to be [friends]394-friends with benefits . But it ’s not . . . it ’s more . What kind of more [I]2959-i just do n’t know . [I]2959-i feel a hand on [my]2959-i behind , and it gives [me]2959-i a sturdy pat . “ Come on . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i screw up [my]2959-i face and roll toward [him]186-jameson . “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ Up [you]186-jameson get . ”[2959-i] “ Huh ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stretch and open [my]2959-i eyes . The drapes are pulled , and sunshine is beaming through the huge windows . [I]2959-i look around , half - asleep . “ What time is it ? ”[2959-i] “ It ’s eight . Get up . [We]2788-we ’re going for a run around [Central Park]17-central park . ”[2959-i] “ Who is ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . [He]186-jameson ’s in a towel and freshly showered . “ [Me]186-jameson and [you]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i scratch [my]2959-i head in confusion . “ [You]186-jameson had a shower to go for a run ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]186-jameson smelled like sex . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smirks as [he]186-jameson leans down and kisses [me]2959-i on the lips . [I]2959-i wrap [my]2959-i arms around [him]186-jameson and hold [him]186-jameson down . [He]186-jameson pulls from [my]2959-i grip . “ Come on . ”[186-jameson] “ [I]186-jameson have no stuff here . What shoes would [I]186-jameson wear ? ”[186-jameson] “ What size are [you]186-jameson ? ”[186-jameson] “ Eight . ”[186-jameson] “ Hmm . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson puts [his]186-jameson hands on [his]186-jameson hips and thinks . “ Well , [you]186-jameson can wear some of [mine]2959-i . ”[186-jameson] “ [I]186-jameson ’ll fall over and break [my]186-jameson neck , [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] “ Hmm , okay . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson disappears into [the walk - in closet]1071-the walk - in closet and comes out in black Nike shorts and a blue Nike T - shirt . [I]2959-i smirk when [I]2959-i see [him]186-jameson . “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ Are [you]186-jameson sponsored by [Nike]171-nike today or something ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson looks down at [himself]186-jameson and smiles . “ No , it just happens to be comfortable . ”[186-jameson] “ Like this bed . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile sleepily as [I]2959-i snuggle back under the covers . [He]186-jameson sits down to put [his]186-jameson shoes on , and [I]2959-i watch [him]186-jameson for a moment . “ So how does this work ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ How does what work ? ”[2959-i] “ Well . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pause as [I]2959-i try to articulate what [I]2959-i want to say without sounding needy . “ [I]2959-i ’ve never done this casual thing before . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug shyly . “ How do [we]2789-we navigate this ? When do [we]2789-we see each other ? ”[2959-i] “ Well . . . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson bends to tie [his]186-jameson shoe . “ [We]2789-we just play it by ear , [I]2959-i guess . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . But what if [he]186-jameson did n’t call ? [I]2959-i ’d be waiting all week . Oh , [I]2959-i do n’t like the sound of that . “ [I]186-jameson think [I]186-jameson would prefer set days . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson frowns . “ How many days ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . Shit , did that sound clingy ? [I]2959-i ’ll play it down . “ One day a week . ”[2959-i] “ [I]186-jameson want to see [you]186-jameson more than once a week , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson scoffs . “ [You]186-jameson do ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smiles , knowing exactly what [I]2959-i ’m doing . [He]186-jameson stands and then leans down and kisses [me]2959-i . “ Yes , three times a week . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i try to hide [my]2959-i smile . “ What days ? ”[2959-i] “ Do [we]2790-we have to have set days ? ”[186-jameson] “ [I]2959-i kind of do . ”[2959-i] “ Why ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug as [I]2959-i twist the blanket between [my]2959-i fingers , embarrassed by [my]2959-i neediness . [He]186-jameson puts [his]186-jameson finger under [my]2959-i chin and brings [my]2959-i face to [his]186-jameson . “ Why , [Emily]186-jameson ? ”[186-jameson] “ Because [I]186-jameson hate waiting around , and then [we]2790-we know not to plan anything else on [our]2790-we days . ”[186-jameson] “ Okay . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson puts [his]186-jameson hands on [his]186-jameson hips . “ When do [you]186-jameson want to see [me]186-jameson ? ”[186-jameson] “ Maybe twice through the week and once on weekends . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hesitate as [I]2959-i watch for [his]186-jameson cues . “ But only a few hours each time , of course . ”[2959-i] “ No . ”[186-jameson] Shit . [I]2959-i ’m going too far with [my]2959-i demands [here]385-new york . “ Two full nights through the week and one full night and half a day on the weekend . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ Half a day . ”[2959-i] “ Yes , starting today . [I]2959-i want [my]2959-i half day this morning . ”[2959-i] “ Today ? Why today ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i ’m going to go for a run while [you]186-jameson go back to sleep . Then [I]2959-i ’m coming [home]2289-home , and [we]2792-we are going to shower , and then [I]2959-i ’m making [you]186-jameson breakfast . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile softly . That sounds really good . “ And then [we]2792-we ’re going to come back to bed , and [I]186-jameson ’m going to fuck [you]186-jameson stupid again to get [me]186-jameson through another few days without [you]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson cups [my]2959-i face in [his]186-jameson hand . “ Okay ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson asks . [He]186-jameson ’s really quite swoony when [he]186-jameson ’s being nice . [I]2959-i nod as [I]2959-i try to control [my]2959-i goofy smile . [He]186-jameson closes the drapes and then lays [me]2959-i back down and tucks [me]2959-i in and kisses [me]2959-i softly on [my]2959-i temple . “ Go back to sleep , [sweetheart]2959-i , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers . [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes and smile into [my]2959-i pillow , and [I]2959-i hear [him]186-jameson leave [the apartment]300-the bathroom . [I]2959-i roll onto [my]2959-i back and look up at the fancy ceiling . [The man]186-jameson ’s [a god]341-a god . [I]2959-i doze for the next hour and wake as [Jameson]186-jameson walks into [the bedroom]300-the bathroom . [He]186-jameson ’s wet with perspiration and breathing heavily , and [I]2959-i sit up on [my]2959-i elbows as [I]2959-i watch [him]186-jameson . “ Where the hell did [you]186-jameson run to , [Antarctica]172-antarctica ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson chuckles and shakes [his]186-jameson head , still out of breath . “ [You]186-jameson must really run hard , huh ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson nods as [he]186-jameson puts [his]186-jameson hands on [his]186-jameson hips . “ The harder [I]186-jameson run , the better the effects . ”[186-jameson] “ Effects on what ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ [My]186-jameson stress levels . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson disappears into [the bathroom]300-the bathroom and turns the shower on . Oh , this is news . [He]186-jameson has stress issues ? Well , [I]2959-i guess [he]186-jameson would . [His]186-jameson workload is huge , after all . “ Are [you]2959-i getting in ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson calls . “ Yes , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i call as [I]2959-i amble in . [He]186-jameson ’s in the shower , and the water is running over [his]186-jameson head . [His]186-jameson breathing is slowly returning to normal . [I]2959-i get in , and [he]186-jameson wraps [me]2959-i in [his]186-jameson arms and kisses [me]2959-i softly . “ Good morning , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Good morning , [my]186-jameson Em . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson lips dust [mine]2959-i . [I]2959-i smile goofily up at [him]186-jameson . “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i like it when [you]2959-i call [me]2959-i that . ”[2959-i] “ [You]2959-i do ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smiles . “ [[Your]2959-i princess]2959-i Em . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i bat [my]2959-i eyelashes to prove [my]2959-i point . [He]186-jameson chuckles as [he]186-jameson picks up the soap and begins to wash [me]2959-i . “ [I]186-jameson have no doubt that underneath all that snarky [Ms. Foster]126-ms. foster act is [a pure sweetheart]2959-i . ”[186-jameson] “ [I]2959-i have n’t been snarky once , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i gasp . [He]186-jameson smiles down at [me]2959-i as [he]186-jameson tucks a piece of hair behind [my]2959-i ear . “ And look how beautiful [you]2793-you are . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i giggle and lean against [his]186-jameson chest . [He]186-jameson washes [my]2959-i back , [my]2959-i shoulders , [my]2959-i breasts , and then down [my]2959-i legs . [I]2959-i watch [him]186-jameson as [he]186-jameson concentrates on [his]186-jameson task . Then [he]186-jameson moves down to [my]2959-i sex , and [his]186-jameson eyes come to [mine]2959-i while [he]186-jameson touches [me]2959-i there . [Our]1075-our eyes are locked , but this does n’t feel sexual . It feels intimate . [I]2959-i stare into [his]186-jameson big blue eyes , and [I]2959-i swear this is n’t [the same man who runs [Miles Media]14-miles media]56-robbie . [The man with [me]2959-i]56-robbie now is sweet and tender . Everything [Jameson Miles]186-jameson is not . “ Let [me]186-jameson wash [you]56-robbie . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i take the soap from [him]56-robbie and lather [my]2959-i hands together and roam them over [his]56-robbie broad chest and muscular shoulders and biceps , then down [his]56-robbie rippled abs to [his]56-robbie groin , and [I]2959-i clench [my]2959-i insides while [I]2959-i wash [him]56-robbie there . [He]56-robbie leans down and kisses [my]2959-i temple softly , as if knowing [I]2959-i ’m holding [myself]2959-i back from pouncing on [him]56-robbie . [We]1077-we need to stop having sex all the time ; it ’s getting ridiculous . The sexual attraction is so strong that [neither of [us]1077-we]757-neither of us can get [our]1077-we fill of each other . “ [You]2794-you ’ve turned [me]2959-i into a complete sex maniac , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [He]56-robbie smiles down at [me]2959-i as [his]56-robbie lips dust [mine]2959-i . “ [I]56-robbie think [you]2794-you already suffered that affliction before [we]1077-we met — if [our]1077-we first night was anything to go by . ”[56-robbie] “ [I]56-robbie ’ve never been like this before . ”[56-robbie] “ Like what ? ”[56-robbie] “ [You]2794-you bring something out in [me]2959-i that [no other man]2795-no other man has . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes search [his]56-robbie . “ [You]2794-you ’re different from anyone [I]2959-i ’ve ever been with . ”[2959-i] [The water]1079-the water falls over [us]1080-we , and [I]2959-i do n’t know why [I]2959-i just told [him]56-robbie that . [I]2959-i can feel [myself]2959-i getting attached , and [I]2959-i do n’t know how to stop blurting things out . [I]2959-i ’m going to ruin everything . Stop talking , [fool]306-fool . [He]56-robbie takes [my]2959-i face in [his]56-robbie hands and kisses [me]2959-i . [His]56-robbie tongue swipes through [my]2959-i open mouth , and it ’s deep , erotic , tender , and goddamn . . . so fucking perfect that [I]2959-i ca n’t even deal . “ [I]56-robbie ’m taking [you]56-robbie back to bed , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie murmurs darkly . “ Please , ”[56-robbie] [I]2959-i whimper . [We]1080-we get out , and [he]56-robbie dries [us]1080-we both and then leads [me]2959-i back to bed and lays [me]2959-i down and spreads [my]2959-i legs open . [I]2959-i watch as [he]56-robbie rolls a condom on and lies down on top of [me]2959-i . [We]1080-we stare at each other as [he]56-robbie holds [himself]56-robbie up on [his]56-robbie elbows , and [his]56-robbie body finds that place between [my]2959-i legs . [I]2959-i grab [his]56-robbie behind , but [he]56-robbie stops [me]2959-i from pulling [him]56-robbie in . “ [I]56-robbie want it slow , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie breathes . Oh God , [my]2959-i insides begin to ripple in excitement . “ [I]56-robbie want [you]56-robbie . ”[56-robbie] [His]56-robbie lips take [mine]2959-i , and [our]1080-we kiss becomes frantic as [his]56-robbie body slides in slow and deep . [My]2959-i back arches off the bed in pleasure at [his]56-robbie possession . [I]2959-i moan loudly , and [his]56-robbie eyes roll back in pleasure . For twenty minutes , [we]1080-we slowly appreciate [each other]2339-each other ’s bodies ; [he]56-robbie ’s gentle and loving and so , so deep inside [me]2959-i . [His]56-robbie open mouth roams from [my]2959-i collarbone , up [my]2959-i neck , and across [my]2959-i jaw to [my]2959-i lips . “ Fuck , [Emily]186-jameson , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie whispers . “ [You]186-jameson turn [me]56-robbie inside out , [baby]186-jameson . ”[56-robbie] If [I]2959-i could reply , [I]2959-i would , but [I]2959-i ’m too busy in making - love heaven here . Being fucked hard by [Jameson Miles]186-jameson is hot as hell , but being made love to by [Jameson Miles]186-jameson is life changing . [I]2959-i ’ll never be the same . Where the hell does [a girl]387-a girl go after sex like this ? It builds inside [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i begin to quiver , but instead of getting harder like [he]56-robbie normally does , [he]56-robbie stops still . “ Take it , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie whispers . “ What ? ”[56-robbie] “ Stay still , and take it from [me]2959-i . Clench [your]56-robbie orgasm in . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes search [his]56-robbie . [Holy mother]1084-holy mother fuck . [I]2959-i ca n’t deal with how hot [this man]56-robbie is . “ Fuck [me]56-robbie , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie whispers . “ Do n’t move a muscle , except for here . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie flexes [his]56-robbie dick , and [I]2959-i feel it deep inside . “ [I]56-robbie want [you]56-robbie to show [me]56-robbie , just [me]56-robbie . . . how [you]56-robbie feel . ”[56-robbie] “ Oh God , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i moan . “ Come on , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie coaches . [I]2959-i clench , and [he]56-robbie smiles darkly . “ Harder . ”[56-robbie] [I]2959-i clench again , and [his]56-robbie lip curls in excitement . “ That ’s it , [baby]336-yay . ”[2959-i] [His]56-robbie eyes close in ecstasy . “ Milk [me]56-robbie , and show [me]56-robbie who it belongs to . ”[56-robbie] Something snaps inside [me]2959-i when [I]2959-i hear [him]56-robbie say that [his]56-robbie cock belongs to [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i bring [my]2959-i legs up and wrap them around [his]56-robbie waist and begin to clench in a rhythm . [He]56-robbie hisses in approval . “ So . . . good , ”[56-robbie] [I]2959-i whisper as [we]1085-we stare at each other . “ So . . . fucking good . ”[2959-i] To the outside world it would look like [we]1085-we are just cuddling as [we]1085-we lie perfectly still , but inside , every wall [I]2959-i ’ve ever built up is being demolished , clench by clench . [He]56-robbie begins to moan , and it sounds too good — [I]2959-i ca n’t hold it . [I]2959-i clench as hard as [I]2959-i can , and [we]1085-we both cry out as an orgasm tears between [us]1085-we . And then [he]56-robbie kisses [me]2959-i , and it ’s sweet and tender , and [I]2959-i feel emotion run between [us]1085-we . [I]2959-i hold [him]56-robbie close , cheek to cheek , as [I]2959-i hang on to [him]56-robbie for dear life . “ [You]56-robbie ’re so fucking perfect , [Emily]186-jameson , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie whispers . [I]2959-i run [my]2959-i fingers through [his]56-robbie stubble . “ It ’s [you]56-robbie who ’s perfect . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i kiss [him]56-robbie softly . “ [You]56-robbie should stop it immediately . ”[2959-i] “ Why is that ? ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie smiles . “ [I]56-robbie think [I]56-robbie may be addicted . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie chuckles and rolls onto [his]56-robbie back and pulls [me]2959-i over [him]56-robbie . “ No , [I]2959-i want [you]2959-i addicted . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i laugh . “ Why would [you]2959-i want [me]2959-i addicted ? ”[2959-i] “ Because [I]56-robbie am , and [I]56-robbie do n’t want to be in this alone . ”[56-robbie] [His]56-robbie eyes search [mine]2959-i , and [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i heart free - fall from [my]2959-i chest . “ [You]2959-i ’re not in this alone , [Jay]108-jay . ”[2959-i] “ Good . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie kisses [my]2959-i temple as [he]56-robbie seems to relax . [We]1086-we lie together in a tangled mess , and [he]56-robbie dozes back to sleep . [My]2959-i mind begins to go into overdrive . [I]2959-i have feelings for [him]56-robbie — [I]2959-i know [I]2959-i do . In just two days , [I]2959-i ’ve developed feelings for [him]56-robbie . How is this going to end ? [I]2959-i ’m totally screwed . An hour later , [I]2959-i wake to the smell of bacon cooking , and [I]2959-i smile up at the ceiling . [I]2959-i do n’t know what this alternate universe is , but [I]2959-i like it . [I]2959-i throw on a robe [I]2959-i found hanging in [the bathroom]300-the bathroom and make [my]2959-i way out into [the living area]765-the living area . [I]2959-i turn the corner and see a glass wall with a view over [New York]385-new york and [Central Park]17-central park . Over - the - top wealth and luxury hit [me]2959-i in the face , and [I]2959-i stop still on the spot . [I]2959-i ca n’t get [my]2959-i head around the fact that this is all [his]56-robbie . This money is [his]56-robbie money . [My]2959-i eyes roam over the beautiful floors , gorgeous rugs and furnishings , then to the fireplace and up to the huge gilded mirror above [it]1089-it . [I]2959-i ’ve never even seen [an apartment]2312-an apartment like this in a magazine , let alone been in one . [I]2959-i feel so out of place . “ Hey , there [you]2797-the first woman who ’s ever had a problem with my money are . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie smiles as [he]56-robbie comes around the corner and sees [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i give [him]56-robbie a lopsided smile . [He]56-robbie frowns as [he]56-robbie sees [my]2959-i face . “ What ’s wrong ? ”[56-robbie] [I]2959-i twist [my]2959-i hands in front of [me]2959-i nervously . “ [[Your]2797-the first woman who ’s ever had a problem with my money apartment]2745-your apartment freaks [me]2959-i out . ”[2959-i] “ Why ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug , embarrassed by [my]2959-i slummy standards . “ It ’s so fancy . [I]56-robbie feel like [I]56-robbie do n’t belong here . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie takes [me]2959-i in [his]56-robbie arms . “ What does that mean ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . “ Is that why [you]2797-the first woman who ’s ever had a problem with my money did n’t want to come here last weekend ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i nod . “ Yes . ”[2959-i] “ Explain to [me]2959-i why ? ”[2959-i] “ When [I]2959-i ’m here , [I]2959-i ’m reminded of how much [we]2799-we do n’t have in common . ”[2959-i] “ And that bothers [you]2797-the first woman who ’s ever had a problem with my money ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i nod shyly . [He]56-robbie frowns , as if trying to understand . “ [You]2797-the first woman who ’s ever had a problem with my money ’re [the first woman who ’s ever had a problem with [my]56-robbie money]2797-the first woman who ’s ever had a problem with my money . ”[56-robbie] “ It ’s a turnoff to [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] “ [Turnoff]173-turnoff ? ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie splutters . “ [I]2959-i would prefer [you]2797-the first woman who ’s ever had a problem with my money to be poor , actually . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile , knowing how ridiculous that sounds . [He]56-robbie chuckles . “ Well , that makes [one of [us]2801-us]2800-one of us . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie leads [me]2959-i into [the kitchen]683-the kitchen , and [I]2959-i see a breakfast of bacon and eggs on sourdough bread with a side of avocado . “ [Yum]174-yum . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i take a seat . “ [I]56-robbie ’ll have [you]174-yum know that [I]56-robbie ’m [an excellent breakfast chef]56-robbie . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie sits down beside [me]2959-i , looking very pleased with [himself]56-robbie . [My]2959-i smile fades , and [I]2959-i pick up [my]2959-i knife and fork . That ’s because [he]56-robbie cooks so many breakfasts . Stop it . [I]2959-i take [my]2959-i first mouthful . [I]2959-i wonder how [many women]1092-many women have sat here just like this and eaten [his]56-robbie cooking after having amazing sex all night . For [Christ]169-christ ’s sake , stop it . “ What are [you]174-yum doing today ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask to take [my]2959-i mind off [my]2959-i negative thoughts . “ Playing golf with [[my]56-robbie brothers]1038-my parents this afternoon , and then [I]56-robbie ’ll probably have dinner with [them]1092-many women and [[my]56-robbie parents]1038-my parents . [They]1092-many women go back to [London]6-london this week sometime . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie sips [his]56-robbie coffee . “ [You]56-robbie ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i imagine the four of [them]1092-many women playing golf . “ [I]56-robbie have to [food shop]2803-food shop . [I]56-robbie ’ll go for a walk and then write some bogus news stories . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie stops eating . “ [You]56-robbie do n’t have to work on the weekend , [you]56-robbie know . ”[56-robbie] “ [I]56-robbie know . [I]56-robbie just like to be ahead of schedule in case something comes up . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie nods and goes back to [his]56-robbie breakfast . “ Are [you]56-robbie going out tonight ? ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie asks casually . [I]2959-i ’m not , but [I]2959-i do n’t want [him]56-robbie to think [I]2959-i ’m at [home]2289-home pining over [him]56-robbie . “ Yes , [I]56-robbie am . ”[56-robbie] [His]56-robbie eyes come to [me]2959-i , and [his]56-robbie jaw ticks as if [he]56-robbie ’s angered . “ Where are [you]56-robbie going ? ”[56-robbie] “ Out to dinner with [Molly]198-molly and [Aaron]0-aaron . ”[56-robbie] “ Who ’s [Aaron]0-aaron ? ”[56-robbie] “ [[My]56-robbie friend]0-aaron [I]56-robbie work with , [the one who sits next to [me]56-robbie]0-aaron . [He]0-aaron ’s gay . ”[56-robbie] “ Oh . ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie cuts into [his]56-robbie toast , mollified for the moment . [I]2959-i watch [him]56-robbie for a moment as [he]56-robbie eats in silence . “ Would it bother [you]0-aaron if [I]56-robbie were going clubbing ? ”[56-robbie] [He]56-robbie sips [his]56-robbie coffee , stalling for [his]56-robbie answer . “ Well , if [your]0-aaron performance from last weekend is anything to go by , yes , it would . ”[56-robbie] [I]2959-i smile softly . “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ Nothing . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug ; [I]2959-i like that it bothers [him]56-robbie . [He]56-robbie rubs [his]56-robbie hand up [my]2959-i bare thigh and leans over to kiss [my]2959-i cheek . “ [I]56-robbie ’m not sharing [you]56-robbie . [I]56-robbie do n’t want [you]56-robbie dancing with [anybody]457-anybody . ”[56-robbie] [I]2959-i smile and rub [my]2959-i hands through [his]56-robbie stubble as [I]2959-i look into [his]56-robbie big blue eyes . “ Good , then [I]2959-i wo n’t . ”[2959-i] An hour later , [the limo]678-the limo pulls up in front of [[my]2959-i apartment]703-my building . [Jameson]186-jameson picks up [my]2959-i hand and kisses the back of it as [his]186-jameson eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ Until Tuesday . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i smile softly at [the beautiful man in front of [me]2959-i]1096-the beautiful man in front of me . “ Until Tuesday . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i kiss [him]1096-the beautiful man in front of me softly on the lips . [The driver]530-the driver opens the car door , and [I]2959-i walk up to the front door of [[my]2959-i building]703-my building and turn and wave . [The car]369-the car waits for [me]2959-i to go inside and then pulls out slowly and drives down [the street]550-the street . [I]2959-i exhale heavily as [I]2959-i anticipate spending the rest of [my]2959-i weekend alone . Damn it , Tuesday is so far away . [I]2959-i lie in a state of deep relaxation on [my]2959-i couch . Rebelling against [Jameson]186-jameson , [I]2959-i did in fact order [Uber]153-uber eats Eats for one , and yes , [I]2959-i put the chain on [my]2959-i door , just in case . [My]2959-i phone dances across the table , and the name [Aaron]0-aaron lights up the screen . “ Hello . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk . Damn , [this man]56-robbie makes [me]2959-i laugh . “ Oh . . . [my]56-robbie fuck , ”[56-robbie] [he]56-robbie stammers . “ [I]2959-i just hacked [Paul]101-paul ’s email , and [he]101-paul ’s meeting [a guy at a club]2805-a guy at a club tonight . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sit up . “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ Yes , and it gets worse . ”[56-robbie] “ How can it possibly ? ”[2959-i] “ [He]101-paul ’s been on [Grindr]102-grindr . ”[2959-i] “ Oh [[my]2959-i God]2363-my god , are [you]2363-my god kidding [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i gasp . “ [He]101-paul ’s on [Grindr]102-grindr ? ”[2959-i] “ Yes , get dressed . [We]2807-we are going down there to bust a move . ”[2959-i] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shriek . “ [You]2363-my god heard [me]2959-i . Put on something sexy . [I]2959-i ’ll be there in half an hour . ”[2959-i] “ But . . . ”[56-robbie] The phone clicks as [he]56-robbie hangs up . Oh shit . Damn it , [I]2959-i do n’t want to go out tonight . [My]2959-i phone rings again , and the name [Molly]198-molly lights up the screen . “ [I]198-molly know , ”[198-molly] [I]2959-i answer , knowing that [Aaron]0-aaron would have called [her]198-molly too . “ [He]101-paul ’s on fucking [Grindr]102-grindr ? ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly shrieks . “ [I]198-molly know . ”[198-molly] “ [You]2363-my god do [me]2959-i a favor . Tonight when [you]2363-my god see [Paul]101-paul ’s pencil dick , [you]2363-my god grind it to a pulp with [your]101-paul fucking shoe . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i giggle . “ [I]2959-i ’m hoping not to see it , [Moll]198-molly . ”[2959-i] “ [I]198-molly ca n’t believe this shit , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly snaps in outrage . “ [I]198-molly know . ”[198-molly] “ [Aaron]0-aaron is way too good for [him]0-aaron . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i know . Are [you]2363-my god coming on [our]2808-our bust - a - move mission ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]198-molly ca n’t . [I]198-molly ’ve got [the kids]452-the kids . Wear a GoPro strapped to [your]101-paul head so [I]198-molly can see what happens . ”[198-molly] “ Ca n’t [you]101-paul drop [the kids]452-the kids with [[their]452-the kids dad]2411-their dad ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ This is an emergency . ”[2959-i] “ No . [He]0-aaron ’s on a date with a whore bag . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i giggle again . “ Honestly , so much shit going on around here . ”[2959-i] “ [I]198-molly know , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly snaps . “ Okay , [I]198-molly ’m calling [you]0-aaron every hour . Answer [your]0-aaron phone . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly hangs up . An hour later , [Aaron]0-aaron leads [me]2959-i through [the nightclub]909-the club by the hand as [he]0-aaron scans [the club]909-the club . It ’s small and dark , and the music is the dance - club type . The beat is tantric . “ Do [you]0-aaron see [him]0-aaron ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i call . “ Nope . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron narrows [his]0-aaron eyes as [he]0-aaron looks around . “ What are [you]0-aaron going to do if [you]0-aaron do see [him]0-aaron ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ End it . ”[2959-i] “ Why do n’t [you]0-aaron just end it anyway ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ [I]2959-i need proof . ”[2959-i] “ The email is the proof , [Aaron]0-aaron , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i huff . “ [I]0-aaron knew [he]0-aaron was up to something , ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron fumes . “ [That fucking asshole]0-aaron has spent the last week in [my]0-aaron bed , and [he]0-aaron ’s trolling [Grindr]102-grindr for sex . ”[0-aaron] “ Were [you]0-aaron in a relationship , like full - on ? ”[2959-i] “ No , [he]0-aaron said [he]0-aaron did n’t want [a boyfriend]450-a boyfriend but that [he]0-aaron wanted to have sex with [me]2959-i only . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . That sounds very familiar . “ So [you]0-aaron ’ve been monogamous with [him]0-aaron all along ? ”[2959-i] “ Of course [I]2959-i have . [I]2959-i do n’t fuck around . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i scrunch up [my]2959-i nose in disgust . “ Honestly , kick this douche to [the curb]549-the curb . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i will . As soon as [I]2959-i find [him]0-aaron . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes and feel [my]2959-i phone vibrate in [my]2959-i bag . [I]2959-i dig it out . “ Hello , [Molly]198-molly . ”[2959-i] “ What ’s happening ? ”[2959-i] “ [We]2813-we ca n’t find [him]0-aaron , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply as [I]2959-i look around . “ Go and sit in the corner out of view , and wait for [them]2813-we to get there . Do n’t stand where [they]2813-we can see [you]198-molly . ”[2959-i] “ Oh , right . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i hand over the phone . “ [Molly]198-molly says [we]1102-us should sit somewhere out of sight so [he]0-aaron does n’t see [us]1102-us . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron points at [me]2959-i . “ Great idea . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron grabs [me]2959-i by the hand and leads [us]1102-us over to [a booth]1103-a booth . “ [I]0-aaron ’ll sit [here]385-new york . [You]0-aaron go and get drinks , ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron snaps as [he]0-aaron slides into the seat . [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . “ Are [[your]0-aaron kids]2419-the two of them really fucking [home]2289-home ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap to [Molly]198-molly . “ How did [I]198-molly get stuck with this job ? ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly laughs . “ [I]198-molly ’ll call back in an hour . ”[198-molly] Then [she]198-molly hangs up . “ What do [you]198-molly want to drink ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ A pink flamingo . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look at [him]0-aaron deadpan . “ That is the gayest drink [I]2959-i ever heard of . ”[2959-i] “ Because [I]0-aaron ’m gay . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron widens [his]0-aaron eyes in exasperation ; [he]0-aaron ’s in no mood for [my]2959-i jokes tonight . “ Just get it . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i giggle and head to [the bar]459-the bar to wait in line . “ Hey , [Foster]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hear [a man]2300-a man ’s voice call from behind . [I]2959-i turn and see [Jake]108-jay from [the investigation team]1106-the investigation team . “ Oh , hi . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ What are [you]108-jay doing here ? ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron holds up [his]0-aaron drink . “ Drinking . ”[0-aaron] “ Obviously . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk . [His]0-aaron eyes scan up and down [my]2959-i body in [my]2959-i black dress . “ Wow , [you]108-jay look hot . ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i smile bashfully . This is awkward . “ Thanks . ”[0-aaron] “ Want to come dance ? ”[0-aaron] “ Um . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . Oh God . “ No , thanks anyway . [I]2959-i ’m here with [Aaron]0-aaron . ”[2959-i] “ Oh , where is [he]0-aaron ? ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron looks around . Oh shit , now [I]2959-i ’ve done it . “ [He]0-aaron ’s in a booth at the back . ”[2959-i] “ [I]0-aaron ’ll go say hi . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron disappears off in that direction . Oh great . Now [we]1107-we are going to have to act normal , when all [we]1107-we want to do is [Paul]101-paul - hate and [spy]1108-spy . [I]2959-i get [our]1107-we drinks and head back to the table and find [Aaron]0-aaron and [Jake]108-jay deep in conversation about work . Hmm . [I]2959-i wonder . Does [he]0-aaron think [Aaron]0-aaron ’s involved and is milking [him]0-aaron for information ? [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i drink as [they]1109-they talk , and [I]2959-i do an internal assessment of [him]0-aaron . [He]0-aaron ’s actually quite good looking , with sandy hair , a square jaw , and dimples , and [he]0-aaron has a great laugh . [I]2959-i ’ve never noticed [him]0-aaron before because whenever [Jameson]186-jameson is in [the same room]1110-the same room , [all men]2306-all men pale in comparison . “ [I]0-aaron ’m going to get a drink and come back and sit with [[you]0-aaron guys]2579-you guys , ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron says as [he]0-aaron stands . “ [You]0-aaron want one , [Foster]186-jameson ? ”[0-aaron] “ No thanks . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i fake a smile . “ [You]0-aaron , [Az]176-az ? ”[2959-i] “ No , [I]0-aaron ’m good , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron replies . [He]0-aaron disappears to [the bar]459-the bar . “ Oh [my]0-aaron God , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron scoffs . “ [I]0-aaron did n’t come here to talk about work , and what ’s with the fucking nicknames ? [He]0-aaron ’s not [[my]0-aaron friend]2617-my friend . ”[0-aaron] “ [I]2959-i know , right ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . “ Why did [you]0-aaron tell [him]0-aaron where [I]2959-i was ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i do n’t know , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . “ [He]0-aaron put [me]2959-i on the spot . ”[2959-i] “ Ugh , great . Now [we]2819-we have to sit with this wanker . ”[2959-i] “ Can [we]2819-we just go ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ This whole fucking night is a disaster . ”[2959-i] “ No . [We]2819-we are staying [here]385-new york until the lights come on . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i head into [my]2959-i hands , and [my]2959-i phone rings . “ Hello , [Molly]198-molly , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap , annoyed that [she]1113-she ’s avoided this hell . “ Nothing ’s fucking happened yet . ”[1113-she] Monday morning , 10:00 a.m. [My]2959-i phone on [my]2959-i desk rings . “ Hello , [Emily]186-jameson , ”[246-alan] [Sammia]246-alan says . “ [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles would like to see [you]186-jameson in [[his]1115-his office]426-his office right away , please . ”[177-excitement] [Excitement]177-excitement runs through [me]2959-i . “ Okay , [I]2959-i ’ll come now . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i fix [my]2959-i hair and reapply [my]2959-i lipstick and practically run to [the elevator]670-the foyer . [I]2959-i hope [he]1115-his ’s missed [me]2959-i and is making an excuse to see [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i get to the top floor and stride through [the foyer]670-the foyer . “ Hello , [Sammia]246-alan . ”[2959-i] “ Hi , [Emily]186-jameson . Just go through . ”[2959-i] “ Thank [you]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i can walk on the marble today , because [I]2959-i finally bought those new shoes with the rubber soles . Not a click in sight . [I]2959-i knock on [his]1115-his door . “ Come in , ”[1115-his] [his]1115-his deep voice purrs . [I]2959-i open the door , and [my]2959-i face drops . [Jake]108-jay is sitting in front of [[Jameson]186-jameson ’s desk]1116-jameson ’s desk . “ Hello . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . What ’s [he]108-jay doing here ? [Buzz]178-buzz off . This is [my]2959-i time with [him]108-jay . [Jake]108-jay turns to [me]2959-i , and [his]108-jay face lights up . “ Hey , [Foster]186-jameson . ”[108-jay] [Jameson]186-jameson ’s eyes hold [Jake]108-jay ’s . “ [You]108-jay two seem very chummy . ”[186-jameson] “ Oh , [we]2822-we went clubbing together on Saturday night , did n’t [we]2822-we , [Foz]179-foz ? ”[108-jay] [He]108-jay smiles happily . [Jameson]186-jameson ’s eyes come back to [me]2959-i , and [his]186-jameson jaw ticks in anger . Holy fuck . Chapter 13 “ Oh , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer in a fluster . “ [We]2822-we ran into each other , that ’s all . ”[2959-i] [Jameson]186-jameson raises an eyebrow , unimpressed . “ Oh , do n’t be shy , [Foster]186-jameson . [We]2822-we get along famously , ”[186-jameson] [Jake]108-jay the imbecile says . [I]2959-i feel the blood drain from [my]2959-i face . Just shut the hell up , would [you]108-jay ? [I]2959-i turn back to [Jameson]186-jameson , hoping to change the subject . “ [You]108-jay wanted to see [me]2959-i , [sir]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] “ Yes . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson eyes float over to [Jake]108-jay . “ [I]186-jameson want to know what leads [you]108-jay have , [Mr. Peters]246-alan . ”[186-jameson] “ Call [me]186-jameson [Jake]108-jay , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson says . [Jameson]186-jameson glares at [him]186-jameson but remains silent . [Oh man]186-jameson . This is uncomfortable . [I]2959-i grip [my]2959-i notepad with white - knuckle force . Why did [he]186-jameson have to say [we]1117-we went out together ? [We]1117-we did not go out together . [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i face begin to perspire . “ Get to the point , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson snaps . “ Well , [I]186-jameson ’m chasing a few leads , nothing concrete yet . It ’s very early days . ”[186-jameson] “ Early days ? ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson repeats . “ Are [you]186-jameson aware , [Mr. Peters]246-alan , of the importance of a swift resolution on this matter ? ”[186-jameson] “ Yes , [sir]246-alan , but — ”[186-jameson] “ No buts , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson growls . “ [Our]1117-we stocks dropped by four million dollars today . Every damn day [they]1117-we drop by that much . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson slams [his]186-jameson hand on the table , making [us]1117-we both jump . “ Do not tell [me]186-jameson it ’s early days , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson bellows . [Jake]108-jay and [I]2959-i wither in [our]1117-we chairs . [I]2959-i ’ve never seen [Jameson]186-jameson this angry . [He]186-jameson is stressed . [I]2959-i wonder if [he]186-jameson went for a run this morning . [I]2959-i ’m guessing not . “ [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i interrupt . [Jameson]186-jameson puts [his]186-jameson hand up to silence [me]2959-i . “ [Emily]186-jameson , [I]186-jameson want four stories this week . ”[186-jameson] “ Yes , [sir]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] “ [They]2823-they need to be sharp , relevant , and , most importantly , traceable . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i nod . “ Okay . ”[2959-i] “ [You]186-jameson can go , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson snaps . “ That is all . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown as [my]2959-i eyes flick between [him]186-jameson and [Jake]108-jay . Who ’s [he]186-jameson talking to ? “ [Me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i point to [my]2959-i chest . “ Yes , [you]2959-i , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson snaps . “ Who else would [I]186-jameson be talking to ? ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i feel anger flutter in [my]2959-i stomach . “ Fine . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pick up [my]2959-i notepad and stand . “ [I]2959-i want the stories by four o’clock each day . ”[2959-i] “ Very well , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i call as [I]2959-i walk toward the door . “ Send [Tristan]2430-tristan in , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson snaps . [I]2959-i ’m not [[your]2959-i damn secretary]1118-your damn secretary . [I]2959-i open the door and fake a smile . “ Sure , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say through gritted teeth as [I]2959-i close the door behind [me]2959-i . Damn rude pig . Who the heck does [he]186-jameson think [he]186-jameson is ? [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes in pity for [Jake]108-jay . [He]186-jameson ’s going to get eaten alive in there . [Jameson Miles]186-jameson is fucking mean when [he]186-jameson ’s stressed . [I]2959-i see why [he]186-jameson runs — probably keeps [him]186-jameson out of [jail]1119-jail . Who knows what would happen if [he]186-jameson did n’t exercise ? [I]2959-i walk out to [the reception area]1120-the reception area and then through to [the other side of [the building]361-the building]1121-the other side of the building , and [I]2959-i knock on [Tristan]2430-tristan ’s door . “ Come in , ”[2430-tristan] [he]2430-tristan calls . [I]2959-i smile when [I]2959-i hear how much [he]2430-tristan sounds like [[his]2430-tristan brother]617-his brother . [I]2959-i open the door . “ [Jameson]186-jameson asked [me]2959-i to . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pause as [I]2959-i try to make it sound nicer than how it came out . “ [He]2430-tristan wants to see [me]2430-tristan ? ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan smirks . “ Yes . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan stands . “ Everything okay ? ”[2430-tristan] [he]2430-tristan asks casually as [we]1124-we begin to walk back to reception . “ [He]2430-tristan ’s . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug as [I]2959-i try to think of a description . “ Agitated . ”[2959-i] “ Hmm . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan frowns as if concerned . “ [He]2430-tristan has a lot going on , but [you]2430-tristan already know that . ”[2430-tristan] “ Yes . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as [my]2959-i eyes hold [his]2430-tristan . Does [he]2430-tristan know ? [He]2430-tristan winks as [he]2430-tristan walks down [the corridor]609-the corridor toward [[Jameson]186-jameson ’s office]2600-jameson ’s office . “ Catch [you]2430-tristan later . ”[2430-tristan] What was that wink ? Was that code for “ [I]2430-tristan know [you]2430-tristan fuck [him]2430-tristan ”[2430-tristan] ? Does [he]2430-tristan know [we]1127-we are back together ? Shit . [The receptionist]625-the receptionist is n’t at [her]625-the receptionist desk , and [I]2959-i glance down [the hallway]609-the corridor toward [[Jameson]186-jameson ’s office]2600-jameson ’s office . Damn it , what ’s going on in there ? The door opens . Shit , [I]2959-i do n’t want [them]1127-we to see [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i duck behind the reception desk , and then [I]2959-i hear [Jameson]186-jameson ’s sharp voice as [he]186-jameson says something , and [I]2959-i wince . [Jake]108-jay storms past and gets into [the elevator]375-the elevator and hits the button with force . The doors close , and [my]2959-i eyes widen as [I]2959-i peer out from behind the desk . What the hell did [he]186-jameson just say ? [Jameson]186-jameson [I]2959-i inhale deeply through [my]2959-i nose as [I]2959-i try to calm [myself]2959-i down . “ For [God]0-aaron ’s sake , [Jameson]186-jameson , ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan snaps . “ Tone it down . [The poor bastard]2430-tristan is doing the best [he]2430-tristan can . ”[2430-tristan] “ Bullshit . [He]2430-tristan ’s useless . [He]2430-tristan ’s been [here]385-new york a week and has n’t a fucking clue what ’s going on . [He]2430-tristan ’s more interested in chasing [the damn girls around [downstairs]2454-downstairs]2825-the damn girls around downstairs . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i go to [the bar]459-the bar and pour [myself]2959-i a scotch and then walk over to the window and stare at [the city]2-the city below . “ It ’s ten o’clock , ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan says dryly as [he]2430-tristan watches [me]2959-i . “ So ? ”[2430-tristan] [I]2959-i snap as [I]2959-i sip the scotch and feel the warmth of it roll down [my]2959-i throat . “ And [the damn girl]356-my mother [downstairs]2454-downstairs would n’t happen to be [Emily Foster]186-jameson , would it ? ”[2959-i] “ Do n’t fucking start . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . [I]2959-i ’m fucking livid that [she]356-my mother went out with [him]2430-tristan on the weekend . “ Have [you]186-jameson got the management report ? ”[356-my mother] [I]2959-i snap to change the subject . “ No , it ’s in [[my]2430-tristan office]455-my office . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan heads for the door . “ [I]2430-tristan ’ll go get it . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan disappears as [I]2959-i stare out over [New York]385-new york . “ Hi . ”[2430-tristan] [I]2959-i hear a soft voice from behind [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i sigh as [my]2959-i gaze stays out the window . “ Go back to work , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ Are [you]186-jameson all right ? ”[356-my mother] [she]356-my mother says as [she]356-my mother walks toward [me]2959-i . “ [I]356-my mother ’m fine . ”[356-my mother] [I]2959-i clench [my]2959-i jaw to stop [myself]2959-i from looking at [her]356-my mother . [She]356-my mother walks over and takes [my]2959-i scotch from [me]2959-i and goes to the sink and pours it down the drain . “ What the hell are [you]186-jameson doing ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . [She]356-my mother smiles up at [me]2959-i and slides [her]356-my mother hands under [my]2959-i suit jacket and around [my]2959-i waist . “ Looking after [[my]356-my mother man]2829-my man . ”[356-my mother] “ Do n’t tip [my]356-my mother fucking drink out . ”[356-my mother] “ Then do n’t drink because [you]2829-my man ’re stressed . [You]2829-my man ’re playing with fire , [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[356-my mother] “ [You]2829-my man ’re not [[my]356-my mother mother]356-my mother . ”[356-my mother] [She]356-my mother smiles sexily and goes up onto [her]356-my mother toes and kisses [me]2959-i softly . [I]2959-i glare at [her]356-my mother . “ [I]2959-i ’m furious at [you]2829-my man . ”[2959-i] “ [I]356-my mother know . ”[356-my mother] [She]356-my mother kisses [me]2959-i again . “ [I]2959-i was n’t going out , and then [we]2830-we had to spy on [[Aaron]0-aaron ’s boyfriend]2831-aaron ’s boyfriend because [he]0-aaron was meeting [someone there from [Grindr]102-grindr]2832-someone there from grindr . And [Jake]108-jay turned up and would n’t stop talking to [us]2830-we . [He]0-aaron ’s so annoying . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i glare at [her]356-my mother . [She]356-my mother smiles and snuggles into [my]2959-i chest . “ [I]356-my mother missed [you]356-my mother this weekend . ”[356-my mother] [I]2959-i feel [myself]2959-i relax for the first time since [I]2959-i dropped [her]356-my mother off at [home]2289-home on Saturday . “ Do n’t miss [me]2959-i , [Em]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sigh . “ [I]356-my mother ca n’t help it . ”[356-my mother] [She]356-my mother kisses [my]2959-i lips , totally oblivious to anything [I]2959-i ’m saying . “ If [you]356-my mother ’re stressed , [you]356-my mother go down to [the gym]2412-the gym , or [you]356-my mother come and get [me]2959-i . What about karate ? [I]2959-i hear that ’s amazing . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . “ Doing karate and turning into the fucking Kung Fu Panda will not relieve [my]2959-i stress , [Emily]186-jameson . It ’s laughable that [you]186-jameson think that it would . ”[2959-i] “ Okay , well , hell , go for a run . [I]2959-i do n’t want [you]186-jameson day drinking . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap [my]2959-i arm around [her]356-my mother waist , unable to control [myself]2959-i any longer . “ And [I]356-my mother told [you]186-jameson [I]356-my mother do n’t want [you]186-jameson out with [other men]2834-other men . Especially [him]356-my mother . ”[356-my mother] [She]356-my mother runs [her]356-my mother fingers through [my]2959-i stubble as [she]356-my mother smiles softly . “ [You]186-jameson ’re [[my]356-my mother only man]186-jameson , ”[356-my mother] [she]356-my mother whispers up at [me]2959-i . “ It ’s [you]186-jameson that [I]356-my mother ’m thinking about . ”[356-my mother] [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i anger slowly leave [me]2959-i as [we]1134-we kiss . “ [I]356-my mother need [you]186-jameson tonight , ”[356-my mother] [she]356-my mother says softly . God , [I]2959-i need [her]356-my mother too . No , stick to the rules . “ It ’s not Tuesday . ”[356-my mother] “ [I]356-my mother do n’t care . ”[356-my mother] “ Do [you]186-jameson have to disobey [me]356-my mother on every single thing , [Ms. Foster]126-ms. foster ? ”[356-my mother] “ Just [you]186-jameson wait to see how naughty [I]356-my mother ’m going to be tonight , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles , ”[356-my mother] [she]356-my mother breathes as [I]2959-i pull [her]356-my mother against [me]2959-i to feel [my]2959-i erection . “ Ahem . ”[356-my mother] A voice sounds at the door , and [we]1134-we both look up , startled . [Emily]186-jameson jumps back from [me]2959-i . “ [Tristan]2430-tristan , ”[356-my mother] [she]356-my mother splutters . “ [I]356-my mother was just . . . ”[356-my mother] [Her]356-my mother eyes flick between [him]1135-him and [me]2959-i . “ [I]2430-tristan mean , [I]2430-tristan . . . ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan chuckles . “ Do [you]2430-tristan want [me]2430-tristan to leave ? ”[2430-tristan] “ No , ”[356-my mother] [she]356-my mother stammers . “ [I]356-my mother ’m leaving . ”[356-my mother] [She]356-my mother practically runs for the door . “ Ah , um , goodbye . ”[356-my mother] [I]2959-i smirk as [I]2959-i watch [her]356-my mother face turn a deep crimson . [Tristan]2430-tristan already knows — [we]1136-we tell [each other]2339-each other everything . “ Goodbye , [Ms. Foster]126-ms. foster . [I]356-my mother shall send [the car]369-the car for [you]126-ms. foster at seven . ”[356-my mother] [She]356-my mother nods in embarrassment and scurries from [the office]385-new york , and [I]2959-i smile after [her]356-my mother . [Tristan]2430-tristan ’s eyes hold [mine]2959-i for a moment . “ [She]356-my mother ’s good for [you]126-ms. foster . ”[2430-tristan] “ That ’s debatable . ”[186-jameson] [Emily]186-jameson [I]2959-i smile broadly at the closed elevator doors in front of [me]2959-i . It worked . [I]2959-i wanted to calm [him]2430-tristan down , and it worked . [He]2430-tristan ’s a mirror . If [I]2959-i ’m calm , [he]2430-tristan ’s calm . Maybe if [I]2959-i ’m honest , [he]2430-tristan ’ll be honest , and [I]2959-i do n’t know what that means for [my]2959-i little hard - to - get act , but [I]2959-i guess [I]2959-i ’ll find out soon enough . [He]2430-tristan did n’t seem annoyed when [I]2959-i told [him]2430-tristan [I]2959-i missed [him]2430-tristan — [he]2430-tristan actually seemed relieved . Or maybe that ’s just wishful thinking on [my]2959-i part . [I]2959-i get back to [my]2959-i floor , and [my]2959-i eyes scan [the room]514-the room as [I]2959-i walk back to [my]2959-i desk . [Somebody]251-somebody working here , alongside [me]2959-i , is [a thief]1141-a thief . [They]1142-they ’re stealing from [the Miles family]1143-the miles family ; [the company]2358-the company ’s value is plummeting , and [[my]2959-i [Jay]108-jay]1145-my jay is stressed beyond belief . [I]2959-i wish [I]2959-i could talk to [Molly]198-molly and [Aaron]0-aaron about this . [I]2959-i ’m sure if [we]1146-we brainstormed together , [we]1146-we could come up with more than [Jake]108-jay has . [I]2959-i ca n’t ; [I]2959-i gave [them]1142-they [my]2959-i word [I]2959-i would n’t tell a soul . [I]2959-i take a seat back at [my]2959-i desk . “ How did it go ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron asks . “ Fine , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i lie . “ It ’s blatantly obvious that [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles has a thing for [you]0-aaron . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly smirks . “ Why is it ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ [We]2836-we never got this kind of specialized training program . ”[198-molly] [Her]198-molly eyes flick to [Aaron]0-aaron . “ Did [we]2836-we ? ”[198-molly] “ Nope , ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i replies as [his]2959-i eyes stay glued to [his]2959-i computer . “ Please tell [me]2959-i [you]0-aaron are secretly going up there to suck [his]2959-i dick . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk but stay silent . [Molly]198-molly ’s eyes come to [me]2959-i in question . “ Are [you]0-aaron ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . [I]2959-i ca n’t lie to [them]1147-them ; [I]2959-i just wo n’t elaborate . “ What the fuck ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron whispers as [he]0-aaron rolls [his]0-aaron chair over to [mine]2959-i ; [Molly]198-molly , too , rolls [her]198-molly chair over next to [mine]2959-i . “ [You]0-aaron have seen [him]0-aaron ? ”[198-molly] “ Possibly . ”[198-molly] “ What the fuck ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly whispers . “ When ? ”[198-molly] “ A few times , but Friday night was the last time [I]0-aaron saw [him]0-aaron . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron does a cross over [his]0-aaron chest and pretends to pray . “ Thank [you]0-aaron , [Jesus]107-jesus . ”[0-aaron] “ But do n’t say anything , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ It ’s just very casual , nothing to get excited about yet . ”[2959-i] [Molly]198-molly ’s eyes widen in exasperation . “ Are [you]0-aaron kidding [me]198-molly ? [Screwing Jameson Miles]186-jameson is something to get excited about , [woman]76-woman . Have [you]0-aaron seen [him]0-aaron ? ”[198-molly] [I]2959-i smile broadly at [their]1148-their over - the - top reactions . “ [I]2959-i ’m just playing it cool , but [I]2959-i am going up there for a project with [Tristan]2430-tristan and not to see [Jay]108-jay . ”[2959-i] That ’s not lying — it is true . . . ish . [Aaron]0-aaron puts [his]0-aaron hand over [his]0-aaron chest . “ Oh hell , [she]198-molly calls [him]108-jay [Jay]108-jay . Be still [my]0-aaron beating heart . ”[0-aaron] “ Kill [me]198-molly now . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly sighs dreamily . “ Have [you]0-aaron been to [[his]108-jay apartment]2529-your house ? ”[198-molly] “ Uh - huh , and [he]108-jay spent the night at [mine]2959-i . ”[1148-their] [Their]1148-their eyes widen . “ [He]108-jay came to [[your]0-aaron house]2529-your house ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron shrieks . “ Shh , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [I]2959-i look at [the people around [us]1150-us]540-the people around us . “ Keep it down , and [you]0-aaron ca n’t tell a soul . Especially not [Ava]77-ava — [you]0-aaron know what [she]77-ava ’s like . ”[2959-i] “ Oh God , can [you]0-aaron imagine ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly rolls [her]198-molly eyes . “ [She]77-ava ’ll be [your]0-aaron new bestie if [she]77-ava knows [you]0-aaron are with [him]0-aaron . [She]77-ava ’ll be stuck to [you]0-aaron like glue if there ’s a chance [she]77-ava will get to [[his]0-aaron brothers]2390-his brothers . ”[198-molly] “ Well , [she]77-ava ca n’t have [Tristan]2430-tristan . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i tut as [I]2959-i turn on [my]2959-i computer . “ [He]0-aaron ’s way too nice for [her]77-ava . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . “ [He]0-aaron ’s taken , anyway , [I]1151-i think . ”[1151-i] [We]1151-i begin to work , and [Aaron]0-aaron ’s phone rings . “ It ’s [Paul]101-paul , ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron stammers in a panic . “ Decline , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say without looking up . “ But [I]0-aaron want to see what [he]0-aaron has to say . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron picks up the phone , and [Molly]198-molly snatches it from [him]0-aaron and hits decline . “ [He]0-aaron says ‘ fuck [me]198-molly on [Grindr]102-grindr ’ to [the whole world]2840-the whole world . Will [you]0-aaron stop being pathetic ? Kick [this asshole]102-grindr to [the curb]549-the curb , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly snaps . [Aaron]0-aaron ’s shoulders slump sadly . [I]2959-i rub [his]0-aaron back in sympathy . “ It will get easier , [babe]0-aaron . ”[2959-i] “ Yeah , when [we]2842-we set fire to [his]0-aaron sleazy ball sack , ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly whispers angrily . [I]2959-i giggle . “ Set fire to [his]0-aaron sleazy ball sack — [you]0-aaron speak with such articulation , [Moll]198-molly . ”[2959-i] “ [I]198-molly know , right ? This is why [I]198-molly ’m [a reporter]2566-a reporter . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly stands . “ [I]198-molly ’m going to make [us]2842-we coffee . [You]0-aaron both want one ? ”[198-molly] “ Uh - huh . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron blows out a deflated breath . “ Can [you]0-aaron find [us]2842-we some cake too ? Surely it ’s [somebody]251-somebody ’s birthday around here . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly looks around . “ Yep , where ’s [that Uber guy]246-alan when [we]2842-we need [him]246-alan ? ”[198-molly] [Her]198-molly eyes come to [me]2959-i . “ Oh [my]2959-i God , was that cheesecake last week sent from [Jameson]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile broadly . [Aaron]0-aaron puts [his]0-aaron head down and pretends to hit it on the desk . “ [He]0-aaron even sends cheesecakes . [The man]246-alan is a for [real fucking god]2846-real fucking god . ”[0-aaron] [Buzz]178-buzz goes [my]2959-i door buzzer . “ Hello . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ Hello , [Ms. Foster]126-ms. foster . This is [Alan]246-alan , [[Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles ’s driver]126-ms. foster . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i face falls . “ Oh . Is everything all right ? ”[2959-i] “ Yes , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles asked [me]2959-i to collect [you]246-alan and take [you]246-alan to [[his]0-aaron apartment]766-my apartment . [He]0-aaron ’s been delayed on a conference call and will be joining [you]246-alan shortly . ”[2959-i] “ Oh , okay . [I]2959-i ’m on [my]2959-i way . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i grab [my]2959-i overnight bag that [I]2959-i packed , and with one last look around [[my]2959-i apartment]766-my apartment , [I]2959-i head [downstairs]2454-downstairs . [I]2959-i walk out onto [the curb]549-the curb to see [the driver in [his]1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo customary black suit standing next to [the limo]678-the limo]1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo . “ Hello , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say nervously as [I]2959-i approach [him]1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo . “ Hello . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i ’m [Emily]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hold out [my]2959-i hand , embarrassed that [I]2959-i have n’t introduced [myself]2959-i before now . “ [I]1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo ’m [Alan]246-alan . ”[1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo] [He]1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo smiles warmly as [we]1157-we shake hands . “ Are [you]246-alan ready ? ”[1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo] “ Yes . ”[1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo] [He]1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo opens the door , and [I]2959-i climb into the back of [the car]369-the car . [He]1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo closes the door , and [we]1157-we drive through the [New York]385-new york night . This does n’t seem real — [me]2959-i sitting in the back of [a limo]1159-a limo being driven to [[Jameson]186-jameson ’s apartment]1160-his building by [[his]1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo driver]739-his driver . [We]1157-we get to [[his]1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo building]1160-his building , and [he]1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo stops in [the pull - up area]1162-the pull - up area and opens the door . “ [I]1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo ’ll take [you]1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo up . ”[1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo] [He]1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo goes to take [my]2959-i bag from [me]2959-i . “ It ’s okay . [I]1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo ’ve got it . Thank [you]1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo anyway . ”[1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo] [He]1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo frowns . [I]2959-i see [his]1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo disappointment . “ Unless [you]1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo want to carry it , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i splutter . “ Thank [you]1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo . ”[1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo] [He]1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo smiles as [he]1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo takes it from [me]2959-i . “ [I]93-jeez would prefer to . ”[93-jeez] [Jeez]93-jeez . [He]1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo got offended that [I]2959-i wanted to carry [my]2959-i own bag . What is this alternate universe ? [We]1163-we get into [the swanky elevator]1164-the swanky elevator , and [the attendant]278-the attendant already knows what floor to take [me]2959-i to . [He]1155-the driver in his customary black suit standing next to the limo must know [Alan]246-alan . [I]2959-i hold [my]2959-i breath , nervous as [we]1163-we ride in silence . [We]1163-we get to the floor , and [I]2959-i tentatively follow [Alan]246-alan as [he]246-alan opens the door . “ [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles should n’t be long . [He]246-alan ’s still at [the office]385-new york . [His]246-alan call is going longer than [he]246-alan expected . ”[246-alan] “ Thank [you]246-alan . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ Can [I]2959-i get [you]246-alan anything else ? ”[2959-i] “ No , all good . ”[246-alan] With a courteous nod , [he]246-alan closes the door and leaves [me]2959-i alone . [I]2959-i turn to see the lamps strategically on , creating a breathtaking canvas to the view . The twinkling lights over [New York]385-new york are nothing short of spectacular . [I]2959-i take [my]2959-i phone out and snap some pictures . [I]2959-i could n’t be such a fangirl when [he]246-alan is [here]385-new york . [I]2959-i walk into [the bedroom]758-the bedroom and put [my]2959-i bag into [the empty walk - in closet]1168-the empty walk - in closet , and then [I]2959-i walk into [his]246-alan . Suits and business shirts are strategically lined up , and there are rows and rows of expensive polished shoes . [I]2959-i run [my]2959-i hand over the sleeves of the suits as [I]2959-i look around . [I]2959-i open the top drawer of the dresser , and [I]2959-i smile at [his]246-alan over - the - top organization . [His]246-alan ties are all rolled and displayed as if this is [[a luxury men]1169-a luxury men ’s boutique]1170-a luxury men ’s boutique . Watches . . . [I]2959-i count [them]1169-a luxury men . Ten expensive watches are lined up . And then [I]2959-i see something rolled up next to [his]246-alan watches . [My]2959-i heart stops when [I]2959-i see the initials . E.F. [My]2959-i scarf . [He]246-alan kept it . Not only did [he]246-alan keep it , but it ’s also with [his]246-alan special things . [I]2959-i pick it up and hold it in [my]2959-i hands as [I]2959-i stare at it . [My]2959-i eyes close , and [I]2959-i inhale deeply ; the faint smell of [my]2959-i perfume still lingers . [I]2959-i did n’t imagine it back then . [He]246-alan was right there with [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i smile broadly and put the scarf back where it was and carefully close the drawer . [I]2959-i do n’t know what to do with this information , but [I]2959-i ’m pretty damn pleased with [my]2959-i find . [My]2959-i heart is racing . [He]246-alan kept it . [I]2959-i walk through [the apartment]2627-the apartment as [I]2959-i look around . [I]2959-i run [my]2959-i hand over the heavy marble countertops in [the kitchen]683-the kitchen and smile at the sheer luxury of [the place]2627-the apartment . [I]2959-i wonder if [he]246-alan has eaten . [I]2959-i open the fridge , but it ’s surprisingly sparse . There is chicken and a few ingredients . [I]2959-i open [the pantry]683-the kitchen and find some other things . [I]2959-i glance at the wine fridge and frown — it ’s full . Of course it is . How often does [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles have a liquid dinner ? Hmm , [I]2959-i need to get a grip on this stress of [his]79-mr. miles . [I]2959-i pour [myself]2959-i a glass of wine , take out the ingredients , and look through the cupboards to find the pots and pans and chopping boards and knives . [I]2959-i search [Spotify]181-spotify on [my]2959-i phone and put on some chill music . [I]2959-i begin to chop the chicken with a huge goofy smile on [my]2959-i face . [He]246-alan kept [my]2959-i scarf . Forty - five minutes later , [I]2959-i hear the front door open . “ [Em]2848-em ? ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan calls . “ In [the kitchen]683-the kitchen . ”[246-alan] “ Hmm . . . something smells good . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan kisses [me]2959-i and wraps [his]246-alan arms around [me]2959-i from behind . “ What are [you]2959-i cooking ? ”[246-alan] “ Fuck bunny stew . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan laughs loudly , and it ’s a beautiful sound . It does things to [my]2959-i insides . “ Does [[your]2959-i mother]2345-your mother know [you]2959-i ’re [a cannibal]2851-a cannibal ? ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan kisses [my]2959-i cheek from behind . [I]2959-i giggle as [I]2959-i stir the pot . “ No , and do n’t tell [her]2345-your mother . ”[2959-i] “ [You]2959-i did n’t need to cook . [I]246-alan would have taken [you]2959-i out . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan pours [himself]246-alan a glass of wine . “ It ’s Monday . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ And ? ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan sips [his]246-alan wine . “ [You]2959-i do n’t go out to dinner on a school night . ”[246-alan] “ [I]246-alan go out every night . ”[246-alan] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ [You]2959-i eat out every night ? ”[2959-i] “ Yeah , of course . Why ? ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i mouth falls open , and [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i hand on [my]2959-i hip . “ [Jameson Miles]186-jameson , [you]2959-i have more money than sense . How do [you]2959-i relax if [you]2959-i go out to dinner every night ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]246-alan sit in [a restaurant]760-a restaurant and eat . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan shrugs . “ It ’s really quite easy . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes in disgust as [I]2959-i keep stirring . “ Are [you]2959-i hungry ? ”[2959-i] “ Starving . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan takes [me]2959-i in [his]246-alan arms and stares down at [me]2959-i . “ Did [you]2959-i really miss [me]246-alan over the weekend ? ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i go up onto [my]2959-i toes and kiss [his]246-alan big beautiful lips . “ [I]246-alan did , actually . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan holds [me]2959-i tight . “ This is where [you]2959-i tell [me]2959-i that [you]2959-i missed [me]2959-i too , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i mutter dryly into [his]246-alan shoulder . “ [I]2959-i do n’t miss [people]248-people . ”[2959-i] “ Ugh , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i huff as [I]2959-i pull out of [his]246-alan arms and go back to stirring the dinner . “ Can [you]2959-i go out of [the room]514-the room so [I]2959-i can drug [your]2959-i food now ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ [I]246-alan plan on robbing [[your]2959-i place]2786-your place . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan chuckles . “ Only if [you]2959-i promise to take advantage of [my]2959-i body while [I]2959-i ’m sleeping . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i giggle . “ Deal . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i dish up [our]1173-our dinner , and [we]1173-our take seats at the kitchen counter . [I]2959-i hold [my]2959-i breath as [he]246-alan takes [his]246-alan first bite . “ Hmm , delicious , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan hums . [I]2959-i smile proudly . “ A fuck bunny who cooks . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan smirks around a forkful of food . “ [I]246-alan love to cook . It ’s [my]246-alan hobby . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan frowns and watches [me]2959-i for a moment . “ [I]246-alan ’ve never met [anyone]272-anyone quite like [you]272-anyone , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[246-alan] “ Why ? ”[246-alan] “ [I]246-alan do n’t know . [I]246-alan ca n’t put [my]246-alan finger on it . [You]272-anyone ’re very . . . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan pauses as [he]246-alan thinks of the right word . “ Unaffected . ”[246-alan] “ Unaffected by what ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk as [I]2959-i eat . [He]246-alan shrugs . “ [New York]385-new york . ”[246-alan] “ [You]272-anyone ’ve never had [a girlfriend who cooked for [you]272-anyone before]2857-a girlfriend who cooked for you before ? ”[246-alan] “ [I]246-alan ’ve only ever had one serious relationship , and [she]1174-you was a workaholic like [me]246-alan . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan shrugs . “ [We]2858-we would both get [home]2289-home too late from work . Eating out was easier . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i wine as [I]2959-i stare at [him]246-alan . [I]2959-i would love to blurt out a million questions about [her]1174-you . . . but [I]2959-i wo n’t . [I]2959-i ’ll play it cool . [He]246-alan moves to get [his]246-alan wine , and [he]246-alan winces . “ What ’s wrong ? ”[246-alan] “ [My]246-alan back ’s tight . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan stands and twists [his]246-alan upper body to stretch . “ [Somebody]182-somebody insisted on [me]246-alan firing [my]246-alan masseuse . ”[246-alan] “ Oh , [her]1174-you , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i scoff . “ Do n’t ruin [my]246-alan night . [I]246-alan ’ll find [you]1174-you a new masseuse tomorrow . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan stretches some more . “ Please do . ”[246-alan] “ Why does [your]1174-you back get so tight ? ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan sits back down . “ When [I]246-alan get wound up , [my]246-alan back tightens . ”[246-alan] “ What else happens when [you]1174-you get wound up ? ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan chews [his]246-alan food as if contemplating [his]246-alan answer . “ [My]2959-i temper gets the best of [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile broadly . “ What ? ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan smirks . “ All this time [I]246-alan thought [you]1174-you were [an asshole]662-an asshole , when really [you]1174-you were just stressed out ? ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan chuckles . “ And what ’s [your]1174-you excuse for being [a bitch]2519-a bitch ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i wine . “ Nothing . [I]246-alan really am just [a bitch]2519-a bitch . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan holds [his]246-alan glass up to clink it with [mine]2959-i . [His]246-alan eyes have a tender glow to them . “ Thank [you]1174-you for dinner . It ’s delicious . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan leans over and kisses [me]2959-i . “ Like [you]1174-you . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i remember something . “ Oh , and [you]1174-you will be pleased to know , [I]2959-i brought [my]2959-i workout gear so [I]2959-i can come running in the morning . ”[2959-i] “ [You]1174-you did ? ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan asks in surprise . “ Uh - huh . ”[246-alan] “ [I]2959-i run fast . ”[2959-i] “ Good , because [I]246-alan walk slow . ”[246-alan] A few hours later [we]1175-we both laugh out loud into the darkness . “ [You]1174-you did not , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan says . [I]2959-i giggle . “ Uh - huh . ”[2959-i] It ’s late , and [we]1175-we are lying in bed , facing each other , and talking after making love . “ What on [earth]872-earth ? ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan rubs [his]246-alan hand up over [my]2959-i stomach and then breast as [he]246-alan listens . [His]246-alan face is alight with mischief . “ How ? ”[246-alan] “ Well . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i think for a moment . “ It was [[my]246-alan first car]2863-my first car , and [I]246-alan ’d only had it a week . [I]246-alan was driving with [[my]246-alan friend]2617-my friend , and the day was as hot as hell . [We]1175-we were on [our]1175-we way to buy some cheap jeans from a market , and the temperature gauge started overheating . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan smiles as [he]246-alan listens . “ [We]1175-we pulled into [a service station]2865-a service station , and [I]2959-i called [[my]2959-i dad]2617-my friend , and [he]2617-my friend told [me]2959-i to put oil in it . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . “ But [we]1175-we did n’t know where the oil went , so [we]1175-we assumed it went in the little hole that [you]2866-you measure it from . ”[2959-i] “ The dipstick ? ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan gasps in disbelief . “ How on earth did [you]2866-you get it in there ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i laugh . This is the most ridiculous story [I]2959-i ever heard of . “ [We]1176-we borrowed a funnel and then poured it in , and it overflowed everywhere . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shake [my]2959-i head as [I]2959-i remember it as clear as day . “ [We]1176-we thought it was fine and started driving , and then oil [we]1176-we ’d spilled on the engine caught on fire . ”[246-alan] [His]246-alan eyes widen . “ What happened ? ”[246-alan] “ [My]1176-we beloved [five - hundred - dollar car]2867-five - hundred - dollar car that [I]1176-we saved up for a year for was frigging totaled in just one week ; that ’s what happened . ”[1176-we] [We]1176-we both laugh and then eventually fall silent . [I]2959-i lean onto [my]2959-i elbow as [I]2959-i look over at [the gorgeous naked man beside [me]2959-i]76-woman . “ [You]76-woman must have done something stupid in [your]76-woman life , [Jameson Miles]186-jameson . ”[76-woman] [He]76-woman smiles softly over at [me]2959-i in the darkness . “ Yeah . [I]76-woman have . ”[76-woman] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk . [He]76-woman reaches over and cups [my]2959-i face in [his]76-woman hand , and [his]76-woman thumb dusts over [my]2959-i bottom lip . “ [I]76-woman never asked for [your]76-woman number . ”[76-woman] Chapter 14 “ Will [you]76-woman hurry up , [woman]76-woman ? ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson calls from [his]76-woman running position up in front . [I]2959-i ’m panting for dear life as [I]2959-i try to keep up . Oh hell , [he]76-woman ’s trying to kill [me]2959-i . “ What ’s the rush ? ”[76-woman] [He]76-woman turns around and runs back to [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i watch [him]76-woman . “ [God]0-aaron , [you]0-aaron ’re so perky and energetic in the morning . ”[76-woman] [He]76-woman laughs and sprints off as [I]2959-i keep shuffling along . [I]2959-i watch [him]76-woman do a loop so that [he]76-woman can still see [me]2959-i , and then [he]76-woman sprints back . “ How do [you]0-aaron run so fast ? ”[76-woman] [He]76-woman jogs backward in front of [me]2959-i as [we]1178-we talk . “ Well , what [I]76-woman do is [I]76-woman imagine [someone]2326-someone is chasing [me]76-woman with an ax . ”[76-woman] [He]76-woman ’s hardly even out of breath . “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ Are [you]0-aaron kidding [me]76-woman ? ”[76-woman] [He]76-woman shakes [his]76-woman head with a cheeky grin . “ [Your]0-aaron relaxation tool is to imagine [someone]2326-someone is chasing [you]0-aaron with a fucking ax . ”[76-woman] [He]76-woman laughs as [he]76-woman jogs backward . “ It works . [I]76-woman run much faster that way . ”[76-woman] “ This is all making sense now , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i puff . “ The puzzle is falling into place here . ”[2959-i] “ What puzzle ? ”[76-woman] “ [Your]0-aaron back is tight because [[your]0-aaron masseuse]2869-your masseuse continually puts it out so [she]2869-your masseuse can fuck [you]0-aaron again . ”[76-woman] [He]76-woman grins . “ [Your]0-aaron relaxation exercise is to be chased by [an ax murderer]2870-an ax murderer . ”[76-woman] [He]76-woman laughs . “ And [you]0-aaron go out seven nights a week . No wonder [you]0-aaron ’re stressed out , [[you]0-aaron crazy bastard]0-aaron . ”[76-woman] [He]76-woman pulls [me]2959-i to [him]76-woman by [my]2959-i T - shirt and kisses [me]2959-i on the lips . “ Lucky [I]76-woman have [you]0-aaron to fuck [me]76-woman calm , then , is n’t it ? ”[76-woman] “ Damn straight , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pant . [We]1179-we need to stop talking . [I]2959-i ca n’t run and talk at the same time . What kind of [Olympic athlete]1180-olympic athlete does [he]1180-olympic athlete think [I]2959-i am ? “ What exercise would [you]0-aaron recommend [I]76-woman do ? For relaxing , [I]76-woman mean , ”[76-woman] [he]76-woman asks as [he]76-woman falls in to jog beside [me]2959-i slowly . [I]2959-i think for a moment . “ Aqua aerobics . ”[2959-i] “ Ha . ”[76-woman] [He]76-woman laughs . “ [I]76-woman ’m not that old . ”[76-woman] “ [You]76-woman ’re pretty old , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pant . “ Do [you]76-woman want to race [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] “ No . ”[76-woman] “ Why not ? ”[76-woman] “ Because [that murderer]2871-that murderer has [his]2871-that murderer ax in [my]76-woman lungs , and [I]76-woman ’m about to die at any second . [I]76-woman hope [you]76-woman know resuscitation . ”[76-woman] [He]76-woman chuckles . “ [Wimp]183-wimp . ”[76-woman] [He]76-woman takes off at high speed , and [I]2959-i shuffle along and smile as [I]2959-i watch [him]76-woman loop [Central Park]17-central park as [he]76-woman always keeps [me]2959-i in sight . [Jameson Miles]186-jameson is extremely fit . . . and extremely hot . And luckily for [me]2959-i , [I]2959-i ’m [his]76-woman fuck bunny . [I]2959-i stand in [the foyer]670-the foyer as [I]2959-i wait for [Ava]77-ava and [Molly]198-molly . [We]1182-we ’re just going on [our]1182-we lunch break , and [Molly]198-molly is talking to [one of [the security guards]1184-the security guards]1183-one of the security guards . [I]2959-i think [she]198-molly ’s a little sweet on [him]76-woman . “ [You]93-jeez coming out this weekend ? ”[198-molly] [Ava]77-ava asks . “ Um , [I]93-jeez ’m not sure what [I]93-jeez ’m doing yet . [I]93-jeez might be going [home]2289-home . ”[93-jeez] [Jeez]93-jeez , [I]2959-i do n’t really want to go out with [her]198-molly again . [She]198-molly ’s only interested in [men]330-men if [they]330-men have money . That ’s just so left field for [me]2959-i that [I]2959-i ca n’t deal with it . One of [the elevators]1186-the elevators opens , and [Tristan]2430-tristan steps out and then [Jameson]186-jameson . [They]330-men have [two other men with [them]330-men]1187-two other men with them . Wearing a navy suit and a crisp white shirt , [he]186-jameson is the epitome of [gorgeous man]246-alan . Dark hair , square jaw , and those piercing blue eyes . It ’s hard to believe that just six hours ago , [he]186-jameson was deep inside [my]2959-i body in the shower . [He]186-jameson took [me]2959-i twice when [we]1189-we got [home]2289-home from [our]1189-we run this morning . [The man]246-alan ’s an animal . [His]246-alan dick is out of [this world]1191-this world . [I]2959-i ’ve died and gone to [CEO heaven]186-jameson . “ Oh [my]77-ava God , ”[77-ava] [Ava]77-ava whispers . “ Look who ’s coming . ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson is deep in conversation with [the men]378-the men as [the four of [them]378-the men]378-the men stride through [the crowded foyer]1193-the crowded foyer . [Everyone]2304-everyone stops and stares . [I]2959-i stand still as [he]246-alan walks past , and at the last moment [he]246-alan glances up and catches sight of [me]2959-i . [His]246-alan step falters , and [I]2959-i give [him]246-alan a subtle shake of [my]2959-i head . [I]2959-i do n’t want [anyone]272-anyone to know about [us]1196-they . [He]246-alan nods once as if in understanding and keeps walking as [he]246-alan falls back into [his]246-alan conversation . [We]1196-they watch as [they]1196-they leave through the front doors and disappear up [the street]550-the street . [They]1196-they must be going out for lunch . “ Seriously , where do [we]1196-they find [[men]330-men like [the Miles brothers]824-the miles brothers]2874-men like the miles brothers ? ”[77-ava] [Ava]77-ava sighs . “ Right ? ”[77-ava] [I]2959-i watch [the street]550-the street [they]1196-they disappeared up . “ One of these days , ”[77-ava] [she]77-ava whispers . “ One of these days . ”[77-ava] [I]2959-i wonder if [Jameson]186-jameson had a long and boozy lunch , and more importantly , did [he]186-jameson bring back cake ? It ’s getting to that time of the day where [my]2959-i mind is fixed firmly on something sweet to have with [my]2959-i coffee . “ Hi , [Emily]186-jameson , have [you]186-jameson got [your]186-jameson stories [we]2876-we are running with tomorrow ? ”[266-jim] [Hayden]266-jim asks . [I]2959-i smile up at [him]266-jim . Hmm . “ [I]2959-i did n’t think [they]1196-they were due until four , and it ’s only three . ”[2959-i] [Hayden]266-jim is [the person who [I]2959-i turn the news in to]266-jim , and [he]266-jim then passes [them]1196-they on to [the next stage]1198-the next stage . “ [I]266-jim know , but [I]266-jim like to get a head start , ”[266-jim] [he]266-jim says casually . [Head]184-head start on what ? Is [he]266-jim the one selling the stories ? Is that why [he]266-jim wants [them]1196-they early , so [he]266-jim can get [them]1196-they off to the highest bidder ? “ [They]1196-they ’re not ready yet . ”[266-jim] “ Okay , cool . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim smiles . “ Email them over as soon as [you]266-jim get [them]1196-they sorted . ”[266-jim] [My]2959-i eyes hold [his]266-jim . “ Sure . ”[266-jim] [I]2959-i watch [him]266-jim walk back to [his]266-jim desk and fall into conversation with [the person who sits next to [him]266-jim]1199-the person who sits next to him . [I]2959-i ’m watching [you]266-jim , [asshole]2756-asshole . [I]2959-i look around [the office]385-new york with renewed determination . [I]2959-i ’m watching all of [you]266-jim . [Every single one]1202-every single one . It ’s just now four , and [I]2959-i email [Jameson]186-jameson . Hi , [I]2959-i booked [you]266-jim a massage with a physio . [They]1203-they will be at [your]266-jim place at seven . Hope this suits [your]266-jim plans . FB xoxoxo A few moments later , a reply bounces back . [Dear FB]185-fb , Please define “ [they]1203-they . ”[185-fb] J xx [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . [I]2959-i knew this was coming . [Dear Mr. J]127-j , [They]1204-they . . . aka . . . [male physiotherapist professional , nonsexual - act - performing masseuse]1205-male physiotherapist professional , nonsexual - act - performing masseuse . Specializes in back treatment and hella expensive . FB xoxoxo [I]2959-i wait for a few moments , and a reply bounces back . FB , Fine , can [you]266-jim let them into [[my]2959-i apartment]766-my apartment , please ? [I]2959-i ’ll have [Alan]246-alan pick [you]266-jim up at seven . [I]2959-i ’ll meet [you]266-jim there , maybe fifteen minutes late . [J xox]127-j [I]2959-i smile broadly as hope blooms in [my]2959-i chest . [I]2959-i write back . Are [we]1207-we seeing each other tonight ? [He]246-alan replies . Yes . [I]2959-i ’m away for the week next week , therefore , [I]2959-i ’m taking next week ’s meetings too . See [you]266-jim tonight . [Jay]108-jay xox [I]2959-i probably should play a little hard to get and pretend [I]2959-i have something going on . . . but [I]2959-i just do n’t have it in [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i email back . [Jay]108-jay , [I]2959-i ’ll make dinner . What do [you]266-jim want ? FB xoxo A reply bounces back . The only thing [I]2959-i want to eat tonight is [you]266-jim . Now get back to work before [I]2959-i bend [you]266-jim over [your]266-jim desk . xox [I]2959-i smirk as [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i face flush , and [I]2959-i click out of [my]2959-i emails . [He]108-jay is undoubtedly [the hottest man on [earth]872-earth]108-jay . [I]2959-i feel like [a master chef in [[Jameson]186-jameson ’s fancy kitchen]1210-jameson ’s fancy kitchen]1209-a master chef in jameson ’s fancy kitchen . It ’s just now seven , and [I]2959-i turn the gas on and lift the pot of water onto it . [I]2959-i like having dinner ready for [him]108-jay . [I]2959-i know [he]108-jay ’s never had it , so it feels special to do it for [him]108-jay . The security buzzer sounds , and [I]2959-i look around . Shit . Where ’s the intercom ? [I]2959-i see a phone and screen near the front door . [I]2959-i pick up . “ Hello ? ”[2959-i] “ Hello , this is [Matthew]139-matthew , [the physio]139-matthew . [I]2959-i ’m [here]385-new york for a massage therapy session . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i stare at the screen . [Matthew]139-matthew is good looking , has the whole Scandinavian thing going on . “ Come up . ”[139-matthew] [I]2959-i push the button and release the door for [him]139-matthew , and [he]139-matthew disappears into [the elevator]375-the elevator . Moments later , [he]139-matthew knocks on the door . “ Hello . ”[139-matthew] [I]2959-i smile . “ Hi . ”[139-matthew] [He]139-matthew walks in wearing a white uniform and carrying a fold - up massage bed . Wow . . . [Matthew]139-matthew is really hot . Maybe [I]2959-i should get a massage too ? “ Where do [you]2959-i want [me]139-matthew to set up ? ”[139-matthew] [he]139-matthew asks . “ Umm . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i look around . Where do [I]2959-i want [him]139-matthew to set up ? “ Just hang on a minute . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i walk down [the hallway]611-the hall and peer into [the rooms]611-the hall . There ’s [a room]514-the room at the end with a treadmill and weight bench . “ Just down here at the end , please . ”[139-matthew] [He]139-matthew saunters down with [his]139-matthew sexy walk and begins to set up . Suddenly [I]2959-i ’m reminded that this is the exact scenario that [Jameson]186-jameson had with [Chloe]135-chloe . . . only [they]1214-they really did have sex . [My]2959-i stomach rolls at the thought . Stop it . “ [I]2959-i ’ll be out here if [you]2959-i need [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i walk nervously back out into [the kitchen]683-the kitchen . Shit , is it safe to leave [him]139-matthew down there alone ? Should [I]2959-i be watching [him]139-matthew or something ? [I]2959-i peer back down [the hall]611-the hall to make sure [he]139-matthew does n’t come out of [that room]514-the room and snoop around . Oh , damn it , what ’s the protocol with [strangers]2736-strangers in a place like this ? The front door clicks , and [Jameson]186-jameson comes into view . “ Hello , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson says flatly . [I]2959-i smile . “ Hi . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i wrap [my]2959-i arms around [him]186-jameson . “ How ’s [[my]2959-i man]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] “ Fine . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson brushes past [me]2959-i in a rush . Oh . [I]2959-i frown . That ’s not the greeting [I]2959-i was hoping for . “ Is [he]186-jameson [here]385-new york yet ? ”[2959-i] “ Yes , in [the room]514-the room down at the end . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i ’ll just have a quick shower . Can [you]2959-i tell [him]186-jameson [I]2959-i ’ll be five minutes , please ? ”[2959-i] “ Sure . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson disappears into [the bedroom]683-the kitchen , and [I]2959-i walk back down [the hall]611-the hall . “ [Jameson]186-jameson is just taking a quick shower . [He]186-jameson will only be a few minutes . ”[2959-i] “ Okay , thanks . ”[139-matthew] [Matthew]139-matthew smiles . [I]2959-i walk back out into [the kitchen]683-the kitchen and stir the vegetables [I]2959-i have cooking . Maybe [I]2959-i should have stayed at [[my]2959-i place]2742-my place tonight . [He]186-jameson did n’t seem too pleased to see [me]2959-i . Ten minutes later warm hands come around [my]2959-i waist from behind , and [Jameson]186-jameson ’s lips find [my]2959-i temple . “ Hey , [babe]2959-i , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers softly . [I]2959-i turn to find [him]186-jameson with a white towel around [his]186-jameson waist . “ Everything all right ? ”[2959-i] “ Yeah , [I]186-jameson ’m just really tired . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson exhales heavily . “ The last thing [I]186-jameson feel like is a fucking massage , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers as [he]186-jameson holds [his]186-jameson cheek to [mine]2959-i . “ [You]186-jameson ’ll feel much better after it , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say . “ Massage , dinner , and bed . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson rolls [his]186-jameson eyes and trudges up [the hall]611-the hall . [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i listen . Every time [Jameson]186-jameson inhales , [he]186-jameson gives a slight snore . [I]2959-i ’m sitting on the couch in [my]2959-i pajamas watching a movie , and [he]186-jameson ’s lying with [his]186-jameson head on [my]2959-i lap , fast asleep . This feels strangely . . . normal . [He]186-jameson was n’t joking when [he]186-jameson said [he]186-jameson was tired . [He]186-jameson ’s more than tired — [he]186-jameson ’s exhausted . [I]2959-i think it ’s more mental exhaustion than physical , and [I]2959-i ca n’t imagine what [he]186-jameson deals with at work every day . [He]186-jameson ’s had the pressure of running [Miles Media]68-miles media from such a young age . Even in [his]186-jameson youth , [he]186-jameson would have been coached for this role . But [Jameson Miles the CEO]186-jameson is a mere mortal , and [I]2959-i feel a protective urge roll over [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i mindlessly run [my]2959-i fingers through [his]186-jameson hair and enjoy this close time with [him]186-jameson . [I]2959-i do n’t imagine [many people]1221-many people see [him]186-jameson so relaxed . “ [Jay]108-jay , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper softly . [He]186-jameson frowns in [his]186-jameson sleep . “ [Jay]108-jay , bedtime , [baby]108-jay , ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i whisper . [He]186-jameson inhales as [he]186-jameson stretches and blinks , as if not knowing where [he]186-jameson is . [I]2959-i run [my]2959-i fingers through [his]186-jameson hair . “ Bedtime . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile softly . [I]2959-i get up and turn off the lights and the television , and then [he]186-jameson takes [my]2959-i hand and leads [me]2959-i down [the hall]611-the hall to [[his]186-jameson bedroom]758-the bedroom . [He]186-jameson brushes [his]186-jameson teeth and gets into bed . A few moments later , once [I]2959-i ’m ready , [I]2959-i climb into bed beside [him]186-jameson , and [he]186-jameson pulls [me]2959-i into [his]186-jameson arms . “ Good night , [sweetheart]186-jameson , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers as [he]186-jameson kisses [my]2959-i forehead . [We]1224-we lie cheek to cheek . There ’s a closeness between [us]1224-we that [I]2959-i have n’t felt before . “ Good night . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snuggle against [his]186-jameson chest . This night has been nonsexual . . . and normal . . . and weirdly intimate . [I]2959-i may be addicted . [I]2959-i wake to the feeling of strong hands holding [my]2959-i inner thighs apart . [Jameson]186-jameson ’s head is between [my]2959-i legs , and [his]186-jameson thick tongue swipes through [my]2959-i sex . [My]2959-i head throws back , and [my]2959-i hands go to the back of [his]186-jameson head . [My]2959-i body is pumping with arousal , so [I]2959-i know [he]186-jameson ’s been at it awhile . “ Oh God , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i moan . “ Good morning , [Jay]108-jay . ”[2959-i] [He]186-jameson turns [his]186-jameson head and kisses [my]2959-i inner thigh . “ Morning . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson bites [my]2959-i clitoris , and [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes . Good God . [He]186-jameson ’s awake now and in all [his]186-jameson glory . [He]186-jameson continues to suck as waves of pleasure start to pulse through [me]2959-i . [He]186-jameson pushes three thick fingers aggressively into [my]2959-i sex , and [I]2959-i wince . This is [Jameson]186-jameson ’s specialty — finger fucking [me]2959-i with such force that [I]2959-i orgasm before [we]1225-we even have sex . [I]2959-i ’ve never been with [a man who can pleasure [me]2959-i in so many different ways]2829-my man . [He]186-jameson begins to ride [me]2959-i , [his]186-jameson whole hand centered on the task . [My]2959-i legs are back to the mattress , and [God]0-aaron . “ Oh God . . . so good , ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i breathe . The sound of [my]2959-i wet arousal echoes through [the silent room]1227-the silent room as [he]186-jameson works [me]2959-i . [This man]2829-my man is insane . Ten minutes ago [I]2959-i was dead asleep . [He]2829-my man bends and nips [my]2959-i clitoris , and [I]2959-i convulse as [I]2959-i come in a rush . [My]2959-i body lurches forward , and [he]2829-my man pushes [me]2959-i back down . “ Shh , ”[2829-my man] [he]2829-my man whispers as [he]2829-my man calms [me]2959-i . “ Again , ”[2829-my man] [he]2829-my man chants as [his]2829-my man eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ No . ”[2829-my man] [I]2959-i sit up in a rush and grab [his]2829-my man shoulder and pull [him]2829-my man up over [me]2959-i . [We]1228-we kiss as [we]1228-we fall back to the mattress , and [my]2959-i leg wraps around [his]2829-my man waist . Hell , what a way to wake up . [Our]1228-we kiss turns frantic , and [I]2959-i feel [his]2829-my man cock nudge [my]2959-i opening , and then [he]2829-my man pauses . “ It ’s okay . [I]2829-my man ’m on the pill , ”[2829-my man] [I]2959-i breathe as [I]2959-i hold [his]2829-my man face to [mine]2959-i . [He]2829-my man closes [his]2829-my man eyes for a split second , and then , as if unable to relax without a condom , [he]2829-my man drags [himself]2829-my man off [me]2959-i and goes to the bedside . [I]2959-i watch as [he]2829-my man tears one open and rolls it on . Then [he]2829-my man ’s back on [me]2959-i . [He]2829-my man slides [home]2289-home deep in one swift movement . [I]2959-i cry out as [my]2959-i sex begins to spasm around [his]2829-my man thick muscle . “ Hold it , ”[2829-my man] [he]2829-my man growls . Fuck . . . how are [you]1230-you supposed to hold it ? Like that ’s a thing . [He]2829-my man looks down at [me]2959-i . [His]2829-my man olive skin has a sheen of perspiration , [his]2829-my man blue eyes are beaming , and [I]2959-i smile in wonder at the perfect specimen in front of [me]2959-i . . . inside [me]2959-i . [He]2829-my man widens [his]2829-my man legs and goes up unto [his]2829-my man knees and then lifts [my]2959-i legs in front of [him]2829-my man by [my]2959-i ankles and begins to pump [me]2959-i — thick , heavy hits — and [his]2829-my man jaw hangs slack as [he]2829-my man watches the place [our]1231-our bodies meet . [I]2959-i can see every muscle in [his]2829-my man torso contract as [he]2829-my man pushes forward . Goddamn . . . watching [Jameson Miles]186-jameson fuck is [the world]249-the world ’s best porn . [He]2829-my man picks up the pace , and [his]2829-my man body goes into overdrive . [I]2959-i scrunch the blankets beneath [me]2959-i as [I]2959-i feel [myself]2959-i build . The sound of [our]1231-our bodies slapping together echoes through [the room]514-the room . [His]2829-my man eyes close in ecstasy , and [he]2829-my man moans as [his]2829-my man body really goes to [town]2456-town . “ [I]2829-my man ’m close , ”[2829-my man] [I]2959-i whimper . “ Hold it , ”[2829-my man] [he]2829-my man barks as [he]2829-my man pumps . “ [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[2829-my man] [He]2829-my man grabs [my]2959-i legs and puts them to one side and together , and [his]2829-my man eyes flicker with arousal as [his]2829-my man pumps become slow and measured . Oh . . . [[my]2959-i man]2829-my man likes it tight . [I]2959-i clench down , and [his]2829-my man head throws back . [I]2959-i clench again , and [he]2829-my man ca n’t hold it . [He]2829-my man holds [himself]2829-my man deep , and [I]2959-i feel the telling jerk as [he]2829-my man comes deep inside [my]2959-i body . [He]2829-my man empties [himself]2829-my man , and then , knowing [I]2959-i ca n’t come in that position , rises over [me]2959-i and kisses [me]2959-i as [we]1235-we fall tender . This is what [I]2959-i love . . . this is [my]2959-i favorite kind of sex with [him]2829-my man . Gentle , tender lovemaking . [He]2829-my man holds [himself]2829-my man up onto [his]2829-my man elbows and kisses [me]2959-i as [his]2829-my man body gives [me]2959-i exactly what [I]2959-i need . [Him]2829-my man . . . [I]2959-i need all of [him]2829-my man . [Our]1235-we eyes are locked as something so beautiful runs between [us]1235-we . [His]2829-my man kiss is tender , but it ’s the look in [his]2829-my man eyes that ’s turning [me]2959-i inside out . [We]1235-we ’re falling for each other . This is not casual sex ; this is n’t even sex . This is the ultimate lovemaking . “ [Jay]108-jay , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pant as [my]2959-i eyes search [his]2829-my man . “ [I]2829-my man know , [baby]108-jay , ”[2829-my man] [he]2829-my man whispers . [I]2959-i grip [his]2829-my man shoulders , and [he]2829-my man holds [himself]2829-my man deep , and [my]2959-i body contracts around [his]2829-my man . [His]2829-my man lips take [mine]2959-i , and [our]1235-we kiss is slow and unhurried and everything [I]2959-i ’ve never had . [He]2829-my man slowly finishes [me]2959-i and then drops to the mattress beside [me]2959-i and rolls [me]2959-i to face [him]2829-my man . [We]1235-we look at each other , and [I]2959-i ’m overwhelmed with a feeling of closeness . [I]2959-i stare at [his]2829-my man beautiful face , and [I]2959-i smile softly . “ [I]2959-i feel like — ”[2959-i] “ Do n’t . ”[2829-my man] [He]2829-my man cuts [me]2959-i off . “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ Do n’t ruin this . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ’m at a loss by what [he]2829-my man means . “ How would [I]2959-i ruin this ? ”[2959-i] “ Do n’t fall in love with [me]2829-my man , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[2829-my man] What the hell ? [I]2959-i stare at [him]2829-my man . “ Why not ? ”[2959-i] “ Because [we]2879-we ’re not like that . Get that through [your]186-jameson head . Right now . ”[2829-my man] [He]2829-my man gets up in a rush and walks into [the bathroom]300-the bathroom and closes the door . It shuts with a sharp snap . [I]2959-i roll onto [my]2959-i back and stare at the ceiling . [I]2959-i was going to say that [I]2959-i felt like that was the best alarm clock of all time . Love was just an afterthought . Chapter 15 [I]2959-i get out of bed and storm into [the bathroom]300-the bathroom . [I]2959-i find [him]2829-my man under the shower . “ For the record , [Jameson]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap , “ [I]2829-my man was going to tell [you]186-jameson that [you]186-jameson should wake [me]2829-my man up like that every day . ”[2829-my man] [He]2829-my man narrows [his]2829-my man eyes in anger . “ It seems to [me]2829-my man that [the only person who ’s thinking about love around here]2880-the only person who ’s thinking about love around here is [you]186-jameson . ”[2829-my man] [He]2829-my man rolls [his]2829-my man eyes as [he]2829-my man soaps [his]2829-my man groin . [His]2829-my man eye - rolling infuriates [me]2959-i . “ So do n’t turn this around and push [me]2829-my man away because [you]186-jameson are falling in love with [me]2829-my man ! ”[2829-my man] [I]2959-i do n’t know what to say next , so [I]2959-i storm out . [I]2959-i grab [my]2959-i bag and head down to one of [the other bathrooms]1237-the other bathrooms to shower . [I]2959-i ’m not getting in with [him]2829-my man . Stupid jerk . Half an hour later , [I]2959-i walk out into [the kitchen]758-the bedroom to see [Mr. Miles the CEO]79-mr. miles — gray suit , white shirt , and cranky controlled persona firmly back in place . “ Are [you]186-jameson ready ? ”[79-mr. miles] “ Ah . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look around . “ [I]2959-i ’ll just get [my]2959-i things . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i go into [the bedroom]758-the bedroom and glance at [myself]2959-i in the mirror . [I]2959-i ’m wearing [his]2829-my man favorite outfit today , and [he]2829-my man did n’t even notice . Well . . . poof to [him]2829-my man . [Damn control freak]1239-damn control freak is pissing [me]2959-i off . [I]2959-i walk back out with [my]2959-i overnight bag over [my]2959-i shoulder . “ Let ’s go . ”[2829-my man] [His]2829-my man brow furrows when [he]2829-my man sees what [I]2959-i ’m carrying . “ What are [you]2829-my man doing with that bag ? Just get it later . ”[2829-my man] “ [I]2829-my man ’ll take it to work with [me]2829-my man . That ’s fine . ”[2829-my man] [My]2959-i eyes hold [his]2829-my man . “ [I]2829-my man have a lot going on this week . ”[2829-my man] [His]2829-my man jaw clenches as [he]2829-my man glares at [me]2959-i . “ Good . ”[2829-my man] [He]2829-my man turns and walks out , and [I]2959-i smirk . [I]2959-i let [you]1240-you have the control for the last few days , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles , but do n’t misjudge [my]2959-i submission as a weakness . [I]2959-i will not beg for [any man to love [me]2959-i]1241-any man to love me , [CEO billionaire with blue eyes or not]1242-ceo billionaire with blue eyes or not . Do n’t wreck it . [I]2959-i know [I]2959-i told [him]1242-ceo billionaire with blue eyes or not [I]2959-i want [friends]394-friends with benefits . . . but the rules have changed . For [me]2959-i , anyway . [We]1244-we get into [the elevator]375-the elevator , and [I]2959-i stare straight ahead . [I]2959-i can feel the animosity oozing out of [him]1242-ceo billionaire with blue eyes or not . Part of [me]2959-i hates that [I]2959-i ’m letting [him]1242-ceo billionaire with blue eyes or not get worked up before [he]1242-ceo billionaire with blue eyes or not even starts for the day , but screw it . [I]2959-i ca n’t spend [my]2959-i life tiptoeing around [his]1242-ceo billionaire with blue eyes or not stress levels . [We]1244-we walk out through [the foyer]678-the limo , and [the limo]678-the limo is parked and waiting . [Alan]246-alan is standing next to the door . “ Hello , [Alan]246-alan . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i smile as [we]1244-we approach as if [I]2959-i do n’t have a care in [the world]249-the world . [Alan]246-alan smiles and nods in acknowledgment . [Jameson]186-jameson stays silent . [He]186-jameson holds [his]186-jameson hand out for [me]2959-i to get in first . [I]2959-i climb in and shuffle over the seat , and [Jameson]186-jameson gets in beside [me]2959-i . A folded newspaper sits on the seat , and [I]2959-i pick it up and begin to read . [Jameson]186-jameson stares at [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i know it ’s [his]186-jameson paper . Well , too bad — [I]2959-i got it first . For ten minutes , [I]2959-i read in silence . There is none of [my]2959-i fake news today . Hmm . [I]2959-i wonder if this has a correlation to [me]2959-i not having it to [Hayden]266-jim by four yesterday . [I]2959-i think about it for a moment . [I]2959-i ’m going to test this theory today . [I]2959-i ’ll have a story to [him]266-jim by three and see what happens . “ What are [you]266-jim doing tonight ? ”[266-jim] [he]266-jim asks . “ [I]2959-i ’m going out with [Ava]77-ava , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i lie as [I]2959-i pass the paper to [him]266-jim . “ [I]2959-i told [you]266-jim [I]2959-i did n’t want [you]266-jim going clubbing with [her]77-ava . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . The nerve of this control freak . “ What [I]2959-i do when [I]2959-i ’m not with [you]266-jim is none of [your]266-jim business , [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ So now [you]266-jim ’re going to be all dramatic ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . “ Will [you]266-jim just stop . ”[2959-i] “ Stop what ? ”[266-jim] [My]2959-i eyes hold [his]266-jim . “ [I]2959-i ’m not in love with [you]266-jim . So . . . [you]266-jim can stop worrying that [I]2959-i am . [I]2959-i enjoy [your]266-jim company , but [you]266-jim obviously have a hang - up about someone caring for [you]266-jim and mistake it for love . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . “ It ’s all a bit too hard , to be honest . ”[266-jim] [His]266-jim jaw clenches , and [I]2959-i know [he]266-jim ’s fuming on the inside . “ What does that mean ? ”[266-jim] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ That it ’s too hard . ”[2959-i] “ It means go and find [someone else]433-someone else not to fall in love with [you]266-jim . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . “ [I]2959-i ’m fine with that . ”[2959-i] “ [You]266-jim ’re fine with that ? ”[266-jim] [he]266-jim whispers angrily . “ So if [I]2959-i went and had sex with [someone else]433-someone else tonight , [you]266-jim ’d be fine with that ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i stare at [him]266-jim . What the hell is going on in that head of [his]266-jim ? [I]2959-i drag [my]2959-i hand down [my]2959-i face . “ [Jameson]186-jameson , for fuck ’s sake . What do [you]266-jim want from [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]266-jim do n’t know , ”[266-jim] [he]266-jim snaps . “ Fine . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i blow out a deep breath . “ Let ’s leave it at that , then . ”[2959-i] “ What does that mean ? ”[2959-i] “ [My]2959-i God , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap in exasperation . “ For [a smart man]2883-a smart man , [you]2883-a smart man ’re being really stupid . [I]266-jim ca n’t help [you]2883-a smart man work out what [you]2883-a smart man want from [me]266-jim , [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim stares at [me]2959-i . “ One minute [you]2883-a smart man ’re telling [me]266-jim not to ruin it by falling in love with [you]2883-a smart man , and the next minute [you]2883-a smart man ’re telling [me]266-jim [you]2883-a smart man do n’t want [me]266-jim going out without [you]2883-a smart man . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim sits back in [his]266-jim seat , affronted . “ [I]266-jim want [a close friend]2884-a close friend to have sex with . [We]2885-we talked about this . It seems to [me]266-jim that [the only person breaking the rules here]2886-the only person breaking the rules here is [you]2883-a smart man . Why are [you]2883-a smart man even thinking about love ? ”[266-jim] “ Do n’t turn this on [me]266-jim , ”[266-jim] [he]266-jim whispers angrily . “ All right , then , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ Can [you]2883-a smart man look [me]266-jim in the eye and tell [me]266-jim that [you]2883-a smart man have no feelings for [me]266-jim ? ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim rolls [his]266-jim eyes in disgust . “ Can [you]2883-a smart man ? ”[266-jim] “ Of course [I]2959-i can . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look [him]266-jim straight in the eye . “ Do it , then . ”[2959-i] “ What ? ”[266-jim] “ Tell [me]266-jim that [you]2883-a smart man do n’t have feelings for [me]266-jim . Tell [me]266-jim [you]2883-a smart man have never thought of [me]266-jim once over the last year and that [you]2883-a smart man never kept [my]266-jim scarf . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim narrows [his]266-jim eyes in anger . “ Like [I]2959-i thought , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i huff as [I]2959-i turn [my]2959-i attention back out the window . “ [I]266-jim wondered how long it would be until [that snarky bitch]2887-that snarky bitch reared [her]2887-that snarky bitch ugly head , ”[266-jim] [he]266-jim mutters under [his]266-jim breath . “ [Ha]163-ha , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i huff . “ At least [that bitch]2887-that snarky bitch knows what [she]2887-that snarky bitch wants . ”[2959-i] “ And what ’s that ? ”[266-jim] [he]266-jim sneers . “ [A man]2300-a man ; that ’s what [she]2887-that snarky bitch wants — one who is n’t afraid of [his]266-jim feelings . ”[266-jim] “ Go to hell , ”[266-jim] [he]266-jim whispers . “ Just stop talking . [You]2300-a man ’re stressing [me]2959-i the fuck out with all [your]2300-a man shit . If [I]2959-i wanted [a psychiatrist]2889-a psychiatrist , [I]2959-i would date one . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk as [I]2959-i look out the window . “ [We]2890-we ’re not dating , [Jameson]186-jameson . [We]2890-we ’re just fucking . Get it right . ”[2959-i] “ [You]2300-a man go out with [Ava]77-ava trolling for [men]330-men tonight , and [we]2890-we wo n’t even be doing that . ”[2959-i] “ Excuse [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap as [my]2959-i anger starts to simmer . “ [You]2300-a man ca n’t tell [me]2959-i what to do . ”[2959-i] [His]2959-i eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ [I]2959-i can . And [I]2959-i just did . ”[2959-i] “ [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pause as [I]2959-i try to think of a calm and intelligent reply . “ [I]2959-i would never sleep with someone behind [your]2300-a man back — [you]2300-a man know that . But [you]2300-a man ca n’t tell [me]2959-i where [I]2959-i ’m allowed to go . Even if [you]2300-a man loved [me]2959-i , which [you]2300-a man do n’t , [I]2959-i would n’t allow [you]2300-a man to dictate what [I]2959-i can do . ”[2959-i] “ [I]369-the car mean it . ”[369-the car] “ Go to hell . ”[2959-i] [The car]369-the car pulls up around the corner at [my]2959-i spot where [I]2959-i get out , and [I]2959-i open the door in a rush . “ [I]369-the car ’ll see [you]2300-a man tonight , ”[369-the car] [he]369-the car snaps as [I]2959-i climb out . [I]2959-i lean back into [the car]369-the car . “ Yeah , wait for [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i ’ll be there when hell freezes over . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i slam the door in a rush . [The limo]678-the limo pulls out and slowly drives down [the road]533-the road toward [the Miles Media building]521-the miles media building , and [I]2959-i inhale to try to calm [my]2959-i furiously beating heart . [Stupid fucking jerk]1252-stupid fucking jerk . “ Wonder what this is about ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly frowns as [she]198-molly reads the news from [her]198-molly computer . “ What what ’s about ? ”[198-molly] [I]2959-i reply as [I]2959-i type . “ It says here that [Miles Media]14-miles media is having crisis meetings today with [shareholders]2892-shareholders and that more meetings are scheduled in [London]6-london next week . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i heart drops ; [Jameson]186-jameson ’s going to [London]6-london next week . “ What ? ”[186-jameson] [She]198-molly turns [her]198-molly computer screen to face [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i read the financial reviews story on the Miles Media stock prices slump . [I]2959-i lean [my]2959-i face onto [my]2959-i hand as [I]2959-i read on . God . . . what a nightmare . [I]2959-i look over and see [Jake]108-jay laughing with one of [the girls in [her]198-molly cubicle]1253-the girls in her cubicle as if [he]108-jay does n’t have a care in [the world]249-the world . What is that stupid idiot doing ? Is [he]108-jay even investigating the damn case at all ? [Ugh]61-ugh , honestly , [I]2959-i think [he]108-jay ’s [the wrong man for the job]108-jay . No investigating seems to be getting done , although [I]2959-i ’m sure [he]108-jay has the phone numbers of [every single girl on the floor]1255-every single girl on the floor . Should [I]2959-i tell [him]108-jay [my]2959-i thoughts about [Hayden]266-jim ? No , it ’s only a hunch with no real evidence . [I]2959-i ’m testing the theory today . Screw this . [I]2959-i ’ll have to find out who ’s doing this [myself]2959-i . It ’s obvious [Jake]108-jay has no frigging idea . From the corner of [my]2959-i eye , [I]2959-i see [people]248-people scurry back to [their]248-people desks , and [I]2959-i glance up to see [Jameson]186-jameson and [Tristan]2430-tristan walking through the floor . [Tristan]2430-tristan smiles and talks to [people]248-people as [he]2430-tristan walks along . [Jameson]186-jameson stays solemn , in all [his]186-jameson cranky gorgeousness . [His]186-jameson back is ramrod straight , and [his]186-jameson face is so damn kissable it hurts . [You]1257-you ’re angry with [him]186-jameson . . . remember , [fool]306-fool ? Look away , look away . [I]2959-i go back to [my]2959-i computer , but then [I]2959-i see out of the corner of [my]2959-i eye the familiar gray suit . [I]2959-i look up to find [Jameson]186-jameson standing next to [my]2959-i desk . “ Hello , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i fake a smile . [His]186-jameson eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ Hello . ”[186-jameson] “ Can [I]186-jameson help [you]186-jameson , [sir]186-jameson ? ”[186-jameson] “ Where is [Jake]108-jay ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson says through gritted teeth . “ [Jake]108-jay would be flirting somewhere in [the office]385-new york , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say quietly . “ Look for [a good - looking woman]2894-a good - looking woman , and [you]186-jameson will find [him]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i point in the direction of [Jake]108-jay with [my]2959-i pen . [Jameson]186-jameson inhales sharply as [he]186-jameson glares over at [Jake]108-jay as [he]186-jameson talks to [a blonde]1259-a blonde , completely unaware that [he]186-jameson is being watched . [Jameson]186-jameson ’s eyes flick to [Tristan]2430-tristan , and [they]1260-they both give a subtle shake of [their]1260-they heads . “ [Tristan]2430-tristan , [I]2959-i was wondering if [I]2959-i can see [you]2430-tristan for a few moments at some point this afternoon , please ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ Yes , of course . Come up in half an hour . ”[2959-i] [Jameson]186-jameson ’s eyes stay fixed on [me]2959-i for a beat longer than necessary , as if [he]186-jameson ’s waiting for [me]2959-i to say something . [I]2959-i smile warmly as [I]2959-i hide [my]2959-i anger . Maybe [he]186-jameson ’s right , and [I]2959-i really am [a bitch]2519-a bitch . “ Bye . ”[186-jameson] “ Goodbye , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson says as [he]186-jameson turns and walks over toward [Jake]108-jay . [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i watch the moment [Jake]108-jay sees [him]108-jay coming and how fast [he]108-jay jumps up from the corner of that desk . [Jameson]186-jameson says something to [him]108-jay , and then [I]2959-i watch as [Jake]108-jay is marched to [the elevator]375-the elevator . [I]2959-i hope [they]1263-they fire [him]108-jay . [He]108-jay ’s definitely not worried about the enormity of this case . Forty minutes later , [I]2959-i knock on [Tristan]2430-tristan ’s door . “ Come in , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson calls . “ Hello . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ Hi , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson gestures to [his]186-jameson desk . “ Come take a seat . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sit down . “ [I]2959-i just wanted to keep [you]186-jameson updated on something that happened yesterday that felt out of the ordinary . ”[2959-i] “ Great , okay . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson holds [his]186-jameson pen in [his]186-jameson hands . “ What is it ? ”[186-jameson] “ [Hayden]266-jim came and asked [me]186-jameson for [my]186-jameson stories early . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson frowns as [he]186-jameson listens . “ It felt weird that [he]186-jameson needed [them]2895-them early . So . . . [I]186-jameson lied and said it was n’t ready yet . ”[186-jameson] “ And ? ”[186-jameson] “ And there was no fake news today . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson narrows [his]186-jameson eyes . “ [I]186-jameson do n’t know if [I]186-jameson ’m grasping at straws , but it kind of felt like the fake news stories only go to print if [they]2895-them are in by a certain time . ”[186-jameson] “ Interesting . That ’s great work . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson thinks for a moment . “ Hold the story back today so [we]1264-our can test the theory , and [I]2959-i will start to dig up some info on [Hayden]266-jim . Good work . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stand . “ Is everything all right ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson asks . “ Yes , why ? ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson eyes hold [mine]2959-i for a beat , and [I]2959-i know that [Jameson]186-jameson has said something about [our]1264-our fight this morning . “ Just checking . ”[186-jameson] “ Everything ’s great . ”[186-jameson] “ Good . ”[186-jameson] “ See [you]186-jameson later . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i bounce out of [the office]385-new york like [I]2959-i do n’t have a care in [the world]249-the world . It ’s late Friday night , and [I]2959-i stare at the television , [my]2959-i mind in a blurred haze . [I]2959-i have n’t heard from [Jameson]186-jameson since [our]1264-our fight on Wednesday morning . [I]2959-i ’ve seen [him]186-jameson in passing at work , but that ’s all . Maybe that ’s it — maybe [I]2959-i wo n’t see [him]186-jameson again . On Wednesday , the romantic in [me]2959-i was convinced [he]186-jameson had real feelings for [me]2959-i and that [he]186-jameson would come back begging . On Thursday , [I]2959-i decided that [the man]186-jameson has deep emotional flaws if [he]186-jameson could n’t see [he]186-jameson had feelings for [me]2959-i . Today . . . [I]2959-i wonder if [I]2959-i meant anything at all . Maybe [I]2959-i ’ve looked at the whole thing through rose - colored glasses ? All along [he]186-jameson ’s given [me]2959-i signs , and like [a fool]1267-a fool , [I]2959-i ’ve ignored [every one of [them]1269-them]1268-every one of them . [He]186-jameson leaves for [London]6-london on Monday , [I]2959-i think — not that [I]2959-i would know if [his]186-jameson plans have changed . [My]2959-i mind goes back to the flight where [we]1270-we met , and now that [I]2959-i know the life that [he]186-jameson leads . . . [I]2959-i can see it all so clearly . [He]186-jameson did n’t ask for [my]2959-i number because [he]186-jameson did n’t want anything — [he]186-jameson even said that was the reason why . But [I]2959-i never thought that [he]186-jameson actually meant [he]186-jameson did n’t want anything . [I]2959-i thought there was an ulterior motive and that was just the lie [he]186-jameson used to cover it . Maybe [some people]1271-some people are just wired never to want more . Or maybe [he]186-jameson just has n’t met [the right person]1272-the right person yet . So many maybes . [My]2959-i door buzzes , and [I]2959-i frown and get up and push the button . “ Hello . ”[2959-i] “ Hey . ”[186-jameson] The voice is distorted . “ Who is it ? ”[186-jameson] “ It ’s [me]186-jameson , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson pants . “ [Jameson]186-jameson ? ”[186-jameson] “ [You]186-jameson expecting [someone else]433-someone else ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson says , obviously annoyed . [I]2959-i smile , buzz [him]186-jameson in , and run into [the bedroom]758-the bedroom to take off [my]2959-i ragged nightdress that has hot chocolate spilled down the front of it . [I]2959-i flap [my]2959-i arms around in a panic and grab a towel off the rack . [I]2959-i wrap it around [my]2959-i chest as if [I]2959-i just got out of the shower . It ’s a lot better than a soiled nightdress with dancing teddy bears on it . Why [[my]2959-i grandma]1274-my grandma thinks dancing teddies is something [I]2959-i need , [I]2959-i ’ll never know . A knock sounds at the door , and [I]2959-i open it in a rush . And there [he]186-jameson stands . Piercing blue eyes greet [me]2959-i . [He]186-jameson ’s wet with perspiration and panting . [My]2959-i face falls . “ Did [you]2959-i run all the way here ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson nods . [He]186-jameson has a melancholy feeling oozing out of [him]186-jameson . “ Are [you]2959-i all right ? ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i ask . [He]186-jameson shrugs , and [his]186-jameson eyes search [mine]2959-i . “ [Jay]108-jay , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [my]2959-i heart melts . [I]2959-i take [him]186-jameson in [my]2959-i arms and hold [him]186-jameson tight . [He]186-jameson clings to [me]2959-i as if [his]186-jameson life depends on it . [We]1275-we stand in [each other]2339-each other ’s arms for a long time ; no words are needed . At this moment , [he]186-jameson needs [me]2959-i . “ Did the ax murderer chase [you]186-jameson here ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper up against [his]186-jameson cheek . [He]186-jameson smiles and grips [me]2959-i tighter . “ Maybe . ”[186-jameson] “ [I]2959-i paid [him]186-jameson to do that . ”[2959-i] “ Witch . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smirks . “ Come on , let ’s get [you]186-jameson in the shower . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i take [his]186-jameson hand and lead [him]186-jameson into [the bathroom]300-the bathroom and turn on the shower and take [his]186-jameson shirt off over [his]186-jameson head . [His]186-jameson eyes darken , and [I]2959-i slowly slide [his]186-jameson track pants down [his]186-jameson legs . “ [I]186-jameson ’ve had the worst few days , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson murmurs . [I]2959-i nod as [I]2959-i slide [his]186-jameson briefs down [his]186-jameson legs . “ [I]2959-i know , [baby]186-jameson . This work nightmare will be over soon . ”[2959-i] “ It has nothing to do with work . ”[186-jameson] “ What ’s it got to do with ? ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson eyes hold [mine]2959-i , and [he]186-jameson swallows the lump in [his]186-jameson throat . “ [You]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i smile softly as [my]2959-i heart free - falls from [my]2959-i chest . “ [You]186-jameson missed [me]186-jameson ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson nods as if [he]186-jameson ’s feeling stupid . [I]2959-i kiss [him]186-jameson and hold [his]186-jameson face in [my]2959-i hands . “ [I]2959-i missed [you]186-jameson , too , [you]186-jameson big dope . ”[2959-i] “ But [you]186-jameson said — ”[2959-i] “ Do n’t worry about what [that snarky bitch]186-jameson said . [She]2897-her ’s off [her]2897-her chops . Pay [her]2897-her no attention . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smirks as [his]186-jameson hands drop to [my]2959-i behind . “ Off [her]2897-her chops ? What the hell does that even mean , [Emily]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i giggle . “ When snarky bitches go crazy , [they]2898-they go off [their]2898-they chops . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson chuckles and holds [me]2959-i close and inhales deeply into [my]2959-i hair as if [he]186-jameson ’s relieved . “ [I]2959-i do n’t know what ’s going on between [us]2899-us , [Jay]108-jay . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hesitate as [I]2959-i try to articulate what [I]2959-i want to say . “ But [you]186-jameson can depend on [me]2959-i . Do n’t be scared of [us]2899-us . Because [I]2959-i ’m not . ”[2959-i] “ [You]186-jameson should be , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson fires back . “ Why would [I]186-jameson be scared of [someone who makes [me]186-jameson feel the way [you]186-jameson make [me]186-jameson feel]2900-someone who makes me feel the way you make me feel ? ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson face softens , and [he]186-jameson dusts [my]2959-i bottom lip with [his]186-jameson thumb . “ It ’s been a long few days without [you]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i smile softly . [I]2959-i love [him]186-jameson when [he]186-jameson ’s like this . “ Get in the shower , and wash away the last week , and stay with [me]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson kiss deepens , and [I]2959-i feel [his]186-jameson erection begin to grow up against [my]2959-i stomach . [He]186-jameson pulls off the towel and leads [me]2959-i into the shower by the hand and pushes [me]2959-i up against the wall . [We]1278-we kiss like [we]1278-we ’ve been starved of each other . [[My]2959-i man]2829-my man [Jim]266-jim is back . . . and [I]2959-i feel like [we]1278-we just jumped over some invisible hurdle between [us]1278-we . What exactly that is [I]2959-i just do n’t know , but [I]2959-i feel if [I]2959-i can bring [Jim]266-jim to [me]2959-i for long enough for things to become real between [us]1278-we , maybe [I]2959-i can help [Jameson]186-jameson get some kind of work - life balance . Monday morning [Jay]108-jay holds [me]2959-i tight in [his]108-jay arms as [we]1278-we say [our]1278-we goodbyes . [He]108-jay goes to [London]6-london for a week today . [He]108-jay has meetings all week . [We]1278-we ’ve had the most amazing weekend . [We]1278-we stayed here at [[my]2959-i apartment]766-my apartment the entire time . [I]2959-i ’ve cooked for [us]1278-we , [we]1278-we ’ve made love and watched movies , and [we]1278-we even went for a run . Not [a cranky CEO]2388-the ceo in sight . [We]1278-we went back to [[his]108-jay place]385-new york last night to pack [his]108-jay bag , and even then , [we]1278-we came back [here]385-new york to [[my]2959-i house]2529-your house to sleep . [I]2959-i feel that when [he]108-jay ’s here at [[my]2959-i house]2529-your house , [he]108-jay ’s able to detach from being [Jameson]186-jameson Miles [the CEO]2388-the ceo and just be [a regular man]1284-a regular man . . . [[my]2959-i man]2829-my man . [He]2829-my man can forget who [he]2829-my man is for a while and what is expected of [him]2829-my man . The dynamic has shifted between [us]1278-we . [I]2959-i do n’t know how to stop it , but [I]2959-i ’m falling for [him]2829-my man . [I]2959-i can feel [myself]2959-i slipping under the water , [his]2829-my man water . . . the beautiful spell of [Jameson Miles]186-jameson . “ No layovers , okay ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [He]2829-my man smiles as [we]1278-we kiss . “ No talking to [girls who get upgraded]2901-girls who get upgraded . ”[2829-my man] [He]2829-my man grabs [my]2959-i behind . “ Stop talking , wench . ”[2829-my man] [I]2959-i grip [him]2829-my man tighter . “ Oh . [I]2829-my man hate the thought of a week without [you]2829-my man . ”[2829-my man] [He]2829-my man kisses [me]2959-i again but remains silent . “ Will [you]2829-my man say something ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Say something sweet to put [me]2829-my man out of [my]2829-my man misery . ”[2829-my man] [His]2829-my man eyes come to [mine]2959-i as [he]2829-my man cups [my]2959-i face . “ [I]2959-i packed [your]2829-my man scarf in [my]2959-i luggage . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile softly . “ It ’s nothing new . [I]2959-i ’ve taken it on every trip [I]2959-i ’ve been on . . . since [we]2902-we met . ”[2959-i] A wave of unexpected emotion overwhelms [me]2959-i , and [my]2959-i eyes fill with tears . [I]2959-i blink them away in the hope [he]2829-my man does n’t see . “ [You]2829-my man have ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [He]2829-my man nods and kisses [me]2959-i as [he]2829-my man holds [my]2959-i face , and it ’s tender and perfect and [God]0-aaron , [I]2959-i just want to blurt out that maybe [I]2959-i really do love [him]2829-my man for real now . But [I]2959-i wo n’t , because then [I]2959-i will ruin it . Whatever this is . [I]2959-i lie in bed and aimlessly scroll through Instagram , but [my]2959-i mind is anything but on [my]2959-i feed . [Jameson]186-jameson is [my]2959-i focus . [I]2959-i ’ve missed [him]2829-my man this week , but [I]2959-i know [he]2829-my man ’s missed [me]2959-i too . Even with all [his]2829-my man meetings and stress over there , [he]2829-my man has kept in constant touch . Hopefully when [he]2829-my man gets back , [we]1286-we can decipher what ’s really going on here . [My]2959-i phone rings , and the letter [J]127-j lights up [my]2959-i screen . “ Hello . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ Hey there , ”[2829-my man] [his]2829-my man deep velvety voice purrs down the line . “ How ’s [[my]2829-my man man]2829-my man ? ”[2829-my man] “ Good , busy . How are [you]2829-my man ? ”[2829-my man] “ Lonely . ”[1287-we] [We]1287-we ’ve spoken every day since [he]2829-my man ’s been gone . . . twice a day , actually . [He]2829-my man chuckles . “ [You]2829-my man did n’t look too lonely last night in that Skype session . ”[2829-my man] [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i face flush . [We]1287-we ’ve been sexting [each other]2339-each other every night , and last night [I]2959-i may have given [him]2829-my man a little vibrator show . The look on [his]2829-my man face was one of pure pleasure . [I]2959-i clench [my]2959-i sex just thinking about the way [he]2829-my man was pulling [himself]2829-my man as [he]2829-my man watched [me]2959-i . [God]0-aaron . . . deviants . “ What ’s going on today , [sweetheart]2959-i ? ”[2829-my man] [he]2829-my man asks . [My]2959-i stomach flips every time [he]2829-my man calls [me]2959-i that ; it will never grow old . “ Working . ”[2829-my man] [I]2959-i try not to talk about work with [him]2829-my man . [I]2959-i want to keep [our]1287-we relationship as separated as [I]2959-i can . “ What are [you]2959-i up to ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i ’m just about to go out to dinner with [Elliot]140-elliot . [He]140-elliot ’s introducing [me]2959-i to [some girl [he]140-elliot ’s met]2903-some girl he ’s met . ”[2959-i] “ Really ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ Has [he]140-elliot fallen in love ? ”[2959-i] “ God , no . [He]140-elliot falls in lust every week , though . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i giggle . “ Are [you]2959-i going out tonight ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . “ No , [Jay]108-jay ; relax , will [you]108-jay ? ”[0-aaron] [God]0-aaron , [he]0-aaron ’s frigging traumatized from that night [I]2959-i was dancing with [the blond god]0-aaron . “ It ’s hard to relax when [I]2959-i know how gorgeous [you]108-jay are on the other side of [the world]249-the world all alone . ”[2959-i] “ Well , in four more days [you]108-jay ’ll be back . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i glance at [my]2959-i watch . “ [I]2959-i ’ve got to go . [I]2959-i ’m going to miss [[my]2959-i bus]2905-my bus . ”[2959-i] “ Okay . [I]0-aaron ’ll let [you]108-jay go . Have a nice day , [babe]0-aaron . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron sighs . “ [You]108-jay too , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [He]0-aaron lingers on the line . Even on the other side of [the world]249-the world , [he]0-aaron has an effect on [me]2959-i . [He]0-aaron ’s waiting for [me]2959-i to tell [him]0-aaron [I]2959-i ’m missing [him]0-aaron . . . [he]0-aaron always does . “ [I]2959-i ’m missing [you]0-aaron . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ [Me]2959-i too . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i ’ll speak to [you]0-aaron tonight . ”[2959-i] “ Okay . Bye . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly and [I]2959-i ’ve just been out for dinner , and [she]198-molly ’s driving [me]2959-i [home]2289-home . [Her]198-molly phone rings through the Bluetooth in [[her]198-molly car]369-the car . The name [Michael]60-michael lights up the screen . “ Hello , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly answers . “ Oh [[my]198-molly God]2363-my god , [Molly]198-molly . [I]198-molly need [your]198-molly help . ”[198-molly] “ What ’s wrong ? ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly stammers as [she]198-molly slows [the car]369-the car down . [Michael]60-michael is [[her]198-molly ex - husband]562-her ex - husband ; [my]2959-i eyes widen as [I]2959-i listen . “ [I]60-michael took something , and now [I]60-michael ’m driving , and [I]60-michael just passed out , and [[my]60-michael car]369-the car hit a guardrail . ”[60-michael] “ What ? ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly cries as [she]198-molly pulls [the car]369-the car over to the side . “ [I]198-molly feel so dizzy . ”[198-molly] “ Holy shit , tell [me]198-molly where [you]198-molly are ! ”[198-molly] “ [I]198-molly ’m on the interstate near [the garage]2907-the garage [we]2908-we get gas from . ”[198-molly] “ Okay , [I]198-molly ’m on [my]198-molly way . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly does a U - turn and starts speeding in the other direction . [She]198-molly ’s driving like a bat out of hell , and [I]2959-i hold on for dear life . “ Do [you]198-molly know mouth to mouth ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ No . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly shrugs . “ Maybe a little bit . Can [you]198-molly google passing out for [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i start to google . “ Should [we]2908-we just call [an ambulance]2909-an ambulance ? ”[2959-i] “ Maybe . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly looks between [me]2959-i and [the road]533-the road ; [she]198-molly calls [him]2959-i back . “ Hello , ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i says in a meek voice . “ Are [you]198-molly okay ? ”[2959-i] “ Yes . ”[198-molly] “ Should [I]198-molly call [an ambulance]2909-an ambulance ? ”[198-molly] “ No , ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i snaps . “ Just get [here]385-new york . ”[2959-i] Five minutes later [we]1294-we pull up behind [[his]2959-i parked car]369-the car , and [we]1294-we can see [him]2959-i slumped in the front seat . [We]1294-we both get out to run up to [the car]369-the car . “ Thank God [you]2959-i ’re here , ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i splutters when [he]2959-i sees [her]198-molly . Then [he]2959-i sees [me]2959-i , and [his]2959-i face falls . “ It ’s all right . This is [Emily]186-jameson , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly says . “ What happened ? ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i points at [her]198-molly and [me]2959-i . “ Do not tell a soul . ”[2959-i] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i gets out of [the car]369-the car , and [we]1294-we both look down . [He]2959-i has a huge erection . “ What the fuck ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly gasps . “ [I]2959-i have a Tinder date tonight , so [I]2959-i took a Viagra , but it did n’t seem to work , so [I]2959-i took another two . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i hands over [my]2959-i mouth in horror . [Molly]198-molly ’s eyes widen . “ [You]198-molly took three Viagra ? ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i nods , [his]2959-i erection nearly splitting [his]2959-i pants . “ [You]198-molly are [the stupidest fucking man [I]2959-i ’ve ever known]198-molly . ”[2959-i] “ Without a doubt . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i winces . [He]2959-i goes to move and then gets dizzy and has to hold on to [the car]369-the car for balance . “ Get in [the car]369-the car , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly demands . “ [I]198-molly ’m taking [you]198-molly to [the ER]2911-the er . ”[198-molly] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i stammers . “ No . ”[2959-i] “ [You]198-molly have no blood left in [your]198-molly body , [you]198-molly stupid fuck ! ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly cries . [He]2959-i puts [his]2959-i head into [his]2959-i hands , and [I]2959-i want to burst out laughing so hard . [I]2959-i bite [my]2959-i lip to stop [myself]2959-i as [I]2959-i look between [the two of [them]2419-the two of them]2419-the two of them . “ What ’s the ER going to do ? ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i cries . “ Other than laugh at [the middle - aged man with a Tinder erection]2912-the middle - aged man with a tinder erection , nothing . Get in [the damn car]1298-the damn car . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i goes to walk and then falls to the ground , and [we]1297-we both run to pick [him]2959-i up and put [him]2959-i in the front of [[Molly]198-molly ’s car]1298-the damn car . [I]2959-i climb in the back . [Molly]198-molly ’s eyes flick to [him]2959-i as [he]2959-i lies back on the seat in pain , and [I]2959-i stay silent , unsure what to say . [I]2959-i ’ll catch [a cab]707-a cab [home]2289-home from [the ER]2911-the er . [I]2959-i do n’t want to be in the way . [Molly]198-molly shakes [her]198-molly head as [she]198-molly drives . “ So . . . let [me]198-molly get this straight , [Michael]60-michael . [You]60-michael ’re going out with [Madam Whorebag]187-madam whorebag tonight , and [you]60-michael go to all this trouble to satisfy whoever [she]198-molly is in bed ? ”[198-molly] [He]2959-i looks over at [her]198-molly and clenches [his]2959-i jaw as if [he]2959-i knows what ’s coming next . “ [You]60-michael could n’t even be bothered to have sex with [me]198-molly at all , [Michael]60-michael ! ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly screams . “ How the hell do [you]60-michael think that makes [me]198-molly feel ? ”[198-molly] “ Because [you]60-michael did n’t fucking like it , ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i fires back . “ Because [I]2959-i got two fucking pumps . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes widen . Oh jeez . [I]2959-i so do n’t want to be here right now . [I]2959-i slump into [my]2959-i seat to try to hide . “ Why do [you]60-michael think [I]2959-i have to take this shit ? Huh ? ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i yells . “ Because [I]2959-i knew what a fucking disappointment [I]2959-i was to [you]60-michael . ”[2959-i] [Molly]198-molly ’s eyes widen in rage . “ [You]60-michael were never a disappointment . [You]60-michael were fucking lazy and did n’t care . ”[198-molly] “ [I]2959-i did so care ! ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i screams . “ Losing [you]60-michael is the biggest regret of [my]2959-i life . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i head into [my]2959-i hands . [I]2959-i wonder if [they]1302-they would notice if [I]2959-i dived out of [the moving car]369-the car . [Molly]198-molly glares at [him]2959-i , and [the car]369-the car coasts to one side of [the highway]533-the road . [I]2959-i wince . “ Eyes on [the road]533-the road , [Moll]198-molly , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [She]198-molly straightens [the car]369-the car . “ So why did n’t [you]2913-you call [her]198-molly to come and get [you]2913-you tonight , huh ? ”[198-molly] “ Because [I]2959-i would n’t tell [her]198-molly anything about [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i sighs as [he]2959-i leans [his]2959-i head onto [his]2959-i hand , clearly upset . “ Why not ? ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly yells . “ Because [she]198-molly ’s not [you]2913-you ! ”[198-molly] [The car]369-the car falls silent , and [my]2959-i eyes fill with tears . [He]2959-i still loves [her]198-molly . Oh . . . this is so sad . Moments later [we]1305-we pull into [the hospital]1306-the hospital and help [him]2959-i out of [the car]369-the car and into [the reception room]1307-the reception room , and [Molly]198-molly goes up to the desk . “ [[My]198-molly husband]2914-my husband needs to see [somebody]251-somebody , please . ”[198-molly] “ What ’s the problem ? ”[1308-the nurse] [the nurse]1308-the nurse asks . [She]1308-the nurse drops [her]1308-the nurse shoulders as [she]1308-the nurse steels [herself]1308-the nurse to say it out loud . “ [I]1308-the nurse accidentally gave [him]2959-i too much [Viagra]26-viagra . ”[1308-the nurse] [Michael]60-michael takes [her]1308-the nurse hand in a silent thank - [you]60-michael , and [I]2959-i smile softly . [She]1308-the nurse ’s covering for [him]2959-i to save [him]2959-i the embarrassment . “ Oh . ”[1308-the nurse] [The nurse]1308-the nurse ’s face falls , and [she]1308-the nurse gets a wheelchair . With [Molly]198-molly walking beside [him]2959-i , [he]2959-i is wheeled down [the corridor]609-the corridor . [I]2959-i take a seat and inhale deeply as [my]2959-i faith in the human race is restored . [I]2959-i learned a lesson tonight — love comes in all shapes and sizes . [Jameson]186-jameson [I]2959-i tap the whiteboard in front of [me]2959-i as [I]2959-i stand and go through [our]1310-our discussion topics . “ This projection here is based on the current climate . However , that may change when the election goes through . ”[178-buzz] [Buzz]178-buzz . [My]2959-i phone dances across the table , and [I]2959-i look up at [the men]378-the men sitting around the board table . Damn it , just let it ring out . [Elliot]140-elliot glances down at [my]2959-i phone at the same time to see the caller ID . FB . But [I]2959-i want to hear [her]1308-the nurse voice ; two minutes wo n’t hurt . “ [I]1308-the nurse have to take this call . [Elliot]140-elliot , can [you]1308-the nurse go through the advertising strategy for next month , please , while [I]1308-the nurse do ? ”[1308-the nurse] “ Sure thing . ”[140-elliot] [Elliot]140-elliot stands and takes over , and [I]2959-i answer the call and leave [the room]514-the room and head into [[Christopher]141-christopher ’s office]1313-christopher ’s office next door . “ Hello . ”[1308-the nurse] “ Hi . ”[186-jameson] [Emily]186-jameson ’s happy voice beams down the phone line . “ Hi . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i find [myself]2959-i smiling stupidly as [I]2959-i stand at the window overlooking [London]6-london . “ Did [I]186-jameson interrupt anything ? ”[186-jameson] [she]186-jameson asks . [I]2959-i smirk . Only a meeting with [twelve management staff]1314-twelve management staff . “ No , not at all . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i called to tell [you]1308-the nurse [I]2959-i bought new sneakers . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ [You]1308-the nurse did ? ”[2959-i] “ Uh - huh , [they]1314-twelve management staff ’re motorized , so [I]0-aaron will be whipping [your]1308-the nurse ass on [park]385-new york runs from [here]385-new york on in . Just thought [I]0-aaron should warn [you]1308-the nurse . ”[0-aaron] [God]0-aaron . . . [she]186-jameson ’s so refreshingly normal . When has [a woman]339-a woman ever called [me]2959-i to tell [me]2959-i [she]186-jameson bought new sneakers ? “ [I]339-a woman highly doubt that . ”[339-a woman] “ Oh hell , [you]1308-the nurse wo n’t believe what happened last night , ”[186-jameson] [she]186-jameson continues . “ [[Molly]198-molly ’s ex - husband]2917-molly ’s ex - husband took two [Viagra]26-viagra , maybe three , and passed out while [he]2917-molly ’s ex - husband was driving because [he]2917-molly ’s ex - husband had no blood left in [his]2917-molly ’s ex - husband body because it was all in [his]2917-molly ’s ex - husband dick , so [we]2918-we had to take [him]2917-molly ’s ex - husband to [the ER]2911-the er . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i laugh out loud . “ What the hell ? Is that a thing ? ”[2959-i] “ Yes , it ’s a thing . Who knew ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i widen [my]2959-i eyes . [Jesus]107-jesus . “ [I]2959-i ’ll have to stop taking it , then , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i tease . [She]186-jameson laughs . “ No , it ’s okay . [I]186-jameson completely know what to do now . Passing out is well worth it . [You]2920-you stay on that shit — [we]2918-we just need to tourniquet it . [I]186-jameson ’ve got [us]2918-we covered . ”[186-jameson] [We]1316-we both laugh and then fall silent . “ Three days , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i murmur . “ Three days , ”[186-jameson] [she]186-jameson repeats . [God]0-aaron , [I]2959-i ’ve never been so anxious to get [home]2289-home in [my]2959-i life . “ What are [you]0-aaron doing now ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ [I]2959-i ’m about to put a face mask on and take a bath with cut - up cucumber over [my]2959-i eyes . [You]0-aaron ’re missing out on a real visual sensation over here . ”[2959-i] “ No doubt . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . [This woman]186-jameson is so naturally beautiful . [She]186-jameson does n’t try to be something [she]186-jameson ’s not . [I]2959-i love that about [her]186-jameson . [I]2959-i love a lot of things about [her]186-jameson . . . “ So [you]0-aaron ’ve added cucumbers to [your]0-aaron beauty regimen now ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ Yeah , it ’s supposed to make [you]0-aaron less puffy . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile broadly . “ Cucumbers are good for a lot of things . Maybe it should be added to [our]2921-our sexual regimen as well . ”[186-jameson] [She]186-jameson bursts out laughing . “ [You]0-aaron ’re a sicko , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles . ”[186-jameson] “ So [you]0-aaron keep telling [me]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] “ [I]2959-i ’ll let [you]0-aaron go . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk as [I]2959-i look out the window . “ Goodbye , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ Goodbye , [Jay]108-jay , ”[186-jameson] [she]186-jameson whispers . The phone goes dead , and [I]2959-i head back into [the boardroom]1318-the boardroom and take a seat . [Christopher]141-christopher is now talking about something , and [I]2959-i take [my]2959-i seat next to [Elliot]140-elliot . [He]140-elliot leans over and whispers , “ [You]108-jay have [Zuckerberg]188-zuckerberg on speed dial now ? ”[140-elliot] “ Huh ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ FB . . . that stands for Facebook , right ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown and then realize [he]140-elliot ’s talking about the call from [Emily]186-jameson . [FB]185-fb stands for fuck bunny , not Facebook . [I]2959-i smirk , and then [I]2959-i pinch the bridge of [my]2959-i nose as [my]2959-i chuckle breaks through . “ What ’s so funny ? ”[140-elliot] [Elliot]140-elliot whispers . “ [Zuckerberg]188-zuckerberg bought motorized sneakers . ”[140-elliot] [Elliot]140-elliot rolls [his]140-elliot eyes . “ It would n’t surprise [me]140-elliot . [That guy]2774-that guy ’s fucking crazy . ”[140-elliot] [I]2959-i catch [a cab]707-a cab with a thousand thoughts running through [my]2959-i mind . There ’s so much history between [the two of [us]1321-us]1320-the two of us . [I]2959-i ’m on [my]2959-i way to see [[my]2959-i ex , who was supposed to be the love of [my]2959-i life]1322-my ex , who was supposed to be the love of my life . It ’s been a long time since [I]2959-i ’ve seen [Claudia]57-claudia . [She]57-claudia was in the States the last time [I]2959-i was in [London]6-london . Both being workaholics has always worked against [us]1321-us — time together is precious . [I]2959-i knock on the door and exhale ; [my]2959-i nerves are thumping heavily . The door opens in a rush , and [her]57-claudia beautiful face comes into view . [She]57-claudia smiles broadly and wraps [her]57-claudia arms around [my]2959-i neck . “ Thank God [you]2923-you ’re here , ”[57-claudia] [she]57-claudia whispers into [my]2959-i neck . “ [I]57-claudia ’ve missed [you]2923-you . ”[57-claudia] Chapter 16 “ Hello . ”[57-claudia] [I]2959-i smile as [she]57-claudia leads [me]2959-i into [[her]57-claudia house]1323-her house by the hand . [Her]57-claudia touch is warm . . . familiar . “ How are [you]2923-you ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ Good now that [you]2923-you ’re here . ”[57-claudia] [She]57-claudia takes [me]2959-i in [her]57-claudia arms , and [I]2959-i smile down at [her]57-claudia . There ’s a bond between [us]1324-us that can never be broken . Realizing what [I]2959-i ’m doing , [I]2959-i pull out of [her]57-claudia arms and stand back . Being in [her]57-claudia arms was n’t on today ’s agenda . [Her]57-claudia face falls before [she]57-claudia quickly recovers . “ Any news on the sabotage ? ”[57-claudia] “ No , none yet . ”[57-claudia] [She]57-claudia watches [me]2959-i for a moment , and [her]57-claudia knowing eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ [You]57-claudia have something on [your]57-claudia mind . What is it ? ”[57-claudia] “ [I]57-claudia ’ve met [someone]2326-someone . ”[57-claudia] “ Do n’t . ”[57-claudia] [She]57-claudia turns [her]57-claudia back to [me]2959-i and walks to [the kitchen]683-the kitchen and puts the kettle on . “ [I]57-claudia could n’t help it . ”[57-claudia] [I]2959-i walk up behind [her]57-claudia and put [my]2959-i hand out to touch [her]57-claudia and then recoil it . [I]2959-i take a safe step back . “ Do n’t tell [me]2959-i [you]57-claudia could n’t help it when [we]2925-we both know [you]57-claudia can . ”[2959-i] “ The pull to [her]57-claudia is strong . ”[2959-i] “ Physical pull ? ”[57-claudia] [she]57-claudia asks flatly . [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i lips as [I]2959-i watch [her]57-claudia ; [she]57-claudia ’s going to go postal any moment . “ At first , yes . [I]57-claudia thought it was just physical . ”[57-claudia] [Her]57-claudia eyes come to [mine]2959-i . “ How long ago did [you]57-claudia meet [her]57-claudia ? ”[57-claudia] “ Twelve months . ”[57-claudia] [Her]57-claudia face screws up in fury . “ [You]57-claudia ’ve been seeing [someone]2326-someone for twelve months ? ”[57-claudia] “ No , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ [I]2959-i met [her]57-claudia on a flight a year ago , [we]2927-we spent a night together on a layover , and [I]2959-i ’ve recently run into [her]57-claudia again . ”[2959-i] “ Big deal , [Jameson]186-jameson . [You]57-claudia ’ve slept with [a lot of [women]276-women]2928-a lot of women while [we]2927-we ’ve been on this break , ”[57-claudia] [she]57-claudia fires back angrily . “ [This one]100-bingo ’s different , [Claudia]57-claudia , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say softly . [She]57-claudia rolls [her]57-claudia eyes in disgust and turns [her]57-claudia back to [me]2959-i once again . “ [I]57-claudia ’ve thought of her”—I[57-claudia] pause , unsure how much to share—“a lot since [we]2927-we met , and then it was as if [I]2959-i . . . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i voice trails off , and [I]2959-i stare at [her]57-claudia back as [I]2959-i wait for [her]57-claudia reply . “ As if [you]57-claudia what ? ”[57-claudia] [she]57-claudia eventually asks . “ It was as if [I]57-claudia willed [her]57-claudia back into [my]57-claudia life . ”[57-claudia] [She]57-claudia turns sharply . “ Meaning what ? ”[57-claudia] “ [She]57-claudia ’d been on [my]57-claudia mind a lot . . . and then [she]57-claudia showed up in [[my]57-claudia office]455-my office . ”[57-claudia] [She]57-claudia rolls [her]57-claudia eyes , unimpressed . “ Of course [she]57-claudia would — [you’re Jameson Miles]186-jameson . ”[57-claudia] “ [She]57-claudia had no idea who [I]57-claudia was when [we]2932-we met . [I]57-claudia gave [her]57-claudia a fake name . ”[57-claudia] “ So why are [you]57-claudia [here]385-new york , [Jameson]186-jameson ? ”[57-claudia] [she]57-claudia demands . [I]2959-i swallow the lump of regret in [my]2959-i throat . “ [I]2959-i ’m here to end it with [you]57-claudia . ”[2959-i] “ Do n’t [you]57-claudia . ”[57-claudia] [She]57-claudia points at [me]2959-i . “ Do n’t [you]57-claudia dare throw away everything [we]2932-we ’ve worked so hard to keep together . ”[57-claudia] [Her]57-claudia eyes fill with tears . “ [Claud]189-claud . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sigh softly . “ [We]2932-we ’re no good together . [We]2932-we ’re both workaholics , [we]2932-we live on other sides of [the world]249-the world , and unless [one of [us]2932-we]2800-one of us loses [our]2932-we job , that ’s never going to change . [I]2959-i ca n’t be anywhere but [New York]385-new york . ”[2959-i] “ What if [I]57-claudia moved back ? ”[57-claudia] [she]57-claudia offers . “ And give up [your]57-claudia dream job ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sigh . “ [I]57-claudia would n’t let [you]57-claudia do that for [me]57-claudia . [I]57-claudia know how hard [you]57-claudia ’ve worked for this job . ”[57-claudia] [She]57-claudia stares at [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i take [her]57-claudia in [my]2959-i arms . “ [You]57-claudia need to fall in love with [someone who can support [you]57-claudia in [your]57-claudia role]2936-someone who can support you in your role . ”[2959-i] “ [I]57-claudia have , ”[57-claudia] [she]57-claudia whispers as [she]57-claudia clings to [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes as [I]2959-i kiss [her]57-claudia temple . “ [Two people who are wired the same way ca n’t be in a forever relationship]2937-two people who are wired the same way ca n’t be in a forever relationship . [We]2937-two people who are wired the same way ca n’t be in a forever relationship need to be with opposites , [Claud]189-claud . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i squeeze [her]57-claudia a bit tighter . “ Two workaholics will never work . [We]2937-two people who are wired the same way ca n’t be in a forever relationship ’re both too focused and too stressed out to properly look after [one another]2938-one another . ”[57-claudia] [She]57-claudia stares at [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i know that deep down , [she]57-claudia knows [I]2959-i ’m right . [Her]57-claudia eyes well with tears . “ What happened to [our]2937-two people who are wired the same way ca n’t be in a forever relationship five - year plan ? ”[57-claudia] [she]57-claudia whispers . “ It was good in theory , but come on . [We]2937-two people who are wired the same way ca n’t be in a forever relationship both knew when [we]2937-two people who are wired the same way ca n’t be in a forever relationship made the break that there was a big chance [we]2937-two people who are wired the same way ca n’t be in a forever relationship would n’t make it through to the other side . ”[57-claudia] “ [I]57-claudia ’ll move back , ”[57-claudia] [she]57-claudia pleads . [My]2959-i eyes hold [hers]57-claudia , and [I]2959-i know there ’s no easy way to say this . “ It ’s too late . [I]57-claudia have feelings for [Emily]186-jameson . It ’s [her]57-claudia that [I]57-claudia want now . ”[57-claudia] [Her]57-claudia face screws up in anger . “ [Emily]186-jameson , is it ? ”[57-claudia] [she]57-claudia sneers . [I]2959-i clench [my]2959-i jaw as [I]2959-i watch [her]57-claudia . “ Who is [she]57-claudia ? What does [she]57-claudia do ? ”[2959-i] “ [She]57-claudia ’s just [a normal girl from [the suburbs]2939-the suburbs]57-claudia . ”[57-claudia] [She]57-claudia rolls [her]57-claudia eyes in disgust . “ [You]57-claudia . . . with [a normal girl]57-claudia ? [Ha]163-ha , what a joke . [I]57-claudia suppose [she]57-claudia cooks and cleans and fusses over [you]57-claudia and sucks [your]57-claudia dick on command , does [she]57-claudia ? ”[57-claudia] [I]2959-i inhale to hold [my]2959-i anger deeply . “ [She]57-claudia ’s good for [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] “ [I]57-claudia ’m good for [you]57-claudia , ”[57-claudia] [she]57-claudia fires back . “ As [a work colleague]2940-a work colleague or [employee]2941-employee , yes — as [a mate]2942-a mate . . . not so much . ”[57-claudia] [Her]57-claudia eyes fill with tears anew . “ [I]2959-i ’m not good for [you]57-claudia . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . “ [I]2959-i ’m so busy that [I]2959-i ca n’t be there for [you]57-claudia either . [You]57-claudia deserve to be doted on , but [I]2959-i ca n’t do that from [New York]385-new york , [Claud]189-claud ; [you]57-claudia know [I]2959-i ca n’t . There is no way around this situation . [Our]2943-our lives are traveling on different paths . [Two CEOs]106-ceos ca n’t hold [their]106-ceos careers and nurture a relationship from different sides of [the world]249-the world . It ’s an impossible task . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pause as [I]2959-i try to articulate what [I]2959-i ’m saying . “ Until [I]2959-i met [her]1326-her . . . [I]2959-i did n’t realize what [we]2943-our were both missing out on . Both [me]2959-i and [you]57-claudia . ”[2959-i] [Her]1326-her eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ [I]1326-her wish it were [you]57-claudia telling [me]1326-her [you]57-claudia ’d met [someone]2326-someone , so then [I]1326-her would n’t be saying this . [I]1326-her love [you]57-claudia , and [you]57-claudia ’re [the last person [I]1326-her want to hurt]2326-someone . [I]1326-her would much rather [you]57-claudia hurt [me]1326-her . ”[1326-her] [She]1326-her walks over and drops to the couch as [she]1326-her processes the information . [I]2959-i stay silent as [I]2959-i watch [her]1326-her . “ So what now ? ”[1326-her] [she]1326-her asks . “ [I]1326-her ’m going [home]2289-home to move [her]1326-her into [[my]1326-her apartment]766-my apartment . ”[1326-her] [Her]1326-her face falls . “ What ? ”[1326-her] “ And [I]1326-her will be announcing [our]2948-our relationship . ”[1326-her] [She]1326-her drops [her]1326-her head in sadness . “ What ’s the rush ? ”[1326-her] “ [You]1326-her know [me]1326-her — [I’m]1326-her all or nothing . ”[1326-her] [She]1326-her screws up [her]1326-her face in tears . “ Are [you]1326-her going to marry [her]1326-her ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stay silent . “ [You]1326-her asked [me]1326-her to marry [you]1326-her four weeks after [we]2949-we met . Are [you]1326-her . . . ”[1326-her] [Her]1326-her voice trails off in hurt . [I]2959-i clench [my]2959-i jaw to stop [myself]2959-i from saying something [I]2959-i ’ll regret . [She]1326-her drops [her]1326-her head , and [I]2959-i watch as [she]1326-her cries for a moment . [I]2959-i have to leave before [she]1326-her gets angry . “ [I]1326-her ’m going . ”[1326-her] [Her]1326-her haunted eyes come to [mine]2959-i . “ [I]1326-her love [you]1326-her , ”[1326-her] [she]1326-her whispers . [I]2959-i smile sadly and take [her]1326-her in [my]2959-i arms . “ [I]2959-i love [you]1326-her too . ”[2959-i] [We]1327-we hold each other for an extended time . “ Be happy , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper into [her]1326-her hair . “ How could [I]1326-her possibly be happy without [you]1326-her , [Jameson]186-jameson ? ”[1326-her] [she]1326-her whispers . “ Do n’t go . ”[1326-her] “ [I]2959-i have to . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pull out of [her]1326-her arms , and without another word [I]2959-i turn and walk out of [[Claudia]57-claudia ’s terrace house]1328-claudia ’s terrace house . [I]2959-i get into the back of [[my]2959-i waiting car]1329-my waiting car and stare solemnly out the window as it pulls away . “ Goodbye , [Claudia]57-claudia , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as the scenery zooms by . “ Fly high , [baby]336-yay . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i get a lump in [my]2959-i throat for all the good times [we]1330-we shared . “ [You]57-claudia deserve the best . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sprint the last block . It ’s four in the morning , and [I]2959-i ’m running in [New York]385-new york . [I]2959-i love [this city]385-new york at night ; it has a peace that daylight does n’t deliver . Last night at [the airport]254-the airport [I]2959-i had [my]2959-i fill of scotch and slept the entire flight [home]2289-home , and now [I]2959-i ’m a ball of energy . [My]2959-i flight landed at two o’clock , too late to go to [Emily]186-jameson ’s . . . not that it ’s stopped [me]2959-i from running [here]385-new york . [I]2959-i pant as [I]2959-i approach [[her]186-jameson building]1334-her building , and [I]2959-i stare up at it and go to the intercom . [My]2959-i finger hovers over [her]186-jameson button . [My]2959-i chest rises and falls as [I]2959-i hesitate . It ’s four o’clock , and [she]186-jameson has to work tomorrow . Do n’t be selfish . Fuck , [I]2959-i ca n’t help it with [her]186-jameson — [I]2959-i am selfish . [I]2959-i want [her]186-jameson around the clock . [I]2959-i walk out onto [the street]550-the street and stand at the gutter with [my]2959-i hands on [my]2959-i hips as [I]2959-i struggle for breath . Spits of rain begin to splatter , and [I]2959-i look up at the sky . [I]2959-i love running in the rain . It starts to really come down , and [I]2959-i turn back and look up at [[Emily]186-jameson ’s building]1336-emily ’s building . [I]2959-i count the floors until [I]2959-i get to [her]186-jameson windows . [I]2959-i imagine [her]186-jameson sleeping in [her]186-jameson bed with [her]186-jameson long dark hair splayed across [her]186-jameson pillow , [her]186-jameson beautiful curvy body curled up like [she]186-jameson does , and eyes that could talk [me]2959-i into anything . Tomorrow . . . well , today now . [I]2959-i smile up at [her]186-jameson window as the rain really comes down , and [I]2959-i turn and begin the long run [home]2289-home . Tomorrow [I]2959-i start fresh with [Emily Foster]186-jameson . [Emily]186-jameson [I]2959-i walk through the security check with a spring in [my]2959-i step . [Jameson]186-jameson got [home]2289-home last night . [I]2959-i get to see [him]186-jameson today . [I]2959-i ’m so excited that [I]2959-i even got up early and curled [my]2959-i hair , and [I]2959-i ’m wearing [my]2959-i gray skirt in full swing . A week has never felt so long . [I]2959-i take the elevator up to [my]2959-i floor and sit at [my]2959-i desk . “ Hey , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron says over [his]0-aaron coffee cup . “ Hi there . ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i smile . “ What ’s that look ? ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron smirks . “ [Jameson]186-jameson ’s [home]2289-home . ”[0-aaron] “ How do [you]0-aaron know ? ”[0-aaron] “ Well , [I]2959-i hope [he]186-jameson ’s [home]2289-home . [He]186-jameson called [me]2959-i from [the airport]268-the plane , and [he]186-jameson was all boozy , so [I]2959-i ’m hoping [he]186-jameson made it onto [the plane]268-the plane . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look over to see [Hayden]266-jim at [the photocopying machine area]1338-the photocopying machine area . [He]266-jim ’s talking to [a group of girls]1339-a group of girls . “ How well do [you]2952-you know [Hayden]266-jim ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ Hmm . ”[266-jim] [He]266-jim thinks for a moment . “ Not that well . [Molly]198-molly knows [him]266-jim from [her]198-molly old job . ”[266-jim] “ Where was that ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask as [I]2959-i turn [my]2959-i computer on . “ [They]1339-a group of girls worked at the Gazette together . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes flick to [him]266-jim . “ [Molly]198-molly worked at [the Gazette]596-the gazette ? ”[2959-i] “ Yeah , for years . [Miles Media]68-miles media headhunted [her]198-molly . ”[2959-i] Shit . A sinister thought crosses [my]2959-i mind . No , not [Molly]198-molly . Do n’t be stupid . It could n’t be . Do n’t even think that . [Tristan]2430-tristan and [I]2959-i tested the theory over the last week , and every time [I]2959-i gave [Hayden]266-jim a story before four o’clock , it was printed in the Gazette the next day . There ’s definitely a correlation somewhere . Whether it ’s [Hayden]266-jim or above [him]266-jim , [we]1340-we ’re trying to find out . [I]2959-i really like [Tristan]2430-tristan ; [he]2430-tristan ’s funny and intelligent and a lot softer around the edges than [[his]2430-tristan brother]617-his brother . “ What happened with [Paul]101-paul last night ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ [He]2430-tristan turned up . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan looks at [me]2959-i sheepishly . “ Oh God , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i mutter dryly . “ Do n’t tell [me]2430-tristan [you]2954-you slept with [him]2430-tristan . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan hits the keys on [his]2430-tristan computer with force . “ Yep . [I]2430-tristan ca n’t resist [that fucking asshole]2430-tristan . ”[2430-tristan] “ Did [you]2954-you have it out with [him]2430-tristan yet ? ”[2430-tristan] “ No . [I]2430-tristan want to catch [him]2430-tristan in the act . ”[2430-tristan] “ So why are [you]2954-you still fucking [him]2430-tristan ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ For [God]0-aaron ’s sake , [Aaron]0-aaron , do n’t be used . ”[2959-i] “ For the record , [I]2430-tristan ’m using [him]2430-tristan . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan rolls [his]2430-tristan eyes as [he]2430-tristan sips [his]2430-tristan coffee . “ [Nobody]2321-nobody ’s dick is that good , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i huff . “ Except [his]2430-tristan . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan sighs sadly . “ [Ugh]61-ugh . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i wince . “ Leave [me]2430-tristan alone with [the asshole]663-the asshole for five minutes with a carving knife . [I]2430-tristan ’ll get it for [you]0-aaron to take away . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan laughs , and [my]2959-i phone rings . “ Hello . ”[2430-tristan] “ Hi , [Emily]186-jameson , this is [Sammia]246-alan . ”[2430-tristan] “ Oh , hi . ”[2430-tristan] Excitement runs through [me]2959-i . “ [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles would like to see [you]186-jameson in [[his]2430-tristan office]426-his office right away , please . ”[2959-i] A huge smile splits [my]2959-i face . “ On [my]2959-i way . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hang up and stand . “ Where are [you]186-jameson going ? ”[2959-i] “ Oh , more training , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i lie . “ [Jesus]107-jesus , [you]107-jesus ’ll be more qualified than [anyone on this floor]2958-anyone on this floor soon . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i know . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ Back soon . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i take [the elevator]375-the elevator up to the top floor , and the doors open . [I]2959-i can hardly keep a straight face . [He]246-alan ’s here . [I]2959-i want to run . “ Good morning , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[246-alan] [Sammia]246-alan smiles . “ Just go through . ”[246-alan] “ Morning . Okay , thanks . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i walk through and down to [[Jameson]186-jameson ’s office]2600-jameson ’s office , and [I]2959-i knock on the door . “ Come in , ”[246-alan] [his]246-alan deep velvety voice calls . [I]2959-i open the door , and [his]246-alan eyes come to [me]2959-i with the best “ come fuck [me]246-alan ”[246-alan] look [I]2959-i ’ve ever seen . [My]2959-i breath catches . Standing by the window in [his]246-alan navy suit and crisp white shirt , [he]246-alan is [the ultimate male specimen]246-alan . [I]2959-i forgot how gorgeous [he]246-alan is . [He]246-alan gives [me]2959-i a slow , sexy smile . “ Hello . ”[246-alan] “ Hi , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i breathe . [I]2959-i have to stop [myself]2959-i from running to [him]246-alan . The air crackles between [us]1345-us , and [he]246-alan walks to [me]2959-i and takes [my]2959-i face in [his]246-alan hands and kisses [me]2959-i , all suction and a little tongue . [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i legs go weak at the knees . “ [I]246-alan ’ve missed [[my]246-alan girl]2959-i , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan murmurs against [my]2959-i lips . [I]2959-i smile , and [he]246-alan wraps [my]2959-i ponytail around [his]246-alan hand three times and pulls [my]2959-i head back aggressively . [His]246-alan thick tongue goes to [my]2959-i collarbone and licks up to [my]2959-i neck . “ Have [you]2959-i missed [me]246-alan ? ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan asks as [his]246-alan teeth nip [my]2959-i neck . [I]2959-i wince as arousal runs through [my]2959-i blood like a river rapid . Jesus , [the CEO]2388-the ceo is back in all [his]2388-the ceo glory . “ God , yes , ”[2388-the ceo] [I]2959-i breathe . [He]246-alan kisses [me]2959-i again , and the door opens . “ Hey , ”[246-alan] [Tristan]2430-tristan ’s voice calls before [he]246-alan stops instantly . “ Not now , [Tristan]2430-tristan , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson says without letting [my]2959-i ponytail go . [His]246-alan dark eyes stay fixed on [mine]2959-i . [My]2959-i heart races at the way [he]246-alan ’s looking at [me]2959-i . [He]246-alan ’s different . . . more intense . “ Sorry , ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan says before the door closes . [He]246-alan kisses [me]2959-i again , [my]2959-i head held back just as [he]246-alan wants [me]2959-i . “ [I]246-alan want to make a go of this . ”[246-alan] “ Of what ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i breathe . “ Of [us]2960-we . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i thought [we]2960-we were ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ No . [We]2960-we were fucking before . Now [I]246-alan want [you]246-alan . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan bites [my]2959-i neck , and [I]2959-i whimper . “ [I]246-alan want all of [you]246-alan . ”[246-alan] [His]246-alan hand grabs [my]2959-i behind , and [he]246-alan pulls [me]2959-i against [his]246-alan waiting hard cock . Oh jeez . . . welcome [home]2289-home . [I]2959-i kiss [his]246-alan big lips . “ Okay . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan holds [my]2959-i face in [his]246-alan hands and stares down at [me]2959-i as the air leaves [my]2959-i lungs . “ Tonight . [My]246-alan place , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan breathes . [I]2959-i smile softly as [my]2959-i sex begins to throb in anticipation . “ Yes . ”[2959-i] “ Do [you]246-alan want to go out for dinner ? ”[246-alan] “ No , [I]246-alan want to cook . Do [you]246-alan have groceries ? ”[246-alan] [His]246-alan brow furrows . “ [I]246-alan ’ll get [Alan]246-alan to pick something up . ”[246-alan] “ No . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ [I]246-alan want to go to [the grocery store]2961-the grocery store . ”[246-alan] [His]246-alan hands roam up and down [my]2959-i body as if [he]246-alan does n’t know where to start . “ Take [the limo]1159-a limo . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i screw up [my]2959-i face . “ [I]246-alan ’m not going to [the grocery store in [a limo]1159-a limo]2961-the grocery store . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan grabs [my]2959-i hand and places it over the huge erection in [his]246-alan suit pants , and [I]2959-i grab it as [his]246-alan eyes flicker in arousal . “ [I]246-alan need [you]246-alan , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan breathes as [he]246-alan bites [my]2959-i bottom lip . “ Oh God , [me]246-alan too . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i pull out of [his]246-alan grip as [I]2959-i pant . “ [I]2959-i have to get back to work . ”[2959-i] God . . . it would be so easy to stay here and fuck [the boss]1348-the boss instead . “ [I]2959-i ’ll have [Alan]246-alan deliver [the car]369-the car to [you]246-alan . [You]246-alan use it from now on . ”[2959-i] “ [The car]369-the car ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . [He]246-alan has [a car]369-the car ? “ Just use it as [your]246-alan own . ”[246-alan] [His]246-alan hands grind [me]2959-i onto [his]246-alan body . [He]246-alan ’s completely preoccupied with arousal . “ [I]246-alan only need it to do groceries just today . Do n’t bother [Alan]246-alan . [I]246-alan can get it from [[your]246-alan apartment]2745-your apartment . ”[246-alan] “ [[Our]2964-our apartment]2745-your apartment . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan bites [my]2959-i neck as [he]246-alan really begins to eat [me]2959-i . Goose bumps scatter all over [my]2959-i body . “ Huh ? ”[246-alan] “ [You]246-alan ’ll be moving in with [me]246-alan . ”[246-alan] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pull out of [his]246-alan arms as [my]2959-i arousal fog temporarily lifts . “ What did [you]246-alan say ? ”[246-alan] [His]246-alan dark eyes dance with delight . “ If [I]246-alan ’m doing this , [I]246-alan ’m fucking doing this . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i stare at [him]246-alan . What the hell ? “ [I]246-alan do n’t do things by half , [Emily]186-jameson . If [you]186-jameson ’re with [me]246-alan , [you]186-jameson ’re with [me]246-alan . ”[246-alan] “ [Jameson]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Have [you]186-jameson gone crazy ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]246-alan have meetings scheduled back to back all day , or [I]246-alan would be bending [you]186-jameson over [my]246-alan desk right now . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan turns [me]2959-i around and slaps [me]2959-i on the behind . “ Now get back to work before [I]246-alan do it . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i pant as [I]2959-i stare at the door . A visual of [me]2959-i lying across [his]246-alan desk with [my]2959-i legs open swirls through [my]2959-i head . How am [I]2959-i supposed to string two thoughts together after [he]246-alan says that ? “ Yes , [sir]246-alan . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i begin to walk to the door . “ Oh , and [Emily]186-jameson , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan calls in [his]246-alan commanding voice . [I]2959-i turn . “ [I]2959-i will be announcing today that [we]2965-we are in a relationship . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i stare at [him]246-alan . Confusion swirls around in [my]2959-i head . “ Why ? ”[2959-i] “ Because [I]246-alan hate speculation . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan pauses as [his]246-alan eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ And [I]246-alan want [everyone]2304-everyone to know that [you]246-alan ’re [mine]2959-i . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i stare at [him]246-alan . Huh ? [His]246-alan . [I]2959-i have no words . . . rendered completely speechless . “ Oh . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [him]246-alan . “ Okay ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i turn and walk toward [the foyer]670-the foyer . “ Goodbye , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i mutter , distracted . Either [Jameson Miles]186-jameson has gone completely crazy , or [I]2959-i am in a parallel universe . Two hours later , [I]2959-i sit and stare at [my]2959-i computer . [I]2959-i was too freaked out to talk about this morning ’s Twilight Zone encounter in [[Jameson]186-jameson ’s office]2600-jameson ’s office when [I]2959-i returned . It ’s taken [me]2959-i this long to get [my]2959-i head around what [he]246-alan said . [I]2959-i ’ve come to the conclusion that [he]246-alan ’s obviously jet lagged to holy hell and is suffering some kind of delusion . [My]2959-i phone dances across [my]2959-i desk , and [my]2959-i favorite letter appears . J. [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i answer . “ Hello , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles . ”[2959-i] “ How ’s [[my]246-alan girl]2959-i ? ”[246-alan] [his]246-alan sexy voice purrs down the line . “ Are [you]2959-i feeling all right ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ [I]2959-i ’m feeling great . Why ? ”[2959-i] “ [You]2959-i just seem very . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pause as [I]2959-i think of the right word . “ Odd . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan laughs [his]246-alan deep velvety laugh , and [I]2959-i feel it all the way to [my]2959-i bones . “ [I]2959-i do n’t feel odd . ”[2959-i] “ [You]2959-i ’re acting odd . ”[246-alan] “ [I]246-alan ’m just calling to tell [you]2959-i that [we]2968-we have a dinner tomorrow night . ”[246-alan] “ What dinner ? ”[2959-i] “ The Media Awards , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan replies calmly . “ The Media Awards , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i repeat . “ Yes , that ’s what [I]2959-i said . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look around at [[my]2959-i two work friends]1352-my two work friends , who are completely oblivious to the crazy shit that ’s coming out of [[my]2959-i running partner]1353-my running partner ’s mouth . “ Where is it ? ”[1353-my running partner] “ Here in [New York]385-new york . [[My]2959-i entire family]2969-my entire family will be there . [You]2970-you ’ll get to meet [everyone]2304-everyone . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes widen in horror . “ Well , what ’s the dress code ? ”[2959-i] “ Black tie . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i feel the blood drain from [my]2959-i face . “ [I]2959-i do n’t have any evening dresses here , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . [I]2959-i do n’t have any at [home]2289-home either , but [he]246-alan does n’t need to know that . “ That ’s okay . [I]246-alan ’ll have some things delivered [home]2289-home tonight , and [you]2970-you can pick what [you]2970-you want to wear . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i scratch [my]2959-i head in confusion . “ [I]2959-i ’ll just come to the next one , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say . “ [I]2959-i ’ll wait at [home]2289-home in bed for [you]2970-you . The Media Awards are n’t really [my]2959-i jam . ”[2959-i] “ [Emily]186-jameson , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan says calmly . “ Yes . ”[246-alan] “ [You]2970-you are coming with [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] “ [Jay]108-jay , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [I]2959-i feel nerves rise in [my]2959-i throat . “ [I]2959-i ’ll see [you]2970-you tonight . [I]2959-i ’ll be a little late as [I]2959-i have a conference call . [Alan]246-alan is going to meet [you]2970-you out the side entrance at five with the keys to [the car]369-the car and [the apartment]2627-the apartment . ”[2959-i] “ Okay . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i puff air into [my]2959-i cheeks . “ See [you]2970-you then . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hang up and put [my]2959-i head into [my]2959-i hands . “ What ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly asks . “ [Jameson]186-jameson has gone insane . ”[198-molly] “ Why ? ”[198-molly] “ [He]186-jameson told [me]0-aaron this morning that [I]0-aaron ’m moving in with [him]186-jameson , and now [he]186-jameson wants [me]0-aaron to go to some awards dinner with [[his]186-jameson entire family]2974-his entire family tomorrow night . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron ’s and [Molly]198-molly ’s eyes widen . “ What ? ”[0-aaron] “ And [he]186-jameson gave [me]198-molly [[his]186-jameson car]2417-his car to use , but [I]198-molly do n’t even know where [a grocery store]2976-a grocery store is in [New York]385-new york . ”[198-molly] “ Oh , [you]2977-you would go to the one on Fifth . ”[0-aaron] “ Well , how do [I]2959-i get there ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ It ’s on [my]2959-i way . [I]2959-i can go with [you]2977-you if [you]2977-you want , and [I]2959-i ’ll get on [the subway]2666-the subway from there . ”[2959-i] “ Are [you]2977-you sure ? ”[198-molly] “ Yeah , [I]2959-i have n’t got [the kids]452-the kids this week anyway . It ’s not like [I]2959-i ’m doing anything . ”[2959-i] It ’s five in the afternoon , and [we]1355-we have just finished work . “ Where did [he]2959-i say it would be ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly asks as [she]198-molly links [her]198-molly arm through [mine]1356-mine as [we]1355-we exit [the Miles Media building]521-the miles media building through the front doors . “ Around here to [the side exit]2980-the side exit . ”[198-molly] “ What are [you]2977-you going to cook ? ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly asks . “ Hmm , rib eye with a mushroom sauce , honey carrots , and broccolini . ”[198-molly] “ Hmm , yum . [Lucky bastard]2981-lucky bastard . Wish [someone]2326-someone was coming over to cook that shit for [me]198-molly . ”[198-molly] “ True . ”[1355-we] [We]1355-we turn the corner and look up and both stop dead on the spot . “ What the fuck ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [Alan]246-alan is standing next to what looks like a time machine , and [my]2959-i eyes widen in horror . Black , low slung , and [the sportiest looking car [I]2959-i ’ve ever seen]1358-the sportiest looking car i ’ve ever seen . The mag wheels alone probably cost more than [an average car]369-the car . [Alan]246-alan smiles warmly . “ Hello , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i look at [the car]369-the car and then at [the people]1360-the people walking past as [they]1360-the people stare at it . “ Hi . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan passes [me]2959-i the key and then a card . “ This is for [the car]369-the car , and this is [your]186-jameson new key to [the apartment]2627-the apartment . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i stare at [them]1360-the people in [my]2959-i hand . “ This is [the car]369-the car ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as the blood drains from [my]2959-i face . [He]246-alan chuckles at [my]2959-i reaction . [Molly]198-molly puts [her]198-molly hands over [her]198-molly mouth and begins to laugh nervously , reminding [me]2959-i that [she]198-molly ’s here . “ This is [Molly]198-molly , [[my]198-molly friend]198-molly , ”[198-molly] [I]2959-i introduce [her]198-molly . “ Hello . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly smiles . “ [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles asked [me]198-molly to make a time with [you]79-mr. miles to move [your]79-mr. miles things out of [[your]79-mr. miles apartment]2745-your apartment . ”[198-molly] [My]2959-i eyes nearly pop from [their]1361-their sockets . “ What ? ”[198-molly] “ Would Saturday morning suit [you]79-mr. miles ? [I]2959-i can arrange a packing service . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes flick to [Molly]198-molly as [she]198-molly stares wide eyed at [me]2959-i . Okay , what the actual fuck is going on here ? “ [I]2959-i ’ll get back to [you]79-mr. miles on that , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply . [He]2959-i smiles kindly . “ Okay . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i opens the car door . “ So [you]79-mr. miles know how to drive a manual , obviously . ”[2959-i] “ Can [you]79-mr. miles just hold on a minute . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hold [my]2959-i finger up . “ Just a minute . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i turn [my]2959-i back on them and dial [Jameson]186-jameson ’s number . “ Hello , ”[2959-i] [his]2959-i sexy voice purrs . “ What the hell kind of [car]1349-a car is this ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ A Bugatti . ”[2959-i] “ What ’s that ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [I]2959-i turn back and look at it . “ A Bugatti Veyron . It ’s a limited edition . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i ca n’t drive this , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper angrily . “ Why not ? ”[2959-i] “ Well . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look around in a fluster . “ [I]2959-i ’m not [a very good driver]2986-a very good driver , [Jameson]186-jameson . [I]2959-i ’m going to crash this thing for sure . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i laughs , and it ’s deep and velvety and makes [me]2959-i smile . “ [I]2959-i assure [you]2959-i , [Emily]186-jameson , [anyone]272-anyone can drive [this car]1349-a car . It practically drives itself . Relax . [You]2959-i ’ll be fine . ”[2959-i] “ When [you]2959-i said [you]2959-i had [a car]1349-a car , [I]2959-i thought [you]2959-i meant [you]2959-i had a Toyota . . . like [a normal person]2988-a normal person , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . “ What if [I]2959-i crash it ? ”[2959-i] “ As long as [you]2959-i ’re not injured , [I]2959-i do n’t care . ”[2959-i] “ [Jameson]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [Babe]190-babe , [I]2959-i ’m in a staff meeting right now with [twenty people]2989-twenty people sitting [here]385-new york . Get what [you]2959-i need , and [I]2959-i ’ll meet [you]2959-i at [home]2289-home , ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i says calmly . “ Oh [my]2959-i God , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i cry as [I]2959-i get an image of all [[his]2959-i staff]1362-his staff listening . “ Goodbye . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hang up in a rush . [I]2959-i come back to [Alan]246-alan and [Molly]198-molly , and [they]1363-they both wait for [me]2959-i to say something . “ It seems [Jameson]186-jameson has gone completely crazy , ”[1363-they] [I]2959-i whisper as [I]2959-i stare at the time machine . [Alan]246-alan chuckles , and [Molly]198-molly stares at [the car]369-the car in disbelief . “ [I]2959-i thought it would be a Toyota . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i wince . [Alan]246-alan smiles and opens [the driver]530-the driver ’s side door . “ [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles does n’t do Toyota , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i get in , and [Molly]198-molly sits in the passenger seat . “ Where are [you]186-jameson going ? ”[246-alan] [Alan]246-alan asks . “ [Vegas]27-vegas . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly laughs . “ [We]2992-we ’re going to [Vegas]27-vegas . How much is this car worth , [Alan]246-alan ? ”[198-molly] “ It came in at around two million dollars , [I]198-molly think . ”[198-molly] “ Holy fuck , ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly shrieks . “ Get in , [Alan]246-alan ; [we]2992-we really are going to fucking [Vegas]27-vegas . ”[198-molly] [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i head down on the steering wheel and burst out laughing . “ This is unbelievable . ”[2959-i] “ [You]246-alan ’ll be fine . ”[246-alan] [Alan]246-alan laughs as [he]246-alan leans in and starts [the car]369-the car . It purrs like a kitten . “ Blinker , brake , reverse . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan points to all the dials and knobs . “ Take it slow . It flies . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan closes the door , and [I]2959-i put the blinker on . [I]2959-i slowly take off into the traffic to the sound of [Molly]198-molly screaming and laughing in excitement , and as soon as [I]2959-i get out of sight of [Alan]246-alan , [I]2959-i burst out laughing too . “ What the fuck is going on ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i cry . Two hours later , [I]2959-i pull into [the underground parking lot of [[Jameson]186-jameson ’s building]1368-jameson ’s building]1367-the underground parking lot of jameson ’s building . [I]2959-i know why [he]246-alan takes [the damn limo]1369-the damn limo — finding a parking spot in [this city]2-the city is insane . In the end , [I]2959-i made [Molly]198-molly sit in [the car]369-the car in [the parking lot]1371-the parking lot and wait for [me]2959-i while [I]2959-i grabbed what [I]2959-i needed , and then [I]2959-i drove [her]198-molly [home]2289-home . [I]2959-i was petrified [someone]2326-someone was going to steal it . [Alan]246-alan is waiting , and [he]246-alan guides [me]2959-i into [the garage]2907-the garage , where [I]2959-i park . “ Thank [you]246-alan . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i get the groceries out of the trunk . “ This is [a poser car]369-the car , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . [He]246-alan smirks as [he]246-alan takes the bags from [me]2959-i , and [we]1375-we begin walking to [the elevator]375-the elevator . “ Did [you]246-alan lock [the car]369-the car , [Emily]186-jameson ? ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan reminds [me]2959-i . “ Oh yeah . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i turn and hold the remote up , and it blips as it locks . [I]2959-i giggle . “ Oops . ”[2959-i] [We]1375-we get into [the elevator]375-the elevator , and [he]246-alan stays silent and looking straight ahead . “ How long have [you]246-alan worked for [Jameson]186-jameson ? ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i ask . “ Ten years . ”[2959-i] “ Oh . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ That ’s a long time . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan smiles . “ Yes , [he]246-alan ’s very good to [me]246-alan . ”[246-alan] [We]1375-we get to the top , and [Alan]246-alan opens the door and walks in and puts the groceries on the counter . “ Do [you]246-alan need anything ? ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan asks . “ [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles is still in [his]246-alan meeting . [He]246-alan will be at least another half an hour . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes hold [his]246-alan , and [I]2959-i want to ask [him]246-alan a million questions about the enigmatic [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles . “ Do [you]246-alan speak to [him]246-alan often throughout the day ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ No . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan smiles at the suggestion . “ [I]246-alan am in constant contact with [[his]246-alan PA]2994-his pa . ”[246-alan] “ Oh . ”[246-alan] “ [[His]246-alan masseuse]2994-his pa is expected here at seven . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan glances at [his]246-alan watch . “ Would [you]2994-his pa like [me]246-alan to wait for [her]2994-his pa ? ”[246-alan] “ [Her]2994-his pa ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ Oh . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan corrects [himself]246-alan . “ It ’s a [him]246-alan now , is n’t it ? ”[246-alan] Something tells [me]2959-i that [Alan]246-alan knows a lot more about [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles than [he]246-alan makes out . “ No , [I]2959-i ’m fine . [I]2959-i ’ll let [him]246-alan in . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i fake a smile . “ Thank [you]246-alan . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i show [him]246-alan to the door . “ Call [me]246-alan if [you]246-alan need anything . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan smiles . “ Okay , thanks . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i walk back to [the kitchen]683-the kitchen and begin to put the groceries away , and the doorbell chimes . “ Hello , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say as [I]2959-i push the intercom . “ Hello , [I]2959-i ’m here for the massage . ”[2959-i] “ Come up . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i open the door and wait for [him]246-alan to arrive . “ Hello . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan smiles . “ [Same room]1125-same room as last time ? ”[246-alan] “ Yes , please . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan takes off down [the hallway]1125-same room to set up . The door clicks open , and [Jameson]186-jameson comes into view . Every time [I]2959-i see [him]246-alan in a suit , [I]2959-i am reminded of exactly who [he]246-alan is . [Power personified]1379-power personified . “ Hello . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan smiles as [he]246-alan takes [me]2959-i into [his]246-alan arms . “ Hi . ”[246-alan] [His]246-alan lips dust [mine]2959-i , and [I]2959-i melt into [his]246-alan touch . “ [[Your]246-alan car]399-sky bar is ridiculous . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . [He]246-alan chuckles as [he]246-alan takes [my]2959-i jaw in [his]246-alan hand ; then [he]246-alan kisses [me]2959-i deeper , and [my]2959-i hands go around [his]246-alan broad neck . The intercom sounds again . “ For [God]0-aaron ’s sake , [this place]399-sky bar is like [an airport]2996-an airport , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper , annoyed that [my]2959-i kiss is being interrupted . “ Oh , that ’s the stylists with [your]2997-your dresses , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan says . “ [Your]2997-your masseuse is set up in [the end room]2998-the end room . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan kisses [me]2959-i again . “ Let them in , and choose what [you]2997-your want . ”[246-alan] “ [Jay]108-jay , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [my]2959-i eyes search [his]246-alan . This change in [him]246-alan is confusing [me]2959-i . “ Get a few . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan grabs [my]2959-i behind . “ [I]246-alan ’m going to take a quick shower . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan disappears up [the hall]611-the hall , and [I]2959-i open the front door . [My]2959-i face falls when [I]2959-i see [the two gorgeous women]1381-the two gorgeous women pushing a huge garment rack of gorgeous dresses . “ Hello . ”[1381-the two gorgeous women] One is tall with long dark hair , and the other is blonde and beautiful . Both have that trendy , confident vibe . “ Hello , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles ordered some dresses , ”[1382-the blonde] [the blonde]1382-the blonde says . “ [I]1382-the blonde ’m [Celeste]191-celeste , and this is [Saba]192-saba . ”[1382-the blonde] “ Yes , please come in , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper , embarrassed . “ [I]1381-the two gorgeous women ’m [Emily]186-jameson . ”[1381-the two gorgeous women] [We]1381-the two gorgeous women shake hands . God , do n’t tell [me]2959-i [they]1381-the two gorgeous women are going to watch [me]2959-i try this shit on ? How mortifying . “ Just in here . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i show [them]1381-the two gorgeous women to [the living area]765-the living area , and [they]1381-the two gorgeous women start to unpack shoes and accessories as [I]2959-i watch awkwardly . This seems all very over the top . “ Back in a moment . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . [I]2959-i turn and take off up to [the bedroom]300-the bathroom , and [I]2959-i burst into [the bathroom]300-the bathroom to find [Jay]108-jay washing under the shower . “ What the hell is going on ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper in a panic . “ What ? ”[108-jay] [He]108-jay frowns , totally oblivious . “ [Two Penthouse Pets]2999-two penthouse pets are out there with a load of dresses that are way too exotic for [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i ’m driving around in a fucking space machine , and [you]3000-you ’re saying [I]2959-i ’m moving in , and [I]2959-i ’m freaking the fucking hell out , [Jameson]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i blurt out in a rush . [He]108-jay smirks as [he]108-jay turns the taps off . “ Just go out there , and pick what [you]3000-you like , [Emily]186-jameson . Do n’t overthink this . ”[108-jay] “ Do n’t overthink this , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ It ’s overthunk already . ”[2959-i] “ [Overthunk]193-overthunk is n’t a word , ”[108-jay] [he]108-jay says casually as [he]108-jay dries [himself]108-jay . “ Oh [my]108-jay God , ”[108-jay] [I]2959-i stammer in a fluster at [his]108-jay lack of care , and [I]2959-i storm back out to [the stylists]1385-the stylists . “ Sorry , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say as [I]2959-i stand next to the rack of clothes . [I]2959-i twist [my]2959-i fingers nervously in front of [me]2959-i . “ Tell [me]0-aaron about [your]0-aaron style . ”[0-aaron] [The blonde]0-aaron smiles . “ What makes [you]0-aaron pop ? ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i stare at [her]0-aaron . Oh jeez . What the fuck is this bullshit ? “ Umm . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look at the dresses on the rack . “ What makes [you]0-aaron come alive and feel sexy ? ”[0-aaron] [the brunette gushes]0-aaron . “ When are [you]0-aaron living [your]0-aaron best life ? ”[0-aaron] Oh , [Jesus]107-jesus . . . not this . “ [I]0-aaron ’ll just”—I[0-aaron] gesture to the rack of clothes—“see what [I]2959-i like . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i begin to flick through the dresses . Wow . . . [they]1387-they ’re all beautiful . “ Anything [you]0-aaron like , [sweetheart]0-aaron ? ”[1387-they] [I]2959-i hear [Jameson]186-jameson ’s deep voice purr from behind [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i turn to see [him]186-jameson with a white towel around [his]186-jameson waist . [His]186-jameson hair is wet , and [his]186-jameson tanned muscles are bulging . [He]186-jameson looks fucking edible . [The two bimbos]1388-the two bimbos ’ eyes bulge from [their]1388-the two bimbos sockets . “ Hello , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles , ”[1388-the two bimbos] [they]1388-the two bimbos both stammer as [their]1388-the two bimbos eyes drop down [his]186-jameson body . “ Hello . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smiles sexily . [I]2959-i look at [him]186-jameson deadpan . Is [he]186-jameson for real ? “ [I]2959-i ’m not sure . [I]2959-i like everything , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap as [I]2959-i turn back to the rack . In a fucking towel . . . what next ? [Ugh]61-ugh . [He]186-jameson comes behind [me]2959-i and puts one hand on [my]2959-i hip as [he]186-jameson goes through the rack . “ [We]3001-we ’ll take this one , this one . . . this one . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson scans the rest of the rack . “ And all of these from here on . ”[186-jameson] “ Yes , [sir]186-jameson , ”[1388-the two bimbos] [they]1388-the two bimbos both gush . [His]186-jameson eyes go over the shoes and lingerie [they]1388-the two bimbos have laid out on the coffee table . “ [We]3001-we ’ll take all of the lingerie and whatever shoes [Emily]186-jameson chooses . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson eyes come to [me]2959-i , and [he]186-jameson smiles and leans in and kisses [me]2959-i . “ Done . ”[905-the girls] [The two women]905-the girls hold [their]905-the girls breath as [they]905-the girls watch . [His]186-jameson hand drops to [my]2959-i behind , and [he]186-jameson gives [me]2959-i a firm squeeze . “ Nice to meet [you]2959-i , [girls]905-the girls , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson says before [he]186-jameson saunters up [the hall]611-the hall for [his]186-jameson massage . [I]2959-i turn back to [the girls]905-the girls as [they]905-the girls watch [him]186-jameson disappear in awe . Good grief . [I]2959-i think [I]2959-i just met the real [Jameson Miles]186-jameson . . . in all [his]186-jameson glory . Chapter 17 [I]2959-i stir the mushroom sauce with [my]2959-i mind in overdrive . [Jameson]186-jameson ’s different . . . [I]2959-i ’m talking Twilight Zone different . [I]2959-i ’m not sure if it ’s a good thing or the beginning of the end for [us]1391-we . Just when [I]2959-i get used to [his]186-jameson old weirdness , [he]186-jameson ups the ante . [The masseuse]1392-the masseuse has just left , and [he]186-jameson ’s in the shower again as [he]186-jameson washes the oil off . [I]2959-i ’m not going in there because [we]1391-we will end up having sex , and dinner is nearly ready . . . and [I]2959-i want to talk to [him]186-jameson without [my]2959-i arousal high clouding [my]2959-i brain cells . It happens a lot with [him]186-jameson . [He]186-jameson walks back out in [his]186-jameson towel , and [his]186-jameson eyes find [me]2959-i across [the room]514-the room . [He]186-jameson gives [me]2959-i a slow , sexy smile . “ Can [you]3002-you not walk around in a towel when [we]1391-we have visitors , please ? ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i snap . [He]186-jameson smirks . “ [Those two ditzy shoppers]3003-those two ditzy shoppers are at [home]2289-home going to [town]2456-town on [their]3003-those two ditzy shoppers vibrators at this very moment as [they]3003-those two ditzy shoppers picture [you]3002-you in that white towel . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . “ Living their”—I[2959-i] hold [my]2959-i fingers up to accentuate [my]2959-i point—“best life . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson chuckles as [he]186-jameson takes [me]2959-i in [his]186-jameson arms . “ Jealous ? ”[186-jameson] “ Yes , [I]2959-i am , actually . [I]2959-i do n’t like [other women looking at [you]3002-you]3006-other women looking at you . It makes [me]2959-i stabby , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap as [I]2959-i stir the sauce . “ Cut it out with the sexy smiling around [other women]1002-other women too . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson lips come to [my]2959-i neck as [he]186-jameson holds [me]2959-i from behind , and [I]2959-i can feel [his]186-jameson erection up against [my]2959-i behind . “ Let ’s go to bed . ”[2959-i] “ No , [you]186-jameson ’re eating first . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i point to the kitchen counter . “ Sit . ”[2959-i] [His]186-jameson eyes dance in delight , and [he]186-jameson does as [he]186-jameson ’s told . [I]2959-i place [his]186-jameson dinner in front of [him]186-jameson . “ Hmm , looks good . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smiles . [I]2959-i sit beside [him]186-jameson and watch [him]186-jameson for a moment as [he]186-jameson eats . “ Why did [you]186-jameson ask [Alan]246-alan to move [my]186-jameson stuff in here ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson chews [his]186-jameson steak . “ Because [I]186-jameson want [you]186-jameson to move in . ”[186-jameson] “ Since when ? [We]3008-we have n’t discussed this at all . ”[186-jameson] “ Yes , [we]3008-we have . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson swallows [his]186-jameson food . “ [We]3008-we talked about it this morning . ”[186-jameson] “ When ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ When [I]2959-i told [you]186-jameson that [I]2959-i wanted to do this , and [you]186-jameson said [me]2959-i too . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [him]186-jameson , [my]2959-i mind a clusterfuck of confusion . “ [Jameson]186-jameson , doing this is in [my]186-jameson mind holding hands in public and dating . Maybe meeting [[each other]2339-each other ’s families]2339-each other . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson frowns as [he]186-jameson watches [me]2959-i . “ What ’s with the sudden change ? Last week [you]186-jameson got angry with [me]186-jameson for falling in love with [you]186-jameson . [I]186-jameson could n’t even look at [you]186-jameson after sex without [you]186-jameson getting upset with [me]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson sips [his]186-jameson wine , obviously annoyed . “ [You]186-jameson said [you]186-jameson did n’t love [me]186-jameson . Are [you]186-jameson saying that now [you]186-jameson do ? ”[186-jameson] “ That ’s not the point . [You]186-jameson know what [I]186-jameson mean . ”[186-jameson] “ [I]186-jameson want [us]3010-us to make a go of it . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson shrugs . “ So today [I]186-jameson moved forward with [my]186-jameson plans . ”[186-jameson] “ Plans ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ [I]186-jameson ’m not a business transaction , [Jameson]186-jameson . [You]186-jameson do n’t move forward with [your]186-jameson plans without talking to [me]186-jameson first . [They]3011-they are n’t just [your]186-jameson plans , [you]186-jameson know . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson clenches [his]186-jameson jaw , unimpressed , as [his]186-jameson eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ There are two people in this relationship , [Jay]108-jay , and [me]186-jameson loving [you]186-jameson does not mean [you]186-jameson get to take [me]186-jameson over . ”[186-jameson] “ [I]186-jameson know that , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson snaps . “ So [you]186-jameson do love [me]186-jameson now ? Make up [your]186-jameson mind , [woman]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] “ Stop changing the subject . Do [you]186-jameson understand what [I]186-jameson ’m saying to [you]186-jameson ? ”[186-jameson] “ Yes , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson sighs as if [he]186-jameson ’s getting lectured by [the school principal]1394-the school principal . “ [I]2959-i just do n’t know why [you]186-jameson ’ve had this sudden change of heart . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . “ It ’s peculiar . ”[2959-i] “ [My]2959-i heart has n’t changed at all . [My]2959-i situation has . ”[2959-i] “ What does that mean ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . [He]186-jameson exhales heavily . “ [I]186-jameson went and saw [Claudia]57-claudia in [London]6-london . ”[186-jameson] Oh no , [[his]186-jameson ex]289-my ex . [I]2959-i ’m not supposed to know that . [I]2959-i had better play dumb . “ Who ’s [Claudia]57-claudia ? ”[2959-i] “ [[My]2959-i ex]289-my ex . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i try [my]2959-i hardest to hold [my]2959-i tongue . Act calm , act calm . “ [I]2959-i broke it off with [her]57-claudia . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes widen in horror . “ What the hell ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ [You]57-claudia were still with [her]57-claudia ? ”[2959-i] “ No , but [we]3012-we had promised each other that [we]3012-we would n’t date [anyone else seriously]3013-anyone else seriously . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i begin to break into a cold sweat as [I]2959-i try to hold it together . “ Why ? ”[2959-i] “ Because [we]3012-we planned on getting back together in a few years . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i knew it ; [I]2959-i knew it back then that something was off . Damn it , why did n’t [I]2959-i see the writing on the wall ? [I]2959-i pick up [my]2959-i wineglass and drain it as [I]2959-i stare at [him]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in . Jeez , this is news . Bad news . “ [I]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in told [her]57-claudia [I]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in have strong feelings for [you]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in . ”[1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in] “ [You]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in did ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown as a tiny piece of hope blooms in [my]2959-i chest . [He]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in smiles and tucks a piece of hair behind [my]2959-i ear . “ [I]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in did . ”[1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in] “ What else did [you]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in say ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask calmly . [I]2959-i want to blurt out a million questions about [the two of [them]2419-the two of them]2419-the two of them . “ That it was over between [us]2419-the two of them . ”[2959-i] “ Did [you]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in love [her]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in ? ”[1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in] “ Yes . ”[1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in] [He]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in pauses for a moment as if contemplating that statement . “ In [my]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in own way , [I]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in did . In hindsight , [I]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in realize that [our]2419-the two of them relationship was never normal . Not like [ours]2419-the two of them is anyway . ”[1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in] [I]2959-i stare at [him]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in , lost for words . Grateful that [he]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in ’s finally being honest and yet terrified that [their]1398-their union was so strong that it withstood an open relationship . There ’s no way in hell [I]2959-i could ever do that . “ [You]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in think [our]2419-the two of them relationship is normal ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . [He]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in smiles and leans in and kisses [me]2959-i softly . “ Do n’t [you]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in ? ”[1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in] “ No . To [me]2959-i [our]2419-the two of them relationship is exciting and wonderful and exotic . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [him]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in . “ Normal gets boring very quick , [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ [I]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in told [her]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in that [I]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in want to build a future with [you]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in . ”[1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in] Okay , that sounds a bit better . [I]2959-i smirk as [I]2959-i try to hold in a smile . “ [I]2959-i also told [her]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in that [I]2959-i ’ve had feelings for [you]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in since the day [we]2419-the two of them met and that [you]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in are [the only woman [I]2959-i want to be with from here on in]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in . ”[2959-i] A broad , goofy smile does break through this time . “ Did [you]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in tell [her]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in [I]2959-i had motorized sneakers ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [He]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in chuckles , and [his]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in eyes twinkle with something special as [he]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in cups [my]2959-i face in [his]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in hand . “ [I]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in did . ”[1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in] “ What does this mean , [Jay]108-jay ? ”[1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in] [My]2959-i eyes search [his]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in . “ For [us]2419-the two of them . ”[1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in] “ It means that [I]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in ’m all [yours]2959-i . ”[1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in] [He]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in shrugs . “ If [you]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in want [me]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in . ”[1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in] What ? All [mine]2959-i ? [I]2959-i blink . . . in shock . “ Have [you]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in been holding [yourself]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in back from [me]2959-i all this time ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in have , and [I]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in ca n’t do it any longer . ”[1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in] “ What does this mean . . . for [us]2419-the two of them ? ”[2959-i] “ It means [I]2959-i want [you]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in to move in , and [we]2419-the two of them go full steam ahead from here . ”[2959-i] “ What ’s the rush ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ Ca n’t [we]2419-the two of them ease into it ? ”[1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in] [He]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in leans in and kisses [me]2959-i softly ; [his]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in big blue eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ [I]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in do n’t do things in halves , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in] “ Meaning ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Meaning that [[my]2959-i woman]186-jameson is [my]2959-i world . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [him]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in as the air leaves [my]2959-i lungs . “ [I]2959-i work hard . . . but [I]2959-i love harder . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i heartbeat sounds through [my]2959-i ears . Is this really happening ? “ [I]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in ’m in love with [you]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in , [Emily Foster]186-jameson . ”[1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in] [He]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in leans in and kisses [me]2959-i slowly . [His]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in tongue swipes through [my]2959-i open lips with such emotion that [I]2959-i get a lump in [my]2959-i throat . “ [I]1399-i ca n’t help it . [I]1399-i tried to stop it , and [I]1399-i could n’t . [I]1399-i think [I]1399-i ’ve loved [you]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in since [our]3014-our first night together in [Boston]385-new york . [You]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in stayed with [me]1399-i . [I]1399-i fought it , and still , [I]1399-i could n’t forget [you]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in . [I]1399-i ’ve been carrying [your]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in scarf around like [a lovesick fool]3015-a lovesick fool for more than a year . ”[1399-i] [I]2959-i stare at [him]1399-i . “ So please forgive [me]2959-i if [I]2959-i want to go full steam ahead . This is not a snap decision . It ’s been coming for a long time , and now that [I]2959-i ’m in a position to act on it , [I]2959-i do n’t want to waste any more time . [I]2959-i want [you]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in with [me]2959-i . By [my]2959-i side . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [him]1399-i while [my]2959-i brain catches up . What the . . . ? [Holy shit]69-holy fucking shit . [He]1399-i picks up [his]1399-i knife and fork . “ Now [I]1399-i ’m going to eat [his]1399-i beautiful dinner that [you]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in ’ve made for [me]1399-i , and then [I]1399-i ’m going to take [you]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in to bed and make [you]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in forget everything that [I]1399-i said to [you]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in about not falling for [me]1399-i , and then , hopefully , [you]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in can show [me]1399-i that [you]1396-the only woman i want to be with from here on in have some kind of resemblance of feelings for [me]1399-i too . ”[1399-i] [I]2959-i smile as [my]2959-i heart swells . “ Okay ? ”[1399-i] [he]1399-i asks before [he]1399-i takes a mouthful of food . “ Okay . ”[1399-i] [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i wine with a shaky hand . [I]2959-i look down at [my]2959-i dinner and smirk . Mushroom sauce . . . [my]2959-i new love potion . [Abracadabra]194-abracadabra . [Jameson Miles]186-jameson just blew [my]2959-i fucking mind . [I]2959-i roll over and put [my]2959-i hand out , and [I]2959-i frown . [Jameson]186-jameson is n’t in bed beside [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i glance over at the clock : 3:33 a.m. Where is [he]186-jameson ? [I]2959-i get out of bed and walk down [the hall]514-the room in search of [[my]2959-i man]186-jameson . The kitchen light is on . Hmm , but no [Jay]108-jay . [I]2959-i walk down to [the other end of [the apartment]2627-the apartment]1401-the other end of the apartment and see the light coming from [[his]186-jameson office]426-his office , and [I]2959-i tiptoe up [the hall]514-the room . [Jameson]186-jameson is sitting at [his]186-jameson desk ; [his]186-jameson thumbnail rubs back and forth over [his]186-jameson bottom lip as [he]186-jameson stares at the computer screen as it lights up [the room]514-the room . [I]2959-i stand silently at the door as [I]2959-i watch [him]186-jameson . [He]186-jameson ’s frowning , deep in concentration . What ’s waking [him]186-jameson up in the middle of the night ? What ’s [he]186-jameson worried about ? For five minutes , [I]2959-i watch [him]186-jameson in silence . [I]2959-i can feel the worry oozing out of [him]186-jameson . Finally , [I]2959-i can take it no more . “ Hey , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [He]186-jameson glances up , startled . “ Hello , [sweetheart]2959-i . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smiles softly . [I]2959-i walk over and look over [his]186-jameson shoulder at the screen . It displays a graph with a red line that gradually declines . Stock Value : Miles Media . Shit . [I]2959-i climb onto [his]186-jameson lap and kiss [his]186-jameson lips softly . “ [You]186-jameson ca n’t sleep ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson runs [his]186-jameson hand down [my]2959-i naked back . “ [I]186-jameson ’m fine . ”[186-jameson] But [he]186-jameson ’s not fine — [his]186-jameson company ’s value is plummeting . How many millions did [[his]186-jameson family]1404-his family lose today ? “ Any news ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [I]2959-i stare at the graph in front of [me]2959-i . “ On ? ”[2959-i] “ The case ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson shakes [his]186-jameson head . [His]186-jameson jaw ticks in anger as [his]186-jameson eyes go back to the graph . [He]186-jameson ’s like a raging ball of anxiety ; [I]2959-i can almost feel [his]186-jameson pain . [I]2959-i need to make [him]186-jameson forget this for the moment . [I]2959-i kiss [his]186-jameson neck , and [he]186-jameson smiles as [I]2959-i softly nip down to [his]186-jameson collarbone . [I]2959-i drop to the floor between [his]186-jameson legs , and [he]186-jameson looks down at [me]2959-i as [he]186-jameson runs [his]186-jameson hand through [my]2959-i hair . Emotion runs between [us]1405-us , electricity [I]2959-i ca n’t explain . “ [I]2959-i missed [you]2959-i when [you]2959-i were away , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [I]2959-i slowly slide [his]186-jameson boxers off . [He]186-jameson smiles softly as [I]2959-i kiss [his]186-jameson dick . It flexes in approval . “ [I]2959-i missed [[my]2959-i man]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [I]2959-i take [him]186-jameson in [my]2959-i mouth . “ [My]2959-i body missed [you]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i need to make [him]186-jameson forget where [he]186-jameson is , who [he]186-jameson is . This stress has to leave . Now [I]2959-i want to be [that spontaneous woman [he]186-jameson met twelve months ago]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago , [the one who blew [his]186-jameson mind]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago . [He]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago inhales sharply and spreads [his]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago legs , granting [me]2959-i access . [Our]1407-our eyes are locked as [I]2959-i suck on the most private part of [his]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago body , the one that [nobody]2321-nobody gets to see . [He]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago ’s thick and hard , and [I]2959-i can see every vein on [his]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago engorged length . [I]2959-i lick up [his]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago length and then flick [my]2959-i tongue over [his]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago end , and [I]2959-i can almost hear the arousal as it runs through [his]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago body like a river rapid . “ Fuck [my]2959-i mouth , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [I]2959-i watch [him]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago . [His]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago eyes darken . “ Take [my]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago hair in [your]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago hands , and fuck [my]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago mouth , ”[1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago] [I]2959-i murmur around [him]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago . [His]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago eyes dance with fire , and [he]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago grabs [my]2959-i hair in both hands and surges forward . [I]2959-i ’m blessed with a burst of preejaculate , and [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes and moan . [He]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago begins to slide [his]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago cock deep down [my]2959-i throat , and [I]2959-i hum around [him]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago . What must [I]2959-i look like , on [my]2959-i hands and knees , naked , under [[my]2959-i boyfriend]2490-my boyfriend ’s desk ? [My]2959-i own arousal takes shape , and [I]2959-i spread [my]2959-i legs , and [he]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago moans as [he]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago begins to really pump . [I]2959-i take [him]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago in [my]2959-i hand , and [my]2959-i fist follows [my]2959-i mouth as [I]2959-i begin to work [him]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago hard . [He]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago needs it hard . [I]2959-i can see every muscle contract in [his]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago stomach as [he]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago clenches , and [I]2959-i push [his]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago legs open farther and take [his]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago balls in [my]2959-i hand . “ Fuck , ”[1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago] [he]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago moans . “ Come , ”[1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Blow . [I]2959-i want to drink [you]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago down . ”[2959-i] [His]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago eyes roll back in [his]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago head , and [he]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago really lets [me]2959-i have it . [I]2959-i smile around [him]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago . [I]2959-i love it when [I]2959-i bring [him]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago undone like this . It ’s like [I]2959-i hover up in the air and watch with a special detachment . [An audience of one]1410-an audience of one — the best porn on [the planet]994-the planet . [His]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago stomach contracts , and [I]2959-i smile as [he]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago shoots down [my]2959-i throat . [I]2959-i concentrate on not gagging . It ’s hard with a cock this big , but when [he]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago opens [his]1406-that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago eyes , [they]1412-they ’re blazing . . . and all [my]2959-i fears are laid to rest . This is what [I]2959-i love . [I]2959-i love loving [Jameson]186-jameson with the unbridled passion that [he]186-jameson brings out in [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i ’ve never been [this woman]57-claudia before , but with [him]186-jameson . . . it ’s natural . As if [he]186-jameson was the missing link in [my]2959-i sexuality . [We]1414-our ’ve already had sex once earlier tonight , and that time was intimate and loving . Nothing like this , but just as important . [I]2959-i keep working [him]186-jameson , emptying [his]186-jameson beautiful body until [he]186-jameson drags [me]2959-i up to [him]186-jameson and spreads [me]2959-i over [his]186-jameson lap . [His]186-jameson lips take [mine]2959-i , and [he]186-jameson moans as [he]186-jameson tastes [himself]186-jameson in [my]2959-i mouth . [I]2959-i pull back to look at [him]186-jameson , the air between [us]1414-our electric , and [our]1414-our eyes lock . “ [I]2959-i love [you]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [He]186-jameson smiles , and then [his]186-jameson lips crash to [mine]2959-i . [Our]1414-our kiss is desperate , and [he]186-jameson stands and carries [me]2959-i down [the hall]611-the hall back to bed as [I]2959-i cling to [him]186-jameson . [Our]1414-our attachment is deep . So deep . For the first time in [my]2959-i life , [I]2959-i feel like [I]2959-i ’m [home]2289-home . [I]2959-i sit and watch [Hayden]266-jim walk across [the street]550-the street toward the café [we]1414-our are in . [He]266-jim ’s carrying a briefcase . Why would [he]266-jim need [his]266-jim briefcase on [his]266-jim lunch break ? [This guy]266-jim is suspicious as all hell . “ How long have [you]1418-her known [Hayden]266-jim , [Moll]198-molly ? ”[266-jim] [I]2959-i ask [her]1418-her . [Aaron]0-aaron sips [his]0-aaron drink through [his]0-aaron straw as [he]0-aaron listens and watches [Hayden]266-jim . [The three of [us]1414-our]525-the three of us are at [our]1414-our favorite lunch spot and sitting at the bench by the window . [She]1418-her gives [me]2959-i a lopsided twist of [her]1418-her lips . “ About eight years , [I]1418-her think . ”[1418-her] “ [Aaron]0-aaron said that [you]0-aaron used to work with [him]266-jim at [your]0-aaron old job . ”[1418-her] “ Yeah . ”[1418-her] [She]1418-her chews [her]1418-her toasted sandwich as [she]1418-her watches [him]266-jim . “ [He]266-jim worked at the Gazette with [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i attention goes back to watching [him]266-jim . “ [You]0-aaron know , [I]2959-i think [he]266-jim ’s up to something . ”[2959-i] “ Would n’t surprise [me]1418-her . ”[1418-her] [She]1418-her wipes [her]1418-her mouth with [her]1418-her napkin . “ Why do [you]0-aaron say that ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ [He]266-jim was fired from [the Gazette]596-the gazette . ”[2959-i] “ What for ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron frowns . “ [I]0-aaron do n’t know for certain , but the word on [the street]550-the street was that [he]266-jim was involved in a phone - tap scandal . ”[0-aaron] “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ Apparently . ”[1418-her] [She]1418-her rolls [her]1418-her eyes . “ And this is complete speculation , but [he]266-jim was caught tapping one of [his]266-jim coworkers ’ phones and stealing [her]1418-her leads . ”[1418-her] [My]2959-i eyes widen . “ Really ? Who ? ”[1418-her] “ [A girl named [Keeley May]198-molly]927-the redhead . ”[0-aaron] “ Oh yes , [the redhead]927-the redhead , ”[0-aaron] remarks [Aaron]0-aaron . “ [She]927-the redhead ’s fucking hot . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly ’s and [my]2959-i eyes go to [him]0-aaron . “ Since when do [you]927-the redhead think [girls]2675-girls are hot ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly asks . “ [I]0-aaron ’m gay , not blind . [I]0-aaron can appreciate a fine female form , ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron huffs . [We]1420-we both roll [our]1420-we eyes . “ Why do [you]927-the redhead think [he]0-aaron ’s up to something ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly asks . [God]0-aaron , can [I]2959-i tell [them]1421-them ? No . . . [I]2959-i have to run it past [Tristan]2430-tristan first . [I]2959-i ca n’t break [their]1421-them trust in [me]2959-i . “ [I]2959-i told [him]0-aaron one of [my]2959-i stories the other day , and [I]2959-i saw that [he]0-aaron submitted it as [his]0-aaron own , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i lie . [Molly]198-molly narrows [her]198-molly eyes . “ Fucking snake . ”[198-molly] “ [I]2959-i have no proof , of course , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i add . “ [I]2959-i was just wondering about [his]0-aaron character , that ’s all . ”[2959-i] “ From what [I]198-molly know of [him]0-aaron , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly says dryly , “ [I]198-molly would n’t trust [him]0-aaron as far as [I]198-molly could throw [him]0-aaron . ”[198-molly] “ Like [Paul]101-paul , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron sneers . “ Oh God , what happened now ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ Nothing . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron sighs . “ [He]0-aaron ’s just [an asshole]662-an asshole , that ’s all . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly rolls [her]198-molly eyes in disgust . “ [You]198-molly know what , [Aaron]0-aaron , stop playing [the fucking victim here]3021-the fucking victim here . [You]198-molly know [he]0-aaron ’s sleeping around , and [you]198-molly ’re still sleeping with [him]0-aaron . It ’s one thing to be deceived , but to willingly go back for more when [you]198-molly know exactly what is going on is just plain pathetic . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron rolls [his]0-aaron eyes . “ [You]198-molly do n’t have to be such a bitch about it . ”[0-aaron] “ Yeah , [I]1422-i do . [You]198-molly ’re acting like a damsel in distress . [You]198-molly do n’t have [kids]2541-kids with [him]0-aaron . [You]198-molly do n’t have a mortgage . [You]198-molly do n’t work with [him]0-aaron . The break would be easy . Tell [him]0-aaron to fuck off and move on , ”[1422-i] [she]1422-i scoffs . “ [Breakups]195-breakups are hard . Staying with [an asshole]662-an asshole is harder . ”[1422-i] “ Speaking of moving on — [Jameson]186-jameson asked [me]2959-i to move in with [him]0-aaron , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say to change the subject . [Aaron]0-aaron snorts [his]0-aaron drink , and it goes up [his]0-aaron nose . “ What the hell ? ”[0-aaron] “ Apparently . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . [Aaron]0-aaron frowns . “ What ’s with the turnabout ? ”[0-aaron] “ [He]0-aaron went and saw [Claudia]57-claudia , [[his]0-aaron ex]1395-his ex , while [he]0-aaron was in [London]6-london . ”[0-aaron] “ Did [he]0-aaron fuck [her]57-claudia ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron asks as [he]0-aaron chews [his]0-aaron straw . “ No , [Aaron]0-aaron , [fucking other people]3025-fucking other people is n’t normal behavior , ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly snaps . “ Get that through [your]0-aaron thick head . [Your]0-aaron view on reality is seriously distorted . ”[198-molly] “ Fuck , [you]0-aaron ’re [a real bitch]3026-a real bitch today , [you]0-aaron know that ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron snaps . “ Well , that communal dick of [[your]0-aaron boyfriend]2443-your boyfriend ’s is pissing [me]198-molly off , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly scoffs . [Aaron]0-aaron and [I]2959-i roll [our]1423-our eyes . [Molly]198-molly is especially testy today . “ [He]0-aaron said that [he]0-aaron and [Claudia]57-claudia had planned on getting back together , but [he]0-aaron told [her]57-claudia [he]0-aaron wanted a future with [me]198-molly . [He]0-aaron ended it . ”[198-molly] “ Holy shit , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron whispers . “ [He]0-aaron told [me]0-aaron [he]0-aaron loves [me]0-aaron . ”[0-aaron] “ What the fuck ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly cries . “ Are [you]198-molly serious ? ”[198-molly] “ But . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . “ But what ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron whispers . “ There should be no buts anywhere in this story . ”[0-aaron] “ It ’s all so fast . What ’s the rush , [you]198-molly know ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . “ [I]1424-i ’m scared [he]0-aaron ’s just stressed . ”[1424-i] [They]1424-i both continue to listen . “ [He]0-aaron told [me]1424-i that [he]0-aaron ’s had feelings since [we]1424-i first met , and it ’s been coming for a long time . ”[1424-i] “ That could be true . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly frowns . “ It could be . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i coffee . “ It could also be in [his]0-aaron takeover strategy . ”[2959-i] “ What takeover strategy ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly frowns . “ [Jameson Miles]186-jameson gets what [he]0-aaron wants , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply . “ If [he]0-aaron ’s decided [he]0-aaron wants [me]2959-i — ”[2959-i] “ Which [he]0-aaron has , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron interrupts . “ [He]0-aaron will make it happen . [I]2959-i do n’t know . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . “ It just all seems too good to be true , and the whole [Claudia]57-claudia situation has freaked [me]198-molly out a little . Can [I]198-molly really believe that [Claudia]57-claudia and [he]0-aaron will just break off all communication now ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly rolls [her]198-molly eyes . “ Here [we]3028-we go . Have [[you]198-molly two idiots]3029-you two idiots been sniffing ink cartridges today ? ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly screws up [her]198-molly napkin with force . “ Stop being [a fucking negative bitch]3030-a fucking negative bitch . If [he]0-aaron did n’t tell [you]198-molly [he]0-aaron loved [you]198-molly , that would have been a problem . Now that [he]0-aaron has , [he]0-aaron has an ulterior motive . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly throws [her]198-molly hands up in disgust . “ Will [you]198-molly two come back to [Earth]28-earth ? ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly gets up . “ [We]3031-we have to get back . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly storms out , and [Aaron]0-aaron and [I]2959-i watch [her]198-molly cross [the street]550-the street . “ [She]198-molly needs a good deep dicking , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron mutters . “ [She]198-molly ’s in full bitch mode . ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i giggle as [I]2959-i watch [her]198-molly walk into [the building]361-the building . “ [You]198-molly could be right . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [my]2959-i reflection in the mirror and exhale heavily . [I]2959-i turn and check [my]2959-i behind . [I]2959-i ’m wearing a gold Chanel dress that [Jameson]186-jameson picked off the rack yesterday . [My]2959-i long dark hair is set into large curls and pinned behind one ear , and [my]2959-i makeup is glamorous with glossy red lips . [I]2959-i ’m nervous as all hell . This is the first time [I]2959-i ’ve ever been anywhere formal with [him]186-jameson as [his]186-jameson date . . . and of course , [[his]186-jameson whole family]1427-his whole family is going to be there to witness it . Could be a complete disaster . Just do n’t spill anything on [your]1428-your dress or drink too much champagne and be embarrassing , [I]2959-i remind [myself]2959-i . [God]0-aaron , [I]2959-i could n’t cope . The worst thing is , because [I]2959-i ’m so nervous , [I]2959-i want to power drink . “ Are [you]2959-i nearly ready , [my]186-jameson fuck bunny ? ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson calls . [He]186-jameson appears around the door and gives [me]2959-i a slow , sexy smile as [his]186-jameson eyes drop down the length of [my]2959-i body . “ [Jesus]107-jesus , [you]107-jesus look beautiful . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i brush [my]2959-i hands nervously over [my]2959-i thighs . “ Is this okay ? ”[2959-i] “ Perfect . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson takes [me]2959-i in [his]186-jameson arms and kisses [my]2959-i cheek . “ [I]186-jameson do n’t like those red lips , though . ”[186-jameson] “ Oh . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i face falls . “ [I]2959-i ca n’t kiss [you]2959-i without wearing the evidence . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as [he]186-jameson holds [me]2959-i . Something has changed between [us]1429-us again today . Another day , another dynamic . [I]2959-i feel so close to [him]186-jameson . Something about all that honesty yesterday tore down [my]2959-i defenses against [him]186-jameson . [Molly]198-molly is completely right , and [I]2959-i am looking for the negative in this , but [I]2959-i ca n’t help it ; [I]2959-i fear [my]2959-i heart may be in dire danger . If [he]186-jameson leaves [me]2959-i . . . how would [I]2959-i cope ? [I]2959-i ’ve been hurt before , and although [I]2959-i know that [Jameson]186-jameson is in a completely different league than [my]2959-i past relationships , the prospect is terrifying . This one will hurt . . . deeply . [He]186-jameson ’s wearing a black tuxedo and a bow tie ; [his]186-jameson eyes are a brilliant blue , and [his]186-jameson dark hair frames [his]186-jameson beautiful face . [I]2959-i ’ve never had a man terrify [me]2959-i the way that [Jameson Miles]186-jameson does . [He]186-jameson ’s everything [I]2959-i never knew [I]2959-i needed . [He]186-jameson takes [my]2959-i hand in [his]186-jameson . “ Do [you]3032-you have everything ? ”[186-jameson] “ Uh - huh . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i hand over [my]2959-i heart to try to will it to slow down . “ What ’s wrong ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson says softly . “ [I]186-jameson ’m nervous . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smiles sexily . “ [You]3032-you ’ll be fine . ”[186-jameson] “ Do n’t let [me]186-jameson drink too much , okay ? ”[186-jameson] “ Okay . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smirks as [we]1430-we walk to the door . “ And if [you]3032-you see [me]186-jameson drinking too much , take [my]186-jameson glass from [me]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson frowns . “ Honestly , [Jay]108-jay , [I]186-jameson go from a level four to a ten in two mouthfuls . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smirks and then , thinking on that statement further , throws [his]186-jameson head back and laughs out loud . “ Not a truer word has ever been spoken . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i drop [my]2959-i mouth open in fake horror . “ [I]2959-i ’m not talking about head , [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ [I]186-jameson am . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson kisses [my]2959-i hand . “ And for the record , [you]186-jameson went from a ten to a twenty . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk , and [he]186-jameson bends and kisses [my]2959-i neck and then [my]2959-i shoulder and then [my]2959-i breast through [my]2959-i dress . “ The sooner [we]3033-we go , the sooner [we]3033-we can leave . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson runs [his]186-jameson hand down [my]2959-i behind and gives [me]2959-i a sharp slap . Half an hour later , [the limo]678-the limo pulls into [the parking bay]639-the parking bay , and [I]2959-i look around at [all the beautiful people in black tie]1433-all the beautiful people in black tie . As [my]2959-i nerves begin to kick [me]2959-i hard , [Jameson]186-jameson picks up [my]2959-i hand and kisses the back of it , oblivious to [my]2959-i inner turmoil . What will [I]2959-i say to [[his]186-jameson mother]2681-his father ? [[His]186-jameson father]2681-his father ? Oh hell . . . why did [I]2959-i come ? [Alan]246-alan opens the door , and [Jameson]186-jameson climbs out and then takes [my]2959-i hand and helps [me]2959-i . [His]186-jameson hand tenderly goes to [my]2959-i lower back . “ Thank [you]246-alan , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson says to [Alan]246-alan . “ Thank [you]246-alan . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i smile . [Jameson]186-jameson takes [my]2959-i hand , and [we]1435-we walk up toward the large front doors . [A few people]1436-a few people do a double take as [they]1436-a few people see [us]1435-we , and [people]248-people are staring . [I]2959-i hold [my]2959-i breath as [he]186-jameson leads [me]2959-i through [the crowd]265-the crowd . “ Hello , [Jameson]186-jameson , ”[186-jameson] [someone]2326-someone says . [He]186-jameson nods politely but does n’t stop to chat . [We]1435-we walk in through the double doors , and [he]186-jameson leads [me]2959-i straight to a table up at the front . It ’s round with a white linen tablecloth and silver cutlery all lined up , and beautiful white flowers and candles sit in the center . Crap , what ’s the eating order of the cutlery ? [I]2959-i need to go to [the bathroom]300-the bathroom and google this shit . [[Jameson]186-jameson ’s father]1441-jameson ’s father is sitting at the table along with [an older woman]1442-an older woman . [She]1442-an older woman has dark hair that sits in a perfect bob . [She]1442-an older woman ’s very attractive and wearing a glamorous black evening dress with long sleeves . “ [Mom]70-mom , [Dad]196-dad , this is [Emily]186-jameson . ”[1441-jameson ’s father] [He]1441-jameson ’s father presents [me]2959-i proudly . “ These are [[my]1441-jameson ’s father parents]1038-my parents , [Elizabeth]197-elizabeth and [George]0-aaron . ”[1441-jameson ’s father] “ Hello , [dear]0-aaron . ”[1434-his mother] [[His]1441-jameson ’s father mother]1434-his mother stands and kisses both [my]2959-i cheeks and holds [me]2959-i at arm ’s length as [she]1434-his mother inspects [me]2959-i . “ Well , are n’t [you]0-aaron something special . ”[1434-his mother] [She]1434-his mother smiles warmly . Oh , [she]1434-his mother ’s nice . [I]2959-i smile awkwardly , and [[his]1441-jameson ’s father father]2681-his father pulls [me]2959-i from [[his]1441-jameson ’s father mother]1434-his mother and kisses [my]2959-i cheek . “ Hello , [Emily]186-jameson . [I]2681-his father did n’t get a chance to talk with [you]186-jameson properly the other day . Lovely to meet [you]186-jameson . ”[2681-his father] “ Yes , [you]186-jameson too , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [Jameson]186-jameson pulls out [my]2959-i chair , and [I]2959-i sit down as [my]2959-i heart races in [my]2959-i chest . [I]2959-i can feel [my]2959-i face flushing , and [I]2959-i silently die a little . Do n’t go red now , stupid . [I]2959-i get an image of a beetroot face sitting next to [Mr. Gorgeous]148-gorgeous [here]385-new york . [Jameson]186-jameson pours [me]2959-i a glass of champagne and passes it over . “ Thank [you]186-jameson , ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i whisper as [I]2959-i take it from [him]186-jameson . [My]2959-i eyes hold [his]186-jameson in a silent “ help [me]186-jameson ”[186-jameson] signal . [He]186-jameson gives [me]2959-i a sexy wink and slings [his]186-jameson arm around the back of [my]2959-i chair . “ Where ’s [Tris]2430-tristan ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson asks casually as [he]186-jameson looks around [the room]514-the room . “ On [his]186-jameson way , ”[186-jameson] [[his]186-jameson father]2681-his father replies . [I]2959-i look around at [all the people filling [the ballroom]514-the room]1448-all the people filling the ballroom . [The who ’s who are here]378-the men — not that [I]2959-i remember any of [their]378-the men names . [I]2959-i ’m only going on what [Molly]198-molly and [Aaron]0-aaron prepped [me]2959-i with today . Two of [the managers [I]2959-i ’ve seen [upstairs]2392-upstairs on the top floor]1450-the managers i ’ve seen upstairs on the top floor arrive with [their]378-the men dates . “ Hello . ”[378-the men] [They]378-the men all shake hands , and then [the men]378-the men frown when [they]378-the men see [me]2959-i . “ Have [you]3035-you met [Emily]186-jameson , [[my]186-jameson girlfriend]186-jameson ? ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson asks [them]378-the men . “ Oh yes . ”[378-the men] [They]378-the men smile in an over - the - top way . “ Hello , [Emily]186-jameson , ”[378-the men] the four of [them]378-the men splutter before shaking [my]2959-i hand and sitting down at [our]1452-our table . [Jameson]186-jameson sits next to [me]2959-i , and [[his]186-jameson father]2681-his father is on the other side of [him]2681-his father , then [[his]186-jameson mother]1434-his mother , then [the other four]1455-the other four . Two seats are to [my]2959-i left — must be for [Tristan]2430-tristan . “ Hello , ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan says happily from behind [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i turn and see that [the blonde woman]1456-the blonde woman is with [him]2681-his father . “ Hello , ”[2304-everyone] [everyone]2304-everyone calls . “ [Emily]186-jameson , this is [Melina]57-claudia , ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan introduces [me]2959-i . “ Hello . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shake [her]1456-the blonde woman hand . “ Hello . ”[1456-the blonde woman] [She]1456-the blonde woman smiles as [she]1456-the blonde woman takes a seat beside [me]2959-i and looks around the table . “ [I]1456-the blonde woman just could n’t decide what to wear tonight . How is [everyone]2304-everyone ? ”[1456-the blonde woman] The table instantly falls into chatter . [She]1456-the blonde woman ’s confident and beautiful , and [she]1456-the blonde woman looks like a high - fashion model rather than a . . . what does [she]1456-the blonde woman do again ? [I]2959-i glance over to see [Jameson]186-jameson and [[his]186-jameson father]2681-his father subtly roll [their]1459-their eyes at each other . Hmm , what ’s that about ? [Tristan]2430-tristan begins to talk to [a man at the table next to [us]1461-us]1460-a man at the table next to us and laughs out loud . [He]2430-tristan really is very friendly . [Melina]57-claudia takes out [her]57-claudia phone and pulls a duck mouth and takes a selfie . [She]57-claudia leans toward [me]2959-i . “ Get in , ”[57-claudia] [she]57-claudia says . “ [I]57-claudia ’ll tag [you]57-claudia . ”[57-claudia] [I]2959-i pull out of [her]57-claudia grip and lean away . “ No thank [you]57-claudia . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ [I]2959-i do n’t do social media . ”[2959-i] “ What ? ”[57-claudia] [she]57-claudia gasps as [she]57-claudia looks [me]2959-i up and down in disgust . “ Why on [earth]872-earth not ? What ’s wrong with [you]57-claudia ? ”[57-claudia] Okay . . . [this woman]57-claudia ’s [a rude pig]1462-a rude pig . “ [I]2959-i do n’t like social media , that ’s all . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . “ What ’s not to like ? ”[57-claudia] [She]57-claudia keeps taking [her]57-claudia own photo . [I]2959-i stare at [her]57-claudia deadpan . “ A misrepresentation of society with unrealistic images that portray a fake lifestyle with impossible ideals , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply as [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i wine . Do n’t piss [me]2959-i off , [bitch]1463-bitch . [Jameson]186-jameson smirks as [he]186-jameson stares straight ahead . [His]186-jameson finger circles on [my]2959-i bare shoulder . “ Oh God . ”[186-jameson] [She]57-claudia rolls [her]57-claudia eyes and takes another selfie . [I]2959-i glance over , and [[Jameson]186-jameson ’s mother]1464-jameson ’s mother smirks and winks at [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i can hear [my]2959-i heartbeat in [my]2959-i ears . [God]0-aaron , cut out the snarky bitch act , [Emily]186-jameson , [I]2959-i remind [myself]2959-i . Just be nice for once . [Jameson]186-jameson and [[his]186-jameson father]2681-his father fall into conversation , and [I]2959-i sit quietly . [The waiter]717-the waiter comes over and goes to refill [my]2959-i glass . “ No thank [you]57-claudia . ”[717-the waiter] [I]2959-i smile . [Melina]57-claudia talks to [the other people at the table]1467-the other people at the table ; [she]57-claudia ’s laughing loudly and loves attention . [She]57-claudia ’s not at [all the type of woman [I]2959-i thought [Tristan]2430-tristan]1468-all the type of woman i thought tristan would go for . “ [Emily]186-jameson , [you]57-claudia must come and visit [us]3038-we in [the Hamptons]3039-the hamptons , ”[186-jameson] [[Jameson]186-jameson ’s mother]1464-jameson ’s mother says . “ Thank [you]57-claudia . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ That would be lovely . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i should try to make conversation . “ Do [you]57-claudia go on weekends ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ [We]3038-we live there mostly now , ”[1464-jameson ’s mother] [she]1464-jameson ’s mother says . “ [We]3038-we still have [[our]3038-we apartments here]3040-our apartments here , of course , but the change of pace is lovely . ”[1464-jameson ’s mother] “ Oh . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . How many apartments do [they]1470-they have here ? [Jeez]93-jeez , [they]1470-they really are from [a different world]2630-a different world . “ Sounds great . ”[93-jeez] “ [Jameson]186-jameson said [you]57-claudia are from [California]12-california ? ”[1464-jameson ’s mother] [she]1464-jameson ’s mother asks . “ Yes . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i fake a smile . [He]2959-i told [them]1470-they about [me]2959-i ? “ [I]2959-i ’ve only been here a month . ”[2959-i] “ And what do [you]57-claudia think of [New York]385-new york ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i love it . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ It ’s amazing . ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson ’s hand sits on [my]2959-i shoulder for moral support while [he]186-jameson talks to [[his]186-jameson father]2681-his father . “ [Jameson]186-jameson told [us]1473-we that [you]3041-you met each other more than twelve months ago , ”[197-elizabeth] [Elizabeth]197-elizabeth continues . “ Yes . ”[197-elizabeth] [I]2959-i fake a smile . Oh dear God . What did [he]186-jameson tell [them]1470-they about how [we]1473-we met ? Please do n’t let it be the truth , that [we]1473-we sat next to each other on a boozy flight and flirted like [sex - starved fools]1474-sex - starved fools and then had wild layover sex for twelve hours while [I]2959-i tried to suck every last drop of blood from [his]186-jameson neck . [I]2959-i pick up [my]2959-i wine and tip [my]2959-i head back and kick [Jameson]186-jameson ’s foot . Help [me]2959-i , [fucker]2718-fucker . [He]186-jameson smiles as if [he]186-jameson already knows what ’s going on in [my]2959-i head . [Tristan]2430-tristan finally takes a seat , and [Melina]57-claudia leans over and kisses [him]2430-tristan . “ Let ’s go mingle . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan frowns as [he]2430-tristan takes [his]2430-tristan first sip of scotch . “ No , [babe]2430-tristan . [I]2430-tristan ’m staying [here]385-new york . Knock [yourself]57-claudia out . ”[2430-tristan] [Melina]57-claudia waves at a woman on the other side of [the room]514-the room and stands . “ Back in a moment . ”[57-claudia] [She]57-claudia smiles to the table as [she]57-claudia practically runs to [the woman]57-claudia and air kisses [her]57-claudia two cheeks . “ Darling , ”[57-claudia] [she]57-claudia cries , and [they]1477-they fake gush over each other . [My]2959-i eyes find [Jameson]186-jameson ’s , and [he]186-jameson rolls [his]186-jameson lips in amusement . It ’s as if [he]186-jameson can read [my]2959-i mind . [She]57-claudia ’s a twit . [Jameson]186-jameson ’s jaw tilts skyward , and [his]186-jameson tongue runs across [his]186-jameson teeth as if [he]186-jameson ’s angered . [I]2959-i follow [his]186-jameson line of sight and see [a group of [men]330-men and [women]276-women arriving at a table across from [us]1481-us]1478-a group of men and women arriving at a table across from us . [My]2959-i eyes flick to [[his]186-jameson father]2681-his father and [mother]1483-mother as [they]1478-a group of men and women arriving at a table across from us look on as well . “ Who are [they]1478-a group of men and women arriving at a table across from us ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [The Ferrara family]3043-the ferrara family . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown in question . “ [They]1478-a group of men and women arriving at a table across from us own [the Gazette and Ferrara Media]3044-the gazette and ferrara media . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes widen . “ Oh . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i go back to watching [them]1478-a group of men and women arriving at a table across from us as [they]1478-a group of men and women arriving at a table across from us all sit around the table . [Three sons]1484-three sons and [a mother]1485-a mother and [father]2681-his father , Italian by the looks of it . [Gorgeous - looking people]1486-gorgeous - looking people . . . all dark hair and brown eyes . [Only one son]1487-only one son has a date ; [the other two]1488-the other two are alone . [The eldest son]1487-only one son looks over and smiles when [he]1487-only one son sees [us]1489-us . [He]1487-only one son waves and dips [his]1487-only one son head . [Jameson]186-jameson dips [his]1487-only one son head back in a polite but cold gesture . “ Who ’s that ? ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [Gabriel Ferrara]2430-tristan , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson replies as [he]186-jameson sips [his]186-jameson drink . Contempt drips from [his]186-jameson every pore . “ [The CEO]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [My]2959-i eyes widen . [I]2959-i can tell that there is no love lost between [the two families]1490-the two families . [CEO]186-jameson versus [CEO]186-jameson . “ [Emily]186-jameson ? ”[186-jameson] [a woman]339-a woman ’s voice gasps from behind [us]1489-us . [We]1489-us all turn to see [a woman]339-a woman . [I]2959-i know [her]339-a woman . “ [Athena]200-athena . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i laugh as [I]2959-i stand . [Athena]200-athena is in [her]200-athena sixties and [a woman of [the world]249-the world]339-a woman . [I]2959-i adore [her]339-a woman . “ Oh [[my]339-a woman God]2363-my god , ”[339-a woman] [she]339-a woman gasps as [she]339-a woman pulls [me]2959-i into an embrace . “ [Jameson Miles]186-jameson , how on [earth]872-earth do [you]2363-my god know [Emily Foster]186-jameson ? ”[1493-he] [He]1493-he chuckles . “ [Emily]186-jameson has been [[my]200-athena intern]3047-my intern every college holiday for three years . ”[200-athena] [Athena]200-athena laughs . [George]0-aaron looks on as if impressed . “ [She]339-a woman would n’t move [here]385-new york for [my]339-a woman company . ”[339-a woman] [She]339-a woman smiles as [she]339-a woman rubs [my]2959-i arm . “ What do [you]2363-my god mean ? ”[0-aaron] [George]0-aaron asks . “ [Best damn reporter [I]200-athena ever had]2363-my god , ”[200-athena] [Athena]200-athena replies . “ [I]2959-i ’ve offered [her]200-athena a job every year , but [she]200-athena always turned [me]2959-i down , stating that [Miles Media]68-miles media would be the only reason [she]200-athena would move to [New York]385-new york . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile awkwardly . Please shut up . [I]2959-i ’m trying to play it cool here . “ Is that so ? ”[2959-i] [George]0-aaron smiles over at [me]2959-i . “ Well , [she]200-athena ’s found [her]200-athena place at [Miles Media]14-miles media . ”[0-aaron] [Athena]200-athena looks down at [Jameson]186-jameson ’s hand as it rests on [my]2959-i lap . “ [I]200-athena can see that . ”[200-athena] [She]200-athena smiles down at [me]2959-i . “ [Emily]186-jameson , come , [I]200-athena have [someone]2326-someone [I]200-athena want [you]2326-someone to meet . ”[200-athena] [She]200-athena glances at [Jameson]186-jameson . “ Can [I]200-athena steal [her]200-athena for a moment , please ? ”[200-athena] “ Of course . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson kisses [my]2959-i hand before [he]186-jameson lets [me]2959-i go . [His]186-jameson eyes linger on [my]2959-i face , and [I]2959-i smile softly . [This man]186-jameson is just so . . . [Athena]200-athena pulls [me]2959-i over to the other side of [the room]514-the room . “ Oh [my]200-athena God , ”[200-athena] [she]200-athena splutters as [we]1495-we weave between the tables . “ [You]3050-you ’re dating [Jameson Miles]186-jameson . ”[200-athena] “ Yes . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i laugh . “ [He]186-jameson ’s [the most delicious man on [the planet]994-the planet]186-jameson . ”[200-athena] [She]200-athena turns back and smiles at [me]2959-i . “ And the crankiest . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i giggle as [she]200-athena drags [me]2959-i to [the bar]459-the bar to [a group of women]1497-a group of women and [men who are all standing around]1498-men who are all standing around . “ [Lauren]201-lauren , look who ’s [here]385-new york ! [Emily Foster]186-jameson . ”[200-athena] “ Oh [[my]201-lauren God]186-jameson . ”[201-lauren] [Lauren]201-lauren laughs as [she]200-athena hugs [me]2959-i . [Lauren]201-lauren and [I]2959-i were interns together in [our]1499-we second year . [Lauren]201-lauren went on to work with [them]1497-a group of women . “ What are [you]186-jameson doing here ? ”[201-lauren] [She]201-lauren smiles excitedly . “ [I]201-lauren ’ve moved to [New York]385-new york now . [I]201-lauren work for [Miles Media]14-miles media . ”[201-lauren] “ Really ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i laugh . “ Yes . ”[2959-i] “ Oh [[my]201-lauren God]2363-my god , [we]1499-we have to catch up . ”[201-lauren] “ Yes . ”[2959-i] It would be so nice to have [a friend here that [I]2959-i do n’t work with]1500-a friend here that i do n’t work with . “ Make sure [we]1499-we get [each other]2339-each other ’s numbers . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i glance around , and [everyone]2304-everyone has a drink . “ [I]202-someone ’m just going to get another champagne . ”[202-someone] [Someone]202-someone grabs [my]2959-i elbow from behind , and [I]2959-i turn . [I]2959-i ’m taken aback . It ’s [the tall Italian man]1502-the tall italian man , [the CEO of the Gazette]1502-the tall italian man . “ Hello . ”[1502-the tall italian man] [He]1502-the tall italian man smiles sexily down at [me]2959-i . “ Hi . ”[1502-the tall italian man] “ Who are [you]1502-the tall italian man ? ”[1502-the tall italian man] [he]1502-the tall italian man asks . [I]2959-i frown , and [my]2959-i eyes flick back to [my]2959-i table . [Jameson]186-jameson is talking to [Tristan]2430-tristan . “ [Emily]186-jameson , ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i reply nervously . [He]1502-the tall italian man picks up [my]2959-i hand and kisses the back of it . “ [My]1502-the tall italian man name is [Gabriel Ferrara]2430-tristan . ”[1502-the tall italian man] “ Oh . ”[1502-the tall italian man] “ And [I]2959-i like to take over all things owned by [Jameson Miles]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes widen . [His]1502-the tall italian man dark eyes drop to [my]2959-i lips . “ [Women]276-women included . ”[1502-the tall italian man] Chapter 18 “ Excuse [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i snatch [my]2959-i hand from [his]1502-the tall italian man grip . “ What did [you]2959-i say ? ”[1502-the tall italian man] [He]1502-the tall italian man smiles sexily . “ [I]1502-the tall italian man was merely stating that [you]2959-i are gorgeous . Do n’t be alarmed . ”[1502-the tall italian man] “ Well , do n’t , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . [He]1502-the tall italian man smiles as [he]1502-the tall italian man sips [his]1502-the tall italian man drink , clearly amused by [my]2959-i response . “ Who are [you]2959-i ? ”[1502-the tall italian man] “ Someone whose intelligence is insulted by [your]2959-i audacity . Goodbye , [Mr. Ferrara]2430-tristan . Go away . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i turn [my]2959-i back to [him]1502-the tall italian man and take [my]2959-i place at [the bar]459-the bar . [His]1502-the tall italian man lips come to [my]2959-i ear from behind . “ Lovely to meet [you]2959-i , [Emily]186-jameson . [We]3056-we will meet again . [I]1502-the tall italian man ’ll make sure of it . ”[1502-the tall italian man] [His]1502-the tall italian man breath prickles [my]2959-i neck , and traitorous goose bumps scatter up [my]2959-i arms . “ Do n’t bother , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sneer , annoyed by [my]2959-i physical reaction to [him]1502-the tall italian man . [My]2959-i heart is hammering . No wonder [poor Jameson]186-jameson is stressed to [the max]1504-the max . [He]186-jameson ’s dealing with complete and utter snakes here . Good grief , [I]2959-i ’m completely rattled . [I]2959-i get [my]2959-i drink and go back to talking to [Lauren]201-lauren , although [my]2959-i mind is anywhere but on [our]1505-our conversation . [That fucking asshole [Gabriel]2430-tristan]1506-that fucking asshole gabriel is sabotaging [Jameson]186-jameson ’s company and is openly making a play for [[his]1506-that fucking asshole gabriel women]1507-his women . [Woman]76-woman . [I]2959-i feel outraged on [his]1506-that fucking asshole gabriel behalf , and [I]2959-i want to march over and tell [Jameson]186-jameson what just happened , but then [I]2959-i do n’t want to stress [him]186-jameson out . But maybe that ’s exactly what [Gabriel]2430-tristan wants — an open war . Shit . . . this is hectic . From [[my]2959-i place]2742-my place by [the bar]459-the bar , [I]2959-i watch as person after [person]656-person goes and strategically says hello to [the Miles family at [their]1512-the miles family at their table table]1512-the miles family at their table , as if wanting to be acknowledged by [them]1512-the miles family at their table . [Tristan]2430-tristan is all smiles and happy , and [Jameson]186-jameson and [[his]186-jameson father]2681-his father are polite . It ’s blatantly obvious to [me]2959-i that [they]1512-the miles family at their table are not at all seduced or fooled by the fake greetings and well wishes . After the longest conversation in history , [I]2959-i make [my]2959-i way back to [Jameson]186-jameson . [I]2959-i sit beside [him]186-jameson , and [he]186-jameson takes [my]2959-i hand in [his]186-jameson and puts it on [his]186-jameson thigh . “ Do [you]186-jameson like [these people]3057-these people here ? ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i whisper . [His]186-jameson eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ [I]186-jameson like [the people at this table]3058-the people at this table . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i look around nervously . “ What ’s wrong ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson asks , sensing that something is off . “ Nothing , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [I]2959-i lean in and kiss [him]186-jameson softly on the lips . “ [I]2959-i do n’t particularly like [any of [these people]3057-these people]3059-any of these people . ”[2959-i] “ [Me]186-jameson neither , and as long as [you]186-jameson like [me]186-jameson , that ’s all that matters , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson murmurs . [I]2959-i smile over at [[my]2959-i beautiful man]186-jameson and lean up to whisper in [his]186-jameson ear , “ [I]186-jameson more than like [you]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson squeezes [my]2959-i hand in [his]186-jameson . “ Two hours , and [we]1514-we can go , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers . “ Good . ”[186-jameson] Dinner has been served , [we]1514-we are on to dessert , and the award ceremony is about to take place . The lights are dimmed , and [the stage]1515-the stage is lit up by a spotlight as [they]1514-we go through the categories . [They]1514-we must start with the smaller awards first . [Jameson]186-jameson sits and stares at the stage as [he]186-jameson holds [my]2959-i hand on [his]186-jameson large muscular thigh . [He]186-jameson ’s completely expressionless , and [I]2959-i have no idea what [he]186-jameson ’s thinking . [He]186-jameson does it so well , keeps [his]186-jameson emotions completely under control . [Tristan]2430-tristan is laughing and talking about the categories with [the other managers]1516-the other managers sitting at the table . [He]2430-tristan ’s completely relaxed and having a good night . How are [two brothers so different]1517-two brothers so different ? [Tristan]2430-tristan is open and jovial , and [Jameson]186-jameson is closed and hard . . . at least to [the outside world]1518-the outside world . Although , knowing what [Tristan]2430-tristan ’s role is in the company — acquisitions — [he]2430-tristan has to be hard on some level . Perhaps even harder than [the rest of [them]1514-we]1519-the rest of them because [he]2430-tristan takes over [companies]1520-companies and dissolves [them]1514-we . [I]2959-i think on it for a moment as [I]2959-i stare at [Jameson]186-jameson . No , that ’s impossible — [nobody]2321-nobody could be harder than [Jameson]186-jameson . [My]2959-i eyes flick to [[his]186-jameson father]2681-his father , who wears the same steely face as [he]186-jameson watches the stage . . . perhaps [George]0-aaron is . [I]2959-i think back to [Jameson]186-jameson ’s childhood and how [he]186-jameson went to boarding school overseas with [[his]186-jameson brothers]2390-his brothers . How do [you]1524-you learn to be soft and nurturing when [you]1524-you ’re in a cold school environment ? [I]2959-i wonder if that is why [he]186-jameson ’s all or nothing with [me]2959-i . Does [he]186-jameson have to give [himself]186-jameson permission to feel before [he]186-jameson can physically do it ? It would make sense . [I]2959-i mean , since [he]186-jameson told [me]2959-i [he]186-jameson wants [me]2959-i , [we]1525-we ’ve moved forward in leaps and bounds . Every touch [I]2959-i feel [him]186-jameson let [me]2959-i in a little more . Is it because [he]186-jameson can finally verbalize things now ? [I]2959-i exhale heavily as [I]2959-i clap for an award . [My]2959-i mind is far from here . [I]2959-i ’m fixed on [the complex man [I]2959-i ’ve fallen for]1526-the complex man i ’ve fallen for , as [I]2959-i try to unravel [his]186-jameson inner demons . Maybe [Jay]108-jay needs to talk about [the company]2358-the company . Maybe [he]108-jay needs [someone]2326-someone [he]108-jay does n’t have to pretend with that [he]108-jay has everything under control . [He]108-jay ’s [the CEO of [Miles Media]68-miles media]108-jay . [The family]68-miles media is looking to [him]108-jay for guidance . Waiting for [him]108-jay to rectify the situation . Of course [he]108-jay ’s stressed . [The reporter in [me]2959-i]1529-the reporter in me wants to deal with this situation , find the leak , and fight [our]1530-our way back to the top . [The lover in [me]2959-i]1529-the reporter in me wants to steal [my]2959-i Jay away and take [him]108-jay to [an island in [the Bahamas]1532-the bahamas]1531-an island in the bahamas and let [him]108-jay live a peaceful , relaxed lifestyle . . . where the only thing [he]108-jay has to worry about is pushing [[his]108-jay children]1533-his children on a swing . [[His]108-jay children]1533-his children . [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i chest constrict as [I]2959-i get a peep into the future with [Jameson]186-jameson . Will [[his]108-jay children]1533-his children bear this stress ? Will [they]1533-his children be able to feel [[their]1533-his children father]2422-their father ’s worry through [his]2422-their father touch ? [They]1533-his children ’d have to — [I]2959-i know [I]2959-i do . [God]0-aaron , [I]2959-i need to wind [him]2422-their father down so that [he]2422-their father can deal with all of this crap . How do [I]2959-i do that ? [I]2959-i think for a moment and clap on cue as another award is announced . [He]2422-their father needs to get out of [New York]385-new york . Yes , that ’s it . A weekend away . Somewhere crazy different . [I]2959-i smile as the idea takes shape in [my]2959-i mind . “ And now for the major award for the night , ”[2959-i] [the MC]2959-i announces . “ The Diamond Award for exceptional media coverage goes to . . . ”[2959-i] The drum rolls . [He]2959-i opens the envelope and smiles with a shake of [his]2959-i head . “ Well , well . . . it seems [we]1536-we have a changing of [the guard]477-the guard . ”[2959-i] [The crowd]265-the crowd falls silent . “ Ferrara Media . ”[265-the crowd] [The crowd]265-the crowd applauds , and the Ferrara table erupts into cheers . [Jameson]186-jameson clenches [his]186-jameson jaw and sips [his]186-jameson drink . “ Fuck , ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan mutters under [his]186-jameson breath . [Our]1536-we table stays silent as [we]1536-we watch [Gabriel Ferrara]2430-tristan take the stage to accept the award . [He]2430-tristan holds it up in the air , and [the people in [the crowd]265-the crowd]1537-the people in the crowd all laugh and cheer , and [he]2430-tristan takes the microphone . “ Thank [you]186-jameson . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan looks around [the room]514-the room . “ It means a lot . Commiserations to [Miles Media]68-miles media , who have won this award consecutively for the last sixteen years . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan blows a cheeky kiss to [Jameson]186-jameson and then waves down to [our]1536-we table . [Jameson]186-jameson glares at [him]186-jameson . [His]186-jameson tongue runs across [his]186-jameson teeth as sheer contempt drips from [his]186-jameson every pore . “ [I]186-jameson think it is safe to say”—Gabriel[186-jameson] smiles sarcastically—“that in the last twelve months [we]1536-we have led the market with [our]1536-we cutting - edge news delivery . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson holds up [his]186-jameson finger . “ [We]1536-we are now [the number one media empire in [the world]249-the world]3061-the number one media empire in the world . ”[186-jameson] [The crowd]265-the crowd claps and cheers . [He]186-jameson holds the trophy in the air . The Ferrara table goes wild . “ [You]1541-you ’ve got to be joking , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i scoff , unable to help it . [The Miles family]1143-the miles family glares at [Gabriel]2430-tristan as [he]2430-tristan stands on stage . . . and [I]2959-i can feel [their]1143-the miles family anger because [I]2959-i have it too . [I]2959-i can feel it growing inside [me]2959-i like a pulsing disease . It ’s one thing to lose [your]1541-you crown , but to have it taken by [a thief who ’s stealing [your]1541-you work]1542-a thief who ’s stealing your work is a completely different ball game . [Gabriel]2430-tristan bows and then takes a seat back at [his]2430-tristan table . [He]2430-tristan kisses the trophy as [the photographers]1543-the photographers snap away . This win will be headlining tomorrow ’s news stories across [the country]2320-the country . Fury and silence sweep around [our]1545-our table . [Nobody]2321-nobody says a word . [I]2959-i stare at [him]2430-tristan across [the room]514-the room and want to wipe that sleazy smile off [his]2430-tristan gorgeous face . And [I]2959-i will . Prepare [yourself]1541-you , [Mr. Gabriel Ferrara]2430-tristan . [I]2959-i ’m taking [you]1541-you down . [I]2959-i gasp for breath as [I]2959-i watch [Jameson]186-jameson lap [me]2959-i in [Central Park]17-central park . It ’s six o’clock , and the sun is just rising . [He]186-jameson ’s running particularly fast today . . . and [I]2959-i ’m letting [him]186-jameson . [I]2959-i get it now ; [his]186-jameson responsibility is not something [he]186-jameson can just switch off at the end of the day . [I]2959-i feel it for [him]186-jameson too now . Last night , however infuriating it was , taught [me]2959-i a valuable lesson on [[his]186-jameson competitors]1548-his competitors . [They]1548-his competitors have no morals and no fear , and that makes [them]1548-his competitors very [dangerous players]1549-dangerous players indeed . [Jameson]186-jameson turns and sprints back to [me]2959-i . [He]186-jameson ’s always careful [he]186-jameson keeps [me]2959-i in [his]186-jameson sight . [He]186-jameson was quiet when [we]1550-we came [home]2289-home last night , deep in thought . [We]1550-we had a shower and made love , and then [he]186-jameson finally relaxed a little . [I]2959-i made [us]1550-we a snack , and [we]1550-we lay on the couch in each other ’s arms and watched a movie for a while . [We]1550-we went to bed late , but [we]1550-we needed the time together to wind down . [Neither of [us]1550-we]757-neither of us brought up the award ceremony . [We]1550-we did n’t speak of it at all — there ’s nothing to say . It is what it is . No amount of conversation can take away the fact that [Ferrara Media]203-ferrara media has been rewarded for being deceitful . It ’s eating [me]2959-i alive ; [I]2959-i can only imagine what it ’s doing to [Jameson]186-jameson . [He]186-jameson comes to a stop in front of [me]2959-i , panting heavily . “ [You]3063-you ’re especially slow this morning , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson teases . “ [You]3063-you ’re especially fast today . That ax must be big . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson chuckles as [he]186-jameson leans in to kiss [me]2959-i . “ Fucking huge . ”[186-jameson] [We]1550-we turn and begin the slow jog back [home]2289-home . “ [I]186-jameson ’ll organize [Alan]246-alan for the weekend to get [your]3063-you things ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson says as [he]186-jameson runs . “ About that . . . ”[186-jameson] “ Yes ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson pants , still exhausted from [his]186-jameson sprinting . “ [I]186-jameson have a proposal for [you]3063-you . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson stops running . “ Such as ? ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i turn and take [his]186-jameson hands in [mine]2959-i . “ [I]2959-i ’ll move in with [you]3063-you on one condition . ”[2959-i] “ What ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson stares at [me]2959-i as if already annoyed by [my]2959-i bartering . “ [I]186-jameson ’ll move in with [you]3063-you if [we]3064-we can get out of [New York]385-new york on the weekends . ”[186-jameson] “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ Well , not every weekend . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . “ But enough that [we]3064-we can relax . ”[2959-i] “ [New York]385-new york is [[my]2959-i home]385-new york . [I]2959-i am relaxed . What are [you]3063-you talking about , [woman]76-woman ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile and start jogging again . [He]186-jameson catches up with [me]2959-i . “ What ? ”[186-jameson] “ It ’s impossible to relax here , [Jay]108-jay . [This city]385-new york is hectic . The energy of [this place]385-new york could be seen from space . Sirens sound all night , [cars]3066-cars and traffic and millions of [people]248-people all buzzing at a million miles an hour . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson watches [me]2959-i as [he]186-jameson listens . “ [We]3064-we do n’t have to go far out of [the city]385-new york . [I]186-jameson ’ve already booked a surprise trip away for [us]3064-we this weekend . ”[186-jameson] “ Since when ? ”[186-jameson] “ Since yesterday . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ’m totally lying through [my]2959-i teeth here , but whatever . “ Think about it . [We]3064-we live in [[your]3068-your apartment]2745-your apartment through the week and work hard . Then on the weekends , [we]3064-we completely switch off . No phones , no internet . Just [us]3064-we . ”[2959-i] “ What ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson frowns . “ That ’s impossible . [I]186-jameson need to be online at all times , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] “ No , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pant as [we]1554-we run . “ What [you]186-jameson need is to recharge so that [you]186-jameson can be [the best CEO]3070-the best ceo [you]186-jameson can be . A tired , stressed - out version of [you]186-jameson wo n’t be half as switched on . ”[2959-i] [We]1554-we run until [we]1554-we hit [the street]550-the street , and then [we]1554-we look both ways as [we]1554-we wait to cross . “ And besides , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pant , “ this way [I]2959-i get the best of both worlds . ”[2959-i] “ What do [you]186-jameson mean ? ”[2959-i] “ Well , [I]2959-i ’m utterly in love with [[my]2959-i Jim]3071-my jim , [the man [I]2959-i met on [the plane]268-the plane]3071-my jim . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i listens . “ And [I]186-jameson ’m learning to love [the stressed - out CEO who takes over [his]2959-i body]3073-the stressed - out ceo who takes over his body sometimes . ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson smiles as [he]186-jameson runs , finally putting the pieces together . “ This way . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pant . God , why do [I]2959-i insist on talking as [I]2959-i run ? “ This way [I]186-jameson get to spend time with both of [[my]186-jameson men]3074-my men . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson grabs [my]2959-i hand and pulls [me]2959-i back to [him]186-jameson ; [his]186-jameson lips take [mine]2959-i as [he]186-jameson clutches [my]2959-i face in [his]186-jameson hands . [His]186-jameson tongue swipes through [my]2959-i lips , and [his]186-jameson kiss is electric with just the right amount of suction . [We]1556-we kiss again and again , and [my]2959-i hands go to [his]186-jameson hips . What must [we]1556-we look like , making out on [the street corner]1557-the street corner ? [My]2959-i eyes search [his]186-jameson . “ Do [we]1556-we have a deal ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Am [I]186-jameson moving in ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson trails [his]186-jameson fingers down [my]2959-i face . “ [I]186-jameson guess [we]1556-we can come to some kind of weekend arrangement . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i smile . “ Only because both of [[your]3075-you men]3076-your men love to fuck [you]3075-you . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson grabs [my]2959-i hips and bounces them off [his]186-jameson . [I]2959-i giggle against [his]186-jameson lips as [he]186-jameson holds [my]2959-i head to [his]186-jameson . “ [You]3075-you ’re a sex maniac , [Miles]186-jameson , ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i whisper . [He]186-jameson grabs [my]2959-i behind once more , and a car horn sounds . “ Get [a room]692-a room , ”[2300-a man] [a man]2300-a man calls . [We]1559-we both laugh and begin to run across [the street]550-the street . [I]2959-i smile over at [him]2300-a man as [we]1559-we run . “ What ? ”[2300-a man] [He]2300-a man smirks . “ Nothing . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i slap [his]2300-a man behind . “ Race [you]3075-you [home]2289-home . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i take off . “ [I]2300-a man could beat [you]3075-you with [my]2300-a man legs tied . ”[2300-a man] [He]2300-a man laughs from behind . “ In fact , if [I]2300-a man beat [you]3075-you , [I]2300-a man am tying [you]3075-you up . ”[2300-a man] “ Not if [I]2959-i tie [you]3075-you up first , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i call as [I]2959-i sprint . [I]2959-i giggle as [I]2959-i hear [his]2300-a man footsteps behind [me]2959-i . Now there ’s an incentive to run fast . Knock , knock . [I]2959-i tap on [Tristan]2430-tristan ’s door . “ Come in , ”[2300-a man] [his]2300-a man deep voice calls . [I]2959-i peek around the door . [Tristan]2430-tristan is sitting at [his]2430-tristan desk . “ Come in , [Em]186-jameson . ”[2300-a man] [He]2300-a man smiles . [Em]186-jameson . [I]2959-i smile and take a seat at [his]2430-tristan desk . [I]2959-i ’ve decided that [I]2959-i ’m keeping [Tristan]2430-tristan completely up to date . . . with everything . [He]2430-tristan loves [Jameson]186-jameson , and [he]2430-tristan will decipher what [Jay]108-jay needs to know and what [he]2430-tristan does n’t . [His]108-jay eyes hold [mine]2959-i with a tender glow . “ [You]108-jay were a hit with [[our]108-jay parents]3079-our parents last night . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ Really ? ”[2959-i] “ [[My]108-jay mother]356-my mother was gushing about [you]108-jay this morning . ”[108-jay] [He]108-jay smiles as [he]108-jay holds [his]108-jay pen in [his]108-jay hand and swivels on [his]108-jay chair . “ [I]108-jay just wanted to keep [you]108-jay updated on a few things . ”[108-jay] [He]108-jay frowns . “ Okay . ”[108-jay] “ [I]2959-i ’m going to keep [my]2959-i relationship with [Jameson]186-jameson completely unrelated to work . [I]2959-i feel [he]108-jay needs a break from it . ”[2959-i] “ [I]108-jay agree . [He]108-jay does . ”[108-jay] “ So , therefore , there are a few things that [I]108-jay wanted to discuss with [you]108-jay . ”[108-jay] “ [Great]204-great . Fire away . ”[2959-i] “ Well , [you]108-jay know how [we]3081-we ’ve been suspicious of [Hayden]266-jim ? ”[108-jay] “ Yes . ”[108-jay] [He]108-jay frowns . “ [I]108-jay found out from [Molly]198-molly — and this is just rumors — that [Hayden]266-jim was fired from [the Gazette]596-the gazette for a phone - tapping scandal . ”[108-jay] [He]108-jay sits forward in [his]108-jay seat . “ Like what ? ”[108-jay] “ Apparently — and honestly , [I]108-jay have no idea if this is true , but [Molly]198-molly said it was what circulated at the time — [he]108-jay was tapping [Keely May]198-molly ’s phone and stealing [her]198-molly stories . ”[108-jay] “ What ? ”[108-jay] [he]108-jay snaps . “ Are [you]108-jay fucking kidding [me]108-jay ? ”[108-jay] “ No . ”[108-jay] [He]108-jay smiles broadly . “ This is excellent . This gives [me]108-jay enough ammunition . ”[108-jay] “ To do what ? ”[2959-i] “ To get a search on [his]108-jay computers . [We]3083-we have n’t tapped [him]108-jay yet . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile proudly . “ Hopefully this will help [us]3083-we . ”[2959-i] “ Good work , [Em]3084-em . ”[108-jay] [He]108-jay swivels on [his]108-jay chair and makes a note . [I]2959-i watch [him]108-jay for a moment . “ There was also something else . ”[108-jay] [His]108-jay eyes rise . “ [I]108-jay have n’t said anything to [Jameson]186-jameson , but [Gabriel Ferrara]2430-tristan made a pass at [me]108-jay last night . ”[108-jay] [His]108-jay face falls . “ [He]108-jay did what ? ”[108-jay] [he]108-jay snaps . “ Do n’t get excited , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . “ What did [he]108-jay say ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i think back . “ [I]2430-tristan was at [the bar]459-the bar , and [he]108-jay asked [me]2430-tristan who [I]2430-tristan was . [I]2430-tristan thought [he]108-jay was just being nice , and [I]2430-tristan replied [Emily]186-jameson . ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan frowns as [he]108-jay listens . “ Then [he]108-jay picked up [my]108-jay hand and kissed the back of it and said , ‘ [My]108-jay name is [Gabriel Ferrara]2430-tristan , and [I]108-jay like to take over all things owned by [Jameson Miles]186-jameson . ’ ”[108-jay] [Tristan]2430-tristan ’s eyes widen . “ Then [he]108-jay said , ‘ [Women]276-women included . ’ ”[2430-tristan] “ What the fuck ? ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan snaps . “ Are [you]2430-tristan fucking serious ? ”[108-jay] [He]108-jay stands in a rush . “ But [I]2959-i do n’t know if [I]2959-i read it the wrong way or . . . , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . “ [I]2430-tristan do n’t want to be making more of this than it is , but [I]2430-tristan felt that it was really quite off . ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan ’s eyes blaze with anger . “ What did [you]2430-tristan say ? ”[2430-tristan] “ [I]2959-i told [him]108-jay [he]108-jay was insulting [my]2959-i intelligence and to go away . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i curl [my]2959-i lip in disgust . “ [He]108-jay makes [my]2959-i skin crawl . ”[2959-i] “ Fucking hell . ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan sighs as [he]108-jay turns and puts [his]108-jay hands into [his]108-jay suit pockets and stares out the window , deep in thought . “ [I]2430-tristan did n’t say anything to [Jameson]186-jameson because [I]2430-tristan feel like that ’s exactly what [Gabriel]2430-tristan wanted [me]2430-tristan to do . ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan ’s jaw ticks in anger . “ [He]2430-tristan wants to start a war . ”[2430-tristan] “ That ’s what it felt like . . . there could be no other explanation , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [He]2430-tristan ’s trying to rattle [him]2430-tristan by attacking [him]2430-tristan on a personal basis . ”[2959-i] “ Yes . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sigh as [my]2959-i heart bleeds for [[my]2959-i Jay]1145-my jay . “ [I]2430-tristan worried about whether [I]2430-tristan should say anything to [you]1145-my jay all night . ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan ’s eyes come to [me]2959-i . “ Do n’t tell [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[2430-tristan] “ Okay . ”[2430-tristan] “ Let ’s keep this between [us]3087-us . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i exhale heavily . “ [I]2959-i ’m concerned about [Jameson]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i says . “ [He]2959-i ’s about to fucking crack . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2430-tristan know ; [I]2430-tristan ’m going to try to get [him]2959-i out of [the city]2-the city for the weekends and get [him]2959-i offline . [I]2430-tristan ’m doing all [I]2430-tristan can to keep [him]2959-i calm . ”[2430-tristan] “ Good idea . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i nods , still deep in thought . “ If [you]3089-you had told [him]2959-i about [Gabriel]2430-tristan , [he]2959-i would be over there strangling [the fucker]3090-the fucker right now . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pinch the bridge of [my]2959-i nose . “ [I]2959-i know . ”[2959-i] “ [You]3089-you did the right thing . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i smiles . “ Thank [you]3089-you for telling [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes hold [his]2959-i . “ [I]2959-i hate not telling [Jameson]186-jameson , but [I]2959-i feel like [I]2959-i need to protect [him]186-jameson from this . [Gabriel]2430-tristan is just trying to rattle [him]2430-tristan . ”[2959-i] “ [My]2959-i thoughts exactly , ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i agrees . “ Thanks , [I]2959-i ’ll get on this now . Can [you]3089-you do [me]2959-i a favor and try to find out as much about [Hayden]266-jim ’s personal life as [you]3089-you can ? Where [he]2959-i hangs out , [partner]3091-partner , that kind of thing . ”[2959-i] “ Okay , [I]2959-i ’m on it . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stand and leave [[his]2959-i office]2600-jameson ’s office and walk over to [[Jameson]186-jameson ’s office]2600-jameson ’s office , and [I]2959-i knock on the door . “ Come in , ”[2959-i] [his]2959-i deep , velvety voice calls . [I]2959-i open the door to see [my]2959-i beautiful man sitting behind [his]2959-i desk . [He]2959-i smiles warmly when [he]2959-i sees [me]2959-i and pats [his]2959-i lap . [I]2959-i lock the door and sit on [his]2959-i lap and take [his]2959-i lips with [mine]2959-i . “ Hello , [boss]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i runs [his]2959-i hand up [my]2959-i thigh . [His]2959-i mouth goes to [my]2959-i neck , and [I]2959-i smile , and then [I]2959-i see it . A half - empty glass of scotch sitting on [his]2959-i desk . [I]2959-i glance at [my]2959-i watch . “ It ’s eleven o’clock , [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i rolls [his]2959-i eyes and pushes [me]2959-i off [his]2959-i lap . “ [I]2959-i needed something to take the edge off . Do n’t fucking start , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ Okay , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Are [you]186-jameson okay ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i ’m fine , ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i snaps as [he]2959-i turns back to [his]2959-i desk . “ Three days until [our]3092-our weekend away , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [His]2959-i phone rings , and [he]2959-i glances at the screen . “ Ca n’t come soon enough . [I]2959-i have to take this . See [you]186-jameson tonight . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i kiss [him]2959-i softly , and then [he]2959-i answers the call . [His]2959-i voice instantly turns to the authoritative tone [he]2959-i uses with [everyone else]1563-everyone else . [I]2959-i stand at the door and watch [him]2959-i as [he]2959-i listens . [He]2959-i mindlessly picks up the scotch and sips it before [he]2959-i talks . [My]2959-i heart drops . [Many a stressed - out CEO]1564-many a stressed - out ceo has been found in the bottom of a Blue Label scotch bottle . Please , not [mine]2959-i . . . [I]2959-i look around guiltily and then back down to [my]2959-i phone , and [I]2959-i put into [the search bar]1565-the search bar “ budget weekends away . ”[2959-i] “ God , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sigh . “ Where can [I]2959-i take [him]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] “ Are [you]2959-i still going on about that ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron asks . [Molly]198-molly slides [her]198-molly chair to look over [my]2959-i shoulder . “ [I]198-molly want to take [him]2959-i somewhere that money ca n’t buy . ”[198-molly] [I]2959-i twist [my]2959-i lips as [I]2959-i think . “ It has to be something really special . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron chuckles . “ [Your]0-aaron special and [Jameson Miles]186-jameson ’s special may be a little different . ”[0-aaron] “ The thing is , when [he]2959-i ’s at [[my]198-molly apartment]766-my apartment , [he]2959-i detaches from who [he]2959-i is . [I]198-molly want [him]2959-i to realize that [we]3094-we do n’t need to live in [a swanky apartment]766-my apartment to be happy . ”[198-molly] “ [You]0-aaron ’re fucking crazy . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly sighs . “ What [I]198-molly would n’t give to live in [[his]2959-i swanky apartment]766-my apartment . [Anybody]457-anybody would be happy as a pig in mud there . When are [you]0-aaron inviting [us]3094-we over , [bitch]0-aaron ? ”[198-molly] “ Right ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron laughs . “ Hmm . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i narrow [my]2959-i eyes as [I]2959-i think . “ What about camping ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly says . [My]2959-i eyes flick to [her]198-molly . “ Oh , but [we]3094-we do n’t have a tent or anything , and [I]198-molly wo n’t have time to buy it . ”[198-molly] “ [I]2959-i ’ve got it all . [You]0-aaron can borrow [ours]3094-we . [Michael]60-michael and [the kids]452-the kids go camping all the time . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [her]198-molly for a moment . “ Do [you]0-aaron reckon [he]60-michael ’s ever gone camping before ? ”[2959-i] “ Umm . . . that would be a definite no . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron widens [his]0-aaron eyes to accentuate [his]0-aaron point . “ [Nobody]2321-nobody goes camping of [their]2321-nobody own free will . ”[0-aaron] Excitement fills [me]2959-i . “ Really ? Could [we]3094-we borrow [your]0-aaron things ? [You]0-aaron would n’t mind ? ”[2959-i] “ Not at all . Take it . [Michael]60-michael and [the kids]452-the kids are going to [Dallas]30-dallas on Friday to see [[his]60-michael parents]2353-his parents for a week . [They]2353-his parents wo n’t be using it . ”[2959-i] “ Maybe . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as the idea takes shape in [my]2959-i head . “ But [the car]369-the car , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say , thinking out loud . “ Take [[Michael]60-michael ’s pickup truck]3100-michael ’s pickup truck , [Bessie]205-bessie . Give [him]60-michael [the full Swamp People]3101-the full swamp people experience . ”[2959-i] “ Really ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk as [I]2959-i imagine [Jameson]186-jameson in [a pickup]1566-a pickup . “ Yeah , it ’s a total piece of shit , but it ’s reliable . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron shakes [his]0-aaron head in disgust . “ Are [you]0-aaron trying to scare [him]60-michael away on purpose ? ”[0-aaron] “ No , [I]2959-i ’m trying to bring [him]60-michael back to [earth]872-earth . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as excitement sweeps through [me]2959-i . “ [He]60-michael ’ll land with a thud ; that ’s for sure . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron smirks . [I]2959-i laugh as [I]2959-i begin to google campgrounds . “ This is going to be so much fun . ”[2959-i] On Friday afternoon , [I]2959-i drive into [the underground parking lot of [[Jameson]186-jameson ’s building]1368-jameson ’s building with a huge smile on [my]2959-i face]1567-the underground parking lot of jameson ’s building with a huge smile on my face . [I]2959-i ’ve laughed all the way here from [[Molly]198-molly ’s house]1569-molly ’s house . [I]2959-i ’ve called [Jay]108-jay and told [him]108-jay to be waiting near the door for [me]2959-i to collect [him]108-jay . [I]2959-i drive around the corner , and [I]2959-i see [him]108-jay standing there waiting with [Alan]246-alan and [our]1570-our bags . [He]108-jay sees [me]2959-i , and [his]108-jay face drops . [I]2959-i honk the horn and bounce in the seat and pull [[Bessie]205-bessie the pickup truck up beside [him]108-jay]1571-bessie the pickup truck up beside him . [His]108-jay face horrified , [he]108-jay comes to [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i roll down the window . “ Going [my]108-jay way ? ”[108-jay] [I]2959-i ask . “ What the fuck is this ? ”[108-jay] [he]108-jay gasps . “ This is [Bessie]205-bessie . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile proudly . [Alan]246-alan puts [his]246-alan hand over [his]246-alan mouth to stop [himself]246-alan from laughing out loud . “ What ? ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson frowns as [he]246-alan looks at [the huge , beat - up light - blue truck]1572-the pickup . [His]246-alan eyes come back to [me]2959-i . “ Get in , [Miles]186-jameson . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i smile and wiggle [my]2959-i eyebrows . “ [I]246-alan ’m taking [you]246-alan camping . ”[246-alan] Chapter 19 [He]246-alan stares at [me]2959-i , lost for words . [Alan]246-alan drops [his]246-alan head as [his]246-alan chuckle breaks through . [Jameson]186-jameson stares at [me]2959-i . . . horrified . [I]2959-i laugh out loud at the look on [his]186-jameson face . [I]2959-i put [the pickup]1572-the pickup into park and jump out and start throwing [our]1573-our bags into the back . “ [You]246-alan ca n’t be serious , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson stammers . “ Deadly . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson eyes scan [the beat - up old truck]1574-the beat - up old truck . “ [This car]1349-a car is n’t even roadworthy . ”[186-jameson] “ It ’s not [a car]1349-a car — it ’s [a truck]3104-a truck . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i slam the back shut . “ [Her]1349-a car name is [Bessie]205-bessie . ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson puts [his]186-jameson hands on [his]186-jameson hips . [His]186-jameson eyes glance to [Alan]246-alan , who is laughing out loud . “ This is n’t fucking funny , [Alan]246-alan , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson snaps . “ [I]246-alan do n’t camp , [Emily]186-jameson . Surely [you]186-jameson would know this . What on [God]0-aaron ’s earth would make [you]186-jameson think of this cockamamie idea ? This is not relaxing [me]246-alan in the slightest . [I]246-alan can feel [my]246-alan blood pressure skyrocketing by the second . ”[246-alan] [Alan]246-alan drops [his]246-alan head and really begins to laugh . “ Forgive [me]186-jameson , [boss man]246-alan , but this is the funniest thing [I]186-jameson ’ve ever seen . Can [I]186-jameson take a photo for [Tris]2430-tristan ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson asks . “ Absolutely not , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson huffs . “ Shut up , or [I]246-alan ’ll make [you]186-jameson come with [us]3105-we . ”[246-alan] [Alan]246-alan bites [his]246-alan bottom lip to stop the giggles . “ Why would [we]3105-we need to take this . . . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson pauses as [he]186-jameson finds the right word . “ Hunk of junk ? ”[186-jameson] “ Because [we]3105-we ’re going off the grid . ”[246-alan] “ [Emily Foster]186-jameson , this is n’t off the grid . This is a recipe for instantaneous death . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i slump in the seat and pull a whiny face . “ [You]186-jameson promised . It ’s three days , [Jameson]186-jameson , and then [I]2959-i ’ll come back and move in . ”[2959-i] [He]186-jameson puts [his]186-jameson hands on [his]186-jameson hips and rolls [his]186-jameson eyes , and [he]186-jameson knows [I]2959-i ’ve got [him]186-jameson . [He]186-jameson did promise . [I]2959-i toot the horn , and [he]186-jameson comes around to [the driver]530-the driver ’s side and opens the door . “ What are [you]3106-you doing ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ Driving . ”[2959-i] “ Do [you]3106-you know how to drive a column shift ? ”[186-jameson] “ A what ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson frowns . [I]2959-i point to the gear stick on the steering wheel . [His]186-jameson face screws up . “ Is this even legal to have on [the road]533-the road ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i laugh . “ Yes . ”[2959-i] “ Then get out . [I]186-jameson ’m driving . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson pulls [me]2959-i from [the car]369-the car , and [I]2959-i jump around to the passenger side and climb in . [He]186-jameson gets in and goes through the gears with a look of sheer concentration on [his]186-jameson face . [Alan]246-alan and [I]2959-i giggle at each other as [we]1577-we wait for [him]186-jameson to work it out . “ Okay , [I]246-alan ’ve got this , ”[246-alan] replies [Jameson Miles]186-jameson , [the control freak]186-jameson . “ Let ’s go , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sing . “ Toot the horn for [Alan]246-alan . ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson looks over at [me]2959-i deadpan , and [I]2959-i do a “ toot the horn ”[2959-i] signal that [I]2959-i used to do to [passing trucks]1578-passing trucks when [I]2959-i was [a child]1579-a child . “ [Emily]186-jameson , [I]246-alan do n’t know what that means , but it ’s a surefire way to get thrown in the trunk . ”[246-alan] [Alan]246-alan bursts out laughing again , and [I]2959-i bounce in the seat in excitement . “ Bye , [Alan]246-alan , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i call . [He]246-alan waves . [Jameson]186-jameson stops and calls to [Alan]246-alan through the open window . “ Have [your]246-alan phone on . [We]3108-we ’re going to need [you]246-alan to pick [us]3108-we up from the side of [the road]533-the road in approximately seventeen miles when [we]3108-we break down . ”[246-alan] [Alan]246-alan and [I]2959-i laugh again , and as [Alan]246-alan waves , [Jameson]186-jameson bunny hops [the pickup]1572-the pickup out of [the parking lot]1371-the parking lot . [We]1582-we get to the security gates , and [he]246-alan ’s too high and ca n’t swipe [his]246-alan card . “ Fuck this piece of junk , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan mutters under [his]246-alan breath as [he]246-alan puts [the car]369-the car in [park]2916-park and gets out to open the gates . [He]246-alan swipes [his]246-alan card , and the gates slowly open . [He]246-alan jumps back in and revs [the truck]1585-the truck , and it bunny hops up [the driveway]1586-the driveway to the sound of gears crunching . “ Fuck . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan winces . “ Who owns this piece of shit , anyway ? ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan asks as [we]1587-we pull out into the [New York]385-new york traffic . “ [Michael]60-michael , [[Molly]198-molly ’s husband]3110-molly ’s husband . ”[246-alan] [His]246-alan eyes flick to [me]2959-i . “ Is n’t that [the fucking idiot who OD’d on [Viagra]26-viagra]3111-the fucking idiot who od’d on viagra , and [you]3111-the fucking idiot who od’d on viagra had to take [him]3111-the fucking idiot who od’d on viagra to [the emergency room]3112-the emergency room ? ”[246-alan] “ That ’s [him]3111-the fucking idiot who od’d on viagra . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ Figures , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan mutters as [he]246-alan drives . “ Okay , where are [we]3113-we going ? ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i pull up [my]2959-i maps on [my]2959-i phone . “ Okay . . . [we]3113-we need to get on [the interstate]3114-the interstate . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan looks at [me]2959-i in question . “ [We]3113-we ’re going to [High Point State Park]31-high point state park , [New Jersey]32-new jersey . ”[246-alan] “ What ? ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan frowns . “ What in the hell is there ? ”[246-alan] “ [Me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i lean over and kiss the side of [his]246-alan face . “ Nothing but [me]246-alan . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan smiles as [he]246-alan keeps [his]246-alan eyes on [the road]533-the road and slides [his]246-alan hand over to [my]2959-i thigh and gives it a squeeze . “ Lucky [you]2959-i ’re [my]246-alan favorite thing , then , is n’t it ? ”[246-alan] A huge beaming smile is plastered across [my]2959-i face . [He]246-alan ’s actually doing this . “ It sure is . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i lean over and begin to kiss [him]246-alan all over [his]246-alan cheek . [He]246-alan scrunches [his]246-alan face up . “ Stop . It ’s hard enough to drive [Bitchy]206-bitchy as it is . ”[246-alan] “ [Her]206-bitchy name is [Bessie]205-bessie , not [Bitchy]206-bitchy . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan smirks . “ [We]1589-we ’ll see if [she]206-bitchy gets [us]1589-we [home]2289-home in one piece , shall [we]1589-we ? ”[246-alan] Two hours later , [we]1589-we see the sign into [High Point State Park]31-high point state park . There ’s [a dirt road]533-the road , and [Jameson]186-jameson looks over at [me]2959-i in question . “ Is this it ? ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i shrug , suddenly feeling a little nervous . “ Uh - huh . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look around . “ [I]2959-i think so . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i really need this weekend to work out ; [I]2959-i want [us]1589-we to have fun and relax . Deep down [I]2959-i know that if [Jay]108-jay does n’t get a handle on [his]108-jay stress from work , [I]2959-i may lose [him]108-jay anyway . [His]108-jay temper is not something [I]2959-i could live with long term . [We]1589-we turn off [the main road]533-the road and drive down [the track]533-the road . [We]1589-we both fall silent as [we]1589-we follow [the trail]533-the road . [I]2959-i study the map on [my]2959-i phone . “ It says here to go right to the end of [this road]533-the road and then turn right . ”[2959-i] “ Okay , ”[108-jay] [he]108-jay replies as [the truck]1585-the truck bounces around on [the rough road]533-the road . [His]108-jay eyes glance over to [me]2959-i . “ Are [you]2959-i sure it ’s down here ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . “ That ’s what it says here . ”[2959-i] The trees are tall and are blocking out the last of the sun . “ [I]186-jameson saw a documentary made here once , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson says as [he]186-jameson concentrates on [the road]533-the road . “ What was that ? ”[186-jameson] “ The Blair Witch Project , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson mutters dryly . [I]2959-i get the giggles as [we]1589-we go farther and farther into [the forest]1592-the forest . What the hell was [I]2959-i thinking ? This is freaking even [me]2959-i out . [We]1589-we pass a campsite on the left as [we]1589-we go down [the hill]533-the road . There ’s [a small tent]1593-the tent , and [two teenage boys]1594-two teenage boys are sitting at [an open campfire]1595-an open campfire . [I]2959-i watch [them]1594-two teenage boys as [we]1589-we pass . “ [They]1594-two teenage boys look like [they]1594-two teenage boys ’re having fun . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ [They]1594-two teenage boys ’re about to go into [the tent]1593-the tent and take turns fucking each other , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson mutters . “ Only logical explanation as to why [they]1594-two teenage boys would come out here . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk . “ Will [you]2959-i stop being so pessimistic ? It ’s three nights , and [we]1589-we get to be alone without [anyone]272-anyone around . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson nods and then frowns as [he]186-jameson thinks of something . “ Where are [the bathrooms]3117-the bathrooms ? ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson eyes flick to [me]2959-i . “ [We]1589-we have [[our]1589-we own bathroom]3118-our own bathroom , right ? ”[186-jameson] “ Well . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pause . “ Well , what ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson snaps . “ [I]186-jameson am not fucking staying anywhere without [a bathroom]3119-a bathroom , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] “ There are [bathrooms]3120-bathrooms . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i turn the phone map around as [I]2959-i try to locate where [they]1596-they are from [[our]1597-our tent]1598-our tent . “ Ah yes , here [they]1596-they are . Just a short trek . ”[2959-i] “ A trek ? ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson eyes flick anxiously to [me]2959-i . “ Define trek . ”[262-oh man] [Oh man]262-oh man , it ’s a long trek , but [I]2959-i wo n’t tell [him]262-oh man that just yet . [He]262-oh man ’s likely to turn around . “ It ’s close — don’t worry , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i lie . [We]1600-we get to [the bottom of [the hill]1590-the hill]1601-the bottom of the hill , and [the road]533-the road goes into a fork . [A lake]1604-a lake is straight ahead , and the sunlight is just beginning to fade . [I]2959-i smile in excitement . “ Turn right . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson carefully turns right , and [we]1600-we go along a little bit . “ Should be just up here . ”[186-jameson] “ Where ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson frowns . “ Just park anywhere . ”[186-jameson] “ What do [you]262-oh man mean ? ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson eyes come over to [me]2959-i . “ [We]1600-we just set up where [we]1600-we want . ”[186-jameson] “ What , [like”—he]207-like”—he[186-jameson] screws up [his]186-jameson face as [he]186-jameson looks around—“on the dirt ? ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i laugh . “ Were [you]262-oh man expecting oak parquetry floor ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson rolls [his]186-jameson eyes and parks [the truck]1585-the truck , and [I]2959-i get out and walk up and down [the water]1079-the water ’s edge . “ What are [you]262-oh man doing ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson asks . “ Looking for a good spot to set up . It needs to be high and flat . ”[186-jameson] “ Why high ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson asks as [he]186-jameson starts to look around . “ In case it rains . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson eyes come to [me]2959-i in horror . “ Do n’t even say that . ”[186-jameson] “ Quick , [we]1600-we have to get a move on . ”[186-jameson] “ Why ? ”[186-jameson] “ It ’s getting dark . [We]1600-we ’re running out of sunlight . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson looks up at the sky . “ Do [we]1600-we have lighting ? ”[186-jameson] “ [We]1600-we have a flashlight and two of those little headlight things that strap on [our]1600-we heads . ”[186-jameson] “ Good grief , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson snaps as [he]186-jameson begins to throw the things out of the back with urgency . “ [I]186-jameson ’m not wearing a fucking strap - on headlight in [this stupid man - versus - wild experiment]3121-this stupid man - versus - wild experiment . It ’s bad enough when [I]186-jameson can see . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i laugh as [I]2959-i grab [the tent]1593-the tent in its bag and begin to unpack it . [I]2959-i hand [him]186-jameson the broom . “ Sweep the dirt . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson looks at [me]2959-i , completely lost . “ What ? ”[186-jameson] “ Sweep the dirt — clear a patch for [us]1600-we . No sticks or anything can be under [the tent]1593-the tent . ”[186-jameson] “ Sweep the dirt , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson repeats . “ Yes , [Jameson]186-jameson . Hurry up , or [you]186-jameson will be doing it in the dark . ”[186-jameson] “ Jesus Christ . . . now [I]186-jameson ’ve heard it all , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson mutters as [he]186-jameson begins to sweep a patch of dirt to clear it . “ Who sweeps fucking dirt ? ”[186-jameson] “ [Campers]3122-campers . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk as [I]2959-i open the instructions , and then [my]2959-i face falls . The instructions look like [they]1608-they ’re to build a nuclear reactor . Oh jeez , [Molly]198-molly said it was easy to put up . Okay . . . whatever . It will be fine . [I]2959-i inwardly begin to panic . [We]1609-we are not going [home]2289-home . [I]2959-i spread [the tent]1593-the tent out , and [I]2959-i hear a slap . “ Ow . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i keep concentrating as [I]2959-i get the poles out of [their]1608-they bag . [I]2959-i hear another slap . “ What the hell ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson cries . “ What ? ”[186-jameson] “ These bugs are from [Jurassic Park]33-jurassic park . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson swings [his]186-jameson arms around to get them off [him]186-jameson . “ No bugs are this big . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i go back to [my]2959-i instructions . Okay , so it says here that this pole goes into this . . . “ Ahh , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson cries as [he]186-jameson slaps [his]186-jameson arm . “ [I]2959-i ’m getting fucking malaria over here , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . “ Stop being [a baby]3123-a baby . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i put the pole into [the correct place]1612-the correct place . “ Can [you]186-jameson grab the corner and stretch it out , please ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson swings [his]186-jameson arms around and goes and gets the corner of [the tent]1593-the tent and stretches it out . The sun is just setting . “ Step back a little farther , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say . [He]186-jameson slaps [his]186-jameson legs . “ Fuck off , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers as [he]186-jameson swings [his]186-jameson arms around , trying to swat whatever it is [he]186-jameson ’s swatting . “ Step back farther . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson walks backward and trips over a rock and falls into a bush . “ Ah , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson cries . “ Oh . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i burst out laughing and run to help [him]186-jameson up . “ What kind of fucking lunatic does this for fun ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson splutters as [he]186-jameson climbs out of the bush . “ [We]3124-we do . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i laugh . “ This is n’t fun , [Emily]186-jameson , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson huffs as [he]186-jameson brushes the dirt off [him]186-jameson . “ This is a living hell in a hydroponic mutated - bug breeding zone . ”[186-jameson] Something bites [him]186-jameson again , and [he]186-jameson slaps [his]186-jameson neck . “ Fuck off , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers to the bug . “ For [God]0-aaron ’s sake , get the bug spray , [princess]186-jameson . It ’s in the bag of supplies in [the truck]1585-the truck . ”[186-jameson] “ [We]3124-we have bug spray ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson looks at [me]2959-i deadpan . “ Now [you]2959-i fucking tell [me]186-jameson , after [I]186-jameson ’ve lost four pints of blood already . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson storms to [the truck]1585-the truck , and [I]2959-i hear the spray can go . . . and go . . . and go . . . and go . “ Are [you]2959-i saving any for [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i call . “ This is [man]2430-tristan versus wild , and [every man]3126-every man is for [himself]3126-every man . Do n’t [you]2959-i watch [Survivor]208-survivor ? [I]186-jameson ’m voting [you]2959-i off [the island]3127-the island tonight , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson calls before launching into a coughing attack and waving the air in front of [him]186-jameson . “ What the hell is in this stuff , anyway ? ”[186-jameson] “ Poison . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i widen [my]2959-i eyes . “ To kill the bugs . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson storms back over . “ Hurry up with [the tent]1593-the tent , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson demands . “ What ’s taking so long ? ”[186-jameson] “ [You]2959-i put it up if [you]2959-i ’re so perfect , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ Fine . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson snatches the directions from [me]2959-i and stares at [them]1615-them for a moment as [his]186-jameson eyes flick to [the outstretched tent]1593-the tent . [He]186-jameson turns the paper around and twists [his]186-jameson head . “ Well , this all makes perfect sense now . ”[186-jameson] “ It does ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ [I]2959-i could n’t work it out at all . ”[2959-i] “ This is n’t directions to put up [a tent]1593-the tent — this is a map for an escape from [Alcatraz]34-alcatraz . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i burst out laughing . “ What ’s funny ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson barks . “ Nothing about this situation is funny , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson turns the page and then turns it again and then again . [We]1617-we both frown as [we]1617-we stare at it . “ Okay , [I]1617-we see now . ”[1617-we] “ [You]1617-we do ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask hopefully . “ No . [I]2959-i do n’t . [We]1617-we find [a hotel]2332-a hotel . ”[2959-i] “ [Jameson]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i plead . “ [I]186-jameson wanted to do something with [you]186-jameson that [you]186-jameson ’ve never done with [an ex - girlfriend]3129-an ex - girlfriend . [I]186-jameson just wanted [us]1617-we to do this first together . Will [you]186-jameson just humor [me]186-jameson , please ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson exhales heavily . [I]2959-i take [his]186-jameson hands in [mine]2959-i . “ [I]2959-i know this is n’t what [you]186-jameson ’re used to , but [I]2959-i wanted to take [you]186-jameson out of [[your]186-jameson comfort zone]3130-your comfort zone . [I]2959-i really want to do this — it ’s important to [me]2959-i . This is how uncomfortable [I]2959-i feel in [[your]186-jameson fancy apartment]2751-your fancy apartment . ”[2959-i] “ Not possible . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson eyes hold [mine]2959-i , and then [he]186-jameson exhales in defeat . “ Fine . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson begins to study the directions again ; the light is fading , and [he]186-jameson ’s squinting to see . [I]2959-i go to the supply box and take out the two headlights and put one on [his]186-jameson head and then [my]2959-i own . [I]2959-i switch them on . [He]186-jameson looks up at [me]2959-i deadpan . [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i hand over [my]2959-i mouth as [I]2959-i get the giggles , and [he]186-jameson continues reading the directions . “ Okay , it says the poles are in a separate bag , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson says . “ Got [them]3132-them . ”[186-jameson] “ And [we]3133-we need to peg out the corners . ”[186-jameson] “ Already done it . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i rub [my]2959-i hand down [his]186-jameson back and onto [his]186-jameson behind . [He]186-jameson swats [me]2959-i away . “ [We]3133-we need to put the poles in the end and hoist [them]3132-them up . ”[186-jameson] “ Okay . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i lean up to kiss [him]186-jameson . “ [Emily]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson looks at [me]2959-i , and the flashlight strapped to [his]186-jameson forehead shines in [my]2959-i eyes . “ [I]2959-i smell like a toxic dumping ground of bug poison , and [I]2959-i have never felt so unsexy in [my]2959-i entire life . [I]2959-i would n’t be surprised if [my]2959-i dick has been poisoned off like a weed . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i burst out laughing . “ [You]186-jameson could never be unsexy to [me]186-jameson , and [your]186-jameson dick is more of a tree than a weed . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson raises [his]186-jameson eyebrow , unimpressed . [I]2959-i get the uncontrollable giggles . [He]186-jameson really does look ridiculous . [I]2959-i want to take a photo for [Alan]246-alan , but [I]2959-i know [he]186-jameson would go postal . [He]186-jameson ’s teetering on the edge here . “ Okay , let ’s just get in and do it , and then [we]3134-you can pump up the bed . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i smile . [His]186-jameson face falls . “ [We]3134-you have to pump up a bed ? ”[186-jameson] “ No . [You]3134-you have to blow it up with [your]3134-you mouth , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i tease . [He]186-jameson throws the directions in the air . “ That ’s it — [I’m]186-jameson out . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i burst out laughing . “ No , [you]3134-you do n’t . [I]186-jameson ’m only teasing . [We]3134-you have a pump . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson puts [his]186-jameson hand on [his]186-jameson hips and stares at [me]2959-i for a moment . “ [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile softly . “ This weekend is symbolic in [our]3134-you relationship . [You]3134-you ’re expecting [me]186-jameson to give up everything [I]186-jameson know to live in a world that ’s completely foreign to [me]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson stares at [me]2959-i . “ [I]2959-i ’m just asking [you]3134-you for three days . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i bounce on the spot . “ Please . Can [you]3134-you just do this . . . for [me]186-jameson ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson pinches the bridge of [his]186-jameson nose , and [I]2959-i know [I]2959-i ’ve nearly got [him]186-jameson . [I]2959-i lean up and kiss [his]186-jameson big lips . “ [I]2959-i ’ll make it up to [you]3134-you . [I]2959-i promise . ”[2959-i] “ Fine , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson snaps as [he]186-jameson bends and picks the directions up and begins to reread [them]1618-them . “ Get [me]186-jameson the longest pole . ”[186-jameson] Two hours later , [the tent]1593-the tent is finally up . The bed is ready , and [I]2959-i put out two fold - up chairs . “ Come sit with [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i open a bottle of red wine . [He]186-jameson sits down beside [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i pass [him]186-jameson [his]186-jameson glass . [I]2959-i brought two wineglasses . [I]2959-i knew if [I]2959-i tried to make [him]186-jameson drink out of a plastic cup , it would have been all over . [He]186-jameson sits in [his]186-jameson cheap fold - up chair and takes [his]186-jameson glass from [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i smile and raise [mine]2959-i to [him]186-jameson . “ To a successful escape from [Alcatraz]34-alcatraz . ”[2959-i] [He]186-jameson smirks and takes a sip and looks around at the darkness . “ Okay , so what do [we]3135-we do now ? ”[186-jameson] “ This is it . ”[2959-i] “ This is it ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson frowns . “ Yeah . . . [you]186-jameson just sit here . ”[2959-i] “ And do what ? ”[186-jameson] “ Relax . ”[2959-i] “ Oh . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson looks around at [the dark forest]1592-the forest and sips [his]186-jameson wine , and [I]2959-i bite [my]2959-i bottom lip to stop [myself]2959-i from laughing . It ’s completely dark now , and [the forest]1592-the forest is beginning to come alive with animals . Echoes can be heard in the distance . [He]186-jameson ’s in complete freak - out mode inside and holding it in . [He]186-jameson tips [his]186-jameson head back and drains [his]186-jameson glass and holds it out for an immediate refill . “ What are [you]186-jameson doing ? ”[186-jameson] “ [I]186-jameson ’m getting plastered so [I]186-jameson do n’t remember getting eaten by a bear . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson shakes [his]186-jameson head . “ It ’s the only way . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i laugh . “ This is completely safe , [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson widens [his]186-jameson eyes . “ That ’s what [Daniel]117-danny rupert said right before [he]186-jameson went missing . ”[186-jameson] “ Who ’s [Daniel]117-danny rupert ? ”[186-jameson] “ [Blair Witch Daniel]209-blair witch daniel . . . ever watched it ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson mutters dryly as [he]186-jameson looks around . “ No . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk . “ Probably best [you]209-blair witch daniel do n’t . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson looks around at [the forest]1592-the forest . “ Hauntingly familiar . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i laugh as [I]2959-i get up . “ [I]2959-i ’m going to [the bathroom]300-the bathroom . ”[2959-i] “ What ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson stands in a rush . “ Where ’s that ? ”[186-jameson] “ Up [the trail]1590-the hill . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson face falls . “ [You]209-blair witch daniel ca n’t walk up there alone . It ’s dangerous . ”[186-jameson] “ No . [I]186-jameson ’m not . [You]209-blair witch daniel ’re coming with [me]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] “ What ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson frowns . “ Come on , [Jay]108-jay . ”[186-jameson] “ No , [we]3138-we are not leaving [the campsite]3139-the campsite . [I]2959-i do n’t want to be walking around . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i look down at [the lake]1622-the lake . The moonlight is dancing across [the water]1079-the water . “ All right . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stand and take [my]2959-i shirt off and then slide [my]2959-i panties down . “ What are [you]209-blair witch daniel doing ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]186-jameson ’m going skinny - dipping . ”[186-jameson] “ What ? ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson eyes flick to the black water . “ No . . . no [you]209-blair witch daniel ’re not . [I]186-jameson forbid it . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i take off [my]2959-i bra and throw it over [his]186-jameson head , and [he]186-jameson snatches it away . “ [Emily]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i kick [my]2959-i panties off . “ Have [you]209-blair witch daniel gone completely fucking crazy ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers . “ Maybe . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson looks around . “ [Anybody]457-anybody could be watching . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i smile and run to [the water]1079-the water ’s edge . “ [You]209-blair witch daniel coming in , chicken ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i wade thigh high into the water . “ Are [you]209-blair witch daniel fucking insane ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson cries from [the water]1079-the water ’s edge . [I]2959-i splash water [his]186-jameson way . “ Get in , yellowbelly . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson runs [his]186-jameson hands through [his]186-jameson hair in a complete panic . “ [Emily]186-jameson , this is not safe . ”[186-jameson] “ This is a lot safer than [New York]385-new york , [Jay]108-jay . Come on . . . live a little . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson looks left , and then [he]186-jameson looks right as [he]186-jameson clenches [his]186-jameson hands at [his]186-jameson sides . “ [Jay]108-jay , come on , [baby]108-jay . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i lower [myself]2959-i into the water . “ [I]186-jameson ’ll protect [you]108-jay . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson closes [his]186-jameson eyes . [He]186-jameson wants to come in — [I]2959-i know [he]186-jameson does . “ Come on . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i laugh as [I]2959-i swim . “ The water is beautiful . ”[2959-i] With a shake of [his]186-jameson head , [he]186-jameson takes [his]186-jameson shirt off and throws it to the side . [I]2959-i laugh as [I]2959-i float on [my]2959-i back . [He]186-jameson begins to wade into the water . “ Take [your]186-jameson shorts off . ”[186-jameson] “ No way in hell am [I]186-jameson offering [my]186-jameson dick as live bait for a fucking eel , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson barks . [He]186-jameson wades to [me]2959-i and takes [me]2959-i into [his]186-jameson arms . The water is cold and fresh , and [I]2959-i wrap [my]2959-i arms around [his]186-jameson neck . The moonlight is beaming off the water , and [he]186-jameson smiles as [he]186-jameson kisses [me]2959-i gently . “ [You]186-jameson ’re crazy , [Emily Foster]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] “ And [I]2959-i love [you]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile up at [him]186-jameson . This does feel crazy . . . crazy good . “ [You]186-jameson better . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson lips dust [mine]2959-i . [I]2959-i wrap [my]2959-i legs around [his]186-jameson waist as [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i arousal wake from its slumber . [Our]1625-we kiss turns passionate . “ [I]2959-i think [we]1625-we need to christen [the lake]1622-the lake , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper up at [him]186-jameson . “ [You]186-jameson ’re a complete sex maniac . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i kiss [him]186-jameson and pull [his]186-jameson shorts down a little . “ [We]1625-we ’ve already established this . Now fuck [me]186-jameson , [Lake Boy]210-lake boy , before [your]186-jameson wiener gets eaten , and [I]186-jameson do n’t mean by [me]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smirks against [my]2959-i lips as [he]186-jameson grabs [my]2959-i behind . “ Shut up . [You]186-jameson ’re wrecking it . ”[186-jameson] Drop . Drop . Drop , drop . From [my]2959-i deep slumber , [I]2959-i hear rain as it sprinkles onto [the tent]1593-the tent . Drop , drop , drop . It gets heavier . “ Do n’t fucking tell [me]186-jameson , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson whispers from beside [me]2959-i . Crash sounds the thunder , and [we]1627-we both jump in fright as [the forest]1592-the forest flashes white . “ [You]186-jameson ca n’t be serious , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson mutters into the darkness . [My]2959-i back is to [Jay]108-jay , and [I]2959-i bite [my]2959-i lip to try to stop [myself]2959-i from laughing . [He]186-jameson had a complete meltdown when [we]1627-we got into bed over the sound of the animals in [the forest]1592-the forest keeping [him]186-jameson awake — in fact , [he]186-jameson ’s had about ten meltdowns . This will be the icing on the cake . The rain really begins to come down , and thunder begins to crack repeatedly . “ Well , this is just fucking great , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson huffs . [I]2959-i smile and roll over to face [him]186-jameson . “ It ’s fine . Tents are waterproof . Just go back to sleep . ”[2959-i] [The tent]1593-the tent continually lights up an iridescent white as lightning flashes through the sky . [He]186-jameson sits up and feels around [the tent]1593-the tent in the dark . [He]186-jameson ’s foraging for a long time on [his]186-jameson hands and knees . “ What are [you]3142-you doing ? ”[186-jameson] “ Looking for a fucking light ! ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i laugh out loud . “ How do [you]3142-you find this funny ? Not one fucking thing about this is funny , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson finally finds the light and puts it on [his]186-jameson head and switches it on and looks at [me]2959-i . [His]186-jameson hair is all mussed and sticking up everywhere , and [his]186-jameson eyes are wide and crazy . Unable to help it , [I]2959-i get an uncontrollable fit of the giggles . “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ If [you]3142-you could . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i have to stop talking because [I]2959-i ’m laughing so much . “ If [you]3142-you could just see [yourself]3142-you . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smirks , and then a crash of lightning hits so close it sounds like it hit a tree right next to [us]1630-we . “ [We]1630-we ’re going to fucking die tonight , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson stammers in a panic . The rain hammers down , and [I]2959-i unzip [the tent]1593-the tent . [We]1630-we both peer out into the apocalyptic storm . It ’s really pouring down , and [I]2959-i zip [the tent]1593-the tent back up . “ It ’s fine . [The tent]1593-the tent is waterproof , and [we]1630-we ’ll just have to try to sleep through it . ”[2959-i] “ Have [you]3142-you lost [your]3142-you fucking mind ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson snaps . “ Who could sleep through this ? ”[186-jameson] “ [Me]2959-i — [I]2959-i could . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i lie back down and pull the sleeping bag blanket over [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i smile when [I]2959-i remember [Jameson]186-jameson ’s earlier meltdown that [he]186-jameson could n’t touch [me]2959-i in [my]2959-i sleeping bag . In an hour - long operation , [he]186-jameson unzipped both of [our]1630-we bags and put one underneath [us]1630-we and one over the top of [us]1630-we so that [we]1630-we could cuddle while [we]1630-we sleep . [He]186-jameson ’s super cute . [The tent]1593-the tent begins to sway side to side as the windstorm picks up . “ Holy fucking . . . here [we]1630-we go , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson mutters as [he]186-jameson looks at the ceiling of [the tent]1593-the tent . One end of [the tent]1593-the tent lifts up in the wind , and [he]186-jameson pounces over and holds [the tent]1593-the tent to the ground . [I]2959-i burst out laughing again . “ Not helping , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson cries . [I]2959-i jump up in [my]2959-i fits of giggles and grab [his]186-jameson jacket and begin to put it on . “ What are [you]3143-you doing ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson frowns . “ [I]186-jameson have to hammer the tent pegs back in . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i headlamp on [my]2959-i head . [His]186-jameson mouth drops open in horror . “ What ? ”[186-jameson] “ It ’s the only way [the tent]1593-the tent will stay up . ”[186-jameson] “ [You]3143-you ’re not going out there . It ’s dangerous , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers angrily . “ [Somebody]182-somebody has to do it . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pick up the hammer . [He]186-jameson snatches the hammer from [me]2959-i . “ This will fucking do [me]186-jameson in . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i laugh . “ Goodbye , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson unzips [the tent]1593-the tent . “ It was nice knowing [you]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson disappears out into the storm . “ This is why [you]186-jameson ’re [the CEO]2388-the ceo . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i giggle as [I]2959-i hear the metallic bangs as [he]186-jameson hammers the tent pegs back in . The rain really begins to pour down , and the wind is ferocious . Honestly , what are the chances ? Damn [you]1634-you , weather . [I]2959-i unzip [the tent]1593-the tent and peer out into the pouring rain . [He]186-jameson ’s struggling to stay on [his]186-jameson feet from the wind as [he]186-jameson bends down and hammers tent pegs into the ground , headlamp still firmly in place . [He]186-jameson ’s muddy and sopping wet . [I]2959-i get the uncontrollable giggles once more , and unable to help it , [I]2959-i grab [my]2959-i phone and take some photos of [him]186-jameson . Surely one day [he]186-jameson ’ll find this funny . After ten minutes , [he]186-jameson comes back in . [He]186-jameson ’s panting , wet , and covered in mud from the splashing of the rain . [I]2959-i grab a towel and begin to dry [his]186-jameson hair . [I]2959-i peel [his]186-jameson shirt off [him]186-jameson and slide down [his]186-jameson track pants . “ Just get dry . It ’s going to stop soon , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say to try to calm [him]186-jameson . The sound of the rain is deafening above [us]1635-we , and [he]186-jameson dries [himself]186-jameson . [I]2959-i shuffle through [his]186-jameson bag and find [him]186-jameson some dry clothes , and [the tent]1593-the tent begins to sway again as [he]186-jameson hops around half - wet , trying to get dressed . [The tent]1593-the tent lifts again . “ Get fucked , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson snaps . Oh [[my]2959-i God]2363-my god — this really is horrendous . [We]1635-we hear a loud rip in the roof , and [our]1635-we eyes widen . “ Oh no . . . [the tent]1593-the tent , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [We]1635-we ca n’t damage [the tent]1593-the tent — it ’s [Michael]60-michael ’s . ”[2959-i] “ [I]186-jameson ’ll buy [the poor prick a camper]3145-the poor prick a camper . This is fucking intolerable , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson splutters . Rip . [The tent]1593-the tent rips in half . “ Ah , ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i scream as [our]1635-we things go flying everywhere in the wind . [I]2959-i scurry to the ground as [I]2959-i try to throw everything into bags . [Some kind of sanity rubber band]1638-some kind of sanity rubber band breaks inside [him]186-jameson , and [he]186-jameson puts [his]186-jameson hands on [his]186-jameson hips , tips [his]186-jameson head back to the sky , and bursts out laughing . “ This is n’t funny . Get [our]1635-we bags to [the truck]1585-the truck , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i cry . [He]186-jameson laughs . . . and laughs . . . and laughs . [I]2959-i scramble to keep [our]1635-we phones dry and run to [the truck]1585-the truck with [our]1635-we bags . “ [Jameson]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i yell . “ Do something . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson turns to [me]2959-i and takes [me]2959-i in [his]186-jameson arms in the pouring rain and kisses [me]2959-i . [Our]1635-we headlamps hit together , and [I]2959-i laugh too . “ This is ridiculous , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Hotel ? ”[2959-i] “ Please . ”[2959-i] “ Hello . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile at [the receptionist of [the tourist center]1641-the tourist center]1640-the receptionist of the tourist center . “ Have [you]3146-you got any B and Bs available for two nights , please ? ”[2959-i] [The woman behind the desk]1642-the woman behind the desk types away . [We]1635-we stayed in [a hideous hotel]1643-a hideous hotel last night , and [Jameson]186-jameson refuses to stay there again . [He]186-jameson said [we]1635-we can only stay the full weekend if [I]2959-i find somewhere half - decent for the next two nights . [He]186-jameson ’s chasing coffee outside for [us]1635-we . The rain is gone , and at some stage [we]1635-we have to go back and pick up the camping stuff from the Armageddon storm last night . [We]1635-we just got [our]1635-we things and left . There was nothing [we]1635-we could do in the middle of the night in those conditions anyway . “ [I]1642-the woman behind the desk only have [a farmhouse]270-the house . ”[1642-the woman behind the desk] [She]1642-the woman behind the desk types and then reads . “ [Arndell]211-arndell is [the property]270-the house . ”[1642-the woman behind the desk] [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i listen . “ It ’s available for two nights , and [you]3148-you can have that at a discounted rate if [you]3148-you want . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . [I]2959-i love that [she]1642-the woman behind the desk thinks [we]1635-we need a discount . “ Okay , that sounds good . Thank [you]3148-you . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i slide over [Jameson]186-jameson ’s credit card , and [she]1642-the woman behind the desk does the paperwork . “ Here are the keys . ”[1642-the woman behind the desk] [She]1642-the woman behind the desk hands [me]2959-i a map . “ Go down to [Falls Road]35-falls road , and then [the property]270-the house has [[its]270-the house own road]35-falls road in on the right . ”[1642-the woman behind the desk] “ Oh , how big is it ? ”[1642-the woman behind the desk] “ [The house]270-the house is on [three hundred acres]3149-three hundred acres . [The land]270-the house is gorgeous . [The house]270-the house is a little tired , but the location is stunning . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ Cool , okay . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i bounce out to [the pickup]1572-the pickup to see [[my]2959-i poor disheveled man]1645-my poor disheveled man . [He]1645-my poor disheveled man looks like [he]1645-my poor disheveled man ’s been to hell and back , and funnily enough , [I]2959-i think it ’s the most relaxed [I]2959-i ’ve ever seen [him]1645-my poor disheveled man . It ’s as if that sanity rubber band that broke in [him]1645-my poor disheveled man last night released some of [his]1645-my poor disheveled man tension . “ Okay , [we]3150-we got [a farmhouse]3147-the property . ”[1645-my poor disheveled man] [He]1645-my poor disheveled man reaches over and puts [his]1645-my poor disheveled man hand on [my]2959-i thigh and hands [me]2959-i [my]2959-i coffee . [He]1645-my poor disheveled man shifts the gears on the steering wheel and pulls out . [I]2959-i smile out the window as [I]2959-i ride in [the bumpy truck]1646-the bumpy truck . “ Do [you]3152-you know [we]1648-we have n’t passed [a car]1349-a car ? ”[1645-my poor disheveled man] [he]1645-my poor disheveled man says as [he]1645-my poor disheveled man keeps [his]1645-my poor disheveled man eyes on [the road]533-the road . “ It ’s nice , is n’t it ? ”[1645-my poor disheveled man] [He]1645-my poor disheveled man shrugs . “ Different . ”[1645-my poor disheveled man] [We]1648-we follow the directions , and ten minutes later [we]1648-we get to a big stone entryway with the sign . [ARNDELL]211-arndell “ This is it . ”[211-arndell] [We]1648-we turn up [the driveway]1586-the driveway , and [I]2959-i smile . [The road]533-the road is lined with huge trees that create a canopy . [Rolling green hills]1650-rolling green hills are as far as [you]1651-you can see . “ Oh , look at [this place]3147-the property . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile in wonder . “ [She]3154-she said [the land]3147-the property was beautiful . ”[2959-i] For five minutes , [we]1648-we drive through until [we]1648-we get to the top of [a hill]1652-a hill and find [a big old house]3147-the property . It ’s white with a sweeping veranda around the edge . The roof is made of shingles , and it must be a hundred years old . [Jameson]186-jameson ’s eyes find [me]2959-i . “ Do n’t say anything . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i smirk . [He]186-jameson holds [his]186-jameson hands up in the air as if crying defeat . [We]1648-we climb out and open the front door and peer in . [I]2959-i smile broadly . Wide - timber floors , a huge fireplace , and great big windows with views out over [the property]3147-the property . [You]1655-you can see for miles from up here . The furniture is dated , but that does n’t matter to [us]1648-we . [I]2959-i take [Jay]108-jay ’s hand as [we]1648-we walk through and look around . A large living area , [a formal dining room]1656-a formal dining room , [a big kitchen]1657-a big kitchen , [a bathroom]3119-a bathroom , and [a bedroom]1659-a bedroom are [downstairs]2454-downstairs . There ’s [an old timber staircase]1661-an old timber staircase , and [we]1648-we go up to find [five bedrooms]1662-five bedrooms and [another bathroom]1663-another bathroom . [I]2959-i turn to [Jameson]186-jameson and wrap [my]2959-i arms around [his]186-jameson neck . “ Is this better , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smiles as [he]186-jameson bends to kiss [me]2959-i . “ This will do . ”[186-jameson] [We]1648-we lie on a blanket in the grass , and the sun is warm on [our]1648-we faces . It ’s Sunday afternoon , and [we]1648-we are in a sleepy haze . Last night was heaven . [We]1648-we lit the fire , and [Jay]108-jay humored [me]2959-i and helped [me]2959-i carry the mattress out so that [we]1648-we could sleep next to it . Today [we]1648-we have explored [the property]3147-the property and went into [town]2456-town to grab some groceries in [[our]1648-we light - blue pickup truck]1666-our light - blue pickup truck . [Jameson]186-jameson is relaxed for the first time since [we]1648-we met . [I]2959-i ’m happy . . . so happy . [I]2959-i roll to face [him]186-jameson . “ Tell [me]2959-i about [your]2959-i relationship with [Claudia]57-claudia . ”[2959-i] [He]186-jameson frowns and rolls to [his]186-jameson side toward [me]2959-i . “ What do [you]2959-i want to know ? ”[186-jameson] “ Everything . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson reaches up and brushes [his]186-jameson finger over [my]2959-i bottom lip . “ It was n’t like what [we]1648-we have . ”[186-jameson] “ How so ? ”[186-jameson] “ Well , [we]1648-we were [friends]394-friends for a long time . There was never this instant attraction or . . . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson voice trails off . “ No , go on , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i urge . “ [I]2959-i want to know . ”[2959-i] “ [She]57-claudia did some stories for [us]1648-we , and [we]1648-we got to know each other . Then . . . over time [we]1648-we built a friendship . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i watch [him]186-jameson . “ [I]186-jameson thought . . . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson hesitates and plays with the blanket underneath [him]186-jameson as [he]186-jameson thinks for a moment . “ [You]186-jameson thought what ? ”[186-jameson] “ [I]186-jameson thought [she]57-claudia was the love of [my]186-jameson life . [She]57-claudia was like [me]186-jameson . Driven . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson shrugs . “ [She]57-claudia got [me]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [My]2959-i stomach twists in jealousy . “ [We]3156-we were together for three years . Engaged . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ [You]186-jameson were engaged ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i did n’t know this . It was on [her]1667-she bio but not [his]186-jameson , and [I]2959-i was hoping it was wrong . “ Yes . ”[186-jameson] [My]2959-i eyes hold [his]186-jameson . “ What happened ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson exhales heavily . “ [She]1667-she was offered the job as editor in chief for British Vogue . It was a huge thing , and [she]1667-she had worked so hard to get it . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i watch [him]186-jameson as [he]186-jameson speaks . “ [She]1667-she moved and . . . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson voice trails off . “ What ? ”[186-jameson] “ [We]3157-we tried the long - distance thing , and [I]2959-i struggled with no sex . It ’s not who [I]2959-i am . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ So [we]3157-we made a pact that [we]3157-we would be with [other people]2290-other people but try again in a few years . [We]3157-we had a five - year plan of getting back together . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i heart sinks . [He]186-jameson still loves [her]76-woman . “ But then a year ago [I]2959-i met [this girl]76-woman on [a plane]2325-a plane . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk . “ And [she]76-woman was everything that [I]2959-i was n’t looking for . ”[2959-i] [Our]1669-our eyes are locked , and the air crackles between [us]1669-our . “ But [I]186-jameson could n’t pursue [her]76-woman because of [my]186-jameson promise to [Claudia]57-claudia . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson takes [my]2959-i face in [his]186-jameson hand , and [his]186-jameson thumb dusts back and forth over [my]2959-i bottom lip . “ [I]186-jameson wanted to . [I]186-jameson desperately wanted to . [I]186-jameson felt a physical connection with [her]76-woman from the word go . [I]186-jameson was hard the entire plane trip , and [our]1669-our night together was insane . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smiles softly . “ There was something about [her]76-woman that [I]186-jameson could n’t forget . [She]76-woman lingered in the back of [my]186-jameson mind . [I]186-jameson compared all sex and [women]276-women with [her]76-woman since then . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson pauses as [he]186-jameson tries to articulate [his]186-jameson thoughts . “ [They]3161-they always fell short . . . even [Claudia]57-claudia . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as hope blooms in [my]2959-i chest . “ Recently [I]2959-i ’d been thinking about [her]76-woman a lot , and [I]2959-i had even contacted [the airline]3162-the airline and found out [her]76-woman name . ”[2959-i] “ [You]76-woman had ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . This is news . [He]186-jameson nods . “ [I]186-jameson got a photocopy of [your]76-woman passport emailed to [me]186-jameson just six weeks before [you]76-woman started working for [us]3163-us . [I]186-jameson ’d planned on contacting [you]76-woman , but with everything going on at work , [I]186-jameson had n’t got around to it yet . [I]186-jameson had no idea that [you]76-woman were coming to work for [Miles Media]14-miles media . ”[186-jameson] “ That explains it , then . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk . “ Explains what ? ”[2959-i] “ Why [you]76-woman never called . [I]186-jameson look like [a prisoner in that photo]3164-a prisoner in that photo . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson chuckles . “ This is true . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson leans in and kisses [me]2959-i softly . “ Tell [me]186-jameson about [your]76-woman past loves . ”[186-jameson] [My]2959-i eyes search [his]186-jameson . “ [I]186-jameson ca n’t . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson frowns . “ Since [I]186-jameson met [you]76-woman , [I]186-jameson ’ve realized that [I]186-jameson ’ve never been in love before . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smiles softly . “ What about [the guy with [Backseat Barbie]66-backseat barbie]3165-the guy with backseat barbie ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i giggle . “ [You]76-woman remember [him]3165-the guy with backseat barbie ? ”[2959-i] “ Yes . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smirks as [he]186-jameson pulls [me]2959-i over [his]186-jameson body and holds [me]2959-i tight . “ What [I]186-jameson felt for them , [Jay]108-jay , and what [I]186-jameson feel for [you]108-jay is incomparable . ”[186-jameson] [We]1670-we lie in silence for a while and stare up at the trees as [they]1670-we sway over [us]1670-we . “ [I]2959-i love [you]108-jay , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [He]186-jameson kisses [my]2959-i temple . “ Good , because [I]186-jameson do n’t camp in hell for just [anyone]272-anyone . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i giggle as [I]2959-i hug [him]186-jameson . [This man]186-jameson kills [me]2959-i . [Jameson]186-jameson [We]1670-we stare at the fire as it flickers . It sporadically cracks as the wood burns . [Emily]186-jameson is in front of [me]2959-i on [our]1670-we makeshift bed on the floor . [We]1670-we ’ve just made love and are in a sleepy , relaxed state . Home tomorrow . To be honest , [I]2959-i could stay [here]385-new york with [her]186-jameson forever . [She]186-jameson makes anywhere [home]2289-home . [Emily]186-jameson smiles up at [me]2959-i . [Her]186-jameson long dark hair is splayed across the pillow , and [her]186-jameson big eyes offer [me]2959-i a deep comfort . [My]2959-i hand slides down over [her]186-jameson full breast and lower over [her]186-jameson stomach . [I]2959-i turn [her]186-jameson head and take [her]186-jameson lips with [mine]2959-i . [Our]1670-we tongues dance in a slow erotic dance . [I]2959-i ’m so in love with [this woman]186-jameson . When [we]1673-we ’re alone , nothing else matters . “ Thank [you]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [Her]186-jameson eyes search [mine]2959-i . “ For what ? ”[186-jameson] “ For finding [me]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [She]186-jameson rolls toward [me]2959-i and takes [my]2959-i face in [her]186-jameson hands . “ [We]1673-we were always going to find each other , ”[186-jameson] [she]186-jameson whispers . “ [Soul mates]3167-soul mates do that . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk as [I]2959-i tuck a piece of [her]186-jameson hair behind [her]186-jameson ear . “ [You]186-jameson do n’t really buy into [that soul mate]3167-soul mates mumbo jumbo thing , do [you]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]186-jameson did n’t . ”[186-jameson] [She]186-jameson kisses [me]2959-i softly . “ Until [I]186-jameson met [you]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [We]1674-we stare at each other in the flickering light , and if [I]2959-i could bottle this moment , [I]2959-i would . Never have [I]2959-i had something so raw and pure in [my]2959-i life . [Her]186-jameson love is a light . . . [my]2959-i light . “ [Jay]108-jay , ”[186-jameson] [she]186-jameson murmurs as [she]186-jameson runs [her]186-jameson fingers through [my]2959-i stubble . [Her]186-jameson eyes search [mine]2959-i . “ Yeah , [baby]108-jay ? ”[186-jameson] “ Can [we]3168-we come back here next weekend ? ”[186-jameson] [she]186-jameson asks hopefully . “ Really ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [She]186-jameson nods with a soft smile . “ [I]186-jameson love [this old house]3169-this old house . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i smirk . If the truth be known , [I]2959-i ’m kind of keen on it [myself]2959-i . “ Maybe . ”[186-jameson] [She]186-jameson snuggles against [my]2959-i chest . [I]2959-i feel [her]186-jameson relax in [my]2959-i arms , and after a while , the gentle pattern of [her]186-jameson breathing notifies [me]2959-i that [she]186-jameson ’s drifted off to sleep . [I]2959-i inhale deeply into [her]186-jameson hair and smile as [I]2959-i watch the fire . This is it . [I]2959-i can stop searching . [I]2959-i ’ve found [her]186-jameson . Chapter 20 Jameson [I]2959-i walk into [the apartment]2627-the apartment right at seven to the delectable aroma of gourmet food cooking . [I]2959-i smile , drop [my]2959-i laptop bag , and make [my]2959-i way to [the kitchen]683-the kitchen to find [Emily]186-jameson dancing with [her]186-jameson back to [me]2959-i as [she]186-jameson cooks . [I]2959-i stand at the doorway and watch [her]186-jameson for a moment . [She]186-jameson ’s wearing a black skirt and a white shirt , [her]186-jameson long dark hair is in a ponytail , and [her]186-jameson naturally beautiful face is glowing . A warm feeling of comfort runs through [me]2959-i at [her]186-jameson obvious happiness . All is right in [my]2959-i world when [she]186-jameson ’s here . This is the weirdest thing [I]2959-i ’ve ever experienced . [I]2959-i do n’t want to be anywhere but here with [her]186-jameson . From three o’clock every afternoon [I]2959-i start to watch the clock , waiting for the time [I]2959-i get to come [home]2289-home . [I]2959-i watch as [she]186-jameson picks up [her]186-jameson wineglass and sips it ; [her]186-jameson burgundy lipstick marks the glass in a perfect lip shape , and [I]2959-i smile — even [her]186-jameson lipstick on the glass does things to [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i would never want to wash it again ; [I]2959-i ’m like [a starstruck schoolboy]1678-a starstruck schoolboy . [Her]186-jameson behind moves sexily to the beat , and [I]2959-i watch [her]186-jameson , transfixed by [the beautiful woman in [[my]2959-i kitchen]1679-my kitchen]186-jameson . [She]186-jameson turns and catches sight of [me]2959-i and smiles sexily . “ Hello . ”[186-jameson] [She]186-jameson comes to [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i wrap [her]186-jameson in [my]2959-i arms . “ How ’s [[my]186-jameson man]186-jameson ? ”[186-jameson] [she]186-jameson asks as [she]186-jameson kisses [me]2959-i softly . “ Good now that [I]186-jameson ’m [home]2289-home . ”[186-jameson] [Our]1680-we lips touch again and again , and [I]2959-i sit [her]186-jameson up on the counter and stand between [her]186-jameson legs as [we]1680-we kiss . “ Are [we]1680-we having an entrée before [our]1680-we meal , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles ? ”[186-jameson] [she]186-jameson breathes against [my]2959-i lips . [I]2959-i unzip [my]2959-i fly . “ Looks like it . ”[2959-i] It ’s Thursday and crazy around here . [We]1680-we are preparing reports for [our]1680-we board meetings tomorrow . It feels good to be back at it without the added pressure of all the other shit that ’s been going on around here . [Tristan]2430-tristan and [I]2959-i are at [my]2959-i desk , discussing the new advertising budget [we]1680-we have set , when there ’s a knock on [my]2959-i door . “ Come in , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i call . The door opens , and a familiar face comes into view . [My]2959-i face falls , and [I]2959-i stand immediately . “ [Claudia]57-claudia . ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan ’s eyes widen , and [he]2430-tristan looks to [me]2959-i as [he]2430-tristan stands . “ Hi , [Claud]189-claud . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan rushes to [her]1681-her and kisses [her]1681-her on the cheek . “ How are [you]189-claud ? ”[2430-tristan] [he]2430-tristan asks . [She]1681-her forces a smile . “ Good , thank [you]189-claud . . . and [you]189-claud ? ”[1681-her] “ Great . ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan ’s eyes meet [mine]2959-i across [the room]514-the room . “ [I]2430-tristan have some things to do . See [you]189-claud later , [Claud]189-claud . ”[2430-tristan] “ Goodbye . ”[1681-her] [Her]1681-her smile fades , and [her]1681-her nervous eyes come to [me]2959-i . “ Hello , [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[1681-her] “ Hello . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i walk around and kiss [her]1681-her on the cheek ; [her]1681-her familiar perfume permeates around [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i frown at the memories it evokes . “ How are [you]189-claud ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . [She]1681-her clutches [her]1681-her purse . “ [I]1681-her ’ve resigned from Vogue . [I]1681-her ’m coming [home]2289-home to [New York]385-new york . ”[1681-her] [I]2959-i stare at [her]1681-her , lost for words . “ [I]1681-her ’ve missed [you]189-claud too much , [Jameson]186-jameson . [I]1681-her ca n’t live without [you]189-claud , ”[1681-her] [she]1681-her whispers . [My]2959-i heart drops . “ [Claud]189-claud , no . . . ”[1681-her] [Her]1681-her eyes fill with tears . “ [You]189-claud said it was distance . ”[1681-her] Empathy fills [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i ca n’t stand seeing [her]1681-her upset , and [I]2959-i take [her]1681-her into [my]2959-i arms . “ It ’s not the distance anymore , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i murmur into [her]1681-her hair . The door opens , and [Emily]186-jameson bounces in . [Her]186-jameson face falls , and [she]186-jameson stops on the spot when [she]186-jameson sees [Claudia]57-claudia in [my]2959-i arms . “ Oh . . . [I]186-jameson ’m — ”[186-jameson] “ Come in , [Emily]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say . [Claudia]57-claudia pulls out of [my]2959-i arms , and [her]186-jameson crazy eyes go to [Emily]186-jameson . “ [Claudia]57-claudia , this is [Emily]186-jameson . . . [[my]2959-i girlfriend]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i introduce [them]1683-us . [Emily]186-jameson ’s eyes flick between [us]1683-us , and then [she]186-jameson holds out [her]186-jameson hand . “ Hello , [Claudia]57-claudia . Nice to meet [you]57-claudia . ”[186-jameson] [She]186-jameson smiles kindly . [Claudia]57-claudia shakes [her]186-jameson hand . “ Hello . ”[186-jameson] [She]186-jameson turns [her]186-jameson attention back to [me]2959-i . [Emily]186-jameson looks between [us]1683-us again . “ [I]186-jameson ’ll give [you]57-claudia some privacy . ”[186-jameson] “ Thank [you]57-claudia , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [my]2959-i eyes stay fixed firmly on [Claudia]57-claudia . [I]2959-i hate hurting [her]186-jameson . “ Goodbye , ”[186-jameson] [Emily]186-jameson says . “ Nice to meet [you]57-claudia . ”[186-jameson] [Claudia]57-claudia ’s eyes fill with tears anew as the door quietly clicks closed . “ Does [she]186-jameson even know who [I]186-jameson am ? ”[186-jameson] [she]186-jameson whispers . “ Yes . ”[186-jameson] “ And [she]186-jameson found [me]186-jameson in [your]57-claudia arms and is happy to leave [you]57-claudia here with [me]186-jameson ? ”[186-jameson] [she]186-jameson mutters sarcastically . [My]2959-i eyes hold [hers]186-jameson , annoyed that [she]186-jameson thinks [Emily]186-jameson has reason to be insecure . “ [She]186-jameson knows where [my]57-claudia heart lies . ”[57-claudia] [Claudia]57-claudia ’s eyes fill with tears , and [I]2959-i internally kick [myself]2959-i for being an ass . “ [I]2959-i ’m coming [home]2289-home to [New York]385-new york , [Jameson]186-jameson . [We]3173-we can get back together . ”[2959-i] “ No , [we]3173-we ca n’t . ”[57-claudia] [Her]57-claudia eyes search [mine]2959-i . “ [I]57-claudia ’m marrying [her]57-claudia , [Claud]189-claud . ”[57-claudia] “ Do n’t say that , ”[57-claudia] [she]57-claudia whispers . “ [She]57-claudia ’s just easy for [you]189-claud because [she]57-claudia ’s no challenge . ”[57-claudia] “ [You]189-claud ’re wrong ; [she]57-claudia ’s the love of [my]57-claudia life . ”[57-claudia] [She]57-claudia clenches [her]57-claudia jaw in anger . “ [[You]189-claud bastard]189-claud . ”[57-claudia] “ [I]2959-i ’m sorry . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i step back from [her]57-claudia . “ But there ’s no other way to put it . ”[57-claudia] [Her]57-claudia anger erupts . “ So . . . what happens when [I]57-claudia see [you]189-claud out ? ”[57-claudia] [she]57-claudia snaps . “ [You]189-claud say hello . ”[57-claudia] “ Do [you]189-claud think [you]189-claud can replace [me]57-claudia so easily ? ”[57-claudia] [she]57-claudia stammers . [I]2959-i stare at [her]57-claudia , sad that [she]57-claudia ’s hurting . “ [I]57-claudia love [you]189-claud , [Jameson]186-jameson . Come back to [me]57-claudia , ”[57-claudia] [she]57-claudia pleads as [she]57-claudia takes [my]2959-i hand in [hers]57-claudia . “ [You]189-claud need to go , [Claud]189-claud . ”[57-claudia] “ [You]189-claud ’re kicking [me]57-claudia out ? ”[57-claudia] [she]57-claudia shrieks . “ No . [I]57-claudia ’m asking [you]189-claud to leave . ”[57-claudia] “ That ’s the same thing . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i exhale heavily ; this is n’t going to end well . [I]2959-i need to end it before an all - out war begins . [I]2959-i kiss [her]57-claudia on the forehead and walk to the door and open it . “ Goodbye , [Claudia]57-claudia . ”[57-claudia] [She]57-claudia angrily swipes the tears from [her]57-claudia eyes and storms past [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i close the door and stare at the carpet for a moment as [I]2959-i feel the tectonic plates move another notch closer to goal . [I]2959-i go back to [my]2959-i desk and dial [Emily]186-jameson ’s number . “ Hi , ”[57-claudia] [she]57-claudia answers . “ Hi . ”[57-claudia] “ [I]2959-i came up to see if [you]2959-i wanted to go out to lunch today . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile softly . [I]2959-i love [this woman]57-claudia — not an inch of insecurity . “ [I]186-jameson do . Meet [you]2959-i in [the foyer]683-the kitchen at one . ”[186-jameson] [Emily]186-jameson It ’s just around three in the afternoon . [I]2959-i turn to [Aaron]0-aaron . “ Wish [that damn cheesecake Uber]153-uber eats would show up about now . ”[2959-i] “ [Ha]163-ha , right ? ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron mutters . “ [I]0-aaron ’ll go make the coffees . ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i stand and make [my]2959-i way to [the kitchen]683-the kitchen . [I]2959-i make [Aaron]0-aaron ’s and then [Molly]198-molly ’s , and then as [I]2959-i ’m making [mine]2959-i , [Jake]108-jay walks into [the kitchen]683-the kitchen . “ Hi , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[108-jay] “ Oh , hi . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stir the coffee . “ Holy shit , get ready for a media storm tomorrow . ”[2959-i] “ Why ? ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron looks around and leans in as if not wanting [anyone]272-anyone to hear what [he]0-aaron has to say . “ [You]3174-you should see what [Ferrara]2430-tristan is putting to print tomorrow . ”[0-aaron] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ [You]3174-you ca n’t tell [anyone]272-anyone , ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron whispers . “ [I]0-aaron would n’t . ”[0-aaron] “ [They]3175-they have new dirt on [Jameson Miles]186-jameson . The shit is about to hit the fan . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes widen . “ What ? How do [you]3174-you know ? ”[2959-i] “ [Our]1688-our insider in [[their]3175-they office]3176-their office has just called it through . ”[0-aaron] “ What is it ? ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron looks around . “ Apparently — ”[433-someone else] [Someone else]433-someone else walks into [the kitchen]683-the kitchen , and [we]1688-our both step back from each other guiltily . [The guy]2476-the guy begins to make idle chitchat with [Jake]108-jay , and if [I]2959-i wait around , it will be too obvious that [I]2959-i am waiting to talk to [him]108-jay alone . Shit , [I]2959-i ’ll come back in a minute . [I]2959-i make [my]2959-i way back to [my]2959-i desk with [my]2959-i heart in [my]2959-i throat . What dirt do [they]1690-they have on [Jay]108-jay ? Oh hell , [I]2959-i need to find out what it is . [I]2959-i keep an eye on [the kitchen]683-the kitchen , and as soon as [I]2959-i see [Jake]108-jay go back to [his]108-jay desk , [I]2959-i make [my]2959-i way over to [him]108-jay , and [his]108-jay eyes light up when [he]108-jay sees [me]2959-i . “ Hi . ”[108-jay] “ Meet [me]2959-i in [the photocopy room]3177-the photocopy room , please ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Sure . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i walk in and wait , and moments later [he]108-jay follows [me]2959-i in . “ What the hell is going on ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [I]108-jay ca n’t tell [you]108-jay [here]385-new york ; it ’s too risky , ”[108-jay] [he]108-jay says as [he]108-jay looks around . “ Just tell [me]2959-i , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i almost beg . “ Meet [me]2959-i after work , and [I]2959-i ’ll tell [you]108-jay everything over a quick drink . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [him]108-jay . “ What time ? ”[2959-i] “ Six thirty ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i think for a moment . That would still give [me]2959-i time to go to [Tristan]2430-tristan if [I]2959-i need to . “ Just tell [me]2959-i now . ”[2959-i] “ No way . [I]2959-i ’ll tell [you]108-jay it all tonight ; it ’s too in depth . ”[2959-i] Damn it , [I]2959-i do n’t want to meet [this idiot]2430-tristan , but if [I]2959-i do n’t , how would [I]2959-i know what [Ferrara]2430-tristan is up to ? If [I]2959-i find out , then maybe [we]1691-we can get an injunction and stop the story from going to print . “ Okay , fine . Where ? ”[1691-we] “ [Harry]212-harry ’s Bar , six thirty . ”[1691-we] “ Okay , see [you]108-jay there . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i go back to [my]2959-i desk and look around guiltily . [My]2959-i heart rate is going through the roof . What dirt do [they]1692-they have on [Jameson]186-jameson ? Oh no , [[my]2959-i poor man]2430-tristan . [Molly]198-molly and [Aaron]0-aaron are both not at [their]1692-they desks , and [I]2959-i know [I]2959-i have to ring [Jay]108-jay and let [him]108-jay know [I]2959-i ’m going to be late when [they]1692-they ca n’t hear [me]2959-i lie and use them as [my]2959-i alibi . [I]2959-i nervously dial [his]108-jay number . “ Hi , ”[108-jay] [his]108-jay sexy voice purrs down the phone . “ Hi . ”[108-jay] [I]2959-i begin to break into a sweat as [I]2959-i prepare to lie . “ [I]2959-i ’m going to go out to dinner with [Molly]198-molly and [Aaron]0-aaron tonight . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i screw up [my]2959-i face . “ [Aaron]0-aaron is a bit down , and [we]3179-we ’re going to try and cheer [him]108-jay up . ”[2959-i] “ Oh . ”[108-jay] [He]108-jay seems surprised . “ Is that okay ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply nervously . “ Of course it is . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i ’ll come over as soon as [I]2959-i finish , and it wo n’t be late . ”[2959-i] “ Okay , [babe]2959-i . ”[2959-i] “ What will [you]2959-i eat ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . [I]2959-i hate that [I]2959-i wo n’t be cooking for [him]108-jay . Looking after [Jameson]186-jameson has become [my]2959-i favorite thing . “ [I]186-jameson ’ll find something ; do n’t worry about [me]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] “ Oh , okay . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i fall silent , feeling guilty . As if sensing [my]2959-i inner turmoil , [he]108-jay asks , “ Is everything all right , [Emily]186-jameson ? ”[108-jay] “ Yes , of course . [I]2959-i love [you]186-jameson . See [you]186-jameson tonight . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hang up in a rush before [I]2959-i confess [my]2959-i lie . Six thirty on the dot [I]2959-i walk into [Harry ’s Bar]37-harry ’s bar . [I]2959-i ’ve been here before with [Aaron]0-aaron and [Molly]198-molly , so [I]2959-i know where it is . [Jake]108-jay is in [the back corner]1693-the back corner , and [he]108-jay waves happily when [he]108-jay sees [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i smile awkwardly and make [my]2959-i way over to the table . A glass of wine sits there waiting for [me]2959-i . “ Hi . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sit down opposite [him]108-jay . “ Hi . [You]108-jay look beautiful . ”[108-jay] [He]108-jay smiles as [he]108-jay looks [me]2959-i up and down . [I]2959-i frown . [I]2959-i went [home]2289-home and showered and changed quickly . [I]2959-i hope [he]108-jay does n’t think it was for [him]108-jay . [I]2959-i changed for [Jay]108-jay for when [I]2959-i see [him]108-jay later . “ [You]108-jay ordered [me]2959-i a drink ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ Yes . ”[108-jay] [He]108-jay smiles warmly . “ [I]108-jay hope [you]108-jay like it — cab sav . ”[108-jay] “ Thanks . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sip it . “ What ’s the story about [Jameson]186-jameson ? ”[108-jay] [He]108-jay opens the menu . “ Should [we]3180-we get something to eat ? ”[108-jay] “ [I]2959-i ’m really not hungry , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply . [I]2959-i just want to get the information and get the hell out of here . [He]108-jay keeps reading the menu . “ [I]108-jay might get some wedges . ”[108-jay] “ Tell [me]2959-i what [you]2959-i know , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask again . “ Well , it ’s a tangled web . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i wine as [I]2959-i watch [him]108-jay . [I]2959-i ’m so nervous about what [he]108-jay ’s about to tell [me]2959-i that [I]2959-i feel sick . “ Apparently there is a huge story coming out tomorrow . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i wine . “ About ? ”[2959-i] “ Well . . . ”[108-jay] [He]108-jay pauses . “ [I]108-jay think [I]108-jay ’m going to get the wedges ; do [you]2959-i want wedges ? ”[108-jay] “ Fine , get the wedges , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . [He]108-jay keeps looking at the menu , and [I]2959-i ’m about to explode . Pick some food , [you]2959-i damn fool . “ [I]2959-i ’ll get the wedges , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say as [I]2959-i stand in a rush . “ Is that it ? Is that all [you]2959-i want ? ”[2959-i] “ Uh - huh . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i march to the counter . “ Can [I]2959-i have a bowl of wedges and a trio of dipping sauces , please ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i exhale heavily as [I]2959-i try to calm [myself]2959-i down . Just be calm . “ [Emily]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hear a voice behind [me]2959-i . “ Is that all ? ”[717-the waiter] [the waiter]717-the waiter asks [me]2959-i . “ Yes , please . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i turn back toward the voice that just called [me]2959-i . [Jake]108-jay grabs [my]2959-i hand and kisses [me]2959-i on the lips . [I]2959-i step back , shocked . “ What are [you]108-jay doing ? ”[2959-i] “ Kissing [you]108-jay . ”[108-jay] [He]108-jay smiles as [he]108-jay leans in to kiss [me]2959-i again . [I]2959-i jump back and out of [his]108-jay reach . “ What the hell , [Jake]108-jay ? [I]2959-i do n’t like [you]108-jay like that , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap as [I]2959-i wipe [my]2959-i mouth . “ [I]2959-i thought that since [we]3181-we were on a date . . . ”[2959-i] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer , horrified . “ [I]108-jay came here to find out about [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[108-jay] [He]108-jay smiles a broad , cheeky smile and then winks . [I]2959-i glare at [him]108-jay . “ There ’s no breaking story , is there ? ”[108-jay] [He]108-jay shrugs . “ [We]3181-we could make the story about the wild night [we]3181-we spend together . ”[108-jay] “ [You]108-jay ’re [a fucking idiot]108-jay , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ [I]2959-i am not interested in [you]108-jay . ”[2959-i] “ Oh , but [you]108-jay should be . ”[108-jay] [He]108-jay grabs [my]2959-i hand again , and [I]2959-i push [him]108-jay hard in the chest . “ Stop it . ”[108-jay] “ That will be twenty - two dollars , ”[1696-the poor waiter] [the poor waiter]1696-the poor waiter says as [he]108-jay looks between [us]1697-us . “ [I]2959-i ’m not paying for this imbecile ’s wedges , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ Goodbye , [Jake]108-jay , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say as [I]2959-i storm toward the door . “ [Emily]186-jameson . . . come on . [We]1697-us would be great together , ”[108-jay] [he]108-jay calls . [I]2959-i stumble out of [the bar]459-the bar , furious , as steam shoots from [my]2959-i ears . [I]2959-i ’ve been stressed out all day , and for what ? Stupid [Jake]108-jay ’s lie to get [me]2959-i on [my]2959-i own . [The guy]2476-the guy ’s a fucking sleazebag . And now [I]2959-i ca n’t even go [home]2289-home because [I]2959-i lied to [Jay]108-jay about where [I]2959-i am . [I]2959-i walk into [a Thai restaurant]1701-a thai restaurant , and [the waiter]717-the waiter approaches [me]2959-i . “ Can [I]717-the waiter have a table for one , please ? ”[717-the waiter] [I]2959-i ask sadly . [I]2959-i ’ll just eat dinner alone and then go [home]2289-home to [[my]2959-i man]2829-my man . [I]2959-i ca n’t believe [I]2959-i fell for that trick . What [an asshole]662-an asshole . At least there ’s no story . [Jameson]186-jameson [I]2959-i bend and kiss [Emily]186-jameson on the forehead in the dark . [She]186-jameson ’s still sleeping . “ [I]186-jameson ’m going , [babe]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] “ Hmm . ”[186-jameson] [She]186-jameson wraps [her]186-jameson arms around [me]2959-i and pulls [me]2959-i down on top of [her]186-jameson . “ No , do n’t go . Play hooky today . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i smile in [her]186-jameson arms . “ [I]2959-i ca n’t ; [I]2959-i have a meeting this morning . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sigh . [I]2959-i have so much damage control to do . Even though the immediate story - leak threat has come to an end , this battle with [Ferrara]2430-tristan is nowhere near over . If anything , [I]2959-i feel it ’s about to come to a head . “ Two days until [we]1705-we go away , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i remind [her]186-jameson . [She]186-jameson smiles with [her]186-jameson eyes closed . “ Two days is too long , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles . One of these days [I]186-jameson ’m going to kidnap [you]79-mr. miles . ”[186-jameson] [We]1705-we kiss softly , again and again , and [I]2959-i can feel [my]2959-i arousal grow between [my]2959-i legs . [I]2959-i pull back from [her]186-jameson . “ [I]2959-i ’ve got to go , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper into [her]186-jameson hair . “ If [I]2959-i stay here , [I]2959-i ’m going to fuck [you]2959-i and be late . ”[2959-i] “ Good . ”[186-jameson] [She]186-jameson smirks . “ Fuck [me]2959-i and be late . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i chuckle against [her]186-jameson lips , and with one long , last , lingering kiss , [I]2959-i get up and stare at [her]186-jameson lying in [my]2959-i bed , which is all messed up . [She]186-jameson smiles up at [me]2959-i , and [my]2959-i heart constricts . Nothing has ever looked so perfect . . . or felt so right . Even with all this shit going on , [Emily]186-jameson instills in [me]2959-i a sense of calm , as if the whole world is still all right because [we]1706-we have each other . “ [I]186-jameson love [you]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] “ [I]186-jameson love [you]186-jameson more . ”[186-jameson] [She]186-jameson smiles as [she]186-jameson sits up and makes a last - minute attempt to drag [me]2959-i back to bed . It ’s so fucking hard to leave when [she]186-jameson ’s like this . [I]2959-i make [my]2959-i way [downstairs]2454-downstairs and see [[my]2959-i trusty friend]1708-my trusty friend [Alan]246-alan standing beside [the car]369-the car . “ Morning . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . [He]1708-my trusty friend gives [me]2959-i a sad smile , and [I]2959-i frown . “ Everything all right ? ”[1708-my trusty friend] [He]1708-my trusty friend opens the door of [the limo]678-the limo , and [Tristan]2430-tristan , [Christopher]141-christopher , and [Elliot]140-elliot are in the back , waiting for [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i frown . “ Hi . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes flick to [Alan]246-alan in question . “ What ’s going on ? ”[2959-i] “ Get in . ”[140-elliot] [Elliot]140-elliot sighs . [I]2959-i glance between [them]1711-them ; [their]1711-them faces are solemn , and [I]2959-i know something has happened . “ Is [dad]246-alan all right ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ [Dad]196-dad ’s fine . ”[2959-i] “ [Mom]70-mom ? ”[2959-i] “ [She]70-mom ’s great . Get in . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i get in and close the door , and [the limo]678-the limo pulls out into [the traffic]709-the traffic . “ [I]2430-tristan want [you]70-mom to know that [we]3182-we do n’t believe anything about this , and [we]3182-we are simply here for [you]70-mom , ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan says . “ What ’s going on ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap as agitation washes over [me]2959-i . [Elliot]140-elliot hands [me]2959-i the paper . [I]2959-i stare at it for a moment , and it takes a few seconds for [my]2959-i brain to process what [I]2959-i ’m seeing . The front page of [the Gazette]596-the gazette is a huge image of [Emily]186-jameson kissing [Jake]108-jay [the investigator]108-jay . [She]186-jameson ’s holding [his]108-jay hand and smiling as [his]108-jay lips press to [hers]186-jameson . It looks as though it ’s in [a restaurant]760-a restaurant or something . [I]2959-i frown as [my]2959-i chest tightens . “ What the fuck is this ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap angrily as [I]2959-i flick the paper . [I]2959-i scan the story . [Jameson Miles]186-jameson — [Media Guru]213-media guru ’s Fall from [Grace]214-grace In what appears to be the final nail in [Jameson Miles]186-jameson ’s media coffin , [his]186-jameson fiancée , [Emily Foster]186-jameson , has been having a secret affair . [The two]1715-the two have been spotted in [various locations]1716-various locations and were snapped holidaying in [Italy]38-italy two months ago . Leaked bank statements released today prove that [Jameson Miles]186-jameson has been embezzling money and transferring it to an offshore account . [The board]1717-the board is expected to fire [him]186-jameson as [CEO of]186-jameson [Miles Media]68-miles media today , and criminal charges will be laid . Looks like [Emily Foster]186-jameson jumped [ship]1718-ship just in time . Chapter 21 [I]2959-i look up to [[my]2959-i brothers]2616-my brothers , speechless . [I]2959-i stare back down at the photo of [Emily]186-jameson . [She]186-jameson ’s wearing [her]186-jameson yellow dress . . . the same one [she]186-jameson was wearing yesterday . [My]2959-i eyebrows rise by [themselves]2616-my brothers as [I]2959-i try to make sense of this . “ When was this taken ? ”[2959-i] “ No idea , but it had to be lately . [She]186-jameson has the bracelet on that [you]186-jameson bought [her]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i glance down to [her]186-jameson arm , and sure enough , the diamond - and - gold bracelet is on [her]186-jameson arm . Can it be ? [I]2959-i frown — a clusterfuck of questions . . . not [[my]2959-i Emily]186-jameson , no . “ [We]3183-we know it ’s not [you]186-jameson , ”[140-elliot] [Elliot]140-elliot says . “ [You]186-jameson ’ve been hacked ; [we]3183-we will prove it . [I]140-elliot promise [you]186-jameson . ”[140-elliot] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown , unable to string a sentence together . [I]2959-i drag [my]2959-i eyes up to [[my]2959-i brothers]2616-my brothers in confusion . “ There ’ve been transfers , [Jameson]186-jameson . Millions of dollars have left [our]3183-we bank accounts with [your]186-jameson password , ”[141-christopher] [Christopher]141-christopher says solemnly . [I]2959-i narrow [my]2959-i eyes . “ What are [you]186-jameson talking about ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [I]2959-i do n’t understand . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i glance back down at the image . “ When was this photo taken ? ”[2959-i] “ This is a setup ; [I]2430-tristan ’m sure of it , ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan snaps . “ [Emily]186-jameson would n’t do this . ”[2430-tristan] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown , unable to believe what [I]2959-i ’m hearing . [I]2959-i run [my]2959-i two hands through [my]2959-i hair as [I]2959-i begin to perspire ; adrenaline rushes through [my]2959-i bloodstream . “ That ’s bullshit , and [you]2959-i know it , ”[140-elliot] [Elliot]140-elliot snaps . “ The timing of this image going to print is no coincidence . ”[140-elliot] [I]2959-i frown as [my]2959-i eyes come to [Elliot]140-elliot . “ Has [Emily]186-jameson been in [[your]2959-i apartment]2745-your apartment alone ? ”[140-elliot] [he]140-elliot asks . [I]2959-i stare at [him]140-elliot , [my]2959-i mind a clusterfuck of confusion . “ Has [she]186-jameson had access to [your]2959-i computers , [Jameson]186-jameson ? ”[141-christopher] [Christopher]141-christopher snaps . [I]2959-i screw [my]2959-i face up . “ Yes . . . but . . . ”[2959-i] [They]1721-they all sit back in [their]1721-they seats as if collectively coming to a conclusion . [I]2959-i look between [them]1721-they . “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [I]2959-i think [Emily]186-jameson ’s working with [Gabriel Ferrara]2430-tristan . It ’s all a little bit too coincidental , if [you]2430-tristan ask [me]2959-i . [She]186-jameson ’s been sent in to keep [you]2430-tristan occupied while [he]140-elliot planned [your]2430-tristan demise . ”[2959-i] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ That ’s preposterous . ”[2959-i] “ Yes , it is , ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan agrees . “ Fucking ridiculous . ”[2430-tristan] “ Think about it , ”[140-elliot] [Elliot]140-elliot snaps . “ [She]186-jameson conveniently shows up here and , within weeks , has [you]2430-tristan by the balls . ”[140-elliot] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i screw up [my]2959-i face . “ Fucking bullshit . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reread the story as fury rages inside of [me]2959-i like never before . [Elliot]140-elliot hits the paper with the back of [his]140-elliot hand . “ What ’s this fucking photo , then ? ”[140-elliot] “ A setup , ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan snaps . [I]2959-i stare at the image ; [she]1722-she ’s holding [Jake]108-jay ’s hand and smiling as [he]108-jay kisses [her]1722-she . . . it looks like [she]1722-she ’s happy to be there . [My]2959-i eyes flick to [Tristan]2430-tristan in question . [I]2959-i have no idea what to think . . . what the actual fuck is going on here ? “ [I]2430-tristan ’m telling [you]2430-tristan , [man]2430-tristan , it ’s a camera angle ; [you]2430-tristan know better than [anyone that the right angle]3185-anyone that the right angle can tell a completely different story , ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan says . “ Bullshit . Where there ’s smoke there ’s always fire , ”[140-elliot] [Elliot]140-elliot growls . “ Nevertheless , [Emily Foster]186-jameson is fucking irrelevant right now . Deal with [her]186-jameson later . [You]2430-tristan ’re being accused of embezzlement . [You]2430-tristan could go to [jail]1119-jail , [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[140-elliot] [I]2959-i run both of [my]2959-i hands through [my]2959-i hair as [I]2959-i bring [my]2959-i focus back to the facts . [I]2959-i feel a surge of adrenaline rush throughout [my]2959-i body as [my]2959-i skin prickles . “ What ’s happened ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . [I]2959-i can hear [my]2959-i angry heartbeat in [my]2959-i ears . “ [We]3187-we ’re not sure . Huge bank transfers have been coming out of the accounts , and [nobody]2321-nobody noticed , ”[141-christopher] [Christopher]141-christopher replies . “ Going to where ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ An offshore account . ”[2959-i] “ How the fuck am [I]2959-i implicated in all of this ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i glance back down at the image of [Emily]186-jameson kissing [Jake]108-jay , and [I]2959-i want to kill [somebody]251-somebody . . . [Gabriel Ferrara]2430-tristan . “ [I]2430-tristan do n’t understand . ”[2430-tristan] [I]2959-i drag [my]2959-i eyes to [[my]2959-i brother]1724-my brother to try and focus on the facts . “ It ’s coming up that the transfers were made from [your]2430-tristan log - in details . ”[2959-i] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i screw up [my]2959-i face in question . “ That ’s impossible ; [I]2959-i have n’t been into [our]3189-us business accounts for months . [I]2959-i have no reason to . ”[2959-i] “ That ’s what [I]2430-tristan said , ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan snaps . “ [I]2430-tristan handle the money side of things ; [you]2430-tristan all know that . ”[2430-tristan] “ [We]3189-us have the accounts and legal team meeting [us]3189-us at [the office]385-new york at eight , ”[140-elliot] [Elliot]140-elliot replies . [My]2959-i eyes flick to [him]140-elliot . “ Does [Dad]196-dad know ? ”[2959-i] “ Yeah . ”[140-elliot] [He]140-elliot exhales heavily . “ [He]140-elliot ’s meeting [us]3189-us there . ”[140-elliot] [I]2959-i clench [my]2959-i jaw and stare out the window as [we]1725-we fly through [the streets of [New York]385-new york]1726-the streets of new york . Anger , confusion , and betrayal are all that [I]2959-i see . [I]2959-i drag [my]2959-i hand down [my]2959-i face and inhale deeply as [I]2959-i try to slow [my]2959-i heart rate down . [I]2959-i feel crazier than ever before . [My]2959-i reputation . . . [my]2959-i business . [[My]2959-i girl]2959-i . [I]2959-i stare out the window , and moments later [we]1725-we arrive at [the Miles Media building]521-the miles media building . It ’s just 7:20 a.m. , and [we]1725-we make [our]1725-we way to the top floor . [I]2959-i need to be alone before the craziness begins . [I]2959-i walk into [[my]2959-i office]514-the room , shut the door , and drop into [my]2959-i chair at [my]2959-i desk . [The room]514-the room is silent . . . and empty . Through [my]2959-i windows [I]2959-i can see bustling [New York]385-new york below as [the city]385-new york prepares for the day . Everything down there seems so normal . . . so in order . [My]2959-i temper is simmering like a volcano and dangerously close to exploding . [I]2959-i do n’t know if [I]2959-i ’m going to smash something or burst into tears . Either way , [I]2959-i feel completely unstable . With [my]2959-i elbows on the desk , [I]2959-i drop [my]2959-i head into [my]2959-i hands ; [my]2959-i breath quivers on the intake as [I]2959-i try to calm [myself]2959-i down . [She]1730-she told [me]2959-i [she]1730-she was going out with [Molly]198-molly and [Aaron]0-aaron last night . [I]2959-i go over the conversation [we]1731-we had when [she]1730-she got [home]2289-home . “ How were [[your]198-molly friends]3191-your friends ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i asked . “ Great . . . it was good to see [them]3191-your friends , ”[1730-she] [she]1730-she replied . [She]1730-she lied . [I]2959-i was at [home]2289-home missing [her]1730-she . . . and [she]1730-she was out with [another man]526-another man . [I]2959-i get a lump in [my]2959-i throat as reality sets in . [I]2959-i ’ve been over here falling madly in love with [her]1730-she . . . while [she]1730-she ’s been seeing [someone else]433-someone else . The door clicks , and [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes to try and block out [Tristan]2430-tristan — [I]2959-i know it ’s [him]2430-tristan . [He]2430-tristan knows [me]2959-i better than [anyone]272-anyone . [I]2959-i hear [him]2430-tristan go to [the bar]459-the bar and drop ice into two glasses , then the comforting sound of scotch being poured . [He]2430-tristan places one in front of [me]2959-i , and [my]2959-i heavy eyes rise to meet [his]2430-tristan . [He]2430-tristan clinks [his]2430-tristan glass with [mine]2959-i as it sits in [my]2959-i hand . “ Well , this day fucking sucks already . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan leans on [my]2959-i desk with [his]2430-tristan behind . “ [You]2430-tristan think ? ”[2430-tristan] [I]2959-i mutter as [I]2959-i take a sip . [I]2959-i feel the burn as it glides down [my]2959-i throat . “ When was the photo taken ? ”[2430-tristan] [he]2430-tristan asks . “ Last night . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan frowns . [I]2959-i clench [my]2959-i jaw as [I]2959-i stare out the window , ashamed that [the woman [I]2959-i love]1737-the woman i love does n’t love [me]2959-i back . “ [She]1737-the woman i love said [she]1737-the woman i love was out with [Molly]198-molly and [Aaron]0-aaron . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan sips [his]2430-tristan scotch and raises [his]2430-tristan eyebrows as if surprised that [she]1737-the woman i love lied . “ [I]2959-i thought [she]1737-the woman i love was the one . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown , [my]2959-i chest constricting once more . “ That makes [two of [us]1738-us]3192-two of us . ”[2959-i] Silence hangs between [us]1738-us . “ Let ’s just get through this day and prove [your]2959-i innocence . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan sighs as [he]2430-tristan drains [his]2430-tristan glass . [I]2959-i nod . [He]2430-tristan watches [me]2959-i for a moment , and eventually [he]2430-tristan asks , “ [You]2959-i okay ? ”[2430-tristan] [I]2959-i nod once , unable to push the lie past [my]2959-i lips . “ [We]1738-us will prove that [you]2959-i ’re innocent , [Jay]108-jay . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan puts [his]2430-tristan reassuring hand on [my]2959-i shoulder . “ [I]2959-i promise [you]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i drain [my]2959-i glass and go to [the bar]459-the bar for a refill . [He]2430-tristan watches [me]2959-i once more , and [I]2959-i know [he]2430-tristan ’s choosing [his]2430-tristan words wisely . “ Tell [me]2959-i that [you]2959-i ’re all right . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i lips , and [my]2959-i eyes rise to [his]2430-tristan . “ [I]2959-i ’m all right . ”[2959-i] “ Why do [I]2959-i get the feeling that [you]2959-i ’re about to lose [your]2959-i shit and kill [someone]2326-someone ? ”[2959-i] “ If [you]2959-i want to save a life today , get rid of [Jake Peters]108-jay . ”[2959-i] “ It ’s already done . [I]2959-i called and fired [him]108-jay this morning at five a.m. , as soon as [I]2959-i saw the story . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i take a sip of the amber fluid ; it heats [my]2959-i throat as it goes down . [He]2430-tristan pauses before [he]2430-tristan asks , “ Do [you]2959-i want [me]2430-tristan to fire [Emily]186-jameson ? ”[2430-tristan] [I]2959-i stare out the window and over [the city]2-the city . “ No . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2430-tristan was thinking . . . , ”[2430-tristan] [he]2430-tristan continues . “ Get out , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i bark . “ But — ”[2959-i] “ Now . ”[2959-i] The door clicks quietly behind [him]2430-tristan , and [I]2959-i stand and move to the window and stare out over [the city]2-the city . Adrenaline surges through [my]2959-i body , and [I]2959-i feel [the earth]1741-the earth ’s tectonic plates move beneath [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i scotch as a cold , detached determination takes its place in [my]2959-i soul . [Nobody]2321-nobody fucks with [me]2959-i like this and gets away with it . Get ready to meet [[your]1743-your maker]1744-your maker , [Mr. Ferrara]2430-tristan . [Your]1743-your day is near . [Emily]186-jameson [I]2959-i bounce out to [the waiting limo]1745-the waiting limo and see [trusty Alan]246-alan standing beside [it]1745-the waiting limo . [He]246-alan opens the door . “ Good morning , [Alan]246-alan . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan nods . “ Morning . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i frown and get in . [He]246-alan ’s not in a very good mood today . The door closes behind [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i look around for the paper . Hmm . . . [Jameson]186-jameson must have taken it with [him]246-alan this morning . [I]2959-i ’m still sleepy and lethargic . There ’s a lot to be said for morning exercise — it definitely wakes [you]1744-your maker up for the day . [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i head back and close [my]2959-i eyes as [we]1746-we roll through the traffic . What feels like ten minutes later , [the car]369-the car comes to a halt and switches off . [I]2959-i glance up . [We]1746-we are out in front of [[my]2959-i apartment building]1748-my apartment building . Huh ? [Alan]246-alan opens the door . “ What are [you]246-alan doing ? ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i ask . “ [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles instructed [me]246-alan to drop [you]246-alan here this morning . ”[246-alan] “ What . . . why ? ”[246-alan] “ [He]79-mr. miles suggested that [you]246-alan have the day off . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan gestures with [his]246-alan hand for [me]2959-i to get out of [the car]369-the car . “ Huh ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ What ’s going on , [Alan]246-alan ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i ’m not sure , but [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles said that [he]79-mr. miles did n’t want [you]246-alan to come into [the office]385-new york and that [he]79-mr. miles will be in touch . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i screw up [my]2959-i face . “ Be in touch — what does that mean ? Why ca n’t [I]2959-i go to [the office]385-new york ? [I]2959-i ’m confused . ”[2959-i] “ [You]246-alan need to get out of [the car]369-the car , [Emily]186-jameson , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan asserts . “ What ? ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan gestures again with [his]246-alan hand , and [I]2959-i get out in a huff . “ Has something happened ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer as [I]2959-i brush past [him]246-alan . “ Is [Jameson]186-jameson all right ? ”[2959-i] “ [You]246-alan need to speak to [him]246-alan , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ Fine , [I]2959-i will , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap as [I]2959-i take out [my]2959-i phone and dial [his]246-alan number . “ Goodbye , [Emily]186-jameson , ”[246-alan] [Alan]246-alan says before getting into [the limo]678-the limo and quickly pulling out . [Jameson]186-jameson ’s phone rings out . [I]2959-i call again . . . it goes straight to voice mail . [He]186-jameson ’s switched it off . “ What the fuck ? ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i whisper , annoyed . [I]2959-i go to call [Sammia]246-alan , [[his]186-jameson PA]2994-his pa , but then realize that it ’s only eight o’clock — [she]1751-she is n’t even at work yet . What the hell is going on ? [I]2959-i cross [the street]550-the street and half walk , half run to [the corner paper stall]1753-the corner paper stall . [I]2959-i see the front page of [the Gazette]596-the gazette , and the blood drains from [my]2959-i face as [I]2959-i see a half - page picture of [Jake]108-jay and [me]2959-i kissing . “ Dear God , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [I]2959-i read the story . [Jameson Miles]186-jameson — [Media Guru]213-media guru ’s Fall from [Grace]214-grace In what appears to be the final nail in [Jameson Miles]186-jameson ’s media coffin , [his]186-jameson fiancée , [Emily Foster]186-jameson , has been having a secret affair . [The two]1715-the two have been spotted in various locations and were snapped holidaying in [Italy]38-italy two months ago . Leaked bank statements released today prove that [Jameson Miles]186-jameson has been embezzling money and transferring it to an offshore account . [The board]1717-the board is expected to fire [him]186-jameson as CEO of [Miles Media]68-miles media today , and criminal charges will be laid . Looks like [Emily Foster]186-jameson jumped [ship]1718-ship just in time . What ? [My]2959-i hand goes over [my]2959-i mouth in horror . Oh [[my]2959-i God]2363-my god , poor [Jameson]186-jameson . “ [I]2959-i ’m not [his]186-jameson fiancée , [[you]2959-i fucking idiots]3196-you fucking idiots , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sneer . “ How many things can [you]2959-i possibly fuck up in one story ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i turn and begin to storm back to [[my]2959-i apartment]766-my apartment as [I]2959-i redial [his]186-jameson number with a sense of urgency . “ Hey , ”[186-jameson] [the paper man]186-jameson calls out to [me]2959-i . “ [You]2959-i did n’t pay for that . ”[186-jameson] “ Oh , [I]2959-i ’m sorry , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i apologize as [I]2959-i rush back to pay . “ [I]186-jameson was distracted . Thank [you]2959-i . ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson ’s phone goes straight to voice mail once more . What do [I]2959-i do ? What do [I]2959-i do ? [My]2959-i shoulder slams into [a man]2300-a man as [he]2300-a man walks past . “ Hey , watch where [you]2959-i ’re going , ”[2300-a man] [he]2300-a man calls . “ Sorry , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . [I]2959-i dial [Tristan]2430-tristan ’s number . “ Hi , [Em]3197-em . ”[2959-i] “ [Tristan]2430-tristan , what the hell is going on ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i cry . “ [We]3198-we ’re in meetings ; [I]2959-i ’ll call [you]2430-tristan later . ”[2959-i] “ What ? ”[2300-a man] [He]2300-a man hangs up . “ Ahhh , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i cry . [My]2959-i eyes fill with tears of frustration . [He]2300-a man would n’t believe it . Surely , [he]2300-a man knows it ’s not true . . . but there ’s a photo as evidence . [I]2959-i dial [Molly]198-molly ’s number . “ Hey , [chick]3199-chick , do [you]2430-tristan want a coffee ? ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly asks chirpily . “ [Molly]198-molly , ”[198-molly] [I]2959-i cry in relief that [someone]2326-someone answers [their]2326-someone damn phone . “ Oh [my]2959-i God , it ’s all lies . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stop on the spot on [the busy sidewalk]1762-the busy sidewalk and move to the side up against [the building]361-the building to talk . “ What ’s wrong ? ”[2959-i] “ The Gazette , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . “ Google [the Gazette]596-the gazette . There ’s an image on the front page of [me]2959-i kissing [Jake]108-jay , and it says [we]3201-we are having an affair . ”[2959-i] “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ [Somebody]251-somebody must have been following [me]2959-i , or . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shake [my]2959-i head as [I]2959-i try and think of a logical explanation . “ What the fucking hell is going on ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper angrily . “ Holy shit . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly pauses . “ [I]198-molly see it . Wait . . . when the fuck did [you]198-molly kiss [Jake]108-jay ? ”[198-molly] “ [He]108-jay kissed [me]2959-i last night , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . “ [I]2959-i did n’t kiss [him]108-jay back , for fuck ’s sake . Do [you]198-molly — ”[2959-i] “ Hang on ; [I]198-molly ’m reading , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly interrupts [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i hand over [my]2959-i face as [I]2959-i wait for [her]198-molly to read . “ Oh [my]198-molly God , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly whispers . “ [Alan]246-alan brought [me]198-molly back to [[my]198-molly apartment]766-my apartment and told [me]198-molly not to come into work today . ”[198-molly] “ What ? ”[198-molly] “ [He]246-alan said that [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles will contact [me]198-molly later . ”[198-molly] “ Well , what did [Jameson]186-jameson say ? ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly asks . “ [He]246-alan wo n’t answer [his]246-alan phone . [I]198-molly called [Tristan]2430-tristan , but [he]246-alan said [they]3204-they are in meetings , and [he]246-alan ’ll call [me]198-molly later . ”[198-molly] “ Holy . . . fucking . . . shit . This is bad . ”[198-molly] “ [You]198-molly think ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i cry . “ What are [you]198-molly going to do ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]198-molly do n’t know . What do [I]198-molly do ? ”[198-molly] “ Well , if [Jameson]186-jameson told [you]198-molly to stay [home]2289-home , maybe [you]198-molly should . ”[2959-i] “ Why ? ”[2959-i] “ Because [he]246-alan does n’t need more attention ; it says here [he]246-alan ’s been accused of theft . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes widen as [I]2959-i imagine the media storm that ’s going to come from this . “ But what if [he]246-alan believes this ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . “ [I]2959-i ’ve never been with [Jake]108-jay . This is complete bullshit . [I]2959-i love [him]108-jay . ”[2959-i] “ [He]108-jay said [he]108-jay will be in touch . . . [he]108-jay will be . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i listen as [my]2959-i mind runs at a million miles an hour . “ [You]108-jay ’re just going to have to wait . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i screw up [my]2959-i face in tears . “ [You]108-jay do n’t think [I]2959-i should come in ? ”[2959-i] “ [God]0-aaron , no . [He]108-jay does n’t have time to worry about [you]108-jay too . ”[2959-i] “ But [I]2959-i did n’t do this , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [I]2959-i know . [I]2959-i ’ll go up and see [him]108-jay in [[his]108-jay office]426-his office and tell [him]108-jay everything . ”[2959-i] “ [You]108-jay will ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper hopefully . “ If [you]108-jay come in , Em , [the whole building]3207-the whole building is going to attack [you]108-jay . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i hands over [my]2959-i face in horror as [I]2959-i imagine [everyone]2304-everyone waking up to this story this morning . [I]2959-i ’m going to be [Miles Media]68-miles media ’s public enemy number one . “ [I]1765-i ’m going to get into work and find out what the hell is going on , and [I]1765-i ’ll call [you]108-jay back , okay ? ”[1765-i] [she]1765-i says . [I]2959-i nod , [my]2959-i eyes filled with tears . [I]2959-i ca n’t believe this is happening . “ Okay . ”[2959-i] “ Go back to [[your]108-jay apartment]2745-your apartment and wait . [I]1765-i ’ll be in touch . ”[1765-i] “ Thank [you]108-jay , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [I]2959-i wait on the line . “ Wait , what are [you]108-jay going to say to [Jameson]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i ’m just going to tell [him]186-jameson the truth . [I]2959-i ’ll call [you]108-jay back in half an hour . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i shoulders slump . “ Okay , thanks . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hang up . [I]2959-i walk from [[my]2959-i kitchen]1679-my kitchen and back to the living area . [I]2959-i turn and walk back the same route . It ’s been forty minutes . [Jameson]186-jameson still is n’t answering [his]186-jameson phone , and [Molly]198-molly has n’t called [me]2959-i back . What the fucking hell is going on over there ? [I]2959-i text [Jameson]186-jameson a message . [Jay]108-jay [I]2959-i do n’t know what the hell is going on . That photo is a setup . [You]1767-you know [I]2959-i love [you]1767-you and would never do that . Call [me]2959-i back , please . [I]2959-i ’m freaking out ! ! ! [I]2959-i throw [my]2959-i phone onto [the lounge]252-the lounge and continue [my]2959-i pacing . Why is n’t [anyone]272-anyone calling [me]2959-i back ? [I]2959-i wait twenty minutes and then text [Jameson]186-jameson again . [My]2959-i phone rings , and [I]2959-i scramble to answer it . It ’s [Molly]198-molly . “ Hello . ”[198-molly] “ Hi . ”[198-molly] “ What happened ? ”[198-molly] “ [I]198-molly could n’t get in to see [him]186-jameson ; [he]186-jameson was in a meeting with [the solicitors]3209-the solicitors , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly whispers . “ [He]186-jameson ’s got bigger things to worry about at the moment , [Em]186-jameson . [He]186-jameson could go to [prison]3210-prison . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . What ? “ Oh [my]2959-i God . ”[2959-i] “ Management is going nuts down here . [I]198-molly have to get off the phone before [I]198-molly get fired . ”[198-molly] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes fill with tears . . . [I]2959-i did n’t do this . “ [I]2959-i could give a rat ’s ass about [the company]2358-the company right now . [I]2959-i need [him]186-jameson to know that [I]2959-i did n’t do anything with [Jake]108-jay . That whole story is bogus . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i know . [I]2959-i ’ll go back up in [my]2959-i lunch break . But for now , hang tight . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i hand over [my]2959-i mouth as a roll of nausea fills [my]2959-i stomach . “ [I]2959-i ’ll call [you]2959-i back as soon as [I]2959-i speak to [him]1772-he . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i wait on the line , hoping for a miracle answer to come to [us]1770-us . “ Okay ? ”[1771-she] [she]1771-she asks . “ Yeah , okay , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper before hanging up the call . [I]2959-i begin to pace once more with a new sense of urgency . What if [he]1772-he believes this ? What if [the board]1717-the board believes that [he]1772-he stole the money ? What if [he]1772-he ’s charged . . . and goes to [prison]3210-prison ? Oh [[my]2959-i God]2363-my god . [I]2959-i text [him]1772-he again . [I]2959-i ’m serious . Call [me]2959-i back NOW ! ! [I]2959-i ’m losing [my]2959-i mind over here . Another thirty minutes pass as [I]2959-i continue to pace . [I]2959-i ca n’t deal with this waiting . [I]2959-i call [Molly]198-molly , and it goes straight to voice mail . [I]2959-i hang up in a fluster and call [Aaron]0-aaron . [His]0-aaron phone rings out . “ What the actual hell ! ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i cry through tears . “ What ’s going on over there ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i text [Jameson]186-jameson again . Call [me]2959-i now , or [I]2959-i ’m coming into [the office]385-new york ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! [I]2959-i ’m getting angry , [you]2959-i must know [I]2959-i ’m frantic . [My]2959-i phone rings , and the letter [J]127-j lights up the screen . [I]2959-i pick up a rush . “ Oh [my]2959-i God , [Jay]108-jay . ”[2959-i] “ Hi , ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron answers , monotone . “ What ’s going on ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [Jay]108-jay . [I]0-aaron ca n’t believe the lies . [He]0-aaron kissed [me]0-aaron once , and [I]0-aaron slapped [him]0-aaron across the face . [I]0-aaron promise [you]0-aaron that [I]0-aaron ’m not seeing that slimeball . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron stays silent . A sense of dread fills [me]2959-i . Why is [he]0-aaron so quiet ? “ [Jay]108-jay . ”[0-aaron] “ [You]0-aaron did n’t think to tell [me]0-aaron about this ? ”[0-aaron] “ It only happened last night . ”[0-aaron] “ [You]0-aaron said [you]0-aaron were with fucking [Molly]198-molly ! ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron screams . [My]2959-i eyes fill with tears at the sound of [his]0-aaron anger . “ [I]2959-i know [I]2959-i did , but [he]0-aaron said [he]0-aaron had some information about the case , and [I]2959-i knew [you]0-aaron would n’t want [me]2959-i to meet [him]0-aaron alone . ”[2959-i] “ [I]0-aaron wonder fucking why ? ”[0-aaron] [he]0-aaron bellows . [I]2959-i screw up [my]2959-i face . “ Do n’t be angry with [me]2959-i , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ That picture is . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shake [my]2959-i head as [I]2959-i try to articulate what it is that [I]2959-i want to say . “ It ’s taken out of context , [I]2959-i promise [you]0-aaron . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i have to go . Stay out of sight . [I]2959-i do n’t need to worry about [you]0-aaron too . ”[2959-i] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . “ [I]2959-i ’m too busy . ”[2959-i] “ Do n’t go , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i plead . “ [Jay]108-jay , [we]3212-we need to talk about this . [I]2959-i ’ll come to [[your]108-jay office]455-my office now . ”[2959-i] “ Do n’t [you]0-aaron dare , ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i sneers . [My]2959-i eyes widen . “ What do [you]0-aaron mean ? ”[2959-i] “ There are [a million and fucking one people in [[my]2959-i office]455-my office]3214-a million and fucking one people in my office right now , and [I]2959-i do n’t have the fucking time to deal with [your]0-aaron shit , ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i growls . [I]2959-i cringe . . . [God]0-aaron , [I]2959-i ’ve never heard [him]2959-i so angry . “ Will [I]0-aaron see [you]0-aaron tonight ? ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Goodbye , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] The line goes dead . [I]2959-i drop to the couch and stare at the wall . . . a sick sense of dread begins to sink in . . . [he]2959-i believes it . Holy fuck . Eight o’clock that evening [I]2959-i sit on [the lounge]252-the lounge and listen to the sound of a movie as it plays on the television . [I]2959-i ca n’t watch the news . [I]2959-i had to turn it off . It ’s going on and on about [the evidence building against [Jameson]186-jameson]1778-the evidence building against jameson and the embezzlement case . [My]2959-i mind is miles away . [Jameson]186-jameson has n’t called [me]2959-i back all day , and [I]2959-i do n’t know what ’s going on over there at [Miles Media]14-miles media , but [I]2959-i know it ’s a media circus . [I]2959-i ’m torn between giving [him]2959-i the space that [he]2959-i needs and running to [him]2959-i as fast as [I]2959-i can . [I]2959-i ’ve decided that [I]2959-i ’m going to do as [he]2959-i asked and just stay [here]385-new york and sit tight . [He]2959-i will call [me]2959-i as soon as [he]2959-i can . [I]2959-i know [he]2959-i will , and [he]2959-i ’s right — [me]2959-i being out and about will only add fuel to the fire . [He]2959-i really does n’t need to worry about [me]2959-i , too , at the moment . The magnitude of the situation has finally sunk in . What ’s going to happen if [they]1780-they ca n’t find out who transferred that money ? How long can [Jameson]186-jameson deal with this type of pressure ? With a lump in [my]2959-i throat [I]2959-i begin to pace . [My]2959-i carpet must be nearly threadbare after today ’s pacing activities . [I]2959-i ca n’t remember ever being this stressed . At eleven o’clock at night , [I]2959-i have n’t heard from [Jameson]186-jameson , and [I]2959-i am sick with worry , literally . [I]2959-i ’ve thrown up twice . [I]2959-i decide to call [him]186-jameson one last time . . . where is [he]186-jameson ? With shaky fingers , [I]2959-i dial [his]186-jameson number , and it rings and then goes to voice mail . [He]186-jameson ’s declined the call . [My]2959-i heart sinks , and [my]2959-i eyes fill with tears . “ This is [Jameson Miles]186-jameson ; leave a message , ”[2959-i] the recorded message plays . “ Hello . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pause . “ [Jay]108-jay , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [Baby]215-baby . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i get a lump in [my]2959-i throat . “ [I]2959-i ’m sorry for lying . [I]2959-i was trying to find out about the case , and then [he]186-jameson kissed [me]2959-i and . . . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i voice trails off . “ [I]2959-i know how this looks , but [you]2959-i have to believe [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i do n’t even like [Jake]108-jay as [a friend]2302-a friend ; [you]2959-i know that . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i walk to the window and stare out over the traffic . “ [I]2959-i ’m going out of [my]2959-i mind here . . . [I]2959-i love [you]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stay silent , unsure what to say . “ Do n’t let them poison [your]2959-i mind , [Jay]108-jay . [You]2959-i ’re [the only person who knows what [we]3216-we have]108-jay , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper through tears . “ Come [home]2289-home to [me]2959-i , where [you]2959-i belong . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pause , hoping that [I]2959-i ’m getting through to [him]2959-i . “ [I]2959-i do n’t even want to hang up . . . [I]2959-i need [you]2959-i . Please come over . . . [I]2959-i ’m begging . ”[2959-i] The other end stays deathly silent , and [I]2959-i screw up [my]2959-i face in pain . “ [I]2959-i love [you]2959-i , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . The beep sounds , and [I]2959-i am cut off . [I]2959-i throw the phone onto [the lounge]252-the lounge and begin to cry . What the hell is happening ? With [my]2959-i heart in [my]2959-i throat , [I]2959-i walk into [the Miles Media building]521-the miles media building . It ’s eight thirty in the morning , and [I]2959-i ’m coming to work . [Jay]108-jay did n’t call [me]2959-i back last night , and [I]2959-i ca n’t say that [I]2959-i blame [him]108-jay . [I]2959-i cried [myself]2959-i to sleep . . . well , [I]2959-i did n’t really sleep , so [I]2959-i do n’t think it counts . [I]2959-i ’ve got this sick lead ball in [my]2959-i stomach , and it wo n’t go away . [I]2959-i have [no one]1783-no one to blame for this fucking mess but [myself]2959-i . [I]2959-i lied to [my]2959-i love , and it backfired , and now [he]108-jay thinks the worst . So [I]2959-i ’m here today to do the best job that [I]2959-i can of making it up to [him]108-jay . [He]108-jay ’s hurt . . . [I]2959-i know [he]108-jay is . [[My]2959-i poor man]108-jay seemingly has the whole world against [him]108-jay , and [I]2959-i ’m so worried about [him]108-jay . How much stress can [a man]2300-a man take before [he]108-jay cracks ? [I]2959-i get into [the elevator]375-the elevator and swipe [my]2959-i security card to the top floors , and a red light comes up . [I]2959-i frown . No . [I]2959-i swipe it again , and the red light flickers again . “ No , [Jay]108-jay . . . do n’t do this , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper through tears . “ Do n’t [you]108-jay fucking lock [me]2959-i out . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i swipe it again ; the red light flickers once more . “ [[You]108-jay son of [a bitch]2519-a bitch]3218-you son of a bitch , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper angrily . [I]2959-i hit the fortieth - floor button , and the green light appears . [My]2959-i heart begins to hammer hard in [my]2959-i chest . [He]108-jay ’s blocked [my]2959-i access to [his]108-jay floor . [I]2959-i take out [my]2959-i phone and text [him]108-jay . Are [you]1786-you serious ? [You]1786-you ca n’t even talk to [me]2959-i ? [The elevator]375-the elevator doors open , and [I]2959-i stride out onto [my]2959-i floor as [I]2959-i try to calm [my]2959-i anger down . [I]2959-i know [he]108-jay ’s got a lot going on , but [he]108-jay knows this is hurting [me]2959-i , and [he]108-jay does n’t seem to care . Is this how [he]108-jay works ? [He]108-jay ’s just going to cut [me]2959-i from [his]108-jay life without even letting [me]2959-i explain ? [I]2959-i sit at [my]2959-i desk and stare into space . [My]2959-i leg bounces in anger . . . what do [I]2959-i do ? How do [I]2959-i make [him]108-jay understand that this is all a misunderstanding if [he]108-jay wo n’t even talk to [me]2959-i ? [A group of girls]1339-a group of girls walk out of [the elevator]375-the elevator and begin to walk down [the corridor]609-the corridor , and then [they]1339-a group of girls all stop on the spot when [they]1339-a group of girls see [me]2959-i , as if shocked . [I]2959-i stare at [them]1339-a group of girls , and [they]1339-a group of girls exchange looks and then smirk to each other . “ Hi . ”[1339-a group of girls] [One of [them]1339-a group of girls]2784-one of them fakes a smile . “ Hi , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply . [I]2959-i turn and switch on [my]2959-i computer . Great . Now [I]2959-i ’m [the office]385-new york gossip as well — can this fucking situation get any worse ? “ [Yay]336-yay , [you]336-yay ’re here , ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly ’s familiar voice sounds from behind [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i swing in [my]2959-i chair toward [her]198-molly , and [her]198-molly face falls when [she]198-molly sees [mine]2959-i . “ Oh , [baby]336-yay , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly whispers as [she]198-molly puts [her]198-molly arms around [me]2959-i . “ Are [you]336-yay all right ? ”[198-molly] “ [He]3220-he ’s blocked [my]2959-i access to [his]3220-he floor , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper against [her]198-molly shoulder . “ What ? ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly whispers as [she]198-molly fixes [my]2959-i hair . “ [He]3220-he ’s just . . . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly hesitates . “ [God]0-aaron , [I]2959-i do n’t even know what to say , [Em]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare sadly at [my]2959-i computer . “ Let ’s just get [our]3221-our work done , and [we]3221-our can brainstorm over lunch . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly smiles as [she]198-molly rubs [my]2959-i shoulder . “ Yeah , [I]198-molly guess . ”[198-molly] Over the next half hour , [I]2959-i watch on as [everyone]2304-everyone arrives for [their]2304-everyone day , sees [me]2959-i , and then proceeds to whisper to [the person next to [them]2304-everyone]1794-the person next to them . [I]2959-i ’m not only the office gossip ; [I]2959-i ’m [the office]385-new york slut . [The idiot who played upon [the CEO]2388-the ceo with [the company douche]1798-the company douche]1796-the idiot who played upon the ceo with the company douche . . . [I]2959-i ’m embarrassed , [I]2959-i ’m ashamed , and this is appalling . It ’s four o’clock , and [Jameson]186-jameson has n’t answered any of [my]2959-i calls . [I]2959-i think [I]2959-i ’m losing [my]2959-i mind . [Aaron]0-aaron thinks [I]2959-i should give [him]0-aaron time . [Molly]198-molly thinks [I]2959-i should be dropped onto [his]0-aaron floor by [a helicopter]1799-a helicopter . . . either that or bomb the whole floor . [Me]2959-i . . . [I]2959-i just want to crawl under a rock and hide . [Molly]198-molly returns from [the photocopy room]3177-the photocopy room and smiles sweetly over at [me]2959-i . “ What ? ”[198-molly] “ Say , ‘ Thank [you]198-molly , [Molly]198-molly . [You]198-molly ’re [a lifesaver]3222-a lifesaver . ’ ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly smirks . [I]2959-i frown . [She]198-molly passes [me]2959-i over a security card , and [I]2959-i stare at it in [my]2959-i hand . “ What ’s this ? ”[198-molly] “ It ’s [Melissa]217-melissa ’s card to get to the top floors . [I]2959-i stole it . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes widen . “ [You]198-molly stole [her]198-molly card ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [I]2959-i look around guiltily . “ How else are [you]198-molly going to get to see the stupid fuck ? ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly murmurs . [I]2959-i smile at [her]198-molly perfect choice of words . “ Thanks . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i go to [the bathroom]300-the bathroom and stare at [my]2959-i reflection in the mirror . [I]2959-i look like shit . [I]2959-i drop [my]2959-i shoulders and inhale deeply as [I]2959-i steel [myself]2959-i . Let ’s do this . [I]2959-i take [the elevator]375-the elevator to the top floor , with [my]2959-i heart hammering hard in [my]2959-i chest . [I]2959-i have no idea what ’s going to be awaiting [me]2959-i , but bring it the fuck on , because [I]2959-i ’m getting angry now . How dare [he]1803-his not even let [me]2959-i explain ? [The elevator]375-the elevator opens , and [Sammia]246-alan ’s face drops as [she]246-alan sees [me]2959-i . “ [Emily]186-jameson , ”[246-alan] [she]246-alan stammers as [she]246-alan stands . “ [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles is n’t here . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i storm past [her]246-alan and down [the hall]514-the room and open [his]1803-his door in a rush . . . and there [he]1803-his sits behind [his]1803-his desk , [his]1803-his cold , calm persona firmly in place . [Elliot]140-elliot is sitting with [him]140-elliot , and [his]140-elliot eyes snap up . “ How did [you]140-elliot get up [here]385-new york ? ”[140-elliot] [My]2959-i eyes find [Jameson]186-jameson ’s across [the room]514-the room , and [I]2959-i can see the hurt from here . “ Can [you]140-elliot give [us]3224-us a moment , please ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ No , ”[140-elliot] [Elliot]140-elliot snaps . “ Leave now . ”[140-elliot] [My]2959-i anger bubbles . “ With all due respect , this is none of [your]140-elliot business , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . [Elliot]140-elliot narrows [his]140-elliot eyes and stands . “ How dare [you]140-elliot — this is entirely [my]140-elliot business ! ”[140-elliot] “ Oh , [I]2959-i dare all right , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i fire back . [Jameson]186-jameson clenches [his]186-jameson jaw , and [Tristan]2430-tristan comes into [the office]385-new york . [His]186-jameson step falters when [he]186-jameson sees [me]2959-i . “ [Emily]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson frowns as [he]186-jameson looks between [the three of [us]525-the three of us]525-the three of us . “ [Tristan]2430-tristan , [I]186-jameson need a moment with [Jameson]186-jameson , please , ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i ask [him]186-jameson hopefully . “ Of course . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson forces a weak smile . “ Out , [Elliot]140-elliot . ”[140-elliot] [Elliot]140-elliot glares at [me]2959-i . “ Now , ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan repeats . [Elliot]140-elliot and [Tristan]2430-tristan leave [the office]385-new york , and [we]525-the three of us are left alone . [Jameson]186-jameson stands and goes to the window , turning [his]186-jameson back to [me]2959-i . Oh God , how do [I]2959-i fix this ? “ [Jay]108-jay , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [I]2959-i walk toward [him]186-jameson . “ [Baby]215-baby , [I]186-jameson did n’t do this . . . [you]215-baby have to believe [me]186-jameson . [I]186-jameson know how this looks . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson remains silent . “ [He]186-jameson kissed [me]186-jameson , and [I]186-jameson slapped [him]186-jameson , and [I]186-jameson had no idea that [someone]2326-someone took a photo , ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i stammer . Silence . [I]2959-i see [his]186-jameson jaw clench from the side as [he]186-jameson stares out over [New York]385-new york . “ Are [you]215-baby at least going to talk to [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i cry . “ Why did [you]215-baby block [my]186-jameson access to this floor ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson turns , angered . “ Because [I]186-jameson do n’t trust [you]215-baby . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i step back , shocked . “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ [You]215-baby heard [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i do n’t trust [you]215-baby . Get out . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i face falls . “ [Jameson]186-jameson , [I]2959-i know [you]215-baby ’re under a lot of pressure . ”[2959-i] “ This has nothing to do with the fucking pressure [I]186-jameson ’m under ! ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson screams . [I]2959-i wither . “ [You]215-baby can trust [me]2959-i , [I]2959-i promise [you]215-baby . ”[2959-i] “ Where did [you]215-baby tell [me]186-jameson [you]215-baby were on Monday night , [Emily]186-jameson ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson sneers . [I]2959-i stare at [him]186-jameson through tears . “ [I]186-jameson was trying to find out information . ”[186-jameson] “ By lying to [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i nod . “ [I]2959-i know it sounds like . . . ”[2959-i] “ Like [I]186-jameson ca n’t trust [you]215-baby . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson turns [his]186-jameson back and lifts [his]186-jameson chin skyward in defiance . “ [I]186-jameson have more to worry about at the moment than dealing with [a deceitful girlfriend]3226-a deceitful girlfriend . ”[186-jameson] “ [Jameson]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [We]3227-we have nothing to further talk about , [Emily]186-jameson . . . get out , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson says calmly . “ No , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i plead . “ [I]186-jameson ’m not leaving . [I]186-jameson love [you]215-baby . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson turns , and [his]186-jameson cold eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ Did [you]215-baby practice that speech ? ”[186-jameson] [My]2959-i heart drops . . . oh , [he]186-jameson ’s so hurt . “ [Jay]108-jay . . . ”[186-jameson] “ If [you]215-baby wo n’t leave . . . [I]186-jameson will . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson strides toward the door , and it closes quietly behind [him]186-jameson . [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes in the silence and inhale through [my]2959-i shaking chest . Did [he]186-jameson just end [us]1808-us ? This ca n’t be happening . It ’s six o’clock , and [I]2959-i ’m sitting at the café across [the street]550-the street from [Miles Media]14-miles media . [I]2959-i ’m watching the media circus gather as [they]1810-they wait for [Jameson]186-jameson to leave [the building]361-the building . This embezzlement scandal is news . . . big news , and while the rest of [the world]249-the world is hanging on to the story , [I]2959-i ’ve been on the edge of tears all day . [I]2959-i do n’t know what to do or how to reach [him]186-jameson . [He]186-jameson ’s put [his]186-jameson defenses up , and with everything else going on for [him]186-jameson at the moment , [I]2959-i do n’t know how hard [I]2959-i can push without [him]186-jameson completely losing it . [I]2959-i do n’t want to stress [him]186-jameson out further , but [he]186-jameson needs [me]2959-i more than ever at the moment . [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i head into [my]2959-i hands . Why the hell did [I]2959-i go and meet [Jake]108-jay ? What the fuck was [I]2959-i thinking ? How was that ever a good idea ? [I]2959-i go over that night in [my]2959-i head , and [I]2959-i can hear [myself]2959-i lying straight out to [Jameson]186-jameson when [I]2959-i got [home]2289-home . . . why ? At the time , [I]2959-i thought [I]2959-i was protecting [him]186-jameson . [I]2959-i know better now . This is one big mess , and [I]2959-i have no idea how to fix it . [My]2959-i mind goes to the money that has been stolen from the accounts . [They]1814-they all think it ’s [Ferrara]2430-tristan , but why would [Ferrara]2430-tristan , [a man who already makes billions of dollars a year , risk it all to take down [a competitor]2649-a competitor]1815-a man who already makes billions of dollars a year , risk it all to take down a competitor ? It just does n’t make sense to [me]2959-i . In [my]2959-i eyes , [the person who has stolen the millions needs the millions]1815-a man who already makes billions of dollars a year , risk it all to take down a competitor . But who is it , and how the hell did [they]1814-they get access to [Jameson]186-jameson ’s banking details ? There ’s more to this case than meets the eye . [Molly]198-molly , [Aaron]0-aaron , and [I]2959-i are having a crisis breakfast meeting tomorrow , and hopefully together [we]1817-we can brainstorm a plan of action . [I]2959-i hear a flurry of excitement , and [I]2959-i look up to see [Jameson]186-jameson walk from [the building]361-the building , flanked by security as [the reporters clamber around [him]186-jameson]1819-the reporters clamber around him , shouting [his]186-jameson name and clicking photos . [He]186-jameson keeps [his]186-jameson head down and does n’t comment and then climbs into the back of [[his]186-jameson limo]1820-his limo . It pulls out from [the curb]549-the curb and whisks [him]186-jameson away into the night . . . and further away from [me]2959-i . An overwhelming sadness seeps into [my]2959-i bones . How can [I]2959-i help [him]186-jameson ? “ Okay , so here are the facts , ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly states . [We]1822-we ’re at breakfast trying to dissect [my]2959-i mess of a life . [I]2959-i ’m more zombie than human , having not slept for two nights . [I]2959-i ’m on [my]2959-i second coffee , and it ’s seven o’clock . “ [You]3228-you lied to [Jameson]186-jameson about where [you]3228-you were going and went out to dinner with [Jake]108-jay , ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly says . [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . “ [You]3228-you got [home]2289-home and then lied again to [Jameson]186-jameson about where [you]3228-you had been . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i blow out a deep breath . “ Correct . ”[2959-i] “ Now , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly continues , “ [Jameson]186-jameson ’s whole life is falling apart , and [he]186-jameson is being accused of a crime that [he]186-jameson did n’t do . ”[198-molly] “ Yes , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap before [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i coffee . “ [The entire world]3230-the entire world is watching , and [you]3228-you are [public enemy number one]3231-public enemy number one . ”[2959-i] “ How is this fucking helping [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . [Aaron]0-aaron and [Molly]198-molly make eye contact across the table . “ This does n’t look good , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron says . “ [I]2959-i know . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i head into [my]2959-i hands . “ [I]2959-i do n’t know how to help [him]186-jameson . [I]2959-i ’ve completely screwed everything up . [I]2959-i ’m the villain in this story , and [I]2959-i want to be [the hero]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] Silence falls across the table as [we]1823-we sip [our]1823-we coffees . [Aarons]218-aarons eyes light up . “ [I]218-aarons ’ve got it . ”[218-aarons] “ Huh ? ”[218-aarons] “ [I]2959-i know how [you]2959-i could be [the hero]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . “ How ? ”[2959-i] “ Solve the case . . . [you]2959-i ’re [a reporter]2566-a reporter ; [you]2959-i ’ve done this shit before . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sit up , suddenly interested . “ [Those private investigators]3233-those private investigators are obviously fucking useless ; [they]3233-those private investigators are doing nothing . ”[2959-i] “ That ’s true . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ But [I]2959-i do n’t know anything about computers . Where would [I]2959-i even start trying to track those transfers ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]198-molly do n’t know , but finding out where that money has gone [yourself]3234-you does seem like the only way [you]3234-you are getting [Jameson]186-jameson out of this . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly shrugs . “ [We]3235-we could help ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i think about it for a moment . Why could n’t [I]2959-i do this [myself]2959-i ? [I]2959-i ’ve cracked cases before — big cases too . “ [You]3234-you know what — [you’re]3234-you right . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i feel a fire start in [my]2959-i stomach . “ [I]198-molly am going to find out who ’s doing this . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly and [Aaron]0-aaron smile . “ And when [I]198-molly do”—I[198-molly] punch [my]2959-i hand into [my]2959-i fist—“they will wish [they]3236-they were fucking dead for messing with [[my]198-molly man]2829-my man . ”[198-molly] “ [Attagirl]219-attagirl . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly smiles . [She]198-molly and [Aaron]0-aaron high - five each other . [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i coffee , and for the first time in days , [I]2959-i feel hopeful . [I]2959-i hold [my]2959-i coffee cup up , and [we]1824-we all clink cups . “ To [Operation Hero]3238-operation hero . ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson [I]2959-i run down [the street]550-the street as fast as [I]2959-i can , [my]2959-i mind a clouded fog . With every step that [I]2959-i run . . . the better [I]2959-i feel . It ’s been three days since [I]2959-i ’ve seen [her]198-molly . . . three days incarcerated in hell . [I]2959-i ca n’t see [her]198-molly . [I]2959-i ca n’t put [myself]2959-i in that position ever again . [Nobody]2321-nobody is worth feeling this bad for . . . [nobody]2321-nobody . [I]2959-i turn [the corner]672-the corner and run past [a row of [restaurants]2621-restaurants]1829-a row of restaurants and get to [a park]1831-a park , and [I]2959-i see [a person]2585-a person up ahead in the darkness . [Their]2585-a person stance seems familiar , and [I]2959-i squint [my]2959-i eyes to try and see . As [I]2959-i run , a cold sense of realization hits [me]2959-i as to who it is . [Gabriel Ferrara]2430-tristan . [He]2430-tristan ’s on the phone and smoking a cigar as [he]2430-tristan leans on [his]2430-tristan black Ferrari . [He]2430-tristan has n’t seen [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i stop running and pant as [I]2959-i approach [him]2430-tristan . Fucking dog . [I]2959-i ’m furious that [he]2430-tristan put that photo of [Emily]186-jameson on the front page of [his]2430-tristan paper . It was a direct attack on [me]2959-i . . . and it hit the target . Turning , [he]2430-tristan sees [me]2959-i , and [his]2430-tristan face falls . “ [I]2430-tristan ’ve got to go . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan hangs up [his]2430-tristan call . “ Look what crawled out of the gutter , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pant . [He]2430-tristan smirks as [he]2430-tristan inhales on [his]2430-tristan cigar . “ Miles . ”[2430-tristan] [I]2959-i glare at [him]2430-tristan . “ How ’s [that girl of yours]3239-that girl of yours ? ”[2430-tristan] [he]2430-tristan asks with a wink . “ [You]3239-that girl of yours should put [her]3239-that girl of yours on a leash . ”[2430-tristan] [I]2959-i glare at [him]2430-tristan . [He]2430-tristan flicks [his]2430-tristan cigar at [me]2959-i ; [my]2959-i fury begins to bubble . [I]2959-i step forward . “ [You]3239-that girl of yours know [she]3239-that girl of yours made a move on [me]2959-i . Seems like [you]3239-that girl of yours ’ve lost [your]3239-that girl of yours edge with everything : the company , the bank accounts . Sex . How does it feel to have [[your]3239-that girl of yours woman]3240-your woman search for [someone who can satisfy [her]3240-your woman needs]3241-someone who can satisfy her needs ? ”[2959-i] All [I]2959-i can see is red . . . blinding anger . [I]2959-i lose control and punch [him]2430-tristan hard in the face , and then [I]2959-i hit [him]2430-tristan again and again in quick succession . [He]2430-tristan falls to the ground beside [[his]2430-tristan car]2417-his car , and [I]2959-i hear [someone]2326-someone yell , “ Call [the police]368-the police ! ”[2430-tristan] “ Fuck . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look down to [his]2430-tristan slumped body and the blood pouring from [his]2430-tristan nose . What have [I]2959-i done ? [I]2959-i turn and sprint as hard as [I]2959-i can into the darkness . [I]2959-i run down [a block]1835-a block and cut through [a park]1831-a park as [I]2959-i hear a police siren in the distance . Fuck . [I]2959-i run across [the street]550-the street , and [a car]2985-a car comes out of nowhere . Bright lights , [car]2985-a car horn , blurred vision . It hits [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i go flying into the air . Darkness . . . nothing . Chapter 22 [Emily]186-jameson On [my]2959-i laptop , [I]2959-i scroll through the information that [I]2959-i ’ve collected today . [I]2959-i have nothing to go on other than [Hayden]266-jim . [He]266-jim ’s [the only the person who has a shady past and [the only person [I]2959-i can think of who would double - cross [Miles Media]14-miles media]266-jim]266-jim . But selling shitty stories is a far cry from stealing millions of dollars from a global company . [I]2959-i do n’t think [he]266-jim ’s capable of something like this . So why is [my]2959-i gut telling [me]2959-i that [he]266-jim is somehow involved ? [I]2959-i check [my]2959-i phone . . . no messages . Please call [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i get a vision of [[my]2959-i Jameson]1839-my jameson all alone in [[his]266-jim big apartment]1840-his big apartment , and [my]2959-i heart aches . [I]2959-i ’ve decided that [I]2959-i ’m going over there tomorrow night and knocking the door down . [I]2959-i ca n’t give [him]266-jim the space that [he]266-jim needs . . . [I]2959-i need [him]266-jim . The door buzzes , and [I]2959-i jump up , excited . [Jameson]186-jameson . [I]2959-i run to [the telecom]1841-the telecom to see [two police officers on the screen]1842-two police officers on the screen . [I]2959-i push the button . “ Hello ? ”[2959-i] “ Is that [Emily Foster]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] “ Yes . ”[2959-i] “ Can [we]3243-we come up , please ? ”[2959-i] “ What ’s wrong ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . Oh [my]2959-i God , what ’s happened ? “ [We]3243-we need to talk to [you]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ Has something happened ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . “ Let [us]3243-we in , please . ”[2959-i] “ Okay . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i push the button with [my]2959-i heart pumping hard . Moments later [they]1842-two police officers on the screen knock on the door , and [I]2959-i open it in a rush . “ Hello . ”[2959-i] [Two solemn - looking police officers]1843-two solemn - looking police officers force a smile . “ Are [you]1843-two solemn - looking police officers [Emily Foster]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] “ Yes . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i heart begins to race . “ Can [we]3243-we talk to [you]1843-two solemn - looking police officers for a moment , please ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stand back . “ Yes , please come in . ”[2959-i] “ [We]3243-we would like to talk to [Jameson Miles]186-jameson , please . ”[1843-two solemn - looking police officers] [They]1843-two solemn - looking police officers look around [[my]2959-i apartment]385-new york and then turn [their]1843-two solemn - looking police officers attention back to [me]2959-i . “ Is [he]186-jameson [here]385-new york ? ”[1843-two solemn - looking police officers] “ No , [he]186-jameson is n’t . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i heart begin to pump harder in [my]2959-i chest . “ What ’s this about ? ”[2959-i] “ [He]186-jameson ’s wanted for questioning in regards to an assault earlier this evening . ”[1843-two solemn - looking police officers] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ [Gabriel Ferrara]2430-tristan was attacked tonight outside [a restaurant by [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles]3244-a restaurant by mr. miles . A warrant has been issued for [his]2430-tristan arrest . ”[2959-i] “ Is [he]2430-tristan all right ? ”[2959-i] “ [Mr. Ferrara]2430-tristan has significant facial injuries and has been taken to [the hospital]1306-the hospital . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i hand over [my]2959-i mouth in horror . “ What happened ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ [Mr. Ferrara]2430-tristan was getting into [a car]1349-a car when [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles approached [him]2430-tristan in the dark . A fight broke out , and [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles assaulted [him]2430-tristan . ”[2959-i] “ Where was this ? ”[2959-i] “ Out the front of [Bryant Park]40-bryant park , opposite [Lucina]220-lucina ’s . ”[2959-i] “ Oh [my]2959-i God , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Is [Jameson]186-jameson all right ? ”[2959-i] “ [Witnesses]3247-witnesses say [he]186-jameson ran off through [the park]40-bryant park . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes in relief . . . thank [God]0-aaron . “ [You]0-aaron have [the wrong person]3248-the wrong person , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . “ [Jameson]186-jameson would never attack [someone]2326-someone . [He]186-jameson ’s [the CEO of [a company]3250-a company]186-jameson , not [a pub brawler]3251-a pub brawler . ”[2959-i] That ’s a complete lie ; [I]2959-i know [Jameson]186-jameson would love to beat [Ferrara]2430-tristan to a pulp . . . “ [I]186-jameson do n’t know where [he]186-jameson is , ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i assert with renewed determination . “ Can [we]3252-we search [[your]3253-your apartment]2627-the apartment ? ”[1845-the policeman] [the policeman]1845-the policeman asks . “ Of course . [He]186-jameson ’s not here , though . ”[1845-the policeman] [I]2959-i stand back to allow [them]1846-them access . [The police]368-the police search [the apartment]2627-the apartment and come back to [me]2959-i in [the living area]765-the living area . [They]368-the police hand [me]2959-i a business card . “ As soon as [you]3254-you hear from [him]186-jameson , [you]3254-you need to call [us]3255-us . If [you]3254-you do n’t , [you]3254-you may be charged with obstruction of justice . Hiding [a person of interest from [authorities]3257-authorities]3256-a person of interest from authorities is a very serious offense . ”[368-the police] “ Okay . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i storm to the door and open it in a rush . “ Good night . ”[1850-the officers] [The officers]1850-the officers leave , and [I]2959-i close the door behind [them]1850-the officers with a slam . [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i two hands over [my]2959-i mouth in horror and dial the number . [Jameson]186-jameson ’s phone rings out . . . [he]186-jameson would n’t answer [my]2959-i call anyway . “ Damn it . ”[186-jameson] In a panic , [I]2959-i call [Tristan]2430-tristan . “ Hello . ”[186-jameson] “ [Tristan]2430-tristan , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . “ Do [you]3254-you know where [Jameson]186-jameson is ? ”[2959-i] “ What ’s wrong ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson says . “ [The police]368-the police were just [here]385-new york , and [Jameson]186-jameson apparently assaulted [Ferrara]2430-tristan . [They]368-the police ’ve issued a warrant for [his]186-jameson arrest . Do [you]3254-you know where [he]186-jameson is ? ”[186-jameson] “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ [He]186-jameson ’s not answering [my]2959-i calls , and [witnesses]3247-witnesses said [he]186-jameson ran off across [the park]40-bryant park . ”[2959-i] “ What the fuck ? ”[186-jameson] “ What do [I]2959-i do ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i ’ll try calling [him]186-jameson and call [you]1851-you back . ”[2959-i] “ Okay . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hang up and begin to pace . . . where are [you]1851-you ? Moments later [Tristan]2430-tristan calls back . “ [He]186-jameson ’s not answering . [I]2430-tristan ’ll come over . ”[2430-tristan] “ Thank [you]1851-you . ”[2430-tristan] An hour later [Tristan]2430-tristan and [I]2959-i walk through [Bryant Park]40-bryant park . [We]1852-we have n’t talked other than about finding [Jameson]186-jameson . [He]186-jameson ’s angry with [me]2959-i about [Jake]108-jay and obviously does n’t want to discuss it . [I]2959-i ’m angry with [me]2959-i . It ’s one o’clock in the morning , and now [I]2959-i ’m getting frantic . [My]2959-i eyes roam over [the park]40-bryant park in the darkness . “ Where could [he]186-jameson be ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [I]186-jameson do n’t know . Try calling [him]186-jameson again , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson says . [I]2959-i dial [his]186-jameson number and keep walking through [the darkened park]40-bryant park when [we]1852-we hear something . [Tristan]2430-tristan ’s eyes widen , and [he]186-jameson holds up [his]186-jameson hand . “ Shh , listen . ”[186-jameson] From the darkness , [we]1852-we can hear a faint ringtone . It goes silent , and [I]2959-i redial [his]186-jameson number . [We]1852-we both look around frantically , and then [we]1852-we see the white glow as the screen lights up . “ Here . ”[1852-we] [I]2959-i run over to the side and see a phone lying in the grass . [My]2959-i eyes widen in horror as [Tristan]2430-tristan picks it up . [He]2430-tristan swipes it on and puts in the code , and the screen lights up . [His]2430-tristan eyes rise to meet [mine]2959-i . “ It ’s [Jameson]186-jameson ’s phone . ”[2430-tristan] [We]1852-we both look up across [the darkened park]40-bryant park as a sense of fear sweeps through [me]2959-i . “ What the hell has happened to [him]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . It ’s four o’clock in the morning , and [Tristan]2430-tristan and [I]2959-i are frantic . [We]1852-we ’ve walked for hours . [Alan]246-alan , [Elliot]140-elliot , and [Christopher]141-christopher are all out looking for [Jameson]186-jameson . “ [He]186-jameson ’s probably just hiding out from [the police]368-the police [somewhere]3263-somewhere . [He]186-jameson ’ll be fine , ”[246-alan] [Tristan]2430-tristan tries to comfort [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i ’m in full - blown tears now ; there ’s no hiding [my]2959-i distress . “ This is all [my]2959-i fault , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [we]1852-we walk . “ If [I]2959-i did n’t go to that setup , none of this would have happened . ”[2959-i] “ What do [you]2959-i mean , setup ? ”[2959-i] “ [Jake]108-jay told [me]2959-i that [he]186-jameson had information on a story that [Ferrara]2430-tristan was publishing the next day about [Jameson]186-jameson and that [he]186-jameson would tell [me]2959-i out of work . [I]2959-i did n’t want to worry [Jameson]186-jameson , so [I]2959-i lied and went to meet [him]186-jameson . [He]186-jameson just wanted to get [me]2959-i alone , and [he]186-jameson kissed [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i slapped [him]186-jameson across the face and left , and then the next day . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . “ [You]186-jameson saw the pictures . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i frowns . “ So [you]186-jameson were n’t seeing [Jake]108-jay ? ”[2959-i] “ No , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ [I]2959-i ’m in love with fucking [Jameson]186-jameson , [[you]186-jameson idiot]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sob . “ And [he]2959-i wo n’t let [me]2959-i explain . ”[2959-i] “ Fucking hell , what a mess . ”[2959-i] [His]2959-i phone rings , and [he]2959-i quickly answers . “ Hello . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i listens . “ Yes . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i listens some more . “ Is [he]2959-i all right ? ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i gasps . [He]2959-i puts [his]2959-i hand over [his]2959-i chest . “ Thank God . ”[2959-i] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i mouth . “ Thank [you]186-jameson . [I]2959-i ’m on [my]2959-i way . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i hangs up . “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [Jameson]186-jameson is in [the hospital]1306-the hospital . ”[2959-i] “ What happened ? ”[2959-i] “ [He]2959-i was hit by [a car]1349-a car . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i hands fly over [my]2959-i mouth in horror . “ [He]2959-i ’s okay — just a concussion . ”[2959-i] “ Oh , thank God . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i ’m going to go get [him]2959-i . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i ’m coming , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i demand . “ [Em]186-jameson . . . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i pauses . “ [I]2959-i do n’t think that ’s a good idea . [The paps]3266-the paps will be everywhere after this Ferrara bullshit , and [Jameson]186-jameson does n’t need more publicity . Who knows what [reporters]2377-reporters are at [the hospital]1306-the hospital ? [Jameson]186-jameson specifically wants [you]3268-you kept out of the spotlight . Let [me]2959-i talk to [him]2959-i , and [I]2959-i ’ll call [you]3268-you when [we]3269-we get [home]2289-home . ”[2959-i] Hope blooms in [my]2959-i chest . Is [he]2959-i trying to protect [me]2959-i ? “ But [I]221-empathy did n’t do anything wrong , [Tristan]2430-tristan . [I]221-empathy want to see [him]2959-i . ”[221-empathy] [Empathy]221-empathy wins , and [he]2959-i takes [me]2959-i in [his]2959-i arms . “ Let [me]2959-i get [him]2959-i [home]2289-home safely , and [I]2959-i ’ll call [you]2430-tristan . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i pulls back and holds [me]2959-i by the arms as [he]2959-i studies [me]2959-i . “ [I]2959-i promise [I]2959-i ’ll call [you]2430-tristan . [I]2959-i ’ll drop [you]2430-tristan [home]2289-home and then sort [him]2959-i out , and then [I]2959-i ’ll call [you]2430-tristan . [You]2430-tristan have [my]2959-i word . ”[2959-i] [His]2959-i eyes search [mine]2959-i . “ Okay . ”[1853-we] [We]1853-we walk for a moment in silence . “ [I]2959-i ’m going to find out who stole the money if it ’s the last thing [I]2959-i do , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [Emily]186-jameson , that ’s a bad idea . Leave it to [the detectives]3271-the detectives . [You]186-jameson ’re tired and emotional . Let ’s get [you]186-jameson [home]2289-home . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i nod , knowing that [he]2959-i is right about everything and hating it even more . [Jameson]186-jameson [I]2959-i watch [the nurse]1308-the nurse take [my]2959-i pulse as [she]1308-the nurse holds [my]2959-i hand , and [I]2959-i inhale deeply . [She]1308-the nurse ’s older and motherly , the kind [you]1855-young man want looking after [you]1855-young man . “ How ’s the headache ? ”[1308-the nurse] [she]1308-the nurse asks . “ Still there . ”[1308-the nurse] [She]1308-the nurse smiles and gets [her]1308-the nurse flashlight and shines it in [my]2959-i eyes to inspect [[my]2959-i pupils]1856-my pupils . “ [You]1855-young man have a serious concussion . [You]1855-young man ’re very lucky to be alive , [young man]1855-young man . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hear chatter from outside , and [Tristan]2430-tristan appears at the door . “ Hey . ”[2430-tristan] “ Hi . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk at the worry on [his]2430-tristan face . [He]2430-tristan rushes to [my]2959-i side . “ Are [you]1855-young man all right ? ”[2430-tristan] “ [I]2430-tristan ’m fine . ”[2430-tristan] “ [He]2430-tristan is not fine , ”[1308-the nurse] [the nurse]1308-the nurse interrupts . “ [He]2430-tristan got hit by [a car]1349-a car . [He]2430-tristan could have been killed . As it is , [he]2430-tristan has a very serious concussion . ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan drags [his]2430-tristan hand down [his]2430-tristan face . “ [Jesus]107-jesus . ”[2430-tristan] “ [He]2430-tristan ’s staying in for the night , and as long as all [his]2430-tristan preliminary tests come back clear in the morning , [he]2430-tristan can go [home]2289-home . ”[2430-tristan] “ Okay . . . thanks . ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan slumps into a seat beside the bed . “ [I]1308-the nurse ’ll be back in an hour with some pain medication . ”[1308-the nurse] [She]1308-the nurse smiles . “ [I]2959-i do n’t need it , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply . “ [I]2959-i ’ll be back anyway . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes , and [she]1308-the nurse leaves [us]1858-we alone . “ Sorry , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Fucking hell , [Jay]108-jay , [we]1858-we ’ve been out of [our]1858-we head with worry . Searching for [you]108-jay all night . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i puff air into [my]2959-i cheeks . “ [The police]368-the police came to [Emily]186-jameson ’s , and then [she]186-jameson called [me]2959-i , and then [we]1858-we found [your]186-jameson phone in [Bryant Park]40-bryant park . ”[2959-i] “ [Emily]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ Why did [you]186-jameson involve [her]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] “ [She]186-jameson ’s frantic , [Jameson]186-jameson . [She]186-jameson wanted to help find [you]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . “ [I]2959-i seriously doubt that . ”[2959-i] “ [You]186-jameson know , [I]2959-i do n’t think [she]186-jameson is on with that fuckwit [Jake]108-jay . This was a misunderstanding . ”[2959-i] “ Shut up , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i dismiss [him]2959-i . “ No . [You]186-jameson shut up . Why wo n’t [you]186-jameson even talk to [her]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] “ Because [she]186-jameson lied to [me]2959-i . Straight to [my]2959-i face about seeing [another man]526-another man . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i watches [me]2959-i . “ And [I]2959-i do n’t need that fucking shit in [my]2959-i life . [I]2959-i have enough going on , if [you]186-jameson did n’t notice . ”[2959-i] “ [She]186-jameson wants to see [you]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ Yeah , well , [I]2959-i do n’t want to see [her]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ Then [you]186-jameson need to end it with [her]186-jameson ; [she]186-jameson ’s frantic . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i screw up [my]2959-i face in annoyance . “ Just fucking go [home]2289-home . [I]2959-i ’ll get [Alan]246-alan to pick [me]2959-i up tomorrow . ”[2959-i] “ Why wo n’t [you]186-jameson even talk about this ? ”[1308-the nurse] “ Because this is none of [your]186-jameson business . [Emily]186-jameson and [I]1308-the nurse are over . It was over the moment [she]1308-the nurse started lying to [me]1308-the nurse . ”[1308-the nurse] [The nurse]1308-the nurse reappears . “ [I]2959-i ’m tired , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i announce . [She]1308-the nurse smiles . “ Yes , okay . ”[1308-the nurse] [She]1308-the nurse turns [her]1308-the nurse attention to [Tristan]2430-tristan . “ [We]3278-we will call [you]2430-tristan in the morning when [he]2430-tristan ’s ready for release . ”[1308-the nurse] “ Yeah , okay , ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan replies . [His]2430-tristan eyes hold [mine]2430-tristan , and [I]2959-i know that [he]2430-tristan knows [I]2959-i ’m not tired at all . [The nurse]1308-the nurse goes into [the bathroom]300-the bathroom . “ And what am [I]2430-tristan supposed to tell [Emily]186-jameson ? [She]186-jameson ’s waiting for [my]2430-tristan call , ”[2430-tristan] [he]2430-tristan whispers angrily . “ [I]2430-tristan do n’t give a fuck what [you]2430-tristan tell [her]186-jameson — [she]186-jameson ’s not [my]2430-tristan problem . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan drags [his]2430-tristan hand down [his]2430-tristan face . “ [You]2430-tristan ’re [a selfish son of [a bitch]2519-a bitch]3279-a selfish son of a bitch sometimes . ”[2430-tristan] “ And [your]2430-tristan point is ? ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan stares at [me]2959-i for an extended time . “ See [you]2430-tristan tomorrow . ”[186-jameson] [Emily]186-jameson [My]2959-i phone dances across the coffee table , and [I]2959-i pick it up in a rush . “ [He]2430-tristan ’s okay . ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan sighs . “ Thank God . ”[2430-tristan] [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes in relief . “ Can [I]2959-i see [him]2430-tristan ? ”[2959-i] “ [He]2430-tristan has a bad concussion and is going to be in [the hospital]1306-the hospital for a few days . ”[2959-i] “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ [He]2430-tristan said it ’s best that [you]2430-tristan do n’t come down ; [he]2430-tristan does n’t want the media circus . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes fill with tears . Damn it . It feels like all [I]2959-i do is cry at the moment . “ [He]2430-tristan ’s sleeping now . ”[2959-i] “ Did [he]2430-tristan say anything ? About [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pause as [I]2959-i try to articulate [my]2959-i thoughts . “ How do [I]2959-i get through to [him]2430-tristan , [Tristan]2430-tristan ? ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i exhales heavily . “ [I]2959-i do n’t know . [He]2959-i ’s got a lot of shit going on , [Em]3282-em . [I]2959-i do n’t think [he]2959-i ’s thinking straight at the moment . [I]2959-i ’ll try and talk to [him]2959-i tomorrow . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i screw up [my]2959-i face in tears . “ Okay , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Can [you]0-aaron call [me]0-aaron . . . please ? ”[0-aaron] [God]0-aaron , [I]2959-i sound like [the world]249-the world ’s biggest loser , but [I]2959-i do n’t know what else to do . “ [I]2959-i ’m so worried about [him]1862-he , [Tristan]2430-tristan . ”[2959-i] “ [We]3283-we all are , [Em]186-jameson . [I]0-aaron ’ll call [you]2430-tristan tomorrow . Just try and get some sleep . ”[0-aaron] “ Okay , good night . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hang up and get into the shower , and tears of relief begin to fall . At least [he]1862-he ’s okay , and tomorrow is another day . [He]1862-he will come back to [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i know [he]1862-he will . [I]2959-i slide down in [my]2959-i chair as [I]2959-i peer across [the street]550-the street . [I]2959-i ’m on Operation Spies Like [Us]1864-us . [Hayden]266-jim is [my]2959-i stalking subject . [I]2959-i do n’t know why , but [I]2959-i ca n’t let this go with [him]1862-he . [I]2959-i called in sick to work . [I]2959-i figure this story may be the most important story of [my]2959-i entire career to crack . [I]2959-i still have n’t spoken to [Jameson]186-jameson , and with every day that passes , [I]2959-i lose a little more hope . It ’s seven o’clock in the evening . [I]2959-i ’m wearing a blonde wig and dark glasses , and [I]2959-i have even rented [a car]1349-a car . [I]2959-i ’ve been sitting [here]385-new york for eight hours , with no sign of stupid [Hayden]266-jim . [He]266-jim lives in [a busy part of [town]2456-town]1867-a busy part of town in [a nice apartment block]1869-a nice apartment block ; [the street]550-the street is bustling , and [people]248-people are everywhere . [I]2959-i have to concentrate on not missing anything . Damn it , come out already . [I]2959-i ’ve eaten all [my]2959-i snacks . [I]2959-i ’m hungry and dying to go to [the bathroom]300-the bathroom , but damn it , [I]2959-i want a lead or something . . . anything . . . throw [me]2959-i a bone here . [I]2959-i look down [the darkened street]550-the street and back up the other way . [God]0-aaron , [Hayden]266-jim ’s probably on [his]266-jim way to [Istanbul]41-istanbul by now . That ’s what [I]2959-i would do if [I]2959-i got fired from [my]2959-i job for stealing . Although apparently , [he]266-jim has no idea [he]266-jim ’s still being investigated . [He]266-jim thinks being fired is as far as it ’s going to go . [I]2959-i lie back in the chair and let out a deflated breath . [I]2959-i glance over [my]2959-i shoulder and see [Hayden]266-jim stopped and talking to [a woman on [the sidewalk]724-the sidewalk]1873-a woman on the sidewalk . Shit . [I]2959-i scoot down in the chair . [They]1875-they must be getting back from somewhere . [They]1875-they seem to be deep in a serious conversation , and [she]1873-a woman on the sidewalk has a large bag over [her]1873-a woman on the sidewalk shoulder . [I]2959-i take out [my]2959-i phone and snap a picture of [the two of [them]2419-the two of them]2419-the two of them . [I]2959-i zoom in and take a few shots . Who is [she]1873-a woman on the sidewalk ? Is that [[his]266-jim girlfriend]76-woman ? [I]2959-i text [Aaron]0-aaron and [Molly]198-molly in a group chat and send [them]2419-the two of them the picture . Do [you]1878-you know [this girl]76-woman ? [I]2959-i keep watching as [they]2419-the two of them continue to talk . For five minutes , [I]2959-i watch [them]2419-the two of them , and then [Molly]198-molly texts back . [I]2959-i ’ve seen [her]76-woman before , but [I]2959-i do n’t know where from ? Does [she]76-woman work in a café or something ? ? Hmm . [I]2959-i text back . [I]2959-i have no idea ? A text comes back from [Aaron]0-aaron . Yes , [she]76-woman used to work for [Miles Media]14-miles media . [My]2959-i eyes widen , and [I]2959-i text back . How long ago ? [He]0-aaron writes back . No idea , [I]2959-i have n’t seen [her]76-woman for a while though . Shit . [I]2959-i send the photo to [Tristan]2430-tristan and text [him]2430-tristan . [Tristan]2430-tristan , [this girl]76-woman apparently worked for [Miles Media]14-miles media , can [you]1879-you find out who [she]76-woman is from HR , please ? A reply immediately bounces back . Sure thing , are [you]1879-you okay ? [I]2959-i reply . Yes , [I]2959-i ’m on operation stakeout . [He]2430-tristan texts back . Do [you]1879-you want [me]2959-i to come and help [you]1879-you ? [I]2959-i smirk . [I]2959-i thought [you]1879-you thought this was a bad idea . [He]2430-tristan replies . [I]2959-i do , [I]2959-i do n’t want [you]1879-you in danger . [I]2959-i text back . No , can [you]1879-you just text [HR]80-hr for [me]2959-i now , please ? [He]2430-tristan replies . Ok . [I]2959-i wait and wait and wait , and finally a text comes back . [Her]1880-her name is [Lara Aspin]125-lara aspin . [HR]80-hr are searching for [her]1880-her job title in the morning , [I]2959-i ’ll keep [you]1879-you posted . [I]2959-i smile , excited that [I]2959-i at least have a little lead . [I]2959-i have no idea what it means , but [I]2959-i guess it ’s something . [I]2959-i text back . Thanks . [I]2959-i check [my]2959-i phone . . . no missed calls . [I]2959-i turn [the car]369-the car on and pull out into the traffic , and a sense of dread begins to hang over [me]2959-i . Nighttime is the worst ; [my]2959-i bed without [Jameson]186-jameson is cold . There ’s a void where [he]186-jameson ’s supposed to be . [My]2959-i heart is aching . [I]2959-i ’m losing hope for [us]1882-us . . . [I]2959-i miss [him]186-jameson . [I]2959-i lie on the couch and stare at the television . The cushion beneath [my]2959-i head is wet with tears . It ’s been three days since [Jameson]186-jameson was hit by [a car]1349-a car . Six days since [I]2959-i ’ve seen [him]186-jameson . . . [I]2959-i ca n’t eat . [I]2959-i ca n’t sleep . [I]2959-i ’m in hell . To make matters worse , [I]2959-i embarrassed [myself]2959-i last night by going to [[his]186-jameson apartment]361-the building and crying into the security camera , begging for [him]186-jameson to let [me]2959-i in . [He]186-jameson did n’t , and after half an hour [[his]186-jameson doorman]1885-his doorman ushered [me]2959-i out of [the building]361-the building . [I]2959-i ’m ashamed . [I]2959-i do n’t know what to do . . . [he]186-jameson wo n’t see [me]2959-i ; [he]186-jameson wo n’t speak to [me]2959-i . All the love and laughter [we]1886-we shared , reduced to nothing . It ’s like [I]2959-i never meant anything to [him]186-jameson . . . maybe [I]2959-i did n’t ? [I]2959-i knew [he]186-jameson had a reputation for being cold , but this . . . this coldness is next level . How could [he]186-jameson watch [me]2959-i on camera sob and beg and not even let [me]2959-i in ? [I]2959-i pick up [my]2959-i phone and text [him]186-jameson . [I]2959-i miss [you]186-jameson . [I]2959-i stare at [my]2959-i phone , and then [I]2959-i see the dots . [I]2959-i sit up . . . [he]186-jameson ’s typing something . [My]2959-i heart begins to race . This is the first time . [I]2959-i watch the dots roll as [I]2959-i wait . . . and then [they]1887-they stop . Wait . . . what ? Where is the text ? [I]2959-i wait . The dots start again , and [I]2959-i smile through tears . . . yes . [He]186-jameson ’s replying . [I]2959-i wait and wait . Then the dots stop once more . “ Send the text , damn it , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . [I]2959-i wait , and nothing comes through for half an hour . [My]2959-i anger starts to bubble . How dare [he]186-jameson not even acknowledge [me]2959-i ? Who the fuck does [this asshole]186-jameson think [he]186-jameson is ? [I]2959-i angrily text back . At least have the guts to say what [you]1888-you want to . A text immediately bounces back . Move on , [I]2959-i have . [I]2959-i read the message and then read the message again through tears . . . what ? Just like that . . . move on ? [Fucking asshole]186-jameson . [I]2959-i get up and throw [my]2959-i phone as hard as [I]2959-i can . The screen smashes on the coffee table . [I]2959-i ’m so fucking furious that [I]2959-i have absolutely no control of the situation . [I]2959-i storm into [the bathroom]300-the bathroom , [I]2959-i get under the shower , and , unable to help it , [I]2959-i cry . . . and cry . . . and cry . Howling sobs , and [my]2959-i chest is heaving hard as [I]2959-i hold [myself]2959-i up against the tiles . Tears of anger , tears of frustration , tears of heartbreak . [I]2959-i knew it was coming . . . deep down , all along , [I]2959-i knew it was coming , but holy fuck . . . it hurts . [Jameson]186-jameson [I]2959-i drop [my]2959-i shoulders in the back of [[my]2959-i limo]772-my limo as [I]2959-i steel [myself]2959-i for what [I]2959-i ’m about to do . “ Are [you]246-alan sure about this ? ”[246-alan] [Alan]246-alan asks as [he]246-alan opens the door . “ Yes . It is what it is ; [I]246-alan ’m not hiding any longer , ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i say as [I]2959-i climb out of [the car]369-the car . [I]2959-i look up at [the [New York]385-new york Police Department]1892-the new york police department sign above the door , and [I]2959-i walk through . [The policeman]1845-the policeman at the front desk smiles . “ Can [I]1845-the policeman help [you]1845-the policeman , [sir]1845-the policeman ? ”[1845-the policeman] “ Yes , [my]1845-the policeman name is [Jameson Miles]186-jameson , and [I]1845-the policeman would like to hand [myself]1845-the policeman in . ”[1845-the policeman] [The policeman]1845-the policeman ’s face falters . “ [You]1845-the policeman are wanted ? ”[1845-the policeman] “ [I]1845-the policeman was involved in a fistfight with [a man named [Gabriel Ferrara]2430-tristan]3284-a man named gabriel ferrara and then went to [the hospital]1306-the hospital . [I]1845-the policeman was unaware until late last night that [you]1845-the policeman were looking for [me]1845-the policeman . [My]1845-the policeman apologies for taking so long to get here . ”[1845-the policeman] [The policeman]1845-the policeman smiles . “ Thank [you]1845-the policeman for coming in . ”[1845-the policeman] [He]1845-the policeman opens a door at the side of reception . “ Please come this way . ”[1845-the policeman] Five hours later , [I]2959-i stand on the pavement outside [the Ferrara building]1894-the ferrara building and look up to [the top floors]1895-the top floors . [I]2959-i dial a number that [I]2959-i ’ve had for years but have never called . “ [Gabriel Ferrara]2430-tristan , ”[2959-i] the deep voice answers . “ It ’s [Jameson Miles]186-jameson . [I]2959-i ’m out in front of [[your]2430-tristan building]1894-the ferrara building . Get down here now . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hang up and inhale deeply . [I]2959-i lean [my]2959-i behind on [[my]2959-i limo]772-my limo . After having spent the last five hours in [the police station]2533-the police station , [I]2959-i am not in the mood to wait for [this prick]1898-this prick , but [I]2959-i need to say what [I]2959-i need to say , or it ’s going to keep festering inside of [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i told [the police]368-the police that [my]2959-i punch on [Ferrara]2430-tristan was self - defense and that [they]368-the police need to check the security footage . [I]2959-i ’m not sure if it will stick , but it will give [me]2959-i some time . [The police]368-the police were actually okay and told [me]2959-i that seeing [he]2430-tristan flicked the cigar at [me]2959-i first , [I]2959-i will probably only be charged with common assault and given a good behavior bond . That , [I]2959-i can deal with . [Gabriel Ferrara]2430-tristan appears through the front door , flanked by [four security guards]1900-four security guards . [His]2430-tristan eye is black and [his]2430-tristan cheekbone swollen . [I]2959-i smirk as [I]2959-i see [his]2430-tristan fucked - up face . “ [You]2430-tristan look like shit . ”[2959-i] “ Yeah , well , [a madman]3286-a madman attacked [me]2430-tristan , ”[2430-tristan] [he]2430-tristan mutters dryly . [I]2959-i step forward as [my]2959-i anger resurfaces . “ [I]2430-tristan know what [you]2430-tristan ’re doing . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan glares at [me]2959-i . “ [You]2430-tristan do n’t scare [me]2430-tristan . It ’s laughable how underhanded [you]2430-tristan have become . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan rolls [his]2430-tristan eyes . “ Fuck off , [Miles]186-jameson . ”[2430-tristan] “ If [you]2430-tristan think that underhanded criminal behavior can take down [Miles Media]14-miles media , [you]2430-tristan can think again , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sneer . [He]2430-tristan narrows [his]2430-tristan eyes . “ [Miles Media]68-miles media has been [the market leader for thirty years]68-miles media , and [we]3287-we will continue to dominate . Tell [me]2430-tristan , does [[your]2430-tristan father]3288-your father know what [you]2430-tristan ’ve stooped to ? ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan lifts [his]2430-tristan chin in defiance . “ Criminal behavior — what the hell are [you]2430-tristan talking about ? That hit and run has left [you]2430-tristan delusional . ”[2430-tristan] “ [You]2430-tristan know exactly what [I]1901-i ’m talking about . ”[1901-i] [We]1901-i glare at each other ; hate hangs in the air like poisonous pollution . “ [I]2959-i know what [you]2430-tristan ’re doing , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [His]2430-tristan eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ And as soon as [I]2430-tristan prove it , [I]2430-tristan ’m going to fry [your]2430-tristan fucking ass in court . ”[2430-tristan] “ [I]2959-i ’d like to see [you]2430-tristan try . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [him]2430-tristan as [I]2959-i remember how good it felt to hit [this fucker]1902-this fucker . “ Is [your]2430-tristan cheekbone broken ? ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan glares at [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i know it is . “ Let [me]2959-i tell [you]2430-tristan this — disrespect [Emily Foster]186-jameson again , and next time . . . [I]2959-i wo n’t just break [your]2430-tristan cheekbone . [I]2959-i will kill [you]2430-tristan , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sneer . [He]2430-tristan raises [his]2430-tristan eyebrow as if surprised by [my]2959-i statement . “ Is that a threat , [Miles]68-miles media ? ”[2430-tristan] “ That ’s a fucking promise , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i growl . “ Leave [her]1906-that asshole down out of this . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i turn and get into [[my]2959-i limo]772-my limo , and [we]1904-we pull away . [I]2959-i watch [Gabriel Ferrara]2430-tristan storm back into [the building]361-the building , flanked by [his]2430-tristan security . The day [I]2959-i bring [that asshole down]1906-that asshole down is going to be a sweet victory . [I]2959-i run down [the street]550-the street in the dark . It ’s just midnight . [I]2959-i have n’t been [here]385-new york in a while , and for some reason , tonight [I]2959-i need to be . [[Emily]186-jameson ’s apartment building]361-the building . [I]2959-i count the windows until [I]2959-i get to [[her]186-jameson apartment]361-the building , and [I]2959-i stare up at it . What ’s [she]186-jameson doing ? Is [she]186-jameson missing [me]2959-i as much as [I]2959-i ’m missing [her]186-jameson ? [I]2959-i get a vision of ringing the doorbell and asking to come up , and [we]1909-we would hug , and [I]2959-i would feel happy . . . like [I]2959-i used to . But then [I]2959-i remember the hurt [I]2959-i felt last week when [she]186-jameson lied to [me]2959-i , the out - of - control feeling that [I]2959-i have whenever [I]2959-i ’m with [her]186-jameson . The way [[my]2959-i enemies]1910-my enemies are using [her]186-jameson to get to [me]2959-i , the way [she]186-jameson ’s handing [them]1910-my enemies the ammunition like candy . And [I]2959-i know that nothing could bring [me]2959-i undone . . . except [her]186-jameson . [She]186-jameson ’s [my]2959-i only weakness . And weakness is something that [I]2959-i ca n’t afford to have . Not now , not ever . [I]2959-i stare up at [[her]186-jameson apartment]1905-her apartment for a long time , and then with a heavy heart , [I]2959-i turn and begin the depressing run [home]2289-home . [I]2959-i ’ve never been so alone . [Emily]186-jameson [I]2959-i stare at the coffee in front of [me]2959-i ; the thought of drinking it turns [my]2959-i stomach . It ’s been four days since [I]2959-i got the dreaded four - word text from [Jameson]186-jameson . Move on , [I]2959-i have . Four days is a long time to walk around with a broken heart . . . it ’s weak and barely clinging to life . [I]2959-i keep hoping and praying that [he]186-jameson ’s going to come back with a grand gesture and hold [his]186-jameson arms out , and [I]2959-i run into them , and this nightmare will all be forgotten . If only that were true . [My]2959-i mind is clouded with memories of [the man [I]2959-i thought [I]2959-i knew]1913-the man i thought i knew . The hole in [my]2959-i life seems so large , and [I]2959-i just do n’t understand how [you]1914-you can fall so hard in love with [someone]2326-someone in such a short period of time . [I]2959-i should have stayed with [Robbie]56-robbie , because in hindsight , [Robbie]56-robbie was safe . There was never a chance of [him]56-robbie hurting [me]2959-i this deeply . . . but then , [I]2959-i would n’t have met [Jameson]186-jameson and found out what it was like to have this all - consuming love inside of [me]2959-i . No matter how it ended , [I]2959-i would n’t trade that feeling for anything . Even if it was only [mine]2959-i for just a little while . The only thing keeping [me]2959-i going at the moment is [Molly]198-molly and [Aaron]0-aaron . [They]1916-they ’ve been wonderful . Cheering [me]2959-i on from the sidelines , reminding [me]2959-i of why [I]2959-i came to [New York]385-new york in the first place . It would be so easy to run [home]2289-home right now with [my]2959-i tail between [my]2959-i legs . “ Are [you]3289-a self - absorbed fucking asshole going to eat the rest of that ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly gestures to [my]2959-i half - eaten sandwich . [I]2959-i crinkle up [my]2959-i nose . “ No , do [you]3289-a self - absorbed fucking asshole want it ? ”[2959-i] “ Just forget [you]3289-a self - absorbed fucking asshole ever met [him]3289-a self - absorbed fucking asshole , [Em]186-jameson . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron sighs . “ [No man]3290-no man is worth this heartache . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i force out a weak smile . “ [He]3289-a self - absorbed fucking asshole ’ll come back , [Aaron]0-aaron . [I]2959-i know [he]3289-a self - absorbed fucking asshole will . ”[2959-i] “ [You]3289-a self - absorbed fucking asshole know [you]3289-a self - absorbed fucking asshole keep saying that , [Em]186-jameson , but where is [the fucking asshole]186-jameson ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly replies . “ [He]3289-a self - absorbed fucking asshole ’s just . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug as [I]2959-i try to articulate [my]2959-i thoughts . “ Lost at the moment . ”[2959-i] “ No , what [he]3289-a self - absorbed fucking asshole is is [a self - absorbed fucking asshole]3289-a self - absorbed fucking asshole , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly huffs . “ Good riddance , [I]198-molly say ; [you]198-molly dodged a bullet . ”[198-molly] There is absolutely no love lost between [Aaron]0-aaron and [Molly]198-molly as far as [Jameson]186-jameson is concerned . “ Maybe . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sigh sadly . “ Come on ; [we]1918-we have to get back . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron stands . “ Lunch break is over . ”[0-aaron] [We]1918-we make [our]1918-we way back out onto [the street]550-the street and are walking toward [the Miles Media building]521-the miles media building when [Molly]198-molly stops on the spot . “ Fuck , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly whispers . “ What ? ”[198-molly] “ Look . ”[1918-we] [We]1918-we all glance up and see [Jameson]186-jameson walking down toward [us]1918-we with [a woman]339-a woman . [He]186-jameson ’s in [his]186-jameson customary navy suit and looking all immaculate , and [they]1922-they are deep in conversation . “ [He]186-jameson ’s at work today ? ”[1922-they] [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i stare at [him]186-jameson . [I]2959-i did n’t even know [he]186-jameson came back to work yet . [He]186-jameson has n’t seen [us]1918-we and is talking as [he]186-jameson walks . “ Who ’s [the woman]198-molly ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . [She]198-molly looks familiar , but [I]2959-i ca n’t place [her]198-molly . [Molly]198-molly grabs [my]2959-i arm with a sense of urgency . “ Come on ; let ’s go this way . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly tries to pull [me]2959-i into [a shop]2309-a shop . “ Who ’s [the woman]198-molly ? ”[198-molly] [I]2959-i repeat as [they]1924-they get closer . “ [Claudia Mason]57-claudia . ”[2959-i] The air leaves [my]2959-i lungs . . . [[his]186-jameson ex]1395-his ex . [He]186-jameson ’s with [[his]186-jameson ex]1395-his ex ? [I]2959-i begin to hear [my]2959-i heartbeat in [my]2959-i ears as the ground sways beneath [me]2959-i . “ Let ’s go ; [we]1926-us do n’t want [him]186-jameson to see [us]1926-us , ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly urges as [she]198-molly grabs [my]2959-i arm once more . [I]2959-i pull out of [her]198-molly grip and stand strong . As [he]186-jameson gets to [us]1926-us , [he]186-jameson glances up and sees [me]2959-i . [His]186-jameson step falters , and then [he]186-jameson clenches [his]186-jameson jaw and does n’t make eye contact . Tears well in [my]2959-i eyes as [I]2959-i watch [him]186-jameson walk past . [He]186-jameson stops with [his]186-jameson back to [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i hold [my]2959-i breath . Turn around . . . turn around . After a moment , [he]186-jameson falls back into stride beside [the woman]198-molly and disappears up [the street]1870-the street without looking back . A searing pain lurches through [my]2959-i chest as [I]2959-i fight tears . [I]2959-i drop [my]2959-i head in sadness . There ’s [my]2959-i answer . That ’s it . . . [we]1928-we ’re done . It ’s Friday night , and [I]2959-i slide down in the seat of [[my]2959-i rental car]1929-my rental car as [I]2959-i peer across [the darkened street]1870-the street . [I]2959-i ’ve completely throw [myself]2959-i into solving the case , if not for any reason other than to distract [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i ’m outside [[Hayden]266-jim ’s apartment]385-new york , and [I]2959-i know that [I]2959-i ’m probably clutching at straws by being [here]385-new york , but what else am [I]2959-i going to do ? Crying and staring at the wall is getting old . A text comes through on [my]2959-i phone , and [I]2959-i glance down and see the letter J. [I]2959-i read the text and nearly drop the phone in shock . One last stop over . [JFK Airport]42-jfk airport . Sat , 8 pm . [JFK Clubhouse Bar]43-jfk clubhouse bar . [I]2959-i need to see [you]1931-he . J xxx [I]2959-i sit up . What ? [He]1931-he needs to see [me]2959-i . . . [he]1931-he needs to see [me]2959-i ? [Hope]222-hope blooms in [my]2959-i chest . Oh [[my]2959-i God]2363-my god . [I]2959-i immediately call [Molly]198-molly . “ Hello , ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly answers . “ [Jameson]186-jameson just texted [me]2959-i . [He]1931-he wants to meet tomorrow night ! ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i blurt out in a rush . “ What ? ”[198-molly] [she]198-molly snaps . “ Did [you]1931-he tell [him]1931-he to go fuck [himself]1931-he ? ”[198-molly] “ No . ”[198-molly] “ Why not ? ”[198-molly] “ Because . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i try to think of a perfect explanation . “ Maybe seeing [Claudia]57-claudia snapped [him]1931-he out of this , and [I]2959-i want to see [him]1931-he too , [Moll]198-molly . This is what [I]2959-i ’ve been wanting all along . ”[2959-i] “ Oh God , can [you]1931-he hear [yourself]1931-he ? Why would [you]1931-he want to see [him]1931-he ? [He]1931-he ’s been a complete douchebag . ”[198-molly] “ [I]2959-i know , but [he]1931-he ’s been under so much stress , [Molly]198-molly . [I]2959-i just need to talk to [him]1931-he . ”[2959-i] “ For the record , [I]1933-she think this is a bad idea . ”[1933-she] [She]1933-she sighs . [I]2959-i smile . [She]1933-she ’s wrong . . . this is a great idea . [I]2959-i text [him]1933-she back . See [you]1933-she there . x [I]2959-i smile goofily out the windshield and look over to see [Hayden]266-jim talking to [that same girl who used to work at [Miles Media]14-miles media]1934-that same girl who used to work at miles media . [Lara Aspin]125-lara aspin . . . something is up with [her]1933-she too . [I]2959-i want to know more about [her]1933-she ; so far , [I]2959-i ’ve been unable to dig up anything , not even an address . [She]1933-she finishes [her]1933-she conversation with [Hayden]266-jim and begins to walk down [the street]724-the sidewalk . [My]2959-i eyes flick between [her]1933-she and [Hayden]266-jim . Shit , what do [I]2959-i do ? [I]2959-i watch [Hayden]266-jim disappear into [[his]266-jim building]1160-his building . Well , [I]2959-i already know where [Hayden]266-jim lives . If [I]2959-i let [her]1933-she go , [I]2959-i may never find [her]1933-she again . [I]2959-i really do need to know where [she]1933-she lives . [I]2959-i watch [her]1933-she as [she]1933-she walks down [the street]724-the sidewalk . Damn it . [I]2959-i jump out of [the car]369-the car and cross [the street]724-the sidewalk and fall in behind [her]1933-she on [the sidewalk]724-the sidewalk . [She]1933-she walks down [the subway stairs]1938-the subway stairs , and [I]2959-i hesitate . It ’s dark , and [God]0-aaron knows where [she]1933-she ’s going . . . shit . [I]2959-i watch [her]1933-she disappear down [the stairs]1938-the subway stairs , and [I]2959-i brace [myself]2959-i . Damn it . [I]2959-i have to follow [her]1933-she . [We]1939-we wait on [the platform]1940-the platform for a while , and then [she]1933-she gets onto [a train]1941-the train , and [I]2959-i get on after [her]1933-she . [I]2959-i stand by the doors and stare out the window while [I]2959-i keep [her]1933-she in [my]2959-i peripheral vision . Adrenaline is surging through [my]2959-i body , and [I]2959-i have to admit , this is actually kind of fun . [I]2959-i should have been [a cop]1942-a cop . [We]1939-we go four stops , and then [she]1933-she gets up and stands by the door . [The stop]1943-the stop is [Central Station]44-central station , and [I]2959-i let out a sigh of relief — at least it ’s safe there . [We]1939-we get off [the train]1941-the train , and [I]2959-i drop back so [she]1933-she does n’t get suspicious . [We]1939-we walk , and [we]1939-we walk , and [we]1939-we walk . . . damn it , where is [she]1933-she going ? [She]1933-she disappears into a crowd , and [I]2959-i jump up to see if [I]2959-i can see [her]1933-she . [I]2959-i walk farther , and [I]2959-i ca n’t see [her]1933-she . [She]1933-she ’s disappeared into thin air . Damn it . [I]2959-i turn and look back down [the street]550-the street [we]1939-we just came from . Where did [she]1933-she go ? [I]2959-i walk back a little way , and then [I]2959-i catch sight of [her]1933-she in [a shop]2309-a shop . Thank God . [I]2959-i duck in and then notice it ’s a pawnshop . [I]2959-i pretend to look at something in the back as [she]1933-she talks to [the man on the desk]1946-the man on the desk . “ Well , it ’s not worth much , ”[1946-the man on the desk] [he]1946-the man on the desk says . “ [I]1933-she would like five hundred dollars for it . It ’s in perfect working order , ”[1933-she] [she]1933-she replies . “ [You]3291-you ’re dreaming . No way . ”[1933-she] [I]2959-i peer through a gap in a bookcase and see a MacBook . Shit . . . [she]1933-she ’s selling [her]1933-she computer . Why would [she]1933-she be selling a computer ? [My]2959-i mind begins to race as [the two of [them]2419-the two of them]2419-the two of them haggle over the price . [The shop attendant]1948-the shop attendant wins in the end , and [he]1948-the shop attendant hands over two hundred dollars . [I]2959-i watch [her]1933-she disappear out the door , and [I]2959-i wait for a moment and go to the desk . “ Hello . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile casually . “ Hey , ”[2959-i] [the overweight pawnshop man]1946-the man on the desk mutters as [he]1946-the man on the desk counts [his]1946-the man on the desk till up . This may just be the craziest thing [I]2959-i ’ve ever done , and [I]2959-i ’ve done some pretty crazy things in [my]2959-i life . “ [I]1946-the man on the desk would like to buy that computer , please . ”[1946-the man on the desk] [He]1946-the man on the desk frowns as [he]1946-the man on the desk glances up . “ What one ? ”[1946-the man on the desk] [I]2959-i point to the one [she]1933-she just sold [him]1946-the man on the desk . “ Nah , [I]2959-i have n’t cleaned it up yet . Go to the cabinet on the left , and find another one . ”[2959-i] “ No , it has to be that one . ”[1946-the man on the desk] “ Not for sale yet . Come back in two days . ”[2959-i] If [I]2959-i come back in two days , it will be wiped . “ Name [your]1946-the man on the desk price , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i assert , feeling brave . [He]1946-the man on the desk stills , and [his]1946-the man on the desk eyes come to [mine]2959-i . “ A thousand dollars . ”[1946-the man on the desk] [He]1946-the man on the desk raises an eyebrow in a silent dare . “ [You]1946-the man on the desk just paid two hundred for it — are [you]1946-the man on the desk crazy ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . [He]1946-the man on the desk shrugs and goes back to what [he]1946-the man on the desk ’s doing . [I]2959-i stare at the computer on the desk , and [I]2959-i do n’t know why , but [my]2959-i gut is telling [me]2959-i to buy it . “ Damn it , okay , fine . As it is , right now , for a thousand dollars . ”[1946-the man on the desk] [He]1946-the man on the desk smiles a slimy grin . “ Okay , honey . ”[1946-the man on the desk] [I]2959-i hand [him]1946-the man on the desk over [[my]2959-i mother]76-woman ’s credit card , the one [I]2959-i have for emergencies . . . sorry , [Mom]70-mom . [I]2959-i pay the thousand dollars and take the computer and walk out the front door . [My]2959-i phone rings . [Tristan]2430-tristan ’s name lights up the screen . Perfect timing . “ Hello , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i answer . “ Sorry [I]1946-the man on the desk took so long to get back to [you]70-mom . [That girl]76-woman ’s name is [Lara Aspin]125-lara aspin , and get this — [she]76-woman used to work in accounts , ”[1946-the man on the desk] [he]1946-the man on the desk blurts out . “ What does that mean ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ [She]76-woman had access to the bank account details . ”[2959-i] “ Oh [my]2959-i God , [Tristan]2430-tristan , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper as [I]2959-i look around guiltily . “ [I]2959-i just followed [her]76-woman on [the train]1941-the train , and [she]76-woman sold [her]76-woman computer to a pawnshop , and [I]2959-i know this is crazy , but [I]2959-i just bought it for a thousand dollars . ”[2959-i] “ What ? [You]3293-you have it ? [You]3293-you actually have [her]76-woman computer ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile proudly . “ Uh - huh . ”[2959-i] “ Where are [you]3293-you ? [I]2959-i ’m coming to get [you]3293-you now . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i walk through [the airport]254-the airport with [my]2959-i heart in [my]2959-i throat . [I]2959-i ’m pulling [my]2959-i small carry - on suitcase so that [I]2959-i look the part of [a tired traveler]1951-a tired traveler . . . or perhaps [I]2959-i ’m just trying to pretend to [myself]2959-i that this is n’t a bad idea . Because [I]2959-i know it is ; deep in [my]2959-i gut [I]2959-i know that [I]2959-i should n’t be playing this dangerous game with [him]1952-him . [I]2959-i should be sitting down and having a civilized grown - up conversation . But desperation has brought out [my]2959-i weakness , and [I]2959-i ’m hoping that tonight [Jameson]186-jameson and [I]2959-i can talk . . . and [he]186-jameson can apologize and beg for [me]2959-i to come back , and then [I]2959-i can punish [him]186-jameson , and [we]1953-we can begin to get back on track . [I]2959-i have n’t seen [Claudia]57-claudia again , so [I]2959-i have no idea what is going on with [her]57-claudia , but the fact that [Jameson]186-jameson wanted to see [me]2959-i tonight tells [me]2959-i that it ’s nothing . [I]2959-i hope it ’s nothing . . . God , [I]2959-i hope it ’s nothing . . . stop it . [I]2959-i duck into [the bathroom]300-the bathroom to give [myself]2959-i one last pep talk . [I]2959-i reapply [my]2959-i red lipstick , [Jameson]186-jameson ’s personal favorite , and [I]2959-i stare at [my]2959-i reflection in the mirror . [My]2959-i long dark hair is out and wavy . [I]2959-i wanted to wear a dress but did n’t want to seem too eager , so [I]2959-i finally decided to wear black fitted capri pants and a black silk shirt with the top button strategically undone . [My]2959-i black lace bra is just peeking through if [I]2959-i move the right way . [I]2959-i ’m wearing [his]186-jameson favorite fragrance and think [I]2959-i look sexy without trying to be sexy . . . is that even a thing ? [God]0-aaron knows . [I]2959-i guess [I]2959-i ’ll soon find out . Do n’t be needy . . . do n’t be whiny . . . and do n’t be overdramatic , [I]2959-i remind [myself]2959-i . Be sexy and alluring . . . like [I]2959-i was when [we]1955-we first met . Right , [I]2959-i can do this . [I]2959-i drop [my]2959-i shoulders , take a deep breath , and steel [myself]2959-i for the night ahead . This is literally a make - or - break situation . [I]2959-i need to remind [him]186-jameson why [he]186-jameson fell in love with [me]2959-i in the first place . . . how the hell has [he]186-jameson forgotten ? That in itself is an issue . . . [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes in disgust . Stop overthinking this . [I]2959-i walk down [the corridor]609-the corridor and into [the Clubhouse Bar]45-the clubhouse bar . It ’s busy and bustling . [I]2959-i walk in and take a seat in the corner at a bench - seat table for two . If [he]186-jameson wants to see [me]2959-i , then [he]186-jameson can find [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i ’m on a stopover and totally oblivious to anything around [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i take out [my]2959-i laptop and open [my]2959-i emails . “ Can [I]717-the waiter get [you]717-the waiter a drink ? ”[717-the waiter] [the waiter]717-the waiter asks as [he]717-the waiter approaches [my]2959-i table . “ Yes , please . ”[717-the waiter] [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i hand [him]717-the waiter [my]2959-i credit card . “ A top - shelf margarita , please . ”[717-the waiter] [He]717-the waiter smiles and , with a cheeky wink , walks away . Damn it , that [Jameson Miles]186-jameson has spoiled [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i seem to have an addiction to top - shelf shit , and it just rolls off [my]2959-i tongue a little too easy now . [I]2959-i turn [my]2959-i attention back to read [my]2959-i emails and pretend that [they]1958-they ’re fascinating . [They]1958-they ’re not . And what [I]2959-i really want to be doing is giving this place the once - over with an eagle eye . . . is [he]717-the waiter [here]385-new york ? [The waiter]717-the waiter returns with [my]2959-i drink . “ Here [you]3294-you are , a top - shelf margarita . ”[717-the waiter] [He]717-the waiter places it down onto the table . “ And [the gentleman at the bar]3295-the gentleman at the bar asked that [I]717-the waiter deliver these to [you]3294-you . ”[717-the waiter] [He]717-the waiter places a large bowl of strawberries and a dipping bowl of hot chocolate on the table . [My]2959-i eyes rise to where [he]717-the waiter gestures , and [I]2959-i see [Jameson]186-jameson sitting at [the bar]459-the bar . [He]717-the waiter ’s wearing dark denim jeans and a white shirt that [I]2959-i bought [him]717-the waiter . [His]717-the waiter dark hair is messed to perfection . [Our]1961-our eyes lock , and [he]717-the waiter raises [his]717-the waiter glass and then takes a sip . [My]2959-i stomach rolls in excitement . [He]717-the waiter has n’t looked at [me]2959-i like that in a long time . “ Thank [you]717-the waiter , ”[717-the waiter] [I]2959-i reply to [the waiter]717-the waiter , completely distracted by [the beautiful specimen at the bar]1963-the beautiful specimen at the bar . [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i margarita as [I]2959-i try to keep the goofy smile from [my]2959-i face , and [I]2959-i turn back to [my]2959-i emails to act uninterested . Strawberries with hot chocolate ; there ’s no way to eat them without slurping them up and looking like an animal . [I]2959-i smirk . . . maybe that ’s what [he]717-the waiter wants ? Game on . With [my]2959-i eyes locked onto [my]2959-i computer screen , [I]2959-i pick up a strawberry and dip it into the hot chocolate and lick it and then place it seductively in [my]2959-i mouth . [I]2959-i suck the chocolate and rub it back and forth over [my]2959-i lips . [I]2959-i take a sip of [my]2959-i margarita and then repeat the move . [I]2959-i smile to [myself]2959-i . . . what the actual hell am [I]2959-i doing ? [I]2959-i ’m in [an airport bar]1964-an airport bar when [I]2959-i ’m not flying anywhere , pretending not to know [someone]2326-someone while [he]2326-someone watches [me]2959-i go down on a fucking strawberry . This really is beyond bizarre . If [Molly]198-molly and [Aaron]0-aaron could only see [me]2959-i now . [The waiter]717-the waiter arrives with another margarita . “ Compliments from [[your]0-aaron friend]3296-your friend at [the bar]459-the bar . ”[717-the waiter] “ Thank [you]0-aaron . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i keep [my]2959-i eyes down as [I]2959-i play the game and refuse to look at [him]717-the waiter . Ten minutes later , [I]2959-i take the final sip of [my]2959-i margarita and allow [my]2959-i eyes to drift to [the man at [the bar]459-the bar]1967-the man at the bar ; [his]1967-the man at the bar dark eyes are on [me]2959-i , and heat blazes between [us]1969-us . [I]2959-i know that look . . . [I]2959-i ’m going to fuck [you]1970-you . . . so damn good . [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i arousal begin to thump , and with [my]2959-i eyes locked on [his]1967-the man at the bar , [I]2959-i pick up a strawberry and lick it . [He]1967-the man at the bar stands as if summoned by [my]2959-i tongue . With [our]1969-us eyes locked , [I]2959-i suck , and [he]1967-the man at the bar walks toward [my]2959-i table . “ Mind if [I]1967-the man at the bar take a seat ? ”[1967-the man at the bar] [his]1967-the man at the bar deep , sexy voice purrs . “ Not at all . ”[1967-the man at the bar] [My]2959-i eyes drop to the bulge in [his]1967-the man at the bar pants , and [I]2959-i raise [my]2959-i eyebrow . “ Do n’t [judge]3297-judge . ”[1967-the man at the bar] [He]1967-the man at the bar smiles as [he]1967-the man at the bar falls into the bench seat beside [me]2959-i . “ [I]1967-the man at the bar just watched the best damn strawberry porn that [I]1967-the man at the bar ’ve ever seen . ”[1967-the man at the bar] “ Really ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk . [I]2959-i feel the heat from [his]1967-the man at the bar close proximity , and [I]2959-i have to fight not to lean toward [him]1967-the man at the bar . [He]1967-the man at the bar holds out [his]1967-the man at the bar hand . “ [I]1967-the man at the bar ’m [Jim]266-jim . ”[1967-the man at the bar] [My]2959-i heart free - falls from [my]2959-i chest , exactly like the first time . [I]2959-i take [his]1967-the man at the bar hand , and electricity shoots up [my]2959-i arm like an electric shock . “ Hi , [Jim]266-jim . [I]2959-i ’m [Emily]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] So [we]1971-we ’re playing that game , are [we]1971-we ? Pretending [we]1971-we do n’t know [each other]2339-each other . This really is like a stopover do - over . [I]2959-i ’ll do whatever it takes to break the ice between [us]1971-we . With [his]1967-the man at the bar elbows resting on the table , [he]1967-the man at the bar steeples [his]1967-the man at the bar hands under [his]1967-the man at the bar chin . [His]1967-the man at the bar eyes dance with mischief . “ Where are [you]1967-the man at the bar flying to , [Emily]186-jameson ? ”[1967-the man at the bar] “ [London]6-london . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i drink . “ [You]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] “ Dubai . [My]1967-the man at the bar flight ’s been delayed . ”[1967-the man at the bar] “ [Mine]1967-the man at the bar too . ”[1967-the man at the bar] With locked eyes , [we]1971-we both sip [our]1971-we drinks . The air is electric , and regardless of the love that [I]2959-i have for [this man]56-robbie , there is no denying that the sexual chemistry [we]1971-we have is out of [this world]1191-this world . “ Thanks for the drink . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile softly . “ [You]186-jameson ’re welcome . ”[1967-the man at the bar] [His]1967-the man at the bar eyes are dark and hooded , and [I]2959-i can feel [his]1967-the man at the bar arousal from here . “ What do [you]186-jameson do for a living ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ [I]1967-the man at the bar ’m a tour guide , ”[1967-the man at the bar] [he]1967-the man at the bar replies without hesitation . “ Really ? What kind of tours do [you]186-jameson run ? ”[1967-the man at the bar] “ Camping . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snort [my]2959-i drink up [my]2959-i nose as [I]2959-i giggle . “ Oh . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i cough . “ So . . . [you]186-jameson ’re [the outdoor type]3298-the outdoor type ? ”[2959-i] “ Totally . ”[1967-the man at the bar] [He]1967-the man at the bar sips [his]1967-the man at the bar margarita . “ [I]1967-the man at the bar ’m at one with nature . ”[1967-the man at the bar] [He]1967-the man at the bar crosses [his]1967-the man at the bar two fingers to show [me]2959-i just how close . [I]2959-i try and fail to hide [my]2959-i broad smile . “ That ’s good to know . [Cavemen]223-cavemen are such a turn - on . ”[2959-i] [His]1967-the man at the bar eyes dance with delight ; [he]1967-the man at the bar likes this game . [I]2959-i do too . “ What do [you]186-jameson do ? ”[1967-the man at the bar] [he]1967-the man at the bar asks . “ [I]1967-the man at the bar ’m [a psychic]3299-a psychic . ”[1967-the man at the bar] [He]1967-the man at the bar bursts out laughing . Oh , it feels good to see [him]1967-the man at the bar laugh again . “ [A psychic]3299-a psychic ? ”[1967-the man at the bar] [His]1967-the man at the bar eyes widen in surprise . “ Yes . ”[1967-the man at the bar] “ So . . . [you]186-jameson read minds ? ”[1967-the man at the bar] “ [I]1967-the man at the bar do . ”[1967-the man at the bar] “ All right . ”[1967-the man at the bar] [He]1967-the man at the bar looks around [the bar]459-the bar and gestures to [a woman with [his]1967-the man at the bar drink]1976-a woman with his drink . “ Tell [me]2959-i what [that woman]1976-a woman with his drink ’s saying over there . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look over and see [an older woman who looks like [she]246-alan is scolding [[her]246-alan husband]1978-her husband]246-alan as [he]1978-her husband drinks [his]1978-her husband beer . “ [She]246-alan ’s telling [him]1978-her husband that [he]1978-her husband had better hurry up and put on [his]1978-her husband compression socks before the flight and that [he]1978-her husband ’s had enough . [They]3300-they wo n’t let [him]1978-her husband on [the plane]268-the plane if [he]1978-her husband ’s drunk . ”[246-alan] “ Hmm . ”[1978-her husband] [He]1978-her husband smirks as [he]1978-her husband looks around . “ What about [him]1978-her husband ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look over to [the man who is looking at [his]246-alan phone]246-alan . “ [[He]246-alan ’s googling prostitutes for [his]246-alan business trip]3302-he ’s googling prostitutes for his business trip . ”[2959-i] “ And [him]246-alan ? ”[246-alan] “ Wondering if [[his]246-alan wife]3303-his wife is sleeping with [[her]3303-his wife boss]3304-her boss . ”[246-alan] [His]246-alan smile broadens . “ [You]3304-her boss ’re good . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i cock [my]2959-i head . “ [I]2959-i know . ”[2959-i] “ And [her]3303-his wife ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look over at [a girl staring at [her]1979-a girl staring at her phone with a worried look on her face phone with a worried look on [her]1979-a girl staring at her phone with a worried look on her face face]1979-a girl staring at her phone with a worried look on her face . “ Googling fungal infections . [She]1979-a girl staring at her phone with a worried look on her face ’s worried that [she]1979-a girl staring at her phone with a worried look on her face caught something from [her]1979-a girl staring at her phone with a worried look on her face wild and condomless Saturday night . ”[246-alan] [His]246-alan eyes dance in delight as [he]246-alan looks around [the bar]459-the bar , and then [his]246-alan eyes come back to meet [mine]2959-i . “ What about [me]246-alan ? ”[246-alan] “ What are [you]246-alan thinking ? ”[246-alan] “ Yes . ”[1981-our] [Our]1981-our eyes lock . . . shit , [I]2959-i promised [myself]2959-i that [I]2959-i would n’t be [a drama queen]2700-a drama queen tonight , and that is a surefire question to wind [me]2959-i up . [I]2959-i could go to [town]2456-town on what a jackass [he]246-alan ’s been . . . and [I]2959-i will later . “ Right now ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ Yes . ”[246-alan] [His]246-alan eyes are dark as [he]246-alan watches [me]2959-i . “ It ’s good to see [you]246-alan . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan gives [me]2959-i a slow , sexy smile and leans toward [me]2959-i . “ It is . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan cups [my]2959-i face in [his]246-alan hand , and [my]2959-i heart stops . “ Although that was n’t all [I]246-alan was thinking . ”[246-alan] “ No , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i breathe . “ [I]246-alan know . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan smiles as if fascinated , [our]1984-our faces only millimeters apart . “ Why do n’t [you]246-alan tell [me]246-alan what else [I]246-alan was thinking ? ”[246-alan] [His]246-alan eyes drop to [my]2959-i lips . “ [You]246-alan were wondering what the chocolate on [my]2959-i lips tastes like , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . How am [I]2959-i supposed to string two words together when [he]246-alan ’s looking at [me]2959-i like that ? In slow motion , [he]246-alan leans in and licks [my]2959-i open lips . [My]2959-i sex clenches in appreciation . Oh God . . . “ Are [you]246-alan flirting with [me]2959-i , [Jim]266-jim ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [He]246-alan licks [me]2959-i again . “ [I]246-alan am . How am [I]246-alan doing ? ”[246-alan] Goose bumps scatter up [my]2959-i spine , and [I]2959-i swallow the lump in [my]2959-i throat . “ Okay . ”[2959-i] “ Just okay ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i nod , breathless from [his]246-alan touch . “ What about when [I]246-alan do this ? ”[246-alan] In slow motion [he]246-alan kisses [me]2959-i ; [his]246-alan strong tongue slides through [my]2959-i open mouth and tenderly caresses [mine]2959-i . “ That could probably work , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i murmur against [his]246-alan lips . “ And this ? ”[246-alan] [His]246-alan kiss deepens , and [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i arousal waken from its dormant sleep . [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes as emotion rushes through [me]2959-i . . . this is not good . One kiss , and [I]2959-i ’m about to burst into tears . How could [you]1985-you treat [me]2959-i so badly ? Do n’t be a wimp . . . [I]2959-i need to keep [my]2959-i emotions in check . . . at least for now . Tomorrow is a different story , but tonight is about celebrating what [we]1986-we have with each other . [I]2959-i pull out of [his]246-alan kiss . “ [I]2959-i do n’t know what kind of woman [you]3305-you think [I]2959-i am , [Jim]266-jim , but [I]2959-i can assure [you]3305-you — picking up [camping tour directors in [an airport bar]1964-an airport bar]3306-camping tour directors in an airport bar is not [my]2959-i style . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sit back and straighten [my]2959-i shirt and sip [my]2959-i margarita . [He]246-alan rolls [his]246-alan lips as if amused with the game and picks [my]2959-i hand up and brings it to [his]246-alan lips . [He]246-alan begins to kiss it , and then [he]246-alan turns it over and , with [his]246-alan strong tongue , licks the palm of [my]2959-i hand . [My]2959-i sex clenches in appreciation . . . fuck . [I]2959-i ’m losing control of this situation . Fast . [I]2959-i glance over and see [two girls sitting near [us]1988-we]1987-two girls sitting near us , transfixed and watching [him]246-alan with [their]1987-two girls sitting near us mouths hanging open . What must [we]1988-we look like ? [A gorgeous man sitting here]1989-a gorgeous man sitting here making out with [my]2959-i hand while [I]2959-i act totally uninterested . Act being the operative word . “ [You]1989-a gorgeous man sitting here ’re making a scene , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i murmur as [I]2959-i watch [him]246-alan . “ [I]246-alan ca n’t help it , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan murmurs against [my]2959-i skin . “ It ’s been too long . ”[246-alan] “ How long ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ Fifteen days . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan kisses [my]2959-i hand again . “ Fifteen long days . ”[246-alan] That ’s how long [we]1988-we ’ve been apart . . . [he]246-alan knows how long [we]1988-we ’ve been apart to the day . [He]246-alan wants to break the ice between [us]1988-we too . [He]246-alan ’s missed [me]2959-i ; [I]2959-i know [he]246-alan has . Suddenly [I]2959-i do n’t want to play hard to get . [I]2959-i want [him]246-alan . . . hard . . . and fast . [I]2959-i pull [my]2959-i hand away from [his]246-alan lips . “ Buy [me]246-alan another drink , and then perhaps [I]246-alan ’ll put [you]246-alan out of [your]246-alan misery . ”[246-alan] [His]246-alan eyes flicker with arousal , and [his]246-alan hand immediately goes up as [he]246-alan summons [the waiter]717-the waiter . “ Yes , [sir]246-alan . ”[246-alan] “ Two — ”[246-alan] “ Four , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i interrupt [him]246-alan . [He]246-alan frowns , probably deterred by the extra time it ’s going to take to drink those . “ Four margaritas , please , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan replies to [the waiter]717-the waiter . “ Yes , [sir]246-alan . ”[246-alan] “ Please make it fast , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan adds . [The waiter]717-the waiter frowns at [his]246-alan apparent desperation . “ Yes , [sir]246-alan , of course . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan rushes to [the bar]459-the bar . [We]1992-we stare at [each other]2339-each other as electricity thrums between [us]1992-we — no words are needed . [We]1992-we both can feel this magnetic pull to each other ; it ’s too strong to deny . “ It really . . . is good to see [you]246-alan , [Em]186-jameson , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan whispers . An hour later [we]1992-we walk down [the hotel corridor]1994-the hotel corridor , hand in hand . [We]1992-we are both quiet , lost in [our]1992-we own thoughts . [My]2959-i heart is beating so fast , and [I]2959-i know what ’s about to happen . . . [I]2959-i ’m looking forward to what ’s about to happen . [He]246-alan opens the door and leads [me]2959-i into [the penthouse]1995-the penthouse . [I]2959-i look around and am instantly reminded of who [I]2959-i ’m with . It ’s easy for [me]2959-i to forget [his]246-alan wealth , but it never goes away . The door closes behind [us]1992-we , and [he]246-alan turns [me]2959-i to [him]246-alan . [We]1992-we stare at each other , and then [he]246-alan wraps [his]246-alan arms around [me]2959-i and holds [me]2959-i tight as [he]246-alan puts [his]246-alan head into the crook of [my]2959-i neck . [He]246-alan holds [me]2959-i and holds [me]2959-i . . . as if scared to let [me]2959-i go . The love between [us]1992-we is palpable — so much emotion . . . so much regret — and [I]2959-i find [myself]2959-i tearing up . [I]2959-i want to blurt out that [I]2959-i love [him]246-alan , that [he]246-alan hurt [me]2959-i , and that [I]2959-i ’m angry , but [I]2959-i want to let the moment just be . Let the feelings between [us]1992-we speak for [themselves]1992-we ; words seem irrelevant to what ’s between [us]1992-we . [He]246-alan pulls back , and [his]246-alan eyes search [mine]2959-i . “ [I]246-alan ’ve missed [you]246-alan , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan whispers . [I]2959-i cup [his]246-alan face in [my]2959-i two hands , and [I]2959-i kiss [him]246-alan long and slow and just how [he]246-alan likes it . [He]246-alan smiles against [my]2959-i lips as [he]246-alan slowly unbuttons [my]2959-i shirt and throws it to the side . [He]246-alan takes off [my]2959-i bra and cups [my]2959-i breasts . [His]246-alan thumbs dust back and forth over [my]2959-i hardened nipples . [Our]1996-our lips are locked , and [he]246-alan undoes [my]2959-i pants and slides them down and takes them off . [He]246-alan drops to [his]246-alan knees , and [I]2959-i hold [my]2959-i breath as [he]246-alan slides [my]2959-i panties down [my]2959-i legs and takes them off . [He]246-alan leans in and inhales [my]2959-i sex deeply ; [his]246-alan eyes close in pleasure as [he]246-alan kisses [me]2959-i there . Oh . . . [I]2959-i ’ve missed [him]246-alan . [I]2959-i think back to the first night [we]1997-we had together on [our]1997-we stopover , and it was so different to this . [His]246-alan touch back then was filled with lust ; [his]246-alan touch now is filled with adoration and love . [He]246-alan lifts [my]2959-i leg over [his]246-alan shoulder and licks [me]2959-i in [my]2959-i most private part , the one that [nobody]2321-nobody but [he]246-alan knows . [My]2959-i hands instinctively go to the back of [his]246-alan head . This is insane . [I]2959-i have n’t touched [him]246-alan once , and [he]246-alan ’s on [his]246-alan knees in front of [me]2959-i , completely dressed . . . having the time of [his]246-alan life . [His]246-alan tongue finds a rhythm , and [my]2959-i body begins to move by itself , guiding [his]246-alan tongue just where . [I]2959-i begin to shudder , and [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes to try and block [him]246-alan out . [He]246-alan ’s been touching [me]2959-i for all of four minutes , and [I]2959-i ’m about to come . . . hold it . [My]2959-i knees go weak , and [I]2959-i shudder against [him]246-alan , and [I]2959-i feel [him]246-alan smile into [me]2959-i . [He]246-alan laps [me]2959-i up and lays [me]2959-i on the bed . [He]246-alan arranges [me]2959-i how [he]246-alan wants [me]2959-i and spreads [my]2959-i legs open for [his]246-alan gaze . “ So . . . fucking perfect , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan whispers to [himself]246-alan . With urgency , [he]246-alan tears [his]246-alan shirt over [his]246-alan head and slides [his]246-alan jeans down . [His]246-alan cock hangs heavy and hard between [his]246-alan legs . [He]246-alan ’s so beautiful . . . the perfect male specimen . [I]2959-i smile up at [him]246-alan , and then [he]246-alan goes to [his]246-alan pocket and takes out a condom . Uneasiness fills [me]2959-i . “ What are [you]246-alan doing ? ”[246-alan] “ [I]2959-i want [you]246-alan more than once , and [I]2959-i do n’t want to lose the sensitivity . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i watch [him]246-alan roll it on . . . that ’s weird ; in the past [he]246-alan always made [me]2959-i roll them on [him]246-alan as if [he]246-alan was unable to . [He]246-alan lies beside [me]2959-i on the bed and runs [his]246-alan fingers through [my]2959-i hair as [he]246-alan looks down at [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i ca n’t read [him]246-alan tonight at all . [He]246-alan seems . . . intense . “ [You]246-alan ’re seeming very sentimental tonight , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Maybe [I]2959-i am . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reach out and cup [his]246-alan face in [my]2959-i hand . [He]246-alan seems so lost . “ Are [you]246-alan all right ? ”[246-alan] “ Tonight [I]246-alan am . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan leans down and kisses [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i can feel the emotion behind it . It ’s as if [he]246-alan ’s channeling all [his]246-alan love through [his]246-alan lips , and [I]2959-i lose all coherent thought . [He]246-alan lies over [me]2959-i , and [our]1999-our bodies take on an agenda of [their]1999-our own as [they]1999-our writhe together . [Our]1999-our kiss turns frantic , and [he]246-alan lifts one of [my]2959-i legs and slides in deep . [I]2959-i feel the stretch of [his]246-alan possession ; there ’s no forgetting [his]246-alan size . It ’s unapologetic . [We]1999-our both moan in pleasure , and [he]246-alan slides out and slowly back in . [I]2959-i ’m wet , so wet , and the sound of [my]2959-i arousal hangs in the air . “ Jesus fucking Christ , [Emily]186-jameson , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan whispers as [he]246-alan loses control and slams in hard , knocking the air from [my]2959-i lungs . And then [we]1999-our ’re hard at it . The bed is hitting the wall with force ; [our]1999-our eyes are locked on each other ’s . . . silent . . . and in awe . This is a higher level of frequency . [Our]1999-our bodies were made to fit together . [We]1999-our were made to fit together . [He]246-alan screws up [his]246-alan face as if in pain . “ [I]246-alan ca n’t hold it , [babe]0-aaron , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan pants . [I]2959-i smile . [I]2959-i love that [he]246-alan ca n’t hold it . “ Let go , ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i breathe against [his]246-alan lips . “ [We]1999-our have all night . Give [me]2959-i everything . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll over and feel the dull ache deep inside , and [I]2959-i wince . Oh [man]2430-tristan . . . [my]2959-i body is wrecked . [Jameson Miles]186-jameson fucked [me]2959-i all night long . Hard and every which way , and today [I]2959-i ’m going to pay for it . [I]2959-i turn toward [him]246-alan . [He]246-alan ’s lying on [his]246-alan side , perched on [his]246-alan elbow , watching [me]2959-i . “ Hi . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i smile softly , embarrassed by what [he]246-alan must have seen . “ Hi . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan leans in and kisses [me]2959-i before taking [me]2959-i in [his]246-alan arms and holding [me]2959-i tight . “ [I]2959-i ’m sore , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ That makes [two of [us]2001-us]3192-two of us . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan smirks . [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes against [his]246-alan chest , and [we]2001-us lie in peaceful bliss for another half hour , dozing . [I]2959-i get up to go to [the bathroom]300-the bathroom and notice the trash can full of condoms . . . hmm , [he]246-alan wore condoms all night . [I]2959-i did n’t notice at the time . [I]2959-i get back into bed beside [him]246-alan and snuggle back against [his]246-alan chest . “ Why did [you]3310-you wear condoms last night ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i feel [his]246-alan body stiffen beneath [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i instantly know it was purposeful . [He]246-alan stays silent . “ [Jim]266-jim ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i sit up . “ Do n’t . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan goes to pull [me]2959-i back down onto [his]246-alan chest . “ Let ’s just have a nice morning together . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i stare at [him]246-alan . “ Why would [you]3310-you wear condoms when [I]246-alan know how much [you]3310-you hate [them]3311-them ? ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan exhales heavily as if annoyed and gets out of bed . “ [I]246-alan do n’t want any accidents . ”[246-alan] “ What ? ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan exhales heavily as if frustrated . [I]2959-i sit up . “ [You]3310-you think [I]246-alan would trap [you]3310-you by getting pregnant ? ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan rolls [his]246-alan eyes . “ What the hell ? ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i snap as [I]2959-i jump out of bed . “ Are [you]3310-you serious ? ”[2959-i] “ [We]3312-we ’re not together , [Emily]186-jameson . [I]2959-i would have to be [a fucking idiot]142-a fucking idiot to not take precautions . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i face falls . “ What was last night ? ”[2959-i] [His]2959-i eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ It was goodbye . ”[2959-i] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i can feel the tears of shock welling in [my]2959-i eyes . “ Do n’t be upset , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan stammers . “ Do n’t be upset ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i cry as [I]2959-i begin to lose control . “ [You]3310-you summoned [me]246-alan here to meet [you]3310-you with absolutely no intention of [us]3314-us getting back together ? ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan stares at [me]2959-i . “ Is that true ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i yell . “ [I]246-alan ’m not [the man for [you]3310-you]3315-the man for you , [Emily]186-jameson , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan replies calmly , and [I]2959-i know that this is a practiced speech . [I]2959-i frown as the walls begin to close in around [me]2959-i . “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [You]3310-you ’re in love with [Jim]266-jim . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i angrily swipe the tears as [they]2003-they roll down [my]2959-i cheeks . “ [I]2959-i ’m [Jameson]186-jameson . [Jim]266-jim does n’t exist , [Emily]186-jameson . [He]266-jim ’s a figment of [your]3310-you imagination , [the man [you]3310-you want [me]2959-i to be]266-jim . ”[2959-i] “ What the fuck are [you]3310-you talking about ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i cry . “ [You]3310-you ’re better off without [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] “ If this is about [Jake]108-jay — ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . “ This is n’t about [Jake]108-jay , although [I]2959-i ’m fucking furious with [you]108-jay for lying to [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i swear to [you]108-jay that nothing happened , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i cry . “ [I]2959-i know it did n’t . ”[2959-i] “ Then why ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [I]2959-i do n’t understand . [We]3316-we belong together , [Jay]108-jay . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i ca n’t . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i closes [his]2959-i eyes and pauses for a moment as if steeling [himself]2959-i to push the words past [his]2959-i lips . “ [I]2959-i do n’t want marriage and [babies]3317-babies . [I]2959-i do n’t want the same things as [you]108-jay . [I]2959-i ’m not cut out to do normal , [Emily]186-jameson . [I]2959-i ’m married to [my]2959-i job . It will never change . [I]2959-i ’ve thought long and hard about this . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i step back from [him]2959-i as horror dawns . [I]2959-i can hear [my]2959-i own heartbeat in the silence . “ [I]2959-i will always love [you]2959-i , ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i whispers . [I]2959-i stare at [him]2959-i through tears . . . what the fuck is happening right now ? [He]2959-i brushes past [me]2959-i and goes into [the bathroom]300-the bathroom , and the door closes . [I]2959-i stare at a piece of carpet on the floor , shocked to [my]2959-i core . After the beautiful night [we]2005-we had together . . . this is how [he]2959-i treats [me]2959-i ? [He]2959-i reappears fully dressed , and [his]2959-i eyes find [mine]2959-i . “ Can [I]2959-i give [you]2959-i a lift somewhere ? ”[2959-i] “ If [you]2959-i walk out that door now , [we]2005-we are over forever , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [His]2959-i eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ [I]2959-i know . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i steps forward and kisses [me]2959-i softly as [he]2959-i cups [my]2959-i face in [his]2959-i hands . [Our]2005-we faces screw up against each other ’s . “ This is for the best ; [another man]526-another man can make [you]2959-i happier . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i step back , furious . “ Do n’t [you]2959-i dare throw that shit at [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] “ Do [you]2959-i want a lift or not ? ”[2959-i] “ Go to hell , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i spit . [His]2959-i haunted eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ [I]2959-i ’m already there . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i turns and walks out the door . It clicks quietly behind [him]2959-i . [I]2959-i sob out loud into the silence as [I]2959-i hold [my]2959-i poor heart . Chapter 23 [I]2959-i sit on the carpet cross - legged , with [my]2959-i back rested against the couch , and flick [my]2959-i phone . [I]2959-i watch it spin until it slows in momentum , and [I]2959-i spin it again . It ’s been a weird day today — one of realization and the closing of a chapter in [my]2959-i life . [I]2959-i ’m not crying . [I]2959-i do n’t have any tears left for [Jameson Miles]186-jameson . To be honest , [I]2959-i ’m just angry , mostly with [myself]2959-i for meeting [him]2959-i last night and being [his]2959-i puppet once again . [Magic Mike XXL]60-michael is on [Netflix]87-netflix , and [I]2959-i ’m watching it again . It ’s ironic , really , that [we]2006-our started [our]2006-our love affair watching this movie , and now [I]2959-i ’m watching it again on [our]2006-our demise . [I]2959-i ’ve been deep in thought . [I]2959-i ’ve got some decisions to make — big decisions . About where [I]2959-i ’m going with [my]2959-i life . . . [my]2959-i career and [my]2959-i future at [Miles Media]14-miles media . [I]2959-i already know what [I]2959-i need to do . [I]2959-i glance up to the television , and it ’s a campfire scene on [the beach]2007-the beach , and [the men]378-the men are talking about [a woman one of [them]378-the men loved]2009-a woman one of them loved . “ When [someone]2326-someone shows [themselves]378-the men to [you]3320-you . . . believe [them]378-the men . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i chest constricts at the significance of that statement . For weeks now , [I]2959-i ’ve refused to believe that [Jameson Miles]186-jameson was coldhearted . [He]186-jameson is , though ; no matter how [the man [I]2959-i thought [I]2959-i knew presented [himself]186-jameson]2010-the man i thought i knew presented himself . . . [his]186-jameson reality is a lie . “ [Jim]266-jim does n’t exist , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson said . [My]2959-i phone rings , and the name [Tristan]2430-tristan lights up the screen . [I]2959-i frown . “ Hello . ”[2959-i] “ Oh [my]2959-i God , [Em]186-jameson . [They]378-the men think [they]378-the men ’ve found it . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sit up . “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ [Lara Aspin]125-lara aspin ’s computer — there ’s evidence on there that it was used to log in to [our]3321-our bank accounts . ”[2430-tristan] “ What ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper , wide eyed . “ [We]3321-our do n’t have details yet , but the computer analysts just called to let [us]3321-our know that the history is very promising . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ That ’s great . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2430-tristan ’ll see [you]2430-tristan in [the office]385-new york in the morning ? Come up to the top floor as soon as [you]2430-tristan get in . ”[2430-tristan] “ Yeah , sure . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pause on the line . “ Hey , thanks for letting [me]2959-i know . ”[2959-i] “ See [you]2430-tristan in the morning , ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i says chirpily down the line . [I]2959-i hang up and , with a sad smile , stare into space for a moment . [I]2959-i get up and open [my]2959-i laptop at the kitchen table , and [I]2959-i begin to type . [I]2959-i believe [you]2011-you , [Jameson]186-jameson . . . [I]2959-i finally believe [you]2011-you . “ Oh [my]0-aaron God , [Em]186-jameson , did [you]2011-you hear ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron smiles happily as [he]0-aaron spins on [his]0-aaron chair toward [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i ’ve just arrived at work for the morning and put [my]2959-i handbag down onto the desk . “ What ? ”[0-aaron] “ The headlines today say that [they]3323-they have made an arrest over the embezzlement . ”[0-aaron] “ Really ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i fake a smile . “ That ’s great . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look around . “ Is [Moll]198-molly here yet ? ”[2959-i] “ No , [she]246-alan ’ll be [here]385-new york soon . ”[0-aaron] [He]0-aaron turns on [his]0-aaron computer . “ Okay , [I]0-aaron ’ll be back in a moment . ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i take the envelope from [my]2959-i bag and swipe [my]2959-i card to get to the roof . Funnily enough , it works today . The doors open , and [Sammia]246-alan smiles broadly as if [she]246-alan ’s happy to see [me]2959-i . “ Good morning , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[246-alan] “ [Hi]224-hi . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look around . “ Is [Tristan]2430-tristan here ? ”[2959-i] “ Yes , [he]2430-tristan ’s in [[Jameson]186-jameson ’s office]2600-jameson ’s office . Just go through . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i stomach drops . “ Okay , thank [you]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i walk across the tiles and make a mental note of the sound . [My]2959-i shoes do n’t click on the tiles anymore , and [I]2959-i think back to a time when [they]2012-they did . [I]2959-i look out over the view and take a picture in [my]2959-i mind . [I]2959-i do love [this building]382-this building — so many exciting memories of when [I]2959-i started coming up to this floor . [I]2959-i knock on the door and hear [Jameson]186-jameson ’s strong voice . “ Come in . ”[186-jameson] Here [we]2014-we go . [I]2959-i swallow [my]2959-i nerves and open the door , and [Tristan]2430-tristan ’s face lights up . “ Here [she]3326-she is . [The hero of the day]2430-tristan . ”[2430-tristan] “ Hi . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes find [Jameson]186-jameson ’s across [the room]514-the room . “ Hi . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson dips [his]186-jameson head as if ashamed . “ The evidence is all on the computer , [Em]186-jameson . ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan beams . “ [You]2430-tristan did it ; [you]2430-tristan solved the case . [I]2430-tristan do n’t know why [you]2430-tristan kept following [her]3326-she , but [boy]2430-tristan , am [I]2430-tristan glad that [you]2430-tristan did . ”[2430-tristan] “ Happy [I]186-jameson could help . ”[186-jameson] “ Thank [you]2430-tristan . ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson frowns as if pained . “ [I]2430-tristan ’m very grateful for [your]2430-tristan dedication to solving the case . ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan looks between [us]2016-us and must sense the tension between [us]2016-us . “ [I]186-jameson ’m going to leave [you]2430-tristan two alone . [We]2016-us need to celebrate . . . tonight , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson calls as [he]186-jameson rushes from [the room]514-the room in an excited flurry . It must be such a relief to [him]186-jameson to have the case against [Jameson]186-jameson coming to an end . [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes . Damn it , just get this over with . [I]2959-i hand [Jameson]186-jameson the envelope , and [he]186-jameson stares at it in [his]186-jameson hand . “ What ’s this ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson asks . “ [My]186-jameson letter of resignation . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson frowns as [his]186-jameson eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ No , [Em]3327-em . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson shakes [his]186-jameson head . “ [I]186-jameson ca n’t accept this . ”[186-jameson] Emotion overwhelms [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i blink so that [I]2959-i do n’t cry . “ [I]2959-i ca n’t work here , [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ [You]2959-i love [Miles Media]68-miles media — working here was [your]2959-i dream , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers . “ No . [You]2959-i ’re wrong . [I]186-jameson loved [you]2959-i . . . and [you]2959-i were [my]186-jameson dream . [I]186-jameson ’ve taken a position with [Athena]200-athena , the place [I]186-jameson did [my]186-jameson internships . [I]186-jameson start next Monday . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson eyes search [mine]2959-i . “ [Em]3328-em . . . ”[186-jameson] A tear escapes onto [my]2959-i cheek , and [I]2959-i wipe it away with a nervous smile . “ [You]2959-i know , [I]186-jameson watched [Magic Mike XXL]60-michael last night . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson listens . “ And there was this poignant line that finally made everything make sense to [me]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] “ Which was ? ”[186-jameson] “ When [someone]2326-someone shows [themselves]2326-someone to [you]2959-i . . . believe [them]2326-someone . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson frowns , not understanding . “ [I]186-jameson finally believe [you]2959-i , [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] “ Believe what ? ”[186-jameson] “ That [you]2959-i ’re [a coward]3330-a coward . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson clenches [his]186-jameson jaw . “ That [you]2959-i ’re too scared to love [me]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [Our]2018-our eyes are locked , and an undercurrent of anger runs between [us]2018-our . “ And [I]186-jameson deserve [someone who knows that [I]186-jameson ’m worth the risk]3331-someone who knows that i ’m worth the risk . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson clenches [his]186-jameson jaw as [he]186-jameson watches [me]2959-i . “ [You]2959-i ’re just not brave enough to love [me]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] “ That ’s not fair , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers . “ No . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shake [my]2959-i head softly . “ Falling in love with [you]2959-i is what is n’t fair . [I]2959-i never stood a chance . . . [you]2959-i knew that all along . [You]2959-i keep [your]2959-i heart in a tightly sealed [Miles]186-jameson - High icebox , only to be looked at . ”[2959-i] [His]186-jameson face falls , and [I]2959-i turn and walk from [[his]186-jameson office]385-new york . [I]2959-i close the door quietly on [my]2959-i way out , and [I]2959-i stare at it for a moment as [I]2959-i gather the gumption to walk out of [[his]186-jameson office]385-new york for the last time . In a strange kind of irony , this has been the best and worst time of [my]2959-i life . Goodbye , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles . [I]2959-i will always miss [you]79-mr. miles . [Jameson]186-jameson With a tight chest , [I]2959-i watch [Emily]186-jameson leave [the office]385-new york . The door clicks closed , and the walls begin to close in around [me]2959-i . On autopilot , [I]2959-i pour [myself]2959-i a scotch and walk to the window . [I]2959-i stare out over [New York]385-new york as [I]2959-i fight an overwhelming sense of sadness . [She]186-jameson ’s gone . Knock , knock . [Tristan]2430-tristan appears and smiles broadly as [he]2430-tristan sees [my]2959-i drink . “ [We]3332-we celebrating already ? ”[2430-tristan] “ Seems that way . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan looks around . “ Where ’s [Emily]186-jameson ? ”[2430-tristan] “ [She]186-jameson left . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i scotch and feel the warmth of the amber fluid . [I]2959-i stare at it in the glass . “ [She]186-jameson resigned . Effective immediately . ”[2959-i] “ What ? ”[2430-tristan] [His]2430-tristan face falls . “ [You]2430-tristan ca n’t be serious . ”[2430-tristan] “ It ’s for the best . ”[2959-i] “ What the fuck ? How is it for the best ? ”[2430-tristan] “ [We]3332-we were never going to work , [Tris]2430-tristan ; [you]2430-tristan knew that . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pause . “ There ’s always going to be an asshole like [Ferrara]2430-tristan prepared to step on [her]186-jameson to bring [me]2959-i down . [I]2959-i do n’t want [her]186-jameson dragged through the mud any further . ”[2959-i] “ Is that what [you]2430-tristan ’re telling [yourself]2430-tristan ? ”[2430-tristan] [he]2430-tristan huffs . [I]2959-i stare out the window . “ [I]2959-i do n’t fucking get [you]2430-tristan , [man]2430-tristan ; [you]2430-tristan ’re madly in love with [her]186-jameson . Why are [you]2430-tristan really letting [her]186-jameson go ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pause as [I]2959-i contemplate [his]2430-tristan question . “ [She]186-jameson deserves better than the life [I]2959-i can give [her]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ Fuck off , ”[2430-tristan] [he]2430-tristan scoffs . “ [She]186-jameson could n’t get a better life than the one [you]2430-tristan could give [her]186-jameson . [She]186-jameson would never want for anything . ”[2430-tristan] “ It ’s not the money [she]186-jameson wants , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i mutter dryly . “ What does [she]186-jameson want ? ”[2959-i] “ Things . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i try to articulate [my]2959-i thoughts . “ Things . . . [I]2959-i ’m incapable of giving [her]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ Like what ? ”[2430-tristan] “ Time . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan stares at [me]2959-i , lost . “ But [you]2430-tristan committed to [Claudia]57-claudia no problem . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i raise [my]2959-i eyebrows as [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i scotch . “ What does that mean ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i did n’t care if [Claudia]57-claudia was waiting at [home]2289-home for [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i did n’t care how much time [I]2959-i spent away from [her]186-jameson . [I]2959-i could travel , work , focus . . . [I]2959-i was content to put [her]186-jameson fourth or fifth in line , and [she]186-jameson never expected anything different . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i exhale heavily . [I]2959-i feel the weight of the world on [my]2959-i shoulders . “ [Claudia]57-claudia was easy . ”[2959-i] “ Because [you]57-claudia did n’t really love [her]57-claudia ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug , unable to put a label on [my]2959-i feelings . [He]2959-i puts [his]2959-i hand on [my]2959-i shoulder . “ [You]57-claudia ’re more than [a CEO]3334-a ceo , [Jameson]186-jameson . [You]57-claudia deserve to be happy too . Why do [you]57-claudia think it has to be one or the other ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown , pained . “ Do n’t let the love of [your]57-claudia life walk away because [you]57-claudia ’re scared that [you]57-claudia ’re going to lose [her]57-claudia . ”[2959-i] “ It ’s inevitable , [Tristan]2430-tristan . . . eventually , [she]57-claudia will leave . [Her]57-claudia hand will be forced . ”[2959-i] “ And then what will [you]57-claudia be ? ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i snaps . “ [A lonely , stressed - out , alcoholic CEO]3334-a ceo ? ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes rise to meet [his]2959-i . “ Oh , wait . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i gestures to [my]2959-i drink . “ That ’s already happening . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i shakes [his]2959-i head in disgust . “ When [I]2959-i find [[my]2959-i woman]57-claudia , [I]2959-i ’ll move [heaven]3336-heaven and hell to keep [her]57-claudia . ”[2959-i] “ Get out . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sigh . “ [You]57-claudia have no idea what [you]57-claudia ’re fucking talking about . ”[2959-i] “ Actually , [I]2959-i ’m kind of glad [I]2959-i ’m getting to watch [you]57-claudia fuck up [your]57-claudia life , ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i calls as [he]2959-i walks toward the door . “ Now [I]2959-i know what not to do . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i scotch as the door slams hard behind [him]2959-i . [My]2959-i buzzer on [my]2959-i desk sounds , and [I]2959-i push the button . “ Yes , [Sammia]246-alan . ”[2959-i] “ [The detectives]3271-the detectives are here to see [you]246-alan , [sir]246-alan . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i drain [my]2959-i glass . . . good , a distraction . “ Thank [you]246-alan , send [them]3271-the detectives in . ”[186-jameson] [Emily]186-jameson “ A toast . ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly smiles as [she]198-molly holds [her]198-molly glass up . [Aaron]0-aaron and [I]2959-i hold [our]2020-we glasses up to touch [hers]186-jameson . “ To new beginnings . ”[0-aaron] “ To new beginnings , ”[2020-we] [we]2020-we all repeat . “ [You]246-alan ’re going to be great . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron smiles . “ [You]246-alan watch — [you’ll]246-alan be taking over the news floor within no time . ”[0-aaron] [We]2020-we ’re out to dinner in [a bar]2485-a bar and celebrating . [I]2959-i start [my]2959-i new job tomorrow . It ’s been a week since [I]2959-i left [Miles Media]14-miles media . Feels like a lifetime ago . [I]2959-i was going to go [home]2289-home and see [[my]2959-i parents]1038-my parents , but [I]2959-i just did n’t have the mental energy . [I]2959-i stayed [home]2289-home for some self - love instead . [I]2959-i needed time alone to lick [my]2959-i wounds and heal . [I]2959-i had a few massages , got some [Reiki]225-reiki done to calm [my]2959-i heartache , ate healthy , and went for two runs a day to exhaust [myself]2959-i so that [my]2959-i body had no choice but to sleep at night . [I]2959-i ’m okay . . . empty , but doing okay . [I]2959-i ’ve stopped reading the paper so that [I]2959-i do n’t have to see [his]225-reiki name . On [my]2959-i runs , [I]2959-i go the other way so [I]2959-i do n’t have to see [the Miles Media building]521-the miles media building or [restaurants]2621-restaurants or anything that would remind [me]2959-i of [him]225-reiki or [our]2026-our time together . [Him]225-reiki . . . [I]2959-i ca n’t even bring [myself]2959-i to say [his]225-reiki name . [He]225-reiki ’s been put into [the vault]2027-the vault , and [nobody]2321-nobody dares mentioning [him]225-reiki to [me]2959-i . It ’s like [he]225-reiki never existed . . . and maybe [he]225-reiki never did . “ What are [you]3338-you wearing tomorrow ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly asks as [she]198-molly cuts into [her]198-molly steak . “ [I]198-molly thought [my]198-molly navy suit . ”[198-molly] [I]2959-i chew [my]2959-i food . “ [I]2959-i want to look professional and smart . ”[2959-i] “ No gray skirt ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron smirks . [I]2959-i wipe [my]2959-i mouth with [my]2959-i napkin . “ [I]2959-i threw that fucker out . ”[2959-i] “ What ? ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly shrieks . “ [I]198-molly loved that skirt ! [I]198-molly would have had it . ”[198-molly] “ That was a troublemaking skirt , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply . “ Trust [me]2959-i ; [you]2959-i do n’t want that kind of negativity in [your]2959-i life . ”[2959-i] “ Here , here . ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron lifts [his]0-aaron glass , and [we]2029-we clink again . “ [Michael]60-michael asked [me]198-molly out on a date on Saturday night , ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly says casually . [My]2959-i knife and fork hit the plate with a clang as [my]2959-i eyes rise to meet [hers]2030-i . “ What ? ”[2030-i] [She]2030-i shrugs . “ [I]2030-i do n’t know what to make of it , really . ”[2030-i] “ Did [he]2030-i ask [you]2959-i out for a casual dinner ? Are [you]2959-i sure it ’s a date ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron frowns . “ No , [his]2030-i exact words were , ‘ Would [you]2959-i like to come out on a date on Saturday night ? ’ ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ Are [you]2959-i going to go ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]2030-i do n’t know . ”[2030-i] [She]2030-i sighs . “ So much water has passed under the bridge between [us]3339-us . [We]3339-us ’ve just got to a place of trust and friendship again . [I]2030-i do n’t want to ruin it . ”[2030-i] “ By fucking [him]0-aaron ? ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron smirks as [he]0-aaron bites into [his]0-aaron food . “ Well , if [I]681-guys did fuck [him]0-aaron , and [he]0-aaron did n’t use double Viagra on [me]681-guys , [I]681-guys would be mortally offended . [I]681-guys know what tricks [he]0-aaron has in [his]0-aaron toolbox now . ”[681-guys] [We]681-guys all giggle . “ God , that night was funny , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i add , remembering [him]0-aaron passing out from all the blood in [his]0-aaron dick . [Molly]198-molly rolls [her]198-molly eyes . “ For [you]0-aaron , maybe . ”[198-molly] [We]681-guys fall silent as [we]681-guys eat . “ Good luck for tomorrow , [babe]0-aaron , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron says . “ Thanks , [guys]681-guys . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ [You]681-guys are the best two things about [New York]385-new york . ”[2959-i] “ [God]0-aaron , [you]681-guys ’re so right , ”[198-molly] [Molly]198-molly mutters into [her]198-molly glass . “ And these margaritas . ”[198-molly] [She]198-molly raises [her]198-molly glass to show [me]2959-i . “ So should [I]198-molly go out with [Mike]60-michael ? ”[198-molly] “ Yes , ”[0-aaron] [Aaron]0-aaron and [I]2959-i gasp . “ Go . ”[0-aaron] “ [Emily]186-jameson . ”[200-athena] [Athena]200-athena smiles as [she]200-athena wraps [her]200-athena arms around [me]2959-i . “ It ’s so good to see [you]186-jameson . Welcome . ”[200-athena] “ Hi . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile nervously . “ [You]186-jameson ’re going to love it here . ”[200-athena] [She]200-athena pulls [me]2959-i through [the office]2452-your office by the hand . “ Here is [[your]186-jameson office]2452-your office . ”[200-athena] [I]2959-i smile , surprised . “ [I]2959-i get [[my]2959-i own office]2452-your office ? ”[2959-i] “ Of course [you]186-jameson do . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look around [the little office]2452-your office . It ’s definitely no management top floor , but it suits [me]2959-i just fine . There ’s a window and a desk and a chair in [the corner]672-the corner . It ’s kind of homey . [I]2959-i turn to [her]200-athena . “ Thank [you]186-jameson for taking [me]200-athena on . [I]200-athena am so grateful . ”[200-athena] [Athena]200-athena smiles and rubs [my]2959-i arm . When [I]2959-i called [her]200-athena asking for a job , [she]200-athena never once asked what happened with [Miles Media]68-miles media or [my]2959-i relationship with [Jameson]186-jameson . But [I]2959-i know that [she]200-athena knows that [I]2959-i ’m probably broken with nowhere else to go , and running [home]2289-home with [my]2959-i tail between [my]2959-i legs is n’t an option . [She]200-athena ’s right . [I]2959-i ’m going to make it up to [her]200-athena ; [I]2959-i ’m going to be [the best damn reporter that [she]200-athena has ever had]2035-the best damn reporter that she has ever had . “ [I]200-athena ’ll leave [you]200-athena to it . ”[200-athena] [She]200-athena smiles . “ Staff meeting at ten to introduce [you]200-athena to [everyone]2304-everyone . [We]2304-everyone have welcome doughnuts . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ Thanks , that would be great . ”[200-athena] [She]200-athena disappears down [the corridor]609-the corridor , and [I]2959-i take a seat at [my]2959-i new desk and look around the lonely space . [I]2959-i miss [Molly]198-molly and [Aaron]0-aaron . . . and the buzz of [Miles Media]14-miles media . [Jameson]186-jameson “ With this projection here , the forecast is a growth of ten percent over the next eighteen months . ”[212-harry] [Harrison]212-harry from finance taps the graph on the projector whiteboard as [he]212-harry addresses the board meeting . The table is alive with chatter and enthusiasm . The comeback strategy from the drama over the last four months is alive and well . [Me]2959-i . . . [I]2959-i ’m miles away . [I]2959-i ca n’t concentrate . . . [I]2959-i ca n’t think . . . [I]2959-i feel like [I]2959-i ca n’t breathe . Maybe [I]2959-i ’m not okay . [Emily]186-jameson started [her]186-jameson new job today , and [I]2959-i wanted to call [her]186-jameson and wish [her]186-jameson luck . [I]2959-i could n’t sleep thinking about it and even picked up the phone a few times . [I]2959-i drop [my]2959-i head . But what ’s the point . . . [I]2959-i wonder if [she]186-jameson ran this morning . Did [she]186-jameson wear [her]186-jameson runners that [she]186-jameson said have motors on [them]2037-they ? [I]2959-i smile softly to [myself]2959-i as [I]2959-i remember [Elliot]140-elliot thinking [I]2959-i was talking about [Zuckerberg]188-zuckerberg having [the motorized runners]2038-the motorized runners . [Idiot]226-idiot . . . [I]2959-i twist in [my]2959-i chair to stretch [my]2959-i back . [I]2959-i need a massage . [Emily]186-jameson does n’t like [me]2959-i getting massages . [I]2959-i think back to the kind of massages [I]2959-i used to get , and it seems like another lifetime ago . BE — Before [Emily]186-jameson . . . stop it . “ [Jameson]186-jameson will be addressing that in the morning . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look up , lost . What are [they]2037-they talking about ? [The board members]2039-the board members around the table all stare at [me]2959-i as [they]2037-they wait for [my]2959-i reply . [My]2959-i eyes flick to [Tristan]2430-tristan for guidance . “ When [you]3341-you fly to [Seattle]4-seattle tonight . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan raises [his]2430-tristan eyebrows as a gentle reminder . “ Yes . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i nod . “ That ’s right . ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan is limping [me]2959-i through work at the moment , well aware of [my]2959-i state of mind . The meeting continues , and [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i water to try and bring [my]2959-i mind back to where it needs to be . This is n’t good enough , [Jameson]186-jameson . Focus . [I]2959-i walk onto [the plane]268-the plane . “ Good evening , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles . [Your]79-mr. miles seat is here , [sir]186-jameson . 1A. ”[2959-i] “ Thank [you]79-mr. miles . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i fall into the seat in the front row of first class . [The plane]268-the plane slowly boards , and [I]2959-i stare out the window . Flying never used to bother [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i hate it now . [I]2959-i hate that it reminds [me]2959-i of [her]2041-her . . . of how [we]2042-we met . Of the night [we]2042-we had together . Of how badly things turned out in the end . With [my]2959-i elbow leaning on the armrest , [I]2959-i pinch the bridge of [my]2959-i nose . [I]2959-i just want to get there and go to [[my]2959-i hotel]2043-my hotel and sleep . [I]2959-i ’m tired and not in the mood for this shit . “ Can [I]2959-i get [you]2959-i anything , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles ? ”[2959-i] “ Scotch , please . ”[2044-an elderly man] [An elderly man]2044-an elderly man takes the seat next to [me]2959-i . [He]2044-an elderly man nods . “ Hello . ”[2044-an elderly man] “ Hi . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . [I]2959-i turn [my]2959-i attention out the window to the baggage crew down on the tarmac , all doing [their]2045-their job and rushing around doing the safety checks . [They]2045-their ’re driving on carts , flashing lights , and waving flags . [I]2959-i would n’t even care if [the plane]268-the plane fucking crashed . Burning in hell would be better than this . Four days later [I]2959-i smile at [Alan]246-alan as [he]246-alan stands next to [the limo at [the airport]254-the airport]2047-the limo at the airport . “ Hello , [sir]246-alan . Did [you]246-alan have a nice trip ? ”[246-alan] “ It was fine ; thank [you]246-alan . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i get into the back seat . “ Would [you]246-alan like to do the normal route , [sir]246-alan ? ”[2044-an elderly man] [he]2044-an elderly man asks through the door . “ Yes , please . ”[2044-an elderly man] [He]2044-an elderly man smiles . “ Very well . ”[2044-an elderly man] [He]2044-an elderly man shuts the door , and moments later , [the car]369-the car pulls out into the traffic . Half an hour later , [he]2044-an elderly man slows down as [we]2050-we drive past [[Emily]186-jameson ’s apartment]385-new york , and [I]2959-i peer through the window . Is [she]186-jameson [there]385-new york ? [We]2050-we do this every night on the way [home]2289-home — [my]2959-i own stupid way of saying good night to [her]186-jameson . . . if [I]2959-i do n’t , [I]2959-i end up running back [here]385-new york later . Who am [I]2959-i kidding ? [I]2959-i run back here most nights anyway . [I]2959-i hold [my]2959-i breath as [we]2050-we drive past , hoping to catch a glimpse of [her]186-jameson . . . [I]2959-i ’ve never seen [her]186-jameson once . [My]2959-i heart drops ; [she]186-jameson ’s not here . [I]2959-i look back through the back window as [we]2050-we disappear down [the street]550-the street . [Emily]186-jameson . . . where are [you]186-jameson ? [Emily]186-jameson [I]2959-i sit on [the bus]2054-the bus on [my]2959-i way [home]2289-home from work and read [my]2959-i Kindle . It ’s dark and just around six o’clock in the evening . [I]2959-i ’m happier . . . stronger . [I]2959-i ’ve been at [my]2959-i new job for three weeks , and [I]2959-i love it . [I]2959-i did the right thing . [People]248-people are all really lovely , and thankfully , [I]2959-i ’m not the office gossip anymore , and [I]2959-i have a more integral role than [I]2959-i did at [Miles Media]14-miles media . [I]2959-i still see [Molly]198-molly and [Aaron]0-aaron all the time for drinks and dinner , and [I]2959-i ’ve planned to go [home]2289-home for the weekend . [I]2959-i ’m running a lot . . . funnily enough [I]2959-i do n’t need to pretend [a man with [an ax]2058-an ax]2057-a man with an ax is chasing [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i ’m so angry that [I]2959-i ca n’t help but sprint . Gleeful jogging is no longer in [my]2959-i repertoire . [The bus]2054-the bus slows . [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i Kindle and stand as [I]2959-i wait for [the bus]2054-the bus to stop . [I]2959-i climb down the steps and begin to walk the two blocks to [[my]2959-i apartment]766-my apartment . The season is getting colder . [Fog]227-fog puffs as [I]2959-i breathe , and [I]2959-i wrap [my]2959-i large coat around [me]2959-i for warmth as [I]2959-i stride it out . [I]2959-i might have [Indian]228-indian for dinner . No . . . stick to [your]2061-your budget ; there are leftovers in the fridge from last night . [I]2959-i approach [[my]2959-i building]703-my building and fumble around in [my]2959-i bag for [my]2959-i keys . “ Hello , [Em]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] a voice says from behind [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i turn , startled . [Jameson]186-jameson stands before [me]2959-i , and the sight of [him]186-jameson tightens [my]2959-i chest . “ What are [you]186-jameson doing here ? ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson eyes search [mine]2959-i . “ [I]186-jameson had to see [you]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] The sight of [him]186-jameson brings an unexpected wave of emotion that [I]2959-i previously thought [I]2959-i had under control . [I]2959-i stare at [him]186-jameson through tears . [He]186-jameson carefully steps forward . “ How are [you]186-jameson ? ”[186-jameson] Suddenly , [I]2959-i ’m furious . . . like a raging bull , and [I]2959-i drop [my]2959-i head and fumble through [my]2959-i bag . [I]2959-i need to get away from [him]186-jameson . Where are [my]2959-i fucking keys ? “ Fine , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . [I]2959-i find [my]2959-i keys and turn toward the door . “ [I]2959-i miss [you]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stop and close [my]2959-i eyes . “ [I]186-jameson ca n’t . . . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson pauses . “ [I]186-jameson ca n’t move on until [I]186-jameson know [we]2063-we ’re okay . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i frown and turn back toward [him]186-jameson . [His]186-jameson face is pained , and [he]186-jameson appears nervous . [Our]2063-we eyes are locked , [mine]2959-i filled with tears . . . [his]186-jameson with regret . [He]186-jameson turns back and looks at [[his]186-jameson car]369-the car , which [I]2959-i did n’t notice parked in the dark . “ [I]186-jameson brought [you]186-jameson something . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson nearly runs to [the car]369-the car and then retrieves a huge bouquet of yellow roses and walks back and passes them to [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i stare at [him]186-jameson in confusion . “ Yellow roses ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smiles softly . “ Yellow roses are supposed to symbolize friendship . ”[186-jameson] “ [You]186-jameson want to be [[my]186-jameson friend]186-jameson ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson nods hopefully . “ [We]3342-we can start fresh ? ”[186-jameson] Something snaps deep inside of [me]2959-i . “ [You]186-jameson ’ve got a fucking nerve , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sneer . [His]186-jameson face falls . “ [You]186-jameson waltz back here after breaking [my]2959-i fucking heart and give [me]2959-i yellow fucking roses ! ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i scream . [He]186-jameson steps back , shocked by [my]2959-i venom . “ [I]186-jameson would n’t be [friends]394-friends with [a selfish prick like [you]186-jameson if [you]186-jameson were [the last fucking person on [earth]872-earth]3344-a selfish prick like you if you were the last fucking person on earth]3344-a selfish prick like you if you were the last fucking person on earth ! ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i yell as the angry tears run down [my]2959-i face . [I]2959-i completely lose control and start ripping the roses to shreds , and [I]2959-i break the heads and smash them up and then throw [them]2065-them on the ground and jump and stomp on [them]2065-them . [I]2959-i want to hurt these stupid roses like [he]186-jameson ’s hurt [me]2959-i . [His]186-jameson haunted eyes watch on . Adrenaline is coursing through [my]2959-i body , and still unsatisfied with the state of the roses , [I]2959-i pick [them]2065-them up and walk out to [the road]533-the road and throw [them]2065-them as hard as [I]2959-i can out onto [the asphalt]2067-the asphalt . [A passing bus]2068-a passing bus runs [them]2065-them over . “ That ’s what [you]3346-you can do with [your]3346-you friendship , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sneer as [I]2959-i stomp past [him]186-jameson . [I]2959-i open the door and walk into [the building]361-the building without looking back . [I]2959-i hit the elevator button with force , and [I]2959-i can see [him]186-jameson standing at the glass door , watching [me]2959-i , in [my]2959-i peripheral vision . Tears are streaming down [my]2959-i face , and [I]2959-i ’m furious that [I]2959-i let [him]186-jameson see how crazy [I]2959-i am . How crazy [he]186-jameson ’s made [me]2959-i . [The elevator]375-the elevator doors open , and [I]2959-i march in and hit the door button . The doors close , and [I]2959-i screw up [my]2959-i face in tears and sob out loud . Damn [you]2071-you , [Jameson Miles]186-jameson . . . Chapter 24 There are moments in [your]2071-you life that [you]2071-you know [you]2071-you will remember forever . Certain situations that are poignant and have shaped who [you]2071-you are . Last night was [one of [them]2073-them]2784-one of them . What kind of psycho rips roses to shreds with [her]2074-her bare hands while screaming like [a lunatic]2075-a lunatic ? Shame runs through [me]2959-i . This . . . is the level [I]2959-i ’ve stooped to . Strangely enough , last night was the first time [I]2959-i ’ve slept well in weeks . As if releasing a little of the steam in the pressure cooker has somehow calmed [my]2959-i soul . [I]2959-i do n’t feel guilty for being so mean . . . normally , [I]2959-i would . But [Jameson Miles]186-jameson is an enigma all of [his]186-jameson own . . . one that [I]2959-i can no longer pity . “ [I]2959-i would n’t be [[friends]394-friends with a selfish prick like [you]3349-you if [you]3349-you were [the last person left on [earth]872-earth]3350-the last person left on earth]3348-friends with a selfish prick like you if you were the last person left on earth , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i said . . . screamed actually . It was a mean thing to say — the worst — but [he]186-jameson got what [he]186-jameson fucking deserved . The doors of [the elevator]375-the elevator in [[my]2959-i building]703-my building open , and [I]2959-i step out into [the foyer]670-the foyer and walk out into [the street]550-the street . “ What the hell happened here ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hear [the woman in front of [me]2959-i]2080-the woman in front of me mutter under [her]2080-the woman in front of me breath as [she]2080-the woman in front of me stops and looks around at the carnage . There are yellow rose petals strewn everywhere ; flower buds that are squashed and bruised lie on the concrete . Out on the road the carcass of the flattened bouquet with the big cream satin bow lies . Jesus . . . [I]2959-i drop [my]2959-i head and stomp past the crazy . [I]2959-i glance up at the ceiling to see where the cameras are . [I]2959-i wonder if [anyone]272-anyone saw it on the security footage . [I]2959-i hope not . . . how embarrassing . [I]2959-i get on [[my]2959-i bus]2905-my bus and open [my]2959-i Kindle . [I]2959-i ’m not reading [my]2959-i usual rom - com genre . [I]2959-i ca n’t stand the thought of all that love bullshit . [I]2959-i ’m mixing it up and reading [Pet Sematary]229-pet sematary — maybe that ’s it . Maybe [Steven King]230-steven king is taking [me]2959-i to the dark side . The side where [you]2083-you do n’t take shit , and payback on yellow roses is due . Good for [him]230-steven king . . . bring it the fuck on . [I]2959-i swipe to the next page . [Every dog]2084-every dog has its day . [Jameson]186-jameson [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i coffee as [I]2959-i sit in the café across [the street]550-the street from [Miles Media]14-miles media . [I]2959-i ’ve been coming here the last few days before work . [Alan]246-alan told [me]2959-i that [Emily]186-jameson used to come here with [[her]186-jameson friends]2086-her friends . [I]2959-i ’m hoping to run into [one of [them]2086-her friends]2784-one of them . Why ? [I]2959-i do n’t know . [Emily]186-jameson ’s words from last night are playing over and over in [my]2959-i mind . [I]2959-i would n’t be [friends]394-friends with a selfish prick like [you]2089-you if [you]2089-you were [the last person on [earth]872-earth]2090-the last person on earth . . . [I]2959-i would n’t want to be friends with [me]2959-i either if [I]2959-i were [her]186-jameson . [I]2959-i ’ve never seen [her]186-jameson so angry . . . or thin . [She]186-jameson ’s lost a lot of weight . [I]2959-i hate that [I]2959-i ’ve put [her]186-jameson through this shit . [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i coffee , and [I]2959-i feel a hand rest on [my]2959-i shoulder . “ Hey , ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan says as [he]2430-tristan sits down beside [me]2959-i on a stool . “ Hi . ”[2430-tristan] “ Looking for [Emily]186-jameson ? ”[2430-tristan] [he]2430-tristan says casually . “ Nope . ”[2430-tristan] “ Liar , ”[2430-tristan] [he]2430-tristan replies with a cheeky grin . “ Hey , [the boys]801-the boys and [I]2959-i have organized a trip to [Vegas]27-vegas for [us]3353-us this weekend . [The jet]3354-the jet ’s all lined up . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i screw up [my]2959-i face . [I]2959-i could think of nothing worse . “ It ’ll be great . Drinking , gambling . Join [some beautiful women to [the Miles - High Club]7-the miles - high club]3355-some beautiful women to the miles - high club . [You]3356-you need to snap out of this and get back on the horse . [I]2430-tristan ’m thinking [a blonde or two]3357-a blonde or two . . . forget about [the brunettes]3358-the brunettes for a while , and besides , [we]3353-us need to celebrate [your]3356-you innocence . [Elliot]140-elliot and [Christopher]141-christopher fly in on Friday . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan winks as [he]2430-tristan tries to sweeten the deal . “ Yeah , that sounds completely shit , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i mutter dryly . “ [I]2959-i do n’t care what [you]2959-i say . [You]2959-i ’re coming . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare straight ahead . [I]2959-i ’ve lost the ability to get excited about anything lately . [He]2430-tristan falls serious . “ [I]2430-tristan ’m worried about [you]2959-i , [Jay]108-jay . ”[2430-tristan] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . “ [We]3359-we all are . [You]2959-i ’re acting completely out of character . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i ’m fine , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i murmur into [my]2959-i coffee . [I]2959-i look around once more , remembering why [I]2959-i ’m here . “ Why do n’t [you]2959-i just go to [[her]3360-her house]1323-her house if [you]2959-i want to see [her]3360-her ? ”[2430-tristan] [he]2430-tristan says . “ [I]2430-tristan tried that last night . ”[2430-tristan] “ How did it go ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i puff air into [my]2959-i cheeks . “ [She]3360-her went postal and . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pause as [I]2959-i try to explain the situation . “ [I]2959-i took [her]3360-her yellow roses , and [she]3360-her smashed the fuck out of them like [a madman]3286-a madman . ”[2959-i] “ Yeah ? ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan smirks and then smiles broadly as if impressed . “ Why would [you]2959-i take [her]3360-her yellow roses and not red ones ? ”[2430-tristan] “ [I]2959-i thought . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i exhale heavily . “ [I]2959-i thought yellow was safe , signifying friendship so that [she]3360-her would talk to [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i just wanted to talk to [her]3360-her . ”[2959-i] “ [You]2959-i did n’t tell [her]3360-her that , though , did [you]2959-i ? ”[2430-tristan] “ Yeah . ”[2430-tristan] [He]2430-tristan gives a subtle shake of the head as if [I]2959-i ’m stupid . “ How did that go down ? ”[2430-tristan] “ That ’s about the time [she]3360-her turned into [the Hulk]3363-the hulk . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i do n’t blame [her]3360-her , to be honest . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes flick to [him]2430-tristan in question . “ [You]2959-i well and truly fucked [her]3360-her over . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i did not fuck [her]3360-her over , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i spit . “ [I]2959-i ’m trying to protect [her]3360-her . ”[2959-i] “ Listen , [you]2959-i can lie to [yourself]2959-i all [you]2959-i want to . But do n’t bother lying to [me]2959-i . [You]2959-i ’re [a bad liar]2959-i . . . the worst . ”[2959-i] “ Fuck off , [man]2959-i ; it ’s too early for this shit . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sigh . “ [Tristan]2430-tristan , ”[2092-the girl behind the counter] [the girl behind the counter]2092-the girl behind the counter calls . [He]2430-tristan stands and gets [his]2430-tristan coffee and slaps [me]2959-i on the back . “ [You]2959-i staying [here]385-new york , being [a miserable prick]3365-a miserable prick ? ”[2430-tristan] “ Fuck off , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i grunt . [He]2430-tristan smiles and leaves without another word . [I]2959-i exhale heavily and stare back down at [my]2959-i coffee . [I]2959-i get a vision of the hurt on [Emily]186-jameson ’s face last night , and [my]2959-i chest constricts . [I]2959-i keep going over and over it in [my]2959-i mind , and [I]2959-i just want to know that [she]186-jameson ’s all right . Maybe then [I]2959-i can forgive [myself]2959-i and stop thinking about [her]186-jameson every minute of every day . [I]2959-i take out [my]2959-i phone . [I]2959-i ’ll call [her]186-jameson . No , [she]186-jameson will only hang up . [I]2959-i ’ll text . . . what will [I]2959-i write ? Good morning . Murder any roses today ? [I]2959-i hit send and wait . [I]2959-i drink [my]2959-i coffee and stare at [my]2959-i phone as [I]2959-i wait for [her]186-jameson to reply . . . [she]186-jameson does n’t . Twenty minutes later , [I]2959-i text [her]186-jameson again . Please talk to [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i order another coffee as [I]2959-i wait . It ’s 8:15 a.m. , and [I]2959-i know [she]186-jameson has n’t started work yet . [I]2959-i also know that [she]186-jameson would have [her]186-jameson phone on [her]186-jameson and is purposely ignoring [my]2959-i texts . Fuck this . [I]2959-i dial [her]186-jameson number , and it rings . . . [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes as [I]2959-i wait . It rings and then declines . Fuck . [She]186-jameson hit reject . [I]2959-i text [her]186-jameson . Answer [your]2093-your phone or [I]2959-i ’m coming over there . [My]2959-i text does n’t go through . . . huh ? [I]2959-i call again , and the call wo n’t connect . What ’s going on ? [I]2959-i try again . . . nothing . For ten minutes , [I]2959-i continue to try to get through . [I]2959-i ca n’t . What ’s going on ? [I]2959-i type into Google , “ Why ca n’t [I]2959-i text or call [someone]2326-someone ? ”[2959-i] The answer bounces back that cuts to the bone . “ [You]2093-your ’ve been blocked . ”[186-jameson] [She]186-jameson blocked [my]2959-i number ? What the fuck ? Anger surges through [me]2959-i ; [nobody]2321-nobody has ever blocked [me]2959-i before . Not in business or personal . . . and never [a woman]339-a woman . [She]186-jameson really does n’t want to be [friends]394-friends with [me]2959-i . . . in any shape or form . [My]2959-i heart sinks . How the hell did [I]2959-i fuck this up so badly ? [I]2959-i stare at [the Miles Media building]521-the miles media building through the window , and the thought of going there today and playing the facade that everything ’s okay is just too much . [I]2959-i text [Tristan]2430-tristan . [I]2959-i ’m taking the day off . See [you]2430-tristan tomorrow . [I]2959-i sit and finish [my]2959-i coffee , and a song comes on—“Bad Liar ”[2959-i] by [Imagine Dragons]231-imagine dragons . [I]2959-i listen . . . [Tristan]2430-tristan just called [me]2959-i a bad liar , and ironically , the lyrics ring true . With a sad damnation to hell , [I]2959-i drag [myself]2959-i out of the café and into [a cab]712-the cab . “ Where to ? ”[2099-the cab driver] [the cab driver]2099-the cab driver asks . “ [Park Avenue]16-park avenue . ”[2099-the cab driver] [The cab]712-the cab pulls out into the traffic , and [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i headphones in , hit Spotify , and listen to the song again . “ Bad Liar ”[2959-i] . . . [my]2959-i new anthem . [I]2959-i flick through the travel images on Google . [I]2959-i ’m going to take a skiing trip . [Switzerland]47-switzerland , [I]2959-i think . [I]2959-i need to get away . [New York]385-new york is just too small . . . or suffocating . . . or life threatening . . . or something that [I]2959-i just ca n’t quite put [my]2959-i finger on . Either way , [I]2959-i ’m getting the hell out of [here]385-new york . [She]2099-the cab driver blocked [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i might work from [London]6-london for a while . . . yeah , [I]2959-i could do that . Would make sense . And [I]2959-i would get to spend more time with [Elliot]140-elliot and [Christopher]141-christopher . [My]2959-i heart drops as [I]2959-i remember [someone else who lives in [London]6-london]2100-someone else who lives in london . [I]2959-i ’d be closer to [Claudia]57-claudia , and [I]2959-i broke [her]57-claudia heart the other day again too . [She]57-claudia wanted [me]2959-i back , and [I]2959-i told [her]57-claudia that [I]2959-i do n’t think [I]2959-i ever loved [her]57-claudia . . . [she]57-claudia got angry , and basically , it ’s a fucked - up situation all around . No , [I]2959-i ca n’t work out of [London]6-london . . . too complicated . Scratch that idea . How long will [I]2959-i go to [Switzerland]47-switzerland for ? [I]2959-i go over the dates . Maybe a month ? Hmm . . . [I]2959-i bring up [my]2959-i work diary and begin to go through it . [I]2959-i ’m owed a lot of holidays , and [I]2959-i guess [I]2959-i may as well take some . [My]2959-i security phone goes off , and [I]2959-i answer . “ Hello . ”[2959-i] “ Good afternoon , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles . [Mrs. Miles]0-aaron is here in [the foyer]670-the foyer to see [you]0-aaron . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes . Shit . “ Yes , thank [you]0-aaron . Please let [her]356-my mother in . ”[2959-i] Moments later the elevator doors open , and [[my]2959-i mother]356-my mother steps out . [Her]356-my mother face lights up when [she]356-my mother sees [me]2959-i . “ Hello , [darling]0-aaron . ”[356-my mother] “ Hi , [Mom]70-mom . ”[356-my mother] [She]356-my mother takes [me]2959-i into [her]356-my mother arms and holds [me]2959-i close for a moment as if sensing something is off . “ What are [you]0-aaron doing here ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i pull out of [her]356-my mother arms . “ [I]356-my mother should ask [you]0-aaron the same thing , ”[356-my mother] [she]356-my mother replies as [she]356-my mother follows [me]2959-i and sits down on the couch . “ [I]356-my mother just . . . ”[356-my mother] [I]2959-i pause as [I]2959-i try to articulate [my]2959-i lie . “ [I]356-my mother just need some time off after all that embezzlement shit . ”[356-my mother] [Her]356-my mother eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ Good , [I]356-my mother ’m glad . ”[356-my mother] “ Can [I]2959-i get [you]2959-i anything ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stand , uncomfortable lying to [her]356-my mother . “ Some tea , please , [darling]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i walk into [the kitchen]683-the kitchen and begin to make [her]356-my mother tea . [I]2959-i take out [her]356-my mother fine china pink - and - gold teapot and cup , the one [she]356-my mother always drinks from when [she]356-my mother ’s here . [She]356-my mother follows [me]2959-i and sits at the kitchen counter . “ Did [Tristan]2430-tristan send [you]2959-i ? ”[356-my mother] [I]2959-i ask with [my]2959-i back to [her]356-my mother . “ [He]2430-tristan ’s worried about [you]2959-i . ”[356-my mother] “ [I]356-my mother ’m fine , [Mom]70-mom . ”[356-my mother] “ [I]356-my mother ’ll be [the judge of that]3368-the judge of that . What ’s going on with [Emily]186-jameson ? ”[356-my mother] “ Nothing . ”[356-my mother] “ Why not ? ”[356-my mother] “ [Emily]186-jameson and [I]356-my mother are n’t together anymore . ”[356-my mother] “ Because ? ”[356-my mother] [I]2959-i keep making the tea . “ Look at [me]2959-i , [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i drag [my]2959-i eyes to [hers]356-my mother . “ Why are n’t [you]2959-i with [Emily]186-jameson anymore ? ”[356-my mother] [she]356-my mother asks . “ [Emily]186-jameson deserves better . ”[356-my mother] [She]356-my mother watches [me]2959-i . “ [Ferrara]2430-tristan . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i get [my]2959-i wording right . “ [I]2959-i do n’t want this life for [her]356-my mother . ”[2959-i] “ [You]2959-i do n’t want [her]356-my mother being with a workaholic , [you]2959-i mean ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug as [I]2959-i pass [her]356-my mother the cup of tea . “ So , [you]2959-i ended it with [her]356-my mother . . . for [her]356-my mother ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i purse [my]2959-i lips as [I]2959-i remain silent . “ Well that proves it , [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ Proves what ? ”[2959-i] “ That [she]356-my mother ’s [the one]356-my mother . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ [You]2959-i know , ever since [you]2959-i were [a tiny little boy]3369-a tiny little boy , [you]2959-i ’ve done this . ”[2959-i] “ Done what ? ”[356-my mother] What is [she]356-my mother talking about ? “ When [you]2959-i were very little , maybe three or four years old , [you]2959-i used to have [this little pale - blue pickup truck]3370-this little pale - blue pickup truck . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i listen . “ [You]2959-i loved it . It fit in the palm of [your]2959-i hand , and [you]2959-i always carried it around . It was [your]2959-i pride and joy . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile softly . “ The thing is , [Tristan]2430-tristan loved it too . [He]2430-tristan had [his]2430-tristan own , but [yours]2959-i was the special one . And even though [you]2959-i loved [that truck]3370-this little pale - blue pickup truck with all of [your]2959-i heart , the moment that [Tristan]2430-tristan got upset about anything . . . [you]2959-i would give it to [him]2430-tristan . [You]2959-i could n’t stand seeing [him]2430-tristan upset , and [you]2959-i felt responsible to make [him]2430-tristan happy . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ As [you]2959-i grew up , [I]2103-her watched [you]2959-i do this many times , [Jameson]186-jameson , with many things . To [the outside world]1518-the outside world [you]2959-i were aloof and cold , but for [the ones [you]2959-i loved]3372-the ones you loved , [you]2959-i would do anything to make [them]3372-the ones you loved happy . [You]2959-i have more heart than sense . ”[2103-her] [My]2959-i eyes hold [hers]2103-her . “ Why do [you]2959-i think that [Emily]186-jameson would n’t be happy with [you]2959-i ? ”[2103-her] [I]2959-i stare at [her]2103-her for a moment as a clusterfuck of emotion runs through [me]2959-i . “ Because eventually , [I]2959-i ’m going to let [her]2103-her down , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [Her]2103-her face softens . “ [Jameson darling]186-jameson , how ? By working too hard ? By being too honorable to [your]2959-i family business ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes . “ [I]2959-i ’m in love with [a man just like [you]2959-i]3373-a man just like you , [Jameson]186-jameson . [You]2959-i know [him]186-jameson well , [[your]2959-i father]3288-your father . [He]3288-your father , like [you]2959-i , is a workaholic . ”[2959-i] “ How . . . ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ [I]2959-i do n’t know how to do both , [Mom]70-mom . ”[2959-i] “ Then work it out . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [her]2103-her . “ [Emily]186-jameson loves [you]2959-i , [Jameson]186-jameson , not [your]2959-i money . . . or [[your]2959-i company]3375-your company . [She]2103-her loves [you]2959-i . . . just [you]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i drop [my]2959-i head . “ Stop being so damn selfless , and do what [you]2959-i want to do . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i do n’t know what that is anymore , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Oh , nonsense , ”[2103-her] [she]2103-her snaps . “ Tell [me]2103-her something . If [you]2959-i were on [a deserted island]3376-a deserted island , who would [you]2959-i want by [your]2959-i side ? ”[2103-her] “ [Emily]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper without hesitation . “ Being in love is like being on [a deserted island]3376-a deserted island , [Jameson]186-jameson . [You]2959-i focus on [them]3376-a deserted island and [them]3376-a deserted island only , and [you]2959-i make everything else fit around [that person]352-that person . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i inhale deeply . “ If [you]2959-i do n’t want to travel into the future with [her]2103-her , do n’t . But do n’t [you]2959-i dare pull away from [your]2959-i own happiness to protect [her]2103-her . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i clench [my]2959-i jaw as [I]2959-i listen . “ How [one man]3378-one man can be so ruthless in business and so giving to those [he]3378-one man loves , [I]2104-i will never understand . . . but , the fact that [[your]2959-i father]3288-your father is [your]2959-i carbon copy , [I]2104-i know it ’s possible . ”[2104-i] [She]2104-i cups [my]2959-i face in [her]2104-i hand . “ The man [I]2104-i love and [the man that [the world]249-the world]3380-the man that the world knows are [two very different men]3382-two very different men . . . and that ’s just how [I]2104-i like it . [I]2104-i like that [I]2104-i ’m [the only one who gets [his]3380-the man that the world softness]3380-the man that the world . ”[2104-i] [I]2959-i smile softly . “ [I]2959-i am [[your]2959-i father]3288-your father ’s world , [Jameson]186-jameson ; [he]186-jameson made it work around the company . Never once have [I]2959-i felt neglected or unloved . [I]2959-i have always come first to [him]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [her]2104-i as [her]2104-i words roll around in [my]2959-i head . “ [The man that [Emily]186-jameson]186-jameson loves and the one that [you]186-jameson think [you]186-jameson are are [two very different men]3382-two very different men . [You]186-jameson need to allow [yourself]186-jameson to be who [you]186-jameson are with [Emily]186-jameson and be [the Jameson Miles]186-jameson that [the world]249-the world knows . It ’s not one or the other like [you]186-jameson think it is . The fact that [you]186-jameson have put [Emily]186-jameson ’s happiness ahead of [your]186-jameson own cements that [she]186-jameson is [the one who has been chosen for [you]186-jameson]3386-the one who has been chosen for you . ”[2104-i] “ [She]2105-she wo n’t speak to [me]2959-i , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [She]2105-she stands . “ Then make [her]2105-she listen . ”[2105-she] [She]2105-she takes [me]2959-i into [her]2105-she arms . “ Go and get [your]186-jameson love , and grab [her]2105-she with both hands . . . and never let [her]2105-she go . ”[2105-she] [She]2105-she kisses [me]2959-i on the cheek and , without another word , leaves [[my]2959-i apartment]766-my apartment . [[My]2959-i mother]356-my mother ’s words ring [home]2289-home , loud and clear . [You]2109-you need to allow [yourself]2109-you to be who [you]2109-you are with [Emily]186-jameson and be the [Jameson Miles]186-jameson that [the world]249-the world knows . It ’s not one or the other like [you]2111-you think it is . It ’s five o’clock in the morning , and [I]2959-i lie and stare at the ceiling of [[my]2959-i living room]2112-my living room from [my]2959-i couch . [I]2959-i ’m still fully dressed in the clothes [I]2959-i wore yesterday . [I]2959-i have n’t slept all night . [[My]2959-i mother]356-my mother ’s words keep going over and over in [my]2959-i head . [She]356-my mother thinks that [I]2959-i can be both [the man that [Emily]186-jameson wants and the man that [I]2959-i need to be]2113-the man that emily wants and the man that i need to be . As [I]2959-i see it , [I]2959-i have three options . The first is to walk away from [Miles Media]14-miles media so that [I]2959-i can be [a man]2300-a man worth being with . The second is to let [Emily]186-jameson leave [my]2959-i life forever . [My]2959-i stomach twists as [I]2959-i imagine living [my]2959-i life without [her]186-jameson . The third is to try to be both . . . is it truly possible to live as [two men]2115-two men ? [I]2959-i stand , and for the first time in a long time , [I]2959-i have crystal - clear clarity . Fuck this . [I]2959-i ’m going to try , and if [I]2959-i ca n’t make it work , [I]2959-i will leave [Miles Media]14-miles media . [I]2959-i ’m getting [[my]2959-i girl]2959-i back . [She]2959-i comes first . Chapter 25 [Emily]186-jameson [I]2959-i close down [my]2959-i computer and pack up [my]2959-i desk and make [my]2959-i way to [the elevator]375-the elevator . [I]2959-i ’m one of the last to leave [the office]375-the elevator . It ’s been a long day , but [I]2959-i achieved a lot . It ’s the weirdest thing — blocking [Jameson]186-jameson yesterday was the most satisfying thing [I]2959-i ’ve done since [I]2959-i murdered [his]186-jameson roses . In some kind of sick and twisted way , being mean to [him]186-jameson is releasing some of [my]2959-i anger . Hurting [him]186-jameson is like the best kind of therapy . [I]2959-i must really be messed up at the moment ; either that , or payback is just surprisingly satisfying . [I]2959-i watched the movie [John Wick]233-john wick last night , and [I]2959-i smiled the whole way through it . . . that in itself says a lot about [my]2959-i current headspace . [I]2959-i take [the elevator]375-the elevator and walk out onto [the street]550-the street . It ’s dark and cold , and [I]2959-i pull [my]2959-i heavy coat around [my]2959-i shoulders for protection . “ [Emily]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hear a voice from behind [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i stop on the spot . . . shit . [Jameson]186-jameson . . . what ’s [he]186-jameson doing here ? [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i head down and keep walking . “ [Emily]186-jameson , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson repeats . [I]2959-i spin toward [him]186-jameson . “ What , [Jameson]186-jameson ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ Can [I]2959-i talk to [you]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] “ No . Go away . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i turn away from [him]186-jameson and start to storm to [my]2959-i bus stop . [He]186-jameson follows [me]2959-i as [I]2959-i walk . “ [I]186-jameson just want five minutes of [your]2959-i time . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i stay silent . [He]186-jameson runs to catch up with [me]2959-i . “ [I]186-jameson know [I]186-jameson fucked up . . . bad . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i glare at [him]186-jameson as [I]2959-i imagine punching [his]186-jameson stupid , handsome face . [I]2959-i get a vision of [his]186-jameson head snapping back as [I]2959-i connect the hit . “ Please , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson stammers as [he]186-jameson runs after [me]2959-i . “ [I]186-jameson need to explain why . ”[186-jameson] “ [I]2959-i ’m not interested . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i march forward . [He]186-jameson follows [me]2959-i for a while longer as if not sure what to say . “ [I]186-jameson ’m going to follow [you]186-jameson until [you]186-jameson talk to [me]186-jameson . Can [we]3387-we get a drink or something ? ”[186-jameson] “ No . ”[186-jameson] “ Dinner ? ”[186-jameson] “ Go . Away . [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] “ [I]186-jameson ’m not leaving [you]186-jameson , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson stammers as [he]186-jameson runs to keep up with [me]2959-i . “ [You]186-jameson already did . Get out of [my]186-jameson face . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson runs in front of [me]2959-i and walks backward facing [me]2959-i . “ [I]186-jameson mean , [I]186-jameson ’m not leaving [you]186-jameson again . . . ever . ”[186-jameson] “ Then it ’s going to be a one - sided relationship because [I]186-jameson want nothing to do with [you]186-jameson . Ever again . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson face falls . “ Do n’t say that . ”[2774-that guy] [A man]2774-that guy runs into [him]2774-that guy as [he]2774-that guy walks backward . “ Watch out , ”[2774-that guy] [the man]2774-that guy snaps as [he]2774-that guy brushes past . “ [I]2774-that guy just want ten minutes of [your]186-jameson time , ”[2774-that guy] [he]2774-that guy stammers . “ No . ”[2774-that guy] [We]2120-we arrive at [my]2959-i bus stop , and [I]2959-i stand in line . [He]2774-that guy stands next to [me]2959-i . “ [Alan]246-alan can come and get [us]2120-we , [you]246-alan know ? ”[2774-that guy] [He]2774-that guy looks at the long line of [people]248-people . “ [We]2120-we do n’t have to catch [the bus]2054-the bus . ”[2774-that guy] [I]2959-i glare at [him]2774-that guy , unimpressed . [Spoiled brat]2122-spoiled brat . [He]2774-that guy smiles . “ [You]2122-spoiled brat ’re still gorgeous when [you]2122-spoiled brat ’re angry . . . [you]2122-spoiled brat know that ? ”[2774-that guy] [he]2774-that guy says loudly , and [other people in [the bus line]2124-the bus line]2123-other people in the bus line begin to look over . Red steam shoots from [my]2959-i ears at [him]2774-that guy making a scene . “ [Jameson]186-jameson , go the fuck [home]2289-home , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper angrily . “ No . ”[2774-that guy] [He]2774-that guy folds [his]2774-that guy arms in front of [him]2774-that guy like [a petulant teenager]2125-a petulant teenager . “ [I]2774-that guy ’m not leaving without [you]2774-that guy . ”[2774-that guy] [[People]248-people around [us]2128-us]2127-people around us are all watching . [I]2959-i take out [my]2959-i Kindle and open it . . . anything to block [him]2774-that guy out . “ What are [you]2774-that guy reading ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i remain silent as [I]2959-i pretend to read . Damn [him]2774-that guy . . . [he]2774-that guy thinks [he]2774-that guy can turn up here and demand to see [me]2959-i . . . [he]2774-that guy can kiss [my]2959-i ass . “ [I]2774-that guy ’m reading a good book at the moment , ”[2774-that guy] [he]2774-that guy continues . [I]2959-i keep reading . “ It ’s called . . . ”[2774-that guy] [He]2774-that guy pauses as [he]2774-that guy thinks for a moment . “ It ’s called ‘ how to get [[your]2774-that guy girl]3390-your girl back after a midlife crisis . ’ ”[2774-that guy] [The girls behind [me]2959-i snicker]2129-the girls behind me snicker . [I]2959-i twist [my]2959-i lips to try and hide [my]2959-i amusement . Do n’t get fucking cute now , [asshole]2756-asshole . “ Chapter one is called ‘ bus duty , ’ ”[2774-that guy] [he]2774-that guy continues . [I]2959-i bite the inside of [my]2959-i cheek . “ Yes , it says to follow [her]3390-your girl to [the bus]2054-the bus stop and keep talking aimlessly until [she]3390-your girl gets sick of the sound of [your]3392-your voice and has to talk to [you]3392-your . . . even if that first word is shut up . . . that ’s something , right ? ”[2774-that guy] [I]2959-i flick the page of [my]2959-i Kindle over as [I]2959-i stop [myself]2959-i from playing into [his]2774-that guy hands and saying the words shut up . [The girls behind [me]2959-i snicker]2129-the girls behind me snicker again . [I]2959-i glare at [my]2959-i Kindle . [I]2959-i wo n’t be surprised if the screen breaks under the pressure . “ What does chapter two say ? ”[2129-the girls behind me snicker] [the girl]2129-the girls behind me snicker behind [me]2959-i asks as [the bus]2054-the bus arrives and pulls to a stop . [I]2959-i jump on . “ Get on [the bus]2054-the bus , ”[2774-that guy] [I]2959-i hear [him]2774-that guy say from behind [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i walk on and take a window seat at the back , and [he]2774-that guy comes and sits beside [me]2959-i . Are [you]2132-you kidding [me]2959-i ? “ This is a great seat , ”[2774-that guy] [he]2774-that guy whispers . “ [I]2774-that guy like it . ”[2774-that guy] “ Stop talking to [me]2959-i , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i growl . “ [I]2959-i ca n’t . [You]2132-you see , [I]2959-i ’ve finally worked it out . And [I]2959-i need [you]2132-you to listen to [me]2959-i so that [we]3393-we can sort this mess out . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare out the window . “ [I]2959-i mean , how can [we]3393-we fix this if [you]2132-you wo n’t speak to [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] “ [We]3393-we wo n’t . That ’s the point , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i mutter dryly . “ Do n’t say that , [FB]185-fb . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i glare at [him]2774-that guy as a glow of red covers the sky . . . do n’t fight ; do n’t give [him]2774-that guy the satisfaction . [He]2774-that guy smiles sweetly , totally oblivious to [my]2959-i rage . “ It ’s so good to see [you]2774-that guy . ”[2774-that guy] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes and look back out the window . . . do n’t talk to [him]2774-that guy . . . not one word . . . do n’t give in to [him]2774-that guy . “ God . . . [I]2774-that guy ’ve missed [you]2774-that guy , [Em]2774-that guy , ”[2774-that guy] [he]2774-that guy whispers . Something inside of [me]2959-i breaks . “ [You]2774-that guy do n’t get to say that , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ But it ’s true . ”[2959-i] “ Shut up , [Jameson]186-jameson . The time for talking is over . ”[2774-that guy] [The bus]2054-the bus pulls up to [my]2959-i stop , and [I]2959-i get up and brush past [him]2774-that guy . [He]2774-that guy runs after [me]2959-i as [I]2959-i storm up [the pavement]2134-the pavement . “ [I]2774-that guy ’m not leaving until [you]2774-that guy talk to [me]2774-that guy . ”[2774-that guy] [I]2959-i keep walking . “ [I]2959-i ’ll wait out here all night . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i keep walking . “ Em , come on , ”[2774-that guy] [he]2774-that guy sighs . [I]2959-i keep walking . “ How can [you]2774-that guy be so cold ? ”[2774-that guy] [he]2774-that guy demands . [I]2959-i turn like the devil [himself]2774-that guy . “ Do n’t [you]2774-that guy dare call [me]2959-i cold , [you]2774-that guy hypocrite . [You]2774-that guy ’re the only fucking cold one here . ”[2959-i] “ There [she]2774-that guy is . ”[2774-that guy] [He]2774-that guy smiles as if proud of [himself]2774-that guy for getting [me]2959-i to say something . [My]2959-i face falls at [my]2959-i own weakness . “ [Jameson]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ [Babe]190-babe . ”[2774-that guy] [He]2774-that guy grabs [my]2959-i two hands in [his]2774-that guy . “ Please talk to [me]2774-that guy . [I]2774-that guy miss [you]2774-that guy , and [I]2774-that guy know [you]2774-that guy miss [me]2774-that guy too . [I]2774-that guy need to make this right between [us]3394-us ; [we]3394-us can make it through this . ”[2774-that guy] Tears well in [my]2959-i eyes at [his]2774-that guy touch , and [I]2959-i ’m angry with [myself]2959-i for letting [him]2774-that guy get this close . “ [I]2959-i ca n’t . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i brush past [him]2774-that guy . “ Please , [Em]2774-that guy , ”[2774-that guy] [he]2774-that guy calls from behind [me]2959-i . “ [I]2959-i ’ll beg . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i keep walking . “ Do [you]2959-i want [me]2959-i to get on [my]2959-i knees right here ? Because [I]2959-i will . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i keep walking , and [he]2774-that guy runs up behind [me]2959-i . “ Tell [me]2774-that guy how to make this right ? Tell [me]2774-that guy what to do , and [I]2774-that guy ’ll do it . ”[2774-that guy] [I]2959-i turn to [him]2774-that guy . “ Move on . . . [I]2774-that guy have . ”[2774-that guy] [His]2774-that guy face falls . “ Okay . . . [I]2774-that guy deserved that . ”[2774-that guy] “ [I]2959-i did n’t . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i push through tears as [I]2959-i brush past [him]2774-that guy and keep walking . “ [I]2774-that guy know , [Em]186-jameson , ”[2774-that guy] [he]2774-that guy calls . “ [I]2959-i ’m so sorry . [That guy]2774-that guy . . . [that guy]2774-that guy was crazy to let [you]3395-you go . [I]2959-i was out of [my]2959-i fucking head . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i get to [[my]2959-i building]703-my building , and [he]2774-that guy comes up behind [me]2959-i as [I]2959-i open the door with [my]2959-i key . [He]2774-that guy slides [his]2774-that guy arm around [my]2959-i waist from behind and pulls [me]2959-i close . “ Please , ”[2774-that guy] [he]2774-that guy murmurs into [my]2959-i hair . “ [I]2774-that guy love [you]2774-that guy . ”[2774-that guy] [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i eyes in pain at the feel of [his]2774-that guy touch . . . [I]2959-i miss [him]2774-that guy . [I]2959-i pull out of [his]2774-that guy grip . “ Do n’t touch [me]2959-i , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i spit . “ What makes [you]2774-that guy think [you]2774-that guy can come back here and say that ? ”[2774-that guy] [His]2774-that guy eyes search [mine]2959-i . “ Because [you]2774-that guy love [me]2774-that guy . . . and two wrongs do n’t make a right . If [you]2774-that guy do n’t let [me]2774-that guy make this right between [us]3396-we out of stubbornness , which is a real possibility . . . ”[2774-that guy] [He]2774-that guy pauses as [he]2774-that guy tries to get the wording right . “ [We]3396-we will both regret it forever ; [you]2774-that guy know [we]3396-we will . ”[2774-that guy] [I]2959-i stare at [him]2774-that guy for a moment as [his]2774-that guy words roll around in [my]2959-i head . [I]2959-i turn and walk into [[my]2959-i building]703-my building and close the door behind [me]2959-i . [He]2774-that guy watches [me]2959-i through the glass . [I]2959-i hit the elevator button , and the doors open straightaway . [I]2959-i dive in and hit the buttons to close the doors as [my]2959-i tears well in [my]2959-i eyes . [Bastard]84-bastard . [I]2959-i walk out of [[my]2959-i building]703-my building right at eight o’clock in the morning . [I]2959-i have n’t slept much , and [I]2959-i keep seeing [Jameson]186-jameson ’s sad face when [I]2959-i left [him]186-jameson last night . [I]2959-i hate that [I]2959-i care about [him]186-jameson . [His]186-jameson words kept playing over and over in [my]2959-i head all night . [I]2959-i hate that [he]186-jameson said them . [I]2959-i hate that [they]2137-they made sense . “ Because [you]3397-you love [me]0-aaron . . . and two wrongs do n’t make a right . If [you]3397-you do n’t let [me]0-aaron make this right between [us]3398-we out of stubbornness , which is a real possibility . . . [we]3398-we will both regret it forever ; [you]3397-you know [we]3398-we will . ”[0-aaron] [God]0-aaron , what a mess . “ Good morning , ”[0-aaron] [I]2959-i hear a chirpy voice from behind [me]2959-i . [Jameson]186-jameson is standing beside [my]2959-i door in [his]186-jameson navy suit , looking all dapper and not at all discouraged like [he]186-jameson should be . “ What are [you]3397-you doing here ? ”[186-jameson] “ Waiting for [you]3397-you . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smiles as [he]186-jameson takes [my]2959-i gym bag from [me]2959-i and puts it over [his]186-jameson shoulder . “ Are [we]3398-we catching [the bus]2054-the bus today ? ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i look at [him]186-jameson deadpan . “ [I]2959-i ’m catching [the bus]2054-the bus . What [you]3397-you ’re doing . . . [I]2959-i have no idea . ”[2959-i] “ [I]186-jameson ’m following [you]3397-you around until [you]3397-you agree to have dinner with [me]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] “ It ’s not happening , [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] “ Okay , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson says as [he]186-jameson begins to walk to [the bus]2054-the bus stop . “ [I]186-jameson ’ll just be following [you]3397-you around for forever , then . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i stare at [him]186-jameson , and [he]186-jameson gives [me]2959-i a slow , sexy smile . “ [You]3397-you look beautiful today . ”[186-jameson] “ Stop it . ”[186-jameson] “ No . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i walk to [the bus]2054-the bus stop with [him]186-jameson beside [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i ’m staying silent , and [he]186-jameson is jabbering . “ Did [you]3397-you run this morning ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson asks . “ [I]2959-i did . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [him]186-jameson . “ [I]186-jameson ’m actually quite fit at the moment — all this heartache has [me]186-jameson running at record speed , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson continues . That makes [two of [us]3192-two of us]3192-two of us . . . [I]2959-i keep [my]2959-i mouth tightly closed . [I]2959-i do n’t want [him]186-jameson to know that [I]2959-i ’ve been angry running too . [We]3192-two of us catch [the bus]2054-the bus . [I]2959-i ’m silent , and [he]186-jameson ’s carrying on like [we]3192-two of us are [long - lost best friends]2141-long - lost best friends . “ Do [you]186-jameson want to go camping this weekend ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson asks as [he]186-jameson opens [his]186-jameson paper . “ No . [I]2959-i ’m going to [[my]2959-i parents]1038-my parents this weekend , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply flatly . “ Oh . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson face falls . “ Well , that ’s going to be uncomfortable . ”[186-jameson] “ What is ? ”[186-jameson] “ When [I]186-jameson follow [you]186-jameson to [[your]186-jameson parents]1038-my parents . ”[186-jameson] “ [You]186-jameson are not coming to [[my]2959-i parents]1038-my parents , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i scoff . “ Watch [me]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson eyes dance with mischief . “ [You]186-jameson wo n’t talk to [me]186-jameson ; [I]186-jameson ’m going to keep following [you]186-jameson until [you]186-jameson do . ”[186-jameson] “ [I]186-jameson do n’t want [you]186-jameson to follow [me]186-jameson . In fact , [I]186-jameson do n’t want anything to do with [you]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] “ No need to be snarky , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson says casually as [he]186-jameson turns the page of [his]186-jameson paper . “ It ’s unbecoming . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i glare at [him]186-jameson . “ [You]186-jameson know what ’s unbecoming ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper angrily . “ Jerks who break [girls]2675-girls ’ hearts and think that [they]2675-girls can snap [their]2675-girls fingers and get [her]2675-girls back at the drop of a hat . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smirks down at [me]2959-i . “ Yes , [I]186-jameson have to agree . Although if [they]2675-girls are meant to be together , and [he]186-jameson was under the impression that [he]186-jameson was doing the right thing by [her]2675-girls at the time . . . ”[186-jameson] “ Oh , please , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i huff . “ Can [you]2959-i hear [yourself]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] “ Have dinner with [me]186-jameson tonight . ”[186-jameson] “ No . ”[186-jameson] [The bus]2054-the bus pulls up at [my]2959-i stop , and [he]186-jameson stands and grabs [my]2959-i gym bag and puts it back over [his]186-jameson shoulder . [I]2959-i watch [him]186-jameson walk up [the aisle of [the bus]2054-the bus]2143-the aisle of the bus to get off , and [I]2959-i smile to [myself]2959-i . Has [he]186-jameson ever caught [a bus]2054-the bus before ? [Idiot]226-idiot . [We]2144-we walk up [the road]533-the road in silence , and [I]2959-i turn and catch sight of [the limo]678-the limo parked across [the street]550-the street . [Alan]246-alan is leaning up against it , and [he]246-alan smiles and waves over at [me]2959-i . “ [Alan]246-alan knows [you]246-alan ’re here ? ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i whisper in mortification . “ [Everyone]2304-everyone knows [I]246-alan ’m here , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan says casually as [he]246-alan hands [my]2959-i bag over . “ It ’s no secret that [I]246-alan want [you]246-alan back . [I]246-alan have stated [my]246-alan intentions loud and clear . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i stare at [him]246-alan . “ See [you]246-alan this afternoon . ”[2959-i] “ [Jameson]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sigh . “ [I]246-alan ’m not giving up on [us]3403-us , [Em]3404-em . . . ever . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan smiles softly . “ [We]3403-us were made for each other . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i scratch [my]2959-i head in frustration . “ Have a nice day . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan watches [me]2959-i with [his]246-alan hands in [his]246-alan pockets , keeping a safe distance . “ Bye . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i turn and walk into [[my]2959-i building]703-my building . [My]2959-i phone beeps a text . It ’s from an unknown number . Have a good day . This is [my]2959-i burner phone in case of an emergency . [Jameson]186-jameson . [He]186-jameson ’s got another phone , one that [I]2959-i have n’t blocked . [I]2959-i get into [the elevator]375-the elevator and find [myself]2959-i smirking at the ground . Stop it . . . [he]186-jameson ’s [an asshole]186-jameson . . . never forget that . It ’s three o’clock , and [I]2959-i ’m finishing a report for publication this week . [I]2959-i love this job . [I]2959-i mean , not as much as [I]2959-i loved [Miles Media]68-miles media , but [that ship]2150-that ship has sailed — may as well make the most of it . [The staff]253-the staff are all really friendly and nice and have welcomed [me]2959-i with open arms . “ Delivery for [Emily Foster]186-jameson , ”[253-the staff] [I]2959-i hear . [I]2959-i look up and see [a man walking through the floor]2152-a man walking through the floor with a white box . What the hell ? “ Oh , [she]186-jameson ’s in [that office]3405-that office over there , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i hear [someone]2326-someone say . [He]2326-someone knocks on [my]2959-i door . “ Are [you]186-jameson [Emily Foster]186-jameson ? ”[2326-someone] “ Yes . ”[2326-someone] “ [I]2326-someone have a delivery for [you]186-jameson . ”[2326-someone] [He]2326-someone hands over the white box . [I]2959-i take it from [him]2326-someone . “ Thank [you]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ Um . ”[2326-someone] [He]2326-someone smirks , shuffling awkwardly in place . “ It ’s from [the Kung Fu Panda]234-the kung fu panda . ”[2326-someone] “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i was told to tell [you]186-jameson that [the Kung Fu Panda]234-the kung fu panda sent it . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i try to hide [my]2959-i smile and fail miserably . “ Thank [you]186-jameson . ”[2326-someone] [He]2326-someone leaves , and [I]2959-i open the box to find a huge caramel cheesecake and a small white card . Cheesecake for [my]2959-i cheesecake . xoxoxo [I]2959-i close the box and smirk . [He]2326-someone ’s [an idiot]2154-an idiot , and [I]2959-i ’m not a cheesecake . . . if [he]2326-someone thinks [he]2326-someone can weasel [his]2326-someone way back into [my]2959-i good book by being cute , [he]2326-someone has another thing coming . [Kung Fu Panda]234-the kung fu panda . . . where the hell does [he]2326-someone get this shit ? [A girl]387-a girl from [the office]385-new york next door pops [her]387-a girl head around [the corner]672-the corner . “ What ’s that ? ”[387-a girl] “ [Cheesecake]235-cheesecake , want some ? ”[387-a girl] “ Hell yeah , [I]387-a girl ’ll get the plates . ”[387-a girl] [She]387-a girl disappears to [the kitchen]683-the kitchen . [I]2959-i stare at [my]2959-i phone for a moment . Should [I]2959-i text [him]2326-someone and say thank [you]2326-someone ? No , this is why [he]2326-someone did it — to get a reaction . [He]2326-someone knows [I]2959-i ’ve got good manners and would never receive a gift without thanking [him]2326-someone . [He]2326-someone ’ll be waiting for [my]2959-i call . Well , too bad for [the stupid Kung Fu Panda]234-the kung fu panda . More fool [him]2326-someone . [He]2326-someone created this beast ; [he]2326-someone can live with [my]2959-i rudeness . [He]2326-someone ’s in the freezer . At six o’clock in the evening , [I]2959-i make [my]2959-i way [downstairs]2454-downstairs . [I]2959-i may have fixed [my]2959-i hair and applied some lipstick . . . not that [I]2959-i ’ll ever admit to it . [I]2959-i walk out of [the building]361-the building and out onto [the street]550-the street to see [Jameson]186-jameson standing and leaning up against the wall . [He]186-jameson ’s wearing [his]186-jameson gray suit , the one that [I]2959-i love . [His]186-jameson dark hair hangs over [his]186-jameson forehead , and [his]186-jameson chiseled jaw does things to [my]2959-i insides . [He]186-jameson smiles broadly and pushes off the wall when [he]186-jameson sees [me]2959-i coming . How long has [he]186-jameson been standing there ? “ Good afternoon , [Ms. Foster]126-ms. foster . ”[186-jameson] “ [I]2959-i did n’t know that [you]126-ms. foster knew kung fu , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say as [I]2959-i walk past [him]186-jameson . “ Oh , [I]186-jameson do , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson says as [he]186-jameson falls into step behind [me]2959-i . “ There are a lot of things about [me]186-jameson that [you]126-ms. foster do n’t know . Did [I]186-jameson tell [you]126-ms. foster that [I]186-jameson ’m becoming [an extreme sportist]3406-an extreme sportist ? ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i keep silent as [I]2959-i walk . It ’s hard to keep a straight face when [he]186-jameson ’s in this mood . “ Yes , [I]2959-i thought [I]2959-i might start hiking up [mountains]3407-mountains and camping there and stuff . Making fire with [my]2959-i bare hands and whatnot . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk as [I]2959-i walk in front of [him]186-jameson , unable to help it . “ Really ? ”[2959-i] “ Uh - huh . [You]126-ms. foster see , [I]2959-i ’m becoming one with nature . ”[2959-i] “ [You]126-ms. foster . [One with nature]3408-one with nature . [I]2959-i ’d like to see that , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i mutter dryly . “ Okay , [we]3409-we can hike up [a mountain]3410-a mountain this weekend . How ’s [Mount Kosciuszko]236-mount kosciuszko ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i ’m busy , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i say as [I]2959-i keep walking . “ Oh , that ’s right ; [we]3409-we are going to [[your]126-ms. foster parents]2614-your parents this weekend . ”[2959-i] “ [You]126-ms. foster ’re not coming , [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ [[Your]126-ms. foster mother]356-my mother said [I]2959-i could when [I]2959-i spoke to [her]356-my mother earlier . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i spin on the spot toward [him]2959-i . “ [You]126-ms. foster called [[my]2959-i mother]356-my mother ? ”[2959-i] “ No , but [I]2959-i will if [you]126-ms. foster do n’t have dinner with [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i smiles hopefully . [I]2959-i stare at [him]2959-i . “ [Jameson]186-jameson , if [you]126-ms. foster think the [Kung Fu Panda]234-the kung fu panda sending [me]2959-i a cake and calling [me]2959-i a cheesecake can reverse the damage [you]126-ms. foster have done , [you]126-ms. foster are seriously deluded . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i takes [my]2959-i two hands in [his]2959-i . “ [I]2959-i do n’t , [Em]186-jameson , but please . . . just let [me]2959-i say what [I]2959-i need to say . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [him]2959-i . “ And then if [you]126-ms. foster do n’t want to see [me]2959-i again , [I]2959-i ’ll stop following [you]126-ms. foster . ”[2959-i] [His]2959-i eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ [We]3413-we need to talk about this ; [you]126-ms. foster know [we]3413-we do . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . “ Please ? ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i bats [his]2959-i eyelashes to try and be cute ; it ’s annoying that [he]2959-i is . “ Fine . [You]126-ms. foster have ten minutes . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sigh . “ Where do [you]126-ms. foster want to go ? ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i smiles . “ Wherever is easiest . ”[2959-i] “ Okay . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i looks around . “ How about [that Italian restaurant across [the street]550-the street]3414-that italian restaurant across the street ? ”[2959-i] “ Fine . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i tries to take [my]2959-i hand , and [I]2959-i snatch it away . “ [You]126-ms. foster have got to be kidding , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ [Jesus]107-jesus , calm down , ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i mutters . [I]2959-i follow [him]2959-i across [the street]550-the street and into [the restaurant]2612-the restaurant , and [we]2164-we take a seat at the back of [the restaurant]2612-the restaurant . It ’s small and darkened with candles on the tables . Red tablecloths decorate the tables . It ’s nothing like the usual upmarket Italian that [he]2959-i takes [me]2959-i to , but it will have to do . “ Can [I]717-the waiter get [you]126-ms. foster some drinks ? ”[717-the waiter] [the waiter]717-the waiter asks . [Jameson]186-jameson smirks and gestures to [me]2959-i . “ [I]186-jameson ’ll have what [she]3415-she ’s having . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i stare at [him]2959-i for a moment and open [my]2959-i menu . “ All right , [we]2164-we ’ll have a bottle of [the Henschke Hill of Grace]3416-the henschke hill of grace , please . ”[2959-i] “ Yes , [ma’am]3416-the henschke hill of grace . ”[717-the waiter] [The waiter]717-the waiter disappears out the back to [the bar]459-the bar . [Jameson]186-jameson ’s eyes come to [me]2959-i , and [he]186-jameson smiles softly and takes [my]2959-i hands over the table . “ Do [you]3416-the henschke hill of grace know how much [I]186-jameson ’ve missed [you]3416-the henschke hill of grace ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers . [I]2959-i stare at [him]186-jameson in some kind of strange detached state . “ Did [you]3416-the henschke hill of grace miss [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] Instantly [I]2959-i ’m overwhelmed with emotion . [I]2959-i stay silent as [I]2959-i battle the lump in [my]2959-i throat . [I]2959-i hate that [he]186-jameson makes [me]2959-i feel so weak and vulnerable . [I]2959-i pull [my]2959-i hands out of [his]186-jameson grip . [I]2959-i need to create some distance between [us]2167-us . “ Em . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson frowns . “ [I]186-jameson . . . ”[186-jameson] It ’s clear that [he]186-jameson has no idea what to say . “ When [I]186-jameson saw that image of [you]186-jameson kissing [Jake]108-jay — ”[186-jameson] “ [Jameson]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . [He]186-jameson holds [his]186-jameson hand up to signify silence , and [I]2959-i close [my]2959-i mouth . “ Something snapped inside of [me]186-jameson . [I]186-jameson was so thrown that it upset [me]186-jameson so deeply that [I]186-jameson . . . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson frowns as [he]186-jameson remembers it . “ [I]2168-i was furious — firstly with [you]186-jameson , but then with [myself]2168-i . ”[2168-i] [Our]2168-i eyes are locked . “ [I]2959-i was going through so much shit at work , and [the very last person on [earth]872-earth]3417-the very last person on earth that [I]2959-i thought would lie to [me]2959-i . . . was [you]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i drop [my]2959-i head in shame . “ And then when [I]2959-i calmed down after a few days and realized that [you]186-jameson had been set up , the future mapped itself out to [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ There is always going to be [someone like [Ferrara]2430-tristan who is prepared to step on [you]186-jameson to hurt [me]2959-i]3419-someone like ferrara who is prepared to step on you to hurt me . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i heart drops . “ And [I]2959-i do n’t want that for [you]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ [Jay]108-jay , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper sadly . “ [I]2959-i do n’t want [you]186-jameson to be married to [a workaholic who has to travel all the time and is stressed out of [his]3420-a workaholic who has to travel all the time and is stressed out of his head head]3420-a workaholic who has to travel all the time and is stressed out of his head . [I]2959-i do n’t want [you]186-jameson to have to remind [[your]186-jameson husband]3421-your husband not to drink too much or stop being rude to [people]248-people because [he]3421-your husband ’s too busy to care . [I]2959-i do n’t want [you]186-jameson to have to remind [[your]186-jameson husband]3421-your husband that [he]3421-your husband ’s neglecting [you]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ [Your]186-jameson bottle of wine . ”[717-the waiter] [The waiter]717-the waiter appears out of nowhere . [He]717-the waiter opens it and pours [us]2170-us both a glass . “ Thank [you]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply . [My]2959-i eyes go back to meet [Jameson]186-jameson ’s . [The waiter]717-the waiter leaves [us]2170-us alone . “ [I]717-the waiter do n’t want [you]186-jameson to come second to [Miles Media]14-miles media . [I]717-the waiter do n’t want [you]186-jameson to ever come second to anything . ”[717-the waiter] “ But — ”[717-the waiter] “ Let [me]717-the waiter finish , please , ”[717-the waiter] [he]717-the waiter demands . [I]2959-i sit back in [my]2959-i chair , annoyed that [he]717-the waiter wants to speak first . “ The thing is , if [you]186-jameson ’re with [me]2959-i — married to [me]2959-i — [your]186-jameson life is going to be all those things . ”[2959-i] The lump in [my]2959-i throat gets big . “ [I]717-the waiter love [you]186-jameson too much to let [you]186-jameson live that life , [Em]186-jameson . ”[717-the waiter] [He]717-the waiter ’s ending it again . [My]2959-i eyes fill with tears . [He]717-the waiter takes [my]2959-i hand over the table and lifts it to [his]717-the waiter mouth and gently kisses it . “ Do n’t cry . [I]717-the waiter hate that [you]186-jameson ’ve cried over [me]717-the waiter . ”[717-the waiter] [I]2959-i blink to try and get rid of these stupid tears . “ [I]2959-i made a decision to protect [you]186-jameson from that life . To push [you]186-jameson away . Because [I]2959-i knew that one day , [you]186-jameson would eventually be unhappy . . . and [I]2959-i just ca n’t live with that . ”[2959-i] “ It was n’t [your]186-jameson decision to make , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper angrily . [He]717-the waiter frowns . “ [My]717-the waiter job is to look after [you]186-jameson and make the hard calls , ones that [you]186-jameson ca n’t make for [yourself]186-jameson . ”[717-the waiter] “ [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stare at [him]717-the waiter through tears . “ But something happened while [I]717-the waiter was away from [you]186-jameson . ”[717-the waiter] [He]717-the waiter leans in and cups [my]2959-i face in [his]717-the waiter hand . “ [I]717-the waiter realized that [I]717-the waiter did n’t want any of those things either . ”[717-the waiter] [My]2959-i eyes search [his]717-the waiter . “ [I]717-the waiter ca n’t live without [you]186-jameson , [Em]186-jameson . [I]717-the waiter ’ve been so fucking miserable that it ’s been unbearable . ”[717-the waiter] [He]717-the waiter leans in and kisses [me]2959-i softly ; [his]717-the waiter eyes search [mine]2959-i as [he]717-the waiter dusts [his]717-the waiter thumb over [my]2959-i bottom lip . “ If [you]186-jameson do n’t want [me]2959-i as [I]2959-i am now , [I]2959-i ’ll resign from [Miles Media]68-miles media immediately , and [we]3423-we can move to bumfuck nowhere and , [I]2959-i do n’t know , live in [a fucking tent somewhere]3424-a fucking tent somewhere . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smirk . “ [You]186-jameson idiot , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [He]717-the waiter smiles as [he]717-the waiter holds [my]2959-i face in [his]717-the waiter hand . “ [I]717-the waiter love [you]186-jameson how [you]186-jameson are . [I]717-the waiter do n’t want [you]186-jameson to change anything . ”[717-the waiter] “ [You]186-jameson do ? ”[717-the waiter] “ But [I]2959-i do n’t . . . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pause as [I]2959-i try to articulate [my]2959-i feelings . “ How can [I]2959-i move on from how [you]186-jameson ’ve treated [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]717-the waiter do n’t know . ”[717-the waiter] “ [I]717-the waiter ca n’t just pretend that this has n’t happened , [Jameson]186-jameson . [You]186-jameson ’ve hurt [me]717-the waiter too deeply . ”[717-the waiter] “ [I]2154-an idiot know ; [I]2154-an idiot do n’t want [you]186-jameson to , ”[2154-an idiot] [he]2154-an idiot stammers . “ But ca n’t [we]3425-we just . . . ”[2154-an idiot] [He]2154-an idiot shrugs . “ Start dating again ? Take it slow . ”[2154-an idiot] [I]2959-i stare at [him]2154-an idiot as confusion fills [me]2959-i . “ [I]2959-i know it ’s going to take time to get back to where [we]3425-we were , but [we]3425-we have the rest of [our]3425-we lives . [We]3425-we can date and get to know each other properly this time . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sit back as [I]2959-i consider [his]2154-an idiot proposal , and [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i wine . “ [You]2154-an idiot know , [I]2154-an idiot always imagined that [I]2154-an idiot would find [[my]2154-an idiot dream guy]3426-my dream guy and fall in love , and then it would come to this big cheesy climax . ”[2154-an idiot] [He]2154-an idiot scrunches up [his]2154-an idiot nose . “ Cheesy climax ? That just sounds wrong . ”[2154-an idiot] [I]2959-i giggle as [I]2959-i imagine what [he]2154-an idiot must be thinking about . “ No , [I]2959-i meant proposal . ”[2959-i] “ [You]2154-an idiot want a cheesy proposal ? ”[2154-an idiot] [He]2154-an idiot frowns . “ Would n’t [you]2154-an idiot want a romantic proposal ? ”[2154-an idiot] “ Not really . [My]2959-i point is , this is n’t how [I]2959-i imagined things would go . ”[2959-i] “ [Me]2154-an idiot neither . ”[2154-an idiot] [He]2154-an idiot takes [my]2959-i hands in [his]2154-an idiot . “ Far from it . [I]2154-an idiot ’m officially [an idiot]2154-an idiot . Give [me]2154-an idiot another chance , [Em]2154-an idiot . [I]2154-an idiot wo n’t fuck it up , [I]2154-an idiot promise . ”[2154-an idiot] [I]2959-i stare at [him]2154-an idiot . “ [I]2154-an idiot love [you]2154-an idiot ; [you]2154-an idiot love [me]2154-an idiot . ”[2154-an idiot] [He]2154-an idiot shrugs . “ [We]3427-we can work through this , and then hopefully in time , [you]2154-an idiot can forget it ever happened , and [you]2154-an idiot can live happily ever after with [an outdoorsy Kung Fu Panda]2154-an idiot . ”[2154-an idiot] [He]2154-an idiot smiles hopefully . “ [You]2154-an idiot ’re [an idiot]2154-an idiot , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles . ”[2154-an idiot] “ Who ’s hopelessly in love with [you]2154-an idiot . ”[2154-an idiot] [He]2154-an idiot leans over and kisses [me]2959-i softly , and [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i resistance fade . “ [I]2154-an idiot love [you]2154-an idiot , cheesecake , ”[2154-an idiot] [he]2154-an idiot whispers . “ Do n’t call [me]2154-an idiot fucking cheesecake . ”[2154-an idiot] [He]2154-an idiot chuckles against [my]2959-i lips . “ Too far ? ”[2154-an idiot] “ Way too far . ”[2172-we] Chapter 26 [We]2172-we walk down [the street]550-the street toward [[my]2959-i apartment]766-my apartment , hand in hand . [Jameson]186-jameson is being overattentive and talking nonstop , and [I]2959-i am quiet . [I]2959-i ’m annoyed that with just one dinner meeting , [I]2959-i find [myself]2959-i [here]385-new york with [him]186-jameson . [I]2959-i ’m officially a pushover . Weak as water . [His]2154-an idiot phone beeps with a text , and [he]2154-an idiot shuffles around in [his]2154-an idiot pocket to retrieve it and smiles . “ [Tristan]2430-tristan . ”[2154-an idiot] [He]2154-an idiot reads the text out loud “ How did it go ? ”[2154-an idiot] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes . “ Text back , ‘ Not out of [the woods]3429-the woods yet . Still may be found dead in a ditch tomorrow . ’ ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson smirks . “ No , [I]2154-an idiot ’m not writing that . If it actually happens , [I]2154-an idiot do n’t want [you]3430-you to go to [prison]3210-prison . ”[2154-an idiot] [He]2154-an idiot turns to face [me]2959-i and tucks a piece of [my]2959-i hair behind [my]2959-i ear . “ [You]3430-you would n’t kill [me]2154-an idiot . ”[2154-an idiot] [He]2154-an idiot leans in and kisses [me]2959-i softly . [My]2959-i eyes hold [his]2154-an idiot . “ Would n’t [I]2154-an idiot ? ”[2154-an idiot] [He]2154-an idiot smiles and then takes [my]2959-i hand as [we]2176-we walk toward the door . [I]2959-i stop on the spot . “ Good night , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i announce . “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ [You]3430-you ’re not coming in . ”[2959-i] “ Why not ? ”[2959-i] “ [Jameson]186-jameson , [I]2959-i am still eighty percent pissed off with [you]3430-you . ”[2959-i] “ Yes . [I]2154-an idiot know . Let [me]2154-an idiot make it up to [you]3430-you . ”[2154-an idiot] [He]2154-an idiot smiles darkly . [I]2959-i pull out of [his]2154-an idiot arms and step back from [him]2154-an idiot . “ There is nothing sexual that [you]3430-you could do that would make up for how [you]3430-you have treated [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [His]2154-an idiot face falls . “ When [I]2154-an idiot agreed to try again , it was just that . . . to try again . [I]2154-an idiot ’m not promising anything , and [I]2154-an idiot do n’t know how this is going to turn out . [I]2154-an idiot honestly do n’t know if [we]3432-we can get back what [we]3432-we had . The morning [you]3430-you left [me]2154-an idiot after the second stopover , [you]3430-you broke something between [us]3432-we . [I]2154-an idiot have never been so upset in all of [my]2154-an idiot life . It was devastating for [me]2154-an idiot . Having sex with [you]3430-you now is the very last thing that [I]2154-an idiot want to do . ”[2154-an idiot] “ Em , ”[2154-an idiot] [he]2154-an idiot whispers . “ [I]2154-an idiot could n’t talk to [you]3430-you because it killed [me]2154-an idiot to push [you]3430-you away . [I]2154-an idiot was battling [myself]2154-an idiot over it . ”[2154-an idiot] “ Good night , [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[2154-an idiot] [He]2154-an idiot looks around in a fluster . “ Well , when will [I]2959-i see [you]3430-you again ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug . “ It ’s Thursday , and [I]2959-i ’m away for the weekend , so next week , [I]2959-i guess . ”[2959-i] “ Next week ? ”[2154-an idiot] [he]2154-an idiot huffs . “ That ’s like four days away . ”[2154-an idiot] “ Is it ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply flatly as [I]2959-i begin to dig in [my]2959-i bag for [my]2959-i keys . [I]2959-i really do need to get a better system in this damn handbag ; it ’s like the fucking Bermuda Triangle in [here]385-new york . “ Well , that ’s too long , ”[2154-an idiot] [he]2154-an idiot stammers . “ [I]2154-an idiot have n’t seen [you]3430-you for a month . [I]2154-an idiot need more time with [you]3430-you . ”[2154-an idiot] “ Take it or leave it , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i reply . “ [Em]3433-em ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i turn and kiss [him]2154-an idiot softly on the lips , and [he]2154-an idiot snaps [his]2154-an idiot arms around [me]2959-i . [We]2178-we stay still for a few minutes in [each other]2339-each other ’s arms , holding on tight and needing the closeness that the other provides . [I]2959-i ’ve missed [him]2154-an idiot desperately , and it would be so easy to take [him]2154-an idiot [upstairs]2392-upstairs right now . No . . . [I]2959-i have serious trust issues that [I]2959-i need to deal with . [He]2154-an idiot needs to deal with . “ [I]2154-an idiot ’ll sleep on [the lounge]252-the lounge , ”[2154-an idiot] [he]2154-an idiot whispers . “ [I]2154-an idiot ca n’t be away from [you]2154-an idiot for one more night . Do n’t ask that of [me]2154-an idiot . ”[2154-an idiot] [I]2959-i pull away , knowing where this is going if [I]2959-i stay in [his]2154-an idiot arms . “ Good night , [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[2154-an idiot] [His]2154-an idiot eyes search [mine]2181-mine as [he]2154-an idiot silently begs to come [upstairs]2392-upstairs . [I]2959-i force a smile and open [my]2959-i door as [he]2154-an idiot stands on [the pavement]2134-the pavement . [I]2959-i give [him]2154-an idiot a wave and disappear into [the elevator]375-the elevator as [he]2154-an idiot watches on . The elevator doors close , and [I]2959-i blow out a breath of relief . [Good girl]57-claudia . . . stay strong . [I]2959-i put [my]2959-i lipstick on and smile at [my]2959-i reflection in the mirror . [Jameson]186-jameson called [me]2959-i when [he]186-jameson got [home]2289-home last night to say good night . It feels strangely good to have [him]186-jameson back in [my]2959-i life . . . but for how long ? [I]2959-i have this annoying little voice in [my]2959-i psyche that keeps reminding [me]2959-i what [he]186-jameson did and how badly [he]186-jameson treated [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i ’m trying to listen to [his]186-jameson reasoning and trust what [he]186-jameson ’s saying , but it ’s hard to pretend that nothing has happened between [us]2186-us . It was n’t nothing ; it was [Armageddon]237-armageddon , and [my]2959-i entire world crashed at [my]2959-i feet . [I]2959-i do n’t like the way [I]2959-i depend on [Jameson Miles]186-jameson for [my]2959-i happiness . It wo n’t happen again ; [I]2959-i wo n’t allow it . . . even if that means holding [him]186-jameson at arm ’s length for the rest of [my]2959-i life . . . or however long [we]2187-we ’re together . See , there it is again . Negative thoughts . . . ugh . [I]2959-i make [my]2959-i way [downstairs]2454-downstairs with [[my]2959-i luggage]2189-my luggage for the weekend with [me]2959-i and out the front doors to see [Jameson]186-jameson leaning up against the wall — navy suit , gorgeous face , and a swoony smile . . . just for [me]2959-i . “ Good morning , [[my]186-jameson beautiful girl]2959-i . ”[186-jameson] “ Hi . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile up at [him]186-jameson . [He]186-jameson leans down and takes [my]2959-i face in [his]186-jameson hands and kisses [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i knees weaken underneath [me]2959-i . “ How did [[my]186-jameson girl]2959-i sleep ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson takes [my]2959-i hand in [his]186-jameson and takes [my]2959-i suitcase from [me]2959-i . “ Fine , thanks . ”[186-jameson] “ Can [we]3435-we get a civilized lift to work today ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson asks . [I]2959-i glance over and see [Alan]246-alan and the limo parked at [the curb across [the street]550-the street]2190-the curb across the street . “ Um . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ [You]246-alan go with [Alan]246-alan . [I]186-jameson want to catch [the bus]2369-there . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson raises an eyebrow as if unimpressed . “ Okay , [bus]2369-there [it]2369-there is . ”[186-jameson] “ [You]246-alan do n’t have to walk [me]186-jameson to work , [Jameson]186-jameson . [I]186-jameson ’m quite capable of getting [myself]186-jameson [there]2369-there . ”[186-jameson] “ [I]186-jameson know ; [I]186-jameson just want to spend the twenty minutes with [you]246-alan . [I]186-jameson ’m not seeing [you]246-alan all weekend , remember ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson gives [me]2959-i a sexy wink , and [my]2959-i stomach does a nervous flip . [We]2192-we walk to [the bus]2054-the bus stop hand in hand . “ Have [you]246-alan heard anything more about [Lara Aspin]125-lara aspin and [Hayden]266-jim ? ”[2192-we] “ No . [They]2192-we ’ve been charged , but the court case wo n’t be for a while . [I]2959-i ca n’t believe [you]246-alan solved it . [You]246-alan do n’t know how grateful [I]2959-i am to [you]246-alan . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile , feeling proud of [myself]2959-i . “ How do [you]246-alan like [your]246-alan new job ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson asks . [I]2959-i shrug . “ It ’s great . ”[2959-i] [His]186-jameson eyes hold [mine]2959-i . “ Great as in ‘ really great , ’ or great as in ‘ it will do ’ ? ”[2959-i] “ Great as in ‘ [I]2959-i ’m getting used to it . ’ ”[2959-i] “ Why do n’t [you]246-alan come back to [Miles Media]68-miles media ? ”[2959-i] “ No . [I]2959-i ’ll be keeping [our]2195-our work lives separate from now on . ”[2959-i] “ Hmm . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson frowns , unimpressed . “ [We]2195-our ’ll see . ”[186-jameson] [The bus]2054-the bus arrives , and [we]2195-our make [our]2195-our way on . It ’s crowded today , and [I]2959-i find a seat , but [Jameson]186-jameson has to stand . [He]186-jameson ’s squashed between [a smelly man]2196-a smelly man and [a woman who looks like [she]2197-a woman who looks like she has rabies has rabies]2197-a woman who looks like she has rabies . [I]2959-i sit and watch [him]186-jameson and the horror on [his]186-jameson face as [he]186-jameson watches [the people around [him]186-jameson]2198-the people around him . [I]2959-i have to bite [my]2959-i lip to stop [myself]2959-i from laughing . Eventually [the bus]2054-the bus pulls to [our]2195-our stop , and [he]186-jameson gets off in a rush . “ That ’s it , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson scoffs as [he]186-jameson brushes [his]186-jameson suit off like the snob that [he]186-jameson is . “ [No more fucking buses]3437-no more fucking buses . [We]2195-our need to be disinfected right now . Did [you]3438-you see [the people on [that fucking bus]2054-the bus]3439-the people on that fucking bus ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i giggle . “ That was just a bad trip . ”[2959-i] “ [I]186-jameson mean it , [Emily]186-jameson , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson snaps . “ [No more fucking buses]3437-no more fucking buses . [Alan]246-alan is now [[your]246-alan driver]246-alan . Over [my]186-jameson dead body are [we]2199-we catching [another bus]3441-another bus . ”[186-jameson] “ Yes , [boss]246-alan . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as [he]186-jameson takes [my]2959-i hand in [his]186-jameson , and [we]2199-we begin [our]2199-we walk to work . “ What time does [your]246-alan flight leave tonight ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson asks . “ Three . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson face falls . “ [You]246-alan ’re going early ? ”[186-jameson] “ Yes . [I]186-jameson have a half day today . ”[186-jameson] “ [I]186-jameson was going to take [you]246-alan to [the airport]254-the airport . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson frowns as [he]186-jameson stares down at [me]2959-i . “ [I]186-jameson have a board meeting at four ; [I]186-jameson ca n’t get out of it . ”[186-jameson] “ That ’s fine . ”[186-jameson] “ Shit . . . maybe [I]186-jameson can cancel ? ”[186-jameson] “ [Jameson]186-jameson , it ’s fine . [You]246-alan are not canceling a meeting to take [me]186-jameson to [the airport]254-the airport . Stop it . [You]246-alan will see [me]186-jameson when [you]246-alan see [me]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson stares at [me]2959-i as [he]186-jameson processes [my]2959-i words . “ [Alan]246-alan will collect [you]246-alan . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i nod , knowing that if [I]2959-i do n’t agree , [he]186-jameson will in fact cancel [his]186-jameson meeting . “ Okay . ”[186-jameson] [We]2200-we arrive at [my]2959-i work , and [he]186-jameson turns [me]2959-i toward [him]186-jameson . “ [You]246-alan ’ll call [me]186-jameson the minute [you]246-alan land ? ”[186-jameson] “ No . ”[186-jameson] “ Why not ? ”[186-jameson] “ [I]186-jameson ’ll call [you]246-alan before [I]186-jameson go to bed . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson stares at [me]2959-i . “ What are [you]246-alan doing this weekend ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ [[My]2959-i brothers]2616-my brothers are all going to [Vegas]27-vegas tonight . ”[2959-i] “ Are [you]246-alan ? ”[2959-i] “ No . ”[2959-i] “ Why not ? ”[2959-i] “ [They]2616-my brothers ’re chasing booze and [wild women]3444-wild women . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i face falls . [He]186-jameson wraps [his]186-jameson arms around [me]2959-i . “ [I]186-jameson already have [[my]186-jameson wild woman]3445-my wild woman ; [I]186-jameson ’m not interested in what [they]2616-my brothers are looking for . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i smile up at [him]186-jameson , surprisingly grateful that [he]186-jameson ’s not going . “ Will [you]246-alan miss [me]186-jameson ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers . “ Probably not . ”[186-jameson] “ [You]246-alan probably could try and be flirtier in [our]2201-our conversations , [you]246-alan know ? ”[186-jameson] “ Could [I]2201-our ? ”[2201-our] [Our]2201-our lips touch , and [he]186-jameson kisses [me]2959-i softly . “ Are [you]246-alan sure [you]246-alan have to go ? ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson murmurs against [my]2959-i lips . “ Yes , [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] “ [I]186-jameson love [you]246-alan , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers . [My]2959-i heart somersaults in [my]2959-i chest at hearing those precious words . “ Have a nice day . ”[186-jameson] “ That ’s not what [I]186-jameson wanted to hear . ”[186-jameson] “ But that ’s all [you]246-alan ’re getting . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i kiss [him]186-jameson quickly and pull out of [his]186-jameson arms . “ Please stop pressuring [me]186-jameson . [I]186-jameson ’ll call [you]246-alan tonight . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson puts [his]186-jameson two hands into [his]186-jameson suit pockets and smiles sexily as [he]186-jameson watches [me]2959-i walk into [the building]361-the building . [I]2959-i get into [the elevator]375-the elevator with a hammering heart and flushed cheeks . Why is [he]186-jameson so damn gorgeous ? [I]2959-i walk out of work just after one o’clock and see [the limo]678-the limo and [Alan]246-alan standing beside it . [He]246-alan smiles warmly and opens the back door as if gesturing for [me]2959-i to get in . [I]2959-i smile and make [my]2959-i way over to [him]246-alan . [I]2959-i have n’t heard from [Jameson]186-jameson all day and was n’t sure if [Alan]246-alan was in fact coming to collect [me]2959-i . “ Hello . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan smiles warmly . “ Hello , [Emily]186-jameson . It ’s so lovely to see [you]186-jameson . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i get into the back of [the limo]678-the limo and find a lone red rose on the back seat , waiting for [me]2959-i . Oh . [I]2959-i smile and inhale it deeply ; a beautiful perfume fills the space . [The car]369-the car pulls out from [the curb]549-the curb , and [I]2959-i get a vision of [myself]2959-i stomping on the yellow roses the other night . [Maniac]238-maniac . [I]2959-i was half hoping that [Jameson]186-jameson would be in [the car]369-the car waiting for [me]2959-i . Should [I]2959-i even be going away right now ? Is n’t sorting this out with [him]186-jameson more important ? No . [You]2207-you had these plans before [he]186-jameson decided to waltz back in . . . stick to [them]2208-them . [I]2959-i should call and thank [him]186-jameson , though . [I]2959-i dial [his]186-jameson number . “ Hello , ”[186-jameson] [his]186-jameson sexy voice purrs down the line . [My]2959-i stomach flutters at the sound of [his]186-jameson voice . “ Hi , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i breathe . “ Are [you]186-jameson with [Alan]246-alan ? ”[2959-i] “ [I]186-jameson am . Thank [you]186-jameson for [my]186-jameson rose . ”[186-jameson] “ So red is better ? ”[2959-i] “ Seems that way . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i feel [my]2959-i face blush in embarrassment . “ Mental note to never buy anything yellow ever again . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i giggle , embarrassed . “ [You]186-jameson have a good weekend , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson eventually replies . “ [You]186-jameson too . ”[186-jameson] “ [I]2959-i ’m not going to call [you]186-jameson this weekend . ”[2959-i] “ Why not ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ [Your]186-jameson words are playing on [my]2959-i mind . ”[2959-i] “ What words ? ”[186-jameson] “ [You]186-jameson told [me]2959-i not to force this between [us]3446-us . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i listen . “ [I]2959-i ’m stepping back . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i heart drops . “ [You]186-jameson ’re giving up ? ”[2959-i] “ No . Just the opposite ; [I]2959-i ’m making plans for [our]3446-us future . But [I]2959-i understand that [you]186-jameson need time . [Me]2959-i forcing [you]186-jameson to forgive [me]2959-i before [you]186-jameson ’re ready may not be the smartest move . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile softly as [I]2959-i listen , hope blooming in [my]2959-i chest . “ [You]186-jameson just call [me]2959-i whenever [you]186-jameson want to speak to [me]2959-i , ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i says . “ Okay . ”[2959-i] “ And that could be fifty times a day . [I]2959-i ’ll be waiting for [your]186-jameson call like [a lovesick schoolboy]3447-a lovesick schoolboy . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i hang on the line . . . [I]2959-i really do want to see [him]2959-i this weekend . No . “ Okay . ”[2959-i] “ Goodbye , [Emily]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ Goodbye , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [I]2959-i hang up , smell [my]2959-i rose , and smile sadly out the window as [New York]385-new york flies by . [I]2959-i feel like [I]2959-i ’m in a subspace . Caught between [two men]2115-two men , each with [their]2115-two men own memory — one of [Jameson Miles]186-jameson ’s coldhearted dismissal and [the other of playful Jim]2210-the other of playful jim ’s overwhelming love . Each time [I]2959-i feel [myself]2959-i leaning toward one , the other jumps in [my]2959-i way . [I]2959-i ’m not sure how to turn this off , but [I]2959-i need to work it out . . . and sooner rather than later . Half an hour later [the limo]678-the limo pulls up at [the airport]254-the airport , and [Alan]246-alan opens [my]2959-i door . [I]2959-i clutch [my]2959-i rose in [my]2959-i hand , knowing that [I]2959-i ca n’t take it in . [Alan]246-alan retrieves [my]2959-i bag from the trunk . “ Would [you]246-alan like [me]246-alan to carry this in for [you]246-alan ? ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan asks . “ No , thank [you]246-alan . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i look down at [my]2959-i rose . [I]2959-i feel strangely attached to it and ca n’t stand the thought of it dying . “ Would [you]246-alan be able to put the rose in some water for [me]246-alan , please ? ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i ask [him]246-alan . [He]246-alan smiles warmly . “ Of course . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan takes it from [me]2959-i . “ [I]246-alan ’ll put it in water at [[Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles ’s apartment]3448-mr. miles ’s apartment for [you]246-alan . ”[246-alan] “ Thank [you]246-alan . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shrug , suddenly feeling stupid . “ Goodbye , [Alan]246-alan . ”[2959-i] “ [I]246-alan ’ll see [you]246-alan on Sunday when [we]3449-we pick [you]246-alan up . ”[246-alan] “ Okay . ”[2959-i] With a meek wave , [I]2959-i make [my]2959-i way to the check - in desk , and surprisingly there ’s no line today . “ Hello . [I]2959-i have a booking for [Emily Foster]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i slide [my]2959-i license across the desk to the check - in clerk . “ Hello . ”[2213-she] [She]2213-she types [my]2959-i name into [her]2213-she computer . “ Ah yes , [Ms. Foster]126-ms. foster . [I]2959-i see [you]126-ms. foster have amended [your]126-ms. foster booking to first class . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . “ No . ”[2213-she] [She]2213-she rechecks the details . “ Yes , [your]126-ms. foster two tickets were upgraded late last night . ”[2213-she] “ Two tickets ? ”[186-jameson] “ Yes , a second was booked , and then [they]3450-they were both upgraded . ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson . “ Oh , [I]2959-i see . Okay , thank [you]126-ms. foster . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i collect [my]2959-i ticket and walk through security and make [my]2959-i way to [the bar]459-the bar . [I]2959-i have nearly two hours before [my]2959-i flight leaves . “ What will it be ? ”[2215-the bartender] [the bartender]2215-the bartender asks as [I]2959-i take a seat . “ A margarita , please . ”[2215-the bartender] [I]2959-i text [Jameson]186-jameson . [Mr Miles]79-mr. miles , thank [you]79-mr. miles for the upgrade . It is very much appreciated . Tell [me]2959-i , was the second seat for [you]79-mr. miles or to make sure [I]2959-i did n’t sit next to [someone else]433-someone else ? [My]2959-i drink is delivered , and a text bounces back . [[My]2959-i dear [Miss Foster]126-ms. foster]2217-my dear miss foster , [I]2959-i am outraged that [you]2217-my dear miss foster would think [I]2959-i could be so calculating . Of course , [I]2959-i do n’t want [you]2217-my dear miss foster sitting next to [anyone else]527-anyone else . [I]2959-i know how irresistible [you]2217-my dear miss foster are . xoxox [I]2959-i smile as [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i drink , and another text arrives . Although , if [I]2959-i was n’t playing hard to get and being non - pushy . [I]2959-i would have taken [you]2217-my dear miss foster on [the company jet]2219-the company jet and initiated [you]2217-my dear miss foster to [the real Miles High Club]2220-the real miles high club . [You]2217-my dear miss foster would n’t walk for a week . Enjoy the peaceful silence . xoxox [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i lips to hide [my]2959-i smile , and [I]2959-i text back . Goodbye [Jameson]186-jameson . Glad that [your]2217-my dear miss foster deviant behavior is still alive and well . [I]2959-i was getting worried . xoxoxo A text comes straight in . [You]2217-my dear miss foster have no idea . And no watching [Magic Mike]60-michael , watch [Grumpy Old Men]239-grumpy old men instead . It will make [me]2959-i more appealing . xoxox [I]2959-i sip [my]2959-i drink and find [myself]2959-i smiling goofily into space . Things are going well . . . for the first time in a long time , [I]2959-i feel [myself]2959-i become a little excited for what ’s to come . [Let]240-let ’s see what happens . [I]2959-i stare at the ceiling in the darkness from [my]2959-i bed . It ’s midnight . [[My]2959-i old bedroom]2221-my old bedroom brings a surprising comfort that [I]2959-i did n’t know [I]2959-i needed . It ’s great being here with [[my]2959-i family]2619-my family , but [New York]385-new york seems so very far away . [I]2959-i did n’t call [Jameson]186-jameson like [I]2959-i said [I]2959-i would ; in fact [I]2959-i have n’t spoken to [him]186-jameson all night . Being here with [people who love [me]2959-i]2223-people who love me makes [me]2959-i realize how fragile [I]2959-i ’ve been . [I]2959-i was completely alone and heartbroken in [New York]385-new york . [I]2959-i mean sure , [I]2959-i had [Molly]198-molly and [Aaron]0-aaron , but [I]2959-i ’ve known [them]2619-my family all of three months . It ’s not the same as having [family]2224-family around , [the ones who will stand by [your]2226-your side through thick and thin]2225-the ones who will stand by your side through thick and thin . [I]2959-i do n’t know where [I]2959-i ’m going with [Jameson]186-jameson , only that [I]2959-i did n’t want to speak to [him]186-jameson tonight . Why ? Maybe [I]2959-i ’m never going to let go of this hurt ; maybe [he]186-jameson ’s done irreversible damage . Maybe [I]2959-i ’m too good for [him]186-jameson and [his]186-jameson shit . . . there ’s no maybe in that sentence — [I]2959-i know [I]2959-i am . [My]2959-i phone vibrates on the side table , and [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i see the letter [J]127-j light up . [I]2959-i exhale heavily and answer , “ Hello . ”[2959-i] “ Hi . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson pauses for a moment . “ [You]186-jameson were n’t calling [me]186-jameson tonight ? ”[186-jameson] “ [I]186-jameson got distracted . ”[186-jameson] Silence down the phone . Eventually [he]186-jameson speaks . “ [Em]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] “ Yes . ”[186-jameson] “ Did [you]186-jameson go there to get away from [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i roll [my]2959-i eyes in frustration . “ No , [Jameson]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper angrily . “ Why is everything about [you]186-jameson ? [I]2959-i booked this trip two weeks ago . ”[2959-i] “ Okay , [I]241-tears just asked . [Jesus]107-jesus . Why are [you]186-jameson so angry ? ”[241-tears] [Tears]241-tears form in [my]2959-i eyes . “ [You]186-jameson really have to ask ? ”[241-tears] “ [You]186-jameson tell [me]2959-i why . ”[2959-i] Suddenly a volcano that [I]2959-i did n’t even know was there erupts inside of [me]2959-i . “ Because [I]2959-i ’m in love with [a selfish fucking asshole]3451-a selfish fucking asshole , and [I]2959-i do n’t know how to turn it off , and [I]2959-i ’m waiting for the other shoe to drop and for [you]186-jameson walk away again , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i blurt out in a rush . [He]2227-he stays silent . “ And the way [you]186-jameson just march back in and demand [my]2227-he forgiveness pisses [me]2227-he off . ”[2227-he] [He]2227-he listens . “ And [you]186-jameson could have [any woman in [the world]249-the world]3452-any woman in the world ; [they]3452-any woman in the world are lining up for [you]186-jameson . So why are [you]186-jameson putting [me]2227-he through this shit ? [I]2227-he do n’t want the heartache , [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[2227-he] “ Is that what [you]186-jameson think ? That [I]241-tears want [any woman in [the world]249-the world]3452-any woman in the world ? ”[241-tears] [Tears]241-tears roll down [my]2959-i face , and [I]2959-i swipe them away angrily . “ [I]241-tears have no idea what [you]186-jameson want anymore , [Jameson]186-jameson . ”[241-tears] “ Cut the fucking shit , [Emily]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i snaps . “ [You]186-jameson listen , and [you]186-jameson listen good . [I]2959-i do n’t want [anyone else]527-anyone else . [I]2959-i ’ve been promiscuous since [I]2959-i was eighteen years old . [I]2959-i ’ve slept with [a lot of [women]276-women]2928-a lot of women . . . and [I]2959-i mean [a lot of [women]276-women]2928-a lot of women . [You]2928-a lot of women are the only person [I]2959-i have ever had this connection with . [The only woman [I]2959-i have loved like this]3457-the only woman i have loved like this . So do n’t [you]2928-a lot of women dare throw that shit at [me]2959-i about wanting [someone else]433-someone else . Have [I]2959-i ever given [you]2928-a lot of women any reason to doubt [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] “ [Your]2928-a lot of women masseuse , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i snap . “ Was before [I]2959-i fucking met [you]2928-a lot of women , ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i growls . [I]2959-i can hear the anger in [his]2959-i voice . “ If [you]2928-a lot of women do n’t want [me]2959-i , then fine , [I]2959-i ’ll leave . But do n’t let [me]2959-i hold out and try desperately to make things work when [you]2928-a lot of women ’re obviously not going to let [me]2959-i in . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i face contorts with tears . “ Only [you]2928-a lot of women can decide if [you]2928-a lot of women want this , [Emily]186-jameson . Forgiveness is a choice . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stay silent . “ Do [you]2928-a lot of women want to walk away from [me]2959-i , or do [you]2928-a lot of women want to try and make this work ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i do n’t answer [him]2959-i . “ Well ? ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i demands . “ [You]2928-a lot of women know [I]2959-i want to try , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Then stop thinking of the bad shit , and think of the good between [us]3459-us . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i ca n’t . ”[2959-i] “ Why not ? ”[2959-i] “ Because [you]2928-a lot of women scare [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i falls silent . “ [You]2928-a lot of women ’re scared of [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] “ Yes . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i nod through tears . “ [Baby]215-baby , ”[2959-i] [he]2959-i whispers as empathy floods [his]2959-i voice . “ Do n’t be scared of [me]2959-i . Please , do n’t ever be scared of [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i love [you]2928-a lot of women . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i ’m trying . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sob . “ But [I]2959-i ca n’t help it . ”[2959-i] [We]2228-we both stay silent for a while , lost in [our]2228-we own thoughts . “ [I]2959-i want [you]2928-a lot of women to take this weekend to think about [us]2228-we . [I]2959-i was serious about what [I]2959-i said — if [you]2928-a lot of women do n’t want to live in [New York]385-new york , [we]2228-we can move . [I]2959-i ’ll resign from [my]2959-i position immediately . ”[2959-i] “ [Jameson]186-jameson , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sigh . “ Why would [you]2928-a lot of women do that ? ”[2959-i] “ Because [I]2959-i want [you]2928-a lot of women to know that [you]2928-a lot of women come first to [me]2959-i now . All of this shit — [my]2959-i money , [[my]2959-i apartment]766-my apartment , [my]2959-i job , [New York]385-new york — it means nothing if [I]2959-i ’m fucking miserable , [Emily]186-jameson . And believe [me]2959-i , [I]2959-i am fucking miserable without [you]186-jameson . If [you]186-jameson want to live in a tent in [the back of bumfuck nowhere]3461-the back of bumfuck nowhere , [we]3462-we can . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i get a vision of [Jameson]186-jameson living in [a tent]1616-a tent and being eaten by mosquitos on the daily . “ [[You]186-jameson idiot]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile softly . “ [I]2959-i do n’t want to live in [a tent]1616-a tent . [I]2959-i love [New York]385-new york . [I]2959-i love [you]186-jameson running [Miles Media]14-miles media . [I]2959-i would n’t change anything about [you]186-jameson . Why would [you]186-jameson think that [I]2959-i would ? ”[2959-i] “ Because [I]2959-i ’m a lot to take on , [I]2959-i know that . [You]186-jameson said to [me]2959-i once before that to love is to be brave . [I]2959-i need [you]186-jameson to be brave , [Emily]186-jameson , and move forward from all this . Please think about it . Come back to [New York]385-new york and back to [me]2959-i one hundred percent , and [we]3463-we can start working on a new life together . Holding [me]2959-i at arm ’s distance is n’t the way to navigate this . [We]3463-we wo n’t be able to work it out if [we]3463-we ’re not together . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2959-i know , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ Will [you]186-jameson think about what [you]186-jameson really want ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stay silent . “ Please , [Em]3464-em ? ”[2959-i] “ Yes , okay . [I]2959-i will . [I]2959-i promise . ”[2959-i] The line falls silent for a moment , and [I]2959-i want to change the subject . “ What are [you]186-jameson doing tomorrow ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ Shopping . ”[2959-i] “ Shopping — [you]186-jameson ? What are [you]186-jameson shopping for ? ”[2959-i] “ Well , where do [you]186-jameson get the tents with bathrooms in [them]3465-them ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile . “ Bumfuck nowhere . ”[2959-i] [He]2959-i chuckles , and it ’s a beautiful sound ; it does things to [my]2959-i insides . It ’s been a long time since [I]2959-i heard [him]2959-i laugh . “ Em . . . [I]2959-i ’m not going to speak to [you]186-jameson again until [I]2959-i pick [you]186-jameson up from [the airport]254-the airport on Sunday night . [I]2959-i want [you]186-jameson to really think about [your]186-jameson future and who [you]186-jameson want in it . Either [you]186-jameson come back to [me]2959-i with open arms , and [we]3467-we give this a red - hot go , or [you]186-jameson end it . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i heart drops . “ It has to be this way . If [I]2959-i ca n’t have all of [you]186-jameson , [I]2959-i would rather be without [you]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i listen as [my]2959-i mind begins to go into overdrive . . . [he]2230-he ’s giving [me]2959-i an ultimatum . All or nothing . [I]2959-i honestly do n’t know if [I]2959-i can give [him]2230-he [my]2959-i all . [I]2959-i do n’t think [my]2959-i all exists anymore . “ [I]2230-he ’ll see [you]2230-he then ? ”[2230-he] [he]2230-he asks hopefully . “ Okay . ”[2230-he] “ [I]2230-he love [you]2230-he . ”[2230-he] [He]2230-he hangs up , and the line goes dead . [I]2959-i roll over in the darkness and exhale heavily . What do [I]2959-i want for [my]2959-i future ? Do [I]2959-i give [him]2230-he away . . . ? Or give [him]2230-he everything ? Or what ’s left of [my]2959-i heart , at least . It ’s been smashed to smithereens . [I]2959-i literally have no idea . Chapter 27 Jameson [I]2959-i tap [my]2959-i foot as [I]2959-i crane [my]2959-i neck to look at the traffic backed up in front . Shit . [I]2959-i press the buzzer to the front of [the limo]678-the limo . “ Are [we]3468-we going to be late ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask [Alan]246-alan . “ No , [sir]246-alan ; [we]3468-we ’re an hour early . Plenty of time . ”[2959-i] “ [I]186-jameson do n’t want to miss [her]186-jameson flight . Go the back way . ”[186-jameson] “ [You]246-alan wo n’t . Relax . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i sit back and try to control [my]2959-i nerves . [Emily]186-jameson has n’t contacted [me]2959-i all weekend , and [I]2959-i ’m pretty sure [she]186-jameson ’s coming [home]2289-home to end it between [us]2233-us . [I]2959-i ’ve run and run and run . The only time [I]2959-i have had any semblance of peace is when [I]2959-i ’ve pounded [the pavement around [New York]385-new york]2234-the pavement around new york . [I]2959-i ca n’t accept the possibility that [I]2959-i wo n’t be in [her]186-jameson life , that [she]186-jameson wo n’t be in [mine]2959-i . . . the thought sickens [me]2959-i . How could [I]2959-i have been so fucking stupid ? [I]2959-i ’ve been trying to pull a logical argument together in [my]2959-i head as to what [I]2959-i ’m going to say if [she]186-jameson ends it . . . so far [I]2959-i ’ve come up empty . [The limo]678-the limo pulls up at [the airport]254-the airport , and [I]2959-i climb out in a rush . “ [You]3469-you ’ll be [here]385-new york ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ask . “ No , [I]2959-i ’ll circle . Let [me]2959-i know when [you]3469-you have [her]186-jameson , and [I]2959-i ’ll come back around . [You]3469-you still have fifty minutes before [her]186-jameson plane lands . ”[2959-i] “ Yes , yes , [I]2959-i know . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i pat down [my]2959-i pockets as [I]2959-i look around nervously . “ Do [I]2959-i have everything ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ’m flustered and vague . “ Yes , [sir]246-alan . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i drop [my]2959-i shoulders and exhale heavily . “ Wish [me]246-alan luck . ”[246-alan] [Alan]246-alan smiles broadly and , with a jovial nod , says , “ Good luck , [sir]246-alan . ”[246-alan] [I]2959-i walk into [the airport]254-the airport and up to the arrival gate of [[her]2238-her plane]2239-her plane . [I]2959-i still have forty minutes . [I]2959-i look over to [the bar]459-the bar , and it calls [my]2959-i name in a sweet song . A scotch would be so good right now . . . take the edge off . No . [I]2959-i need to cut that shit out . [I]2959-i have n’t allowed [myself]2959-i to have a drink all weekend . [Emily]186-jameson deserves more than a drunk . With nerves racing through [my]2959-i body , [I]2959-i walk to one end of [the airport]254-the airport and then back to [the arrival lounge]2241-the arrival lounge . [I]2959-i glance at [my]2959-i watch . Thirty - five minutes to go . [I]2959-i do it again and again . [I]2959-i ca n’t sit still . Not when [I]2959-i know what ’s coming . [Emily]186-jameson [I]2959-i walk with [the crowd]265-the crowd into [the arrivals lounge]2241-the arrival lounge . [My]2959-i flight has just landed , and [my]2959-i heart is beating hard in [my]2959-i chest . [I]2959-i ’ve dug into the bottom of [my]2959-i soul this weekend , searching for the answers . Trying to work out what to do with [my]2959-i life and who to do it with . One thing is clear : the only thing that is clear . . . is who [I]2959-i love . [I]2959-i ca n’t deny it . [Jameson Miles]186-jameson is etched into [my]2959-i heart , and as petrified as [I]2959-i am of [him]186-jameson hurting [me]2959-i again , [his]186-jameson words keep coming back to [me]2959-i . “ To love is to be brave . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i ’m going to swallow [my]2959-i pride and be brave . [I]2959-i ’m going to let [myself]2959-i go . . . and hope to [God]0-aaron [I]2959-i ’m doing the right thing , because [I]2959-i ca n’t go through this again . [He]186-jameson comes into view , and [he]186-jameson smiles as [our]2243-we eyes lock . Excitement fills [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i do a little skip and begin to run , and [I]2959-i jump into [his]186-jameson waiting arms . [We]2243-we cling to each other tightly , locked in an embrace . [We]2243-we do n’t speak ; [we]2243-we do n’t kiss ; [we]2243-we just hold on . Clinging desperately to the hope that [we]2243-we can get past this . [My]2959-i shadows are chased away for a little while . “ [I]186-jameson missed [you]186-jameson , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers into [my]2959-i hair . “ [I]186-jameson missed [you]186-jameson too . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson bends , and [his]186-jameson lips take [mine]2959-i as [we]2243-we forget where [we]2243-we are . [His]186-jameson tongue slowly strokes through [my]2959-i open lips , and [he]186-jameson holds [my]2959-i face in [his]186-jameson two hands as [we]2243-we get lost in the moment . [His]186-jameson kiss is tender and , more importantly , familiar . With [him]186-jameson , [I]2959-i am [home]2289-home . An hour later , [we]2243-we walk into [[my]2959-i apartment]766-my apartment , hand in hand . [We]2243-we hardly spoke on the way [home]2289-home . [I]2959-i sat on [his]186-jameson lap , tucked safely in [his]186-jameson big arms , and enjoyed the closeness . [His]186-jameson lips dusted back and forth over [my]2959-i temple as [he]186-jameson held tight , as if not believing [I]2959-i was here with [him]186-jameson . [I]2959-i ’ve missed the closeness . [Our]2243-we closeness . It ’s not even about the sex with [us]2243-we anymore . [I]2959-i mean , it was in the beginning . But [my]2959-i heart has eclipsed any physical need that [my]2959-i mere body desires . . . and [I]2959-i know [he]186-jameson ’s the same . [He]186-jameson turns [me]2959-i toward [him]186-jameson , and [his]186-jameson eyes search [mine]2959-i . “ [Em]186-jameson . . . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson pauses as if trying to get the wording right in [his]186-jameson head . “ [I]186-jameson swear to [you]186-jameson , from this moment on . . . [you]186-jameson are [my]186-jameson everything . [Our]2246-we new life together . . . starts right now . ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i smile up at [him]186-jameson as [my]2959-i eyes fill with tears anew . “ [I]2959-i love [you]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] “ [I]2246-we love [you]186-jameson too . ”[2246-we] [We]2246-we kiss , and unlike the tenderness [we]2246-we have shared over the last hour , a new desperation fills [us]2246-we . Suddenly [I]2959-i want [him]186-jameson . . . all of [him]186-jameson . “ Take [me]186-jameson to bed . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson scoops [me]2959-i up and carries [me]2959-i into [the room]514-the room like [a bride]2248-a bride and stands [me]2959-i before [him]186-jameson . [His]186-jameson lips drop to [my]2959-i neck , and [I]2959-i smile at the ceiling as goose bumps scatter over [my]2959-i skin . [He]186-jameson bites [me]2959-i with an edge [I]2959-i remember so well . Oh , [I]2959-i ’ve missed [him]186-jameson . [I]2959-i lift [his]186-jameson shirt over [his]186-jameson head and throw it to the side , and [he]186-jameson does the same to [mine]2959-i . [We]2249-we become animals as [we]2249-we tear each other ’s clothes away . There is nothing between [us]2249-we now . Only skin . . . and love . [His]186-jameson lips tenderly take [mine]2959-i as [he]186-jameson lays [me]2959-i back on the bed , and [his]186-jameson lips go to [my]2959-i neck and then start to go lower , and [I]2959-i cling to [him]186-jameson . “ No , [I]2959-i need [you]2959-i up here with [me]2959-i . ”[2959-i] [We]2249-we stare at each other in some kind of otherworldly experience . This is special . [I]2959-i wish [I]2959-i could bottle this moment . “ Now , [Jim]266-jim , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper , “ [I]186-jameson need [you]2959-i now . ”[186-jameson] [His]186-jameson eyes close in pleasure as [he]186-jameson lies on top of [me]2959-i ; [our]2249-we lips are locked , [my]2959-i legs open and cradling [his]186-jameson large body as it rocks against [mine]2959-i , searching for its own release . With one deep purposeful thrust , [he]186-jameson slides [home]2289-home deep , and [we]2249-we both moan in pleasure . “ Fuck , [Em]186-jameson , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers into [my]2959-i neck . [I]2959-i cling to [him]186-jameson as [I]2959-i ride the pleasure wave between [us]2249-we . “ [I]2959-i know , [baby]336-yay , [I]2959-i know . ”[2959-i] [He]186-jameson pulls out and pushes back in , [my]2959-i body rising to meet [his]186-jameson . The need for more overwhelms [us]2249-we , and [I]2959-i begin to thrash beneath [him]186-jameson . “ Fuck [me]2959-i , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whimper . “ God , give it to [me]186-jameson hard . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson pulls out and slams back in , knocking the air from [my]2959-i lungs . [He]186-jameson repositions [my]2959-i legs over [his]186-jameson shoulders and , with dark eyes watching [me]2959-i struggle to take [him]186-jameson , begins to ride [me]2959-i . Long , sharp , punishing hits — the bed begins to hit the wall , and [I]2959-i can do nothing but watch the perfect male specimen in all [his]186-jameson glory . [Jameson Miles]186-jameson is the most sexual being [I]2959-i have ever known . Everything about [him]186-jameson screams “ fuck [me]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson] Watching [him]186-jameson in the throes of passion , where [he]186-jameson is grappling for control , is [every woman]2251-every woman ’s ultimate fantasy ; [he]186-jameson ’s like a sexual time bomb waiting to explode . Perspiration dusts [his]186-jameson skin ; [his]186-jameson dark hair hangs over [his]186-jameson forehead , and [his]186-jameson breath begins to quiver as [he]186-jameson struggles to hold off [his]186-jameson orgasm . [His]186-jameson pumps become piston fast , and the burn of [his]186-jameson possession overtakes [me]2959-i as [I]2959-i fall into the abyss . [I]2959-i cry out as an earth - shattering orgasm rips [me]2959-i to shreds . [My]2959-i body contracts hard around [his]186-jameson . “ Fuck , fuck , fuck , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson pushes out as [he]186-jameson slams repeatedly into [me]2959-i . The sound of the bed hitting the wall with force echoes through [the apartment]2627-the apartment . [He]186-jameson tips [his]186-jameson head back , holds [himself]186-jameson deep , and moans loud as [he]186-jameson comes hard , deep inside of [me]2959-i . And then [we]2253-we kiss , and [my]2959-i whole world returns to good . To the place [I]2959-i ’ve missed so , so much . The emotion between [us]2253-we is so strong that it brings tears to [my]2959-i eyes . “ Welcome [home]2289-home , fuck bunny , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson whispers against [my]2959-i lips . “ Welcome [home]2289-home . ”[186-jameson] One week later “ [We]2253-we need to do a follow - up story , a where - are - [they]2253-we - now kind of thing , ”[200-athena] [Athena]200-athena says as [we]2253-we stand together at the printer . “ Yes , [I]200-athena know . [I]200-athena ’m going to go over the notes this afternoon as soon as [I]200-athena get a chance . ”[200-athena] [The office]385-new york is a hive of activity today ; news has broken overnight . [A married senator]2255-a married senator has been caught in a scandal with [[his]2255-a married senator secretary]2255-a married senator , and the phones are ringing off the hook . [People]248-people are everywhere as [they]248-people try to decipher the truth as [the rumor mill]2257-the rumor mill spins into overdrive . [I]2959-i ’m having trouble concentrating , if [I]2959-i ’m honest . [I]2959-i ’m on a Jameson high . [I]2959-i think [I]2959-i can successfully say [I]2959-i ’ve joined [the Miles - High club]2346-the miles - high club . This last week has been . . . magical . [I]2959-i ’m completely and utterly in love with [this man]56-robbie . [We]2253-we moved [me]2959-i into [[his]56-robbie apartment]385-new york on the weekend . Any trepidation that [I]2959-i had has finally gone . [I]2959-i hear an unusual sound coming through [the office]385-new york , and [Athena]200-athena and [I]2959-i look up as [the office]385-new york watches on . [I]2959-i hear “ The Piña Colada Song , ”[2959-i] and [I]2959-i frown as [Jameson]186-jameson comes into view through the desks . [Tristan]2430-tristan is with [him]2430-tristan and holding an old - fashioned tape deck , and the familiar tune is blasting through [the office]385-new york . If [you]2261-you like piña coladas , And getting caught in the rain . “ What in [the world]249-the world ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown . [Jameson]186-jameson smiles hopefully as [he]186-jameson approaches [me]2959-i . [His]186-jameson eyes search [mine]2959-i . [The office]385-new york falls silent as [they]2262-they watch on . “ [Emily Foster]186-jameson , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson says . “ Yes ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson drops to [his]186-jameson knee , and [the office]385-new york collectively gasps . [My]2959-i hands fly over [my]2959-i mouth . “ Will [you]186-jameson marry [me]186-jameson ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson opens a black box and holds out a solitaire diamond ring . [I]2959-i stare at [him]186-jameson for a moment as [my]2959-i brain misfires . Is this real ? [I]2959-i look over to [Tristan]2430-tristan . [I]2959-i ’m in complete and utter shock . “ [I]2430-tristan ’m [the DJ]2430-tristan . ”[2430-tristan] [Tristan]2430-tristan grins as [he]186-jameson taps the tape recorder as if very proud of [himself]186-jameson . “ [You]186-jameson are crazy , ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . “ This proves it , ”[186-jameson] [Jameson]186-jameson mutters dryly as [he]186-jameson looks up at [me]2959-i from [his]186-jameson knee . [My]2959-i eyes are wide . [I]2959-i ’m shocked to [my]2959-i very core . “ Answer the question , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson says . [I]2959-i nod through giggles as “ The Pina Colada Song ”[2959-i] echoes through [the office]385-new york . “ Yes . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson slides the ring on [my]2959-i finger . It ’s an oval diamond on a thin gold band , and [I]2959-i stare at it , still completely in shock . [I]2959-i bend to [him]186-jameson , and [we]2264-we kiss as [the office]385-new york breaks into laughter and cheers . [They]2264-we clap as [we]2264-we laugh into [our]2264-we kiss . [I]2959-i ca n’t believe this is happening . [He]186-jameson stands and takes [me]2959-i into [his]186-jameson arms . “ [Cheesy]242-cheesy enough for [you]242-cheesy ? ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson smiles down at [me]2959-i . [I]2959-i giggle as [I]2959-i hold [him]186-jameson tight . “ Next level cheese — and perfect . [I]2959-i love [you]242-cheesy , [Mr. Miles]79-mr. miles . ”[2959-i] The song finishes , and [Tristan]2430-tristan presses play , and the song begins to repeat . [The workers]2657-the workers all cheer . [Jameson]186-jameson laughs in embarrassment and leans in to kiss [me]2959-i . “ The things [I]186-jameson would do for [you]242-cheesy , [Emily Foster]186-jameson , the things [I]186-jameson would do . ”[186-jameson] Epilogue One month later [I]2959-i read the story in the paper . [Hayden Morris]266-jim and [Lara Aspin]125-lara aspin were officially charged today with the embezzlement of seven million dollars from [Miles Media]14-miles media . In what has been described as [a modern Bonnie]2266-a modern bonnie and Clyde story , [the two , who have been dating for five years]2267-the two , who have been dating for five years , carried out the fraud over a period of three years . The crime may have gone unnoticed , and [they]2267-the two , who have been dating for five years were only caught when [Morris]266-jim was fired by [Miles Media]14-miles media . Fueled by a need for revenge , [they]2267-the two , who have been dating for five years stupidly decided to frame [Jameson Miles]186-jameson for the crime . In the backfire of all backfires , this decision sealed [their]2267-the two , who have been dating for five years fate . [The pair]2267-the two , who have been dating for five years will be serving prison time of ten years in [different state prisons]2268-different state prisons . [Jameson Miles]186-jameson has been cleared of any wrongdoing . [Miles Media]68-miles media reached a new height today on [the stock market]2269-the stock market since April 2018 . [I]2959-i smile broadly . It seems so long ago now that this all happened — a lifetime , if [I]2959-i ’m honest . Thank heavens it ’s all over . [We]2270-we have a wedding to plan . [He]186-jameson ’s given [me]2959-i three months . [We]2270-we have so much to do , so many decisions . Where will [we]2270-we get married ? [I]2959-i have no idea . [Jameson]186-jameson has said that [I]2959-i have to pick the destination because as long as [I]2959-i ’m there , [he]186-jameson does n’t care where it is . [I]2959-i wait on the curb in [the underground parking lot]2271-the underground parking lot . It ’s Friday afternoon . “ What did [he]246-alan say [he]246-alan was doing ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i frown at [Alan]246-alan . “ [I]246-alan think [you]246-alan will be pleasantly surprised . ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan smirks . [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i consider the possibilities . [Jameson]186-jameson has been acting weird all week . Taking secret phone calls and being all pleased with [himself]186-jameson . Maybe [he]186-jameson ’s secretly booked [the wedding venue]2272-the wedding venue ? [I]2959-i hope so — helps [me]2959-i out . [I]2959-i hear a crunch of gears , and [I]2959-i look up and frown . [Bessie]205-bessie is bunny hopping toward [us]2273-us with [Jameson]186-jameson behind the wheel , and [Alan]246-alan bursts out laughing . [My]2959-i mouth falls open in shock . “ What in [the world]249-the world ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper . [He]246-alan pulls up beside [me]2959-i , and [I]2959-i open the door . “ Going [my]246-alan way ? ”[246-alan] [He]246-alan smiles with a sexy wink . [I]2959-i laugh out loud . “ What are [you]246-alan doing ? ”[2959-i] “ Taking [you]246-alan away for a few days . ”[246-alan] “ [You]246-alan are ? ”[2959-i] “ [Your]246-alan things are already in the trunk . ”[2959-i] “ In [Bessie]205-bessie ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i stammer . “ Yes , in [Bitchy]206-bitchy . [I]2959-i borrowed [her]205-bessie from [Viagra Mike]49-viagra mike . Although [I]2959-i must tell [you]246-alan , [I]2959-i ’ve ordered [you]246-alan a new Range Rover . [Bessie]205-bessie is unbearable . ”[2959-i] “ [You]246-alan snob . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i giggle , then turn and hug [Alan]246-alan in excitement . [He]246-alan laughs . “ Have a great weekend , [Ms. Foster]126-ms. foster , ”[246-alan] [he]246-alan says as [he]246-alan helps [me]2959-i into [the car]369-the car . [I]2959-i lean over and grab [Jameson]186-jameson and kiss [his]186-jameson face . [I]2959-i love that [he]186-jameson borrowed [Bessie]205-bessie for [me]2959-i . [He]186-jameson honks the horn . “ Goodbye , [Alan]246-alan , ”[186-jameson] [he]186-jameson calls as [he]186-jameson does an overexaggerated wave . [I]2959-i laugh out loud at [his]186-jameson un - Jameson - like behavior . “ Goodbye , [Alan]246-alan . ”[2959-i] [We]2275-we bunny hop out of [the parking lot]1371-the parking lot , and [he]186-jameson takes [my]2959-i hand in [his]186-jameson and kisses the back of it . “ Where do [you]246-alan want to go , [my]186-jameson little fuck bunny ? ”[186-jameson] [I]2959-i smile over at [[my]2959-i beautiful man]186-jameson . “ Bumfuck nowhere . ”[2959-i] Two hours later [Jameson]186-jameson pulls into [the driveway of [Arndell]211-arndell]369-the car , and [I]2959-i bounce in [my]2959-i seat . “ [We]2278-we are going to [[our]2278-we house]3475-our house ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i shriek in excitement . “ Yes , [I]2959-i booked it for the weekend . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i unclip [my]2959-i seat belt and slide over and begin to smother [his]186-jameson face in kisses as [we]2278-we drive up [the driveway]369-the car while [he]186-jameson chuckles at [my]2959-i childlike behavior . [We]2278-we arrive at [the old house]2279-the old house , and [I]2959-i bounce out of [the car]369-the car before [the car]369-the car even stops and run up to the front door . [I]2959-i turn and stare out over the view of [the beautiful grounds]385-new york . “ Oh , [Jameson]186-jameson , [I]2959-i just love [this place]385-new york . ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i smile dreamily as [he]186-jameson walks up behind [me]2959-i . “ [I]186-jameson know . ”[186-jameson] [He]186-jameson hands [me]2959-i a key ring with a red ribbon bow tied to it . [I]2959-i frown as [I]2959-i stare down at it in [my]2959-i hand . “ That ’s why [I]2959-i bought it for [you]186-jameson . ”[2959-i] [My]2959-i eyes meet [his]186-jameson . “ What ? ”[2959-i] “ Uh - huh . [I]2959-i thought [we]3476-we could live [here]385-new york on the weekends and on holidays . ”[2959-i] “ [You]186-jameson want to be [a swamp person]3477-a swamp person with [me]2959-i ? ”[2959-i] [I]2959-i whisper in surprise . [He]186-jameson stands and takes [me]2959-i in [his]186-jameson arms . “ [I]186-jameson could be anything , [Emily Foster]186-jameson . . . as long as [I]186-jameson ’m with [you]186-jameson . ”[186-jameson]